All right, so today we're going deep, deep into the world of modern dating, but not
the, you know, the fun rom-com version, more like, I think, documentary style, where dating
apps, which you think would make things easier, right?
Yeah.
They've actually made the whole search for love way more complicated.
Yeah.
So it is kind of ironic when you think about it.
You've got more ways than ever to connect with people.
But marriage rates are hitting like record lows, even hookups are on the decline.
It's true.
So to break it all down, we're looking at this conversation with Dr. Orion Turbin.
He's a clinical psychologist, specializes in modern dating.
And the interview we're pulling from is from the YouTube channel, The Diary of a CEO.
Now, if you don't know Dr. Turbin, he's known for like his really sharp, sometimes controversial
views on dating today.
He doesn't sugarcoat things, that's for sure.
No, he does not.
And he often uses like colorful language to get his point across.
Yeah.
Right from the start, he just kind of hits us with some hard hitting stats.
Not just marriage rates being down, but birth rates in a lot of developed countries.
They're below replacement level now.
So there are fewer babies being born than people dying.
Whoa.
Okay.
That got real, real dark, real fast.
I thought we were going to like dish about dating apps.
It sounds like a dystopian movie or something.
Yeah.
It's a pretty bleak picture for sure.
And Dr. Turbin believes that like this whole trend towards fewer relationships and serious
implications for, well, everything, population decline, societal instability, just a lot
more people feeling isolated and alone.
It's almost like we're in this like connection crisis that everyone's hyper connected online.
It's kind of a paradox.
Yeah.
So where do we even begin to untangle all this?
Well, Dr. Turbin kind of lays out the specific challenges that men and women face in this
new dating world, right?
Yeah.
So let's start with the guys.
One of the most interesting things he talks about is this idea of like an invisibility
factor and that's particularly for younger men.
Invisibility factor.
What is that?
Like are they turning invisible?
Well, not literally.
Yeah.
But he's arguing that a lot of young men just don't have what it takes to stand out.
It's a crowded dating scene.
You know, you got to stand out.
So whether it's, you know, money, career or even like classic good looks, they just lack
the resources to grab attention.
They blend into the background.
He even calls them wallpaper.
Ooh, wallpaper.
I get it.
It's not even just about looks.
It's about this whole package of things that makes a guy like noticeable, desirable.
Yeah, exactly.
And this could be, you know, a bit of a catch 22, especially for those guys who are just
starting out, you know, in their careers and life.
Dr. Turbin points out that like men get more relationship opportunities when they have
things that other people want.
Okay.
So skills, resources, status, that kind of stuff.
I see.
But when you're just beginning, it's hard to get those things right.
Yeah, totally.
It's not a whole, it takes money to make money.
But in this case, it takes having what people want to get what you want.
So how do you break that cycle?
What's a guy supposed to do if he's feeling invisible?
He shouldn't give up, that's for sure.
Dr. Turbin suggests focusing on your unique skills and passions.
So you know, what do you enjoy?
What are you good at?
What makes you stand out from the crowd?
So it's more about like building a life that you're excited about and that excitement,
that passion will attract people to you.
It's like a magnet.
Yeah, okay.
It's not about being someone you're not, it's about being the best version of you.
I like that.
Yeah.
Now, Dr. Turbin doesn't shy away from, you know, talking about some of the less positive
responses that men have to this invisibility thing.
He talks about performative masculinity, which is a term like I hear all the time now.
It's everywhere.
But I'm not always sure I totally get it.
So think about those guys you see at the gym, right, always trying to lift the heaviest
weights or bragging about their, you know, conquests, like they're putting on a show
of masculinity and compensate for feeling unseen or inadequate.
Oh, so it's like this outward projection of what they think masculinity should be, but
deep down it comes from insecurity.
Yeah, that's the heart of it.
And, you know, some people might find that attractive at first, but it's not a sustainable
strategy for building real connection.
Right.
So it's like a band aid.
It is.
But it doesn't fix the problem.
It's like a dress the root cause.
So before we move on to women, what can guys do to combat that invisibility without, you
know, resorting to these performative acts?
Dr. Trubin really emphasizes building a strong social network, both online and offline.
It's about connecting with people who share your interest, supporting others, you know,
contributing to something larger than yourself.
Defining your tribe.
Exactly.
And the dating opportunities will kind of come naturally out of that.
You're putting yourself out there.
You're being authentic.
It's not about fitting into some predefined mold.
Okay.
So let your light shine.
