WEBVTT 00:00:01.469 --> 00:00:26.170 Dr. Jerry you got the whole world Welcome to 00:00:26.170 --> 00:00:29.329 Live with Dr. Andre Jerry, your prime time destination 00:00:29.329 --> 00:00:32.770 for bold conversations, unfiltered truth, and 00:00:32.770 --> 00:00:35.570 real life inspiration. I'm your host, Dr. Andre 00:00:35.570 --> 00:00:38.369 Jerry, broadcasting live from San Juan, Puerto 00:00:38.369 --> 00:00:41.270 Rico. I've been here, or I've been back for a 00:00:41.270 --> 00:00:44.189 few months now, and finally getting back into 00:00:44.189 --> 00:00:46.670 the groove of things. So it's great to be back 00:00:46.670 --> 00:00:50.270 in my second home. Anyway, tonight we're diving 00:00:50.270 --> 00:00:54.229 into part four of our series called Random Rants 00:00:54.229 --> 00:00:57.250 and Real Talk. These are episodes where I let 00:00:57.250 --> 00:01:00.810 loose a little bit, speak more freely, and share 00:01:00.810 --> 00:01:03.030 a little bit about what's been heavy on my spirit 00:01:03.030 --> 00:01:05.290 or just whatever is trending in these streets, 00:01:05.409 --> 00:01:09.489 okay? So let's go ahead and get into it. All 00:01:09.489 --> 00:01:12.810 right, so what do we have? Juneteenth is tomorrow. 00:01:14.310 --> 00:01:18.670 Does anybody care? Now we know the current administration 00:01:18.670 --> 00:01:21.390 doesn't give a damn about Juneteenth, Black History 00:01:21.390 --> 00:01:26.310 Month, Hispanic Heritage Month, LBTGQ, Pride, 00:01:26.469 --> 00:01:29.489 any of that. Any other marginalized group with 00:01:29.489 --> 00:01:32.629 a nationally recognized observance. And I could 00:01:32.629 --> 00:01:37.349 be wrong about that, but I probably am not. I 00:01:37.349 --> 00:01:40.010 remember earlier this year, before I retired, 00:01:40.890 --> 00:01:43.849 how the current administration were just really 00:01:43.849 --> 00:01:46.489 coming out of the gate swinging at diversity 00:01:46.489 --> 00:01:51.150 equity and inclusion or DEI And it just didn't 00:01:51.150 --> 00:01:54.430 stop there. They came for almost anything that 00:01:54.430 --> 00:01:58.890 might have made The plane feel a little bit more 00:01:58.890 --> 00:02:02.650 even and less lopsided So it was basically like 00:02:02.650 --> 00:02:04.890 they were saying okay y 'all had y 'all moment 00:02:04.890 --> 00:02:08.849 now go sit down go sit down You know, so I think 00:02:08.849 --> 00:02:12.310 it's safe to say that they've made their priorities 00:02:12.310 --> 00:02:17.009 loud and clear. But let's just put the current 00:02:17.009 --> 00:02:22.210 administration aside for a minute, okay? Do we 00:02:22.210 --> 00:02:26.889 care about Juneteenth? And I'm talking about 00:02:26.889 --> 00:02:31.250 we the people, black folks in particular, because 00:02:31.250 --> 00:02:34.370 I'm black, if you haven't noticed, and I'm not 00:02:34.370 --> 00:02:37.930 even sure I care about Juneteenth, like perhaps 00:02:37.930 --> 00:02:41.599 I should. And that's not entirely on me because 00:02:41.599 --> 00:02:45.259 I'll put it this way. Okay, so I wasn't the most 00:02:45.259 --> 00:02:47.900 attentive student back when I was in school. 00:02:48.039 --> 00:02:50.780 Mostly because I was just trying to survive and 00:02:50.780 --> 00:02:53.759 keep from getting bullied. But I don't remember 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:59.699 learning anything at all about Juneteenth or 00:02:59.699 --> 00:03:02.099 anything about Juneteenth really when I was in 00:03:02.099 --> 00:03:05.180 school. I don't think any of my contemporaries 00:03:05.180 --> 00:03:08.659 have either. Have any of you guys heard of Juneteenth? 00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:12.400 back when you were in school. And this was at 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:14.139 least back in the day when they were at least 00:03:14.139 --> 00:03:17.340 trying to teach some form of black history in 00:03:17.340 --> 00:03:19.340 the school. These kids today, they don't even 00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:21.719 know regular history, I don't think, let alone 00:03:21.719 --> 00:03:27.180 black history. Half of them don't even know who 00:03:27.180 --> 00:03:29.360 Rosa Parks is, and they certainly don't know 00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:32.819 about Claudette Colvin. So Claudette Colvin, 00:03:32.919 --> 00:03:36.000 just really quickly. She was just 15 years old 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:38.939 when she refused to give up her bus seat to a 00:03:38.939 --> 00:03:41.439 white passenger in Montgomery, Alabama. This 00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:44.539 was about nine months before the incident with 00:03:44.539 --> 00:03:50.419 Rosa Parks. So Claudette Colvin was the true 00:03:50.419 --> 00:03:54.599 unsung hero of the civil rights movement, and 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:57.419 her bravery that she showed that day helped to 00:03:57.419 --> 00:04:00.919 lay the groundwork for the Montgomery bus boycott. 