WEBVTT 00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:07.200 welcome back welcome back welcome back episode 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:12.179 58 with your girl your lovely life coach here 00:00:12.179 --> 00:00:19.280 Cecilia Cecile I'm here you guys I am here you 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:24.239 all I'm here I'm ready to get down to it I've 00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:27.000 missed you I miss just expressing myself you 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:31.109 know life has been like The government has been 00:00:31.109 --> 00:00:35.450 governmenting Everything is everywhere, you know, 00:00:35.850 --> 00:00:40.609 I say There's a tight ship here in the US and 00:00:40.609 --> 00:00:45.189 it is sinking the tight ship is sinking for sure 00:00:45.189 --> 00:00:48.810 Maybe I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna 00:00:48.810 --> 00:00:53.829 do Yeah, what am I gonna do? Yeah, I'm waiting 00:00:53.829 --> 00:00:56.670 for my man to come on a horse and just come get 00:00:56.670 --> 00:01:00.109 me. Yeah Not sure my art or armor here people 00:01:00.109 --> 00:01:03.149 just come on and You know, come get me come get 00:01:03.149 --> 00:01:05.290 your girl. Don't we go right over your shoulder. 00:01:05.670 --> 00:01:08.609 Yep. I'm ready to go just in here wait, okay 00:01:08.609 --> 00:01:12.650 No, but seriously you guys there's so much going 00:01:12.650 --> 00:01:17.730 on. Mr. Trump is just out here Being the president 00:01:17.730 --> 00:01:20.930 so I can say right now. He's being a president 00:01:20.930 --> 00:01:25.530 in the United States He's doing things Things 00:01:25.530 --> 00:01:31.799 are being done They are affecting people. People 00:01:31.799 --> 00:01:35.040 are being affected. It's just so much. I don't 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:37.299 know what else to say and how to say it, you 00:01:37.299 --> 00:01:40.680 know? I'm just trying to navigate and figure 00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:46.099 out, you know, how do you do with such a leader? 00:01:47.219 --> 00:01:51.219 How? Where do you go? I don't know. We're gonna 00:01:51.219 --> 00:01:55.819 figure it out. On this episode 58 here. You'll 00:01:55.819 --> 00:02:00.140 have a conversation with me and my twin Clarissa. 00:02:00.540 --> 00:02:03.739 Cici and Riri conversation, okay? Enough is enough. 00:02:04.379 --> 00:02:06.739 We're trying to get into that. It's time to get 00:02:06.739 --> 00:02:11.000 into that. No, seriously. You guys, we have my 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:13.939 twin sister. You have me on this next episode 00:02:13.939 --> 00:02:16.580 having a lovely conversation. I want you to hear 00:02:16.580 --> 00:02:19.860 the growth. The growth of my twin sister, you 00:02:19.860 --> 00:02:23.740 know? One thing about life, when there are... 00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:26.219 trials and tribulations in one area there's roses 00:02:26.219 --> 00:02:30.819 in another so it's nice to hear my twin growing 00:02:30.819 --> 00:02:34.159 if you guys want to hear her on the prior episodes 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:37.680 go look go listen you will hear on this episode 00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:41.199 specifically you will hear the confidence the 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:45.479 confidence is growing the conversations are growing 00:02:45.479 --> 00:02:48.580 you know we're being a little more transparent 00:02:48.580 --> 00:02:52.900 baby yeah mm -hmm we're getting straight to it 00:02:53.210 --> 00:02:58.250 But we don't care. No, but seriously, because 00:02:58.250 --> 00:03:01.030 shit, this is life. We're growing together, you 00:03:01.030 --> 00:03:07.129 know, still 27 here, growing. Yeah, we're just 00:03:07.129 --> 00:03:09.169 trying to figure out how we're going to navigate 00:03:09.169 --> 00:03:12.889 through the times that are approaching. Hopefully 00:03:12.889 --> 00:03:16.030 there are good times as well. We know there are 00:03:16.030 --> 00:03:19.330 bad ones approaching, but we're ready to navigate 00:03:19.330 --> 00:03:24.340 through both the good times, the bad times. Hey, 00:03:24.340 --> 00:03:28.560 I'm ready to put in a fight Okay, I'm not ready 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:31.979 to lose now, but I am ready to put in a fight. 00:03:32.419 --> 00:03:39.400 Okay But you guys it's time to get started Let's 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:58.919 get started You said you got her a Valentine's 00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:01.819 Day basket like this was not something that you 00:04:01.819 --> 00:04:05.099 just is it the typical thing to get for Valentine's 00:04:05.099 --> 00:04:07.419 Day is a balloon and a little hard chocolate. 00:04:07.479 --> 00:04:10.680 So I stepped outside of my comfort zone and the 00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:13.620 lady she like did baskets. It was all nice how 00:04:13.620 --> 00:04:17.050 she set it up with the balloon. Like a little 00:04:17.050 --> 00:04:19.810 art below it was it was creative. Okay, so the 00:04:19.810 --> 00:04:22.470 lady I was like I hit her up that I don't know 00:04:22.470 --> 00:04:25.589 if it was a day or the day before Definitely 00:04:25.589 --> 00:04:29.699 got to get a better with playing She made it, 00:04:29.699 --> 00:04:32.100 but it was kind of a little delay in the process. 