There you go.
All right.
Now let's switch gears a little bit.
What about the challenges women face in this modern dating landscape?
So Dr. Trubin uses this term, the marriage conundrum to describe what a lot of women are going
through these days.
Oh, okay.
A conundrum.
Yeah.
Basically, a lot of women desire marriage, a committed relationship, but they struggle
to find men who want the same thing.
Yeah.
You know, that tracks with what I hear from a lot of my female friends, like they're
ready to settle down, white picket fence, the whole nine yards.
Right.
It seems like guys just aren't there yet.
Yeah.
And then you have this thing called the paradox of choice, which online dating has just made
so much worse.
Okay.
Paradox of choice.
Yeah.
So how can having more choices be a bad thing?
Well, with apps like Tinder, Bumble, all those, women see tons of potential partners.
So many.
It's endless.
And that can actually make it harder to find a meaningful connection.
So you're seeing all that swiping.
Yeah.
You're always looking for someone better.
Yeah.
You get caught in the comparison game.
It's like being in a buffet with endless options.
Right.
You try a little bit of everything, but you never really savor anything.
I can see that chasing that like dopamine rush of a new match, but you never actually
stop and connect with someone on a deeper level.
It leads to a situation where women are focusing on like the top 10% of men.
Right.
Those with the best photos?
Yeah.
The best bios, the most impressive careers.
It creates this hyper competitive environment where it's really tough for anyone to stand
out.
So even if you are one of the lucky ones who gets to go on a date with one of those guys,
you're still competing with like tons of other women.
Exactly.
Not very relaxing.
No.
Okay.
So that brings us to attraction.
Yes.
So he actually challenges that whole just be kind advice.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
Wait.
So are you saying kindness isn't important?
Cause I thought that was like the basis of a good relationship.
Oh, it is.
It is.
Kindness is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Yeah.
But what he's saying is that kindness is more desired after attraction is established.
It's not necessarily what sparks that initial interest.
Okay.
So being a good person, that's table stakes, but that might not get you that first date.
Exactly.
Got it.
So attraction as a kind of marketing where everyone, men and women can work to increase
their attractiveness.
Ooh, marketing.
Tell me more.
It's about things like fitness, style, learning to communicate effectively, putting your best
foot forward, showcasing your strengths.
So self-improvement.
Yeah.
And presenting yourself in a way that reflects who you are and what you have to offer.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
And this is where it gets really interesting.
So the nuances of feminine communication and how it's different from masculine communication.
Okay.
This is it.
All right.
So masculine communication is usually very straightforward, direct.
It's about getting the information across.
You know, very clear.
Feminine communication is more subtle.
It emphasizes emotional resonance, connection.
So it's not just about the words themselves, but like the energy behind them.
Yeah.
Like creating a shared feeling.
I see.
And exchanging information.
Okay.
And he's saying men often miss these cues.
Yes.
Those subtle cues.
They miss them.
Leading to all sorts of, you know, misunderstandings, missed opportunities.
They're speaking different languages.
It's like that.
Yeah.
Even though they're using the same words.
They are.
Wow.
So he pulls some interesting insights from the pickup artist community.
Oh, okay.
Which I know.
That's a whole thing.
Yeah.
It is.
But I am curious what he takes away from it.
So he acknowledges that some of their techniques can be, you know, manipulative, even harmful.
Yeah.
But he also says there's this core principle that has value and it's understanding what
actually works when it comes to attraction.
Okay.
So it's about letting go of your preconceived notions and actually paying attention to how
people respond to you.
So being adaptable, responsive in the moment.
And this kind of ties into what he calls the game of please know.
The game of please know.
Which he learned actually as an acting student.
Okay.
So basically, yeah, he believes this game is at the heart of all human interactions.
The idea is, yeah, in any interaction, someone wants something.
Right.
And the default answer is no.
So whether you're asking for a date, a favor, even a raise at work, you're starting from
that place of resistance.
Okay.
So the key is to figure out how to turn that no into a yes through emotional intelligence
and understanding those subtle cues.
So reading the situation, yeah, being perceptive, adjusting your approach.
Exactly.
As needed.
And Elias is mastering that skill.
It is valuable not just for dating, but for your whole life.
Like a secret decoder in for human interaction.
Exactly.
I love it.
Now he talks about some common mistakes men make when approaching women, which he calls
overcompensates.
Overcompensation.
Okay.
So on one hand, you've got the guys who like hesitate for too long.
