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Welcome to another deep dive.

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Today we're gonna be talking about something

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we all do every day, but probably don't think about too much.

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And what's that?

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Speaking and listening.

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Ah, right.

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Like breathing, we just do it.

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Exactly.

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But what if we could do it better, more intentionally?

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That's what we're gonna explore today.

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Sounds good to me.

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Our guide for this deep dive is sound expert Julian Treasure.

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His TED Talk on speaking is one of the most popular ever.

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Oh, I've seen that one.

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But here's the thing.

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His talk on listening, not so much.

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Hmm, that's interesting.

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I guess we're all a little more focused

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on getting our own point across sometimes.

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Maybe, but Treasure argues that listening

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is just as important as speaking.

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In fact, it might even be more so.

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But first, let's talk about speaking with impact.

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Okay, so how do we do that?

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Well, I think we've all been there, right?

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Desperately wanting to be heard,

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whether it's at work, in a relationship,

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or even just online.

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Oh, absolutely.

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That's that human need to feel understood to connect.

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Exactly.

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And Treasure has this framework for powerful speaking

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that he calls hail.

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It stands for honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love.

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Okay, I like that.

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So it's not just about being a good speaker.

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It's about being a good person.

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Kind of.

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It's about aligning your words with your true self.

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Makes sense.

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People can spot a fake a mile away, right?

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Right.

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Remember that CEO who posted that crying selfie

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after laying off all those employees?

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Oh yeah, that was rough.

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Talk about inauthenticity.

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Totally backfire.

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People saw right through it.

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And I think trying to maintain a persona that isn't,

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you must be exhausting.

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Like some celebrities always having to be on.

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I bet it is.

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It reminds me of how I used to feel doing presentations.

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So nervous about every word being perfect.

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Oh, me too.

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But I've learned over time that it's better

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to just be myself, let my personality shine through.

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You know, that's what people connect with at Genuine Energy,

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which brings us back to listening.

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Something we often overlook.

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It's funny, right?

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Treasure speaking TED Talk, super popular.

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His listening one, not so much.

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What does that say about us?

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Well, maybe it shows that we value speaking over listening.

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We're all so eager to share our thoughts,

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but are we really taking the time

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to hear what others have to say?

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Good point.

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So how do we become better listeners?

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Well, Treasure has a framework for that too.

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He calls it RSA, receive, appreciate, summarize, and ask.

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Okay, break it down for me.

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What does that actually look like in a conversation?

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So receive means being fully present.

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Put away your phone, make eye contact,

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really focus on what the other person is saying.

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Okay, got it.

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Be present.

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What about appreciate?

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Appreciate means acknowledging their perspective.

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Even if you don't agree with them,

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you can say things like, I see your point,

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or that's interesting.

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Got it.

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So acknowledge their perspective.

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Yeah.

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And then summarize.

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Make sure you've understood them correctly.

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You can paraphrase what they've said

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or ask clarifying questions.

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Oh, like what I'm hearing you say is.

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Exactly.

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And finally, ask.

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Asking questions shows that you're genuinely interested

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and encourages them to elaborate.

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So it's about being engaged,

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not just passively listening.

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Exactly.

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Now it's like that thing Treasure talks about,

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stress-induced audio dysfunction.

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He gives an example of his father,

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who in his later years,

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became deaf to the frequency of his wife's nagging.

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Wait, really?

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Yeah.

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It's like our brains can literally tune out sounds

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we don't want to hear.

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Crazy, right?

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That is crazy.

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I wonder what we're all tuning out

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without even realizing it.

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It makes you think, doesn't it?

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Are we truly listening to our loved ones,

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our colleagues, even ourselves?

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Or are we letting stress and distractions

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filter out important messages?

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That's a good point.

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It reminds me of how important active listening is

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in conflict resolution.

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Absolutely.

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Whether it's a disagreement with a partner

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or a tough negotiation at work,

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when both sides feel heard,

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it can de-escalate tension and hurt you find common ground.

