Dr. Jerry, you got the whole world waiting. Been
ready for you to start the conversation. No point
of view, we got the haters confused. Leave it
up to you to bring us all the good news. Positive
vibes and a sex appeal too. Dr. Andre Jerry,
can I get an interview? You, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you of Live with Dr. Andre Jerry,
your weekly destination for bold conversations,
unfiltered truth, and practical inspiration to
help you unlock your best life. I'm your host,
Dr. Andre Jerry, and we're broadcasting live
from beautiful San Juan, Puerto Rico, and tonight's
episode is a little different. Now usually I'd
say we're back with another random rants and
real talk episode, but not tonight. Tonight...
I'm going to expand on one of the most talked
about segments from the show, the one we call
Better Late Than Never. Now, Better Late Than
Never is a fun segment where many of you know
where I've poke fun at myself for being notoriously
late to everything from pop culture to movies,
TV shows, music, and especially, especially social
media trends. I don't know what it is about the
trends, but I'm notoriously late for those but
listen I've had a lot of fun with that particular
segment and we're gonna continue that but for
tonight's episode I wanted to take a little bit
of a different approach to the concept of better
late than never and I wanted to expand that and
make it applicable to personal development and
the reason why I wanted to explore this is because
I've noticed that a lot of people maybe even
some of you have this notion or believe that
you're too old to adopt new habits or a new lifestyle
or just adopting something new or a better way
of going about things. Listen, as long as you
have breath in your body, it's never too late.
It's never too late to learn or to grow or to
expand. So tonight I want to speak directly to
the part of you that knows that you could be
doing more. But... Perhaps you feel like it's
too late. You know, I really want to help someone
out there change their mindset about that sort
of thing. Maybe you have been wanting to take
action on something, but not quite sure what
to do or where to start. Or maybe you've had
like an idea or concept that you set on for years.
It could have even been a book or something like
that, but you set on it for years and now you
notice online or in social media somewhere where
someone has implemented your idea or at least
a version of your idea and you kind of think,
oh well, it's too late now, I can't do that.
I know that's happened to me before, but I don't
want you to feel that way because that thing
could simply just be a reminder or the nudge
or the fire. under your butt that you need to
finally get your version of that idea out into
the world. Think about this. Every business has
competition. That's just the way it is. There's
always going to be something bigger, a better
product, a better service out there. That's no
matter what business that you're in. But there's
no one that's going to be able to put the special
touch on that idea or that concept that you can.
You bring something very unique to the table
So it doesn't matter if a thousand other people
have your same idea have faith in what you bring
to the table your unique difference Better late
than never you're gonna get tired of hearing
me say that tonight But that phrase might just
be the key to unlocking the best part of your
life So let's go ahead and get into it. So I'm
gonna start by reiterating this you're not too
old It's not too late, and you're not too far
gone to make changes or to try something different.
You are just one decision away from a better
version of yourself. And so I'm going to give
you some practical, doable, real -world things
that will help you level up. OK? So let's go
ahead and dig in. The first thing I want you
to consider is starting a YouTube channel. Okay?
Hear me out. I talked about this briefly in one
of the past episodes we had, but tonight I want
to kind of discuss it a little bit more in detail.
So for a moment, I want you to stop thinking
of YouTube from a consumer perspective. And I
want you to start looking at it from a business
standpoint. Put your business hat on. And it
doesn't matter if you, you know, whether you
consider yourself a business person or entrepreneur,
or a stay -at -home mom, a stay -at -home dad,
a retired person, unemployed, in -between jobs,
it doesn't matter. But I really want you to start
considering creating a YouTube channel, and here's
why. I know you may not consider yourself a teacher
or a coach or even a mentor, but there's something
that you know or something that you have experienced
that, if shared, Could help somebody they could
help somebody who's going through the same type
of thing or something similar and they're struggling
with it they're struggling with it or they may
feel like they're the only ones going through
that particular thing and You putting your spin
on it or talking about your version of it It's
not saying that you're some guru and you know,
you have all the answers a lot of times what
it can be is just sharing what you've gone through
are venting about it. It could not only be a
catharsis for you, but it could help someone
else to get unstuck. A lot of people are just
stuck. And I know a lot of you are probably thinking,
look, I'm not telling all of my business on YouTube.