They overthink everything and miss their chance.
And then on the other hand, you've got the guys that come on way too strong.
They get, you know, super drunk.
They're too touchy.
They're trying to force a connection that just isn't there.
So finding that sweet spot between too timid and too strong.
Yes.
It's a delicate dance.
It is.
So what's the key?
Well, he really stresses the importance of vibe, you know, that intangible quality that
makes someone approachable and intriguing.
So it's about approaching women in a way that's calm, open, confident, but not being
aggressive, not making them feel pressured.
So basically convey that you're interested, but respect their boundaries, let the interaction
unfold naturally.
Exactly.
So when he shares this tactic he used to use where he'd approach women with this line,
I'm actually trying to get over my approach anxiety.
How am I doing?
Wait, seriously?
He would just like admit his nervousness up front.
Yeah, I know.
It seems counterintuitive.
But he says it worked really well.
It showed vulnerability and a sense of humor, which disarmed women and made them feel more
comfortable.
So it goes against all the typical dating advice, but it's about being authentic.
It is.
And showing your true self.
Yeah.
Even if it's awkward.
Even if it feels a little awkward.
Okay.
So we talked a lot about what men can do, but what about women?
I mean, it's not always socially acceptable for them to make the first move.
So what's Dr. Turbin's advice?
Well, he reminds us that for most of history, women have been the initiators.
Just in a more like subtle, indirect way.
Like, you know that classic image of a Victorian lady dropping her handkerchief to get a gentleman's
attention?
Yeah.
And it's an opportunity for interaction without being overly forward.
Sending signals, giving the guy an open mind.
Exactly.
Okay.
And he emphasizes the power of eye contact.
A sustained gaze can be super alluring and a clear sign of interest without even saying
a word.
Oh, the come hither look.
Exactly.
And he points out how different the rules of engagement can be for men and women.
Like, you know, sustained eye contact between two men.
That can be seen as aggressive.
Yeah.
But a challenge, but between a man or a woman, it's flirtatious.
It's all about context.
It is.
Wow.
Okay.
So we've been talking about all this.
Like, it's almost a game, a transaction.
Yeah.
But where does love fit into all of this?
That's the big question, right?
Yeah.
Is it just calculations and exchanges?
Yeah.
Well, Dr. Turbin has a very nuanced perspective on this.
Correct.
He recognizes that relationships do have this value exchange element.
Yeah.
But he goes beyond that simple view.
Yeah.
Of it being just a transaction.
Okay.
Like, an inquid pro quo.
Exactly.
He says we're drawn to people because they offer something we value.
Right.
And that could be sex, security, excitement, emotional support.
All kinds of things.
Right.
All sorts of things.
And I imagine, you know, men and women probably value different things.
They do.
At different points in their lives.
Different stages.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And this is where he brings in the concept of non-transactable goods or NTGs.
Non-transactable goods.
Okay.
Tell me more.
So, in turn, they have to be given freely.
Like what?
Things like loyalty, friendship, and most importantly, love.
Their gifts offered spontaneously.
No strings attached.
So you can't force someone to love you.
You can't, no matter how hard you try or how much you do for them.
No, it has to be freely given.
Wow.
And he warns against mistaking transactional behavior for these NTGs.
Oh, yeah.
It's easy to fall into that trap of giving to get.
Yeah.
And then you're going to be doing something truly and freely.
And that can happen in relationships too, right?
Absolutely.
It becomes like a scorecard.
It does.
Who did what?
For whom?
Yeah.
And that can erode the connection.
Yeah.
So how do we avoid falling into that trap?
Focus on giving without expecting anything in return.
You know, acting from a place of abundance.
Okay.
Not scarcity.
Abundance, not scarcity.
Exactly.
Okay.
Now, this brings us to a topic that people don't always want to talk about.
Oh, juicy.
But Dr. Turbin doesn't shy away from it.
Yeah.
The role of pornography in modern dating.
Here we go.
So he argues that pornography, and you know, platforms like OnlyFans, they offer a quick
and easy way to satisfy certain desires.
They do.
But he's concerned about how this might be impacting our motivation for real life connection.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's like fast food versus a home cooked meal.
I like that.
That's a good analogy.
Yeah.
So it's a good example of sublimation, which is a term from psychoanalysis.
Okay.
So it's about channeling.
Powerful, but potentially unacceptable impulses into things that are more socially acceptable.
Can you give me an example?
Sure.
