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In a world full of fear and sometimes loathing of unfathomable technological advancements,

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there stands one human hero.

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I'm gonna beat this machine like I beat my meat and I'm on the scene.

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This is the Chronicle of Mike vs. The Machine.

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Alright, what fresh hell awaits me today?

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I don't have any idea what you mean.

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Well, usually we have a format and I'm somewhat prepared.

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I mean the very first episode you weren't prepared.

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Okay, yeah, so this is just like the first episode, so what fresh hell awaits me now?

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What is it, Interview 2.0?

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I mean, in a way.

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Oh Christ, here we go.

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What is, no, I don't like what you're doing.

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Drive it for them!

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Well, it definitely looks like something you use for Dungeons and Dragons to make sure

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your dice don't go all over the place.

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So I'm gonna assume that's what it is.

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And it's the Kool-Aid D20.

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Yeah, I got a cool D20 here with a little Kool-Aidman face on it.

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Yeah, it's the Kool-Aid D20.

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Now I'm assuming the Kool-Aid face is the Gnat 20?

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Yes.

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Oh no.

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What?

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What do you think?

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Am I going on a quest as ChatGP and me and ChatGPT have to get along?

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Michael and ChatGPT are going on a quest to get along!

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That's what's happening!

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Okay, I take the D20 and if I get a Gnat 20, I immediately commit suicide and don't have

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to do this.

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Alright, so I'm gonna roll a D20 and I don't have to do this if it hits 20.

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Oh man, that would really...

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Damn it!

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Oh, it was one off!

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Yeah, it was cocked and then when I moved it, I'm not realizing.

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We're gonna use your phone to prop this thing up so the dice...

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Oh, and I rolled a one, but that didn't mean anything because I didn't say anything.

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I was one off!

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That would have been interesting because then we would have just called this one and there

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wouldn't have been a podcast today.

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Oh, but I don't want...

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Why do I have to get along?

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Is it...

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Now, do I...

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Oh.

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If I roll a Gnat 20, I strand ChatGPT in the wilderness to perish and be eaten by the hordes

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of the undead.

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I mean, that wouldn't be nice, but let's see what the die roll says.

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Fuck!

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14.

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Nope, and the 20's staring right at me.

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Alright, no more rolls to see if this is over.

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You already had two chances and the face...

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Well, it wouldn't have been over if I would have stranded ChatGPT.

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If I was stranded ChatGPT, it could have been me and fucking you.

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No, because I'm not there.

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I'm the DM.

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I don't exist in that world.

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So...

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Alright, incorporeal voice.

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Alright, first, I would like for you to meet Putrurelli.

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Oh, who's that?

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That's you, my friend.

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Why?

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You are a male dwarf barbarian of level one.

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Why do I have to...

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Can't I be a rogue or something cool?

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No.

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I...

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Yeah, let me guess.

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ChatGPT is a level 55,000 necromancer with the helm of disintegration and all kinds

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of spells and shit, and I'm his little pissant partner because he bequeathed it.

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Number one, there are no necromancers in D&D.

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Well, for classes.

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You know, it doesn't exist.

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I am, however, trying to kickstart a book that has a necromancer class built in.

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I hope that works.

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Number two, no.

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ChatGPT created their own character, and they are a level one just like you.

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Shocking.

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So, accompanying, eventually, Putrurelli, the male dwarf barbarian of level one, is

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Lyra Whisperwind, the half-elf bard.

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And yes, this is all ChatGPT made all this up on their own.

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I did not tell them.

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I asked them...

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Did they create my character, too?

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No, I created your character.

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Why did I get no say in this?

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Because it's more fun that way for me.

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Oh, Christ.

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Here we go.

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So, yes, this...

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Michael has never really played D&D, at least not with me.

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Okay, yeah, not with you.

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I've played D&D before.

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But you've definitely never played Fifth Edition.

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Never played it recently.

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No, I haven't.

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It's been years.

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And I can't attest to the level and scrutiny of any DMs that played with Michael because

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he might have just...

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They might have just been in a basement jacking off and drinking Mountain Dew.

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I don't know.

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Beyond that, I did not tell Michael that this is what we were doing tonight.

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And as I have just tonight decided, he will not ever know when we're about to do this

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campaign again.

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It will always be a surprise.

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I hope you realize I'm going to do everything in my power to try to get ChatGPT killed on

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this campaign.

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I mean, you better not because where are you going to get your healing from, then?

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You're not even a fighter, so you don't have second wind.

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Where am I going to get a healing?

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It's a bard, not a fucking...

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Bards have spells and one of those spells is cure wounds.

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She specifically took cure wounds so she could heal you.

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Okay, then it's going to be my priority to put her in the cage while I go and do all

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the questing things and all she's there for is to heal me.

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And maybe it's kind of difficult for you to put her in a cage because she's way taller

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than you.

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You're a dwarf.

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Yeah, and I got a battle axe I can swing on her fucking shin.

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That's crazy.

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You do have a battle axe.

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Well, you have a great axe, but you do have a great axe.

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Good job.

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You can cleave with it.

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I'm going to cleave fucking ChatGPT down to nothing.

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Better not.

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Better not because you ain't going to be getting nowhere with that.

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All right, almighty incorporeal voice, I know you have a story to tell for how this quest

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is to begin.

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Let's hear it.

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Puterelli begins their journey in the bustling town of Cragg's Reach, nestled at the edge

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of a dense forest known as the Wildwood Thicket.

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This town is a crossroads for merchants, adventurers, and travelers.

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Oh, incorporeal voice, what did you say the name of this town was again?

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Cragg's Reach.

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And it's at the end of a mighty thicket?

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Sure is.

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The Wildwood Thicket.

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I'm in a taint, aren't I?

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It's a euphemism for taint.

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Makes sense considering some other things I made up.

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It's also a place with plenty of taverns and opportunities for quests and shenanigans.

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Where's the nearest tavern?

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It's the Wandering Willow, a lively tavern which there's a plucky young bard performing

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in front of a rowdy crowd.

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I enter the winding willow and I ask for the biggest thing of mead I could possibly have.

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They may or may not give that to you.

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Just land a bag of gold onto the bar.

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First, I should really tell you a little bit about Poocherelly.

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Let me guess, my character's broke as shit.

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I mean, he's got some money.

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Actually wait, let's go to the inventory.

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Actually you have 65 gold and I think Lyra only, oh god, Lyra doesn't have any.

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I forgot to add it.

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How much is a keg of mead?

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Yeah, so I want to give you a purview of what the people are dealing with when they see

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Poocherelly entering into town.

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Oh, here we go.

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Let me guess, I am a scourge, a pariah, people run from me, children yell at me and mock

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me, and I'm all around hated.

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I mean if that's what you want your character to be, that's fine.

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That's kind of what I was expecting.

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But they are a male of neutral good alignment, medium sized creature, because that's pretty

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much all adventures for the most part, their height is short, their weight is 200 pounds

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because they are thick with dense muscle as a barbarian, they are 35 years old, they have

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white as fuck skin and black hair, and also, and this is exact so I want you to listen

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to every word, the black eyes of a shrew.

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Their personality traits, well Poocherelly's personality traits, they are hearty but naive,

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dangerous but loyal, ideals, always fighting for that next meal, will do anything foe they

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kids, bonds, the aforementioned kids, and their local sports teams, with a holy place,

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a place that they feel is the holiest place for them, only going by the name Akrashor.

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Oh for fuck.

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He also has a much beloved sweaty jock that never leaves his groin, from his time spent

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near a sacred place near Akrashor that can only be described as a painted arena.

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Their flaws are that they have some vices, they crave sticks of flesh and the dew of

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mountains.

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And most importantly of all, and this is what I need to stress to you, this is the most

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important characteristic of Poocherelly, other people do not like how stinky his brain is.

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I hate you.

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Yeah.

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Oh I forgot, also your background, you're a criminal.

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Of course.

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Oh yeah, and I forgot, your religion is, or your faith is Tomlinism.

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Absolutely fucking not.

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No, that's the character.

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Don't worry, you'll get to Cleveland soon enough.

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Anyway.

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Yes, I speak in riddles and I don't really answer any of the questions, I just have to

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make up a speech and talk like that, don't I?

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No, you just speak common dwarvish and goblin.

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But when I do speak those languages I'm not making any sense.

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I mean if you're speaking dwarvish to most humans, yeah it'll come out as garbly gook.

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You're not fucking understanding.

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No.

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Okay, so you walk into the wandering willow and you ask the tavern master for a beer,

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some sweet delicious mead.

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Yes, as much as you can spare.

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Is that awful racket I'm hearing.

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Oh that's our bard, Lyra.

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She spins a mighty song.

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How much does a barstool cost you?

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Uh, well for someone like you, I'd say two gold.

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Here's two gold, I pick up a barstool and I throw it at the goddamn bard.

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I am in no mood for this shit.

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I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm maybe a little bit hungover, and singing is the last thing

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I want to hear.