I hear you. I hear you. Maybe sharing personal
stories and some of your personal details aren't
really your thing. I can understand that. But
there are a ton of other content ideas that you
could look into. Many of those topics are a lot
more popular than the personal development space
that I'm a part of. There are channels where
100 % of the content is completely ripped off
and repackaged and reused. Maybe many of you
have heard about these types of channels. They're
very popular on tik -tok, especially it's called
OPC other people's content and So there's an
entire business model and courses and all types
of stuff that teach people how to monetize social
media content that are from other sources other
people's content and You know, there are people
who make thousands every month doing this thing
and Once I figure this shit out, I'm gonna do
it But like I said, there are tons of different
ideas out there that you could use for your own
YouTube channel content. I want you to consider
this YouTube is What's referred to as digital
real estate? It's the new TV Because I don't
know if you've noticed but nobody's watching
TV anymore. Not really. I know I don't And if
you're anything like me, you're probably using
your smart TV to watch YouTube or using it as
an extension to your laptop or your smartphone
or something like that. So, you know, it's the
new TV. That's where all of the content is being
watched now. And so I don't really care how boring
you think your life is. There is an audience
out there for you. There are people out there
who would find a lot of value in your content,
whatever it may be. Some of you have great stories
to tell. You're really great storytellers. And
your stories could inspire a lot of people. Some
of you are just funny. And your content could
be something that just gives people a five or
10 minute break from their day, their stressful
day, or something like that. Some of you love
to cook. you know, are really great at cooking
and have all types of recipes that are, like,
out of this world, or recipes that are budget
-friendly. A lot of people are looking up budget
-friendly recipes. That's an entire niche in
and of itself. On the other hand, a lot of you
may have been through and survived so much crap
in your life that, you know, to the point where
people wouldn't even believe some of it. And
hearing how you overcame all that could be just
what someone needed to hear to realize that,
you know what, I can get through this, I can
do this. And you know, even if you're like an
angry, hateful person who just likes being negative
all the time and complaining and talking shit
about other people, there's an audience out there
for that too. A huge audience. You know, so the
point I'm making is that YouTube gives you access
to a worldwide audience. I'm talking billions
of people. YouTube has over two billion active
users. So you can't tell me that there isn't
an audience for your type of content. And I haven't
even mentioned, you know, the people who are
existing entrepreneurs and business owners. And,
you know, you already have a product or service
that you're offering. In that case, you better
have a YouTube channel. I had to learn this stuff,
too. You're leaving exposure and you're leaving
consumers and customers and you're leaving money
on the table by having a business and not incorporating
YouTube into your business strategy somehow.
Okay? And here's the really great part. YouTube
is actively and aggressively seeking new content
creators. That means you. That means me. That
means everybody out there who Have a YouTube
account. We all use our Gmail or whatever to
have it. So you have a YouTube account, but you
don't have more than likely a YouTube channel.
So that's a little different. So I'm sure you've
heard about how much some of these content creators
make. And I'm going to talk about monetization
a little bit later. But yeah, YouTube is desperate
for new content creators. And when I say content
creators, I'm not talking about that overly polished
content that you see from these experienced youtubers
who you know been on YouTube for years and these
big influencers with a hundred K plus you know
subscribers and these viral videos and all of
that and they got the personal or professional
thumbnails and all the fancy equipment that's
that's not what YouTube is looking for right
now if you have all that stuff and you have that
going on great more power to you, but That's
not what's hot right now What YouTube is looking
for right now are regular? Everyday folks who
are just willing to turn on the camera phone
press record and just go and Talk about just
whatever is on their mind You know you only have
to worry about getting all dressed up and stuff
like that a lot of these people I'm sure you've
seen some of them. They only even comb their
hair. It looks like before doing a video You
know and believe it or not those are some of
the main videos that end up getting the most
views because it's relatable people can relate
to someone just rolling out of bed in their robe
with their coffee and their dog in their bed
and they're just disillusioned or depressed or
just can't deal today and they're just talking
about it they're talking about for 10 15 minutes
about how they just can't deal and people gravitate
towards that because it's real, it's unpolished,
it's unfiltered, and it makes other people who
are in similar situations feel like they're not
alone, like, that is so me right now. And you
wouldn't believe those people are getting hundreds
of thousands of views, which translates into
getting monetized and making a good living just
telling people about your life. You know, they're
they're dressing how they would dress at home.