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:34.100 She was like, oh, I'm still working on it. I'm 00:04:34.100 --> 00:04:36.079 just like, I kind of need it now. What do you 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:38.660 mean you're still working on it? You know? And 00:04:38.660 --> 00:04:41.759 so I was able to just pull up at her house and 00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.480 go get the basket. And she also had like a table 00:04:44.480 --> 00:04:47.060 of other things she was giving away. So I was 00:04:47.060 --> 00:04:49.160 able to get a couple of other things for free. 00:04:49.500 --> 00:04:53.579 And it was late that night. And I don't know 00:04:53.579 --> 00:04:57.100 if it was late at night on actual Valentine's 00:04:57.100 --> 00:05:03.100 Day. but I she was um my ex well my ex is calling 00:05:03.100 --> 00:05:07.220 and I didn't answer the phone I wasn't answering 00:05:07.220 --> 00:05:11.540 because I was in the process of planning planning 00:05:11.540 --> 00:05:14.759 however she was blowing my phone up and that 00:05:14.759 --> 00:05:16.800 worried her that she was concerned to make sure 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:20.339 I was okay and she even kind of got a little 00:05:20.339 --> 00:05:22.920 suspicious thought I was doing something when 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:27.120 I literally was Trying to do a nice gesture for 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:29.519 her. Yeah, and then when I finally pulled up 00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:32.040 in her house She saw what I was doing. She was 00:05:32.040 --> 00:05:35.579 like, oh well, why you didn't? Sometimes we don't 00:05:35.579 --> 00:05:38.040 want to tell you everything, you know, just be 00:05:38.040 --> 00:05:40.339 patient But also that's where communication just 00:05:40.339 --> 00:05:42.839 come in it because that's a proper painting. 00:05:42.839 --> 00:05:46.269 They could have happened. Yes Anything you know 00:05:46.269 --> 00:05:48.970 anything could have happened at the time from 00:05:48.970 --> 00:05:51.189 me picking up that basket to me delivering it 00:05:51.189 --> 00:05:54.009 to her And that's all it took was for me to say 00:05:54.009 --> 00:05:57.709 hey, I'm headed to you now. I was busy I just 00:05:57.709 --> 00:05:59.810 I couldn't communicate it better So, you know, 00:05:59.850 --> 00:06:02.490 it's just it's knowing like if you're gonna do 00:06:02.490 --> 00:06:06.470 something like that Everything is time -consuming. 00:06:06.910 --> 00:06:10.930 Yeah, so sometimes we we take on projects and 00:06:10.930 --> 00:06:14.459 not think about the time Picking up flowers to 00:06:14.459 --> 00:06:16.779 bring to somebody it's still a little project, 00:06:16.860 --> 00:06:20.939 but also it still involves time Yeah, so just 00:06:20.939 --> 00:06:23.959 like I tell you With my boyfriend he did that 00:06:23.959 --> 00:06:26.740 pick me up from the airport brought me half flowers 00:06:26.740 --> 00:06:30.279 in the car But yet he was like 30 30 to 40 minutes 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:35.199 late. Yeah, and after a non 10 -hour flight you 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:37.740 tired. I'm tired. I'm exhausted You give them 00:06:37.740 --> 00:06:40.680 saying but I was I was it was lovely that he 00:06:40.680 --> 00:06:42.319 brought me flowers and I was stuck on that part 00:06:42.379 --> 00:06:44.839 So that part, I was like, you know what? I'm 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:46.899 gonna let it slide because I love flowers, you 00:06:46.899 --> 00:06:49.180 know? Also just thinking about the bigger picture 00:06:49.180 --> 00:06:52.009 of... It was a 10 -hour flight. Yeah, it was 00:06:52.009 --> 00:06:53.949 like everything doesn't have to be perfect. Just 00:06:53.949 --> 00:06:55.829 your presence itself is enough. You picking me 00:06:55.829 --> 00:06:59.569 up was perfect. Your presence itself is enough 00:06:59.569 --> 00:07:02.290 and when you realize that you have to know that'll 00:07:02.290 --> 00:07:05.250 kind of relieve you when you don't have those 00:07:05.250 --> 00:07:07.250 flowers that day. You would just be like, well, 00:07:07.250 --> 00:07:09.329 let me just go see my baby. Let me make sure 00:07:09.329 --> 00:07:11.470 I'm early so I can be there when she gets off 00:07:11.470 --> 00:07:15.470 that plane. Yes. And so that's where me just 00:07:15.470 --> 00:07:17.689 being more intentional now because I'm just like, 00:07:17.689 --> 00:07:19.370 I'm not going to be late when it comes. with 00:07:19.370 --> 00:07:22.509 the stuff like, let me just plan this a week 00:07:22.509 --> 00:07:25.649 ahead, two weeks ahead. So if anything does happen, 00:07:25.670 --> 00:07:28.170 I can just make my own basket, you know? And 00:07:28.170 --> 00:07:30.930 that's probably, what the lady did, I honestly 00:07:30.930 --> 00:07:33.250 probably could have did it myself. You know, 00:07:33.329 --> 00:07:37.449 it was me supporting her business and also, you 00:07:37.449 --> 00:07:40.389 know, just buying something. I didn't have the 00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:42.860 time to just. I would have been blessed if my 00:07:42.860 --> 00:07:45.500 baby would have picked a little flower from outside 00:07:45.500 --> 00:07:49.120 and brought it in and said, here you go. I'm 00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:53.139 simple. With her, she would have been satisfied 00:07:53.139 --> 00:07:55.939 with that. Here I am just trying to be extra. 