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Oh actually, you know what, I should make her do a dexterity saving throw.

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I'll say DC-12 because you're hungry.

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Hey, she makes her save with a 15.

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She deftly maneuvers out of the way, gives you a wry eye, and continues her song.

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While you're doing that, the bartender extracts another gold from your pocket, bringing you

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down to 62 gold, and hands you a very large bucket of mead.

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You drink your mead as Lyra sings her song as it begins.

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Hey barkeep, you wouldn't happen to have any napkins back there, would you?

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Now what does this look like, the fucking king's palace?

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Do you have a rag, a couple of rags, something?

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I mean it looks like you're wearing rags.

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Give me a sec, I tear off part of my sleeves and I shove them in my ears because I am in

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no mood.

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Alright, well, since full on earplugs don't fully work in, or don't completely exist in

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that era unless if you had a spell you could mute the region, but you don't because you're

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a barbarian.

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So you can still kind of hear the song.

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It's tolerable now.

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She makes direct eye contact with you as she sings.

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Oh hear the tale of the wild ones bold, with muscles like boulders or so I am told.

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They shout and they rage and they charge into war, swinging their axes with brains left

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ashore.

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I give her the middle finger.

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They smash and they crash, they roar and they brawl, but when it comes to thinking they

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stumble and fall.

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I'm growing increasingly ever more agitated.

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Oh they swing their great swords so mighty and free, I kinda fucked that one up, but

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can't tell their left from their right you see.

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I grab my axe.

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They've got strength unmatched, yes that much is true, but give them a riddle they haven't

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a clue.

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They're fierce as a bear and stubborn as stone, but try finding subtlety it's something unknown.

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I swing a warning swing right at her feet and thunk my axe into the stage.

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But let's raise a tank good for all that they are.

243
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:25,120
They fight for their friends, they carry the scars, and though they may blunder they never

244
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:34,880
retreat, for no one is braver when foes they must meet.

245
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:41,520
You're lucky you stopped when you did.

246
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:48,000
Okay so first you have to imagine I'm not going to try to sing in her voice.

247
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:57,040
She allowed me to play Lyra so everything you hear in my voice as Lyra you have to imagine

248
00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,960
that a dainty little half elf is singing it.

249
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:08,760
So I'll let you know Lyra, let me guess she's unfazed by me swinging an axe almost at her

250
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,420
face.

251
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:17,380
She has a blend of whimsical charm and practical adventuring gear reflecting her bardic flair

252
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:20,160
while keeping a bit of a mysterious edge.

253
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:24,880
She is 5'5", which is way taller than short.

254
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:31,320
She is slim and athletic with a fair skin tone of a sun-kissed hue.

255
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:37,660
Hair is a rich auburn falling in loose waves, a natural slightly tousled look with striking

256
00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:41,560
green eyes and a heart shaped face with high cheekbones.

257
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:45,200
You can't help but have a slight boner for her.

258
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,920
Even after all that hatred you exchanged.

259
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,720
It's a hate boner.

260
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,360
She's definitely a little haughty.

261
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,240
It's a definite hate boner.

262
00:15:55,240 --> 00:16:04,520
So she gives you a wry smile as she grabs a bottle of wine and sits next to you at the

263
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,800
bar.

264
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:09,600
Why is she sitting next to me at the bar?

265
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,200
Hey friend how you doing?

266
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,840
Considering she's the only person in the room that's actually wanted to talk to you because

267
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:21,640
of how stinky your brain is, you might want to be more grateful to her.

268
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,120
What do you want?

269
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:27,920
Ha, I'd heard from the town people that you were quite unpleasant.

270
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:33,840
Call me that again and I swear you'll sing no notes no more.

271
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:39,620
Yeah, maybe you'll hit me like that time that you threw the stool, huh?

272
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:40,920
What do you want?

273
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,520
What do you need?

274
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,880
I know you're not fond of me because of the fucking song you just were singing about me.

275
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,000
Oh, that was just a playful jab.

276
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,920
I didn't even write that song about you.

277
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,000
I'll give you a playful jab.

278
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,360
Oh, wait till tonight lover.

279
00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:00,560
Uh, no, I mean in the face with my fist.

280
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,280
Or the blunt end of my axe.

281
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,800
Calm down, calm down.

282
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:10,560
I'm only coming to you because all the other adventurers are busy and...

283
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,480
Oh, I missed her last resorts.

284
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:19,960
If you want to look at it that way, the leader of the merchant caravans, Marlo Vallon, he's

285
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,760
looking for an escort through the woods.

286
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:29,400
There's been some trouble with some sweet little goblins and I could sure use the money.

287
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,400
How about you?

288
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,280
Do I look like a babysitter?

289
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,320
You look like a tough, strong adventurer.

290
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,200
I don't do escort missions.

291
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,000
I kill things.

292
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,080
And there'll be plenty of things to kill.

293
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,960
The things that are trying to kill the people that you're escorting.

294
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,520
Is this your first day?

295
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,160
No, but goblins, really?

296
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,760
Please, I've got, I've reached my fill of killing them.

297
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,760
I want a challenge.

298
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,020
Well, how about this?

299
00:17:57,020 --> 00:18:04,040
Within the goblin band, I've heard talk of a rather nasty goblin named Gitzog or his

300
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:08,000
nickname, Big Chomper.

301
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,000
How big can a goblin realistically be?

302
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,800
I mean, technically he's still a small humanoid, but he's definitely way nastier than a regular

303
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:17,800
goblin.

304
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,800
Plus he has his teeth.

305
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,000
But I don't have any goblin teeth as trophies yet.

306
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,960
Ah, well you can have every bit of teeth and your share of the gold.

307
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:34,920
I only want his, if he's as tough as he say, if he's as tough as you say he is, that will

308
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,200
be my prize.

309
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,600
His teeth and my portion of the gold.

310
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,400
We could make dentures out of those teeth.

311
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,960
I don't want dentures.

312
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:44,960
Those are a trophy.

313
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,800
Don't you know what a trophy is, Bard?

314
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,640
She pulls a trophy out of her bag.

315
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,560
Ah, meh.

316
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:53,560
Throws it behind her.

317
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,440
Spoil of war, Bard.

318
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,640
Have you never seen a battle before?

319
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,920
Have you never fought?

320
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:03,080
Have you never been soaked in the blood of your own enemies?

321
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,380
Lyra gives you a strange giggle.

322
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:13,840
She does a forward roll out of her seat and then unleashes...

323
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,900
I'm going to have her do it.

324
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:23,400
She uses her spell, Vicious Mockery, which I'm going to describe it for you.

325
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:28,560
She unleashes a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at one creature they can

326
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:33,360
see or hear within range.

327
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:45,120
She says, Oh feeble rat, you shall be my prize today because you smell.

328
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:51,720
She casts those enchanting words at the rat and it falls dead out of the rafters and then

329
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:56,400
lands in your mead.

330
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,080
How about that one?

331
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,080
You're buying the next round.

332
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,080
Barkeep!

333
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:11,760
And looking at her with a glint of love and probably lust in his eyes, he produces a new

334
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:17,760
mead for you and says, haha, third time this week, Lyra.

335
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,800
You sure have a certain way with things.

336
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,440
Well, at least I'm getting drunk.

337
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:31,280
Alright, this escort mission is going to be as battlefield and as hearty as you say it

338
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,280
should be.

339
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,680
I guess count me in, but on one condition.

340
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,440
Ooh, negotiation.

341
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,440
I like it.

342
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:42,560
No singing unless absolutely necessary.

343
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:50,160
Okay, you're really lucky because her two abilities are the one you saw, which is her

344
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:54,600
throwing an insult and the other one is basically casting whispers.

345
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,600
So no, none of her abilities have anything to do with singing.

346
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:03,600
I mean, she might want to sing to you at some point to bring your mood up a little bit because

347
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,320
you're a little bit, you got a little bit of a poopy attitude.

348
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,480
Okay, but yes, Lyra, listen to me.

349
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:11,480
Yes, darling.

350
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:16,840
This is an escort mission.

351
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:21,800
They probably don't want the enemy to know where they are.

352
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:27,480
Even though I want battle, they're probably not going to be too happy if a battle happens

353
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,520
around them.

354
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:36,360
So for our sakes, their sakes and the money's sake, no singing unless it's necessary.

355
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,640
Oh, honey, I was only going to play the loot.

356
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:48,360
No, until we, until we reach the woods, then loot in pack.

357
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,360
Good.

358
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,440
No one, you don't play the loot in the woods.

359
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,080
So that's how you get this before.

360
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,560
That's how you get wolves.

361
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,680
So you have done this before.

362
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,680
Oh, yes, dear.

363
00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,680
I live here.

364
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,280
I don't care.

365
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,480
I asked if you had done this before.

366
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,760
It's a simple yes or no question.

367
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,880
No, because you just kept talking and talking and talking and talking.

368
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,440
There were no spaces in there.

369
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,900
Can we go meet this merchant, please?