00:04:01.930 --> 00:04:04.590 So sadly, she didn't really get her due kind 00:04:04.590 --> 00:04:08.270 of, you know, Rosa Parks just seemed to just 00:04:08.270 --> 00:04:11.069 take it and run with it. But there was an incident 00:04:11.069 --> 00:04:14.069 that predated Rosa and her name was Claudette 00:04:14.069 --> 00:04:15.909 Colvin. So just in case you didn't know that 00:04:15.909 --> 00:04:18.269 little bit of history. But anyway, back to my 00:04:18.269 --> 00:04:20.329 point about Juneteenth, when President Biden 00:04:20.329 --> 00:04:22.189 declared that this was going to be a federal 00:04:22.189 --> 00:04:28.029 holiday, it was in June of 2021. I was happy 00:04:28.029 --> 00:04:32.009 to have another day off. You know, um, but did 00:04:32.009 --> 00:04:35.750 I really understand the meaning behind what Juneteenth 00:04:35.750 --> 00:04:38.389 was at the time? No, I didn't. I'll be honest 00:04:38.389 --> 00:04:41.990 about it. But I'm a fairly inquisitive person, 00:04:41.990 --> 00:04:44.670 and I don't like walking around ignorant about 00:04:44.670 --> 00:04:47.569 things. So, of course, I did my research just 00:04:47.569 --> 00:04:50.670 to find out what Juneteenth was about. But yeah, 00:04:50.689 --> 00:04:53.610 honestly, prior to that, I had never heard of 00:04:53.610 --> 00:04:56.670 Juneteenth in my life. And I know I'm not alone 00:04:56.670 --> 00:05:00.899 about that, so... I don't feel too bad, but I'll 00:05:00.899 --> 00:05:04.220 tell you what I do feel a little guilty about 00:05:04.220 --> 00:05:08.920 and that's I don't really care that tomorrow 00:05:08.920 --> 00:05:12.300 is Juneteenth. Like I'm not fired up about it. 00:05:12.300 --> 00:05:16.519 I'm not excited necessarily. I'm just not anything. 00:05:16.600 --> 00:05:20.339 I'm just sort of indifferent towards it. And 00:05:20.339 --> 00:05:23.699 I venture to say that the average black person 00:05:23.699 --> 00:05:27.139 feels the same way that I do about it. And I'm 00:05:27.139 --> 00:05:29.519 not saying that we don't care about it in the 00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:32.680 same sense that I guess a non -black person may 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:35.759 not care. I'm just saying that I feel like a 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:40.240 lot of black folks feel disconnected from Juneteenth, 00:05:40.459 --> 00:05:42.680 whether that's due to a lack of awareness or 00:05:42.680 --> 00:05:46.779 a lack of understanding or just not being taught 00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:51.339 about it growing up. I don't know. But I guess 00:05:51.339 --> 00:05:53.060 what I'm saying is that I don't know anyone who's 00:05:53.060 --> 00:05:57.319 throwing a barbecue tomorrow. or marching or, 00:05:57.319 --> 00:06:01.279 you know, any parades that's going on. A few 00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:03.620 of us may watch a documentary or something, you 00:06:03.620 --> 00:06:07.720 know, tonight or tomorrow, but as far as what 00:06:07.720 --> 00:06:11.360 I've been seeing, nobody really cares, myself 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:13.459 included. And, you know, I'll be honest, that 00:06:13.459 --> 00:06:16.480 kind of makes me feel messed up. You know, I 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:20.300 feel kind of like a bad black person. It's such 00:06:20.300 --> 00:06:23.540 a thing. You know, I'm being serious because... 00:06:23.550 --> 00:06:25.930 It's not anything I'm losing sleep over or anything 00:06:25.930 --> 00:06:28.069 like that, but if I'm being honest, it was a 00:06:28.069 --> 00:06:31.649 part of me that's like, Andre, you really don't 00:06:31.649 --> 00:06:34.350 have anything planned for Juneteenth. Not even 00:06:34.350 --> 00:06:37.910 a hot dog, you know? So I'm not gonna throw a 00:06:37.910 --> 00:06:40.670 barbecue, I'm not marching, I'm not going to 00:06:40.670 --> 00:06:43.910 a parade or anything like that. But so that I 00:06:43.910 --> 00:06:46.490 can at least sleep a little easier tonight and 00:06:46.490 --> 00:06:50.689 feel like I did something, I'm gonna break down 00:06:50.689 --> 00:06:54.019 really quick what Juneteenth is. and why it's 00:06:54.019 --> 00:06:56.160 important. And this is just for anyone who doesn't 00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:58.519 know. It's a lot of people who still don't know, 00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:01.379 or just for someone who may need a refresher, 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:07.899 okay? So in plain terms, Juneteenth marks the 00:07:07.899 --> 00:07:14.319 day, which was June 19th in 1865, when enslaved 00:07:14.319 --> 00:07:17.120 black people in Galveston, Texas were finally 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:21.079 told that they were free. And mind you, this 00:07:21.079 --> 00:07:25.459 was about two and a half years after the Emancipation 00:07:25.459 --> 00:07:28.240 Proclamation that had already been signed into 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:33.639 law by Abraham Lincoln. So it took almost three 00:07:33.639 --> 00:07:37.480 years before black people in Texas were notified 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:42.180 that slavery had been outlawed. So even though 00:07:42.180 --> 00:07:45.079 slavery was illegal, Texas, I guess they didn't 00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:47.319 get the memo and they were still doing business 00:07:47.319 --> 00:07:49.779 as usual. And we know what that was all about. 00:07:50.379 --> 00:07:53.579 But it took Abraham Lincoln sending Union troops 00:07:53.579 --> 00:07:58.899 to physically ride into Galveston to formally 00:07:58.899 --> 00:08:03.120 announce the end of slavery. Okay. Again, this 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:08.079 took place on June 19, 1865, which was two and 00:08:08.079 --> 00:08:10.500 a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation 00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:13.699 was signed into law. So that's what Juneteenth 00:08:13.699 --> 00:08:18.439 is. It's not the day slavery ended in America. 