00:07:56.199 --> 00:07:59.019 After a nine hour flight, baby. But it was lovely. 00:07:59.139 --> 00:08:01.480 It was lovely for aesthetics. You get what I'm 00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:03.560 saying? For the aesthetics, this was beautiful. 00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:06.699 But for the reality of somebody that lives in 00:08:06.699 --> 00:08:08.560 reality that just got off a nine hour flight, 00:08:08.980 --> 00:08:11.800 baby, I'm tired. Yeah. The most I've needed is 00:08:11.800 --> 00:08:16.259 some love food and a nap. That's it. It's just 00:08:16.259 --> 00:08:18.480 like when you love someone, you go all out. You 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:20.379 try to make it perfect. Oh yeah, and you should. 00:08:20.379 --> 00:08:22.660 You just have to realize that profession is not, 00:08:22.899 --> 00:08:25.720 it doesn't exist. Yeah, so what you do is you 00:08:25.720 --> 00:08:28.139 do your best. And I love anybody that does their 00:08:28.139 --> 00:08:31.079 best. So my boyfriend, he does his best. And 00:08:31.079 --> 00:08:33.039 he goes above and beyond, and you get appreciated 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:36.259 for that, for doing your best. You're not perfect, 00:08:36.259 --> 00:08:38.399 so that means if you buy flowers, that means 00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:41.480 you might be late. It's like yeah, he knows I'm 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:44.159 gonna appreciate him for doing his best and it's 00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:47.259 like I'm doing these things so I can I believe 00:08:47.259 --> 00:08:51.720 in going hard mm -hmm no matter what because 00:08:51.720 --> 00:08:55.259 If this is the one or you say this is the one 00:08:55.259 --> 00:08:58.139 I'm gonna show you through my actions like hey 00:08:58.139 --> 00:09:01.059 i mean this i'm intentional i don't care if you 00:09:01.059 --> 00:09:02.620 freaking mad at me i'm still gonna come to your 00:09:02.620 --> 00:09:04.960 house and bring you those flowers yeah i'm still 00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:07.580 gonna go ahead and order you that breakfast even 00:09:07.580 --> 00:09:09.220 when you say you're not hungry but i know you're 00:09:09.220 --> 00:09:11.659 hungry yeah you know and so that's just learning 00:09:11.659 --> 00:09:15.100 somebody and being intentional and hearing and 00:09:15.100 --> 00:09:17.320 seeing them as the person that they are yeah 00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:19.940 so because he's very intentional as well considering 00:09:19.940 --> 00:09:21.700 like we got into it we was getting into it like 00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:24.269 a week before i got there Look at me your mother's 00:09:24.269 --> 00:09:26.590 like like not even heavy just having disagreements 00:09:26.590 --> 00:09:29.110 before I got there and then I'm just like yo 00:09:29.110 --> 00:09:31.230 I'm two days away. I really don't want to have 00:09:31.230 --> 00:09:32.950 any more disagreements. I've got to get ready 00:09:32.950 --> 00:09:36.169 for the long flight mentally Yeah, and that's 00:09:36.169 --> 00:09:37.929 what I was preparing for her So then when I you 00:09:37.929 --> 00:09:40.309 know got through the flight and I got there I 00:09:40.309 --> 00:09:42.629 wasn't expecting for him to have roses or flowers 00:09:42.629 --> 00:09:45.789 in the car, you know, so it was a lovely gesture 00:09:45.789 --> 00:09:47.950 You know, especially considering we had just 00:09:47.950 --> 00:09:51.389 had disagreements. So it was like You know seeing 00:09:51.389 --> 00:09:54.340 you was nice, but Oh, baby, those flowers, they 00:09:54.340 --> 00:09:56.179 put the icing on the cake. They made it be like, 00:09:56.320 --> 00:10:01.960 OK, OK, OK. You know, so it put the just put 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:06.059 the cherry on top. Yeah, I think that was dope. 00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:09.799 So, right, like we are legacies. Yeah, you know, 00:10:09.940 --> 00:10:12.059 and that's why I didn't realize I'm just like, 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:15.360 hey, I did leave a legacy at that nursing home. 00:10:15.940 --> 00:10:18.759 People remember me from if somebody said, hey, 00:10:18.860 --> 00:10:22.389 do you remember Clarissa? Oh, yeah. She used 00:10:22.389 --> 00:10:25.389 to come in the room and help us out. Like, just 00:10:25.389 --> 00:10:29.190 me being the good character. You know, me. You 00:10:29.190 --> 00:10:31.570 can even call them to this day and then... I 00:10:31.570 --> 00:10:35.470 know I can call Mr. Acapul. Yeah, I've called 