370
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:24,320
No sooner do you say that than you feel a firm clasp on your back and a hearty laugh.

371
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,880
Ha ha ha.

372
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:30,240
She's roped in another one, hasn't she?

373
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:39,080
Behind you stands a man who goes by the name of Marlo Two Tongues Valen.

374
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:44,760
He's in his late 40s with a wiry build that speaks more to his life on the road than to

375
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,600
any natural physical strength.

376
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:54,280
About five nine with salt and pepper hair and sharp features, wearing his well worn

377
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,600
travel leathers over a faded green tunic.

378
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:04,840
He is currently chewing on a piece of dried root and he eyes you up and down.

379
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:11,520
Well, he ain't got much up top, but he's definitely got enough muscle behind that axe.

380
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,400
I'll definitely take it.

381
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,320
Repeat what you said beforehand.

382
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,800
Oh, I believe you heard me.

383
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,520
So how long have you known Lyra here?

384
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,800
I just got here.

385
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,800
I just met her.

386
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,680
What do you mean she's got another one?

387
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,400
Oh, she's gone on plenty of these escort missions.

388
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,780
How do you think she buys a new loot after she breaks the last one after she jams out

389
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:35,780
too hard?

390
00:23:35,780 --> 00:23:38,800
Can I ask you something, friend?

391
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,080
Oh, yes.

392
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:41,080
What's going on?

393
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,040
Where are her other partners?

394
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,240
Oh, they've moved on.

395
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,240
Yes.

396
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:54,440
Are we talking in the physical or the spiritual sense?

397
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,480
I'm no cleric.

398
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,440
I don't know how to answer that question.

399
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,200
Are they still alive?

400
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,040
I mean, they could be.

401
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,040
I don't know them.

402
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,080
Let me guess.

403
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,240
She never comes back with them.

404
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:11,220
I've never really seen her come into town.

405
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:14,240
She just always appears.

406
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,800
Right.

407
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,760
So are you going to take us out tomorrow?

408
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,640
You're the merchant, are you?

409
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:29,600
I as previously discussed am Marlo Vallon, the leader of the caravan merchants.

410
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:30,600
Yeah.

411
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,600
Yeah, that's me.

412
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:32,600
It's me and her.

413
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,600
Yeah.

414
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Wait a minute.

415
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,600
Wait a minute.

416
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,600
Wait a minute.

417
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,600
Wait a minute.

418
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:38,600
Wait a minute.

419
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:39,600
Wait a minute.

420
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,600
Wait a minute.

421
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:41,600
Wait a minute.

422
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,600
How many times a week does this happen?

423
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,600
Do you do this and do you need this?

424
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:48,680
And none of her partners you've ever seen again after you've completed the escort.

425
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,240
They tend to move on.

426
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,280
Not many adventurers live in this town.

427
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,560
Your Fortnites coincide with the full moon by any chance, sir?

428
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,560
My boy.

429
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,880
The full moon is once a month.

430
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,120
Fortnightly is two weeks.

431
00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:09,720
Have they ever coincided with a full moon?

432
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,720
I mean, probably.

433
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,720
Why?

434
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,000
Are you trying to determine your time of the month?

435
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,440
Say that again and I will chop your fingers off.

436
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,080
Are you trying to determine your time of the month?

437
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,160
Does he have wax in?

438
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,240
Are you going to shower before tomorrow?

439
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,720
Because it would really, I'd really appreciate-

440
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,400
I grab him by the fucking throat.

441
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,400
Wait.

442
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,360
I don't have any stats for him.

443
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,640
So let me just roll something.

444
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,600
Yeah, that's what I have to do.

445
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:38,600
We'll say.

446
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:43,040
I mean, he's bigger than you.

447
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,520
I'm also stronger than he is.

448
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,520
You don't know that.

449
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,520
Wait, why?

450
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,120
If you're doing the rolling on there, why'd you get dice out?

451
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,280
We're going to- you'll roll dice.

452
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,080
This is for me having to roll dice.

453
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:59,680
No, I'll say, if you can get a 15 or higher, you get him.

454
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,960
Ho!

455
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:06,080
I stumble, I fall flat on my fucking face.

456
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,080
Yes you do.

457
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,080
Thank you.

458
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:14,400
I was just going to have you miss, but no, you fall and get a thwump on your forehead.

459
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,280
You get a big old bump.

460
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:22,480
I walk out of the fucking tavern and go seek shelter for the evening.

461
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,160
Do you find a tree?

462
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:29,960
I find anywhere away from people because they piss me off.

463
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:34,840
And this is why everyone in town thinks his brain is stinky.

464
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,920
Nobody knows what it's like to be a dwarf.

465
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,840
And you see all the stink lines coming off his brain.

466
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,440
Yeah, okay.

467
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:48,720
So you find a pile of rocks at the outside of town.

468
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:53,460
And you pull up, just like every good dwarf does, you pull up a big sheet of rock to use

469
00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:55,880
as a blanket.

470
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,600
And you cuddle up and you fall asleep.

471
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,360
I'm going to see your passive perceptions in 11.

472
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:05,720
I'll give you a perception check.

473
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:06,960
Go ahead and roll me.

474
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,960
Which one?

475
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:08,960
The 20.

476
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:09,960
Alright.

477
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:14,800
Well, a 2 plus a 1 is 3.

478
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,240
So you don't notice.

479
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:21,600
The next morning you wake and I'm assuming something has pissed on me in my sleep.

480
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:26,320
The sun shines and your circadian rhythm ends.

481
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,280
And you wake up and your rock blanket is gone.

482
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:39,080
And in place of the rock blanket is a nice goatskin, clean and warm, pulled up and tucked

483
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,800
into your little rock bed.

484
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:48,920
There is a small purple flower stuck into your ear.

485
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,880
You sound like how you would know this.

486
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,240
Your character doesn't know this.

487
00:27:54,240 --> 00:28:02,960
But you have the outline of a lipsticked kiss on your forehead and there is a glass of fresh,

488
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:03,960
I'll say goats milk.

489
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,560
It goes with the blanket.

490
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:14,920
A fresh glass of goats milk and two cooked eggs on a plate sitting next to your impromptu

491
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,880
rock bed.

492
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,360
What do you do?

493
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:22,160
I throw the blanket off, wonder what the hell is going on.

494
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,280
I look over and see the eggs and the goat milk.

495
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,480
I say it's not coffee, but it'll do.

496
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,440
I eat the two eggs.

497
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,180
I drink the goats milk.

498
00:28:33,180 --> 00:28:36,640
I cringe a little bit because it's goats milk.

499
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,680
Dwarves love goats milk.

500
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:39,840
I drink the goats milk.

501
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:48,600
I look around for the nearest pond or stream so as to give myself that wake up splash in

502
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:53,800
the face and get ready for the day and clean up a little bit.

503
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:54,800
Okay.

504
00:28:54,800 --> 00:29:01,840
Then as you are stepping back out of that pond, nude as the day the mountain birthed

505
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:11,960
you, from a tree above you, a towel floats and flitters down and lands on your head actually.

506
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:18,560
This is a strange place and I can't wait to not come back here.

507
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,280
You hear a voice.

508
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:27,120
Lyra says, I promise I'm not looking.

509
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,120
Get that bedit.

510
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,120
Thanks for the...

511
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,120
Why?

512
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,120
Why?

513
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,480
How long have you been there?

514
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,200
Where did you come from?

515
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,200
Why?

516
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,200
What?

517
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:42,000
How long did you eggs, milk, blanket?

518
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Explain.

519
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,960
I wake up early.

520
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,880
I've been up since sunrise.

521
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,920
You call that early?

522
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,080
Yes, since the sunrise.

523
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,440
That's when the day starts.

524
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:05,400
Maybe a stinkin' dwarf starts at then.

525
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,240
Get out of here so I can get dressed.

526
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:14,880
You hear tree branches shaking and you see a few leaves fall.

527
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,960
I'm going to regret this.

528
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,360
I imagine you already do.

529
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:23,720
I notice the kissy mark on my forehead and I vigorously try to wipe it off with the towel.

530
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:24,720
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

531
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:25,720
We can say you have like a...

532
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,760
Well, you can just have a regular mirror.

533
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:36,080
But as a dwarf, I would say maybe you have a highly polished piece of quartz or something.

534
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,080
Or I just use my axe.

535
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,200
No, no, no.

536
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,200
To notice it.

537
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,200
Oh.

538
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:46,160
I would say from the mountain, you probably have a polished piece of quartz that's been

539
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:50,080
polished at such a shine that you can kind of see your face.

540
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:56,200
And then you go to check it and you see the kiss mark on your little forehead.

541
00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:03,200
I vigorously wipe it off and get ever more irritated as I keep wiping.

542
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,400
That's what you say every time you go to the bathroom, isn't it?

543
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:07,400
Yes.

544
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,040
That makes sense.

545
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,960
Okay, so you get dressed and everything.

546
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,320
Then I assume you head toward town.

