Welcome to another deep dive.
Today we're gonna be talking about something
we all do every day, but probably don't think about too much.
And what's that?
Speaking and listening.
Ah, right.
Like breathing, we just do it.
Exactly.
But what if we could do it better, more intentionally?
That's what we're gonna explore today.
Sounds good to me.
Our guide for this deep dive is sound expert Julian Treasure.
His TED Talk on speaking is one of the most popular ever.
Oh, I've seen that one.
But here's the thing.
His talk on listening, not so much.
Hmm, that's interesting.
I guess we're all a little more focused
on getting our own point across sometimes.
Maybe, but Treasure argues that listening
is just as important as speaking.
In fact, it might even be more so.
But first, let's talk about speaking with impact.
Okay, so how do we do that?
Well, I think we've all been there, right?
Desperately wanting to be heard,
whether it's at work, in a relationship,
or even just online.
Oh, absolutely.
That's that human need to feel understood to connect.
Exactly.
And Treasure has this framework for powerful speaking
that he calls hail.
It stands for honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love.
Okay, I like that.
So it's not just about being a good speaker.
It's about being a good person.
Kind of.
It's about aligning your words with your true self.
Makes sense.
People can spot a fake a mile away, right?
Right.
Remember that CEO who posted that crying selfie
after laying off all those employees?
Oh yeah, that was rough.
Talk about inauthenticity.
Totally backfire.
People saw right through it.
And I think trying to maintain a persona that isn't,
you must be exhausting.
Like some celebrities always having to be on.
I bet it is.
It reminds me of how I used to feel doing presentations.
So nervous about every word being perfect.
Oh, me too.
But I've learned over time that it's better
to just be myself, let my personality shine through.
You know, that's what people connect with at Genuine Energy,
which brings us back to listening.
Something we often overlook.
It's funny, right?
Treasure speaking TED Talk, super popular.
His listening one, not so much.
What does that say about us?
Well, maybe it shows that we value speaking over listening.
We're all so eager to share our thoughts,
but are we really taking the time
to hear what others have to say?
Good point.
So how do we become better listeners?
Well, Treasure has a framework for that too.
He calls it RSA, receive, appreciate, summarize, and ask.
Okay, break it down for me.
What does that actually look like in a conversation?
So receive means being fully present.
Put away your phone, make eye contact,
really focus on what the other person is saying.
Okay, got it.
Be present.
What about appreciate?
Appreciate means acknowledging their perspective.
Even if you don't agree with them,
you can say things like, I see your point,
or that's interesting.
Got it.
So acknowledge their perspective.
Yeah.
And then summarize.
Make sure you've understood them correctly.
You can paraphrase what they've said
or ask clarifying questions.
Oh, like what I'm hearing you say is.
Exactly.
And finally, ask.
Asking questions shows that you're genuinely interested
and encourages them to elaborate.
So it's about being engaged,
not just passively listening.
Exactly.
Now it's like that thing Treasure talks about,
stress-induced audio dysfunction.
He gives an example of his father,
who in his later years,
became deaf to the frequency of his wife's nagging.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
It's like our brains can literally tune out sounds
we don't want to hear.
Crazy, right?
That is crazy.
I wonder what we're all tuning out
without even realizing it.
It makes you think, doesn't it?
Are we truly listening to our loved ones,
our colleagues, even ourselves?
Or are we letting stress and distractions
filter out important messages?
That's a good point.
It reminds me of how important active listening is
in conflict resolution.
Absolutely.
Whether it's a disagreement with a partner
or a tough negotiation at work,
when both sides feel heard,
it can de-escalate tension and hurt you find common ground.
We've all been in those arguments
where no one is really listening
and it just gets worse and worse.
Right.
Active listening can change the whole dynamic
of a conversation.
So speaking authentically and listening actively
can have a huge impact on our relationships and our lives.
Absolutely.
And we've only just scratched the surface.
We need to move beyond words now
and explore the power of sound itself.
Okay, let's do it.
What should we unpack first?
We talk about the power of words,
but what about sound itself?
Sound itself.
I never really thought about it that way.
It's all around us, you know?
Shaping our emotions, even our behavior.
I guess, yeah.
Like when a song takes you back to a certain memory
or like the sound of the ocean makes you feel calm.