00:10:35.470 --> 00:10:37.889 him before, but I also, I feel like with him, 00:10:38.289 --> 00:10:43.450 I didn't... I feel like with Mr. Acapul, I feel 00:10:43.450 --> 00:10:46.110 like he had these high standards for me. Like, 00:10:46.429 --> 00:10:49.360 I feel like I had to pretend to be someone. Well, 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:52.200 I say that in a way because I had my hopes and 00:10:52.200 --> 00:10:54.820 dreams set up on Kansas State University. Mm 00:10:54.820 --> 00:10:57.100 -hmm. Did that happen? It didn't. I went somewhere 00:10:57.100 --> 00:10:59.980 in Iowa. Mm -hmm. So I feel like I failed them 00:10:59.980 --> 00:11:02.539 because I didn't fulfill this goal that I've 00:11:02.539 --> 00:11:04.600 been talking about. Then it's like, oh, my son 00:11:04.600 --> 00:11:07.179 works at Kansas State University. I'm looking 00:11:07.179 --> 00:11:08.919 forward to see you there. And I feel like that's 00:11:08.919 --> 00:11:10.820 where I failed. Mm -hmm. Because I'm like, dang, 00:11:11.139 --> 00:11:13.019 I didn't go to this school. I didn't go to college. 00:11:13.019 --> 00:11:15.000 I'm supposed to be here. Yeah. You know, this 00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:17.470 and this and that. I'm just like... that wasn't 00:11:17.470 --> 00:11:19.950 that maybe that wasn't a part of God's plan yeah 00:11:19.950 --> 00:11:24.850 God had me go to Iowa away from you know this 00:11:24.850 --> 00:11:28.850 so I am just grateful to just have the opportunity 00:11:28.850 --> 00:11:30.809 to go to college yeah because that's what it 00:11:30.809 --> 00:11:33.210 is allowed me to just look at it differently 00:11:33.210 --> 00:11:36.450 like oh oh okay you know you say if you want 00:11:36.450 --> 00:11:38.549 to make our lab tell them your plans that's exactly 00:11:38.549 --> 00:11:40.830 what happened yeah I said I'm gonna go to Kansas 00:11:40.830 --> 00:11:44.690 State I'm gonna play D1 I went to Iowa and I 00:11:44.690 --> 00:11:49.700 was playing NCAA D1. NCAA is not the N -A -I 00:11:49.700 --> 00:11:51.840 -A. That's not the main. Well, you will not be 00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:55.960 into the Big 12 in NCAA. Yeah. You know, and 00:11:55.960 --> 00:11:59.779 just the team itself, we didn't make it to the 00:11:59.779 --> 00:12:02.519 finals or anything. So, you know, I've always 00:12:02.519 --> 00:12:05.899 wanted a ring, like a basketball ring. And you 00:12:05.899 --> 00:12:08.240 can always have your ring. It's up to you how 00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:09.659 you get your ring. Like, I wanted to work hard 00:12:09.659 --> 00:12:12.139 for the ring, like play ball to get the ring. 00:12:12.139 --> 00:12:14.100 Yeah. Because it just doesn't feel right to just 00:12:14.100 --> 00:12:16.690 go buy a ring. It's just the blood, sweat, and 00:12:16.690 --> 00:12:19.289 tears behind that ring that means so much. But 00:12:19.289 --> 00:12:21.970 also, shit, the way the world is looking, you 00:12:21.970 --> 00:12:24.210 can just go buy them. People are pinding those 00:12:24.210 --> 00:12:27.929 rings, you know? So... Because in our reality, 00:12:29.330 --> 00:12:32.909 the reality of that is more work. That means 00:12:32.909 --> 00:12:35.970 I gotta put in more work to get this little medal 00:12:35.970 --> 00:12:38.450 thing to prove that I've worked hard, right? 00:12:38.649 --> 00:12:42.210 Yeah. But outside of that, the bigger picture 00:12:42.210 --> 00:12:45.220 is that in our reality... I did put in the work. 00:12:45.379 --> 00:12:47.919 I came here every day. I chose this as my hobby. 00:12:48.279 --> 00:12:51.419 I chose to do this. That's the work right there. 00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:53.759 Because some people don't even know how to choose 00:12:53.759 --> 00:12:55.480 what they're gonna do. Some people just don't 00:12:55.480 --> 00:12:56.899 even know what I'm doing. I don't know if I'm 00:12:56.899 --> 00:12:58.200 going to college. I don't know what college. 00:12:58.379 --> 00:13:00.059 I don't know. You knew what college you was going 00:13:00.059 --> 00:13:04.460 to. You knew what sport you wanted to play. That 00:13:04.460 --> 00:13:08.139 is the ring. Yeah, and you know, it's so funny 00:13:08.139 --> 00:13:09.639 how you were saying that because I was actually 00:13:09.639 --> 00:13:13.789 going to make like an analysis. Basically like 00:13:13.789 --> 00:13:17.850 me not gonna me I was already wearing the ring, 00:13:17.850 --> 00:13:20.389 but not physically. It was a mental ring. It 00:13:20.389 --> 00:13:24.149 was a you know physical well not physical but 00:13:24.149 --> 00:13:29.169 in emotional ring because not only did I Go to 00:13:29.169 --> 00:13:31.190 this school that I didn't even plan to go to 00:13:31.190 --> 00:13:33.350 it was a private college Didn't even freaking 00:13:33.350 --> 00:13:36.450 know about you know, which means it's more expensive. 