Welcome back to another episode of Shit That's
Just Life podcast with your favorite life coach,
me, Cecile. This book isn't about places. This
book is about perspective. With that being said,
I have a lovely author ready to go deep and dive
about her book. Welcome, Mrs. Birgit Itza with
Hidden Gems. Places around and within. Question
of my in here Your book about hidden gems. I
have a specific question. What does hidden gems
mean to you personally? Not just a traveler,
but as a human being So there are places within
that we Haven't been yet. Yeah, and that Has
become very clear to me within the past I would
say two, three years. And it was already before
I moved to Scotland that I noticed that some
places speak to us louder than others. Some places
call us back, some places we absolutely feel
nothing and we don't understand what the thing
is about why others are roaming about it. But
then, yeah, places that we feel at home and places
we don't feel at home or feel uncomfortable.
So these places are reflecting something that's
already in here. Whether we want to or whether
we think we're ready to meet those, to visit
those places or to revisit, because sometimes
we've been there before and we resist to the
idea of revisiting. We just kind of like, no,
no, I don't want to go there. No, no, this is
I've been there. I don't want to go there anymore.
It was scary. No, thanks. So this is as about
places in the northeast of Scotland as much as
it is about places within. OK. And the hidden
gems are about places that we think. are just
any other places. But because what they bring
out or what happens when we really dare to explore
them, this is how they become hidden gems or
things we notice. Sometimes it's about noticing
who we are, who we become when we visit or revisit
most places, whether it's a you know, around
us or more importantly within us. It's kind of
like a full circle moment, like a full circle
moment, you know? Yeah, like when we revisit
feelings or when we revisit some events that
shaped us, are we able to look at them differently?
Are we able to really allow us to sit on those
feelings, to observe? ourselves in certain situations.
Let me piggyback off that. With you saying that,
what surprised you the most about yourself while
researching or writing this book? I already knew
that my feelings are vague. And interestingly
enough, I wrote today's Instagram post about
it. And those vague feelings wasn't necessarily
something. I was proud of. Because all my life
I've heard, even now sometimes I hear how like
I'm too much. So it's natural wanting to belong.
So it's also natural to kind of like trying to
fit yourself into the expectations of others
or how they are feeling and you know just kind
of like dim those things. So this is how I had
lived the majority of my life with my dimmed
feelings, which I know were big and scared myself.
But sitting in those uncomfortable, negative
feelings and, you know, just allowing myself,
you know, and accepting all my emotions, I discovered
that my joy all of a sudden has become so much
bigger. being not judgmental, not just towards
others, but also myself. So all those positive
emotions and feelings grew as well. With that
internal journey, did you always see yourself
as someone who looks above the obvious or did
just as you were traveling, did it teach you
that? The thing is that A lot of things that
are obvious to me, that is another probably a
realization that has come to me, you know, just
writing those poems, is that what is obvious
to me is not obvious to others. So we should
never think that, oh, this is obvious, everybody
knows that. No. I was, I was speechless in the
most positive way when poets were native English
speakers. Like the reason why I put, you know,
I kind of like postponed the idea of having my
poetry in English published was because that
fear that I'm not a native speaker. My poems
are not poetry enough. Because the way I write
it's very much about like it comes to me. So
it's very much like spoken word style So it's
not like a traditional poetry and I feel like
perhaps sometimes My vocabulary is not eloquent
enough to say what I could say in Estonian, which
is my native tongue So I just consider that these
are too simple Like these are too simple to you
know to be considered real poems Because when
I read poetry in English, I'm like, oh my god,
this is so beautiful. Oh my god, this is so beautiful.
And then, but participating in and being one
of the cool feloners or poetry spoken word event.