00:08:19.259 --> 00:08:22.939 It's the day that the last known group of enslaved 00:08:22.939 --> 00:08:26.040 black people in the South finally got word about 00:08:26.040 --> 00:08:30.680 it that slavery had ended. So in a way, Juneteenth 00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:34.720 is less about celebrating freedom and more about 00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:39.399 recognizing the delay in those freedoms, the 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:44.200 delay in justice, the delay in dignity. and the 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:49.779 delay in humanity. So that's what makes Juneteenth 00:08:49.779 --> 00:08:53.059 relevant. Because if we're real about it, even 00:08:53.059 --> 00:08:56.080 now in 2025, so many of us are still waiting 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:59.539 for some version of freedom, whether it's financial 00:08:59.539 --> 00:09:04.820 freedom, mental freedom, freedom from broken 00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:08.419 systems in this, I'm trying to be nice, this 00:09:08.419 --> 00:09:10.860 small -minded leadership that we currently have. 00:09:12.919 --> 00:09:15.799 So, you know, black folks, I know we're largely 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:17.940 collectively not going to do anything, but if 00:09:17.940 --> 00:09:20.279 we're going to barbecue or have a cookout or 00:09:20.279 --> 00:09:23.440 something like that, it really should be tomorrow, 00:09:24.299 --> 00:09:26.740 not 4th of July, which is what we're all used 00:09:26.740 --> 00:09:30.899 to, because that's not really our Independence 00:09:30.899 --> 00:09:34.860 Day, if you know what I mean. So look, even if 00:09:34.860 --> 00:09:39.340 you're not going to throw a cookout or have red 00:09:39.340 --> 00:09:42.809 velvet cupcakes, which apparently is a Juneteenth 00:09:42.809 --> 00:09:46.070 tradition. I saw that online today. If you're 00:09:46.070 --> 00:09:47.730 not going to do any of that, just take a moment 00:09:47.730 --> 00:09:51.549 then to reflect not just on what happened, but 00:09:51.549 --> 00:09:56.149 on what's still happening. And if you do decide 00:09:56.149 --> 00:09:57.769 to fire up the grill tomorrow, just know it's 00:09:57.769 --> 00:10:00.110 not about the ribs and the food and all of that. 00:10:00.389 --> 00:10:03.950 It's about the reminder, the reminder that freedom 00:10:03.950 --> 00:10:09.129 has always come late for us. But you know, we 00:10:09.129 --> 00:10:13.539 still claim it. Anyway, right All right. So let's 00:10:13.539 --> 00:10:15.919 move on next topic. I'm gonna give you guys an 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:20.700 update on my new Drinking habit. Okay, and Z 00:10:20.700 --> 00:10:22.259 and I talked about this a little bit before the 00:10:22.259 --> 00:10:26.799 show started but so in part three of this rants 00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:29.779 and real talk series I share with you guys that 00:10:29.779 --> 00:10:34.320 I'm now a weekend drinker and I'm kind of liking 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:37.179 it, you know, like I was telling Z the first 00:10:37.179 --> 00:10:41.639 couple of weeks were tough I'll admit that I 00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:44.500 think I even tried to sneak up a few drinks in 00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:48.360 on a Thursday a time or two but seriously I have 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:52.139 noticed the change in my behavior my productivity 00:10:52.139 --> 00:10:57.039 and my overall health now I know that sounds 00:10:57.039 --> 00:10:59.960 kind of like I was a total alcoholic but you 00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:03.860 know I can admit that at the very least I was 00:11:03.860 --> 00:11:06.960 a heavy drinker that's if I'm being delicate 00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:13.340 about it but Probably more accurately, I would 00:11:13.340 --> 00:11:16.340 say I was and have been a functioning alcoholic 00:11:16.340 --> 00:11:21.580 for most of my adult life. And I have absolutely 00:11:21.580 --> 00:11:24.539 no shame about admitting that. I don't because 00:11:24.539 --> 00:11:28.720 number one, me admitting that live on air just 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:33.620 now, it makes it easier for someone else who's 00:11:33.620 --> 00:11:36.200 struggling to admit that they also have a problem. 00:11:37.289 --> 00:11:40.850 And two, if you can't admit the truth about yourself 00:11:40.850 --> 00:11:43.889 and you can't admit the truth to yourself, then 00:11:43.889 --> 00:11:49.750 you really do have a problem. And three, you're 00:11:49.750 --> 00:11:52.830 more than likely a heavy drinker yourself. Because 00:11:52.830 --> 00:11:57.529 if you recall in the last episode, the episode 00:11:57.529 --> 00:12:00.129 before last, I reported that according to the 00:12:00.129 --> 00:12:03.529 National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 00:12:05.129 --> 00:12:09.029 If you're drinking more than four drinks on any 00:12:09.029 --> 00:12:13.730 day, or more than 14 drinks in a week, for men 00:12:13.730 --> 00:12:17.129 that is, then you're a heavy drinker slash alcoholic. 