welcome back welcome back welcome back episode
58 with your girl your lovely life coach here
Cecilia Cecile I'm here you guys I am here you
all I'm here I'm ready to get down to it I've
missed you I miss just expressing myself you
know life has been like The government has been
governmenting Everything is everywhere, you know,
I say There's a tight ship here in the US and
it is sinking the tight ship is sinking for sure
Maybe I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna
do Yeah, what am I gonna do? Yeah, I'm waiting
for my man to come on a horse and just come get
me. Yeah Not sure my art or armor here people
just come on and You know, come get me come get
your girl. Don't we go right over your shoulder.
Yep. I'm ready to go just in here wait, okay
No, but seriously you guys there's so much going
on. Mr. Trump is just out here Being the president
so I can say right now. He's being a president
in the United States He's doing things Things
are being done They are affecting people. People
are being affected. It's just so much. I don't
know what else to say and how to say it, you
know? I'm just trying to navigate and figure
out, you know, how do you do with such a leader?
How? Where do you go? I don't know. We're gonna
figure it out. On this episode 58 here. You'll
have a conversation with me and my twin Clarissa.
Cici and Riri conversation, okay? Enough is enough.
We're trying to get into that. It's time to get
into that. No, seriously. You guys, we have my
twin sister. You have me on this next episode
having a lovely conversation. I want you to hear
the growth. The growth of my twin sister, you
know? One thing about life, when there are...
trials and tribulations in one area there's roses
in another so it's nice to hear my twin growing
if you guys want to hear her on the prior episodes
go look go listen you will hear on this episode
specifically you will hear the confidence the
confidence is growing the conversations are growing
you know we're being a little more transparent
baby yeah mm -hmm we're getting straight to it
But we don't care. No, but seriously, because
shit, this is life. We're growing together, you
know, still 27 here, growing. Yeah, we're just
trying to figure out how we're going to navigate
through the times that are approaching. Hopefully
there are good times as well. We know there are
bad ones approaching, but we're ready to navigate
through both the good times, the bad times. Hey,
I'm ready to put in a fight Okay, I'm not ready
to lose now, but I am ready to put in a fight.
Okay But you guys it's time to get started Let's
get started You said you got her a Valentine's
Day basket like this was not something that you
just is it the typical thing to get for Valentine's
Day is a balloon and a little hard chocolate.
So I stepped outside of my comfort zone and the
lady she like did baskets. It was all nice how
she set it up with the balloon. Like a little
art below it was it was creative. Okay, so the
lady I was like I hit her up that I don't know
if it was a day or the day before Definitely
got to get a better with playing She made it,
but it was kind of a little delay in the process.
She was like, oh, I'm still working on it. I'm
just like, I kind of need it now. What do you
mean you're still working on it? You know? And
so I was able to just pull up at her house and
go get the basket. And she also had like a table
of other things she was giving away. So I was
able to get a couple of other things for free.
And it was late that night. And I don't know
if it was late at night on actual Valentine's
Day. but I she was um my ex well my ex is calling
and I didn't answer the phone I wasn't answering
because I was in the process of planning planning
however she was blowing my phone up and that
worried her that she was concerned to make sure
I was okay and she even kind of got a little
suspicious thought I was doing something when
I literally was Trying to do a nice gesture for
her. Yeah, and then when I finally pulled up
in her house She saw what I was doing. She was
like, oh well, why you didn't? Sometimes we don't
want to tell you everything, you know, just be
patient But also that's where communication just
come in it because that's a proper painting.
They could have happened. Yes Anything you know
anything could have happened at the time from
me picking up that basket to me delivering it
to her And that's all it took was for me to say
hey, I'm headed to you now. I was busy I just
I couldn't communicate it better So, you know,
it's just it's knowing like if you're gonna do
something like that Everything is time -consuming.