And the feedback that I kept hearing there was
like, okay, maybe, maybe. Yeah, because I'm like,
I'm curious what. take you out of a category
from saying, hey, this is a poem. And the thing
is, I think it sounds like the comparisons, like
you're comparing, so you're taking the joy, the
thief of joy when you start to compare your poems
to the next poem because you read it. It's like,
no, a poem is something within. So when you decide
to release and put it on paper, form it as a
nice poem that's just you releasing what is what
is what's in you know yeah but that that's the
thing that for me poetry is just a form of saying
things there's one way of thinking of it like
that you know i guess yeah you can also think
of it as like um it's a part of letting the next
person that the reader that you know consumes
it letting them know there's a connection here
so Yeah, but that can be created in a different
way. That's why I distinguish the meanings between
the word authenticity and intentional. So I like
that my writing is intentional. I've got a lot
of authentic stuff in my computer. That's why
I'm saying this will never get published probably
unless it gets edited. They are written at the
states where I wasn't really me, it was my pain
speaking through me. And the way it's written
is it will hurt more than it will heal. So it
will hurt more people than it will heal some
people. So there needs to be balance. And the
thing with authentic, if we think about authenticity,
what is the age group that comes to your mind
25 and up you know probably the older if we're
being 100 true honest it would probably be the
older crowd so really i would say children you
know i think i'm starting to see as people get
older they're truly diving into their authentic
self. So I think that it's an older thing. You
know, I think as younger children, we see things
and then we're like copy and paste. But as we
get older, we start to see, you know what, I
can do this my own way. You know what, this is
what I feel. You know, so I say, I think it's
an older thing. That's just my personal opinion.
The psychologist says that children up to the
age of four are authentic. Yeah, yeah. And then
they start kind of like copying. So when a potlour
throw themselves, like a two or three year old,
throw themselves between the shelves, then they're
being very authentic because they do not know
how to cope with that. Yeah, because we can be
our authentic self. Now, the thing is, being
your authentic self at a certain age doesn't
look you know, and it doesn't come off as you
want it to be. So that's why you have to swing
from being your authentic self to intentional.
So you can say, no, this is what I meant for
you. But authentically, that's what I felt. You
know, yeah, I started crying out of nowhere because
that's what I felt. But what I meant to do is
communicate how I feel, you know, what I need
x, y, and z. So I can see that argument. Is there
a place that almost didn't make the book but
ended up changing everything? I did write some
poems just for that book. Okay. For example,
the poem Hidden Gems is written just for that
book. Just for that book. Just for that book.
So it wasn't the majority. So there are 44 poems
because I published it the age of 44. And again,
intentional. So there were 42 of those poems
were already existing in my computer. One of
them came during putting the poetry together.
So I decided I'll include that because I visited
a place so I know that I really want this to
be in there. And then I noticed that, oh, I've
got only 43 poems. I was like, Oh, why don't
I write a poem about the book and the places
in general? So I did. Do you do your best work
in quiet or chaos when it comes to writing? Quiet.
I can't write in cafes. I can observe and I can
take notes, but I can't write in crowded, noisy
places. I need peace and quiet in the door. between
the whole way and is closed. What I do have is
instrumental music that kind of like, if there
is noise outside or I've got dogs sometimes barking
upstairs, so it will just kind of like, that
music quiets, it quiets the noise that might
come from outside and creates that kind of like...
Background for me to work. So yeah, if that's
not possible, for example, I'm on a train and
I want to work I put a headphones on so I can
switch myself off. Yeah, I know I don't I don't
I can't focus on on and You know on places where
there's constant stimulation going on I can observe
I can take notes when traveling Did you ever
feel like you were in true intruding like intruding
on these places or did you just feel welcomed
as you were? going? I did feel like some of the
places felt unreal. And I was in tears that I've
had the opportunity to see those places with
my own eyes. Definitely there are places that
made me very very emotional. deeply grateful
to have this experience, to have this ability
to walk to those places because some of them
were really, really remote or difficult to access.
Did you ever question whether some places should
remain hidden, like as you were going down? Some
of these places are considered hidden gems, but
they're all None of them is, you know, only my
place or, you know, no one ever has been there
or just they... I think it's not so much about
the place. For example, there is a wee coastal
village called Coliston, which I really like.
Yeah. And I enjoy being there and I enjoy going
for a dooks there and I like the community. Yeah.
So the Coliston itself is not hidden just...
hidden gem because it's a well -known place.
But what you notice in that place, who you become
in that place, or what becomes important to you,
that is what makes this place a hidden gem or
just place like any other. So I believe that
everyone has their own list of hidden gems. yeah
but it sounds like you found like specific areas
in these places that either one has never just
thought to explore or you know what i'm saying
or it's just not let's just say known to others
you know like famously known so it sounds like
oh they are some other places are famously known
it's just they're not considered or they people
walk past a lot of well -known places without,
you know, paying attention much what was happening.
And that's, it is funny that you mentioned that
because you can correct me if I'm wrong. I feel
like this book helps slow you down in a world
that's obsessed with speed. So I feel like when
reading a book, it helps you just kind of take
a breather, observe everything around you, you
know, take it all in. Yeah, that's what the feedback
has been to that. I really want to think what
I just read. And, you know, people who have started
creative writing and they've said, you know,
all those simple, it really hits your heart,
like it touches places inside. And I'm thinking,
yes, this is why I wrote it. This works. This
works. Yeah, this works. It's got to be liberating
to hear people diving into another part of their
mentals, first off, as they're reading this book,
you know? Yeah. So that's got to be a blessing
in disguise. It's like me trying to explain things
to the inner six -year -olds, what is happening.