00:12:17.629 --> 00:12:19.570 And for women, if you drink more than three drinks 00:12:19.570 --> 00:12:23.169 in one day, or more than seven drinks in a week, 00:12:23.309 --> 00:12:25.370 then you're also an alcoholic. And remember, 00:12:25.990 --> 00:12:31.049 one drink is a 12 ounce can of beer, five ounce 00:12:31.049 --> 00:12:37.629 glass of wine, or shot of liquor so you see what 00:12:37.629 --> 00:12:39.549 I'm saying that put me in the company with a 00:12:39.549 --> 00:12:43.809 lot of other people and I remember at the time 00:12:43.809 --> 00:12:46.450 when I reported that statistic that I just gave 00:12:46.450 --> 00:12:49.330 you I remember being a little bit pissed about 00:12:49.330 --> 00:12:53.669 it because my whole thing was okay four drinks 00:12:53.669 --> 00:12:56.269 in one day that that sounds like a good time 00:12:56.269 --> 00:13:00.470 to me you know and five or six drinks even better 00:13:00.470 --> 00:13:04.009 but I can't say that you know even with Just 00:13:04.009 --> 00:13:07.009 a month into this new drinking habit that I have, 00:13:07.009 --> 00:13:13.330 I can look back and see where... I can see where 00:13:13.330 --> 00:13:16.370 they're coming from to a certain extent. Four 00:13:16.370 --> 00:13:20.149 plus drinks in a day, unless you're on like vacation 00:13:20.149 --> 00:13:22.730 or you're on a cruise or you got something else 00:13:22.730 --> 00:13:27.289 unique happening, four or more drinks in a day 00:13:27.289 --> 00:13:31.009 is a bit much. I can say that now. I can be honest 00:13:31.009 --> 00:13:35.149 about that, you know? And I'm not saying I still 00:13:35.149 --> 00:13:37.909 don't have some work to do, right? Because even 00:13:37.909 --> 00:13:40.330 though I've been, you know, I've switched to 00:13:40.330 --> 00:13:43.490 just drinking on the weekends, I've noticed that 00:13:43.490 --> 00:13:49.210 I still consume a fairly good amount of alcohol, 00:13:49.990 --> 00:13:53.649 right? So the first couple of weeks, it was like 00:13:53.649 --> 00:13:56.070 I was just so glad it was Friday. I was so glad 00:13:56.070 --> 00:13:58.570 I made it to Friday. So, you know, I found where 00:13:58.570 --> 00:14:00.590 I was on my second bottle of wine before the 00:14:00.590 --> 00:14:04.149 sun was even down. on a Friday. You know, so 00:14:04.149 --> 00:14:08.350 this is how I planned it out. So I usually get 00:14:08.350 --> 00:14:10.750 sometime during the week three bottles of wine. 00:14:11.049 --> 00:14:13.830 I'm talking about for my new regimen I have now. 00:14:14.389 --> 00:14:18.009 And one bottle is supposed to be for Friday and 00:14:18.009 --> 00:14:20.889 the other two for Saturday and Sunday. Well, 00:14:21.830 --> 00:14:25.149 I was already on the second bottle before Saturday 00:14:25.149 --> 00:14:27.980 hit. And I think that was just because I was 00:14:27.980 --> 00:14:30.580 looking so forward to the weekend and being able 00:14:30.580 --> 00:14:33.240 to let loose and have a couple of drinks. And 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:35.779 so I would find myself running out of all three 00:14:35.779 --> 00:14:39.399 bottles before it got Sunday. So we ended up 00:14:39.399 --> 00:14:41.500 going back to the package store and getting like 00:14:41.500 --> 00:14:44.200 a bottle of liquor or something, just to finish 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:47.139 out the rest of the weekend. So still consuming 00:14:47.139 --> 00:14:50.320 a good amount of alcohol, but at least it wasn't 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:52.779 on a daily basis. At least it was being condensed 00:14:52.779 --> 00:14:58.259 to the week. You know? But even with that, it's 00:14:58.259 --> 00:15:03.840 sort of a good thing because now by around eight 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:06.779 or nine o 'clock at night on a Sunday, I'm just, 00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:09.840 I'm sick of alcohol. I don't want to drink anymore 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:13.700 by that time. In fact, this past Monday, I'll 00:15:13.700 --> 00:15:15.340 tell you what I did. I did something I rarely 00:15:15.340 --> 00:15:20.840 do. And that's, I took some leftover vodka and 00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:23.879 I poured it down the drain. That's how sick. 00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:27.320 alcohol I was at the end of this past weekend 00:15:27.320 --> 00:15:31.759 I Remember and this was a couple of weeks back. 00:15:31.820 --> 00:15:33.940 This is around the time when I first started 00:15:33.940 --> 00:15:40.279 my weekends only rule I Had I snuck in a couple 00:15:40.279 --> 00:15:42.679 of drinks on like a it was like a Tuesday or 00:15:42.679 --> 00:15:47.600 something. I don't know and my Let's just say 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:52.000 my accountability partner my accountability partner 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:58.440 was furious that I was sneaking sips in, and 00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:03.340 he poured an entire bottle of Bombay Sapphire 00:16:03.340 --> 00:16:09.700 Gin down the kitchen sink drain. I was so effing 00:16:09.700 --> 00:16:13.120 mad, but I had to keep cool about it. I just 00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:15.179 kept it inside so I wouldn't come across like 00:16:15.179 --> 00:16:19.259 a belligerent drunk, but I was so mad. I was 00:16:19.259 --> 00:16:23.570 like... You son of a bitch that bottle cost $40 00:16:23.570 --> 00:16:28.149 and I even pay for it but still it was just more 00:16:28.149 --> 00:16:32.190 so the fact it was a brand new bottle of Good 00:16:32.190 --> 00:16:35.929 liquor that was supposed to be for the next weekend 00:16:35.929 --> 00:16:39.190 and It's not like I was gonna be sneaking drinks 00:16:39.190 --> 00:16:42.450 all week I just you know, it was I was new to 00:16:42.450 --> 00:16:44.649 that regimen where I'm only drinking on the weekend 00:16:44.649 --> 00:16:46.909 I was just starting out and so I just I just 00:16:46.909 --> 00:16:49.370 had a little weak moment and just needed a couple 00:16:49.370 --> 00:16:53.350 of sips But uh, I