WEBVTT 00:00:08.959 --> 00:00:12.519 Hello, you wonderful explorers, and welcome to 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:15.759 another episode of The Psychic Explorer. It is 00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:19.239 March and it is... No, it's not. It's April. 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:21.760 I'm recording this in March, but it is April 00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:23.920 when you are listening to this, or at least when 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:27.300 it goes live. Oh, dear, this girl... Yeah, hello. 00:00:29.980 --> 00:00:34.240 Another solo episode from my good self to your 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:39.490 ears. How are you? You know, I am so grateful, 00:00:39.750 --> 00:00:43.409 so, so grateful that Anne -Marie allowed me to 00:00:43.409 --> 00:00:47.210 record our conversation and put her words out 00:00:47.210 --> 00:00:49.789 into the world. The feedback I've had has been 00:00:49.789 --> 00:00:52.929 that it was just a wonderful listening. It was 00:00:52.929 --> 00:00:56.149 exactly what I had hoped it would be, and it 00:00:56.149 --> 00:01:00.049 was exactly what I was aiming for in my last 00:01:00.049 --> 00:01:04.010 solo episode, and that is authenticity. I had 00:01:04.010 --> 00:01:06.950 to put that last solo episode out because I had 00:01:06.950 --> 00:01:09.290 come to a realization that I was trying to be 00:01:09.290 --> 00:01:13.609 something that I wasn't. I'm not natural at this. 00:01:13.769 --> 00:01:16.810 I'm not natural at social media. And I was trying 00:01:16.810 --> 00:01:20.969 to be something more than... I hasten to use 00:01:20.969 --> 00:01:24.269 the word capable because I think for me that 00:01:24.269 --> 00:01:26.829 indicates that I've not got it in me, but... 00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:31.040 I just don't want to be that person who I'm constantly 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:34.079 trying to upload stuff. I'm constantly chasing 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:36.200 the lights and all that because that takes me 00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:39.120 out of the reason I am doing this. I am doing 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:42.680 this to show you and share with you my journey 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:45.890 and it's funny isn't it because... Since I released 00:01:45.890 --> 00:01:48.409 that episode, I don't know if whether these things 00:01:48.409 --> 00:01:50.629 have been there all the time and I just become 00:01:50.629 --> 00:01:53.170 more aware of it almost like when you break up 00:01:53.170 --> 00:01:55.769 with someone When you break up with someone and 00:01:55.769 --> 00:01:58.810 you suddenly notice every single song is about 00:01:58.810 --> 00:02:03.150 a breakup I felt that about this theme of authenticity 00:02:03.150 --> 00:02:06.890 since I released my last solo episode that Everything 00:02:06.890 --> 00:02:08.969 I've been hearing everything I've been reading 00:02:08.969 --> 00:02:12.560 everything I've been seeing has been about authenticity 00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:16.300 and whether or not you are authentic in your 00:02:16.300 --> 00:02:18.719 mediumship and your psychic work. And I find 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:20.539 it really interesting. I don't know if it's, 00:02:20.539 --> 00:02:21.699 like I said, I don't know if it's just because 00:02:21.699 --> 00:02:24.259 I've noticed it or if there's something else 00:02:24.259 --> 00:02:27.319 going on that just signs of coming my way. But 00:02:27.319 --> 00:02:29.659 everything I've been hearing and listening to 00:02:29.659 --> 00:02:32.740 and seeing has been about the importance and 00:02:32.740 --> 00:02:36.789 the value of... Being your true self, you know, 00:02:37.150 --> 00:02:39.430 me and my other half, we have just finished watching 00:02:39.430 --> 00:02:42.930 a 10 -part drama series called The Other Bennett 00:02:42.930 --> 00:02:45.930 Sister. And if you're in the UK, go on to BBC 00:02:45.930 --> 00:02:49.629 iPlayer. Honestly, it's such a lovely, gentle 00:02:49.629 --> 00:02:52.110 watch. It's the sort of programme that used to 00:02:52.110 --> 00:02:54.789 be on Sunday afternoons or Sunday evenings on 00:02:54.789 --> 00:02:58.400 BBC2. And it just hearts back to my childhood. 