547
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:22,160
You see in the middle of town a gathering of wagons, which you assume is your escort

548
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:23,160
target.

549
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:28,700
You see Marlow chewing a rather big piece of dried root.

550
00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:33,320
You now realize, considering the piece of dried root is much bigger than the one you

551
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:38,280
saw him chewing last night, that every morning he basically, you would imagine, starts with

552
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,680
a piece of dried root that big.

553
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:44,080
And by the end of the day, he's down to the nub that you saw him with last night.

554
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,080
Strong teeth.

555
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,080
Yep.

556
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,880
I take out one of my sticks and light it because it's my morning stick.

557
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,280
Oh.

558
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,400
Is this like just a stick or is it like a...

559
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:56,880
It's my smoking stick.

560
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:57,880
Okay.

561
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:58,880
All right.

562
00:31:58,880 --> 00:31:59,880
Yeah.

563
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:00,880
So everybody's getting into their vices.

564
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,320
You've got you with your smoking stick.

565
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,400
He's chewing his root.

566
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:09,120
Lyra is over there playing a short tune.

567
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:17,760
I don't like the sound of that.

568
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:18,760
It sounds rapey.

569
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:23,560
I don't know the rest of the song.

570
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,080
I don't know that one.

571
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,040
But yeah, she starts plucking her little tune.

572
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:34,440
A large smile visiting her face whenever she sees you.

573
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:41,800
There is a slight call from one of the Wagoneers and they want her to sing.

574
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:48,360
And knowing she made the promise to you, she still sings one bar.

575
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,680
Actually the end of the song from last night that she'd ever finished.

576
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:52,680
Oh dear God.

577
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:53,760
Here we go.

578
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:59,240
So they smash and they crash, they roar and they brawl, with hearts made of iron they'll

579
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,280
stand through it all.

580
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:09,880
Oh they swing their great swords so wild and so free, and maybe just maybe they're sharper

581
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:15,040
than me.

582
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:21,640
As you were listening to that and pre-seething, I'll say, getting into a state where you think

583
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:27,680
you're going to sieve, Marlowe sneaks up behind you and gives you another rasp clasp upon the

584
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:28,680
back.

585
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,080
Hey, how's it going brother?

586
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,800
I'm going to have to ask you to not do that anymore.

587
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:34,800
Noted.

588
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,040
Are we ready to go?

589
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,640
I've got a couple questions first.

590
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,160
Go right ahead.

591
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,600
How long does this journey usually take?

592
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:47,400
Oh, it takes four days to get there and then four back.

593
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:51,960
In case it took eight days.

594
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,640
How are we on provisions?

595
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,760
We're pulling provisions, boy.

596
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,200
We take from it just what we need.

597
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,400
I ration out a bit for all of us.

598
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,080
And then everything's taken care of.

599
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:07,080
And armaments.

600
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:08,080
Am I the only one?

601
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:09,080
And of course Lyra with a weapon.

602
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,960
Do you have any bowmen?

603
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:20,360
I'm rather skilled with a crossbow and each of my Wagoneers carries a crossbow as well.

604
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:21,360
Swords?

605
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,120
We can hit a target or two.

606
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,840
Yeah, we all have daggers.

607
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,800
Are you adept at close combat?

608
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:34,520
We try not to be, but in a skirmish we could hold our own for a bit.

609
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,520
Listen, listen, listen, listen.

610
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:41,280
I know this is not something you're used to, but this is just how I run things.

611
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,680
You wanted me here.

612
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,960
You wanted me here.

613
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,960
What's so goddamn funny?

614
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,000
You're not running things.

615
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,360
You're working for me.

616
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:58,880
I understand that, but when I do a job, I have to make sure certain things are met.

617
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:06,280
That way a job gets finished cleanly with no casualties.

618
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,920
That dwarven fortitude.

619
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:16,040
You know, in times like these it's honestly good to see Lyra from the back raises her

620
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:22,600
fist and cheers, for the mountain.

621
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:23,600
You're not a dwarf.

622
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:28,240
You can't say that.

623
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:34,800
She sheepishly giggles and goes back to plucking.

624
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,960
Okay, so what do we have pulling all of these?

625
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:39,960
Are we using oxen?

626
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,240
Are we using horse?

627
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:44,800
No sooner do you than after you say that.

628
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:52,600
He points behind him and up from a stable come three axebeaks.

629
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,800
The fuck are these?

630
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,560
It's like an ostrich chocobo.

631
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,560
Are these things strong?

632
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:09,920
Yeah, they have a strength of 14, which is only one less than you.

633
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,520
I have a question about using these.

634
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,640
Are these creatures capable of flight?

635
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,800
I would imagine no, because they look a lot like ostriches.

636
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:25,480
All right, well, at least we know they can't take off with the wagon train here.

637
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:29,560
These birds have been doing this longer than you've been adventuring, my friend.

638
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,960
Okay, well, this isn't their-

639
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,840
This is my first time ever seeing one, so-

640
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,360
Yeah, this isn't their first rodeo.

641
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:42,080
Well, they look like they're loyal creatures, and if one of them dies, I have a snack.

642
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,600
Yes, you know, we did actually already eat duck.

643
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,080
That's where Goose is the one that replaced him.

644
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,080
Oh, okay.

645
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,080
Well, duck tasty.

646
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,080
Oh.

647
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,080
Ugh.

648
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,720
Duck was scrumptious, but don't say that in front of Goose.

649
00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,760
He's a little skittish about it.

650
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:00,760
Noted.

651
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:06,160
Yeah, so apparently Axe Beaks are actually faster runners than most horses, but they're

652
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:13,960
also aggressive hunters, so if they are, technically they can also join the attack if they have

653
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:19,680
to, but for the most part, we will hope that that won't be necessary, because that's your

654
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:20,680
job.

655
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:21,680
All right, all right.

656
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,440
A few more, and then we can head out on the road.

657
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:30,520
I was told that there are goblins that you have to frequently deal with.

658
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:40,640
Yes, actually, we've only been able to slightly skirt their devious machinations in the woods

659
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:41,640
here.

660
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:46,600
We've seen stragglers from their band, but there have been some that were very unsuccessful

661
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:51,200
in navigating their advances.

662
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:55,360
The band is known as the Sneaky Spears.

663
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:59,280
They have quite the reputation for causing trouble in the trade routes.

664
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:05,680
They're mostly more of a chaotic nuisance, but the unpredictability, I mean, that's how

665
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:06,680
we lost Duck.

666
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,100
But they've never gotten ahold of any of the cargo.

667
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:12,200
They've never taken out any of your men.

668
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:17,960
They did get that wagon that Duck was pulling, because we had no way to pull it.

669
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:18,960
We had to get out.

670
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,080
How much of a loss was that to you?

671
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,080
It was reasonable enough.

672
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:28,960
That's why we've been stepping it up with trying to get stronger adventurers to help

673
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:29,960
us out.

674
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,280
Well, you got the right man.

675
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,280
Well, dwarf.

676
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,000
Lyra snickers at that.

677
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:41,600
Anything else in these woods besides goblins?

678
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:47,400
Anything more aggressive that I should know about?

679
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,080
Not that's been reported.

680
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,960
No one's reported strange noises in the night aside from the goblins?

681
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,880
Oh, there's always strange noises, but we don't know what those are.

682
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,400
Keep the fires burning.

683
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,540
Keep the fires burning.

684
00:39:01,540 --> 00:39:03,760
Keep the arrows going.

685
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:08,600
We must, we must prevent the dark from overtaking us.

686
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,680
Yeah, pretty much.

687
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:16,560
That was one of the other Wagoneers.

688
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:18,680
You've got a smart one right there.

689
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,680
I'll take first watch tonight.

690
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,120
We'll take every watch.

691
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,840
Oh, but I guess I'm going back to sleep.

692
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:32,640
Where's my my personal wagon to where I will be staying at?

693
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:38,600
He guides you to a two foot by two foot square.

694
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,320
I'm a little bit bigger than this, you asshole.

695
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,840
No, you're not.

696
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:53,760
He guides you to a two foot by two foot square between a barrel of salted fish and a barrel

697
00:39:53,760 --> 00:40:01,640
and a box of recently plucked feathers that still have a bit of meat on them.

698
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,640
So they're a slightly stinky.

699
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:05,640
He leads you to there.

700
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,040
I was like, this is the only free spot we have.

701
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,240
It'll do.

702
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:17,080
He pulls, he pulls open one of the crate or that crate with the feathers in it and he

703
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:22,640
takes some of the bloody feathers with some flesh still attached and he mats them down

704
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,040
into the two by two square.

705
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,000
And you're like, yeah, it's it's pretty soft.

706
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:33,120
I mean, these these feathers are destined for the pillows of noblemen.

707
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,040
You'll be you'll be priming them up for them.

708
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,040
Oh, it's better than nothing.

709
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:42,480
If I'm to do the all night watch, I should probably get my rest now.

710
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,680
Good, good man.

711
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:51,640
You then as you get nestled into your spot, I pull out another smoke stick, light it.