didn't get I was upset but 00:16:53.350 --> 00:16:55.830 I didn't I just kept it inside I was like Andre 00:16:55.830 --> 00:16:59.649 just stay calm Don't cut him out. He's just trying 00:16:59.649 --> 00:17:04.410 to help you Right. Oh my god, but the old me 00:17:04.410 --> 00:17:08.230 The old me would have showed completely out. 00:17:08.690 --> 00:17:10.990 I mean to the point where it could have possibly 00:17:10.990 --> 00:17:15.789 fractured the friendship and I'm just so glad 00:17:15.789 --> 00:17:19.349 I don't act like that anymore. And this is why 00:17:19.870 --> 00:17:23.490 This is why therapy is important because the 00:17:23.490 --> 00:17:27.789 unhealed version of myself had a lot of unresolved 00:17:27.789 --> 00:17:29.990 anger. Remember we talked about that a couple 00:17:29.990 --> 00:17:33.130 of episodes back? Had a lot of unresolved anger. 00:17:33.849 --> 00:17:36.150 And if it weren't for my therapy, that one little 00:17:36.150 --> 00:17:39.930 episode of him pouring out that liquor and confronting 00:17:39.930 --> 00:17:42.630 me and challenging me like that, it would have 00:17:42.630 --> 00:17:46.289 triggered me. Because, you know, of the bullying 00:17:46.289 --> 00:17:48.950 and not standing up for myself and You know how 00:17:48.950 --> 00:17:51.009 I said I would never allow something like that 00:17:51.009 --> 00:17:53.509 again? It would have triggered me. I would have 00:17:53.509 --> 00:17:56.910 went completely berserk over something relatively 00:17:56.910 --> 00:17:59.990 petty, just, you know, as a trauma response. 00:18:00.369 --> 00:18:02.430 And I would have said or did some things that 00:18:02.430 --> 00:18:05.990 would have just been completely unnecessary and 00:18:05.990 --> 00:18:08.150 could have permanently fractured the friendship 00:18:08.150 --> 00:18:10.710 when all the person is trying to do is help me. 00:18:10.869 --> 00:18:13.990 You see how that works? You see why I say therapy 00:18:13.990 --> 00:18:17.680 is important? You know, and so I know all of 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:21.980 that probably sounds like really bad and like 00:18:21.980 --> 00:18:24.259 I have a serious drinking problem, but I promise 00:18:24.259 --> 00:18:27.660 you, it's nothing like that. Like I mentioned 00:18:27.660 --> 00:18:31.400 in the other episode, drinking was more, for 00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:34.940 me, it was more of like a habit than it was an 00:18:34.940 --> 00:18:39.680 addiction, you know? I've been drinking since 00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:44.660 I was 16 years old. It started as a coping mechanism. 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:48.099 You know, something to help me be more social 00:18:48.099 --> 00:18:51.420 and to show more of my personality so I'm not 00:18:51.420 --> 00:18:57.240 so introverted and shy like I can be. And the 00:18:57.240 --> 00:18:59.180 same thing for, you know, when I got a little 00:18:59.180 --> 00:19:01.140 older and I started going to parties with my 00:19:01.140 --> 00:19:06.099 friends or out to the clubs. I am an introvert. 00:19:06.140 --> 00:19:08.579 I keep trying to tell people this. I am a true 00:19:08.579 --> 00:19:14.390 introvert. So... There has never been an instance 00:19:14.390 --> 00:19:19.069 where I felt comfortable at a party or at a club. 00:19:20.470 --> 00:19:24.390 I've always had to rely on alcohol to sort of 00:19:24.390 --> 00:19:27.710 loosen me up enough to where, you know, I can 00:19:27.710 --> 00:19:31.450 be social and have a good time. And even with 00:19:31.450 --> 00:19:34.009 family events, it's the same thing. Just because 00:19:34.009 --> 00:19:36.930 it's my family and people who know me and, you 00:19:36.930 --> 00:19:38.529 know, people I'm comfortable around, it doesn't 00:19:38.529 --> 00:19:42.460 make it any easier for me. You know left to my 00:19:42.460 --> 00:19:47.299 own devices without a crutch I would much rather 00:19:47.299 --> 00:19:52.299 find a quiet space in the room or a corner somewhere 00:19:52.299 --> 00:19:54.980 and just Play with my phone or just you know 00:19:54.980 --> 00:19:59.880 watch everybody else have a good time but after 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:03.880 so many years of becoming known as the life of 00:20:03.880 --> 00:20:08.160 the party and You know all of this there becomes 00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:15.000 this pressure to keep up that facade, right? 00:20:15.140 --> 00:20:18.119 So when you see me at a party or a club, or even 00:20:18.119 --> 00:20:20.420 on social media dancing, you know, I've posted 00:20:20.420 --> 00:20:23.440 a video, a lot of you may have seen me dancing 00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:26.980 at a casino. Anytime you see me carrying on like 00:20:26.980 --> 00:20:30.880 that, that's more of the alcohol than me, you 00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:33.220 know? I guess that's why they call them spirits, 00:20:33.240 --> 00:20:36.420 because for me, it truly turns me into someone 00:20:36.420 --> 00:20:41.059 I'm not. But not in a bad way, not in a bad way. 00:20:42.380 --> 00:20:45.259 And I know for some people, when they drink, 00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:49.220 they may become belligerent or angry, even violent 00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:52.140 in some cases. Or there are instances where a 00:20:52.140 --> 00:20:56.799 person may exhibit behaviors that are destructive 00:20:56.799 --> 00:21:00.339 to themselves or to other people. But it's never 00:21:00.339 --> 00:21:04.799 been like that for me. I'm a happy drinker. I 