WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.660
This time, er, no, last time on Artificial Dungeons

00:00:06.660 --> 00:00:09.679
and Intelligent Dragons. If it's that good, how

00:00:09.679 --> 00:00:11.480
am I going to distinguish between you and a real

00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:18.600
owl? Here, let me demonstrate. Hoot! Hoot! A

00:00:18.600 --> 00:00:22.600
single lute string out of place among the trinkets.

00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:27.019
You will notice that it does look a lot like

00:00:27.019 --> 00:00:31.390
the strings. that Lyra uses on her loot. Got

00:00:31.390 --> 00:00:35.689
it. He over -adjusts from the cover and sails

00:00:35.689 --> 00:00:37.509
it right over her head. And off of this is what

00:00:37.509 --> 00:00:43.329
you hear. Aw, just a poor little birdie. Care

00:00:43.329 --> 00:00:46.969
to share what that was? Uh, just a manifest of

00:00:46.969 --> 00:00:50.990
what was on here. Nothing really. You hear a

00:00:50.990 --> 00:00:54.189
voice call out from behind you. Yeah, that's

00:00:54.189 --> 00:00:58.659
them! And then... Oi, there! What did you do

00:00:58.659 --> 00:01:02.740
to my boys? And that's where we're going to end.

00:01:02.820 --> 00:01:10.159
Oh, hell yeah. In a world full of fear and sometimes

00:01:10.159 --> 00:01:15.280
loathing of unfathomable technological advancements,

00:01:15.379 --> 00:01:21.459
there stands one human hero. I need to kill something.

00:01:22.099 --> 00:01:29.709
This is the Chronicle of Mike. versus the machine.

00:01:33.430 --> 00:01:37.430
We find ourselves in a once quiet thicket in

00:01:37.430 --> 00:01:41.969
the Wildwood Thicket to be exact where two warriors

00:01:41.969 --> 00:01:45.909
one more pear -shaped than the other stand with

00:01:45.909 --> 00:01:50.060
a bird staring down a tall and a short goblin.

00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:54.459
Fumes of hatred and fear rising in the air, mostly

00:01:54.459 --> 00:01:56.840
from Pucciarelli's butt and maybe a little from

00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:59.420
his brain, which is stinky. Remember that his

00:01:59.420 --> 00:02:01.680
brain is stinky. I have to bring that up every

00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:03.420
time. Please stop with the stinkiness. No, I

00:02:03.420 --> 00:02:06.319
did, no. It was fine with the fart joke. Anyway,

00:02:06.459 --> 00:02:12.120
the big goblin stares him down and says, Oi then!

00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:15.960
I be thinking that you be choosing violence today.

00:02:16.569 --> 00:02:20.590
What gave that away? You both continue to stare

00:02:20.590 --> 00:02:23.990
each other down while Lyra gives a wink to Turkey,

00:02:24.189 --> 00:02:32.210
the axe beak, and she readies her loot. Oh, this

00:02:32.210 --> 00:02:36.449
is great. This is going... I'm going to enjoy

00:02:36.449 --> 00:02:40.509
this so much. Or you'll die. Or I'll die, yeah.

00:02:40.590 --> 00:02:44.409
My luck has been very... fortuitous as of late

00:02:44.409 --> 00:02:47.810
these past two episodes i've actually done some

00:02:47.810 --> 00:02:50.509
some good things and had some really great roles

00:02:50.509 --> 00:02:54.610
it's gonna like all like any kind of luck in

00:02:54.610 --> 00:02:57.550
my life that ever comes that's not bad this this

00:02:57.550 --> 00:03:01.129
this luck of run of good luck is definitely coming

00:03:01.129 --> 00:03:04.569
to an end soon yeah and speaking of that so you

00:03:04.569 --> 00:03:07.389
go into battle and i feel like Something that

00:03:07.389 --> 00:03:09.550
has to occur to a warrior every now and again

00:03:09.550 --> 00:03:12.289
is that maybe they won't come home this time.

00:03:12.650 --> 00:03:16.550
And so before every battle, you think of something.

00:03:16.689 --> 00:03:19.030
Something that's precious or important to you.

00:03:19.610 --> 00:03:21.870
And here's where I promised you I wanted you

00:03:21.870 --> 00:03:25.729
to roll the D100, which is technically two D10s.

00:03:26.650 --> 00:03:31.810
I want you to roll to figure out what thing it

00:03:31.810 --> 00:03:35.330
is that you think of before you go into battle.

00:03:36.650 --> 00:03:39.370
that you feel could be awaiting you if you would

00:03:39.370 --> 00:03:46.990
fall today? 18. Oh, no. Oh, shit. You close your

00:03:46.990 --> 00:03:52.189
eyes slowly, and in your mind, you go back to

00:03:52.189 --> 00:03:54.849
that memory that you think will await you when

00:03:54.849 --> 00:03:57.449
you cross into the gates of Dwarf Hala. As you

00:03:57.449 --> 00:03:58.849
close your eyes, what's your picture in your

00:03:58.849 --> 00:04:01.550
mind? Because you don't have aphantasia, right?

00:04:01.830 --> 00:04:04.650
No, I don't think so. No. Okay. What you see.

00:04:05.240 --> 00:04:07.719
The thing that will be awaiting you at the gates

00:04:07.719 --> 00:04:12.860
is a shovel, blades split nearly in half. You

00:04:12.860 --> 00:04:15.520
open your eyes back up, and you don't need to

00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:19.540
explain that to anyone, because that's your personal

00:04:19.540 --> 00:04:22.720
memory that only you saw. And then we jump into

00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:26.759
glorious battle. Do it. Roll for initiative.

00:04:27.480 --> 00:04:30.959
Yes. So how did you do on your initiative? I

00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:33.459
rolled a 10. All right. Yes, so Pucciarelli.

00:04:34.009 --> 00:04:35.250
It's going to be starting right there in the

00:04:35.250 --> 00:04:39.850
middle with a 10. Lyra with a 17. Turkey with

00:04:39.850 --> 00:04:43.709
an 11. Our little gooblin Wheezy got a 4. And

00:04:43.709 --> 00:04:46.790
then Gitzog just straight beefing it with a 3.

00:04:49.329 --> 00:04:56.069
Okay. So we have our stage set as Turkey, represented

00:04:56.069 --> 00:05:00.009
in real life by a goat, is happily eating the

00:05:00.009 --> 00:05:02.930
corpse of, I think, Snoz maybe? Yep. Pucciarelli

00:05:02.930 --> 00:05:06.879
stands. Nearby, surveying the scene, while Lyra

00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:09.800
has her little patootie between yourself and

00:05:09.800 --> 00:05:14.259
the abandoned, broken caravan. Ah, yes. In from

00:05:14.259 --> 00:05:18.180
the woods, however, come Wheezy, followed closely

00:05:18.180 --> 00:05:24.019
by Gitzob, the big chomper. And as you see, his

00:05:24.019 --> 00:05:27.699
two front teeth basically came out fused as one,

00:05:27.860 --> 00:05:30.740
and it looks like he's probably pretty good at

00:05:30.740 --> 00:05:34.829
chomping. Ah, my prize awaits. Alright, so with

00:05:34.829 --> 00:05:39.769
Lyra going first, I think she is going to go

00:05:39.769 --> 00:05:43.449
with her promised action from last episode. And

00:05:43.449 --> 00:05:44.990
I think she's going to give a little bit of a

00:05:44.990 --> 00:05:47.569
heal on Pucciarelli. Oh, please do. I need to

00:05:47.569 --> 00:05:49.829
be at full health for this. Yes, because as it

00:05:49.829 --> 00:05:52.449
went last time, while she had already used one

00:05:52.449 --> 00:05:55.310
of her cure wounds, let's be clear about this

00:05:55.310 --> 00:05:57.050
one. When Turkey kicked me in the face originally.

00:05:57.629 --> 00:05:59.769
Yes. So back at the camp, she used her first

00:05:59.769 --> 00:06:02.269
cure wounds to cure Pucciarelli. And now she's

00:06:02.269 --> 00:06:04.649
going to use her final of two spell slots to

00:06:04.649 --> 00:06:08.069
cure you one last time. She is actually going

00:06:08.069 --> 00:06:12.420
to... loop around you to just behind you all

00:06:12.420 --> 00:06:15.399
right and she's going to cast your wounds wow

00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.180
so she definitely heals you up to full because

00:06:18.180 --> 00:06:22.259
she actually rolled high and got a 17 uh does

00:06:22.259 --> 00:06:25.000
that mean i get the extra no so the way dnd works

00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.720
through regular healing you can only get back

00:06:27.720 --> 00:06:31.720
up to full there are however spells uh and effects

00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:35.920
that can give you either temporary hit points

00:06:36.730 --> 00:06:40.230
Or up your hit point maximum. Okay. So if something

00:06:40.230 --> 00:06:44.170
upped your hit point maximum, then your minimum

00:06:44.170 --> 00:06:48.329
hit points would then be... The maximum. Now,

00:06:48.350 --> 00:06:51.009
that new maximum. Yeah. Until the spell wore

00:06:51.009 --> 00:06:53.149
off, which is usually an hour. Okay. Which is

00:06:53.149 --> 00:06:55.550
definitely enough for a battle. Whereas temporary

00:06:55.550 --> 00:06:58.870
hit points are something that you get that's

00:06:58.870 --> 00:07:02.449
a separate pool. They're like black hearts in

00:07:02.449 --> 00:07:05.279
Binding of Isaac. Okay. When they're gone, they're

00:07:05.279 --> 00:07:07.519
just gone. Yeah. And you can only have them from

00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:09.980
one source. So if a source gave you four temporary

00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:12.860
hit points and you didn't lose them, and then

00:07:12.860 --> 00:07:14.660
a new source would give you six, it would just

00:07:14.660 --> 00:07:17.259
be reset to six. Oh, okay. Okay, I got you. But

00:07:17.259 --> 00:07:21.000
that's just a little D &D rules lore. All right.

00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:22.800
Which may or may not still be fully accurate

00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:25.579
because we're playing the 2014 Legacy Edition

00:07:25.579 --> 00:07:29.560
and not the new 2024, except... that I granted

00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:32.879
you the cleave ability. Yes. Because it was rad,

00:07:33.100 --> 00:07:36.160
and that was something I really liked from 2024's

00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:38.740
new rules, so it's in here. He's already attempted

00:07:38.740 --> 00:07:41.339
to cleave once. Maybe he could try to cleave

00:07:41.339 --> 00:07:43.720
again. I thought I didn't cleave. You attempted

00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:45.899
to cleave, but you fully missed the second goblin.

00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:47.639
Oh, yeah, that's right. No, I barely hit the

00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:49.639
second goblin, to where no damage was caused.

00:07:50.060 --> 00:07:52.399
I cut through the first one and just... Yeah,

00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:54.279
you whiffed the attack on the second one. Yes,

00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.019
that's how it works. That's how armor class works.

00:07:56.560 --> 00:08:00.100
So, Lyra has now used her final spell slot to

00:08:00.100 --> 00:08:02.180
give you a sweet little cure. You're back up

00:08:02.180 --> 00:08:04.980
to full. She's only down by one, so hopefully

00:08:04.980 --> 00:08:08.939
that'll be okay for her. She doesn't have any

00:08:08.939 --> 00:08:13.899
bonus actions other than as she's healing you,

00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:18.339
she whispers gently behind your ear, Let's finish

00:08:18.339 --> 00:08:20.449
it, Picharelli. We're going to. Don't worry.

00:08:20.689 --> 00:08:23.769
As you feel the... See, I was going to say it's

00:08:23.769 --> 00:08:27.910
like you feel a slight spray of her saliva from

00:08:27.910 --> 00:08:29.889
it, but when you pull back, you just realize

00:08:29.889 --> 00:08:33.649
it's blood from earlier. Yeah, yeah. Kind of

00:08:33.649 --> 00:08:39.769
shedding. Yeah, so that is her turn. Next is

00:08:39.769 --> 00:08:42.730
we got turkey. What are you doing? We got turkey.

00:08:43.689 --> 00:08:46.350
Something I'm going to grant you is the ability,

00:08:46.470 --> 00:08:49.809
because you rolled so highly on your animal handling

00:08:49.809 --> 00:08:53.210
upon first interacting with Turkey, I think.