00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:03.400 It's sort of like a Pride and Prejudice, Regency 00:03:03.400 --> 00:03:07.439 period style period drama. And it's lovely. It's 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:10.139 just very gentle. If you're in the US, I don't 00:03:10.139 --> 00:03:12.500 think it's coming to you until May. I think in 00:03:12.500 --> 00:03:15.219 Australia, I think it was released on Binge. 00:03:15.500 --> 00:03:18.039 I don't know what Binge is, but I'm sure if you're 00:03:18.039 --> 00:03:20.819 in Australia, you do. But that was released already 00:03:20.819 --> 00:03:24.759 over there. If you can. watch it it's just like 00:03:24.759 --> 00:03:28.840 it's just beautiful and the story is exactly 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:31.439 what i was getting at it's about authenticity 00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:36.479 it's about uh it's it's about being you and I 00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:39.099 wanted to share with you, since I released that 00:03:39.099 --> 00:03:43.400 episode, I found that my mediumship has something 00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:46.259 to happen to it. It really has. It's like it's 00:03:46.259 --> 00:03:49.900 hit the next level. And I'm not saying that to 00:03:49.900 --> 00:03:53.659 be cocky or to be egotistical or to blow my own 00:03:53.659 --> 00:03:59.099 trumpet, but... I was invited to hold a platform 00:03:59.099 --> 00:04:04.900 service online for a lovely online centre called 00:04:04.900 --> 00:04:07.580 Bright Angels Spiritualist Centre and it's really, 00:04:07.580 --> 00:04:10.180 really lovely. They do their service or they 00:04:10.180 --> 00:04:12.639 put on a service on Zoom most Monday evenings 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:16.100 UK time. It's free so if you want to go along 00:04:16.100 --> 00:04:19.660 you can find their information on Facebook but 00:04:19.660 --> 00:04:23.220 I did my service a week ago today actually a 00:04:23.220 --> 00:04:27.079 week ago from recording today and I was so terrified 00:04:27.079 --> 00:04:30.639 I was so nervous as I always am whenever you 00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:33.639 stand up and you either do this in front of people 00:04:33.639 --> 00:04:35.759 face -to -face or you sit in front of a laptop 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:39.600 with a screen full of faces you think oh god 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:42.399 I've got to do this and hopefully I don't fall 00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:47.230 flat on my face And it just sang. It was wonderful. 00:04:47.509 --> 00:04:50.350 It was message after message after message. And 00:04:50.350 --> 00:04:55.810 I noticed that my messages were becoming, they 00:04:55.810 --> 00:04:58.290 were becoming deeper. They were becoming more 00:04:58.290 --> 00:05:02.410 personal. I was able to get facts, information. 00:05:02.810 --> 00:05:05.370 feelings from these people's loved ones from 00:05:05.370 --> 00:05:09.610 beyond, stronger than I would have or I did before. 00:05:09.829 --> 00:05:13.970 I was able to place situations around their living 00:05:13.970 --> 00:05:17.689 family members that I would never have even dreamed 00:05:17.689 --> 00:05:20.509 of being able to do before and that was now coming 00:05:20.509 --> 00:05:24.569 online for me. I was amazed and I came off that 00:05:24.569 --> 00:05:28.509 Zoom platform just elated, absolutely elated. 00:05:28.569 --> 00:05:31.639 I was so, so happy with it. And I've done a couple 00:05:31.639 --> 00:05:35.100 more of my practice circles since then and the 00:05:35.100 --> 00:05:37.879 same thing. Like the evidence I seem to be bringing 00:05:37.879 --> 00:05:41.839 through is like, oh, okay, I think I've hit a 00:05:41.839 --> 00:05:43.899 stride here. I think I've hit something new. 