They're just super casual They're in pajamas
like that. Like I said, they got their coffee
and their dog and they're just vending and ranting
You know talking about how lonely they have been
over the past couple of years or how depressed
they are And then sometimes it's about how great
everything is going look at me type thing and
there's an audience for that too and sometimes
you can follow people's journey and see them
going from a slump to finding a new job or hobby
and turn their life around and breaking addictions,
all types of stuff. And you're, instead of watching
sitcoms and different shows like we used to on
TV, we're following actual lives of real people.
And there are millions of videos of people who
just record content right from their cars. Because
a lot of times that's the only place where you
can just have a little bit of privacy or time
to yourself. You know, maybe they're posting
on their lunch break or something or in between
Uber rides or whatever the case may be. The important
thing is just to press record and just go. Don't
think too much about it. Don't rehearse what
you're going to say. Just be natural and real.
And let whomever gravitate to it, gravitate to
it. Don't concern yourself at first with views
and all of all that stuff and all the stuff I
used to do Just starting out don't go back and
rewatch your videos. Don't edit Editing is not
in right now. Really people don't want to look
at Super edited content. It just it's not relatable
Just record post and go through something else
or make the next video and forget about it Because
if you go back and watch your own content Then
you're going to start picking it apart and judging
it and, oh, why did I wear that? And I don't
like how I look in this. And it's just going
to be a mess. And you're going to get discouraged.
Or you're going to look at the views. The views
are just not going to be high starting out. Sometimes
it is. It just depends on the person. But don't
worry about all of that stuff. Just trust the
process and keep posting. OK? Now, I also want
you to consider this. Content creating has a
very low barrier to entry particularly if you're
already tech savvy or Social media savvy if you're
not No biggie. Don't worry about that. All this
stuff is teachable. You can learn as you go You
know, that's what I'm doing. I'm still learning
myself and I'm just hearing what I've learned
so far. I feel a lot to learn with this stuff
You know, so but listen seriously if you're not
already in business and you're looking to start
something, think about becoming a content creator.
It's pretty much the easiest side hustle out
there. And once you monetize it, it can start
paying quite handsomely, and you may be even
in a position where you can potentially replace
your full -time income. So basically all you
need is your phone, some good lighting, which...
Don't buy anything expensive. Use the sun. Use
the best lighting area in your house. And your
voice. That's all you need. You don't need a
lot of expensive equipment when you first start
out. You can add all that stuff later when you
start monetizing and making money. So this is
very beginner friendly. And, you know, the learning
curve is very low. If you know how to record
a video with your phone, then you know how to
post videos on YouTube. It's pretty much the
same thing. Uploading a video or sending a video
via text or something is that level of? Difficulty
you know so Now there are some technical things
like tagging and you know using keywords and
SEO Optimization and algorithms and all that
stuff you'll need to become familiarized with
that down the road as you Start to gain traction,
but starting out. I wouldn't worry about any
of that stuff Just focus on your content And
your main concern is just establishing a set
posting schedule. That's something I'm still
working on. Establish a set posting schedule
and get to your first 30 videos. By the time
you get to your first 30 videos, you'll be comfortable
with posting. You'll have some subscribers by
then. You'll have a good audience and following.
You'll start to gain your confidence as a content
creator. And you'll sort of find your footing.
in terms of what works, what doesn't work, what
type of direction you want to go with your channel.
You may need to experiment a little bit with
your content just to see what your audience responds
best to. I know that's something I'm doing with
my channels. I've experimented with different
types of videos. Like I would do a few long form
videos and I'll do some shorts. At least one
of my channel shorts seem to perform better so
I've you know continue with that stick with what
works But the point is don't be shy about trying
out different video forms and different content
ideas You know some of it may fall flat some
of it may only get seven views some Some of the
stuff you think is okay This happens a lot and
other content creators will tell you this the
video that you think isn't going to do anything
the one that you almost delete because you think
it's so stupid That's the one that's going to
end up with 7 ,000 and 10 ,000 views. I'm just
telling you this is how it goes and no one can
explain why or why this video and not this one
where I did this and I covered this and it's
just the algorithm. No one really knows. So don't
delete those old videos. A lot of these big subscribers,
not subscribers, but YouTubers and things like
that, a lot of them will tell you that it was
my early videos one of my early videos just went
viral out the blue like years after I uploaded
it and that's what kind of propelled their channel
and got them you know making a decent amount
on YouTube and you know from one or two videos
so just keep that stuff in mind okay and let's
talk about monetization I want to be completely
straightforward with you because a lot of misconceptions
about monetization Monetization, and we're talking
specifically about YouTube now, that should be,
that's a long game, okay? That should be a long
-term goal. We're talking a minimum of six months.