And by doing so, I hope that others who read
that will find something about themselves. Because
all of these things in that book have happened
to me, or it's coming to the readers through
me. This book is not about me. It is about the
reader. It is about what reader makes and thinks
on how they interpret the words and the way things
are said. Is that my work that you're reading?
Yes, yes, yes. And the thing is that when sometimes
I'm going through my computer folder and I'm
discovering poems that I can't remember that
I've written, then I have the same emotion. Hey,
did I write that? I was like, yeah, do you ever
run into something where you're like, is this
my work? Was these my words? You know? Yeah,
even with that, because that was published two
months ago. What I encourage people to do when
I'm coaching them on where I'm doing workshops
is that the first draft that you're writing,
just write everything out. Don't hold anything
back. It's just like say yes to every word that
wants to come out of you. Yeah. And that is the
writing process. This is where one part of your
brain, that creative brain is working. And people
are afraid to do that because they want this
first version to be the published version. But
the first version is never going to be the one
that ends up in the book. You're going to read
it so many times that you're sick to death of
your own writing. before it gets to the pages,
like to the publishing process, like to be an
actual book. It's fun though. It's fun though.
See, I've gotten into it. I actually enjoy getting
lost in the story. That's what made me started
wanting to interview authors because I'm like,
now I want to speak to the people who decided
to write this book because the story is always
impeccable. It's always something that I've never
expected. I'm always going down a journey that
I didn't even know existed. I like reading for
fun. I think it's fun and it just helps me. Yeah,
but this is where my editor's brain gets, it
gets in a way. So it's like when I'm reading
a book and I'm like, and you start editing as
you're reading. Oh my goodness. Yes. So this
is difficult. I find it difficult to switch that
brain off when I'm starting reading because,
you know, for my brain, okay, reading, that's
work. But as an editor and the editor brain starts
to kick in and say no that that doesn't go there
well that Yeah, yeah, that should work better
there. I just swap the chapters here or I've
read this already five times you're repeating
yourself. Do you think I'm stupid? But that's
so nice though that that because I've I've talked
to an English teacher of mine and that's how
she speaks about books So I can tell her a certain
book and she's like, I don't see how you like
that She just repeated herself in every chapter
So it shows how intentional and how much you
pay attention to detail when you're reading.
Yeah, I do pay attention to details. Thank you
for saying so. And that's another thing for I
thought, you know, just people that don't get
stuck in the details. No, I'm not getting stuck
in the details. Because if one Lisa had a small
black dot on her nose, that tiny detail would
change the painting. People don't understand
the importance of detail and they fail to realize
that The person that is very intentional. It's
going to pay attention to detail. They're the
hidden gen names, but you look at the front cover
Mm -hmm What you see that so there are tiny footprints.
Yes. Yes And when you look at the back We see
the water covers the truth. Yes So the water
has washed away the footprints So it is also
a journey when it comes to the cover design.
Nice. What was the hardest part of bringing this
book to life? Would you say logically or emotionally?
It was understanding what the book is going to
be about. Okay. So in my 2025 year of goals,
I've got like an annual plan of things, you know,
my goals that I want to achieve, the books that
I'm writing. If I know that there are conferences
or things where I'm performing, I put them all
in. So I've got an A3 sheet of paper divided
into 12 boxes. Each box is for one month. So
this is how I plan my year ahead. And for me,
that gives that kind of like that creative freedom
to do stuff. And then we were talking about how,
you know, the places that are within and how
it brings up something in us. And then I was
like, oh my God, this is my theme. This is my
theme. This is what's gonna be about Heaven Gems.
And I'm like, okay, now I've got it, now I've
got it. So it's random. It seems like it was
random. Is that how you pick your poems? Like
how do you actually pick a poem to know this
is going straight for the book, this is not going
for the book? Like how does that come about?