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:48.180 And I wonder how much of that is connected to 00:05:48.180 --> 00:05:55.300 my... I laugh and I pause because the word that 00:05:55.300 --> 00:05:59.120 comes to mind here is surrender. I don't like 00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:03.000 using that word when it comes to mediumship because, 00:06:04.740 --> 00:06:07.300 A, because it can be batted around quite a bit, 00:06:07.300 --> 00:06:10.939 but also to me, the word surrender means that 00:06:10.939 --> 00:06:14.600 I, not that I'm not in control, but it means 00:06:14.600 --> 00:06:18.899 that I'm submitting to something else and I don't 00:06:18.899 --> 00:06:23.300 like to do that. I am not a submissive person. 00:06:24.199 --> 00:06:27.720 just because of a higher power. I know it's a 00:06:27.720 --> 00:06:29.560 really random thing, but the royal family, for 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:33.480 example, to me personally, not fuss whatsoever. 00:06:33.660 --> 00:06:35.759 I don't understand it. I don't understand why 00:06:35.759 --> 00:06:37.939 there's this thing in this country that I live 00:06:37.939 --> 00:06:41.639 in, where there is this deference to an individual 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:44.500 who happened to be born into a certain family. 00:06:44.740 --> 00:06:46.939 It's beyond me. I don't understand it. So this 00:06:46.939 --> 00:06:50.449 word surrender... It does not sit easy with me, 00:06:50.449 --> 00:06:53.889 but since I've surrendered to this authenticity, 00:06:54.509 --> 00:06:59.310 my authentic me, something happened to my mediumship, 00:06:59.310 --> 00:07:03.870 it really has gone to another level. And again, 00:07:03.870 --> 00:07:06.910 as I say this, everything I've been listening 00:07:06.910 --> 00:07:10.550 to this past week or two has just been about 00:07:10.550 --> 00:07:13.250 this. It's been about authenticity and the importance 00:07:13.250 --> 00:07:17.170 of being authentic to yourself. And I'm wondering 00:07:17.170 --> 00:07:20.800 why that is. By me being more authentic, by me 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:24.120 embracing my authenticity, why has that changed 00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:27.000 things? I think it's because I'm just more comfortable. 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:31.060 I'm more comfortable in my own skin, I'm more 00:07:31.060 --> 00:07:35.779 comfortable presenting me as me. So therefore, 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:38.480 there's not this barrier, there's not this expectation, 00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:42.500 there's not this otherness that there was before, 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:45.699 I suppose. And I wonder why it's taken me so 00:07:45.699 --> 00:07:48.079 long. And I know I've only been doing this for 00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:50.259 two and a half years or so now. I wonder why 00:07:50.259 --> 00:07:52.639 it took me so long to finally hit this point. 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:57.500 And I guess everyone can say that about any situation 00:07:57.500 --> 00:08:00.620 in their life, can't they? Why did it take me 00:08:00.620 --> 00:08:04.720 so long? I'm minded to read you something that 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:08.680 I wrote in a journal about a year or so ago, 00:08:08.819 --> 00:08:10.959 and it sort of touches on this. You'll have to 00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:14.199 forgive me. This journal entry that I am going 00:08:14.199 --> 00:08:16.740 to read out in a moment is not fluid. It's sort 00:08:16.740 --> 00:08:19.360 of about here, there, and everywhere in typical 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:23.019 Matt Morris fashion. But as I read this back 00:08:23.019 --> 00:08:26.079 to myself, almost an entire, well, just over 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:30.120 a year on from writing it originally, I'm minded 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:33.399 to highlight just the importance of patience, 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:38.000 that time works on us all. And like someone who 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:42.960 I want to call a friend, Kelsey Anderson. I know 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:45.620 I mentioned her in the last episode, in the last 00:08:45.620 --> 00:08:48.440 solo episode, but she messaged me today with 00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:52.240 a wonderful episode which she, I don't think 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:53.860 she'll mind me saying this because she says it 00:08:53.860 --> 00:08:57.110 in the episode that she sent me. But she took 00:08:57.110 --> 00:09:00.710 inspiration from my podcast, and I'm so honored. 