Some people can do it in three and stuff like
that. I think those are anomalies and unique
situations, but from my experience, and like
I said, I don't know it all, but I'm learning,
but in my experience, it takes anywhere from
six months to... you like one or two years before
you're invited to join the YouTube partnership
program. But if you stick to it, monetization
can become a real possibility for your channel.
You'll just need to put the work in first. And
like I said, it might take months, may take a
year, maybe two years before you start really
earning a significant income. But the key is
to stay consistent and just keep improving. Keep
studying your analytics and seeing what works,
seeing what your demographic is. Is it mostly
women? Is it mostly a certain age group? Take
a look at all that stuff, because it can help
you tailor your content to be more acceptable
to your particular demo. So just keep being consistent.
Keep improving. Keep engaging with your audience.
And you can really build something that's worthwhile.
So I'm going to reiterate monetization. That's
a long -term goal. If you're starting a YouTube
channel next week, for instance, don't expect
to see immediate profits in three or four months.
It's just likely not going to happen. Building
a YouTube channel is really akin to, I would
say, like starting your own TV network. You guys
remember when Oprah first launched the own network
When that network first debuted it it was a little
it wasn't the powerhouse it is today That channel
when it first came out it really struggled to
find its footing and to find his audience it
took years for own To kind of hit its stride
in fact it wasn't until Tyler Perry came along
with his first soap opera, The Haves and the
Have Nots, which I love that show. When it premiered
on own, that's really when the network started
to gain momentum. This was that show that changed
everything for the network. It was what they
call appointment television. It was must -see
TV for a lot of people. and you had to tune in
to own to watch it. This was before streaming
was a thing. It wasn't dominating the way it
is today where you can watch it when and where
you want. You know, cable TV was still where
people went to get their entertainment fixed.
So when the haves and the have nots premiered,
it became a cultural phenomenon. It was a really
big hit. And so that strategic partnership between
Oprah and Tyler Perry was, you know, in a lot
of ways a match made in heaven. The success of
that one show led to multiple spinoffs for Tyler
Perry. And that show became one of the cornerstones
of the own network. And that's where, this is
before Tyler Perry had, he had a studio, of course,
but he didn't really have a place to house his
shows. He had a few of them on, you know, a few
partnerships with TBN, but he had a lot of shows
that he wanted to get aired. And so that partnership
with Oprah just provided an opportunity for her
and also for him. So that was sort of behind
one of the driving forces behind the own network's
rise. And, you know, it didn't stop there. There
was another big show. And I know we all remember
this one, Iyanla Fixed My Life. That was a real
game -changer And I think that's the show I have
to go back and do some some study But I think
that's the show that started to help own turn
a profit But that show premiered back in 2012
and The series ran for I believe nine or ten
season. I think it was ten seasons so well over
a hundred episodes of course it featured the
great and why the yalla Vanzant who is a renowned
spiritual teacher and a life coach. She helped
to guide families and some individuals through
some really difficult personal changes and challenges.
And it was a reality show, but not like anything
that we had seen before. This was different.
It was transformative and it normalized. This
is what I love about that show. It normalized
the idea of black people seeking therapy because
it's not You know how we are in many black circles
and families. When you talk about getting therapy,
it just was like, oh, roll your eyes, or you
don't need no therapy. You just need to go smoke
a blunt or something or go have a drink. We kind
of made light of it. Not all black families,
but just pretty much collectively, large pockets
of black people did not look, they frowned upon
getting therapy. You know, now we take a little
bit more seriously because we see it. We've seen
it. We've seen, you know, how Iyanlai helped
shed light on a lot of the destructive patterns
of pain and trauma that runs deep in a lot of
black families. You know, especially those carrying
the weight of a lot of generational trauma. You
know, that's another whole long conversation,
but just stuff that's caused by just decades
and of slavery and oppression and systemic racism.
But it was a groundbreaking show that encouraged
healing and opening up and having difficult conversations
that we run from about our mental health, about
our emotional well -being. And like I said, it
took away that therapy stigmatization that...
that's been prevalent for a lot of years. So
in my opinion, Iyanla Fix My Life, Iyanla Fix
My Life, that was one of the best shows on television.
I hate it when it went off. But it really offered
something truly profound in terms of healing
and self -discovery. And now we see numerous
shows like that now. They're helping people to
overcome difficult obstacles. and it gave a voice
to stories that we just don't typically hear
about. So it really was a cultural milestone
in the realm of personal development, which is
the space that I occupy. So I was really excited
about that show and what it did for the own network.