00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:09.670 sing, I dance, I joke. laugh I have an obnoxious 00:21:09.670 --> 00:21:12.710 or infectious it depends on who you're talking 00:21:12.710 --> 00:21:15.710 to but I have a very loud obnoxious laugh and 00:21:15.710 --> 00:21:18.309 you know I just like to have fun you know then 00:21:18.309 --> 00:21:23.329 that's the extent of it for me if alcohol ever 00:21:23.329 --> 00:21:25.670 put me in a place where it disrupted my life 00:21:25.670 --> 00:21:29.069 and you know put me in a space where I wouldn't 00:21:29.069 --> 00:21:32.430 have been able to be successful I would have 00:21:32.430 --> 00:21:36.890 done away with it a long time ago but To the 00:21:36.890 --> 00:21:41.170 point I was making earlier It's hard to break 00:21:41.170 --> 00:21:46.970 a habit true, but breaking an addiction That's 00:21:46.970 --> 00:21:49.269 gonna involve a lot more than just willpower 00:21:49.269 --> 00:21:52.849 Right, you're gonna you're gonna need willpower. 00:21:52.950 --> 00:21:55.849 You're gonna need prayer. You're gonna need support 00:21:55.849 --> 00:21:59.269 Maybe even a medical intervention depending on 00:21:59.269 --> 00:22:02.170 your vice or what you have going on and group 00:22:02.170 --> 00:22:05.230 therapy and counseling and things like that thankfully, 00:22:05.289 --> 00:22:07.880 I you know it wasn't that serious for me but 00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:12.779 if you are someone you love is struggling with 00:22:12.779 --> 00:22:18.380 an addiction if you can encourage them to seek 00:22:18.380 --> 00:22:24.059 help seriously if they want to break the addiction 00:22:24.059 --> 00:22:30.559 then try to get them some help because It's gonna 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:33.059 be something that's extremely difficult for the 00:22:33.059 --> 00:22:36.380 person to do on their own and in their own strength 00:22:36.380 --> 00:22:41.319 They're gonna need some help and there's no shame 00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:46.160 in that at all and Remember addictions come in 00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.680 all types of different forms Some are visible 00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:53.019 like drug and alcohol abuse others. They may 00:22:53.019 --> 00:22:54.819 be able to hide a little better It could be something 00:22:54.819 --> 00:23:00.230 like compulsive gambling or over eating Stealing 00:23:00.230 --> 00:23:02.730 some people have sex addictions. I know a couple 00:23:02.730 --> 00:23:09.029 of those so regardless of the substance or the 00:23:09.029 --> 00:23:14.109 behavior The impact of it can be just as devastating 00:23:14.109 --> 00:23:17.990 to a person's life in terms of their mental and 00:23:17.990 --> 00:23:22.750 their emotional state their their their spiritual 00:23:22.750 --> 00:23:26.430 well -being But the good news about that is that 00:23:26.430 --> 00:23:30.029 there is help available. There is help out there. 00:23:30.410 --> 00:23:34.589 And a lot of it is free. So like I said, if you 00:23:34.589 --> 00:23:38.329 or someone you love is struggling, silently struggling, 00:23:39.210 --> 00:23:42.170 loudly struggling, remember there are a lot of 00:23:42.170 --> 00:23:46.470 free and confidential resources that are ready 00:23:46.470 --> 00:23:50.109 and available to help you with support and guidance 00:23:50.109 --> 00:23:53.579 and get you on a path to recovery. Now, I'm going 00:23:53.579 --> 00:23:56.599 to give you a couple of numbers. I have a list 00:23:56.599 --> 00:24:00.380 here of some trusted organizations that you can 00:24:00.380 --> 00:24:03.980 look into, and maybe they could help you or the 00:24:03.980 --> 00:24:06.079 person in your life that you love that has an 00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:09.700 issue. Now, if the person has a gambling problem, 00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:13.740 there is an agency called the National Problem 00:24:13.740 --> 00:24:16.920 Gambling Helpline. And I'm going to give you 00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:19.099 a 1 -800 number. You can text this number. You 00:24:19.099 --> 00:24:22.240 can call it. They also have chat and what have 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:26.619 you, but the number is 1 -800 -GAMBLER. So 1 00:24:26.619 --> 00:24:34.759 -800 -426 -2537. If anyone you know has an eating 00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:40.660 disorder, where there's bulimia, anorexia, I 00:24:40.660 --> 00:24:42.799 don't know who has those things anymore. I know 00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:44.480 there's some people that do, but bulimia and 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:47.480 anorexia just seem like they're so like 80s. 00:24:47.549 --> 00:24:49.849 like an 80s disorder, but I know that there are 00:24:49.849 --> 00:24:52.109 millions of people still struggling with that. 00:24:52.730 --> 00:24:56.109 If you eat too much, I know a few people who 00:24:56.109 --> 00:24:58.869 are morbidly obese, they can't control their 00:24:58.869 --> 00:25:02.329 portions, and they have an issue with, they just 00:25:02.329 --> 00:25:07.450 can't stop eating. That's an addiction. There's 00:25:07.450 --> 00:25:10.869 an organization called the Alliance, and they 00:25:10.869 --> 00:25:15.569 give free therapist -led in -person or virtual 00:25:15.569 --> 00:25:20.230 support groups. Their website is Alliance for 00:25:20.230 --> 00:25:24.349 eating disorders calm Alliance for eating disorders 00:25:24.349 --> 00:25:29.910 calm Okay If you have problems with drugs or 00:25:29.910 --> 00:25:33.789 