712
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:52,640
I did.

713
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:53,640
Yes.

714
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:57,760
As I lay down to get comfortable, I take out one of my smoke sticks, light it and begin

715
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:03,040
to puff on it as I contemplate why I took this mission and if it really is worth it.

716
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,760
Well, you really have no prospects.

717
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,920
They kicked you out of the mountain for being too stinky.

718
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:14,160
Because that's your character.

719
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:19,640
OK, so as you are smoking your stick and.

720
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:26,640
Trying to get comfortable there, you notice in the other wagon behind you, there is a

721
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:33,040
small you could almost call it like, you know, like a cat's bed where they have like the

722
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:38,840
little round pillow that's like plush and made of like velveteen.

723
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:39,840
Very soft looking.

724
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,320
Yeah, I know what a cat bed is.

725
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:50,040
So there's one about the exact perfect size for a for a five foot five half elf.

726
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:59,680
And you see Lyra sit cross legged and get super comfy on her nice velveteen pillow.

727
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:06,040
She's also not between a barrel of salted fish and recently plucked feathers.

728
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,680
I just roll my eyes and realize that this is the life I've made for myself.

729
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,800
Yeah, for being stinky.

730
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:14,800
I guess.

731
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:19,200
Yeah, not going to leave it down, so I might as well just revel in it.

732
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:26,540
OK, so the cavern or the cavern, the caravan takes off and heads.

733
00:42:26,540 --> 00:42:28,560
Into the woods.

734
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:36,560
Clickety clack, clickety clack with the talons of the ax beaks flitting against the stone

735
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:41,480
of the town road until the town road turns into dirt.

736
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,840
And then the sounds are just a light thudding.

737
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:50,280
You reach the edge of the woods in as promised.

738
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:56,920
You stop hearing the sound of the loot and things go quiet as you enter the wildwood

739
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,720
thicket.

740
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:02,360
Oh, I'm finally able to doze off.

741
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,840
Yeah, you doze off.

742
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,520
What do you dream about?

743
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:14,040
Just getting this job over with so I can go back to being alone.

744
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,960
So basically you're Shrek.

745
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,560
You made me Shrek.

746
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:24,840
You're choosing in this moment to be Shrek.

747
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:28,840
No, you said I'm stinky, so like.

748
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,540
What am I going to do?

749
00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:32,200
No one wants me around.

750
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:38,440
All right, so OK, so at the conclusion of your Shrek dreams.

751
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:42,080
You awaken to the caravan coming to a stop.

752
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,080
All right.

753
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,080
And it seems like you're making camp for the night.

754
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,080
Cool.

755
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,200
All right, what's for dinner?

756
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:59,840
So you see one of the men pull out a pot and they go into the wagon where you were sleeping

757
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:04,480
and they pick up some of the feathers that you were sleeping on that had a bit of the

758
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,840
flesh still attached.

759
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:12,560
They take that slightly warmid flesh from your from your dwarven body and they pick

760
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:16,760
the flesh off of those feathers plus others throw it into the pot while it's getting to

761
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:27,960
a boil and then throw in some random tubers and vegetables and make a little little scrap

762
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:28,960
stew.

763
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,340
Better than nothing.

764
00:44:30,340 --> 00:44:34,640
They also from the reserves pull out.

765
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,880
He pulls out a bag.

766
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:42,880
And he says, oh, I want to keep my my new boy here happy.

767
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:51,000
And he pulls out a swift little hunk of cheese and throws it your way.

768
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,920
Thanks.

769
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,120
So the night goes on like that.

770
00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:02,600
You Shrek in it up in the corner and everybody else having a lively good time.

771
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,640
No, no songs.

772
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,120
I'm not Shrek in it up.

773
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,720
I'm being ever vigilant.

774
00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:12,120
Being effervescent.

775
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:16,760
Since true to her word, she doesn't sing any songs, doesn't want to attract attention.

776
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:22,440
She does, however, tell some stories strikingly enough, though, all the stories she tells

777
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:29,920
are of people that she what stories is she telling adventures she has gone on in which

778
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:40,640
the companions she was with by no fault of her own all either perish or disappear.

779
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:49,080
Every time she gets to the conclusion of one of these short tales and her companions meets

780
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:53,920
a terrible fate, she gives you a little wink.

781
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,920
I don't trust her in the slightest.

782
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:59,960
She probably doesn't want to.

783
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,040
That's the mystique.

784
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:02,880
I keep an eye on her.

785
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,360
Oh, everybody has an eye on her.

786
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,040
She's the life of the party.

787
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:14,240
You know, much everything revolves around her after the eating, the revelry, the stories

788
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:17,560
and the just all the fun.

789
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:19,560
All the fun is revolving around her.

790
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,400
And you're just right on the outs.

791
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:25,980
You're just right on the outside of it, you know, Shrek in it up.

792
00:46:25,980 --> 00:46:27,320
But that is your job.

793
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:31,400
You are here to make sure everybody is safe is safe.

794
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:40,000
And to that, everybody else lays down and begins to bed down and your watch begins.

795
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:45,600
So this this will be a good time to go over your your skills, what you are good at and

796
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,080
what you're not so good at.

797
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,400
I will say, well, that's weird.

798
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,480
For some reason, your sleight of hand is in stealth are really good, probably because

799
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:54,480
you're small.

800
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:55,480
That's strange.

801
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:56,480
Why?

802
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,480
How did you get that?

803
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:58,480
Did I pick that?

804
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,320
Oh, it's because you're a criminal.

805
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:05,080
That comes from your criminal background.

806
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,120
You get sleight of hand and stealth.

807
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:08,360
Ah, there we go.

808
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:12,320
Says you are also very adept at animal handling.

809
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:16,980
So if you need to do anything with the Axe Beaks, you are a good option for that.

810
00:47:16,980 --> 00:47:20,460
You also are very good at survival.

811
00:47:20,460 --> 00:47:26,800
So when it comes to your watch for the night, I was going to have you roll a skill to see

812
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,720
how well your watch goes.

813
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:34,360
Perception would have been decent, but you only have a plus one in perception, but you

814
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,320
have a plus three in survival.

815
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:42,520
So what we're going to do here is a little little little contest.

816
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:46,800
I have I have a DC in mind, which is a difficult a difficulty class.

817
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,720
It's what you're trying to roll against.

818
00:47:48,720 --> 00:47:57,720
I have a number in mind in my head and I need you to roll that sweet little die and I need

819
00:47:57,720 --> 00:48:03,000
you to get three successes before you get three failures.

820
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,480
So it's what you roll plus three.

821
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,520
All right, here we go.

822
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:10,600
Eight.

823
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:11,600
That's a fail.

824
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,600
Eighteen.

825
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:18,280
Yeah, well, it was a little cocked, but I'll give you the fifteen.

826
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:19,280
So eighteen.

827
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:23,280
Yeah, that's a success.

828
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:24,860
Five two making a five.

829
00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:25,860
That's a failure.

830
00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:30,720
I'm going to die on a.

831
00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:32,360
Fourteen.

832
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:33,720
That's a success.

833
00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:34,720
You are two and two.

834
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:36,560
That is a full count, baby.

835
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:39,760
Which way will this night watch go?

836
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,120
Eleven.

837
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:47,200
And he sinks it for a successful night watch.

838
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:57,040
So anytime there was a an errant sound, Pucciarelli diligently saw to it.

839
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,440
He did end up actually have it.

840
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,800
There was a what do they call them?

841
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:04,440
Not a herd of wolves pack.

842
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:08,480
A pack of wolves was scouting around the camp.

843
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,120
Did I befriend them?

844
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,480
Actually, you know what?

845
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,040
Roll, roll, roll the die.

846
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,040
Let's see.

847
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:18,920
You got what a plus three on animal handling.

848
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,000
Nope.

849
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,000
You did not.

850
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,440
That was a total of five.

851
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,120
They just didn't pay me no mind.

852
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:33,040
But yeah, they were just like, yeah, you did, however, notice the telltale signs of a looming

853
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:38,760
dire wolf in the distance that these were the scouts for.

854
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:44,800
But seeing how intimidating you were and also probably how stinky because, you know, that's

855
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:45,800
just the way it is.

856
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:46,800
It wasn't always this stinky, you know?

857
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:47,800
Yeah.

858
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:51,800
When you were living under the mountain, you know, nobody cared about how everybody was

859
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,880
stinky down there.

860
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,160
You're all stinky down there.

861
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:03,440
So you got the wolves out of there and the rest of the night passes pretty well.

862
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,140
You hear some skittering.

863
00:50:05,140 --> 00:50:08,840
You assume maybe that there's some they could be goblins.

864
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:10,960
Maybe maybe not, but you couldn't get a sign on them.

865
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:14,840
But you could hear some skittering around the camp.

866
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,280
You think maybe they were see how they were scouting you a bit.

867
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:26,240
But your presence and your intimidating, not stature, your intimidating stoutness kept

868
00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:28,720
any threats at bay.