00:13:36.450 --> 00:13:40.370 It's in the country, but also 2018 losing my 00:13:40.370 --> 00:13:43.330 mom during the process of me getting through 00:13:43.330 --> 00:13:46.889 college isn't a ring that I was wearing and so 00:13:46.889 --> 00:13:50.409 I had to stop limiting myself on this ring physically 00:13:50.409 --> 00:13:55.750 and Expand what ring I was actually wearing just 00:13:55.750 --> 00:14:00.669 emotionally mentally You know you had to really 00:14:00.669 --> 00:14:02.809 you really had to sit back and just pat yourself 00:14:02.809 --> 00:14:05.490 on the back You know pat yourself on the back 00:14:05.490 --> 00:14:07.450 for going to college pet yourself on the back 00:14:07.450 --> 00:14:11.500 for Choosing the sport and stay into it to the 00:14:11.500 --> 00:14:14.000 bay the moment I passed the ball to the wrong 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:16.980 team when I play basketball I gave up. Yeah, 00:14:16.980 --> 00:14:18.980 as soon as I pass the ball to the wrong team. 00:14:19.179 --> 00:14:21.919 I gave up I was like this is not for me y 'all 00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:24.220 got me fucked up Why would she take the ball 00:14:24.220 --> 00:14:31.769 if she knew I wasn't on her team? That also was 00:14:31.769 --> 00:14:34.250 a test to see if you'll give up when things get 00:14:34.250 --> 00:14:37.590 hard, yeah You just have to know yourself You 00:14:37.590 --> 00:14:39.350 have to know which how far you're willing to 00:14:39.350 --> 00:14:41.970 do go and what you're willing to do. Mm -hmm 00:14:41.970 --> 00:14:44.850 You know, sometimes you got to get dirty. You 00:14:44.850 --> 00:14:48.669 just got to get dirty to get to Where you want 00:14:48.669 --> 00:14:50.889 to go and then sometimes you got to learn when 00:14:50.889 --> 00:14:53.629 to give up so you're like the I would say I'm 00:14:53.629 --> 00:14:57.649 the example of Knowing that I can give up easy. 00:14:57.830 --> 00:15:01.870 You're the example of Prolonging giving up exactly 00:15:01.870 --> 00:15:05.450 because I'm determined enough to say okay, if 00:15:05.450 --> 00:15:08.250 I didn't get it now I'm gonna still keep trying 00:15:08.250 --> 00:15:11.850 even if even if I'm supposed to not to Even if 00:15:11.850 --> 00:15:13.590 I'm not supposed to be trying I'm still gonna 00:15:13.590 --> 00:15:16.830 try but the thing is I'm just adding extra weight 00:15:16.830 --> 00:15:19.269 on my load Yeah, that doesn't even have to be 00:15:19.269 --> 00:15:22.370 there. Yes. It's just like it's a fake dead line 00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:25.360 You get what I'm saying? It's an unrealistic 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:27.220 deadline. It's a fake deadline in our brains. 00:15:27.340 --> 00:15:28.679 Like, I gotta get this, I gotta get that, I gotta 00:15:28.679 --> 00:15:32.899 get that. Says who? Yeah, it's just like, you 00:15:32.899 --> 00:15:36.659 know, what I've learned is it's literally the 00:15:36.659 --> 00:15:40.419 journey that is the ring. Yes. It's never the 00:15:40.419 --> 00:15:42.960 destination because once you get there, boom. 00:15:43.179 --> 00:15:45.480 You got it and you're not even satisfied because 00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:47.639 they say it's like you still feel empty inside 00:15:47.639 --> 00:15:50.799 because now that you got it They say what's next 00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:53.039 and then you your hunger for more, you know, 00:15:53.039 --> 00:15:55.700 right? And so you're just like, okay. Well, I 00:15:55.700 --> 00:15:58.299 got this license now now how to get in the shop 00:15:58.299 --> 00:16:00.379 Okay now when you get in the shop and things 00:16:00.379 --> 00:16:03.960 don't go the way that you thought it'll go Now 00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:05.759 you're ready to give up. So what is it? What 00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:09.379 is it that you truly want? You know, so anything 00:16:09.379 --> 00:16:13.899 is you want the opportunity to try Yeah, that's 00:16:13.899 --> 00:16:16.220 it. You want the opportunity to try once you 00:16:16.220 --> 00:16:18.559 humble yourself to say, you know what? I just 00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:21.039 want the opportunity to try to see what I can 00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:24.340 do for myself I want to try to see if I can push 00:16:24.340 --> 00:16:27.659 myself, but I also want to remember that It's 00:16:27.659 --> 00:16:30.399 a game. I'm just having fun. You know, I'm just 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:32.419 this is all a game. That's it It's like I can 00:16:32.419 --> 00:16:34.759 tell you that all the time I said for somebody 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:36.519 to play basketball. You don't look at life as 00:16:36.519 --> 00:16:39.279 a game because that's all it is for somebody 00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:42.669 that was always playing basketball that knew 00:16:42.669 --> 00:16:45.529 when to pass the ball, when to hold the ball, 00:16:45.669 --> 00:16:48.889 when to shoot. It's like you don't know when 00:16:48.889 --> 00:16:52.429 to stop playing the game. And you see, you know 00:16:52.429 --> 00:16:55.610 how you said that. You know? It's so funny because... 