Exactly.
Treasure talks about how sound
can actually change our physiology.
Like a loud noise.
Yeah, like a jump scare in a movie.
Right.
That triggers our fight or flight response,
releases cortisol, makes your heart race.
We've all felt that, right?
Oh yeah, for sure.
But what about less intense sounds,
like the everyday stuff?
Well, think about being in a noisy office all day.
Oh yeah, that's the worst.
Studies have shown that it can actually
decrease productivity, like by a third.
Seriously?
Wow.
Yeah, it impairs our ability to think clearly.
So it's not just annoying,
it's actually affecting our work.
Exactly.
But on the flip side,
things like nature sounds or calming music,
they can actually help us focus and be more creative.
Interesting.
So we need to be more mindful
of the sounds we surround ourselves with.
Absolutely.
Create a soundscape that supports our well-being.
It's like if you were constantly surrounded
by flashing lights and sirens, you'd be frazzled.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaking of sounds and effects,
Treasure talks about this experiment
where they played different types of music
in a supermarket.
Oh yeah, the wine aisle experiment.
Right, when they played French music,
people bought more French wine,
German music, German wine.
It's amazing how our subconscious works, isn't it?
Totally.
So businesses could use sound strategically,
like to influence buying decisions.
Absolutely.
Treasure talks about sonic branding.
He says a lot of companies focus
so much on visual branding, they forget about sound.
It's true.
Think about those annoying checkout beeps
or that awful hold music.
Exactly.
Missed opportunities to create a positive experience.
Treasure points to Intel, you know?
They're a little jingle.
Yeah, instantly recognizable, a valuable asset.
Makes you think about my own business, you know?
Never thought about sonic branding before.
It's definitely worth considering.
And not just for businesses,
we can all be more conscious listeners,
not just to words, but to all the sounds around us.
Like expanding our awareness to another level.
Exactly.
And with that comes responsibility
for the sounds we create and the sounds we consume.
Okay, so we've covered speaking authentically,
listening actively, the power of sound,
what ties it all together.
What's the secret weapon for captivating an audience?
Storytelling.
Oh yeah, I love a good story.
It's the oldest form of communication,
but it's still the most powerful.
Think about Ken Robinson's TED Talk,
the one about schools killing creativity,
the story about the little girl drawing God, so memorable.
Exactly.
Stories stay with you.
And remember how you were saying your talks
that weave in stories about your mom
helped you land clients?
It's true.
People connect with personal stories.
Because they're authentic.
But it's not just about telling any story.
You have to understand the listening you're speaking into.
What does that mean?
Think about your audience, their background, the context.
Like when you give talks after lunch, everyone's sleepy.
Oh yeah, the graveyard slot.
Right.
You need a different kind of story then.
Treasure says, just ask yourself,
what's the listening I'm speaking into?
And the answer will come.
Often, yes.
You become more attuned to your audience,
to their body language, their energy levels.
Fascinating.
So small changes can make a big difference.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
We've both seen the power of storytelling, right?
Oh yeah.
Remember when you were putting together that pitch deck
for your company in San Francisco?
You said you didn't use any stories at all.
I know.
So focused on the data, I completely forgot.
It worked out OK, but I think it could have been better.
It's easy to fall back on old habits,
especially in a professional setting.
But maybe we need to challenge ourselves
to use stories more.
Definitely.
We're not just presenting information,
we're communicating with humans.
And humans love stories.
Speaking of connection, Treasure talks
about listening for what's not being said.
What do you think he means by that?
It's about paying attention to the nonverbal cues,
the body language, the tone of voice, the facial expressions.
So reading between the lines.
Exactly.
Tuning into those subtle signals.
It's like sometimes you can tell someone's upset,
even if they say they're fine.
Yeah.
Their body language might be saying something totally
different.
And that can create confusion and mistrust.
We need to be more congruent, make sure our words and actions
match up.
So how do we get better at reading those nonverbal cues?
It takes practice.
And it also involves developing our emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence.
Yeah, the ability to understand and manage
our own emotions and the emotions of others.
So the more we understand ourselves,
the better we can understand others.
Exactly.
And it's not just about recognizing emotions.
It's about responding to them in a way that
is empathetic and supportive.
Which brings us back to active listening.