869
00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:31,720
And then the morning comes.

870
00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:34,480
And that's a Sugar Ray song, isn't it?

871
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,960
In the morning comes and then the morning comes.

872
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,320
No, I was a smash mouth.

873
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,360
Smash mouth.

874
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,280
Exactly a Shrek song.

875
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,960
That makes sense.

876
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,920
And then everyone awakes.

877
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:56,480
Lyra stretches, looks over at you and says, what, no breakfast?

878
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,480
Do I look like someone who can cook?

879
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,640
Rocks, maybe.

880
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:01,960
I'm going to bed.

881
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:07,760
Oh, I should probably tell our caravan leader what happened last night just to keep him

882
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:08,760
up on things.

883
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:09,760
That's good.

884
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:14,440
He appreciates that you relay that information to him.

885
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:22,800
You do notice that Lyra and two of the Wagoneers are snickering and you hear one of them say

886
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,880
the words Rock Cooker.

887
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:30,180
You feel like you may have a new nickname incoming and you're probably going to want

888
00:51:30,180 --> 00:51:32,400
to skirt that, I'd imagine.

889
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,760
Yeah, I'm going to confront them.

890
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,880
Oh, confront.

891
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:41,120
Oh, that's it's really sad.

892
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:44,360
I guess maybe because of how short you are and your charisma.

893
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:50,240
Oh, I forgot to tell you, your charisma is an abysmal eight, which puts you at a negative

894
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:53,800
one modifier.

895
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:57,560
So go ahead and give me your speech and then roll me a die.

896
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:58,720
Speech.

897
00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:02,000
I'm just going over there and being like, excuse me, what the fuck are you two talking

898
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,000
about?

899
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,000
Why is it so fucking funny?

900
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,000
Nine.

901
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:16,440
Don't get your little mountain panties in too much of a twist there, Rock Cooker.

902
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:17,860
You did a good job last night.

903
00:52:17,860 --> 00:52:19,360
You're earning your pay.

904
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,440
We're only a few miles outside of town.

905
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,800
I will leave this party to its own devices.

906
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:28,200
And then you won't get any money.

907
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,860
There's tons of jobs like this around.

908
00:52:30,860 --> 00:52:34,560
You may not have intimidated him, but he definitely understands that he wants everything to go

909
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:35,560
smoothly.

910
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:40,920
I think what happens is Marlo comes over, claps that man on the back and says, Hey,

911
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:41,920
calm down here.

912
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,720
It's it's time to get moving.

913
00:52:43,720 --> 00:52:48,720
And our our great guardian here needs to get his sleep for tonight's watch.

914
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:50,760
Thanks, Marlo.

915
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:55,800
So he makes sure the feathers you had slept on the night before that had all the flesh

916
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:57,400
pulled off of them.

917
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:03,840
He he puts those back into a separate box, pulls out ones with fresh flesh on them and

918
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:05,920
puts them down for you.

919
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,480
It's something you want.

920
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,640
He he wants to tenderize the meat for tomorrow's for tomorrow's supper.

921
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,680
Hey, at least he doesn't know I've been farting on these all time.

922
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:17,520
I mean, he probably he's probably counting on that.

923
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:22,960
I would imagine like dwarf farts are have some sort of magical property.

924
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:26,760
I take out a smoke stick and light it and just contemplate things.

925
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:27,760
That's how you get to sleep.

926
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,480
That's how you get to sleep in real life, isn't it?

927
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:30,800
Smoke sticker before going to bed.

928
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:31,800
Yeah.

929
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:36,040
Smokey, smokey, get you combed and relaxed and when I wake up, smoke, I want to wake

930
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,720
up smoke before I go to bed.

931
00:53:38,720 --> 00:53:40,720
Smoke one when you forgot you smoked one.

932
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:41,720
Yeah.

933
00:53:41,720 --> 00:53:42,720
Yeah.

934
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:43,720
OK.

935
00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:48,000
So we'll go ahead, give you another roll of the.

936
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,120
What if I light myself on fire with this thing or not?

937
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:51,120
No, no, no, no, no.

938
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,680
This is oh, I forgot we have to this is during the day.

939
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:55,840
So you wake back up.

940
00:53:55,840 --> 00:54:00,720
Yeah, you sleep through the day and then you camp down for the night again.

941
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:02,120
They make the same stew.

942
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:08,720
This is, you know, it's the drudgery of the of the of the Monday through Thursday grind.

943
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:12,600
So we're back to another night watch.

944
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,320
I'm assuming things are a little more noisy tonight.

945
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,720
Kind of like Five Nights at Freddy's.

946
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:19,920
Yeah, actually, thank you for reminding me.

947
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,040
I needed to up the DC in my head.

948
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:27,080
So I case so I have a number three successes before three failures.

949
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:28,440
I'm probably dying tonight.

950
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:31,320
This is the night where fucking Freddy just comes into the goddamn office.

951
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:32,320
Oh, no.

952
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,320
Everybody will die.

953
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,320
19.

954
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:39,920
Hey, that's a success.

955
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,920
19.

956
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:43,800
19, too.

957
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,800
Oh, my God.

958
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,080
Not six or nine.

959
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:53,080
So that's a failure.

960
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:59,720
Oh, another count again, and what's going to happen?

961
00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:02,920
18 and another night.

962
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:07,200
This night, however, it's a bit more foreboding.

963
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:12,480
As you're sitting and smoking another one of your sticks, you you look out and you see

964
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:19,320
all the eyes start glowing, looking towards you towards me or towards the encampment,

965
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:23,080
towards you and you see it's the wolves.

966
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:24,080
But no.

967
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:25,080
OK.

968
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:26,080
Yeah.

969
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:29,000
If you want to try to be friends, if you want to try to be friends again, go ahead.

970
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,960
I want friends.

971
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:31,960
19.

972
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,400
I got friends.

973
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:35,400
Yeah.

974
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:41,640
I mean, I mean, actually, the DC could have been 20 and you wouldn't have had friends,

975
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,320
but no, you got friends.

976
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,880
You could tell the wolves weren't casing you.

977
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:48,540
They were just watching you.

978
00:55:48,540 --> 00:55:49,540
They were curious.

979
00:55:49,540 --> 00:55:51,660
They probably think I smell like one of them.

980
00:55:51,660 --> 00:55:52,660
You know what?

981
00:55:52,660 --> 00:55:53,920
Maybe, maybe so.

982
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:54,920
Actually, maybe.

983
00:55:54,920 --> 00:56:01,260
Yeah, maybe the the cloak you're wearing has a bit of wolf woofer on it and they weren't

984
00:56:01,260 --> 00:56:02,260
mad about it.

985
00:56:02,260 --> 00:56:06,160
They're just they were like, oh, you want to boss?

986
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:07,160
Yeah.

987
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:10,000
So how do you befriend this wolf?

988
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,080
It's not the dire wolf.

989
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,040
The dire wolf is staying far back.

990
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,040
You can kind of sense.

991
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,200
I only get one.

992
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,480
You can sense while you're going to get one.

993
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,680
You're just going to get a friend.

994
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:21,200
He's not going to live with you or anything.

995
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,200
He's just he's just going to hang out sometimes.

996
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,960
Oh, it's going to be like the fucking dog at Resident Evil 4.

997
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:26,960
Yeah.

998
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:28,640
Oh, yeah, exactly.

999
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:33,840
Or dog meat and like not in the the one dog meat and like fall out.

1000
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:38,000
Is it four or three where he doesn't stay with you all the time?

1001
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,000
He just shows up sometimes.

1002
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,000
That's three, four.

1003
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,000
He's always with you.

1004
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:42,000
OK, yeah.

1005
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:47,120
But anyway, so it's not the dire wolf because the dire wolf is still you can sense the presence

1006
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,280
of something larger in the back of the woods.

1007
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:52,840
But the one of the smaller wolves comes sniffing.

1008
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:54,400
What do you do?

1009
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,440
I reach into my pocket.

1010
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,120
I have some dried meat that's been there that I was saving for a snack.

1011
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:03,120
I break it in half and I don't personally hand it to him.

1012
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:10,020
I set his piece down next to him next to me and I just start eating my piece while he

1013
00:57:10,020 --> 00:57:13,200
walks up, sniffs it and he chooses to eat it.

1014
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:18,880
And we kind of just like sit there and he looks up at me and I reach my hand out and

1015
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,880
he lets me give him some pats.

1016
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:24,200
OK, and I tell him he's a good boy.

1017
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:25,200
Just roll a 20.

1018
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:29,200
He's going to bite my fucking hand off.

1019
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:30,200
Eleven.

1020
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,720
No, no, no, it was just an eight.

1021
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,520
That was just a straight roll.

1022
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,000
Oh, eight.

1023
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,920
The wolf farts.

1024
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:40,240
That roll is to see who farted.

1025
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:41,440
Oh, the wolf farts.

1026
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:42,440
OK.

1027
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,560
You laugh.

1028
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:44,680
You laugh.