00:09:00.830 --> 00:09:03.870 I feel so incredibly honored that somebody would 00:09:03.870 --> 00:09:08.269 listen to my work, listen to my craft, and take 00:09:08.269 --> 00:09:11.070 inspiration from it. Honestly, I'm so, so humbled 00:09:11.070 --> 00:09:14.129 by it. And the episode that Kelsey sent me was 00:09:14.129 --> 00:09:18.070 just glorious, just gorgeous. I loved it. And 00:09:18.070 --> 00:09:21.149 she was talking about how the stones on this 00:09:21.149 --> 00:09:24.070 beach that she was at, she was at this lake in 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:28.690 Montana. and she was picking up a stone and she 00:09:28.690 --> 00:09:31.809 was saying how it's been shaped by time, it's 00:09:31.809 --> 00:09:34.769 been shaped by the glaciers, it's been shaped 00:09:34.769 --> 00:09:39.250 by the water, it's been shaped by the wind. And 00:09:39.250 --> 00:09:44.210 isn't that true of us all? How we all take time 00:09:44.210 --> 00:09:47.610 to come to ourselves. So I will read you out 00:09:47.610 --> 00:09:51.460 what I wrote. almost a year ago and again forgive 00:09:51.460 --> 00:09:54.480 me for the the scatterness of this but it's not 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:57.980 poetic it's not meant to be a poem it's just 00:09:57.980 --> 00:10:02.440 my random my random scribbles just while i was 00:10:02.440 --> 00:10:06.480 meditating this random scribble time will pass 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:09.899 no matter we all feel the passage of time differently 00:10:09.899 --> 00:10:13.159 from one another for some it's quick others it's 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:17.980 even quicker we try to control too much Instead, 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:21.480 try just feeling the moment. It's going to pass 00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:24.840 no matter, so take time to feel it, even if it's 00:10:24.840 --> 00:10:28.879 shitty. If we are here to learn lessons, then 00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:32.799 we need the time to learn them. The sun will 00:10:32.799 --> 00:10:35.379 come up tomorrow, and it will go down tomorrow, 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:39.480 whether we are here or not. We live too fast. 00:10:40.549 --> 00:10:43.490 A slow cooked dinner tastes so much better than 00:10:43.490 --> 00:10:46.289 a quick microwave meal for a reason. Let the 00:10:46.289 --> 00:10:49.750 spices of life simmer. Let them mature. Let them 00:10:49.750 --> 00:10:53.570 infuse. By slowing down, we can make sense of 00:10:53.570 --> 00:10:56.830 more. We can appreciate more. We can understand 00:10:56.830 --> 00:10:59.990 more. And if we understand more, we can move 00:10:59.990 --> 00:11:03.269 forward safely, thoughtfully and in balance. 00:11:04.409 --> 00:11:07.730 Take that time to love. Let the love simmer. 00:11:08.370 --> 00:11:13.370 Let it blend. and let it infuse. I wrote that 00:11:13.370 --> 00:11:15.490 when I was supposed to be meditating. Dana Woolley 00:11:15.490 --> 00:11:19.330 holds a weekly City in a Power meditation and 00:11:19.330 --> 00:11:22.950 I go most weekends but this time I couldn't connect. 00:11:23.330 --> 00:11:26.230 Sometimes I sit there and I listen to the music 00:11:26.230 --> 00:11:28.789 that Dana is playing, I listen to her meditation 00:11:28.789 --> 00:11:32.350 and I am in my own head and I think no I can't 00:11:32.350 --> 00:11:35.490 do this tonight so instead in those moments I 00:11:35.490 --> 00:11:39.110 just take the time to take my notebook and journal 00:11:39.110 --> 00:11:42.470 whilst she's talking me through this meditation 00:11:42.470 --> 00:11:46.149 whilst I'm listening to the music I just scribble 00:11:46.149 --> 00:11:50.009 whatever wants to come through and that was one 00:11:50.009 --> 00:11:54.789 of those one of those scribbles and I find it 00:11:54.789 --> 00:11:59.470 really lovely and synchronicity synchronicity 00:11:59.470 --> 00:12:04.679 synchronicity Not sure. You know what I'm trying 