So I know that was a bit of a rant, but just
keep that in mind when you start your own YouTube
journey. Remember that. the road to success is
not gonna be a straight path or a straight line.
It's gonna take time and it's gonna take some
persistence and it's gonna take a lot of courage
because you know how people can be in the public
sphere, in the public space. You know, you may
get, I haven't gotten a lot of negative comments.
I really haven't, but depending on your subject
matter, you can get some really interesting people.
thing about that is just to block them or ignore
them. A lot of those people, when they're coming
to a platform, someone else's platform or channel
to be purposely or intentionally negative, a
lot of them are just seeking attention and have
their own mental things going on. So it's just
the more you can ignore things and people like
that, the better off you will be. But definitely
that shouldn't be something that, you know, prevents
you or makes you hesitant to start your YouTube
journey. Okay, so Yeah, that's something that
I really want you guys to take a look at and
remember It's gonna take some time to get to
the monetization They have it set to where in
order to be invited into the YouTube Partnership
program you have to reach certain milestones
You have to have at least 1 ,000 subscribers
I know that sounds like a lot, but you can get
there really fast fast, meaning three, four,
five months, depending on how often you post.
And you have to attain 4 ,000 watch hours. Now,
I'll be honest with you that, particularly if
you lean more on shorts for your content, it
can take a while. It can be a bit of a challenge
to get to those 4 ,000 watch hours. But again,
that's where consistency is going to be very
important and just having a regular schedule
where you're posting. All right, so like I said,
it takes time, but trust me, if you stick with
it, the rewards will definitely be worth it.
Okay, listen, we're gonna stop here and take
a quick commercial break, but I don't want you
to go anywhere because when we come back, I'm
gonna dive into some more better late than never
content. Specifically, I'm gonna talk about how
to replace bad habits with healthier ones and
why this is one of the most crucial steps that
you can take for your own personal growth and
development. So stay tuned, we'll be right back.
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Deborah Ruffini Show on Artists First Radio Network.
We're live from England on Saturdays and Sundays,
3pm New York, 8pm London. All past shows or podcasts,
find them at artistsfirst .com. I'll be your
host where issues relating to the spiritual matters
of concern will be largely examined and discussed.
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You're back live with Dr. Andre Geary. Hey, everybody.
Welcome back. So if you're just joining us, we
covered some powerful topics so far. We're going
to dig into some more better, late than never
topics that I've been meaning to talk about for
a while. So let's go ahead and get into it. I
touched on this a little bit last week, but I
felt led to dig into this topic a little bit
more because I feel like it would be beneficial
for a lot of people. And this is part of the
show where if you have little ones who are listening
or close by, you may want to send them in the
other room because a little bit about what I'm
about to share is adult content and may not be
appropriate for children. In fact, I know it's
not appropriate, so just go ahead and usher your
babies out the way. Send them in another room.
I'll wait. All right, so this is gonna be classic
oversharing from Dr. Andre Jerry, but y 'all
know how I am on this show. And I can't even
blame it on alcohol because, you know, I don't
drink during the week anymore, only on the weekends.
But I don't mind sharing a little bit of my business
so long as it's gonna help others. and so long
that it takes away at least some of the guilt
and shame that a lot of people carry with themselves
about certain topics. Okay, so on last week's
show, I touched briefly on breaking bad habits.
So trust me, I know how difficult it can be to
break bad habits. I've had my share of bad habits
that I've had to overcome. Some I'm still working
to overcome. Back in the day, I used to be a
huge complainer. You know, the Bible calls that
murmuring. And it's just not a good thing, particularly
for someone like me, who really has never really
had anything to complain about when it all comes
down to it. I mean, I've gone through things
like everyone else. I know I've shared with you
guys about the bullying and some of the things
that I've gone through in my adolescence. But
for the most part, I've had a great life. There
was no need for me to complain or murmur about
anything. So it's very disrespectful to God,
particularly for someone who's been so blessed
in many areas. What are you complaining about?