alcohol or no someone that does They have a national 00:25:33.789 --> 00:25:37.690 drug helpline. This is 24 hours seven days a 00:25:37.690 --> 00:25:42.390 week is confidential Their number is one eight 00:25:42.390 --> 00:25:48.180 four four two eight nine zero eight National 00:25:48.180 --> 00:25:58.680 Drug Helpline 1 -844 -289 -0879. We talked about 00:25:58.680 --> 00:26:03.839 sex addiction earlier. Don't be ashamed. That's 00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:06.460 more common than you think. I actually found 00:26:06.460 --> 00:26:12.420 a service here that offers support for sex addictions 00:26:12.420 --> 00:26:15.960 and, I don't mean to laugh, sex addictions and 00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:19.079 love. Addictions, I didn't you know necessarily 00:26:19.079 --> 00:26:22.220 know that was a thing But apparently some people 00:26:22.220 --> 00:26:25.400 are addicted to love to love and it causes them 00:26:25.400 --> 00:26:29.859 a lot of you know Just issues. Let me give you 00:26:29.859 --> 00:26:35.960 a website is s is in Sam ill is in Larry a a 00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:42.380 F is in Frank W s is in Sam org Okay, it's called 00:26:42.380 --> 00:26:47.710 the sex and love addicts anonymous whatever that 00:26:47.710 --> 00:26:52.930 is, but it's SLAA. So it's Fellowship Based Support. 00:26:52.950 --> 00:26:54.950 I do not mean to laugh, it's just I never heard 00:26:54.950 --> 00:26:58.009 of Love Acts until I looked this up today. But 00:26:58.009 --> 00:26:59.970 they have Fellowship Based Support for people 00:26:59.970 --> 00:27:03.089 struggling with obsessive, sexual, or romantic 00:27:03.089 --> 00:27:06.210 behaviors. I told you it can take a lot of forms 00:27:06.210 --> 00:27:09.289 now, so just because you're able to hide yours 00:27:09.289 --> 00:27:12.470 and make it look pretty, it doesn't mean that 00:27:12.470 --> 00:27:14.410 it's still not having a negative impact on your 00:27:14.410 --> 00:27:17.640 life. All right, this is the last one. This is 00:27:17.640 --> 00:27:20.740 just for anyone with any mental health and or 00:27:20.740 --> 00:27:25.940 addiction issues. This is S -A -M -H -S -A, National 00:27:25.940 --> 00:27:34.460 Hotline, 1 -800 -662 -HELP, 1 -800 -662 -4357. 00:27:34.539 --> 00:27:38.740 Again, this is confidential, 24 -7. They speak 00:27:38.740 --> 00:27:42.420 various languages on this line. And it's a good 00:27:42.420 --> 00:27:46.400 resource for substance abuse and or mental health. 00:27:47.539 --> 00:27:49.460 And I lie, there is one more. I found another 00:27:49.460 --> 00:27:52.759 one that is a suicide and crisis lifeline. And 00:27:52.759 --> 00:27:54.740 you can dial this from your regular phone or 00:27:54.740 --> 00:27:59.200 your cell phone. Just dial 988. So it's just 00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:01.819 like another emergency number. Just dial 988. 00:28:02.180 --> 00:28:04.180 You'll instantly be connected with someone that 00:28:04.180 --> 00:28:07.440 can help you if you're having a mental health 00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:11.490 crisis or you're under emotional distress or 00:28:11.490 --> 00:28:13.150 you're having suicidal thoughts or something 00:28:13.150 --> 00:28:15.289 like that, they'll talk you through that type 00:28:15.289 --> 00:28:18.589 of stuff, okay? All right, how are we looking 00:28:18.589 --> 00:28:22.569 on time? 628. Before we go to break, let me give 00:28:22.569 --> 00:28:28.910 you an update on my friendship with Craig. Because 00:28:28.910 --> 00:28:33.130 in part three I mentioned that my friendship 00:28:33.130 --> 00:28:36.150 with Craig has sort of changed over the years. 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:39.079 You know it all started with that fallout between 00:28:39.079 --> 00:28:43.319 me and the girlfriend and Then my numerous relocations 00:28:43.319 --> 00:28:48.500 and deployments all over the world And then most 00:28:48.500 --> 00:28:54.119 recently his now staunch atheist beliefs which 00:28:54.119 --> 00:28:58.619 Conflicts directly with my personal beliefs Not 00:28:58.619 --> 00:29:02.359 that I'm religious at all I grew up sort of in 00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:05.799 a religious type thing, but I've kind of moved 00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:11.299 away from that. I believe that religions are 00:29:11.299 --> 00:29:16.079 man -made constructs that were designed as a 00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:20.000 tool to manipulate and control and divide the 00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:21.500 masses. And I talked about this a little bit 00:29:21.500 --> 00:29:24.579 on our very last show with Jeff Kleckle when 00:29:24.579 --> 00:29:27.519 we were talking about his near -death experience. 00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:34.539 Even with that, I still do believe in God, Jehovah, 00:29:34.819 --> 00:29:37.519 Jesus, Yahweh, the source, the universe, whatever 00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:41.819 you want to call it. I don't believe that matters 00:29:41.819 --> 00:29:45.059 so much as we treat others the way we wish to 00:29:45.059 --> 00:29:48.460 be treated while we're on this earth. All the 00:29:48.460 --> 00:29:50.960 arguments and divisiveness that we have going 00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:53.779 on in this world about various religions or non 00:29:53.779 --> 00:29:56.279 -religious views and all this, I don't think 00:29:56.279 --> 00:29:58.539 any of that serves any type of useful purpose. 