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:08.279 to say. But I find it, whatever that word is, 00:12:08.700 --> 00:12:12.360 I find it that because it's almost exactly a 00:12:12.360 --> 00:12:16.059 year to the day since I wrote that. And I'm now 00:12:16.059 --> 00:12:19.080 having this revelation that I needed that time 00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:23.360 to get lost in my mediumship. I needed that time 00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:27.399 to question it. I needed that time to question 00:12:27.399 --> 00:12:32.450 what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Amary Passano 00:12:32.450 --> 00:12:35.210 in the last guest episode and I hope you will 00:12:35.210 --> 00:12:39.409 agree. What a fabulous episode. What a fabulous 00:12:39.409 --> 00:12:41.950 person Amary is. And if you haven't listened 00:12:41.950 --> 00:12:45.610 to it by the way, stop now. Pause, go back and 00:12:45.610 --> 00:12:49.450 listen because it is a treat. It really is a 00:12:49.450 --> 00:12:52.330 treat for the ears. But if you did listen to 00:12:52.330 --> 00:12:54.970 it, then you will know that she found that her 00:12:54.970 --> 00:12:58.429 mediumship and her spirituality ebbed and flowed. 00:12:58.509 --> 00:13:04.389 It stopped. It started. It paused. It restarted. 00:13:05.049 --> 00:13:08.549 It contracted and expanded. And when I asked 00:13:08.549 --> 00:13:10.830 her, what would you change? She said nothing. 00:13:12.230 --> 00:13:14.529 Would I want to be quicker? Maybe would I want 00:13:14.529 --> 00:13:18.250 to be this? Maybe. But actually, she said she 00:13:18.250 --> 00:13:21.610 wouldn't change it because the lessons that she 00:13:21.610 --> 00:13:25.529 learned... along the way was so incredibly helpful. 00:13:26.009 --> 00:13:29.029 And if you are in this stage of your mediumship 00:13:29.029 --> 00:13:31.970 where you are not sure whether or not to carry 00:13:31.970 --> 00:13:35.350 on, whether or not you are good enough, whether 00:13:35.350 --> 00:13:39.110 or not you are meant to do this, then you're 00:13:39.110 --> 00:13:42.289 in exactly the right place that you need to be. 00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:46.350 It might be uncomfortable. It will be uncomfortable. 00:13:46.590 --> 00:13:49.789 It's not comfortable at all when you're in that 00:13:49.789 --> 00:13:53.179 space. Feel what you need to feel in this moment 00:13:53.179 --> 00:13:57.200 in time, because at some point, whether it be 00:13:57.200 --> 00:14:01.019 a year from now, when you look back and you reflect 00:14:01.019 --> 00:14:04.399 on your journey, you will realise how unshackled 00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:08.759 you have become, how free you are to just run 00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:25.179 and live your path. If you want to hear more 00:14:25.179 --> 00:14:27.919 stories of living your path, then you are in 00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:31.080 the right place. My next guest, the wonderful, 00:14:31.100 --> 00:14:34.279 the excellent Natalie Lockett is just incredible. 00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:37.059 She so generously came on to The Psychic Explorer 00:14:37.059 --> 00:14:39.620 to not only explore her path, but to explore 00:14:39.620 --> 00:14:43.700 her journey and share her stories. Natalie is 00:14:43.700 --> 00:14:45.840 on the next episode of The Psyche Explorers, 00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:48.460 so make sure you are subscribed. Hit that notification 00:14:48.460 --> 00:14:50.919 bell to ensure that all new episodes go straight 00:14:50.919 --> 00:15:09.169 to your phone so you can hear them first. In 00:15:09.169 --> 00:15:11.830 the meantime though, let's get back to this episode 00:15:11.830 --> 00:15:29.230 where I'm taking you to my garden. Hello and 00:15:29.230 --> 00:15:32.929 welcome to the second half of this episode. I'm 00:15:32.929 --> 00:15:37.149 coming to you from my back garden in the middle 00:15:37.149 --> 00:15:40.360 of Norfolk. the sun is just setting over the 00:15:40.360 --> 00:15:46.399 hedge it is a beautiful blue sky over overhead 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:49.100 and the birds are chaffed around I don't know 00:15:49.100 --> 00:15:52.120 if you can hear them or not but what a beautiful 