Okay. So we're going to classify social media
platforms as areas of the country. Okay. So Facebook
has now become the villages in Florida. It is
full of old people who are either having way
too much fun or they're having some really bad
problems and are yelling at the clouds. Okay.
Facebook is the villages. Am I wrong? It's 100
% true. I agree. Okay. MySpace is that mall that
you used to go to all the time that you drive
by that's been bulldozed, right? That nobody
has rebuilt that lot yet. Like, nobody could
figure out what to do with it. And it's just
an empty lot now. But every time you drive by
it, you're like, remember that mall? That was
cool. Blockbuster. Now, Blockbuster was way cooler
than MySpace ever was. Whoa, MySpace was sick.
Blockbuster was sicker. I don't know. Facebook
is a sentient age of a board. That's no. Sorry,
if we're doing this now. Next door, I don't know
how many of you are familiar with the next door
app. Next door is a social media. It's a localized
social media app where you can talk about the
things that are happening in your neighborhood.
And it is the sentient HOA board full of parents
who are telling you exactly where you should
be parking your car and why are there cops on
that street and what's this new business and
what are you doing? OK, and the kids, the kids
are running around with no parents and and for
shame. for shame okay that is what next door
is okay chat you can go ahead and throw out your
your social media apps that you want us to talk
about um tiktok is vegas okay it is short it
does it like The reason you can't get away from
it is because everything's changing every 60
seconds and it's just sensory overload. OK, TikTok
is the Las Vegas of social media apps. That's
really what it is. Occasionally, you see boots
and occasionally, apparently now you see boobs.
OK. Twitter, Twitter is probably the most difficult
one. And yes, I still refuse to call it X. Right
Elon can take a flying leap. It's still Twitter
Yeah, still Twitter. Even they there's a documentary
on Twitter and even the creators of Twitter still
they said they still call it Twitter. Okay, Twitter
Twitter is that that part of town? That's trying
to always act like it's better than it is Right.
They want to be the rich part of town. They want
to be the really nice upscale area. So they plant
these fancy trees and they do this stuff and
they make these big, bright buildings and things
like that. But in the building is a strip mall
with a dollar general. OK, you're trying really
hard. OK, you're trying really, really hard to
be really nice and upscale and fancy and just
failing at it. So I'm thinking like. Are you
thinking, I don't know, awful. I'm thinking so
for doing it in the Seattle world where we all
live, it's federal way. Federal way always wants
to be Bellevue, but it's not going to be Bellevue.
It's never going to be Bellevue, but it tries.
It really wants to. It really wants to be good
threads. I will tell you what threads is threads
is the. is the the threads is more of a person
than a place. No, actually, sorry. No, I can't.
Was that Chuck E. Cheese threads, which is the
one that Facebook came up with that was supposed
to be the Twitter killer. Right. When when they
switched over to X threads, now threads is not
Kent. Threads is the church where everybody's
trying to be really, really hip, but they're
really just a bunch of whiny little goody two
shoes. They're like, hey kids, are you down with
J USES? Like they're the one that has the rock
band for youth group rock band for youth group
and they really want to be hip and they really
want to be cool and they try to appeal to the
high school kids and all the real hip people
Right and you don't have to wear a suit to church
and you can wear jeans and flip -flops or shorts
and flip -flops But really you're still just
a bunch of nerds Yeah Yeah, that sounds about
right for this social media platform that I haven't
really heard of Yeah, I I know I spelled Jesus
wrong. Leave me alone chat Blue sky Blue sky
is that small town In fact what blue sky is blue
sky is is cannon beach, Oregon, right? Right,
but it's so tiny quaint and nobody really knows
like unless you're from the Pacific Northwest
nobody really knows about it right and it's cute
it's nice right but it's never gonna be big you
know and it's never gonna be the destination
does that make sense yeah I haven't spent enough
time on mastodon Discord is a junior high school
boys locker room. I don't I don't know where
everybody's kind of half edgy, but not really
smart enough or cool enough to be really edgy.
I don't know because it's not as crazy as 4chan.
Yeah, I would say high school locker room. Yeah.
Yeah. Discord is a high school boys locker room.
That's what it is. I'm on Blue Sky. Yep. Case
in point. Blue Sky is Pawnee, Indiana. I've never
been to Pawnee, Indiana, so you're going to have
to take your word for it. Who else did we get
there? Did we get anything else? Twitch. I will
tell you exactly what Twitch is. Twitch is the
high school cable access channel. High school
cable access. Yeah, like we're any of those bigger
high schools that have like a production program
Right where the kids do like video announcements
and school news and things like that. It's the
high school internal TV station Okay, that's
what twitch is And everybody on it things are
cooler than they are I don't know I don't I would
say like twitch is more like a robotics club
of a high school. Okay. Snapchat. That's tough.
I don't have to think. Let me come back to Snapchat.
Instagram. Gosh, there's so many social media.
There is. This is this is also very revealing
in how many social media platforms there are.
Dear God. I like this one so Instagram Instagram
I want to make it a place not because I keep
coming of like a personification of Instagram,
but I'm trying to make it a place I just think
about that one too. There's gonna be place YouTube
is any sci -fi show set in Vancouver Says the
YouTube chat that That might be pretty close
to the truth. That might be pretty close to it.
Truth social is Montgomery, Alabama. Oh, oh,
is that the Donald Trump one? Yeah. That is Montgomery,
Alabama. No, it's not Texas, because see, there's
just enough like neat stuff in Texas where Texas
is always Texas is never quite falling down a
hole. Right. Because there's just enough cool
shit in Texas to keep it from being a complete
dumpster fire. To socials, Montgomery, Alabama.
I will say a lot of people from the Pacific Northwest
is currently relocating to Texas. Even today
at work. Whole group of people were talking about
legit moving to Texas. Up. Right. I think YouTube
got it. Snapchat is Miami. No memories because
that cocaine hit differently. And you're going
to put some shit on there that you probably shouldn't
have. You're from Florida. Would you would you
agree that with that one? Snapchat is Miami.
Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right. And I never
I was never really on Snapchat. So so we're calling
it now snapchat is Miami. So as somebody who's
from Florida because I think I forget what Instagram
is What is the place that everybody wants to
act like is as cool as Miami, but isn't in, Florida
As cool as like where they're like it's as cool
as Miami and you're like no, it's not I would
say like maybe to me. I would say Jacksonville.
Okay Insta do people try and like act like it's
kind of hip and cool and But really they're just
fronting Yeah, okay Instagram is Jacksonville
somebody in the chat. What about Tampa? What
do we say about Tampa? Tampa No No Tampa did
no Because like Tampa to me was like always like
really nice because you have like the giant aquarium
and then typically if you live in Tampa you work
I believe you work in like Disney or something
but yeah you know I don't I don't know like Tampa
Tampa's pretty nice so all right so we're going
with we're going with Jacksonville Jacksonville
all right Instagram sorry you're Jacksonville
You got stuck there. Alright, that was actually
kind of a fun little topic. I think we've run
out of social media platforms to talk about for
right now though. So what do you think? What
do you think of our assigning these locations
to different social media platforms? I think
that's a funny concept. Let us know where you
would put these places in the comments below.