Really hearing what the other person is saying
and how they're feeling.
Right.
Listening with our hearts, not just our ears.
This is all so interesting.
I feel like I'm seeing communication in a whole new light.
It's more than just exchanging information.
It's about building connections, relationships.
Understanding each other.
Exactly.
And the good news is, these are skills we can learn.
The more we practice, the better we get.
So we can all become master communicators.
We can.
Well, I think we've covered a lot today.
From speaking authentically to active listening,
the power of sound, the magic of storytelling.
And how to adapt our message to the listening
we're speaking into.
But before we wrap up, there's one more thing
I want to touch on.
Listening, not just for personal growth,
but for a better world.
Ah, yes.
Treasure believes that conscious listening
is the key to a more peaceful and understanding society.
He calls it the sound of democracy,
because it allows for different perspectives to be heard,
even when there's disagreement.
Right.
It's about creating a space where everyone feels safe
to share their thoughts and ideas.
Even if we don't agree with them.
Exactly.
Recognizing that we don't have all the answers,
that there's always more to learn.
Choosing curiosity over judgment.
Understanding over division.
You know, this makes me think about my own experience
with social media.
I used to unfollow anyone who posted something
I didn't agree with.
Like, I wanted my feed to be this echo chamber.
It's easy to do that.
We create these online spaces where we're only
exposed to what we already believe.
But that's not really how the world works, is it?
No, it's not.
I realized I wasn't challenging myself.
I was just reinforcing my own biases.
So I started following people who made me uncomfortable,
people who had different opinions.
That's a great step towards building empathy.
It's not always easy, though, is it?
To encounter viewpoints that challenge us.
No, it can be really hard.
Sometimes you just want to shut down or dismiss
the other person.
But treasure challenges us to lean
into those uncomfortable conversations,
to listen with an open mind, even when it's difficult.
He even suggests following people on social media
who have opposing views, to actively seek out
different perspectives.
It's about breaking out of our echo chambers.
You know, the funny thing is, once I started doing that,
I realized that even when I disagreed with someone,
I could still respect their perspective.
It's not about agreeing with everyone.
It's about recognizing that we can have different opinions
without, you know, hating each other.
Exactly.
Treasure talks about the dangers of cancel culture,
where people are condemned without a chance
to explain themselves.
It's like we forget that there's a real person
behind those words, someone with their own story
and experiences.
And that's where conscious listening comes in,
pausing, taking a breath, truly hearing
what the other person is saying.
Even when it's hard, seeking to understand,
even when we disagree.
Remembering that we're all human
with our own unique perspectives.
And that's what makes the world so interesting.
It is.
We can choose to build bridges instead of walls,
to connect with each other, despite our differences.
And it all starts with listening.
I'm still thinking about how powerful sound is,
not just words, but all the sounds around us.
It's true.
We don't always realize how much it affects us.
Our moods, our thoughts, even our bodies.
Makes me wonder what else we're not paying attention to.
Right.
There's so much to discover about the world and ourselves.
Maybe by tuning in to sound more, we can learn even more.
It's like a whole other way of experiencing reality.
So we've talked about speaking, listening,
the impact of sound, storytelling.
What have we missed?
Well, we've touched on it a bit,
but I think it's worth emphasizing.
Listening, not just for ourselves, but for a better world.
Yeah.
Treasure talks about that.
He calls listening the sound of democracy.
Because it allows us to hear different perspectives,
even when we disagree.
It's the foundation of empathy and understanding.
And peace, ultimately.
So what can we do?
How can we be better listeners,
not just in our personal lives, but in society as a whole?
It starts with recognizing that we don't have all the answers.
Being open to new ideas, even if they challenge our own.
Choosing curiosity over judgment.
Exactly, and realizing that disagreement
doesn't have to mean division.
We can learn from each other, even when we don't see eye to eye.
It's about building bridges, not walls.
This has been such a great conversation.
I feel like I have so much to think about
and so much to work on.
Me too.
It's a journey, not a destination.
The more we practice these skills,
the better communicators we become.
And the more connected we become to ourselves,
to each other, and to the world around us.
That's a great way to put it.
Thanks for joining us on this deep dive
into the power of speaking and listening.
We hope you'll keep exploring these ideas
and discover the transformative power
of communication in your own life.