00:08:53.210 --> 00:08:56.190
Didn't you roll a crit for that? Yeah. I got

00:08:56.190 --> 00:08:58.250
perfect on every time I tried to handle him.

00:08:58.809 --> 00:09:02.210
Yeah. Or her. Oh, yes. Remember, we won't know.

00:09:02.509 --> 00:09:05.730
You did not check. Not an appropriate time to

00:09:05.730 --> 00:09:07.929
check right now. Yeah, exactly. But before, you

00:09:07.929 --> 00:09:10.500
could have looked at your... birds' genitalia

00:09:10.500 --> 00:09:12.460
and tried to figure something out. It's got a

00:09:12.460 --> 00:09:15.320
whatchamacallit. A thingamajig. What do birds

00:09:15.320 --> 00:09:16.919
have? No, all birds have. Well, it's a cloaca,

00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:19.059
but that's a butthole, not genitalia. That's

00:09:19.059 --> 00:09:20.759
right. Well, they pee and poop out of it. Yeah.

00:09:21.059 --> 00:09:24.899
Do you poop out of your dick? No. Does a woman

00:09:24.899 --> 00:09:29.759
poop out of her dick? No. Damn it. Okay, well,

00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:32.519
whatever. We're not going to go into gender politics

00:09:32.519 --> 00:09:37.120
here, okay? All axe beaks are valid. Oh, yes.

00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:39.440
All axe beaks matter. But what I'm going to do

00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:41.379
is because of that, I'm going to let you roll

00:09:41.379 --> 00:09:45.299
an animal handling to see if Turkey will take

00:09:45.299 --> 00:09:47.720
your command every turn. Okay. So each of her

00:09:47.720 --> 00:09:50.320
turns, I need you to roll an animal handling

00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:53.440
to see if you get to control her or if I do.

00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:56.169
So it's a d20 plus three. All right, Turkey,

00:09:56.370 --> 00:09:58.950
let's see what we got here. It's a nine. Or no,

00:09:58.990 --> 00:10:02.129
it's a seven out of five. Yeah, no. So you don't

00:10:02.129 --> 00:10:04.970
get to call it. What I'm going to say is that

00:10:04.970 --> 00:10:08.009
Turkey just keeps eating. She's full of food.

00:10:08.529 --> 00:10:11.750
He or she. We don't know. They need to say they.

00:10:12.330 --> 00:10:15.110
They are full of food. And I think, yeah, I think

00:10:15.110 --> 00:10:17.470
that kind of makes the most sense is that they

00:10:17.470 --> 00:10:20.070
wouldn't move away. They wouldn't move toward

00:10:20.070 --> 00:10:22.389
and they wouldn't take any action because they

00:10:22.389 --> 00:10:24.929
are eating. All right. All right. Now, though,

00:10:24.929 --> 00:10:29.570
now it's Pucciarelli's turn. Well, first off,

00:10:29.750 --> 00:10:32.330
I have something to say to them, preferably the

00:10:32.330 --> 00:10:36.669
big one. I'm going to rip out your insides, eviscerate

00:10:36.669 --> 00:10:39.720
your stomach. fornicate with your skull, and

00:10:39.720 --> 00:10:45.480
use your intestines as a condom. What? I'm going

00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:52.220
to skull fuck you! And I light a smokestick as

00:10:52.220 --> 00:10:58.580
I'm doing this. I'm gonna say that on Lyra's

00:10:58.580 --> 00:11:03.259
next attack, she gets disadvantage. Because of

00:11:03.259 --> 00:11:07.500
just how... Brutish that was. Scared she got

00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:11.840
in that moment. She kind of shakes and she shivers.

00:11:12.940 --> 00:11:16.519
Do you look back at her? No, I'm focused. Okay.

00:11:16.679 --> 00:11:19.639
I have to stay focused on this. Something may

00:11:19.639 --> 00:11:21.360
or may not have happened behind you and you have

00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:23.840
no idea. I'm just going to say that. Oh, shit.

00:11:24.039 --> 00:11:26.659
You have no idea. She pooped herself. She may

00:11:26.659 --> 00:11:29.259
have dropped something. So, it is now Pucciarelli's

00:11:29.259 --> 00:11:31.610
turn. She dropped her loot. Shit. All right,

00:11:31.669 --> 00:11:34.669
so now what are you going to do, Pucciarelli?

00:11:34.889 --> 00:11:37.330
How many spaces am I in between them? You can

00:11:37.330 --> 00:11:41.090
move six, so that's like one, two, three, four.

00:11:41.429 --> 00:11:43.909
I mean, you're on them like blue bottom. No one

00:11:43.909 --> 00:11:45.950
else has moved in, and I can't go in by myself

00:11:45.950 --> 00:11:47.769
because if I do that, I'm going to be in a lot

00:11:47.769 --> 00:11:50.049
of trouble. Yeah, if you wanted to play defensively,

00:11:50.049 --> 00:11:53.750
remember you do also have your sets of hand axes

00:11:53.750 --> 00:11:55.690
you can try throwing, too. Well, you get one

00:11:55.690 --> 00:11:58.429
throw, but still. Yeah, I get one throw. I mean,

00:11:58.429 --> 00:12:01.360
you get one throw per turn. How far can I throw

00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:04.000
my hand axes? Can they go six? Let me just see

00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:06.500
your sheet real quick. I'll look at it. 20, 60.

00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:10.500
Yeah, no, you need to throw them between 20 to

00:12:10.500 --> 00:12:13.559
60 feet. Okay. And so, like, it's like one, two,

00:12:13.620 --> 00:12:15.679
three, four, five, six. So they're, like, in

00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:19.090
the perfect range. All right, cool. Well, I'm

00:12:19.090 --> 00:12:20.649
going to take out a hand axe, and I'm going to

00:12:20.649 --> 00:12:22.669
aim this at Wheezy's little fucking ass. Okay,

00:12:22.669 --> 00:12:24.129
you want to aim at Wheezy. Do you want to move

00:12:24.129 --> 00:12:26.389
at all, like laterally, or do you want to stay

00:12:26.389 --> 00:12:28.429
in your same position? I want to try to line

00:12:28.429 --> 00:12:30.950
up the shot. I want to try to line up perfectly.

00:12:31.409 --> 00:12:33.470
Do you want to go two over? Yeah, go two over

00:12:33.470 --> 00:12:37.409
so it's more... Yep. Now, that does nothing mechanically,

00:12:37.490 --> 00:12:40.769
but in the soul of the game, in the theater of

00:12:40.769 --> 00:12:43.299
the mind. I want to be... You want to have a

00:12:43.299 --> 00:12:45.539
good shot. A sniper always wants the straightest

00:12:45.539 --> 00:12:48.559
shot. Yeah, there you go. All right. So I'm not

00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:51.279
going to waste. I mean, this is how I'm playing

00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:54.480
this action. I hit and I can kill with a thrown

00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:57.679
hand axe. I know what I'm doing next. If I miss,

00:12:57.860 --> 00:13:00.940
I also know what I'm doing. I have a plan. Yeah,

00:13:01.139 --> 00:13:03.129
that's called. playing Dungeons and Dragons.

00:13:03.450 --> 00:13:06.029
I'm not expressing my plan to you yet. Yeah,

00:13:06.029 --> 00:13:08.070
no, you don't. You tell me what you're doing

00:13:08.070 --> 00:13:10.590
currently in the moment. Alright, here we go.

00:13:10.750 --> 00:13:13.710
I'm taking the handaxe. You are chucking a handaxe

00:13:13.710 --> 00:13:16.990
at Wheezy. Yep, I'm taking aim. It's a d20. Come

00:13:16.990 --> 00:13:21.929
on. d20 plus your... Isn't that... Yes. Oh, so

00:13:21.929 --> 00:13:26.730
it's a d20 plus 4. Yes. 14. Well, as you chuck

00:13:26.730 --> 00:13:29.639
your axe toward Wheezy... It sails just slightly

00:13:29.639 --> 00:13:33.879
above his head, cutting the strap of his quiver

00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:40.440
off, but you notice Gitzog is a very... He's

00:13:40.440 --> 00:13:43.639
studious as a battlemaster, and he catches his

00:13:43.639 --> 00:13:46.720
subordinate's quiver and puts it back into his

00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:49.000
hand and says, Keep it together, Weezy! We got

00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:53.600
a goblin, or a goblin killer to kill! Well...

00:13:53.799 --> 00:13:55.919
I kind of was hoping I missed this, by the way.

00:13:56.279 --> 00:14:00.580
Your hand axe... Thunks in the stream. No. Oh,

00:14:00.580 --> 00:14:04.460
no. As it's flying back, it lodges itself in

00:14:04.460 --> 00:14:08.320
the ass of a badger. And the badger squealches

00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:13.039
and runs off toward a nearby stream. Oh, why

00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:14.379
couldn't it have just killed the damn thing?

00:14:14.539 --> 00:14:17.059
And there goes your hand axe. One of the most.

00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:19.360
Yeah, damn it. Oh, well. You maybe only had,

00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:22.019
I don't know, three or four? Yeah. We'll find

00:14:22.019 --> 00:14:25.169
the badger after this. Okay. Well, I guess there's

00:14:25.169 --> 00:14:27.590
nothing else I can do right now. Try me. I dare

00:14:27.590 --> 00:14:34.250
you. Okay, how do you set up that stance? I need

00:14:34.250 --> 00:14:36.289
to take a defensive position stance right now,

00:14:36.330 --> 00:14:40.009
so I'm going to stand out, great axe out. Well,

00:14:41.009 --> 00:14:45.710
you know what I mean. You know what I'm trying

00:14:45.710 --> 00:14:48.500
to do, right? Axe is like, I don't know. So you're

00:14:48.500 --> 00:14:50.600
weapon posing. Yeah, like I'm trying. So I'm

00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:52.919
taking up a defensive position. That way I can

00:14:52.919 --> 00:14:55.639
block and parry. I just want to. You don't have

00:14:55.639 --> 00:14:59.179
one. Yeah. Yeah. Taking a defensive position.

00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:02.539
No, I just in my head. I just saw it as like

00:15:02.539 --> 00:15:05.440
you holding your hands out, spread your legs.

00:15:05.500 --> 00:15:09.179
So you're like exposing your genitalia. And then

00:15:09.179 --> 00:15:11.259
you just have your axe in your right hand, and

00:15:11.259 --> 00:15:13.620
then you just bring it, and you just clap your

00:15:13.620 --> 00:15:15.600
chest a few times before bringing the axe back

00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:17.700
out. Oh, no. That was my first thought. Oh, no,

00:15:17.779 --> 00:15:20.679
no, no, no, no. You'll see. No, you're not being

00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:23.279
a pretty boy. You're just humming up for battle.

00:15:23.500 --> 00:15:25.960
Yeah. Oh, no, you'll see what's happening. Yeah,

00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:29.620
defensive positioning, and that will end my actions.

00:15:29.960 --> 00:15:32.419
Okay. Shit in your pants over there, goblin.

00:15:32.580 --> 00:15:35.600
You say as you smell the recently released shit

00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:40.029
of... Schnauz and Flubbly and Gorbles. No, it

00:15:40.029 --> 00:15:42.529
was Schnauz and... Oh, yeah, can you remember?

00:15:43.129 --> 00:15:45.169
Schnauz had the nose. Oh, and then there was

00:15:45.169 --> 00:15:46.990
the drummer one. I forget what they called the

00:15:46.990 --> 00:15:48.769
drummer. I forget what we called the drummer.

00:15:48.990 --> 00:15:52.149
So the drummer was Blinky. Blinky, Schnauz, and

00:15:52.149 --> 00:15:54.830
Wheezy. And Snaggletooth. Oh, and Snaggletooth,

00:15:54.889 --> 00:15:57.529
yeah. Yeah. I have his teeth in a jar. I'll have

00:15:57.529 --> 00:16:00.570
his teeth in a jar. And Schnauz, his nose will

00:16:00.570 --> 00:16:02.210
be pickled. His nose is going to be pickled.

00:16:02.230 --> 00:16:04.450
And I have the drum. Yep, you do have the drum.