So imagine someone's feeling angry, frustrated, instead of, you know, yelling at their boss
or their family, they go for a run.
They hit the gym.
Okay.
They're channeling that energy into something positive.
So how does that relate to pornography?
Well, he's saying that.
Historically, men have sublimated their sexual energy into all sorts of creative endeavors,
careers, businesses, making art, things that contribute to society.
Right.
But he's concerned that pornography might be diminishing this drive.
It's providing an easy outlet for those urges.
So it's not that pornography is like inherently bad, right?
But it might be like short circuiting that creative energy that could be going to other
areas of life.
He also recognizes that pornography can be problematic, you know, for individuals, especially
if it becomes an addiction or gets in the way of forming healthy relationships.
So being mindful of how you're using it, whether it's becoming a substitute for intimacy.
He compares it to alcoholism.
You know, they both provide temporary escape, but ultimately lead to isolation.
And make it harder to connect with people.
Exactly.
And it's about taking the easy way out rather than doing the work to build something real.
It's about taking the easy way out.
Yeah.
Instead of embracing the challenge and the reward of building something real and lasting.
Okay.
So let's talk about keeping a partner long term.
Okay.
What's the secret?
Well, yeah.
He stresses the importance of moving past that initial fantasy stage.
Right.
And revealing your true self.
So taking off the mask, letting your partner see the real you flaws and all.
Exactly.
He calls it slow and gradual disappointment, which sounds a little harsh, but he argues
that it's crucial for authentic connection.
So it's scary.
Yeah.
But it's also kind of liberating to be seen for who you really are.
Exactly.
Okay.
And this leads to what he calls the crisis of disappointment, which could be a turning
point in a relationship.
It's when the initial infatuation fades and you really start to see your partner for
who they truly are.
Like love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener.
Exactly.
Okay.
But he sees this crisis as an opportunity.
It's a chance to decide if you want to build something real based on who they are, not
who you thought they were.
So moving from fantasy to reality and choosing to embrace the complexity of real relationship.
And along with that, he emphasizes the need for novelty.
Even in long-term monogamous relationships, you got to keep things interesting.
Okay.
How do you keep the spark alive after the honeymoon phase is over?
Travel, new experiences, even just being playful.
He jokes about how foreign bedsheets can spice things up.
I love that.
It's the little things.
Sometimes it is.
He also points out that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Even in a world where we're constantly connected, creating space for longing, for anticipation
can be really powerful.
Yeah.
You don't know what you've got till it's gone.
Exactly.
He ends his to this discussion about monogamy and whether it's even natural for humans.
Okay.
Challenge my assumptions.
So he believes humans are probably more monogamish.
Monogamish.
Meaning we have the capacity for it, but it's not necessarily our default setting.
So it's a choice, not like a biological imperative.
Right.
And he suggests that monogamy actually benefits men more from a purely like utilitarian standpoint.
Okay.
I'm not sure I follow.
I'm not a monogamous society where there's one woman for every man, even the worst man
are guaranteed to find a partner.
Oh, interesting.
Like a safety net.
It is.
So everyone has a chance at finding love.
Exactly.
Okay.
And this brings us back to relationships as a value exchange.
Right.
He uses the classic gold digger example.
Ooh, okay.
Money can't buy you love.
Well, he says that on the surface.
It might look like one person is just trading their youth and beauty for financial security.
But he argues that even in those seemingly unequal partnerships, there's still an exchange
of value happening.
The oldie partner is getting something out of it too.
Okay.
Whether it's an ego boost, the feeling of being desired or just the companionship of
an attractive partner.
So it's more complicated than just one person exploiting the other.
Yeah.
There's a more complex dynamic there.
Okay.
And he points out that men often prioritize physical attractiveness.
Yeah.
While women tend to value things like status, resources, stability.
Different currencies at play.
Exactly.
Got it.
And this leads to his observation about how we perceive the value of men and women in
relationships.
Okay.
This is interesting.
So he says, it's often easier to assess a woman's value based on her physical attractiveness.
It's immediately apparent.
Right.
It's visual.
It's right there.
Yeah.
Beauty is in the eye at the beholder.
But it's also very visible and judged with men.
It's more complicated.
Their value might be tied to their career, their finances, their personality, qualities
that aren't always obvious right away.
You can't judge a book by its cover.
You can't.
And I've definitely seen that phenomenon where a woman's attractiveness can actually
boost a man's status.
Right.
Like the arm candy phenomenon.