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:54.139 day it has turned out to be I was a bit drizzly 00:15:54.139 --> 00:15:58.299 this morning I was out one of my clients and 00:15:58.299 --> 00:16:01.639 I thought I might be rained off but it is or 00:16:01.639 --> 00:16:04.519 it has turned into an absolutely belter of a 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:09.039 day Tonight is the full moon, and I believe it's 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:13.639 called the pink moon. It's the day before Good 00:16:13.639 --> 00:16:17.519 Friday. Lots of people are taking the long weekend 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:20.480 off. I am not. I'm working tomorrow. I'm Monday. 00:16:21.159 --> 00:16:24.759 But that's fine. I never observe Easter anyway, 00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:27.720 so that's fine by me. And it gives me an opportunity 00:16:27.720 --> 00:16:31.860 to just reflect on this time of year, on this 00:16:31.860 --> 00:16:34.610 spring. Rebirth, I guess that's what this this 00:16:34.610 --> 00:16:36.509 weekend does pose in the Christian countenance. 00:16:36.549 --> 00:16:39.350 At least it's all about it's about death and 00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:44.049 rebirth and I'm minded to Think of the tarot 00:16:44.049 --> 00:16:47.950 card the death card where to the layman the death 00:16:47.950 --> 00:16:51.610 card might be something which is Scary, it might 00:16:51.610 --> 00:16:54.250 be something which is troubling. It might be 00:16:54.250 --> 00:16:57.289 a negative thing. But actually for those are 00:16:57.289 --> 00:17:01.539 versed in tarot the death card means death of 00:17:01.539 --> 00:17:04.720 something else to give way to something new, 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:11.519 something better. As I'm sat here in my garden, 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:14.779 I am looking at my cherry tree, I'm looking at 00:17:14.779 --> 00:17:18.619 my pear and my apple trees and they're all in 00:17:18.619 --> 00:17:22.359 bloom, they're all in blossom, sorry. The daffodils 00:17:22.359 --> 00:17:26.079 are just going over but the primroses are all 00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:30.150 out and there are promises of life. ahead. There 00:17:30.150 --> 00:17:34.130 are promises of the new year, the new summer, 00:17:34.289 --> 00:17:39.069 the new growing season. And sitting here in this 00:17:39.069 --> 00:17:42.569 garden looking at all this new life I'm aware 00:17:42.569 --> 00:17:46.450 that spring doesn't just happen. The blossom 00:17:46.450 --> 00:17:49.970 didn't just appear overnight, the bulbs didn't 00:17:49.970 --> 00:17:54.049 just suddenly flower. It's been working underground 00:17:54.049 --> 00:17:58.400 quietly all winter, all this time. while the 00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:02.440 world has been asleep. And I think my practice 00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:05.440 is a bit like this right now. There is a growth 00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:08.420 happening, I know there is, but there's also 00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:13.019 work to do, specifically my one -to -ones. My 00:18:13.019 --> 00:18:16.339 platform work I feel comfortable with, it feels 00:18:16.339 --> 00:18:20.960 comfortable and feel confident with it. But my 00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:23.700 one -to -one readings sitting with one person, 00:18:24.079 --> 00:18:27.170 just me and them and whoever comes through, I've 00:18:27.170 --> 00:18:30.349 not really practiced that and that's where I 00:18:30.349 --> 00:18:34.170 feel wobbly. That's where I know I need to push 00:18:34.170 --> 00:18:39.089 myself next. I've reached out to a couple of 00:18:39.089 --> 00:18:42.509 people about mentorship because I think that 00:18:42.509 --> 00:18:47.529 this is somewhere that I need help. And I need 00:18:47.529 --> 00:18:53.230 someone to help me find that next layer. Or at 00:18:53.230 --> 00:18:56.839 least pull that layer back. and delve into it. 00:18:57.279 --> 00:18:59.700 Again going back to the first half that is me 00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:03.240 being honest with myself, that is me being authentic 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:06.700 with myself even when it's not entirely comfortable 00:19:06.700 --> 00:19:10.720 to admit. You know I've gone through it's taken 00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:13.700 me this far to feel comfortable with where I'm 00:19:13.700 --> 00:19:23.519 at and yet there's still more to work at. The 00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.319 birds are flitting from one tree to another trying 00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:29.559 to find caterpillars for their young that I guess 00:19:29.559 --> 00:19:32.740 they've just given birth or that are just hatched. 