Yeah, so sometimes we we take on projects and
not think about the time Picking up flowers to
bring to somebody it's still a little project,
but also it still involves time Yeah, so just
like I tell you With my boyfriend he did that
pick me up from the airport brought me half flowers
in the car But yet he was like 30 30 to 40 minutes
late. Yeah, and after a non 10 -hour flight you
tired. I'm tired. I'm exhausted You give them
saying but I was I was it was lovely that he
brought me flowers and I was stuck on that part
So that part, I was like, you know what? I'm
gonna let it slide because I love flowers, you
know? Also just thinking about the bigger picture
of... It was a 10 -hour flight. Yeah, it was
like everything doesn't have to be perfect. Just
your presence itself is enough. You picking me
up was perfect. Your presence itself is enough
and when you realize that you have to know that'll
kind of relieve you when you don't have those
flowers that day. You would just be like, well,
let me just go see my baby. Let me make sure
I'm early so I can be there when she gets off
that plane. Yes. And so that's where me just
being more intentional now because I'm just like,
I'm not going to be late when it comes. with
the stuff like, let me just plan this a week
ahead, two weeks ahead. So if anything does happen,
I can just make my own basket, you know? And
that's probably, what the lady did, I honestly
probably could have did it myself. You know,
it was me supporting her business and also, you
know, just buying something. I didn't have the
time to just. I would have been blessed if my
baby would have picked a little flower from outside
and brought it in and said, here you go. I'm
simple. With her, she would have been satisfied
with that. Here I am just trying to be extra.
After a nine hour flight, baby. But it was lovely.
It was lovely for aesthetics. You get what I'm
saying? For the aesthetics, this was beautiful.
But for the reality of somebody that lives in
reality that just got off a nine hour flight,
baby, I'm tired. Yeah. The most I've needed is
some love food and a nap. That's it. It's just
like when you love someone, you go all out. You
try to make it perfect. Oh yeah, and you should.
You just have to realize that profession is not,
it doesn't exist. Yeah, so what you do is you
do your best. And I love anybody that does their
best. So my boyfriend, he does his best. And
he goes above and beyond, and you get appreciated
for that, for doing your best. You're not perfect,
so that means if you buy flowers, that means
you might be late. It's like yeah, he knows I'm
gonna appreciate him for doing his best and it's
like I'm doing these things so I can I believe
in going hard mm -hmm no matter what because
If this is the one or you say this is the one
I'm gonna show you through my actions like hey
i mean this i'm intentional i don't care if you
freaking mad at me i'm still gonna come to your
house and bring you those flowers yeah i'm still
gonna go ahead and order you that breakfast even
when you say you're not hungry but i know you're
hungry yeah you know and so that's just learning
somebody and being intentional and hearing and
seeing them as the person that they are yeah
so because he's very intentional as well considering
like we got into it we was getting into it like
a week before i got there Look at me your mother's
like like not even heavy just having disagreements
before I got there and then I'm just like yo
I'm two days away. I really don't want to have
any more disagreements. I've got to get ready
for the long flight mentally Yeah, and that's
what I was preparing for her So then when I you
know got through the flight and I got there I
wasn't expecting for him to have roses or flowers
in the car, you know, so it was a lovely gesture
You know, especially considering we had just
had disagreements. So it was like You know seeing
you was nice, but Oh, baby, those flowers, they
put the icing on the cake. They made it be like,
OK, OK, OK. You know, so it put the just put
the cherry on top. Yeah, I think that was dope.
So, right, like we are legacies. Yeah, you know,
and that's why I didn't realize I'm just like,
hey, I did leave a legacy at that nursing home.
People remember me from if somebody said, hey,
do you remember Clarissa? Oh, yeah. She used
to come in the room and help us out. Like, just
me being the good character. You know, me. You
can even call them to this day and then... I
know I can call Mr. Acapul. Yeah, I've called
him before, but I also, I feel like with him,
I didn't... I feel like with Mr. Acapul, I feel
like he had these high standards for me. Like,
I feel like I had to pretend to be someone. Well,
I say that in a way because I had my hopes and
dreams set up on Kansas State University. Mm
-hmm. Did that happen? It didn't. I went somewhere
in Iowa. Mm -hmm. So I feel like I failed them
because I didn't fulfill this goal that I've
been talking about. Then it's like, oh, my son
works at Kansas State University. I'm looking
forward to see you there. And I feel like that's
where I failed. Mm -hmm. Because I'm like, dang,
I didn't go to this school. I didn't go to college.