00:16:04.590 --> 00:16:06.429
All right. All right, bring it on. Let's see

00:16:06.429 --> 00:16:09.250
what you idiots got. So, Wheezy here will take

00:16:09.250 --> 00:16:12.490
up a familiar position, utilizing, I think, what

00:16:12.490 --> 00:16:15.429
did I say? I think I said half cover. Yeah, he

00:16:15.429 --> 00:16:18.590
was like half covered. His dome is exposed. Yeah,

00:16:18.610 --> 00:16:22.450
so, and a bit of his breast. The important part

00:16:22.450 --> 00:16:25.289
is exposed. The head. Who's he attacking? See,

00:16:25.350 --> 00:16:28.389
that's the question, because I think Turkey has

00:16:28.389 --> 00:16:32.019
no reason to go for... Turkey's eating his friend!

00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:34.419
Well, yeah, but he's not an immediate threat

00:16:34.419 --> 00:16:37.080
at the moment. Lyra's pretty far back, and she's

00:16:37.080 --> 00:16:40.139
trying to be a little bit more inconspicuous.

00:16:40.379 --> 00:16:43.120
So, I mean, I would assume he would just go for

00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:45.299
the guy that just threw a freaking hand axe at

00:16:45.299 --> 00:16:52.009
him. Yeah. Oh, I'm fucked. Yeah, see, I knew

00:16:52.009 --> 00:16:55.129
this was the episode. Oh, man. So Wheezy just

00:16:55.129 --> 00:16:59.090
crit. I'm a guy. I'm dead. You took ten damage.

00:16:59.409 --> 00:17:02.110
Six. I'm down to six. I ain't got nothing to

00:17:02.110 --> 00:17:07.109
heal myself with. Yeah. So he catches you. I'm

00:17:07.109 --> 00:17:09.430
going to say with that amount of damage, he's

00:17:09.430 --> 00:17:13.269
going to catch you in a bit of a gap in your

00:17:13.269 --> 00:17:17.549
armor pieces, and he gets you, like, right near

00:17:17.549 --> 00:17:21.589
the taint. So he gets you in, like, the Bumble

00:17:21.589 --> 00:17:23.829
region. So it misses the Ghibli bits, though,

00:17:23.890 --> 00:17:25.509
right? It misses the Ghibli bits and hits you

00:17:25.509 --> 00:17:27.769
in the Bumble region. All right. Damn, I thought

00:17:27.769 --> 00:17:29.109
that was almost a killing blow in the Bumble

00:17:29.109 --> 00:17:32.630
region. Yeah. If it would have been in the Ghiblis,

00:17:32.630 --> 00:17:35.329
it would have been real bad. Yeah, so Wheezy

00:17:35.329 --> 00:17:38.930
cheers out. Yeah, I got the bastard! You're going

00:17:38.930 --> 00:17:43.539
to regret that. Gitzog just laughs. Keep on laughing.

00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:46.960
It's Gitzog's turn now. All right, so Gitzog,

00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:50.640
and he's actually... Uh -oh. No, he hops over

00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:53.359
here. Yeah, that's what he does. All right, so

00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:56.880
he has a technique that I'm going to tell you

00:17:56.880 --> 00:17:58.660
about here in a second. All right. So he goes

00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:01.579
one, two, because he's smart enough to move diagonally,

00:18:01.640 --> 00:18:05.099
three. He's going to stop right here, and this

00:18:05.099 --> 00:18:08.640
is where you see him grind his teeth a little

00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:13.480
bit, working himself up. He takes this rock,

00:18:13.660 --> 00:18:16.799
this painted rock he has in his hand, and he

00:18:16.799 --> 00:18:19.740
gives it a little kiss, and then he puts his

00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:23.119
head down, and he does what we are calling the

00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:26.900
Chompin' Charge. As an action, Gitzog bites down

00:18:26.900 --> 00:18:29.160
on a piece of wood or metal in his mouth. He

00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:32.240
has like a strap from his helmet, and then he

00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:35.319
charges in a straight line up to 20 feet. Each

00:18:35.319 --> 00:18:38.180
creature in his path must make a DC 12 dexterity

00:18:38.180 --> 00:18:41.500
saving throw or take a bunch of... Bludgeoning

00:18:41.500 --> 00:18:43.519
damage. Oh, so if I don't get this, I'm dead.

00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:47.220
No, he's actually pulling a power move on you,

00:18:47.319 --> 00:18:50.619
and he's charging straight into Lyra. Oh, crap.

00:18:50.839 --> 00:18:53.980
Because he did just see Lyra heal you. Oh, shit.

00:18:54.019 --> 00:18:58.559
So he goes by the age -old MMO rule, kill the

00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:02.140
healer first. Yeah. So she needs to make a DC

00:19:02.140 --> 00:19:08.079
12 dex saving throw, and she... Her dex should

00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:10.839
be pretty high. Yeah, she has a plus four. Oh,

00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:14.299
good. And she rolls a 13. So she's 17, so she

00:19:14.299 --> 00:19:17.240
avoids that. No, no, she rolled a total of 13.

00:19:17.980 --> 00:19:22.960
But that beats a DC 12. Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay, so

00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:24.980
actually what ends up happening is she makes

00:19:24.980 --> 00:19:28.519
her saving throw, but he actually, since he misses,

00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:33.640
he keeps going to the side of her. Part of his

00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:36.039
ability is if he hits a solid object like a tree

00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:40.059
or a wall, he stops and takes 1d6 damage and

00:19:40.059 --> 00:19:43.980
falls prone himself. So Lyra just accidentally

00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:49.160
did 6 damage to Gitzel by making her DC throw.

00:19:49.420 --> 00:19:52.839
Her dex saving throw. And he is actually prone.

00:19:53.059 --> 00:19:58.160
He goes, ah, shit, and falls to the ground. All

00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:01.619
right. And he, shoot, how far did he move? One,

00:20:01.619 --> 00:20:06.000
two, three. And then he charged. I'm going to

00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:09.440
say he actually uses the other half of his movement.

00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:12.460
Stand back up. To stand back up. All right. So

00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:14.680
I believe that's how not prone works. It uses

00:20:14.680 --> 00:20:18.039
half your speed for you to get back up. So that

00:20:18.039 --> 00:20:20.309
means he couldn't move around or anything. Okay,

00:20:20.569 --> 00:20:24.130
so now we're back. It's, weirdly enough, it's

00:20:24.130 --> 00:20:27.710
Lyra's turn. Now, Lyra used up her spell slots,

00:20:27.890 --> 00:20:32.589
and she could do her one, the Vicious Moggery

00:20:32.589 --> 00:20:35.470
cantrip. To remind you, you unleash a string

00:20:35.470 --> 00:20:37.309
of insults laced with subtle enchantments at

00:20:37.309 --> 00:20:40.490
one creature. You can see her here within range,

00:20:40.769 --> 00:20:43.269
within 60 feet. Target must succeed on a saving

00:20:43.269 --> 00:20:45.710
throw or take 1d6 psychic damage and have that

00:20:45.710 --> 00:20:47.549
disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes

00:20:47.549 --> 00:20:49.829
before the end of its next turn. So that's just

00:20:49.829 --> 00:20:53.710
d6. It's a wisdom saving throw. I feel like she

00:20:53.710 --> 00:20:56.529
should use her Vicious Mockery. Yeah, that disadvantage

00:20:56.529 --> 00:21:00.410
was really helpful last time. Yeah, and with

00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:03.769
Wheezy getting these fucking crits. Yeah, Wheezy's

00:21:03.769 --> 00:21:07.329
just a critting old boy. Oh, yeah, he misses

00:21:07.329 --> 00:21:10.430
his saving throw against her Vicious Mockery,

00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:16.259
so she deals... What, one? One damage. One damage.

00:21:16.339 --> 00:21:18.660
Of course. Which is the second time she's dealt

00:21:18.660 --> 00:21:21.099
one damage with Vicious Mockery. But he does

00:21:21.099 --> 00:21:23.759
have disadvantage on his next attack. She can't

00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:27.519
move fully away, but I think as she, as part

00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:31.700
of a piece of lore from the last, from Gitzog's

00:21:31.700 --> 00:21:34.319
turn as well, when she bolts him into that tree,

00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:36.279
she moves over to here. She doesn't provoke an

00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:38.920
opportunity attack because she stays in his aura,

00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:42.119
but he is standing right there. And it is now

00:21:42.119 --> 00:21:46.470
Turkey's turn. roll this 20 to see if uh yeah

00:21:46.470 --> 00:21:50.490
i want to see my amp it's a 20 plus 3 oh dirty

00:21:50.490 --> 00:21:52.970
20 we got a dirty 20 that definitely beats the

00:21:52.970 --> 00:21:55.789
dc i had in mind and you get to tell turkey now

00:21:55.789 --> 00:21:58.509
i would assume at this point she uh they have

00:21:58.509 --> 00:22:01.670
seen the tree next to them get shaken up they've

00:22:01.670 --> 00:22:05.869
noticed uh the crit against you from wheezy and

00:22:05.869 --> 00:22:08.690
they've noticed gets all charged right past because

00:22:08.690 --> 00:22:12.329
you rolled so well i'm gonna let you decide what

00:22:12.329 --> 00:22:16.650
is turkey's target turkey's targets wheezy wheezy

00:22:16.650 --> 00:22:19.150
yeah okay because they crit you more than yep

00:22:19.150 --> 00:22:24.170
okay so when i bond with these animals they bond

00:22:24.170 --> 00:22:28.329
with me and they they realize they we form we

00:22:28.329 --> 00:22:31.349
are family we are brothers and sisters in arms

00:22:31.349 --> 00:22:34.390
and we fight Is that what you say to Turkey?

00:22:34.589 --> 00:22:39.210
Yes. Okay. So they've got a pretty decent path

00:22:39.210 --> 00:22:40.930
here because it's one, two, three, four, and

00:22:40.930 --> 00:22:44.349
I think they had 50 feet of movement. All right.

00:22:44.390 --> 00:22:47.589
What are my axe beaks attacks? Well, I get to

00:22:47.589 --> 00:22:52.990
do the attack. Okay. Okay. So Turkey whiffs the

00:22:52.990 --> 00:22:57.250
shot, but has definitely ruffled Wheezy's non

00:22:57.250 --> 00:23:01.710
-feathery skin. All right. So that is Turkey's

00:23:01.710 --> 00:23:05.789
turn. We are now up to the 6 HP Pucciarelli.

00:23:06.150 --> 00:23:10.349
Well, being as it might be my time to go, no

00:23:10.349 --> 00:23:13.970
better way than to go out. I plant my greataxe

00:23:13.970 --> 00:23:16.970
into the ground real quick, but I shove the handle

00:23:16.970 --> 00:23:19.609
into the ground. Oh, yeah. You got to do your

00:23:19.609 --> 00:23:23.430
thing. Yeah. Now, picture this for our fans out

00:23:23.430 --> 00:23:26.250
there who listen to metal and the hardcore metal

00:23:26.250 --> 00:23:29.029
scene. Picture what Pucciarelli is saying as

00:23:29.029 --> 00:23:32.140
he is pounding on his chest. to enter his berserk

00:23:32.140 --> 00:23:36.700
mode is the beginning lyrics to Slaughter to

00:23:36.700 --> 00:23:40.160
Prevail's Viking. Okay. And he's just repeating

00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:44.599
that over and over again because he knows that

00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:50.339
if he's gonna go out, he's going berserk. Berserker.

00:23:50.599 --> 00:23:55.559
Would you like to suck my cock, berserker? Would

00:23:55.559 --> 00:24:00.460
you like to making fuck, berserker? My love.

00:24:04.619 --> 00:24:09.859
Okay, so Pucciarelli has entered rage mode. Just

00:24:09.859 --> 00:24:12.220
as a reminder, this means you have resistance

00:24:12.220 --> 00:24:14.819
to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage,

00:24:14.900 --> 00:24:20.720
so all weapon damage. I'm assuming the side effect

00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:22.779
is I'm going to bleed out faster. So technically

00:24:22.779 --> 00:24:25.109
what we should have had you do... technically

00:24:25.109 --> 00:24:27.529
you should have entered rage before, because

00:24:27.529 --> 00:24:29.289
then you would have taken half damage from that

00:24:29.289 --> 00:24:32.250
attack. Yeah, oh well. I figured. For dramatic

00:24:32.250 --> 00:24:35.069
effect, I did it this way. It is the way it is,

00:24:35.069 --> 00:24:36.630
and to be quite frank, that did make it way more

00:24:36.630 --> 00:24:38.690
dramatic, that you took that horrible damage,

00:24:38.950 --> 00:24:43.289
you took a bolt into the grundle, and then you

00:24:43.289 --> 00:24:46.470
became the Hulk. Yes. So you get resistance to

00:24:46.470 --> 00:24:48.349
all the weapon damage. When you make an attack

00:24:48.349 --> 00:24:50.289
using strength, which is how you do with an axe,

00:24:50.450 --> 00:24:52.869
you gain a bonus to the damage that increases

00:24:52.869 --> 00:24:55.650
as you gain levels as a barbarian. So it's written

00:24:55.650 --> 00:24:58.509
down in there somewhere how much damage you do.