00:16:55.580 --> 00:16:58.799 Had to change my perspective from the game. I 00:16:58.799 --> 00:17:01.679 had to stop looking at the actual physical basketball 00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:05.200 game Yeah, and and focus my mind. I had to change 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:08.259 my the IQ that I have for the game I have to 00:17:08.259 --> 00:17:12.319 change it if we direct my IQ to life apply it 00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:14.380 to life Yeah, and I would tell you yeah It's 00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:16.940 like me dribbling the ball down the court and 00:17:16.940 --> 00:17:20.079 going through my opponents. My trials is the 00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:23.119 opposition That's it. And so me getting to that 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:27.039 that Going doing the layup in the paint scoring. 00:17:27.299 --> 00:17:31.380 That's my destination. That's it. So Hey, it's 00:17:31.380 --> 00:17:33.200 all a game. You know, there's the ring. That's 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:38.599 the ring. Yeah So the ring that you you was fisting 00:17:38.599 --> 00:17:42.039 on it's a yo, you already got it I was I was 00:17:42.039 --> 00:17:43.799 already wearing it. I just didn't physically 00:17:43.799 --> 00:17:48.819 see it You don't have a little more proof, but 00:17:48.819 --> 00:17:50.519 I ain't done it. I already did the proof is in 00:17:50.519 --> 00:17:55.230 the pudding Yeah, and that's where it all begins. 00:17:55.769 --> 00:17:58.670 We're supposed to believe in the unseen. We get 00:17:58.670 --> 00:18:02.349 so fixated on seeing things that we see that 00:18:02.349 --> 00:18:04.690 sometimes we don't even take risks because we 00:18:04.690 --> 00:18:09.029 don't see what's going to happen. We lack the 00:18:09.029 --> 00:18:11.789 ability to control, and now we start to move 00:18:11.789 --> 00:18:15.009 with fear and doubt. And so we have to keep going 00:18:15.009 --> 00:18:18.680 no matter what. Whether we see or don't see it 00:18:18.680 --> 00:18:21.779 Everything just like they say they said if God 00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:23.579 will tell you where he's taking you you wouldn't 00:18:23.579 --> 00:18:26.720 even want to go Okay, so that's why he will guide 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:31.779 you. He will send you give you options a glance 00:18:31.779 --> 00:18:35.160 of what you can have option, but He gives you 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:37.279 the reward. He's not going to give you those 00:18:37.279 --> 00:18:39.140 trials. He's not going to tell you the storm 00:18:39.140 --> 00:18:43.480 You know so because that's the journey a part 00:18:43.480 --> 00:18:45.880 of the part of me and grateful is knowing that 00:18:45.819 --> 00:18:48.240 Nothing's easy. And I used to tell you that if 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:52.559 anybody can have it then We all have it if it 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:55.180 was easy. I specifically told you if it was easy 00:18:55.180 --> 00:18:58.079 to anybody have it. Yeah, good I'm saying so 00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:00.160 I'm just saying go man. I believe if it was easy 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:04.319 what we all have right? Yeah, and like this, 00:19:04.980 --> 00:19:07.279 you know, it was selfish of me of thinking that 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:12.269 I would get something easily Kudos to those people 00:19:12.269 --> 00:19:15.910 who've gotten handouts. Their family had it and 00:19:15.910 --> 00:19:21.390 they left something. Jesus was persecuted. Jesus 00:19:21.390 --> 00:19:26.150 was someone who was perfect. He lived a sinless 00:19:26.150 --> 00:19:29.609 life. He didn't do sin. But he sacrificed his 00:19:29.609 --> 00:19:32.450 own life so he could be here because of our sins. 00:19:33.849 --> 00:19:38.460 So that just made me think. why not me when situations 00:19:38.460 --> 00:19:42.500 happen? I'm not perfect. Who the heck am I for 00:19:42.500 --> 00:19:44.799 it not to happen to me? Yeah, and I used to tell 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:46.980 you that. I used to ask you like, I'd be like, 00:19:47.059 --> 00:19:48.759 why you think that would happen to you? And you'd 00:19:48.759 --> 00:19:51.920 be like, what? Why would I say something? I'd 00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:53.119 be like, yo, I'm not trying to be mean. That 00:19:53.119 --> 00:19:55.079 was my pride. Yeah, I was like, I'm not trying 00:19:55.079 --> 00:19:57.119 to be mean. But I think sometimes you'd be so 00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:59.059 fisted and all. I could do what I could do. It 00:19:59.059 --> 00:20:01.299 was like, but what if you can't? Because the 00:20:01.299 --> 00:20:04.549 thing is, what if God ain't? Sending you to do 00:20:04.549 --> 00:20:06.609 that. What if that's not your purpose? What if 00:20:06.609 --> 00:20:09.210 his answer is no? Exactly. What if that's not 00:20:09.210 --> 00:20:10.509 the purpose that you got to hear? He's like, 00:20:10.509 --> 00:20:11.990 I know that's what you want to be through, but 00:20:11.990 --> 00:20:15.569 no. That's not what you're here for. You know? 00:20:15.970 --> 00:20:18.410 You already been working. And he's taking you 00:20:18.410 --> 00:20:21.009 out of the structure of working. He's letting 00:20:21.009 --> 00:20:25.089 you thrive and just being, you know, spontaneous. 