I'm supposed to be here. Yeah. You know, this
and this and that. I'm just like... that wasn't
that maybe that wasn't a part of God's plan yeah
God had me go to Iowa away from you know this
so I am just grateful to just have the opportunity
to go to college yeah because that's what it
is allowed me to just look at it differently
like oh oh okay you know you say if you want
to make our lab tell them your plans that's exactly
what happened yeah I said I'm gonna go to Kansas
State I'm gonna play D1 I went to Iowa and I
was playing NCAA D1. NCAA is not the N -A -I
-A. That's not the main. Well, you will not be
into the Big 12 in NCAA. Yeah. You know, and
just the team itself, we didn't make it to the
finals or anything. So, you know, I've always
wanted a ring, like a basketball ring. And you
can always have your ring. It's up to you how
you get your ring. Like, I wanted to work hard
for the ring, like play ball to get the ring.
Yeah. Because it just doesn't feel right to just
go buy a ring. It's just the blood, sweat, and
tears behind that ring that means so much. But
also, shit, the way the world is looking, you
can just go buy them. People are pinding those
rings, you know? So... Because in our reality,
the reality of that is more work. That means
I gotta put in more work to get this little medal
thing to prove that I've worked hard, right?
Yeah. But outside of that, the bigger picture
is that in our reality... I did put in the work.
I came here every day. I chose this as my hobby.
I chose to do this. That's the work right there.
Because some people don't even know how to choose
what they're gonna do. Some people just don't
even know what I'm doing. I don't know if I'm
going to college. I don't know what college.
I don't know. You knew what college you was going
to. You knew what sport you wanted to play. That
is the ring. Yeah, and you know, it's so funny
how you were saying that because I was actually
going to make like an analysis. Basically like
me not gonna me I was already wearing the ring,
but not physically. It was a mental ring. It
was a you know physical well not physical but
in emotional ring because not only did I Go to
this school that I didn't even plan to go to
it was a private college Didn't even freaking
know about you know, which means it's more expensive.
It's in the country, but also 2018 losing my
mom during the process of me getting through
college isn't a ring that I was wearing and so
I had to stop limiting myself on this ring physically
and Expand what ring I was actually wearing just
emotionally mentally You know you had to really
you really had to sit back and just pat yourself
on the back You know pat yourself on the back
for going to college pet yourself on the back
for Choosing the sport and stay into it to the
bay the moment I passed the ball to the wrong
team when I play basketball I gave up. Yeah,
as soon as I pass the ball to the wrong team.
I gave up I was like this is not for me y 'all
got me fucked up Why would she take the ball
if she knew I wasn't on her team? That also was
a test to see if you'll give up when things get
hard, yeah You just have to know yourself You
have to know which how far you're willing to
do go and what you're willing to do. Mm -hmm
You know, sometimes you got to get dirty. You
just got to get dirty to get to Where you want
to go and then sometimes you got to learn when
to give up so you're like the I would say I'm
the example of Knowing that I can give up easy.
You're the example of Prolonging giving up exactly
because I'm determined enough to say okay, if
I didn't get it now I'm gonna still keep trying
even if even if I'm supposed to not to Even if
I'm not supposed to be trying I'm still gonna
try but the thing is I'm just adding extra weight
on my load Yeah, that doesn't even have to be
there. Yes. It's just like it's a fake dead line
You get what I'm saying? It's an unrealistic
deadline. It's a fake deadline in our brains.
Like, I gotta get this, I gotta get that, I gotta
get that. Says who? Yeah, it's just like, you
know, what I've learned is it's literally the
journey that is the ring. Yes. It's never the
destination because once you get there, boom.
You got it and you're not even satisfied because
they say it's like you still feel empty inside
because now that you got it They say what's next
and then you your hunger for more, you know,
right? And so you're just like, okay. Well, I
got this license now now how to get in the shop
Okay now when you get in the shop and things
don't go the way that you thought it'll go Now
you're ready to give up. So what is it? What
is it that you truly want? You know, so anything
is you want the opportunity to try Yeah, that's
it. You want the opportunity to try once you
humble yourself to say, you know what? I just
want the opportunity to try to see what I can
do for myself I want to try to see if I can push
myself, but I also want to remember that It's
a game. I'm just having fun. You know, I'm just
this is all a game. That's it It's like I can
tell you that all the time I said for somebody
to play basketball. You don't look at life as
a game because that's all it is for somebody
that was always playing basketball that knew
when to pass the ball, when to hold the ball,
when to shoot. It's like you don't know when
to stop playing the game. And you see, you know
how you said that. You know? It's so funny because...