00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:02.099
You also have advantage on strength checks and

00:25:02.099 --> 00:25:04.759
strength saving throws. And it basically just

00:25:04.759 --> 00:25:07.119
lasts until you want to end it. Because it lasts

00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:08.720
until the end of your next turn. But then every

00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:11.420
bonus action you get, you reactivate your rage.

00:25:11.500 --> 00:25:14.400
Or you, if you do damage. So I get plus to what

00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:17.079
strength? You get advantage on strength checks,

00:25:17.160 --> 00:25:18.779
strength saving throws. But then you can just

00:25:18.779 --> 00:25:22.680
get extra damage when you're doing rage. Oh,

00:25:22.779 --> 00:25:25.839
and I had 20 hand axes, by the way. Oh, okay.

00:25:25.960 --> 00:25:30.660
That's good. In a little pooch. Yeah, okay. That's

00:25:30.660 --> 00:25:32.579
what they call you, poocherelly. Very funny.

00:25:32.940 --> 00:25:36.619
But, okay, yeah. So I am in berserk rage mode,

00:25:36.779 --> 00:25:41.059
and being that Turkey is tasked with taking on

00:25:41.059 --> 00:25:44.099
Wheezy, and I had to watch my partner almost

00:25:44.099 --> 00:25:47.880
get run over by that big green bastard, but lucky

00:25:47.880 --> 00:25:50.880
for her and unlucky for him is she's nimble on

00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:53.799
her feet, and he's an idiot. So yeah, as he's

00:25:53.799 --> 00:25:56.640
dazed and confused, I wonder if he notices what

00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.359
is going on. And if he does notice, I hope he's

00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:01.920
shitting his pants. Okay. Pucciarelli has entered

00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:04.819
a rage. Yes, I have. What is Pucciarelli going

00:26:04.819 --> 00:26:07.720
to do? Well, I already know that I've sent Turkey

00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.460
to go and deal with the little pissant. And I'm

00:26:10.460 --> 00:26:12.400
focusing my attention on the one who tried to

00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:15.220
kill my partner. Uh -huh, but instead ran into

00:26:15.220 --> 00:26:18.140
a tree. Yeah. He's rubbing his little noggin

00:26:18.140 --> 00:26:20.359
over there. Does he realize what I've just done?

00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:23.579
He heard it. Is he at all intimidated? He's rubbing

00:26:23.579 --> 00:26:27.000
his noggin. He should be. Scared. He probably

00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:29.119
has a concussion, so it's probably difficult

00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:31.180
for him to hear things. Okay. I'm just going

00:26:31.180 --> 00:26:33.079
to saunter up to him and just swing. All right.

00:26:33.099 --> 00:26:35.140
How do you want to come at him? Turn around and

00:26:35.140 --> 00:26:36.559
straight forward at him. You just want to go

00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:39.380
with the one over? Yeah. All right. Oh, please

00:26:39.380 --> 00:26:41.940
let me quit. Please let me kill. All right. All

00:26:41.940 --> 00:26:44.200
right. Attack him. Attack him, boy. We're attacking.

00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:49.259
16 plus. That's a dirty 20. All right. We got

00:26:49.259 --> 00:26:52.380
a dirty 20 here. How much damage is Pucciarelli

00:26:52.380 --> 00:26:56.650
going to do? So that's... One D12. D12 plus two.

00:26:56.690 --> 00:26:59.609
Plus two, plus two. Yes. So one D12 plus four.

00:26:59.869 --> 00:27:06.009
You got a chance to kill him here, big boy. Yeah,

00:27:06.089 --> 00:27:08.369
maybe I should have had you fight. Maybe there

00:27:08.369 --> 00:27:09.890
should have been more goblins coming in here,

00:27:09.970 --> 00:27:13.849
but this is what we got. Eight. Ah, ah. So he

00:27:13.849 --> 00:27:16.069
is still alive. He's missing a limb, though.

00:27:16.150 --> 00:27:19.250
He's not looking great. No, he's missing a bit

00:27:19.250 --> 00:27:21.250
of shoulder meat, but his arm's still moving,

00:27:21.349 --> 00:27:24.279
and he screams out, Gah! That was my favorite

00:27:24.279 --> 00:27:27.460
shoulder! You're gonna pay for this! I'd like

00:27:27.460 --> 00:27:30.940
to, Macy. You make me pay. My promise from the

00:27:30.940 --> 00:27:33.440
beginning of the battle still stands. Wheezy,

00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:37.759
make him pay! Wheezy's dealing with another friend

00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:41.460
of mine. Alright, so Wheezy... I'm trying to

00:27:41.460 --> 00:27:45.000
think what Wheezy would do here. Because he's

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:47.400
gotta be terrified that there's a giant fucking

00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:50.579
axe beak in his face. Yeah, I'm going to actually

00:27:50.579 --> 00:27:53.920
say that I'm going to have the goblin here make

00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:57.920
an acrobatics check. What's his acrobatics level

00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:00.579
at right now? This is going to be a plus two.

00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:04.299
Oh, I'm going to give myself. I'm going to say

00:28:04.299 --> 00:28:07.039
this is DC 14. He is attempting to jump through

00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:10.279
the wreckage of the caravan, attempting to hop

00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:13.220
through to get by to get to the other side. Okay.

00:28:13.859 --> 00:28:16.460
Well, he rolls a 19 plus two, bringing him to

00:28:16.460 --> 00:28:20.289
a 21. So, the thing is, though, this is for him

00:28:20.289 --> 00:28:23.690
to get... Thank you. This is for him to get through

00:28:23.690 --> 00:28:25.809
it. But Turkey still gets an opportunity attack.

00:28:26.170 --> 00:28:33.849
Oh, okay. Turkey totally gets a hit on the goblin's

00:28:33.849 --> 00:28:37.670
little legs as he's jumping through. Can it survive

00:28:37.670 --> 00:28:43.289
a bit of a beak chomp from Turkey? Ho -ho! So

00:28:43.289 --> 00:28:47.250
here's a funny little tidbit for you. Looking

00:28:47.250 --> 00:28:50.589
very nimbly and bimbly, Wheezy attempts to jump

00:28:50.589 --> 00:28:54.789
up and through the mass of the caravan to attempt

00:28:54.789 --> 00:28:56.750
to get away from Turkey and get out to the other

00:28:56.750 --> 00:29:01.609
side. Turkey, however, grabs Wheezy by the leg.

00:29:01.690 --> 00:29:06.809
Oh, like a T -Rex! Ripping Wheezy back out of

00:29:06.809 --> 00:29:10.089
the caravan, throwing him to the ground and beaking

00:29:10.089 --> 00:29:13.630
right through his sweet... precious little aorta

00:29:13.630 --> 00:29:18.329
wheezy is dead and turkey has another snack and

00:29:18.329 --> 00:29:21.690
i'm gonna say that turkey is going to be eating

00:29:21.690 --> 00:29:24.930
and if you want to use turkey again to help here

00:29:24.930 --> 00:29:26.809
i have to roll you're gonna have to roll good

00:29:26.809 --> 00:29:29.210
to get turkey away from their meal all right

00:29:29.210 --> 00:29:33.289
but that's the goblin's turn the goblin died

00:29:33.289 --> 00:29:36.750
on a turn yeah the goblin just got killed on

00:29:36.750 --> 00:29:39.250
his own turn But who would have known? Wheezy

00:29:39.250 --> 00:29:41.809
is dead. Yeah, but that leads us on to Gitzog's

00:29:41.809 --> 00:29:45.029
turn. Yeah, with basically half an arm. Well,

00:29:45.250 --> 00:29:48.170
he just lost some shoulder meat, okay? Yeah,

00:29:48.210 --> 00:29:50.210
and you realize what ligaments and shit are in

00:29:50.210 --> 00:29:52.170
your shoulder? Your rotator cuff is there. He

00:29:52.170 --> 00:29:54.630
ain't using that arm for much right now. He's

00:29:54.630 --> 00:29:57.230
disabled. You're making fun of a disabled veteran,

00:29:57.410 --> 00:30:00.710
Michael. What? Yeah, exactly. All right, I'm

00:30:00.710 --> 00:30:04.309
going to roll a C. Okay, his chomp and charge

00:30:04.309 --> 00:30:08.119
ability did not recharge. So he can't do it.

00:30:08.539 --> 00:30:11.160
And I'm going to say, yeah, he's just going to

00:30:11.160 --> 00:30:12.900
get up. He's going to turn around. He's going

00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:15.160
to come in this way, trying to distance himself

00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:18.940
from you. And, well, no. You know what? The way

00:30:18.940 --> 00:30:21.339
these guys are, he went for your, you know, you

00:30:21.339 --> 00:30:24.220
went for his shoulder meat. He'll just stay where

00:30:24.220 --> 00:30:27.940
he is. And, yeah, he's going to attack you. All

00:30:27.940 --> 00:30:30.839
right. So first he comes in with his chompy bite,

00:30:30.940 --> 00:30:34.319
getting a 13. I have a 15 armor class. That is

00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:37.700
a miss. So he goes to bite down on you, but not

00:30:37.700 --> 00:30:42.259
being completely used to his mismatched waiting

00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:44.559
because of all the shoulder meat that he's missing,

00:30:44.740 --> 00:30:48.960
he miscalculates the incoming bite, and he just

00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.160
chomps air. After doing that, though, his arm

00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:54.880
comes swinging around with his little bitty short

00:30:54.880 --> 00:31:00.240
sword, and he crits. Oh, well. I got two crits.

00:31:00.359 --> 00:31:03.759
Yep. Okay, so that's with the short sword. This

00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:11.720
is halved, right? Let's see. Five damage. I have

00:31:11.720 --> 00:31:18.619
one HP left. Yeah. I'm still in a rage, so all

00:31:18.619 --> 00:31:21.500
I'm doing is laughing. Okay, that is Gitzog's

00:31:21.500 --> 00:31:24.559
turn. All right, Lyra's up. Lyra is up, and I'm

00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:27.920
going to say... More Vicious Mockery? Or is she

00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.000
going to try her... I think she's not feeling

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:33.599
too up and open on that. She's going to try hand

00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:36.420
-to -hand combat. So I think she's a little bit

00:31:36.420 --> 00:31:41.559
peeved. She's a little bit miffed. And she pulls

00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:48.240
out her rapier. And her swing goes wide. Damn

00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:51.140
it, Lyra. And she goes, ah, we're going to die

00:31:51.140 --> 00:31:54.119
here. Well, I am, but I'm okay with it. Damn

00:31:54.119 --> 00:31:57.200
this man. It's okay. Turkey, you can stay eating.

00:31:57.779 --> 00:32:01.779
Pujarelli, you can finish it. Okay, so Turkey's

00:32:01.779 --> 00:32:03.019
turn. You're not going to try to call Turkey?

00:32:03.319 --> 00:32:07.480
Yeah, I'm calling Turkey. Okay. I've got a DC

00:32:07.480 --> 00:32:09.980
in mind. It's raised since the last time because

00:32:09.980 --> 00:32:13.660
now he's eating a fresh kill. They are. 16 plus...

00:32:13.660 --> 00:32:16.740
Three, you said? No, whatever theirs is, yeah.

00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:20.299
Oh, it's my animal handling? Yeah, 16 plus...

00:32:20.299 --> 00:32:23.680
Yeah, three is a 19. Okay. Your words seem to

00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:26.250
get through to Turkey. What do you want to command?