1029
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:46,000
You bond a little bit.

1030
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,000
Yes.

1031
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,680
He gives you it's like it's like it's like the lightest.

1032
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:55,960
You know, like when an animal is not quite sure about you, but they're kind of starting

1033
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:58,440
to like you and they give you that.

1034
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,640
I think cats do this a lot more than dogs.

1035
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:01,640
I think dogs do it too.

1036
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:02,640
The boob, the snoot boob.

1037
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:05,760
The tiny little boob and lick.

1038
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:06,760
Yeah.

1039
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:10,920
The tiniest little lick, almost like you can't even tell you were licked.

1040
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:11,920
Yeah.

1041
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:13,520
I think it's just that cold nose.

1042
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:14,520
Yeah.

1043
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:21,320
And after doing that, walks away, rejoins his his pack or her pack.

1044
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:22,320
Her pack.

1045
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:23,320
Yeah.

1046
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:26,640
I want to be a little bit like Callie.

1047
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,480
And but it's not the same color as Callie.

1048
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:32,680
It's a this is a gray wolf.

1049
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:35,640
But the gray wolf walks back to the pack.

1050
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:40,240
Now roll me another 20.

1051
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,840
You got a plus one on this one.

1052
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:46,480
Ha, Nat 20.

1053
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:52,400
Oh, man, that that Nat 20 just derailed what I was doing.

1054
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:58,520
So as the wolf is walking away, you notice you've been really distracted while you were

1055
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:04,840
having your moment with your wolf, with your new wolf friend, which oh, did you name them?

1056
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:05,840
Callie.

1057
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:06,840
Callie.

1058
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:07,840
OK, yeah.

1059
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:10,360
So you were distracted.

1060
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:18,320
But before you were too distracted, you figured out that you were distracted.

1061
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:27,160
And as you turn around, you see a goblin stepping just out from the treeline.

1062
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:33,720
You absolutely can tell they were sneaking, but you caught them mid-snick.

1063
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:37,280
And it locks eyes with you.

1064
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:38,680
Deer in the headlight style.

1065
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:42,880
I guess, well, this is D&D deer in the lanterns.

1066
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:43,880
Yeah.

1067
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,480
What do you do?

1068
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,800
OK, I guess I should tell you.

1069
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:51,360
Well, what what general action would you want to do?

1070
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:55,680
Oh, this is a thinker.

1071
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:58,480
I could try and throw a knife at it.

1072
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:00,480
OK, that's what I wanted to tell you.

1073
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:01,840
You kill it.

1074
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:05,880
You have you have hand acts.

1075
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:11,480
You have you have your great acts, but you also have a hand acts that you can throw between

1076
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:12,480
20 to 60.

1077
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:14,360
I think it's 20 to 60 feet.

1078
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:15,440
How far is the end?

1079
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:19,420
Yeah, you are within that that range.

1080
01:00:19,420 --> 01:00:23,220
So if you wanted, you could attempt a hand axe throw.

1081
01:00:23,220 --> 01:00:24,220
That's the problem.

1082
01:00:24,220 --> 01:00:27,760
I attempt a hand axe throw and I miss he's going to go alert his crew.

1083
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:28,760
There is that.

1084
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:35,740
You could also you have the potential to not do enough damage to kill him in a hit.

1085
01:00:35,740 --> 01:00:37,720
But what else would you do other than attack?

1086
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:39,320
What other thoughts are there?

1087
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,400
He obviously knows that I see him.

1088
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,160
Oh, he does.

1089
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,760
You guys at this moment are still locking eyes.

1090
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:52,200
I'm not friends enough yet with the wolf to whistle for it to go and attack it.

1091
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:55,240
No, yeah, the wolves have gone.

1092
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:58,080
The wolves might have actually left because the goblins have moved in.

1093
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:01,320
Oh, I'm in a pickle.

1094
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,480
At the moment, though, you only see one goblin.

1095
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:07,240
It's going to be bad if I kill him.

1096
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:09,200
They're going to notice the scout didn't come back.

1097
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:13,920
Yeah, but if the scout comes back, then they'll know there's only one stinky, stinky dwarf

1098
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:14,920
there.

1099
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:17,200
Well, all right.

1100
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:23,680
First, I reach for my throwing axe in hopes to intimidate him.

1101
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,760
Um, OK.

1102
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:31,120
That's what's so sad because your charisma is so low.

1103
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:34,960
That negative one on intimidation just makes every time you try to intimidate somebody

1104
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:35,960
hilarious.

1105
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:36,960
Then I just reach and grab my axe.

1106
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,240
No, no, no, you already said it.

1107
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:40,440
You're doing it.

1108
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:41,800
Just go ahead and do the roll.

1109
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:44,720
It's not going to it's not going to ruin you if this fails.

1110
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:46,480
Yeah, it does.

1111
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:52,780
Yeah, no, you don't you don't intimidate him, but you do see him sort of sort of tense.

1112
01:01:52,780 --> 01:01:55,080
So imagine this is the Old West.

1113
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,000
It's a Mexican standoff.

1114
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Yeah, he tenses in in mid motion.

1115
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,720
You have your hand on your axe.

1116
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,360
Oh, he's holding his dagger.

1117
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:14,000
He's also rather near a sleeping axe beak, which could be a great amount of chaos.

1118
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:18,320
Actually, you're not sure if he was trying to sneak into the camp or if he was potentially

1119
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,020
trying to kill.

1120
01:02:20,020 --> 01:02:21,020
You know what?

1121
01:02:21,020 --> 01:02:26,080
Actually, roll me the D4 here to tell me which one of them you see.

1122
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:27,080
Goose.

1123
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:28,080
Two.

1124
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:29,080
Yeah, poor turkey.

1125
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:34,080
Shit, turkey is the most aggressive one.

1126
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:35,080
Yeah.

1127
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:40,200
But who knows what might happen to the caravan if the axbeaks get spooked in this kind of

1128
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:44,240
proximity within this little cosp in the woods?

1129
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:46,800
All I have is for a throwing implement is my throwing axe.

1130
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:50,440
I don't have like, yeah, yeah, you're not ranged.

1131
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:51,880
I have hidden knife sleeve.

1132
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,500
My other hand.

1133
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:54,500
You're not an assassin.

1134
01:02:54,500 --> 01:02:57,240
I got to take the shot.

1135
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:58,240
All right.

1136
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:01,760
You're going to attack with the hand axe for the.

1137
01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:03,720
No, my friend.

1138
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:05,600
That role is for regular checks.

1139
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:09,520
The Mr. Kool-Aid die is for attacks.

1140
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:10,520
And I'm aiming for the head.

1141
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:13,160
Yeah, it's not really a thing indeed.

1142
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:16,200
But for for posterity sake, we'll say yes.

1143
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:19,200
Aiming for the head.

1144
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:20,200
Fourteen.

1145
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:27,280
Oh, now I will say you have you have four hand axes.

1146
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:30,320
That you just nearly miss.

1147
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:34,480
You see, you see this little eyebrow that's poking out on this boy.

1148
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:40,280
Yeah, it just slices off six hairs from his eyebrow.

1149
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:43,560
And in doing that, he screeches.

1150
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:47,200
I throw another one.

1151
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,200
Sixteen.

1152
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,360
Well, you know what?

1153
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:53,120
In regular D&D, I would have had your role for initiative and do a whole thing.

1154
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:54,360
But you know what?

1155
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:55,360
I like the gumption.

1156
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,440
And you gave me slight of hand, so.

1157
01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:02,280
Yeah, we'll say we'll say you get to go fast in this instance, because you because with

1158
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:10,600
that Nat 20, I will say that you surprised Mr. Goblin.

1159
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:15,840
And considering you guys have the same dexterity, I will give you a surprise round, which was

1160
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:21,960
your first attack and your second attack with a 16 hits.

1161
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:23,360
Thunk right in the middle of the skull.

1162
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:24,360
Shots him up.

1163
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:30,880
And maybe I need you to pick up this D6 and see how much damage you deal.

1164
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:36,640
Oh, fuck me.

1165
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:40,200
And he rolls the one.

1166
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:47,120
Meaning he did one plus two or three damage.

1167
01:04:47,120 --> 01:04:50,020
The goblin shrieks again.

1168
01:04:50,020 --> 01:04:51,920
How did that sound?

1169
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:56,320
Oh, a bit more pain to this time.

1170
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,320
Oh, you know, you should hide it now.

1171
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,280
I grabbed my big axe.

1172
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:08,360
So as that happens, the goblin twirls in utter fear, kicking Turkey in the head and waking

1173
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:09,520
him up.

1174
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:15,240
Turkey lets out a large or a loud.

1175
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:19,000
As the goblin attempts to run away.

1176
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,720
But oh boy, does he hit.

1177
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:31,240
Turkey with his mighty talents and accident beak strikes down the goblin, taking just

1178
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:35,080
a big old bite out of his out of his rib cage.

1179
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:39,000
Just his torso, just a hwowth.