Had to change my perspective from the game. I
had to stop looking at the actual physical basketball
game Yeah, and and focus my mind. I had to change
my the IQ that I have for the game I have to
change it if we direct my IQ to life apply it
to life Yeah, and I would tell you yeah It's
like me dribbling the ball down the court and
going through my opponents. My trials is the
opposition That's it. And so me getting to that
that Going doing the layup in the paint scoring.
That's my destination. That's it. So Hey, it's
all a game. You know, there's the ring. That's
the ring. Yeah So the ring that you you was fisting
on it's a yo, you already got it I was I was
already wearing it. I just didn't physically
see it You don't have a little more proof, but
I ain't done it. I already did the proof is in
the pudding Yeah, and that's where it all begins.
We're supposed to believe in the unseen. We get
so fixated on seeing things that we see that
sometimes we don't even take risks because we
don't see what's going to happen. We lack the
ability to control, and now we start to move
with fear and doubt. And so we have to keep going
no matter what. Whether we see or don't see it
Everything just like they say they said if God
will tell you where he's taking you you wouldn't
even want to go Okay, so that's why he will guide
you. He will send you give you options a glance
of what you can have option, but He gives you
the reward. He's not going to give you those
trials. He's not going to tell you the storm
You know so because that's the journey a part
of the part of me and grateful is knowing that
Nothing's easy. And I used to tell you that if
anybody can have it then We all have it if it
was easy. I specifically told you if it was easy
to anybody have it. Yeah, good I'm saying so
I'm just saying go man. I believe if it was easy
what we all have right? Yeah, and like this,
you know, it was selfish of me of thinking that
I would get something easily Kudos to those people
who've gotten handouts. Their family had it and
they left something. Jesus was persecuted. Jesus
was someone who was perfect. He lived a sinless
life. He didn't do sin. But he sacrificed his
own life so he could be here because of our sins.
So that just made me think. why not me when situations
happen? I'm not perfect. Who the heck am I for
it not to happen to me? Yeah, and I used to tell
you that. I used to ask you like, I'd be like,
why you think that would happen to you? And you'd
be like, what? Why would I say something? I'd
be like, yo, I'm not trying to be mean. That
was my pride. Yeah, I was like, I'm not trying
to be mean. But I think sometimes you'd be so
fisted and all. I could do what I could do. It
was like, but what if you can't? Because the
thing is, what if God ain't? Sending you to do
that. What if that's not your purpose? What if
his answer is no? Exactly. What if that's not
the purpose that you got to hear? He's like,
I know that's what you want to be through, but
no. That's not what you're here for. You know?
You already been working. And he's taking you
out of the structure of working. He's letting
you thrive and just being, you know, spontaneous.
Have fun. Do random things. Just sing. Being
more open just to life itself. To life. Realize
that the work that you claiming that you need
to do more on, you already didn't done it. You
already doing it. And knowing that I'm already...
You are work. I'm already enough. I already have
enough. Look, everything that we have is additional.
I don't need it to survive. You know, it's good
to have. But when you start to dictate what you...
need and what you don't need, then you can start
to look at life from a different perspective.
Yeah. And just know that when you're enough,
you know that you are work within itself. So
baby girl, you stress God out by yourself. So
we stress him out with the prayers. We overwhelm
him with a lot of things. So the least that we
can do is be open. to optimistic, be open to
uncertainty. Walk by faith and not by sight.
There you go. And that's just, that's it. You
know? That's the most that you can do, just be
a little more open and have fun with it, you
know? Unapologetically, you know? Yeah. You know,
just realize that I've done what I needed to
do and I'm gonna be excited about the next few.