00:19:33.259 --> 00:19:36.680 I can hear the pheasants in the fields beyond 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:41.380 the hedges that surround my small garden and 00:19:41.380 --> 00:19:43.799 they're on the lookout for mates, they're on 00:19:43.799 --> 00:19:47.500 the lookout for female pheasants to continue 00:19:47.500 --> 00:19:55.279 the circle of life. I feel like I've sort of 00:19:55.279 --> 00:19:59.880 come to a bit of an impasse because as far as 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:03.220 my my practice is concerned I know that I'm not 00:20:03.220 --> 00:20:06.680 doing enough of it when I started in January 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:09.579 or rather when I spoke about what I wanted to 00:20:09.579 --> 00:20:11.319 do for my New Year's resolution if I were to 00:20:11.319 --> 00:20:13.460 have one it would be to practice practice practice 00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:16.920 and know that I'm not doing enough of it and 00:20:16.920 --> 00:20:20.859 when I think about why it's I come back to that 00:20:20.859 --> 00:20:24.839 guilt of spending time with loved ones, spending 00:20:24.839 --> 00:20:29.940 time with Simon, not borrowing my way upstairs 00:20:29.940 --> 00:20:34.380 and in the back bedroom. And if you can hear 00:20:34.380 --> 00:20:35.720 that by the way in the background, that's not 00:20:35.720 --> 00:20:40.420 gunshots. It's the bird -scarers in the fields. 00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:44.200 They go off three times in a row every half hour 00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:48.859 or so. But yeah, I do feel this tension between 00:20:48.859 --> 00:20:53.900 really wanting to practice and commitment to 00:20:53.900 --> 00:20:59.819 others, not wanting to upset, not wanting to 00:20:59.819 --> 00:21:03.880 be perceived as obsessed by this mediumship, 00:21:04.059 --> 00:21:07.960 this psychic work that I am delving into. But 00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:11.740 if I'm going to link this back to the first half 00:21:11.740 --> 00:21:14.240 of this episode, which is all about authenticity, 00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:18.000 all about patience, I have to remember that I 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:20.740 have to be authentic to myself and sometimes 00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:23.640 Being authentic to yourself can make other people 00:21:23.640 --> 00:21:30.839 uncomfortable. And I know that that's a tightrope. 00:21:31.059 --> 00:21:35.680 We all have to learn to walk and remind ourselves. 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:41.759 I think I am ready to take my next step on this 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:46.220 journey. I've reached out to a couple of people 00:21:46.220 --> 00:21:51.400 about mentorship, about being mentored. Because 00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:54.140 I don't know where to go. I don't know what to 00:21:54.140 --> 00:21:59.839 do. I don't really know how to proceed. I know 00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:02.519 I need to practice on my one -to -ones, my platform 00:22:02.519 --> 00:22:07.299 work I'm uncomfortable with. Even though I, again, 00:22:07.299 --> 00:22:09.900 going back to the first half of this episode, 00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:12.440 I was talking about being much more comfortable 00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:15.980 with my readings on platform and being confident 00:22:15.980 --> 00:22:18.559 with that. I did a practice circle last night 00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:22.269 