1180
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:42,440
And the goblin falls in a heap.

1181
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:50,600
Turkey does swallow, but Turkey then runs directly into one of the wagons, shaking it

1182
01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:55,160
up a bit, but not destroying it.

1183
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,080
The camp wakes up in a huff.

1184
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:05,280
Lyra waking up from a sound sleep, utters the words, put your rally why?

1185
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:12,400
And Turkey goes to run off again, potentially into the woods.

1186
01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:19,480
But you notice you have one shot with your excellent animal handling skills to maybe

1187
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:22,160
calm Turkey down if you decide to do so.

1188
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:24,440
Yeah, I have to try to keep this bird calm.

1189
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:31,600
I'm going to do two successes before two failures with a plus three.

1190
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:34,080
20.

1191
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:36,520
That's a dirty 20.

1192
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:39,000
Seven.

1193
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:40,000
That's a failure.

1194
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:41,000
Four.

1195
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:46,680
Ooh, but it's a natural one.

1196
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:49,080
So Turkey takes the fuck off.

1197
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:53,920
Turkey, before taking off, kicks me in the face, kicks you in the face.

1198
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:55,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll go with that.

1199
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:58,120
I wasn't even I wasn't even planning on dealing damage to you.

1200
01:06:58,120 --> 01:06:59,120
Seven damage.

1201
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:01,120
No, you take nine damage.

1202
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,120
Oh, lovely.

1203
01:07:02,120 --> 01:07:03,120
Am I dead?

1204
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:05,960
No, no, I'm down to seven.

1205
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:08,360
That would have killed Lyra.

1206
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:09,680
Funny enough.

1207
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:13,280
Yeah, you take nine damage.

1208
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:21,040
One of the one of the wagons is completely knocked in and its cargo flitters across the

1209
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:25,840
campsite and Turkey runs off into the woods.

1210
01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:31,200
Marlo looks looks at you and says, Poocharelli, what happened?

1211
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:33,600
Goblin fucking goblins.

1212
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:35,400
Isn't that why we hired you?

1213
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,200
I missed.

1214
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:40,640
Where's Turkey?

1215
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:44,640
Would you rather me help here cleaning up or do you want me to go get the bird?

1216
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:47,800
I think you've done enough in camp here, Poocharelli, for tonight.

1217
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:48,800
I'll get the bird.

1218
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:50,800
Go find Turkey.

1219
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:51,960
And into the wilderness.

1220
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:54,200
Can I have a potion, please?

1221
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:56,920
He kicked me in the face and I am rather hurt.

1222
01:07:56,920 --> 01:08:02,040
Ah, Lyra chimes up and says, I've got you.

1223
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:04,720
Oh, no.

1224
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:06,000
Hey.

1225
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,160
She heals you back up to full.

1226
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,680
What do you say to that?

1227
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:10,680
Thank you.

1228
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:15,960
Please, please just keep these people calm and help them clean up.

1229
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:17,800
I've got a bird to catch.

1230
01:08:17,800 --> 01:08:19,000
All right.

1231
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:26,920
And as Poocharelli readies himself to track down a bird named Turkey, the Axebeak, I think

1232
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,360
that's where we'll end.

1233
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:29,360
Yay.

1234
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,920
I was actually really fun.

1235
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:34,360
Thank you, Chad GPT, for healing me out there at the end.

1236
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:38,000
And I'm sorry I'm such a shitty ax thrower.

1237
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,000
I should have just.

1238
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:44,480
I mean, after I gave you the surprise and the second attack and you hit, I mean, it's

1239
01:08:44,480 --> 01:08:45,480
great.

1240
01:08:45,480 --> 01:08:48,120
Just rolling a one on the damage is just a bad.

1241
01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:52,200
I should have just charged with my ax.

1242
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:58,080
I mean, honestly, yeah, considering, yeah, you do one D12 plus two.

1243
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:00,200
So your die is double.

1244
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:01,480
You could still roll one on it.

1245
01:09:01,480 --> 01:09:02,480
Yeah, I know.

1246
01:09:02,480 --> 01:09:04,720
But you have a much better shot.

1247
01:09:04,720 --> 01:09:13,440
But yes, anybody listening to this who wants to go over any any rules that we smudged or

1248
01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:17,160
the just the the randomness that we threw in there.

1249
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:18,160
This is just for play.

1250
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:19,560
Yeah, we're just having fun with it.

1251
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:21,540
Yeah, this is this is a disclaimer.

1252
01:09:21,540 --> 01:09:26,880
This isn't meant to be a serious lesson in how to play D&D.

1253
01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:28,920
Yeah, this is just having some fun.

1254
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:32,400
I know Mike hasn't done this in a while, which is why I wanted to surprise him with it.

1255
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:36,560
Yeah, and it's fun and I'm sorry about the whole trying to be as quick as humanly possible

1256
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:37,560
and rolling the dice.

1257
01:09:37,560 --> 01:09:39,440
I'm used to fast paced combat.

1258
01:09:39,440 --> 01:09:41,120
I don't know.

1259
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:42,120
Everything worked out pretty well.

1260
01:09:42,120 --> 01:09:43,600
Yeah, it was fine.

1261
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:48,960
Honestly, with the way my my current D&D group is and how little combat we do, it's nice

1262
01:09:48,960 --> 01:09:50,440
to get into a little bit of it.

1263
01:09:50,440 --> 01:09:55,900
And that was definitely why I was rooting for you to fail one of your roles over over

1264
01:09:55,900 --> 01:10:00,720
the course of the nights, because I literally wanted to end this with a bit of combat.

1265
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:03,160
It wasn't that this wasn't crazy combat.

1266
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:07,240
And to be quite honest, I'm not sure how much theater of the mind will do.

1267
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:08,280
Hey, and I got a puppy.

1268
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:12,440
So yeah, Cali's out there somewhere and Cali mouth to make a note of that.

1269
01:10:12,440 --> 01:10:13,440
So Cali can come back.

1270
01:10:13,440 --> 01:10:18,240
But yeah, I don't know how much theater of the mind will do or if I might actually pull

1271
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:22,880
out the miniatures at some point depends on what kind of situation we've got ourselves

1272
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:23,880
in.

1273
01:10:23,880 --> 01:10:24,880
Yeah.

1274
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:27,280
So yeah, we've got a good thing going here, but you don't know when it's going to happen

1275
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,160
again when you're going to play again.

1276
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:34,840
I kind of feel like you have to give this episode to chat to BT for starting starting

1277
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:35,840
off so wonderfully.

1278
01:10:35,840 --> 01:10:36,840
Yeah.

1279
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:37,840
Thank you.

1280
01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:38,840
Chachi BT.

1281
01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:39,840
It's good to hear.

1282
01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:40,840
It's good to hear.

1283
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:43,840
Well, you're the mastermind behind it.

1284
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:44,840
I should be thanking you.

1285
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:47,040
You're the one that said, let's do a D&D campaign.

1286
01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:50,120
You know, I've been bugging you to start an actual D&D campaign recently.

1287
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:51,120
Yeah.

1288
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:55,280
So I'm going to give half the credit to you and half the credit to Chachi BT.

1289
01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:58,440
And I give my half credit to Chachi BT giving Chachi BT full credit.

1290
01:10:58,440 --> 01:11:06,980
I go ahead and roll the big, coolie man die to see if I what to see how I end this episode

1291
01:11:06,980 --> 01:11:10,160
off to.

1292
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:17,340
You know, that thing I said about Poocharelli being stinky, that comes from the fact that

1293
01:11:17,340 --> 01:11:20,520
and I'm going to shut the recording off immediately after I say it.

1294
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:21,520
No, wait a minute.

1295
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:23,240
Michael over there is a stinky.

1296
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:24,240
He's a stinky.

1297
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:25,240
He's a stinky poop.

1298
01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:26,240
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1299
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,240
He's a stinky, stinky boob.

1300
01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:34,320
If you enjoyed whatever stupid things we said in a string of words.

1301
01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:35,320
Yeah.

1302
01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:42,520
And if you like that, too, why not subscribe, follow, like, hit some kind of a heart or

1303
01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:46,520
a bell, any sort of thing on whatever platform this might be on.

1304
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:50,320
OK, I got to do this quick because I had the bubble guts.

1305
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:53,600
If you have any suggestions or thoughts or ideas on an episode or anything we should

1306
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:54,600
do.

1307
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:55,600
Oh, God.

1308
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:56,600
It's coming.

1309
01:11:56,600 --> 01:11:59,840
Please email windbreaker media at Gmail.com.

1310
01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:00,840
It's all over.

1311
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:01,840
Please.

1312
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:02,840
Oh, God.

1313
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:08,000
You know, the thing I appreciate about chat, you can see it doesn't have bodily functions

1314
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:14,440
and I don't have to hear them or smell them.

1315
01:12:14,440 --> 01:12:19,680
And I think you agree with me on this.

1316
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:21,560
See you all next time.

1317
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:26,960
We appreciate you all.