00:32:26.730 --> 00:32:30.390
Turkey, attack. Turkey, get him. Sick him? Sick

00:32:30.390 --> 00:32:33.650
him. All right, so it's difficult to get Turkey

00:32:33.650 --> 00:32:36.910
to face away from their fresh new meal with the

00:32:36.910 --> 00:32:41.009
bloodlust within, but Turkey is a loyal, loyal

00:32:41.009 --> 00:32:44.309
companion and does have the amount of movement

00:32:44.309 --> 00:32:46.630
to make it. To right behind him. And now it's

00:32:46.630 --> 00:32:48.890
another D20 roll for attack. Well, that'd be

00:32:48.890 --> 00:32:53.609
mean, I think. All right, Turkey. Yeah, with

00:32:53.609 --> 00:32:57.390
an 11, does not hit, but definitely gets them

00:32:57.390 --> 00:32:59.549
all miffle -tiffle. We're all going to fucking

00:32:59.549 --> 00:33:01.230
die. Well, it's funny you say that, because it's

00:33:01.230 --> 00:33:04.450
your turn. All right. Again, we're swinging that

00:33:04.450 --> 00:33:06.890
axe. Swinging long and swinging hard. Swinging

00:33:06.890 --> 00:33:09.910
long, swinging hard, swinging for kill. A nat

00:33:09.910 --> 00:33:15.309
20! With a critical hit, it is nigh on impossible

00:33:15.309 --> 00:33:18.500
for you to not kill him, but... Let's get that

00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.640
roll in anyway. Let's see how well you... So

00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:23.720
it's 2d12 plus... It's 2d12. It's 2d12. Plus

00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:29.259
4. Plus 4. 12. 12 plus... No, it's 8 plus 4.

00:33:29.299 --> 00:33:33.680
Yes, I know. 12 plus... 10. No, no, no. You get

00:33:33.680 --> 00:33:37.099
the plus 4 once. Oh, so 18 damage right there.

00:33:37.299 --> 00:33:40.720
Oh, no, 16 damage. 16 damage. Yeah. No way. 12

00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:45.660
plus 6 is 18. Yeah. So you actually... Killed

00:33:45.660 --> 00:33:48.319
him in such a fashion that even if there was

00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:50.960
a healer around, they couldn't bring him back.

00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:56.299
And here's how it happened. Okay. Since he was

00:33:56.299 --> 00:33:59.180
facing Turkey. Yes, he did turn toward Turkey.

00:33:59.299 --> 00:34:02.039
And I'm in rage mode and berserk. He's berserk.

00:34:02.039 --> 00:34:05.839
I turned my axe around to the blunt end and I

00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:09.940
swung it so hard that when I hit him in the back

00:34:09.940 --> 00:34:13.489
of the head. His skull flew out from the front

00:34:13.489 --> 00:34:17.090
of his face. Whoa, you broke it. Is this like

00:34:17.090 --> 00:34:21.909
some sort of dwarven barbarian special ritual?

00:34:22.030 --> 00:34:25.690
Because you reverse ruptured his skull skin.

00:34:25.989 --> 00:34:28.349
Yeah, yeah. I hit him in the back of the head

00:34:28.349 --> 00:34:32.429
so hard. It severed. The force severed the spinal

00:34:32.429 --> 00:34:34.949
column in the neck, the head from the spinal

00:34:34.949 --> 00:34:39.360
column, and just soared it through. the flesh

00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:42.840
and the muscle that was his face. So all that

00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:45.679
is left is a whole, like, the whole, like, have

00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:47.119
you ever seen the horror movies that you see

00:34:47.119 --> 00:34:49.199
when somebody, like, is missing? Like, they show,

00:34:49.300 --> 00:34:50.639
like, somebody's skull getting ripped out of

00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.639
the face, looks all droopy, and, like, it's just

00:34:53.639 --> 00:34:55.780
meat hanging down, or, like, they're missing

00:34:55.780 --> 00:34:57.659
the front of their skull or something like that.

00:34:57.739 --> 00:35:00.300
It's just meat hanging down. That's what it looks

00:35:00.300 --> 00:35:03.059
like, except there's those, like, shredded, it's

00:35:03.059 --> 00:35:06.639
a shredded hole of meat with the skull just...

00:35:06.909 --> 00:35:09.070
playfully skipping across the ground because

00:35:09.070 --> 00:35:11.150
I hate it so hard. This is why you should have

00:35:11.150 --> 00:35:15.409
stayed in church. All that metal music's got

00:35:15.409 --> 00:35:21.670
you just riled up. But fine. Boss Goblin is dead.

00:35:21.969 --> 00:35:26.590
Oh, it is very dead. And I go to claim what I

00:35:26.590 --> 00:35:30.530
came for. Okay, well, first, as Gitzog's corpse

00:35:30.530 --> 00:35:34.289
falls, Turkey standing nearby, but having had

00:35:34.289 --> 00:35:38.019
no success this round. looks at the corpse of

00:35:38.019 --> 00:35:40.860
Gitzong, and then looks back up at you. Do you

00:35:40.860 --> 00:35:44.980
allow Turkey to also dine on this goblin, or

00:35:44.980 --> 00:35:47.619
do you claim this goblin as your own? You don't

00:35:47.619 --> 00:35:49.920
have to eat it. Turkey, I've got something better

00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:52.179
in store for you. If you want to eat this goblin,

00:35:52.179 --> 00:35:55.280
you may, but once I go and fetch that skull over

00:35:55.280 --> 00:35:57.599
there, there's a nice little treat inside for

00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:00.139
you that you can have. Are you going to give

00:36:00.139 --> 00:36:02.880
him some brain? Yep. Turkey's going to get some

00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:06.579
goblin brain. cool i think this means if turkey's

00:36:06.579 --> 00:36:08.679
gonna stick around turkey gotta level up hell

00:36:08.679 --> 00:36:11.340
yeah level that bitch up uh like a monster really

00:36:11.340 --> 00:36:13.699
can't get leveled up but i'll figure out a cool

00:36:13.699 --> 00:36:16.400
well you know what i think i think this is my

00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:18.900
party from until from now on in perpetuity like

00:36:18.900 --> 00:36:21.340
i think even when we break even if even when

00:36:21.340 --> 00:36:23.340
the caravan's like i think turkey comes with

00:36:23.340 --> 00:36:25.610
me even after i'm done with this quest yeah i

00:36:25.610 --> 00:36:27.469
think what i think what's gonna end up happening

00:36:27.469 --> 00:36:29.769
here is i'm gonna figure out like a little like

00:36:29.769 --> 00:36:33.030
a almost like a talent tree thing for turkey

00:36:33.030 --> 00:36:35.409
and i think i'm gonna let you pick like little

00:36:35.409 --> 00:36:37.909
abilities for turkey at some point also you might

00:36:37.909 --> 00:36:40.110
end up seeing cali cali didn't show up for this

00:36:40.110 --> 00:36:43.679
one nope but i will say i think If you look out

00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:47.380
into the edge of the woods, you do see a set

00:36:47.380 --> 00:36:50.480
of eyes peering at you in what may seem like

00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:53.619
approval of your hunting. And then the eyes disappear.

00:36:54.039 --> 00:36:58.800
Yeah. Oh, by the way. Ow. Yeah, you're going

00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:01.940
to want to set up camp here. Yeah. All right.

00:37:01.980 --> 00:37:05.900
So I'm going to say you can give them the goblin

00:37:05.900 --> 00:37:09.739
stew. Goblin brain stew. The corpses are over

00:37:09.739 --> 00:37:13.179
here. I'm going to say turkey is nestled, nested

00:37:13.179 --> 00:37:15.880
up over here. Eating the corpses. And then if

00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:18.659
the two of you, and you could have done whatever

00:37:18.659 --> 00:37:21.400
you wanted with the skull, made your sweet skull

00:37:21.400 --> 00:37:23.800
trophy. But I still had to clean out the brains

00:37:23.800 --> 00:37:26.780
for a treat for turkey. And if you want to make

00:37:26.780 --> 00:37:28.940
sure you write these two down, what do you take

00:37:28.940 --> 00:37:31.559
from Wheezy? What did he have on him besides

00:37:31.559 --> 00:37:35.139
his bow? He had the crossbow and just, you know,

00:37:35.139 --> 00:37:38.079
tattered clothing and whatnot. Leave it. I will

00:37:38.079 --> 00:37:42.340
say I will grant you one health potion. Now,

00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:44.079
I'm going to tell you, you don't want to drink

00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:45.860
that now because you're going to get a long rest

00:37:45.860 --> 00:37:48.079
again. Yeah. So we're going to heal you up that

00:37:48.079 --> 00:37:49.840
way. But I'm going to give you a health potion,

00:37:49.960 --> 00:37:53.199
partially because Wheezy was in such a predicament

00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:56.000
and got killed so quickly. They did not have

00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:59.400
a chance to try to use it. And that is your sweet

00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:01.400
little reward. Alright, I get that from his body.

00:38:01.820 --> 00:38:04.920
What's left? Oh, you've got your teeth. Unless

00:38:04.920 --> 00:38:07.739
you want the whole bottom half of the skull.

00:38:07.900 --> 00:38:10.699
Oh, I'm taking the whole skull. Okay, skull with

00:38:10.699 --> 00:38:14.860
teeth. I'll say that you did some sort of thatching

00:38:14.860 --> 00:38:18.119
to keep those teeth connected to the skull. Yeah.

00:38:18.360 --> 00:38:20.760
Post -mortem. Maybe you leave the rest of the

00:38:20.760 --> 00:38:23.260
teeth and just take. The big chomper in the front?

00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:26.360
Yeah, but I want the whole skull. Yeah. Skull

00:38:26.360 --> 00:38:30.340
and teeth. Big chomper. Well, that was a great

00:38:30.340 --> 00:38:33.820
battle. Hey, Lyra. What's that, Poocher Man?

00:38:33.900 --> 00:38:38.980
I did kind of embarrassing. I need you to patch

00:38:38.980 --> 00:38:41.800
me up. You saw where that first arrow went, right?

00:38:42.119 --> 00:38:46.179
I didn't actually see. I was behind you. Ah,

00:38:46.519 --> 00:38:53.650
well. I'm bleeding from the taint, if you wouldn't

00:38:53.650 --> 00:38:58.409
mind helping. Oh, my word. I'm going to bleed

00:38:58.409 --> 00:39:01.949
out if you don't help. She grows slightly faint,

00:39:02.050 --> 00:39:05.690
but you see her put on... She pulls out what

00:39:05.690 --> 00:39:09.230
appears to be a handkerchief that somebody will

00:39:09.230 --> 00:39:12.079
wear if they're robbing a bank. Yeah. She pulls

00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:15.119
out one of those and puts it across her mouth

00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:18.599
and nose. Okay, I can understand that. And then

00:39:18.599 --> 00:39:22.300
she starts to peel out your grundle from your

00:39:22.300 --> 00:39:26.599
armor. Thank you, Owl. Thank you, Owl. Owl. She

00:39:26.599 --> 00:39:30.719
asks you as she's working, tell me, Pucciarelli,

00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:34.019
what color was your favorite rock in the dwarf

00:39:34.019 --> 00:39:37.780
hole you lived in? Uh, well, I guess black. As

00:39:37.780 --> 00:39:40.420
you're saying that, you feel a rip and a tear

00:39:40.420 --> 00:39:43.519
as she pulls out the rest of the bolt. Ah, the

00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:46.980
fucker! Thank you. And then she patches you down

00:39:46.980 --> 00:39:49.519
and is like, black rock? That sounds nice. Did

00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:53.119
you name it? No. Okay. I will say that asking

00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:56.059
a dwarf about his rocks is sort of like a...

00:39:56.059 --> 00:39:59.039
Taboo. A stereotype, I'll just say. But you fed

00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:00.480
into it and it's fine, but you were injured.

00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:04.849
You needed help. Exactly. Uh, so? Thank you.

00:40:05.369 --> 00:40:07.289
Yeah, she gets you healed up. I'm going to say

00:40:07.289 --> 00:40:10.889
this is like super long rest. So I'm back to

00:40:10.889 --> 00:40:12.449
full. And I'm going to say, yeah, everybody's

00:40:12.449 --> 00:40:14.909
back to full. Oh, thank you. And I'm going to

00:40:14.909 --> 00:40:16.929
give you back all of your hit dice because we're

00:40:16.929 --> 00:40:20.920
not going to go into any of that. And. So you

00:40:20.920 --> 00:40:23.659
have, as the stage is set, you have a little

00:40:23.659 --> 00:40:26.880
campfire. Remember, we burnt, we were lighting

00:40:26.880 --> 00:40:29.019
the whole thing on fire. Yeah. Well, yeah. Okay.