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We've all been in those arguments

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where no one is really listening

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and it just gets worse and worse.

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Right.

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Active listening can change the whole dynamic

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of a conversation.

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So speaking authentically and listening actively

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can have a huge impact on our relationships and our lives.

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Absolutely.

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And we've only just scratched the surface.

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We need to move beyond words now

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and explore the power of sound itself.

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Okay, let's do it.

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What should we unpack first?

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We talk about the power of words,

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but what about sound itself?

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Sound itself.

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I never really thought about it that way.

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It's all around us, you know?

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Shaping our emotions, even our behavior.

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I guess, yeah.

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Like when a song takes you back to a certain memory

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or like the sound of the ocean makes you feel calm.

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Exactly.

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Treasure talks about how sound

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can actually change our physiology.

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Like a loud noise.

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Yeah, like a jump scare in a movie.

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Right.

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That triggers our fight or flight response,

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releases cortisol, makes your heart race.

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We've all felt that, right?

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Oh yeah, for sure.

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But what about less intense sounds,

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like the everyday stuff?

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Well, think about being in a noisy office all day.

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Oh yeah, that's the worst.

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Studies have shown that it can actually

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decrease productivity, like by a third.

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Seriously?

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Wow.

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Yeah, it impairs our ability to think clearly.

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So it's not just annoying,

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it's actually affecting our work.

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Exactly.

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But on the flip side,

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things like nature sounds or calming music,

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they can actually help us focus and be more creative.

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Interesting.

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So we need to be more mindful

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of the sounds we surround ourselves with.

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Absolutely.

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Create a soundscape that supports our well-being.

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It's like if you were constantly surrounded

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by flashing lights and sirens, you'd be frazzled.

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Yeah, that makes sense.

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Speaking of sounds and effects,

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Treasure talks about this experiment

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where they played different types of music

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in a supermarket.

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Oh yeah, the wine aisle experiment.

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Right, when they played French music,

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people bought more French wine,

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German music, German wine.

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It's amazing how our subconscious works, isn't it?

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Totally.

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So businesses could use sound strategically,

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like to influence buying decisions.

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Absolutely.

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Treasure talks about sonic branding.

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He says a lot of companies focus

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so much on visual branding, they forget about sound.

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It's true.

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Think about those annoying checkout beeps

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or that awful hold music.

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Exactly.

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Missed opportunities to create a positive experience.

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Treasure points to Intel, you know?

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They're a little jingle.

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Yeah, instantly recognizable, a valuable asset.

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Makes you think about my own business, you know?

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Never thought about sonic branding before.

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It's definitely worth considering.

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And not just for businesses,

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we can all be more conscious listeners,

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not just to words, but to all the sounds around us.

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Like expanding our awareness to another level.

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Exactly.

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And with that comes responsibility

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for the sounds we create and the sounds we consume.

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Okay, so we've covered speaking authentically,

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listening actively, the power of sound,

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what ties it all together.

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What's the secret weapon for captivating an audience?

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Storytelling.

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Oh yeah, I love a good story.

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It's the oldest form of communication,

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but it's still the most powerful.

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Think about Ken Robinson's TED Talk,

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the one about schools killing creativity,

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the story about the little girl drawing God, so memorable.

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Exactly.

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Stories stay with you.

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And remember how you were saying your talks

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that weave in stories about your mom

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helped you land clients?

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It's true.

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People connect with personal stories.

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Because they're authentic.

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But it's not just about telling any story.

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You have to understand the listening you're speaking into.

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What does that mean?

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Think about your audience, their background, the context.

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Like when you give talks after lunch, everyone's sleepy.

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Oh yeah, the graveyard slot.

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Right.

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You need a different kind of story then.

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Treasure says, just ask yourself,

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what's the listening I'm speaking into?

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And the answer will come.

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Often, yes.

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You become more attuned to your audience,

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to their body language, their energy levels.

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Fascinating.