20s enjoying my 20s and then going to my 30s
and I'm ready to stand on my my nose and my yeses
my non -negotiables everything you know it's
been appreciative rewarding yourself for the
small wins because those small wins oh they mean
a lot when you reward yourself yeah But I learned
to be more kind to myself to know that I don't
have to do it all alone I don't have to because
the more you do it alone the longer it takes
you to get there. There you go. So Building a
team and having a team it takes a village, you
know and having a team You can get there so much
quicker with a team than you can with yourself.
Yeah We may want to do it our own way, but what
a team Not only will we get there but we can
get there quicker and also it'll be more efficient
like it will be more it's just it just hits different
when you're in a community when you have people
that you have accountability to take opportunity
We're in a supporting environment, love. It's
just so much different versus trying to do everything
by yourself. Yeah, and that's just the same way
as you are entering into a partnership with a
person. You want to make sure there's somebody
that knows how to take accountability, somebody
that's respectful, somebody that wants to build,
somebody that's fun, but still has structure.
Balance. You have a balance of everything. That's
what you're learning now. You're going into your
balance phase of half structure, half fun. You
know, it doesn't have to be one and all. You
know, all in one. You can just have both. You
can have a balance. A little structure and a
little fun. That's why I say, don't be afraid
to stay up at night till 10 a .m. You know, I'm
at 10 p .m. or eat after 10 p .m. Like, girl,
what schedule are you on? Yeah, I'm just trying
not to... Get comfortable with that because they
do say that what you do now is preparing you
for tomorrow So if you get comfortable with eating
after ten every single that becomes a habit that
becomes comfortability But it's more like don't
yeah, don't don't not enjoy the company of me
Like I say, I know I'll be leaving soon and then
these are the moments you'll miss. Yeah, you
get what I'm saying Yeah, I have to ease up,
you know, because when somebody is gone, you
know, they're gone. You just never know what
tomorrow, what happens tomorrow. You don't worry
about tomorrow. You just be present and spend,
you know, be intentional. You won't really miss
the part where we used to sew shirts together
and help each other. Just like, well, hey, I
was we were there. You know, I was there. This
is the moment, you know, everything is literally.
Turning you everything that you go through is
a memory. So just like you have to be intentional,
you know Sometimes we can get fixated on working
and sometimes you can just work so much that
you push people away And that's not what I would
ever want to do Yeah, cuz I've had my times where
I just was just working focusing on oh making
money to pay bills and this and that but now
as I'm able to change Just have a better understanding
about life itself. It's keeping the people that
you love, cherishing those people every moment
you get with them. Yeah. Watching people be crazy.
Even if it's just 10 minutes, those 10 minutes
can be major, you know? Yeah, I like watching
people be crazy. I like watching people grow,
watching people explode, watching people love,
just watching people. You get what I'm saying?
Yeah. It's nothing like watching people. It's
kind of like watching animals. You get what I'm
saying? You watch them get crazy, watch them
eat, you watch them love, you watch them rebirth.
I like watching people. It's nothing like that,
because the people are funny. I'll tell you that.
People are hilarious. Whether they come to you
with some lies, an excuse. The clearer you are,
the more conscious that you grow, the more your
emotional challenges grow. You're able to see
through people's lives, and that's why they're
funny. You know? It's like, that's not what you
meant. But okay. So it means no harm, but it
just shows that they're just still growing. That's
it. You know, it's hard to hate people. I say
it all the time. It's like, it's really hard
to hate people. People are hilarious, you know?
Now people are not always the smartest, but it's
really hard to hate us, you know? Yeah, but you
know, I thought that was a pretty good conversation
here. Reminiscing with you, hearing your growth,
you know, another episode with you girl. Cecilia
Episode 58. Well shit. That's just life, you
know what nice to hear your growth Larissa, you
know Yeah, I mean it's still gonna be growth.
You know growth never stops. There's no expiration
dates. It's growth I don't care how old you are.
You know, this is some it's just a part of life
And you gotta have fun when they long as you
enjoy it. You're gonna be like, yep, I'm still
growing You know You gotta be, you gotta have
fun with it. Know that you don't know everything
and you're okay with that. You're still growing,
you know? But, we're gonna head out of here.
It was a pleasure speaking with you. Bye.