00:40:29.079 --> 00:40:31.500
So then your fire, you're sitting around as a

00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:34.579
bonfire. Yep. Here with that. And we've still

00:40:34.579 --> 00:40:37.940
gone about with my plan of strewing the guts

00:40:37.940 --> 00:40:41.309
about to make it so no one else wants to. Try

00:40:41.309 --> 00:40:43.710
to come into this area. If you please. I mean,

00:40:43.710 --> 00:40:46.110
that might attract predators, but... But I made

00:40:46.110 --> 00:40:48.210
friends with Callie, so I mean... Yeah, Callie

00:40:48.210 --> 00:40:49.829
could be on the hunt around you. She's going

00:40:49.829 --> 00:40:51.469
to tell all the rest of the... Yeah, the whole

00:40:51.469 --> 00:40:52.449
rest of the... She's going to tell the rest of

00:40:52.449 --> 00:40:53.909
the wolves, hey, he's cool. Yeah, but I mean,

00:40:53.909 --> 00:40:55.710
there could be like a beholder out there or something.

00:40:55.789 --> 00:40:58.010
You don't know. True. All right, well, okay.

00:40:58.110 --> 00:41:01.269
So we do not festoon the place with the entrails

00:41:01.269 --> 00:41:03.389
of the fallen. We just let Turkey eat them. All

00:41:03.389 --> 00:41:05.550
right. So as you're sitting across from the fire...

00:41:05.550 --> 00:41:08.550
Yeah. Sitting there and relaxing. Trying to with

00:41:08.550 --> 00:41:11.519
how much it hurts to sit. You see her ruminating

00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:14.960
over that piece of ripped cloth that you guys

00:41:14.960 --> 00:41:17.739
saw earlier. With a symbol? Yeah. She's just

00:41:17.739 --> 00:41:20.320
kind of holding it and staring. Sort of wistful.

00:41:20.619 --> 00:41:22.880
Alright, I think enough time has passed. Do you

00:41:22.880 --> 00:41:25.320
mind telling me what this is all about and what

00:41:25.320 --> 00:41:28.340
that is all about? Well, there's someone that

00:41:28.340 --> 00:41:31.820
I used to know. Okay. And... We've all known

00:41:31.820 --> 00:41:34.300
somebody at some point in time. I'm wondering

00:41:34.300 --> 00:41:37.760
if what's happening here could have something

00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:41.579
to do with him. Is it just... one him, or does

00:41:41.579 --> 00:41:45.579
he have a group? Does... It's a man with a group.

00:41:45.860 --> 00:41:48.019
Are these just men, or do we have to worry about

00:41:48.019 --> 00:41:53.000
other things? Well, what has me worried... Oh,

00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:55.880
I can tell you what has me worried. What I can

00:41:55.880 --> 00:42:00.780
tell you that has me worried is that I know that

00:42:00.780 --> 00:42:04.659
he had goblins that worked for him. You think

00:42:04.659 --> 00:42:07.909
we just killed his boys. Somebody connected with

00:42:07.909 --> 00:42:10.610
them, maybe. I mean, to be fair, they weren't

00:42:10.610 --> 00:42:13.989
that bright. No, he does like to find people

00:42:13.989 --> 00:42:17.289
that are easily controlled. That's actually why

00:42:17.289 --> 00:42:20.210
I came into this area, because I was looking

00:42:20.210 --> 00:42:23.349
for... Well, this group of goblins sounded like

00:42:23.349 --> 00:42:25.230
one of the groups that he might have been working

00:42:25.230 --> 00:42:28.150
with, and I was trying to suss out if they were

00:42:28.150 --> 00:42:31.159
here, and it seems that they are. Alright. That

00:42:31.159 --> 00:42:33.719
explains one thing. What I don't understand is

00:42:33.719 --> 00:42:35.840
why none of your old partners ever came back

00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:38.280
with you. Well, these woods are dangerous, Bucciarelli.

00:42:38.420 --> 00:42:44.579
You, I went down once. You almost went down a

00:42:44.579 --> 00:42:48.639
few times. Lucky shots. Lucky shots. Lucky shot

00:42:48.639 --> 00:42:51.900
in the grundle. Oh, yeah. We've all taken one

00:42:51.900 --> 00:42:54.199
now and again. We know there are wolves out here

00:42:54.199 --> 00:42:57.239
because I've befriended one. Oh, you did? Yes.

00:42:57.500 --> 00:42:59.199
You never said anything about that. I didn't

00:42:59.199 --> 00:43:01.119
think it was important at the time. We were in

00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:02.980
the heat of battle. And for the most part, while

00:43:02.980 --> 00:43:04.880
you were awake, I've been sleeping while you

00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:06.860
were sleeping. I've been awake, so... Yes. I

00:43:06.860 --> 00:43:09.800
befriended a wolf out here, and now we have good

00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:12.380
old Turkey, who seems to have, you know, become

00:43:12.380 --> 00:43:15.480
very fond of the both of us. Me especially. Nothing

00:43:15.480 --> 00:43:17.800
against you. But you are holding a bird, and

00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:22.840
that technically counts as food. Right. She says

00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:25.420
that she's... Finished plucking the feathers

00:43:25.420 --> 00:43:28.960
from Shotbird. Yes! And now is putting it onto

00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:33.940
the spit for the eating. Yes. She allows you...

00:43:33.940 --> 00:43:35.440
Glad we cleaned all the seasoning out of here.

00:43:36.340 --> 00:43:42.000
As the Shotbird finishes cooking, Lyra offers

00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:47.900
to you first choice at which part you like. Will

00:43:47.900 --> 00:43:50.969
he go for the breast? The most juicy and succulent

00:43:50.969 --> 00:43:53.670
portion? Or will he go for the nice handheld

00:43:53.670 --> 00:43:57.750
thigh? Maybe, maybe the leg. How about this,

00:43:57.750 --> 00:43:59.570
Lyra? We both have fought hard. How about we

00:43:59.570 --> 00:44:01.829
spatchcock this thing? I forget what that means.

00:44:01.909 --> 00:44:03.869
Splitting it evenly straight down the middle

00:44:03.869 --> 00:44:06.530
so we each get half a breast. Aww. Each get a

00:44:06.530 --> 00:44:09.510
wing, each get a thigh. It's like she's... You've

00:44:09.510 --> 00:44:11.289
held your own. You've proven that you can hold

00:44:11.289 --> 00:44:13.210
your own in a fierce, bloody battle, even though

00:44:13.210 --> 00:44:15.989
it seems to... My vernacular doesn't seem to

00:44:15.989 --> 00:44:18.869
sit right with you in the midst of said battle.

00:44:19.210 --> 00:44:21.369
I was a bit shocked, Pucciarelli. I was a bit

00:44:21.369 --> 00:44:23.869
shocked. Hey, it's all about shock value. If

00:44:23.869 --> 00:44:26.030
you can get them off their game, a fight is much

00:44:26.030 --> 00:44:28.369
easier to win. It's not cheating. That's how

00:44:28.369 --> 00:44:31.090
some of my enchantments work. Exactly. While

00:44:31.090 --> 00:44:35.789
yours enchant and yours sway the mind, mine just

00:44:35.789 --> 00:44:40.530
terrify people. And sway the blood. Yes. Okay.

00:44:40.570 --> 00:44:44.070
So as you eat your sweet bird meat and Turkey

00:44:44.070 --> 00:44:48.280
eats their sweet goblin meat. Ooh, Turkey. Ah,

00:44:48.360 --> 00:44:50.920
what do you present? Cooked goblin brains. Oh,

00:44:51.340 --> 00:44:53.800
you saved a little bit of brain? Oh, well, no.

00:44:54.039 --> 00:44:57.079
Remember, you gave Turkey the brain. Oh, yeah.

00:44:57.300 --> 00:44:58.980
Yeah, I saved a little bit of the goblin brain

00:44:58.980 --> 00:45:00.699
to cook, see if she liked it cooked or raw. See

00:45:00.699 --> 00:45:02.280
which one she liked better. Here you go. Cooked

00:45:02.280 --> 00:45:04.480
goblin brain. I think they preferred squishy.

00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:06.760
Oh, okay. She still eats it though, right? Yeah.

00:45:06.840 --> 00:45:09.219
Okay, good. This bird is a very hungry bird.

00:45:09.340 --> 00:45:11.780
I mean, I will say they've eaten quite a lot

00:45:11.780 --> 00:45:14.559
of goblins today. Yes, they have. Hopefully it

00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:18.019
doesn't become an addiction. Yeah. Axe beaks

00:45:18.019 --> 00:45:20.719
are rather large, if I will say. Well, they're

00:45:20.719 --> 00:45:24.659
literally in the large class. Large beast. It

00:45:24.659 --> 00:45:27.340
says large beast unaligned. I would say now they're

00:45:27.340 --> 00:45:30.380
aligned. Oh, yeah. With Pucharelli. All right.

00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:32.360
Is there anything else that you would want to

00:45:32.360 --> 00:45:35.539
bring up by the bonfire? Oh, I... You know, obviously

00:45:35.539 --> 00:45:38.000
our friend Marlow seems to be a bit slow when

00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:40.039
I was asking him about certain things that happen

00:45:40.039 --> 00:45:42.539
in this area, and I wanted to know about certain

00:45:42.539 --> 00:45:44.940
things coinciding with the full moon, and he

00:45:44.940 --> 00:45:46.900
seemed to make a joke about a woman's time of

00:45:46.900 --> 00:45:50.699
the month, which got under my skin. What I was

00:45:50.699 --> 00:45:52.980
trying to get him to answer me without saying

00:45:52.980 --> 00:45:55.300
it in a public area, but now since we're out

00:45:55.300 --> 00:45:56.860
here and it's just the two of us, I didn't want

00:45:56.860 --> 00:45:59.739
to throw the word lycanthrope around. Are we

00:45:59.739 --> 00:46:03.730
under any potential threat from werewolves? if

00:46:03.730 --> 00:46:05.929
this coincides with a full moon. I don't think

00:46:05.929 --> 00:46:08.590
a werewolf has been spotted in this area for

00:46:08.590 --> 00:46:12.289
decades. I think since, oh, since that one saint

00:46:12.289 --> 00:46:15.550
drove them out of the area. I can't remember

00:46:15.550 --> 00:46:18.670
his name. I was never much for history. I hope

00:46:18.670 --> 00:46:21.570
you're right, because Kali's pack leader is a

00:46:21.570 --> 00:46:25.110
very rather large dire wolf. Yeah, dire wolf

00:46:25.110 --> 00:46:27.489
could just mean dire wolf. It is possible. It

00:46:27.489 --> 00:46:29.809
is possible, yes, but this, I've seen my fair

00:46:29.809 --> 00:46:33.059
share of dire wolves, and this is bigger. than

00:46:33.059 --> 00:46:35.880
your average dire wolf. Just wanting to, one,

00:46:35.980 --> 00:46:38.559
keep you on your toes. So hopefully Callie, by

00:46:38.559 --> 00:46:40.079
the way, I named her Callie. That is my wolf

00:46:40.079 --> 00:46:43.460
companion. Hopefully she has registered with

00:46:43.460 --> 00:46:47.119
her pack that we're cool, that we're good, that

00:46:47.119 --> 00:46:50.699
we are not threats, nor are we food. Okay. So

00:46:50.699 --> 00:46:54.579
after saying that, I will say Lyra goes to the

00:46:54.579 --> 00:46:59.500
fire, dries out some sweet morsels of the meat.

00:46:59.960 --> 00:47:01.619
puts them in a little pouch, and then throws

00:47:01.619 --> 00:47:04.099
them to you and says, next time for Callie, next

00:47:04.099 --> 00:47:06.099
time you see her. Oh, thank you very much. This

00:47:06.099 --> 00:47:09.659
will be nice. Yeah, and then she... Monkers down

00:47:09.659 --> 00:47:12.280
from bed. I think she's actually going to pass

00:47:12.280 --> 00:47:16.460
by you and sleep on the opposite side of where

00:47:16.460 --> 00:47:18.619
the bodies are. And I'm going to stay up and

00:47:18.619 --> 00:47:21.159
just keep watch. Okay. I have to. So you are

00:47:21.159 --> 00:47:25.280
up in the area. Yep. What do you do? I, well,

00:47:25.420 --> 00:47:27.699
smoke a smoke stick. Smoke a smoke stick? Okay.