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So small changes can make a big difference.

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Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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We've both seen the power of storytelling, right?

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Oh yeah.

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Remember when you were putting together that pitch deck

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for your company in San Francisco?

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You said you didn't use any stories at all.

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I know.

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So focused on the data, I completely forgot.

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It worked out OK, but I think it could have been better.

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It's easy to fall back on old habits,

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especially in a professional setting.

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But maybe we need to challenge ourselves

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to use stories more.

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Definitely.

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We're not just presenting information,

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we're communicating with humans.

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And humans love stories.

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Speaking of connection, Treasure talks

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about listening for what's not being said.

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What do you think he means by that?

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It's about paying attention to the nonverbal cues,

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the body language, the tone of voice, the facial expressions.

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So reading between the lines.

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Exactly.

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Tuning into those subtle signals.

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It's like sometimes you can tell someone's upset,

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even if they say they're fine.

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Yeah.

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Their body language might be saying something totally

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different.

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And that can create confusion and mistrust.

283
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We need to be more congruent, make sure our words and actions

284
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match up.

285
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So how do we get better at reading those nonverbal cues?

286
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It takes practice.

287
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And it also involves developing our emotional intelligence.

288
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Emotional intelligence.

289
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,080
Yeah, the ability to understand and manage

290
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our own emotions and the emotions of others.

291
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So the more we understand ourselves,

292
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the better we can understand others.

293
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:12,720
Exactly.

294
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,840
And it's not just about recognizing emotions.

295
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It's about responding to them in a way that

296
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is empathetic and supportive.

297
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Which brings us back to active listening.

298
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Really hearing what the other person is saying

299
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and how they're feeling.

300
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Right.

301
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,320
Listening with our hearts, not just our ears.

302
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,400
This is all so interesting.

303
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:33,240
I feel like I'm seeing communication in a whole new light.

304
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,520
It's more than just exchanging information.

305
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It's about building connections, relationships.

306
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Understanding each other.

307
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,200
Exactly.

308
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And the good news is, these are skills we can learn.

309
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The more we practice, the better we get.

310
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So we can all become master communicators.

311
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We can.

312
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,320
Well, I think we've covered a lot today.

313
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From speaking authentically to active listening,

314
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the power of sound, the magic of storytelling.

315
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And how to adapt our message to the listening

316
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we're speaking into.

317
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,240
But before we wrap up, there's one more thing

318
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,640
I want to touch on.

319
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Listening, not just for personal growth,

320
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but for a better world.

321
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,480
Ah, yes.

322
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,720
Treasure believes that conscious listening

323
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is the key to a more peaceful and understanding society.

324
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He calls it the sound of democracy,

325
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because it allows for different perspectives to be heard,

326
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even when there's disagreement.

327
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:21,720
Right.

328
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,360
It's about creating a space where everyone feels safe

329
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to share their thoughts and ideas.

330
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Even if we don't agree with them.

331
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,280
Exactly.

332
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,680
Recognizing that we don't have all the answers,

333
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,560
that there's always more to learn.

334
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Choosing curiosity over judgment.

335
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,920
Understanding over division.

336
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,080
You know, this makes me think about my own experience

337
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:39,760
with social media.

338
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,960
I used to unfollow anyone who posted something

339
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:42,840
I didn't agree with.

340
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,160
Like, I wanted my feed to be this echo chamber.

341
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It's easy to do that.

342
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,400
We create these online spaces where we're only

343
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,680
exposed to what we already believe.

344
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But that's not really how the world works, is it?

345
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,520
No, it's not.

346
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,400
I realized I wasn't challenging myself.

347
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,920
I was just reinforcing my own biases.

348
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,320
So I started following people who made me uncomfortable,

349
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,640
people who had different opinions.

350
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,640
That's a great step towards building empathy.

351
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,040
It's not always easy, though, is it?

352
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,080
To encounter viewpoints that challenge us.

353
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,360
No, it can be really hard.