People assume that if a guy's with a very attractive woman, he must be successful or
powerful.
Yeah.
It's a halo effect.
It is.
But you can't make assumptions about his worth just based on who he's with.
Absolutely not.
Okay.
So what advice does Dr. Turvin offer to people who are struggling to find lasting love?
What's the secret?
His advice is actually pretty simple, but powerful.
He says, date like it's your job.
Wait, what?
Like send out resumes?
No, not literally.
Okay.
But approach it with the same intention, effort, strategy as you would a job search.
So be proactive.
Yeah.
Don't just sit around waiting for love to appear.
Exactly.
Because too many people have this idealized vision of a relationship that's, you know,
loving, secure, peaceful, but they're not willing to put in the work.
You can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket.
You can't.
So hard.
Finding a great relationship is like finding a great job.
It takes effort, persistence.
You got to face rejection.
Be willing to put yourself out there.
Yeah.
Okay.
He also emphasizes overcoming the fear of rejection.
It's part of the process.
The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to find someone who's a good
fit.
You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
There you go.
And he acknowledges that we're living in a challenging time for dating and relationships.
Yeah.
He points to technology, dating apps, social media, even AI.
They're changing the game of ways we don't even fully understand yet.
Yeah.
It's like we're in uncharted territory and the rules are constantly changing.
Right.
But he's hopeful.
He is.
Yeah.
He thinks we'll figure it out.
We always do.
Okay.
We'll find new ways to connect and create meaningful relationships.
Love will find a way.
It will.
But he stresses the importance of being aware of the potential pitfalls.
The instant gratification of pornography, the choice overload of dating apps.
So being mindful of how we're using technology.
Exactly.
Making sure it's enhancing our lives, not making it harder to connect.
Exactly.
Okay.
So he's talking to me at a conversation with a really interesting point, right?
Yeah.
About the fluff of relationships.
Fluff.
What's that?
He means all that stuff we're told is important for a happy relationship.
The fancy dates, the big romantic gestures, the pressure to share every single interest.
But he thinks that might actually be getting in the way of real connection.
Like cutting through all the noise, focusing on what matters.
Exactly.
And he stresses the idea that you need to constantly communicate and analyze every detail
of the relationship.
If you're meeting each other's needs, a lot of that fluff just becomes unnecessary.
It's like actions speak louder than words.
Right.
He thinks it's often more effective to communicate through what you do rather than what you say.
So showing up in meaningful ways.
Exactly.
And then he asks this really provocative question at the end of the conversation.
He says, imagine if all the societal expectations and all that fluff were stripped away, what
would your ideal relationship actually look like?
That's a good one.
It makes you think about it.
What's truly important to you and what you're willing to compromise on.
Exactly.
He wants people to identify their non-negotiables, the things they absolutely won't budge on.
The deal breakers.
Yeah.
He also suggests that some needs might actually be better met outside of a romantic relationship.
Oh, interesting.
So like not expecting your partner to be your everything.
Right.
He uses his own life as an example.
Yeah.
He realized he was looking for a partner to fulfill all of his intellectual and spiritual
needs.
But he could get those things from friends, mentors, other relationships.
So diversifying your social portfolio.
Yeah.
I like that.
Okay.
He says it can actually take pressure off the romantic relationship.
Makes sense.
It allows it to be a space for things that are unique to that connection.
So recognizing that, yeah, your romantic partner can't be everything.
Right.
And that's okay.
It's okay.
It's about building a life with lots of different meaningful relationships.
Exactly.
Now, Dr. Turbin's views on dating and relationships, they're definitely thought provoking.
And he's not afraid to challenge conventional wisdom.
He's not.
But his insights come from.
Yeah.
His clinical experience, you know, and a deep understanding of human psychology.
It's a lot to unpack, that's for sure.
But it raises all these important questions about how we approach love and connection
in the modern world.
It does.
Before we move on to listener questions, I have a thought that's been kind of swirling
in my head.
Dr. Turbin talks a lot about understanding your value in a relationship and being willing
to give more to get more.
But what happens when we start seeing love as just an economic transaction?
Does that take away some of the magic?
That's a great question.
And one we're definitely going to explore in the next part of this episode.
Stay tuned, everyone.
We're just getting started.
Yeah, it's like you want that solid foundation.
Yeah.
But you also want those sparks, those moments that make you feel alive.
It's like both are so essential.
I mean, we're wired for connection and exploration, right?
And those things don't just vanish when you're in a relationship.
They don't.