and... I didn't fall flat on my face but it was 00:22:22.269 --> 00:22:25.990 a struggle. I couldn't quite interpret well what 00:22:25.990 --> 00:22:31.049 I was receiving. But I know that I am more comfortable 00:22:31.049 --> 00:22:33.690 and more competent in my platform work than I 00:22:33.690 --> 00:22:36.789 am my one -to -one work and I know that the one 00:22:36.789 --> 00:22:41.730 -to -one work is really where I can help people, 00:22:41.750 --> 00:22:45.269 where I can affect people in a positive way. 00:22:47.139 --> 00:22:49.019 and I don't know where to go, I don't know what 00:22:49.019 --> 00:22:52.319 to do so I've reached out to a few people and 00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.779 I'm just waiting to hear back and so I will keep 00:22:54.779 --> 00:22:57.220 you up to date with that progress and where I 00:22:57.220 --> 00:23:00.240 end up on that journey or whether that takes 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:18.240 my journey further hopefully. I don't know if 00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:21.900 you heard that, but there was a flock of blue 00:23:21.900 --> 00:23:25.019 tits just flew around the garden and they flew 00:23:25.019 --> 00:23:28.380 around me and they skimmed my microphone. Hopefully 00:23:28.380 --> 00:23:33.000 you heard that. And as they do that, I'm reminded 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:36.059 that this shouldn't be too serious. This should 00:23:36.059 --> 00:23:41.119 be fun. Something that Kelsey Anderson, the lovely 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:44.720 Kelsey Anderson said that... This work should 00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.160 be joyful this work should be playful and she 00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:49.059 needs to she was saying that she needs to find 00:23:49.059 --> 00:23:54.660 her playful and The same is that same for me. 00:23:54.660 --> 00:23:56.660 I'm far too serious when it comes to this. I'm 00:23:56.660 --> 00:24:00.960 not playful enough. I know that and Seeing these 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:05.400 birds flutter around my garden Whether they're 00:24:05.400 --> 00:24:08.299 fledglings or their parents I think they might 00:24:08.299 --> 00:24:11.259 be fledglings because they have the energy of 00:24:11.259 --> 00:24:14.130 these fledglings or just flying around chasing 00:24:14.130 --> 00:24:16.710 each other and were excited that they could use 00:24:16.710 --> 00:24:22.789 their wings for the first time. And I suppose, 00:24:22.930 --> 00:24:25.970 as I think about it, that's how I want to get, 00:24:26.390 --> 00:24:32.049 I want that awe, I want that discovery of a new 00:24:32.049 --> 00:24:37.029 skill, of discovery of flight in so many, I guess 00:24:37.029 --> 00:24:44.039 not so many words. I'm excited to see where this 00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:48.180 journey takes me. I'm excited to see where mentorship 00:24:48.180 --> 00:24:52.099 can take me. So I'm sorry if this second half 00:24:52.099 --> 00:24:54.819 sounds a bit disjointed from the first. I just 00:24:54.819 --> 00:24:56.859 felt compelled to come out into the garden this 00:24:56.859 --> 00:25:00.700 evening, watch the sunset go down, and do a little 00:25:00.700 --> 00:25:02.579 recording in the back garden so you can hear 00:25:02.579 --> 00:25:06.680 the soundscape of my garden. And tonight is the 00:25:06.680 --> 00:25:11.579 full moon, as I said, so... I am setting my intention 00:25:11.579 --> 00:25:20.400 that for the next cycle I can open my heart to 00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:26.200 receive more guidance, to receive more tutelage, 00:25:27.779 --> 00:25:32.079 to learn more and to put into practice more. 00:25:35.980 --> 00:25:39.039 Take from that what you will. I don't feel like 00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:40.920 I'm in a position to tell you what to think or 00:25:40.920 --> 00:25:43.420 what to do or what to say but if you've been 00:25:43.420 --> 00:25:47.619 inspired by that then go forward and take that 00:25:47.619 --> 00:25:51.660 into your into your practice into your life and 00:25:51.660 --> 00:25:55.619 I'll leave you with the sounds of my garden sending 00:25:55.619 --> 00:25:58.339 you all my love take care guys bye