00:20:25.250 --> 00:20:29.690 Have fun. Do random things. Just sing. Being 00:20:29.690 --> 00:20:33.579 more open just to life itself. To life. Realize 00:20:33.579 --> 00:20:35.900 that the work that you claiming that you need 00:20:35.900 --> 00:20:38.779 to do more on, you already didn't done it. You 00:20:38.779 --> 00:20:41.420 already doing it. And knowing that I'm already... 00:20:41.420 --> 00:20:44.339 You are work. I'm already enough. I already have 00:20:44.339 --> 00:20:47.079 enough. Look, everything that we have is additional. 00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:51.980 I don't need it to survive. You know, it's good 00:20:51.980 --> 00:20:57.220 to have. But when you start to dictate what you... 00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:01.700 need and what you don't need, then you can start 00:21:01.700 --> 00:21:04.680 to look at life from a different perspective. 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:08.200 Yeah. And just know that when you're enough, 00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:12.119 you know that you are work within itself. So 00:21:12.119 --> 00:21:16.259 baby girl, you stress God out by yourself. So 00:21:16.259 --> 00:21:19.359 we stress him out with the prayers. We overwhelm 00:21:19.359 --> 00:21:21.480 him with a lot of things. So the least that we 00:21:21.480 --> 00:21:25.930 can do is be open. to optimistic, be open to 00:21:25.930 --> 00:21:28.890 uncertainty. Walk by faith and not by sight. 00:21:28.950 --> 00:21:31.930 There you go. And that's just, that's it. You 00:21:31.930 --> 00:21:34.809 know? That's the most that you can do, just be 00:21:34.809 --> 00:21:36.670 a little more open and have fun with it, you 00:21:36.670 --> 00:21:40.710 know? Unapologetically, you know? Yeah. You know, 00:21:40.789 --> 00:21:43.809 just realize that I've done what I needed to 00:21:43.809 --> 00:21:47.890 do and I'm gonna be excited about the next few. 00:21:48.540 --> 00:21:51.619 20s enjoying my 20s and then going to my 30s 00:21:51.619 --> 00:21:55.380 and I'm ready to stand on my my nose and my yeses 00:21:55.380 --> 00:21:59.099 my non -negotiables everything you know it's 00:21:59.099 --> 00:22:01.339 been appreciative rewarding yourself for the 00:22:01.339 --> 00:22:04.619 small wins because those small wins oh they mean 00:22:04.619 --> 00:22:09.779 a lot when you reward yourself yeah But I learned 00:22:09.779 --> 00:22:12.740 to be more kind to myself to know that I don't 00:22:12.740 --> 00:22:15.420 have to do it all alone I don't have to because 00:22:15.420 --> 00:22:17.579 the more you do it alone the longer it takes 00:22:17.579 --> 00:22:21.099 you to get there. There you go. So Building a 00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:24.480 team and having a team it takes a village, you 00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:28.460 know and having a team You can get there so much 00:22:28.460 --> 00:22:30.420 quicker with a team than you can with yourself. 00:22:30.900 --> 00:22:33.599 Yeah We may want to do it our own way, but what 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:37.079 a team Not only will we get there but we can 00:22:37.079 --> 00:22:41.700 get there quicker and also it'll be more efficient 00:22:41.700 --> 00:22:46.619 like it will be more it's just it just hits different 00:22:46.619 --> 00:22:48.940 when you're in a community when you have people 00:22:48.940 --> 00:22:54.259 that you have accountability to take opportunity 00:22:55.140 --> 00:22:59.420 We're in a supporting environment, love. It's 00:22:59.420 --> 00:23:02.259 just so much different versus trying to do everything 00:23:02.259 --> 00:23:04.859 by yourself. Yeah, and that's just the same way 00:23:04.859 --> 00:23:07.519 as you are entering into a partnership with a 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:09.740 person. You want to make sure there's somebody 00:23:09.740 --> 00:23:12.160 that knows how to take accountability, somebody 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:15.220 that's respectful, somebody that wants to build, 00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:18.420 somebody that's fun, but still has structure. 00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:21.980 Balance. You have a balance of everything. That's 00:23:21.980 --> 00:23:24.180 what you're learning now. You're going into your 00:23:24.180 --> 00:23:28.700 balance phase of half structure, half fun. You 00:23:28.700 --> 00:23:31.440 know, it doesn't have to be one and all. You 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.480 know, all in one. You can just have both. You 00:23:33.480 --> 00:23:35.880 can have a balance. A little structure and a 00:23:35.880 --> 00:23:38.680 little fun. That's why I say, don't be afraid 00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:41.400 to stay up at night till 10 a .m. You know, I'm 00:23:41.400 --> 00:23:44.799 at 10 p .m. or eat after 10 p .m. Like, girl, 00:23:45.019 --> 00:23:47.720 what schedule are you on? Yeah, I'm just trying 00:23:47.720 --> 00:23:51.700 not to... Get comfortable with that because they 00:23:51.700 --> 00:23:55.380 do say that what you do now is preparing you 00:23:55.380 --> 00:23:58.079 for