So it took me years to overcome that. And of
course it took other people confronting me and
saying, Andre, you're always complaining, you
know, shut the hell up. And every now and then
it creeps back in, you know, when I'm having
a brat moment. But for the most part, I've been
able to weed that complaining habit out of my
life. And that came from having a lot of negative
mindset. I had a lot of negative thoughts. I've
shared with you guys, because of some of the
traumas I've experienced in my adolescence, I
was very angry. So I carried around a lot of
anger, and especially from the bullying. and
not standing up for myself. So I would literally
look for arguments and fight so I could redeem
myself for getting slapped that one time in front
of the school. So I went through a phase where
I was very angry and argumentative and complainy
and a big revenge seeker. If anyone effed with
me, I was gonna get them back. I'm not the person
you eff with. Just carrying around this just
huge ship. All through my 20s and a little bit
through my 30s as well. I had to work through
that stuff. I had to work through the heavy drinking.
That's something I'm actively working on. I'm
two months into my new routine where I only drink
on the weekends. And I'll share with you guys,
it was really difficult at first. I was mad at
the person who suggested it. I was mad at myself
for taking on the challenge. But I wanted to
prove to myself that One, I'm not an alcoholic,
you know. Two, I don't have this, what is it,
this addictive nature. Like, if I want to stop
doing something, I can do it. So that was another,
you know, the challenge aspect of it. And it's
gotten a lot easier. I remember this past weekend,
I don't think I even drank on Sunday. And you
know, when I first started this new regimen I
was over drinking on the weekends because I was
you know just going crazy Monday through Thursday
not being able to have a drink and so I would
down a bottle of wine and a you know bottle of
Tito's would last wouldn't last through Saturday
but I've noticed that over the weeks over the
past two months all that has kind of curtailed
So I'm not drinking throughout the week. That's
not an issue anymore. In the weekends, I'm not
doing all this binge drinking stuff. So I'm noticing
the change. And it's for the better. So some
things I'm still working on. But yeah, the heavy
drinking, definitely working to overcome that.
I touched on this last week, and this is the
one where I wanted you to send the babies out
of the room. I used to have a I'm not gonna say
a masturbation issue. I had a pornography issue.
And it wasn't something that was excessive, but
in my mid -20s, I just started to notice how
I felt after watching pornography. Once you had
that release or whatever and you get whatever
you're trying to get and get where you're trying
to go, I didn't like the feeling afterward. I
always felt... dirty, like I had done something
really wrong. And I didn't like the way it made
me feel. And so I made the decision on my own
without any intervention that pornography was
something that I did not want in my life. This
was back when I was 25, 26 years old. And this
is where we actually had DVDs. You know, I had
like maybe 10, 20 DVDs of pornography. I took
all of that stuff. I put it in a black bag, garbage
bag, and I was going to throw it away. I was
dating this guy at the time. And we were just
starting to get to know each other. And it didn't
dawn on me that he had an issue until down the
road. But he said, what is that? I was like,
my porn. I said, I'm throwing all this stuff
away. I don't want this stuff in my house anymore.
And at this point, we, you know, So he showed
on the weekends, but we weren't living together.
He was like, well, don't throw it away. He said,
let me take it out. I'll take it with me. I really
didn't think anything of it, you know? Because
anyone who knows me knows, once I get over something,
I'll just throw it away in a minute. I will throw
shit away. And so yeah, so he took it back to
Atlanta with him. I didn't think anything of
it. And he knew about my stance about pornography,
how I'm not trying to force it on anyone else,
but this is not something I want in my life."
So he knew that. Well, next thing I know, I visit
him in Atlanta, and we're, you know, having an
intimate moment, and he puts on a porn. And,
like, this is just normal. He just puts on a
porn and thinking it's gonna, you know... we're
in the moment and all this stuff and it's gonna
be sexy and fun. I was offended instantly. And
back then I wasn't as delicate with my words
as I am now. I was pissed. I was like, what are
you doing? You know I don't like this stuff.
Why would you put this on right now? Like, what
are you doing? And I was just so offended and
mad about it. And even at that point I didn't
understand or realize that he had an addiction
to pornography. Looking back on it, he wasn't
trying to be any type of way or whatever. He
just was doing what he normally does, and he
didn't really think anything. There was no malice
behind it. But I drugged that shit out for so
long, I was like, I just can't believe you did
that. Don't watch this stuff around me. Don't
watch it in my presence. You can watch it all
day long, 24 hours a day. When I'm around, do
not have this shit around me. I don't want to
see it. And so it just, from the onset of that
relationship, which lasted, I don't know how
it lasted 13 years. I don't know how it lasted
because this was early in our first year and
this was a huge hurdle to overcome. He just pissed
me off. And so we finally got over that, but
a lot of angst and issues in our relationship
was because he was constantly fighting this pornography
addiction. And because it was something that
he was dealing with, I fell back into it. You
can't be in a relationship with somebody who
had a pornography addiction and not be impacted
by it. So I just, he normalized it for me, pornography.