00:47:28.110 --> 00:47:30.190
I'm going to eat a meat stick. All right. And

00:47:30.190 --> 00:47:32.210
I'm just going to keep... I'm going to do my

00:47:32.210 --> 00:47:34.690
best to keep my mind clear so I have a better

00:47:34.690 --> 00:47:37.730
chance at hearing something approaching. Okay.

00:47:37.829 --> 00:47:40.469
I want to be as quiet as humanly possible. I'm

00:47:40.469 --> 00:47:43.530
going to be super nice to you here. Okay. And

00:47:43.530 --> 00:47:46.510
I'm going to say that Callie comes up. Yay, puppy!

00:47:46.710 --> 00:47:50.420
So, Callie comes up to this... I wish I had a...

00:47:50.420 --> 00:47:53.380
Well, I'll use this percentile to die. So that's

00:47:53.380 --> 00:47:55.840
Callie. Yay. They're a 70. I would assume you

00:47:55.840 --> 00:47:59.179
walk over. Yes. And what you notice, Callie is

00:47:59.179 --> 00:48:02.159
inspecting the area in which you did battle with

00:48:02.159 --> 00:48:04.699
Gitzog. Yep. You give her little scritches, I

00:48:04.699 --> 00:48:06.239
would assume. Oh, yeah. She definitely gets the

00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:09.840
scritches and the pats. And as she is sniffing

00:48:09.840 --> 00:48:13.820
the area, you see something on the ground that

00:48:13.820 --> 00:48:17.440
Callie has found. Oh. And... When you see it,

00:48:17.460 --> 00:48:21.719
you notice that it looks like the manifest that

00:48:21.719 --> 00:48:25.760
had been in the caravan that Lyra was looking

00:48:25.760 --> 00:48:29.820
at. Okay. You'll recall when you said your skull

00:48:29.820 --> 00:48:34.650
-fucking introduction. She seemed perturbed,

00:48:34.650 --> 00:48:37.449
and it seems like she reacted in a way. Yeah.

00:48:37.570 --> 00:48:39.630
As dungeon master, I did not know how else to

00:48:39.630 --> 00:48:41.530
express it, but I said that she may have dropped

00:48:41.530 --> 00:48:43.829
something. You thought it was her loot, but she

00:48:43.829 --> 00:48:46.090
had a strong hold on her loot. What had fallen

00:48:46.090 --> 00:48:50.099
out of her pocket was the manifest. Now, this

00:48:50.099 --> 00:48:53.360
is outside of the actual canon that you're seeing.

00:48:53.619 --> 00:48:55.780
I'm going to hand you two things, but it's actually

00:48:55.780 --> 00:48:59.659
just one thing. I wrote it out in cursive, and

00:48:59.659 --> 00:49:01.900
then parts of it were kind of hard to read, and

00:49:01.900 --> 00:49:04.340
it didn't have the bottom thing on it. So it

00:49:04.340 --> 00:49:07.559
looks like this. But this is your translation

00:49:07.559 --> 00:49:10.179
of what's on it. Ah, okay. So this is what you

00:49:10.179 --> 00:49:13.019
see first, and then the bottom part is the translation

00:49:13.019 --> 00:49:15.059
for it. But it's all one thing. Okay, yep, I

00:49:15.059 --> 00:49:17.579
got you. So out of her pocket, this is what fell.

00:49:17.719 --> 00:49:21.500
It is a piece of a parchment, what seems to be

00:49:21.500 --> 00:49:24.960
a letter. And, Michael, could you read off, could

00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:27.519
Pucciarelli, in his mind, read off what it says?

00:49:27.840 --> 00:49:31.300
As a right scoundrel, that mean I hope you found

00:49:31.300 --> 00:49:35.619
the artifact, the out among our friend. or you're

00:49:35.619 --> 00:49:38.300
out among your travels, that commands loyalty.

00:49:38.760 --> 00:49:43.079
There is a betrayer among you. And who wrote

00:49:43.079 --> 00:49:47.019
that letter? Looks like it says Bruce. Bruce.

00:49:47.559 --> 00:49:49.699
I'll give you the hint that you haven't met or

00:49:49.699 --> 00:49:51.699
seen or heard of a Bruce yet. So that is a new

00:49:51.699 --> 00:49:56.739
name to you. What an odd name. Yes. So what you

00:49:56.739 --> 00:50:00.820
now realize is that she lied about what that

00:50:00.820 --> 00:50:03.559
said. She said it was a manifest and she put

00:50:03.559 --> 00:50:05.869
it in her pocket. This is a warning. But she

00:50:05.869 --> 00:50:09.050
dropped it. It is a warning from a man named

00:50:09.050 --> 00:50:12.690
Bruce. So it mentions an artifact and it mentions

00:50:12.690 --> 00:50:18.750
a betrayer from Bruce. Am I stealthy enough to

00:50:18.750 --> 00:50:21.469
get this back on her person without her noticing?

00:50:21.730 --> 00:50:23.989
Well, I mean, it dropped there. So you do also

00:50:23.989 --> 00:50:26.389
have the capability to just put it back where

00:50:26.389 --> 00:50:28.769
it came from and just bygones bygones because

00:50:28.769 --> 00:50:30.969
you don't have it either. But you could try that.

00:50:32.090 --> 00:50:34.059
No, I'm just going to... put it back where I

00:50:34.059 --> 00:50:36.960
found it. I give Callie the dried meat that Lyra

00:50:36.960 --> 00:50:39.480
gave for being a good girl and helping me find

00:50:39.480 --> 00:50:42.519
this. This goes back to where it fell, and I

00:50:42.519 --> 00:50:44.159
have to make it look like I didn't move at all

00:50:44.159 --> 00:50:47.599
last night. Well, you hadn't gone to sleep. Well,

00:50:47.619 --> 00:50:49.239
exactly, yeah. I have to make it look like I

00:50:49.239 --> 00:50:51.000
sat there in the same fucking position. Okay,

00:50:51.059 --> 00:50:54.780
so that is what I will ask. With Callie here,

00:50:54.960 --> 00:50:57.800
will you maybe try to get some sleep, or will

00:50:57.800 --> 00:50:59.960
you just stay up? It depends on how long Callie

00:50:59.960 --> 00:51:03.409
wants to stay. Callie sits by the fire, sits

00:51:03.409 --> 00:51:07.110
next to you, and does look to be alert, and she's

00:51:07.110 --> 00:51:10.010
kind of staring out the way she came. All right.

00:51:10.730 --> 00:51:14.650
I look at Callie. I just nod. I give her the

00:51:14.650 --> 00:51:16.610
nod. She gives you the nuzzle. And I'm going

00:51:16.610 --> 00:51:19.789
to lay down and get some rest. I got an axe beak

00:51:19.789 --> 00:51:23.429
who's still eating. Yeah. They haven't stopped

00:51:23.429 --> 00:51:25.829
eating. And then I have a wolf. I have two animals

00:51:25.829 --> 00:51:29.309
here that are extremely loyal to me that if anything

00:51:29.309 --> 00:51:32.329
is going to come within any perimeter of me,

00:51:32.389 --> 00:51:35.949
that I will know. And if I don't know, then that

00:51:35.949 --> 00:51:38.070
means that the animals did what the animals did

00:51:38.070 --> 00:51:40.909
and fucked them up. Okay. So I'll just have you

00:51:40.909 --> 00:51:44.349
do one last thing for me. All right. Roll a D20.

00:51:44.530 --> 00:51:47.230
Am I adding anything to this? No. This is a straight

00:51:47.230 --> 00:51:53.659
20 roll. Two. Okay, so when you wake up in the

00:51:53.659 --> 00:51:58.179
morning. I've shat my pants. Lyra is up making

00:51:58.179 --> 00:52:01.420
breakfast. Turkey has finally passed out from

00:52:01.420 --> 00:52:03.860
eating too much. Full of goblin meat. Callie

00:52:03.860 --> 00:52:06.880
is gone. By the way, how much goblin is still

00:52:06.880 --> 00:52:10.139
left there? Okay, I'm going to say. Is there

00:52:10.139 --> 00:52:11.940
enough to bring back with us or do we need a

00:52:11.940 --> 00:52:16.159
dog? No, turkey does not like neck meat. So there

00:52:16.159 --> 00:52:20.300
is like neck meat and fingers and toes. Bodies

00:52:20.300 --> 00:52:23.840
are gone. Pretty much. Bones and all? Yeah, well,

00:52:23.880 --> 00:52:25.980
the bones have been cracked and splintered. Oh,

00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:27.400
she sucked the marrow from them. Yeah, marrow's

00:52:27.400 --> 00:52:30.219
delicious. That's great. Wow. Okay, turkey. See,

00:52:30.280 --> 00:52:33.000
she knows. She got the itis. They know they have

00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:35.960
hollow bones, so they see marrow as a sweet treat.

00:52:36.059 --> 00:52:37.679
Ah, yes. Something their body doesn't even produce.

00:52:37.960 --> 00:52:40.380
I think. I think birds don't. Because birds have

00:52:40.380 --> 00:52:42.380
hollow bones, but does that mean they don't have

00:52:42.380 --> 00:52:45.539
any marrow as well? I think so. Yeah. We'll say

00:52:45.539 --> 00:52:46.800
that. I mean, maybe there's a little marrow in

00:52:46.800 --> 00:52:49.099
there, but she likes marrow. They like marrow.

00:52:49.309 --> 00:52:52.389
Callie is gone. There is no apparent disturbance

00:52:52.389 --> 00:52:55.690
to the camp. Nothing is awry, except what your

00:52:55.690 --> 00:52:59.789
role tells me is that next to you, Callie left

00:52:59.789 --> 00:53:06.489
really big, honking, stinkum, right next to you.

00:53:06.630 --> 00:53:10.769
And afterwards, you will notice that the bodies

00:53:10.769 --> 00:53:13.570
over there, it looks like Callie was teaching.

00:53:14.170 --> 00:53:16.670
turkey how to get to the marrow because callie

00:53:16.670 --> 00:53:18.969
also got a treat then there we go okay at least

00:53:18.969 --> 00:53:21.030
she got a treat out of it but then left you a

00:53:21.030 --> 00:53:25.670
honking stinkum pile that you you have you have

00:53:25.670 --> 00:53:29.409
taken off your boots when you when putrelli sleeps

00:53:29.409 --> 00:53:32.010
do they uh or are they wearing socks and if so

00:53:32.010 --> 00:53:35.210
do they take them off in bed uh i mean if he's

00:53:35.210 --> 00:53:36.650
anything like me he doesn't sleep with socks

00:53:36.650 --> 00:53:40.519
on Okay, so then you go barefoot into the doggy

00:53:40.519 --> 00:53:45.599
doo -doo. Well, it can wash off. I don't blame

00:53:45.599 --> 00:53:49.159
her for it. Lyra says good morning to you, and

00:53:49.159 --> 00:53:53.460
that is where we'll end it. It was close for

00:53:53.460 --> 00:53:56.420
me. Yeah, you were down to... It got close. That

00:53:56.420 --> 00:53:58.900
was the magnificent thing, is that both you and

00:53:58.900 --> 00:54:02.400
Gitzog were at 1 HP. We both were. Yeah. And

00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:04.280
then I end up doing 18 damage. And then you did

00:54:04.280 --> 00:54:08.780
18 damage, which is more... Remember I told you

00:54:08.780 --> 00:54:10.780
before, like, it was more than the amount of

00:54:10.780 --> 00:54:13.260
health they had. Yeah. Because they had 16 health.

00:54:13.500 --> 00:54:17.210
Yeah. So you did enough that you put them past

00:54:17.210 --> 00:54:20.070
the capability of being normally resurrected.

00:54:20.389 --> 00:54:25.150
They went straight past swoon, straight past

00:54:25.150 --> 00:54:29.079
incapacitated into death. Like, missing all their

00:54:29.079 --> 00:54:31.000
death -saving things. Oh, I wonder what his final

00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:33.920
thoughts were as my hand... Probably of Ohio.