If it included a place, like an actual place,
it was in. Okay. Like a place. You know what
I had visited. Okay, that was in If it didn't
include that stayed out so you kept it more like
location if I go if I've been there I'm gonna
talk about it. I'm gonna wait for the book. Okay,
that's that's pretty simplifying it because I
know me personally I would have been uh, did
we talk about my feelings? Do we talk about where
I went? What do we talk about here? So I would
have been all over the place one and seventy
five. Let's try seven Seven So the poem is called
Free in the Dance. Okay, I like that. Free in
the Dance. Imagine a wind forming waves on the
sea or playing on the fields or singing along
the tops of the trees. You can also imagine a
fire with its warming flames showing lights in
those lonely chilly nights. That's me. That could
be me in your life. I might warm your hands or
test your skin. I can be your storm and your
heart. To have me in your life, you need to learn
how to dance with me. Lead me with the kind of
strength that listens before it touches. Follow
me. Play along. Learn to feel my gentle pull,
not to chase, passing shadows as mysterious as
they are. Move with me, and I will be the whispering
breeze that caresses your skin in the glens on
a hot summer's day. If you want my warmth, my
softness, my gentle movements, you need to learn
how to dance with me. My flames are a gift, not
an entitlement. Contest my heat. Instead, uncover
its source. Pay attention to me and I will light
up your night and will be the reason your trust
won't again. You cannot control the wind, only
direct it. Wind only flows when it's safe. Where
there are no walls to trap it Your forced moves
do no favors Invite me with patience You creating
a safe space for me to move graciously Is you
leading the dance instead of controlling it It's
about playfulness Not playing power games You
cannot command the flame Only look after it.
Your wants mean nothing without you clearly communicating.
You can be the one who guides or enjoys being
guided yourself. Dance is worth remembering are
born from real connection. Conversations made
of dialogues instead of monologues or countless
clues with no time to respond to anything. Give
me time to finish the twirls you initiate. Let
me be seen in your soul and heard in your heart.
Feel the rhythm shift with me. I won't be the
one who learns your moves just to please you.
They weren't really following. They just gave
you the impression they did. So you would have
the impression you had the lead. Wind and fire
get no pleasure from pretending. They are who
they are. Dancing on the field, hilltops and
seas, or in your wood -burning stove, fire pits
are as a flickering candle on a table set for
a romantic night in. And when treated wrong,
they will become storms, or wildfires, or stillness
that keeps you stuck, or the flames will just
die out. Dancing with me doesn't mean moving
constantly, but it does require consistency,
appreciation and curiosity, even in the moment
of stillness where it feels like there is nothing
to look for. Stillness is an absence. It's potential.
It's where tension builds. It's in the pause
before the spark, in the hush before the gust,
where trust grows. or the embers get soaked.
Don't expect me to dance because you like the
song or because the music is playing so loud
it's impossible to ignore. Ask me. Be present
when you do that. Ask me only if it's really
me you want to dance with. Having me in your
arms but someone else in your mind. over -reflected
in your moves, and neither of us would really
enjoy the dance with you. I can be the wind in
your sails and the fire in your desire, but if
you want to get close to me, close to my heart
and meet my soul, you really need to learn how
to dance with me. How does the brain create an
imagination like that? you know, like how do
those words come to you? Is that just, in the
room of peace, of quiet, the words just come
and flow? Is that how it works for you? Yeah,
you put it the way it is. They just come to me.
Okay. They just come to me. Sometimes it's just
one phrase. What I do in my free time, not to
think about writing, is I'm dancing. Okay. Yeah,
so I've learned a lot about myself and how to,
you know, lead my business. And I've also learned
a lot about other people attending dance classes
and social dancing. And it's very much like,
you can understand a lot about who they are as
a person, the way they are dancing. As a writer,
does it help for you to socialize and get out
more? creates new stories for you? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, very much so. Very much so. And I think
that I don't think I've been ever wrong about
the person. Yeah. After my observations, how
they are dancing, how they are leading, how they
are communicating. Okay. The way they are communicating
on the dance floor is exactly how they're communicating
verbally and, you know, just outside the dance
floor. Yes. I can agree. I can agree. Final question
for you. is if you were to write Hidden Gems
again in 10 years, what do you think would be
different about the places or about you? I think
there will be other places. Okay. And I think
some of the places that are important now wouldn't
be important in 10 years. Okay. And perhaps some
other places that I even don't know that exist,
I might have discovered. by that time. Living
is a lifelong job and a lifelong joy. One of
my core values is curiosity. One of the things
I encourage people to do is stay curious. Stay
curious about your own life, what is happening
within, how you behave in certain situations.
much about what others are doing but what it
brings in you. I can piggyback on that that it's
just focusing on what really makes you happy
because once you find out what makes you happy
then you'll know what makes you sad.