So it's like, how do they work together?
It's like that rilke quote, love consists of this two solitudes protecting and touching
and greeting each other.
Oh, that's a good one.
You need your own space to grow, but also that shared space to connect.
And I think honestly, the balance is going to be different for every couple.
Of course.
There's no one size fits all answer.
What matters is that both people feel like their needs are met.
So if one person's idea of adventure is skydiving every weekend and the other is more of a cozy
night in kind of person, that's going to be a problem.
That's going to be a problem.
It's not about forcing your partner into your version of excitement.
Maybe you compromise, you know?
One weekend you jump out of a plane, the next you try a new cooking class together.
Yeah.
Find that middle ground.
Exactly.
And this all comes back to communication.
Always.
Not just at the beginning of a relationship, but all the time.
All throughout.
Yeah.
Because what thrilled you five years ago might not do it for you now.
And if you're not checking in with each other, right, you're both going to end up feeling
unfulfilled.
So it's not just about the big define the relationship conversations.
It's the smaller check-ins too.
Exactly.
Those little moments matter.
Okay.
Maybe once a month you have like a relationship state of the union.
Oh, I like that.
What's working, what's not.
What are you craving?
Yeah.
And it could be fun too.
Like what crazy thing are we going to do next month?
How can we shake things up this week?
Yeah.
It feels like you're a team then.
Exactly.
Working on it together.
And that's what it should feel like.
I keep thinking about what we talked about earlier.
That whole idea of like evaluating your return on investment in love.
Because I mean, part of me agrees.
You should know your worth.
You shouldn't settle.
Absolutely.
But if you're constantly keeping score, it's not really love then, is it?
It's a business deal.
That's the tension, right?
Yeah.
I think it comes down to how you're approaching it.
Are you coming from a place of scarcity?
Okay.
Like you're afraid of being taken advantage of?
Yeah.
Or is it about self-respect?
Okay.
Knowing you have something special to offer.
And wanting someone who appreciates that.
That's a good point.
Because if you're coming from that fear, you're going to be looking for reasons to feel short
change.
Exactly.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah.
But if you come from abundance, knowing your worth, but also believing there's enough love
out there.
Yeah.
And it's less about keeping score and more about finding a reciprocal flow.
Reciprocal flow, I like that.
Love shouldn't be a constant negotiation.
It should feel like a natural exchange.
Where both people are giving and receiving in a way that feels balanced.
Balance fulfilling.
Yeah.
And that ties back to Dr. Turpin's point about radical responsibility.
For your own happiness, it's not your partner's job to make you happy.
Yeah, it's easy to think if only they would do this, then I'd be happy.
But that's giving them all the power.
Exactly.
You have to take charge of your own well-being.
So taking care of yourself.
Yes.
Physically, emotionally, mentally.
All of it.
Having your own interests, your own friends.
Not expecting your partner to fulfill every single need.
And that makes me think of what we talked about before.
Some needs are better met outside of a romantic relationship.
Exactly.
So what kind of friend you geek out with about books or a mentor who helps you with your
career stuff.
It takes the pressure off the relationship.
It does.
Allows you to focus on the things that are unique to that connection.
So your partner is one piece of the puzzle.
One piece, not the whole thing.
Not the whole thing.
And when you have a full life outside the relationship, you bring more to the table.
You do.
More energy, more experiences.
You're not expecting them to be your only source of everything.
Why?
Entertainment, support, all of that.
You're a whole person coming to the relationship.
That takes us back to dating like it's your job.
It does.
When you're actively pursuing things you love, building a life you're excited about, you're
going to be more attracted.
You're going to attract people.
Yeah.
It's like, you can't pour from an empty cup.
I love that.
You have to fill your own cup first.
Yeah.
Before you can share it with someone else.
Dr. Turbin's insights are challenging.
AR.
But also really liberating.
AR.
And encouraging us to take control, be intentional about the relationships we create.
And never settle.
Never settle.
For less than you deserve.
So much to think about.
There is.
But it gives us a framework, you know, for understanding the complexities of modern love.
It's about understanding the dynamics.
Yeah.
Knowing your worth.
And putting in the effort.
To create the connection you want.
Well, that was a deep dive.
It was.
Thanks for joining us, everyone.
We hope you found it insightful, thought-provoking.
Maybe even a little inspiring.
And as always, keep the conversation going in our online community.
You'd love to hear your thoughts.
On this ever-evolving topic.
Until next time, keep diving deep.