354
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,320
Sometimes you just want to shut down or dismiss

355
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,200
the other person.

356
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,320
But treasure challenges us to lean

357
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,880
into those uncomfortable conversations,

358
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,240
to listen with an open mind, even when it's difficult.

359
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,680
He even suggests following people on social media

360
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,720
who have opposing views, to actively seek out

361
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,680
different perspectives.

362
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:31,040
It's about breaking out of our echo chambers.

363
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,240
You know, the funny thing is, once I started doing that,

364
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,760
I realized that even when I disagreed with someone,

365
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,160
I could still respect their perspective.

366
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,680
It's not about agreeing with everyone.

367
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:43,760
It's about recognizing that we can have different opinions

368
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,000
without, you know, hating each other.

369
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,080
Exactly.

370
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,040
Treasure talks about the dangers of cancel culture,

371
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,080
where people are condemned without a chance

372
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,400
to explain themselves.

373
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,600
It's like we forget that there's a real person

374
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,240
behind those words, someone with their own story

375
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,280
and experiences.

376
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,320
And that's where conscious listening comes in,

377
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,800
pausing, taking a breath, truly hearing

378
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,040
what the other person is saying.

379
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,960
Even when it's hard, seeking to understand,

380
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,440
even when we disagree.

381
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,560
Remembering that we're all human

382
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,440
with our own unique perspectives.

383
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,520
And that's what makes the world so interesting.

384
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:16,480
It is.

385
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,520
We can choose to build bridges instead of walls,

386
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,360
to connect with each other, despite our differences.

387
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,160
And it all starts with listening.

388
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,640
I'm still thinking about how powerful sound is,

389
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,320
not just words, but all the sounds around us.

390
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,320
It's true.

391
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,720
We don't always realize how much it affects us.

392
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,200
Our moods, our thoughts, even our bodies.

393
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,680
Makes me wonder what else we're not paying attention to.

394
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:38,440
Right.

395
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,600
There's so much to discover about the world and ourselves.

396
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,080
Maybe by tuning in to sound more, we can learn even more.

397
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,440
It's like a whole other way of experiencing reality.

398
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,400
So we've talked about speaking, listening,

399
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,000
the impact of sound, storytelling.

400
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,240
What have we missed?

401
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,680
Well, we've touched on it a bit,

402
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,480
but I think it's worth emphasizing.

403
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,360
Listening, not just for ourselves, but for a better world.

404
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:01,840
Yeah.

405
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:02,680
Yeah.

406
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:03,520
Treasure talks about that.

407
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,000
He calls listening the sound of democracy.

408
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,440
Because it allows us to hear different perspectives,

409
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,800
even when we disagree.

410
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,800
It's the foundation of empathy and understanding.

411
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,480
And peace, ultimately.

412
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,360
So what can we do?

413
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,240
How can we be better listeners,

414
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,680
not just in our personal lives, but in society as a whole?

415
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:25,080
It starts with recognizing that we don't have all the answers.

416
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,400
Being open to new ideas, even if they challenge our own.

417
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,360
Choosing curiosity over judgment.

418
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,200
Exactly, and realizing that disagreement

419
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,720
doesn't have to mean division.

420
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,600
We can learn from each other, even when we don't see eye to eye.

421
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,880
It's about building bridges, not walls.

422
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,840
This has been such a great conversation.

423
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,640
I feel like I have so much to think about

424
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,960
and so much to work on.

425
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:44,760
Me too.

426
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,280
It's a journey, not a destination.

427
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,000
The more we practice these skills,

428
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,440
the better communicators we become.

429
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,640
And the more connected we become to ourselves,

430
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,000
to each other, and to the world around us.

431
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,400
That's a great way to put it.

432
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,080
Thanks for joining us on this deep dive

433
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,000
into the power of speaking and listening.

434
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,840
We hope you'll keep exploring these ideas

435
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,800
and discover the transformative power

436
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:30,280
of communication in your own life.