It became normalized again. It was like, Andre,
it's not that big of a deal. You're not killing
anybody. It's just harmless. This is something
you do in the privacy of your own home. So it
became this normalized thing, and it just, it
got back into my life. But I was always resentful
toward him for that. And that infected a large
part of our relationship, because I still, to
this day, I can't stand pornography. But I had
to, even once we, you know, broke off our relationship
and broke up, I still had that, I was left with
that pornography addiction that I was been trying
to get rid of since I was 25 years old. So I
just had a lot of residual anger from that. And
it just took me so long to finally get over that.
And I bring that up not just to be graphic or
crap. When you have strongly entrenched habits
like that, that you really want to break in earnest,
it can be done. in your own strength, but you
really have to lean on God for some things. And
if you're not a big God person or whatever, I'm
not judging you, it's gonna be hard to do on
your own. Get a support group or a friend that
is supportive that you can talk about about,
oh, man, I almost watched porn today. You know?
And it's just someone who you can, don't try
to go through it on your own. That's something
that because of the shame and the guilt I had
from watching pornography It let's be honest.
It was gay porn. So it was like a double whammy
So it's not something you jumped up and down
about talking, you know, just the other people
about it was shame You know So that kept me in
the dark and hiding it and trying to deal with
it on my own for years and years and making it
to two weeks and making it two months and then
falling off the wagon and feel like you're starting
all over and how you feel like you're never going
to break it and you're just hopeless. Until I
just gave that stuff to Jehovah. I just gave
it to God. I was like, look, Lord, you know I
don't want to watch this stuff. I know you don't
like me watching it. Help me get this out of
my life. If bad enough, I'm already doing XYZ
Lifestyle, which I had my own issues with. That's
a whole other episode. But I didn't want to indulge
in pornography. It just did not make me feel
good. And so once I start to invite Jehovah into
my business and in my new goals I was trying
to establish, it got easier. It became less than
possible. And then something that helped me as
well is I learned the psychology behind forming
new habits. And this is what I touched on last
week. When you're trying to break a bad habit,
Don't focus so much on that bad habit and, oh,
I've got to break this, I've got to break this.
Replace it with a better habit that's non -destructive.
For me, every time I got the urge to watch pornography,
I picked up my Bible because it was a thing to
where I was doing it in the morning. It was like
part of my routine and that came from that relationship
I was in. taking up other people's habits. But
I was like, I'll be damned if I masturbate to
some pornography before I pick up my Bible or
pray or praise God and thank him for another
day. I'm just not going to do it. So if I have
to feel like I do have to watch pornography,
I'm going to make sure I pick up my Bible first
and at least read a scripture. So I would replace
that urge with another urge, which was reading
the Bible. Before I knew I was reading the Bible
all the time, reading it all throughout the day.
And it helped me overcome that. And so I wish
I would have knew that years before because I
could have applied that principle of replacing
a bad habit with a good habit. And it just would
have made my road a lot easier. So that's why
I bring this up in this conversation this evening.
I don't want to be crass. I don't want to run
the babies out the room. But that subject matter
was not appropriate. But I used it to illustrate
a point that if you have a bad habit, replace
it with something good, and you'll have a lot
more success with that. And for anyone out there
that is struggling with pornography and want
to stop, now you know you're not the only one.
I know when you're doing it feels like this guilty,
shameful thing that no one else is doing. A lot
of people suffer with that. I have a good friend.
I won't call his name. It ended his marriage
pornography. And so he used that as fuel to break
his addiction. He said, I lost my family. I lost
my marriage because of this. So he's staunchly
against pornography. hide a motivation behind
it. So I hope that's helpful to you in helping
you to overcome something or to break a bad habit
in your life. OK? Rely on God if you're a God
person. I hope you're a God person. Seek support
groups and replace bad habits with a better habit.
OK? All right, so how are we looking on time?
6 .47. Let's move on to the next thing. There
was something else I wanted to bring up in this
episode. One of them was, I get asked this question
a lot about, because since I've been in Puerto
Rico, since I've retired, I've written three
books. Really more than that, but I don't really
count micro books that are less than 30 and 20
pages. But a lot of people have asked about my
approach to writing books. And I think that should
be an entirely different episode. That's going
to take more than a segment to explain to you.