tomorrow So if you get comfortable with eating 00:23:58.079 --> 00:24:00.859 after ten every single that becomes a habit that 00:24:00.859 --> 00:24:04.140 becomes comfortability But it's more like don't 00:24:04.140 --> 00:24:06.779 yeah, don't don't not enjoy the company of me 00:24:06.779 --> 00:24:09.400 Like I say, I know I'll be leaving soon and then 00:24:09.400 --> 00:24:11.819 these are the moments you'll miss. Yeah, you 00:24:11.819 --> 00:24:13.910 get what I'm saying Yeah, I have to ease up, 00:24:13.990 --> 00:24:16.130 you know, because when somebody is gone, you 00:24:16.130 --> 00:24:18.089 know, they're gone. You just never know what 00:24:18.089 --> 00:24:20.230 tomorrow, what happens tomorrow. You don't worry 00:24:20.230 --> 00:24:23.710 about tomorrow. You just be present and spend, 00:24:23.710 --> 00:24:26.890 you know, be intentional. You won't really miss 00:24:26.890 --> 00:24:29.569 the part where we used to sew shirts together 00:24:29.569 --> 00:24:31.910 and help each other. Just like, well, hey, I 00:24:31.910 --> 00:24:34.809 was we were there. You know, I was there. This 00:24:34.809 --> 00:24:37.490 is the moment, you know, everything is literally. 00:24:37.869 --> 00:24:40.849 Turning you everything that you go through is 00:24:40.849 --> 00:24:43.230 a memory. So just like you have to be intentional, 00:24:43.230 --> 00:24:46.569 you know Sometimes we can get fixated on working 00:24:46.569 --> 00:24:49.170 and sometimes you can just work so much that 00:24:49.170 --> 00:24:52.289 you push people away And that's not what I would 00:24:52.289 --> 00:24:54.710 ever want to do Yeah, cuz I've had my times where 00:24:54.710 --> 00:24:58.630 I just was just working focusing on oh making 00:24:58.630 --> 00:25:00.650 money to pay bills and this and that but now 00:25:00.650 --> 00:25:05.529 as I'm able to change Just have a better understanding 00:25:05.529 --> 00:25:08.420 about life itself. It's keeping the people that 00:25:08.420 --> 00:25:11.500 you love, cherishing those people every moment 00:25:11.500 --> 00:25:15.460 you get with them. Yeah. Watching people be crazy. 00:25:15.559 --> 00:25:17.859 Even if it's just 10 minutes, those 10 minutes 00:25:17.859 --> 00:25:21.059 can be major, you know? Yeah, I like watching 00:25:21.059 --> 00:25:23.059 people be crazy. I like watching people grow, 00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:25.900 watching people explode, watching people love, 00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:28.619 just watching people. You get what I'm saying? 00:25:29.019 --> 00:25:30.700 Yeah. It's nothing like watching people. It's 00:25:30.700 --> 00:25:32.539 kind of like watching animals. You get what I'm 00:25:32.539 --> 00:25:34.099 saying? You watch them get crazy, watch them 00:25:34.099 --> 00:25:36.400 eat, you watch them love, you watch them rebirth. 00:25:36.750 --> 00:25:39.670 I like watching people. It's nothing like that, 00:25:39.690 --> 00:25:43.769 because the people are funny. I'll tell you that. 00:25:43.849 --> 00:25:46.089 People are hilarious. Whether they come to you 00:25:46.089 --> 00:25:50.450 with some lies, an excuse. The clearer you are, 00:25:50.490 --> 00:25:53.950 the more conscious that you grow, the more your 00:25:53.950 --> 00:25:56.589 emotional challenges grow. You're able to see 00:25:56.589 --> 00:25:58.509 through people's lives, and that's why they're 00:25:58.509 --> 00:26:02.309 funny. You know? It's like, that's not what you 00:26:02.309 --> 00:26:06.559 meant. But okay. So it means no harm, but it 00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:09.000 just shows that they're just still growing. That's 00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:12.279 it. You know, it's hard to hate people. I say 00:26:12.279 --> 00:26:13.700 it all the time. It's like, it's really hard 00:26:13.700 --> 00:26:16.839 to hate people. People are hilarious, you know? 00:26:17.220 --> 00:26:20.220 Now people are not always the smartest, but it's 00:26:20.220 --> 00:26:24.380 really hard to hate us, you know? Yeah, but you 00:26:24.380 --> 00:26:26.740 know, I thought that was a pretty good conversation 00:26:26.740 --> 00:26:30.720 here. Reminiscing with you, hearing your growth, 00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:36.169 you know, another episode with you girl. Cecilia 00:26:36.169 --> 00:26:39.130 Episode 58. Well shit. That's just life, you 00:26:39.130 --> 00:26:42.549 know what nice to hear your growth Larissa, you 00:26:42.549 --> 00:26:45.690 know Yeah, I mean it's still gonna be growth. 00:26:45.789 --> 00:26:48.190 You know growth never stops. There's no expiration 00:26:48.190 --> 00:26:50.890 dates. It's growth I don't care how old you are. 00:26:51.069 --> 00:26:52.769 You know, this is some it's just a part of life 00:26:52.769 --> 00:26:54.769 And you gotta have fun when they long as you 00:26:54.769 --> 00:26:57.650 enjoy it. You're gonna be like, yep, I'm still 00:26:57.650 --> 00:27:01.259 growing You know You gotta be, you gotta have 00:27:01.259 --> 00:27:03.180 fun with it. Know that you don't know everything 00:27:03.180 --> 00:27:05.980 and you're okay with that. You're still growing, 00:27:06.900 --> 00:27:12.119 you know? But, we're gonna head out of here. 00:27:12.859 --> 00:27:16.799 It was a pleasure speaking with you. Bye.