00:54:34.199 --> 00:54:36.940
As the back of my... As the back of my axe connected

00:54:36.940 --> 00:54:39.920
with the back of his skull. And then his skull

00:54:39.920 --> 00:54:42.039
was just gone. Well, yeah. Well, I mean, his

00:54:42.039 --> 00:54:44.460
brain was still intact, so as it was skipping

00:54:44.460 --> 00:54:47.139
across the ground... He might have felt some

00:54:47.139 --> 00:54:48.760
things. Yeah, he might have felt some things.

00:54:48.760 --> 00:54:50.500
And then when Turkey ate his brain, he gained

00:54:50.500 --> 00:54:52.840
a level. They gained a level. Yeah, turkey level

00:54:52.840 --> 00:54:54.980
two. And like I said, yeah, I actually, I think

00:54:54.980 --> 00:54:56.699
I'm going to, I'm probably going to keep like

00:54:56.699 --> 00:54:58.800
basically the same stat blocks, but I think it's

00:54:58.800 --> 00:55:01.219
going to be super fun. I'm going to let both

00:55:01.219 --> 00:55:03.400
of your, I think I'm going to make a little skill

00:55:03.400 --> 00:55:06.059
tree that I might share on the Windbreaker Media

00:55:06.059 --> 00:55:08.300
Facebook page and stuff like that. Hell yeah.

00:55:08.420 --> 00:55:10.360
I think I'm going to make a little skill tree

00:55:10.360 --> 00:55:12.239
for them to follow on and I'm going to give you

00:55:12.239 --> 00:55:15.119
choices. Okay. I'm going to let, also I should

00:55:15.119 --> 00:55:18.300
say, next session, both you. Both Pucciarelli

00:55:18.300 --> 00:55:21.119
and Lyra will level up as well. Yeah! So I'm

00:55:21.119 --> 00:55:24.019
going to let you choose the first of your, well,

00:55:24.199 --> 00:55:26.599
Turkey's abilities for sure. Kali is going to

00:55:26.599 --> 00:55:29.260
get something, but Kali hasn't specifically joined

00:55:29.260 --> 00:55:31.940
you in battle yet. So that'll come later. Yeah.

00:55:31.940 --> 00:55:36.210
But Turkey is definitely gaining a skill. something

00:55:36.210 --> 00:55:37.909
that you can do with them. I want to know how

00:55:37.909 --> 00:55:39.710
Marlo... I can't wait to see what Marlo's reaction

00:55:39.710 --> 00:55:41.730
to this is all going to be. You have been gone

00:55:41.730 --> 00:55:45.809
a while, so Marlo is probably hunkered down like

00:55:45.809 --> 00:55:48.869
it's the end of days, waiting for you guys to

00:55:48.869 --> 00:55:50.929
come back. No, what I mean is, what is he going

00:55:50.929 --> 00:55:53.829
to feel that I, one, not only brought the axe

00:55:53.829 --> 00:55:57.210
beak back, but two, have tamed it in such a way

00:55:57.210 --> 00:55:59.429
that now it is loyal to me. Yeah, you may have

00:55:59.429 --> 00:56:01.929
just stolen his... He might be pissed off about

00:56:01.929 --> 00:56:03.949
that. Yeah, we'll see. You better not cut my

00:56:03.949 --> 00:56:06.170
fucking pay. Yeah, we'll see how everything goes.

00:56:06.210 --> 00:56:07.989
You're going to have to pay a pet fee. Sweet,

00:56:08.030 --> 00:56:10.869
sweet pet fee. But it was his axe beak to begin

00:56:10.869 --> 00:56:13.429
with. Yeah, and you're trying to take it. I wasn't

00:56:13.429 --> 00:56:17.489
trying. I just bonded with it. Pet fee. Oh, well,

00:56:17.550 --> 00:56:19.710
yeah, and then you pay a dowry. I didn't marry

00:56:19.710 --> 00:56:23.469
the fucking thing. That is waiting to be seen.

00:56:24.210 --> 00:56:27.250
Okay, so I will ask, as a bit of a post -show

00:56:27.250 --> 00:56:32.030
thing, what are your thoughts on that piece of

00:56:32.030 --> 00:56:34.679
letter that you found? I'm really starting to

00:56:34.679 --> 00:56:37.699
backtrack with Lyra again. Okay. So what do you

00:56:37.699 --> 00:56:40.400
think that note was about? The fact that her

00:56:40.400 --> 00:56:43.699
partners never return and she's always finding

00:56:43.699 --> 00:56:47.360
a new partner. And no one has a real explanation.

00:56:47.980 --> 00:56:50.599
Everybody just said... Marlow seems to like her.

00:56:50.840 --> 00:56:52.699
Marlow likes her, but he also... And she had

00:56:52.699 --> 00:56:55.500
a good reputation at the... At the tavern. At

00:56:55.500 --> 00:56:57.059
the inn, yeah. But yeah, but here's the thing.

00:56:57.179 --> 00:57:00.650
No one asked. Nobody. So you think like she's

00:57:00.650 --> 00:57:02.630
some kind of a black widow. I think she might

00:57:02.630 --> 00:57:04.750
be lying about whose crest that was. I think

00:57:04.750 --> 00:57:08.289
it might be hers. Okay. I think that she's the

00:57:08.289 --> 00:57:11.769
one who might be commanding the goblin hordes.

00:57:12.030 --> 00:57:14.469
All right. So you think she's her own friend

00:57:14.469 --> 00:57:18.130
in that sense? Well, yeah. I mean, how else would

00:57:18.130 --> 00:57:21.449
she have been able to dodge Gitsog with such

00:57:21.449 --> 00:57:25.440
grace when she couldn't even dodge? Wheezy's

00:57:25.440 --> 00:57:27.960
arrow. Yeah, I mean, it's funny, because if you

00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:30.340
can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. If

00:57:30.340 --> 00:57:32.599
you can dodge a charging goblin, you can dodge

00:57:32.599 --> 00:57:35.280
an arrow. Yeah, okay. I don't know. Like I said,

00:57:35.360 --> 00:57:37.659
I'm starting not to, like, the trust, the trust

00:57:37.659 --> 00:57:41.960
was here. Yeah, after the healing and the near

00:57:41.960 --> 00:57:44.139
death that you had to go through there, yeah,

00:57:44.199 --> 00:57:45.980
you sort of were starting to get a bond, and

00:57:45.980 --> 00:57:48.039
now... The trust was here, and now it's... Now

00:57:48.039 --> 00:57:49.760
we're wondering again. Now we're wondering again,

00:57:49.940 --> 00:57:51.980
but like you said, like, I don't know, it's...

00:57:52.170 --> 00:57:54.809
It's a very messed up situation because when

00:57:54.809 --> 00:57:57.949
you think about how they've taken this... Every

00:57:57.949 --> 00:58:01.289
Fortnite that they do this journey... Oh, Fortnite?

00:58:01.909 --> 00:58:03.550
Yeah, you said every Fortnite they make the...

00:58:03.550 --> 00:58:05.889
Oh, no, it takes a Fortnite to make the journey.

00:58:05.989 --> 00:58:08.329
They do this, what, every two, three months?

00:58:09.150 --> 00:58:11.530
You have a good memory. Yeah. You also love talking

00:58:11.530 --> 00:58:14.170
about Fortnite. Yeah, this whole... The trip

00:58:14.170 --> 00:58:16.619
takes a Fortnite. They do it... About once every

00:58:16.619 --> 00:58:18.420
two or three months. I don't know. I don't know

00:58:18.420 --> 00:58:20.719
if it's Lyra that I'm going to be more concerned

00:58:20.719 --> 00:58:25.139
about, or it could be Marlow, too. Okay. Marlow

00:58:25.139 --> 00:58:30.960
is almost unnervingly happy. Ah, so you think

00:58:30.960 --> 00:58:34.519
he's... He's sort of the plant. Yeah, I mean...

00:58:34.519 --> 00:58:37.039
Like, in a storytelling sense, you're thinking

00:58:37.039 --> 00:58:39.480
he's the character that you don't expect, and

00:58:39.480 --> 00:58:40.920
he's the one who comes around to be... Yeah,

00:58:40.920 --> 00:58:43.820
he's the evil bastard in the end. Okay. I mean,

00:58:43.860 --> 00:58:47.900
because we did find one of his old caravan, and

00:58:47.900 --> 00:58:51.179
I plainly asked him, have you ever lost anything?

00:58:51.179 --> 00:58:54.159
And he lied. He told me no. You remember, he

00:58:54.159 --> 00:58:56.179
said, nope, it's been flawed. Like, we've lost

00:58:56.179 --> 00:58:59.039
men, but we've never... They did lose one other

00:58:59.039 --> 00:59:02.300
axe beak. And they did, they lost one axe beak,

00:59:02.340 --> 00:59:05.019
they lost some men, but he never said that they

00:59:05.019 --> 00:59:09.139
lost cargo. Okay. And we found part of an old

00:59:09.139 --> 00:59:12.090
caravan there. It looked similar to the one we

00:59:12.090 --> 00:59:16.250
were with. So why would he lie when I asked him,

00:59:16.289 --> 00:59:18.889
have you ever lost anything? And he tells me

00:59:18.889 --> 00:59:22.829
a three -quarters truth. Why indeed. But all

00:59:22.829 --> 00:59:24.469
of those mysteries are going to have to wait

00:59:24.469 --> 00:59:27.670
until next time. Oh, yeah. So what are your final

00:59:27.670 --> 00:59:30.530
thoughts in today's session? I'm glad that I

00:59:30.530 --> 00:59:33.829
made it as dramatic as humanly possible. Yeah.

00:59:33.889 --> 00:59:36.610
I'm glad it came down to the wire. A bit of a

00:59:36.610 --> 00:59:39.489
close end almost. Yep. And like I said, to all

00:59:39.489 --> 00:59:42.829
the metal fans out there, when Pucciarelli's

00:59:42.829 --> 00:59:45.650
going into his rage mode, just listen to the

00:59:45.650 --> 00:59:48.480
track Viking by Slaughter to Prevail. Like, the

00:59:48.480 --> 00:59:51.639
beginning chant and mantra from that song, that's

00:59:51.639 --> 00:59:53.719
what he's... That's what Pucciarelli's banging

00:59:53.719 --> 00:59:56.000
his chest and getting fired up by saying. We

00:59:56.000 --> 00:59:57.760
might have to get Pucciarelli some black and

00:59:57.760 --> 01:00:00.960
white face paint for future battles. We're not

01:00:00.960 --> 01:00:02.739
putting... Okay, well, okay, yeah, we could do

01:00:02.739 --> 01:00:05.179
that. Okay, you're not allowed to do black face,

01:00:05.280 --> 01:00:06.900
and technically you're also not allowed to do

01:00:06.900 --> 01:00:09.619
white face. But if you did black and white face,

01:00:09.639 --> 01:00:11.579
like the cookie... I think they call that corpse

01:00:11.579 --> 01:00:13.579
making. I think they call that ebony and ivory,

01:00:13.739 --> 01:00:18.409
living together with Lyra and... turkey in Cali

01:00:18.409 --> 01:00:20.610
in harmony. We don't know if we're going to keep

01:00:20.610 --> 01:00:23.289
living in harmony. You're all one big happy family.

01:00:23.309 --> 01:00:27.530
For now. Until I figure some things out. Until

01:00:27.530 --> 01:00:31.489
next time. If you enjoyed the stupidity you just

01:00:31.489 --> 01:00:35.309
heard, why not subscribe or follow or just like

01:00:35.309 --> 01:00:39.010
this or whatever it is you do on whatever platform

01:00:39.010 --> 01:00:41.650
you're hearing this on. If you have any suggestions

01:00:41.650 --> 01:00:43.929
for episode ideas or thoughts on what we should

01:00:43.929 --> 01:00:47.329
do here, leave a comment if you can. thing where

01:00:47.329 --> 01:00:49.690
you're hearing this email us at windbreaker media

01:00:49.690 --> 01:00:54.030
at gmail .com all one word chat gpt and i appreciate

01:00:54.030 --> 01:00:57.590
your support and constructive criticism wait

01:00:57.590 --> 01:01:00.630
why am i not included in that see you all next

01:01:00.630 --> 01:01:03.750
time the three of us appreciate you all