But if you're someone that is working on a book,
you have a book idea, you have a concept, you
have a manuscript, and you're just kind of stuck.
My company, Just Be Cards, is the company that
houses all of my media, all of my publishing,
all of my books. And I have services where I
help consult aspiring authors or First -time
authors who are that first book in that first
book out there is hard it's exciting But there's
so many different little details and things like
that it can become overwhelming especially if
you You're just a writer. Are you you know? You
you you don't know the mechanics behind all the
stuff that you need to do with the marketing
and all that type of stuff My company excels
and all that I've published numerous books for
myself. I've published for other people I handle
everything from the As much as you need, if you
need your hand held all the way through the process,
I can help you with that. If you just need help
with the copy editing or the marketing piece,
I got you with that too. So reach out to me if
you have a book, you have a concept, you have
a manuscript, and you just need to get through
the finish line. I can help you with that stuff.
There's no need to kind of suffer through that
on your own. So that would be another episode
in the near future, okay? But in keeping with
the theme of today's show, Better Late Than Never,
I want to talk about renewing or applying for
your password. Not password. See, I haven't even
been drinking. Renew or applying for your passport,
okay? I know some of you are like, passport,
what are you talking about? There's a lot of
people who have expired passports, they are about
to expire, or they don't have a passport at all.
Listen, this is not the time. You see who we
have as our president. I try not to even talk
about that man, but you see what's happening.
This is not the time to not have access to a
passport so you can get out of the country, okay,
if you need to leave for a couple of weeks or
a couple of days. It's just something you need
to have. It's only $75. You go to your local
post office or there are services that do the
whole thing for you. But the bottom line is that
you and everyone in your past, your household
rather, needs to have an updated current passport,
okay? Because with everything going on with the
government and laying off people left and right,
I don't know how long, it took a long time anyway.
Even the expedited passports took a while to
get back. So I have no idea what their process
is now. I just, I don't want there to be some
type of crazy thing go on to where Passports
are not available, or there's a moratorium on
passports. It's just something weird. And you're
left with a passport that's expiring, or you
don't have a passport at all. So that's my PSA
to you guys. There's a lot of global instability.
You see, I got the hill on. The states just has
a lot going on. I'd rather be in Puerto Rico
dealing with hurricane season than going through
what's happening in the states and all the toxicity
there. I know that's not for everybody, but for
me and my household, I had to get the hell out.
So I really want you to think about getting your
passport. Look into what the federal processing
is. The last time I checked the turnaround was
as little as six weeks all the way through 12
weeks to process if you just choose the normal
route and not go to expedited. Expedited route.
Okay, and I do urge you to pay the little extra
money to do the expedited But you just want to
be prepared for things that could happen or unexpected
travel Opportunities, you never know. You may
have a generous friend or family member that
says hey I'm going to Jamaica and I bought a
ticket for this person But they told me at the
last minute they can't go. Do you want to go?
Oh Girl, I would love to but I don't have a passport
or my passport expired last year. Be ready for
opportunities like that. I'm speaking it into
existence. Someone is going to invite you somewhere.
You need your passport, okay? And again, it's
just about liberation and freedom and just exposure.
You know, if you have the resources, if you have
the connections, go explore. Even if it's just
the Canada, go take a drive up to Canada. See
something different. If they let you in, Canada
is not really filling us right now from the little
bit of glimpses I've been catching on the news.
Stop watching the news too. Read my book, Unlocking
Your Best Life. It's on Amazon. Stop watching
the news. It's just programming you to worry.
It's programming you to have fear. I'm not going
to get into it. It's a whole other episode. The
thing for this show is better late than never,
get your passport if you already don't have it.
And if it's expiring, then make sure you get
it renewed ASAP, okay? Because no one knows what's
going on in this crazy environment that we're
in right now, okay? So that's gonna, listen,
that's gonna wrap up today's episode of Live
with Dr. Andre Jerry. I wanna thank you so much
for spending an hour of your time with me. I
don't take that for granted. I hope I gave you
some things to think about. I hope I made you
smile and laugh a little bit. Don't miss next
week's episode. It's going to air Wednesday,
July 30th at 6 p .m. Eastern. We're going to
dive into some more exciting topics that's going
to help you make even more progress in your journey
toward unlocking your best life, okay? So until
then, keep pushing forward. And remember, it's
never too late to start something new, something
different. All right. Love you guys. I'll see
you next week. Take care. you