00:29:59.920 --> 00:30:03.380 And yet that's something that my friend Craig 00:30:03.380 --> 00:30:09.180 seems to enjoy engaging in. But even with that, 00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:12.200 I can look past Craig's personal beliefs. Like 00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:14.019 I said, we don't have to have the same beliefs 00:30:14.019 --> 00:30:17.819 in order to be friends. But I can look past that 00:30:17.819 --> 00:30:20.720 and still be his friend. So long as we agree 00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:23.920 to disagree about certain things, God being one 00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:30.269 of them. I think more of our issue has been the 00:30:30.269 --> 00:30:34.210 thing with the girlfriend that coupled with the 00:30:34.210 --> 00:30:37.089 distance. I think those two things combined just 00:30:37.089 --> 00:30:39.789 sort of led to us growing apart to a certain 00:30:39.789 --> 00:30:43.990 extent. But I feel like the love is still there. 00:30:44.490 --> 00:30:48.250 You know, if he needs me, I'm of course gonna 00:30:48.250 --> 00:30:50.990 be there for him. And I believe that he'd be 00:30:50.990 --> 00:30:53.930 there for me as well if I needed it. You know, 00:30:53.930 --> 00:30:58.759 I think... What I'm mourning is the closeness 00:30:58.759 --> 00:31:02.839 that we had. I think that's what it is. But, 00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:06.640 you know, things change over time. And we have 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:11.079 to adapt to things when they change, you know? 00:31:11.339 --> 00:31:15.180 I think I may have, I don't know, a bit of a 00:31:15.180 --> 00:31:18.619 romanticized concept of friendship that I'm still 00:31:18.619 --> 00:31:22.119 trying to contend with. You know, most friendships 00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:23.759 and relationships are not going to look like 00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:27.970 the ones on tv in real life especially when you 00:31:27.970 --> 00:31:31.630 talk about getting in your 40s and your 50s friendships 00:31:31.630 --> 00:31:37.309 are complicated and nuanced you know people go 00:31:37.309 --> 00:31:40.190 through changes and you know different things 00:31:40.190 --> 00:31:43.329 and you just have to do your best to be a friend 00:31:43.329 --> 00:31:47.890 and and love people through whatever they may 00:31:47.890 --> 00:31:50.029 be going through or whatever you may be going 00:31:50.029 --> 00:31:53.599 through you know just Because things start out 00:31:53.599 --> 00:31:55.259 one way, doesn't mean it's going to continue 00:31:55.259 --> 00:32:00.720 that way. I don't know, I think the lesson here 00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.480 is to love people the best you know how and not 00:32:05.480 --> 00:32:10.819 be rigid in your friendships. Be willing to adapt 00:32:10.819 --> 00:32:13.759 because every friendship is going to evolve and 00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:21.589 change over time. It becomes a time where we 00:32:21.589 --> 00:32:25.349 have to let go or separate with one of our friends. 00:32:26.309 --> 00:32:28.730 Just do it with love. Do it with love in your 00:32:28.730 --> 00:32:33.210 heart for that person. And wish them well. And 00:32:33.210 --> 00:32:37.289 really I think that's all a person can do. Sort 00:32:37.289 --> 00:32:39.730 of like what I was talking about with my other 00:32:39.730 --> 00:32:41.230 friend. I said I wasn't going to say his name 00:32:41.230 --> 00:32:42.970 no more because I was dragging him for like three 00:32:42.970 --> 00:32:45.390 or four episodes. But yeah, that's all that you 00:32:45.390 --> 00:32:48.309 can do is try to love people the best you can. 00:32:50.619 --> 00:32:52.980 And sometimes the friendship is going to drift 00:32:52.980 --> 00:32:57.039 and kind of fade. And that's OK. But just try 00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:00.180 not to force anything. Just let things happen 00:33:00.180 --> 00:33:01.779 the way they're going to happen. And do the best 00:33:01.779 --> 00:33:05.059 that you can on your part. All right. So with 00:33:05.059 --> 00:33:07.279 that, we're going to take a quick commercial 00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:09.660 break. But don't go too far. When we come back, 00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:11.460 we're going to switch gears a little bit and 00:33:11.460 --> 00:33:14.759 lighten the mood. And we're going to do a little 00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:17.319 bit of my new segment that I love called Better 00:33:17.319 --> 00:33:19.680 Late Than Never. Plus, we'll talk about a few 00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:21.579 topics if we have time that you don't want to 00:33:21.579 --> 00:33:24.440 miss. So more rants and real talk coming up. 00:33:24.460 --> 00:33:27.480 Stay with us. We'll be back. Looking for your 00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:30.880 next car? Amazon Autos has you covered. With 00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:33.460 just a few clicks, you can shop a wide selection 00:33:33.460 --> 00:33:36.420 of new vehicles, compare prices, read reviews, 00:33:36.660 --> 00:33:39.140 and even arrange pickup or delivery, just like 00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:41.859 ordering anything else on Amazon. It's the future 00:33:41.859 --> 00:33:45.279 of car buying, simple, transparent, and all online. 00:33:45.609 --> 00:33:48.250 Backed by Amazon's trusted network and partnering 00:33:48.250 --> 00:33:51.269 with local dealerships, Amazon Autos is redefining 00:33:51.269 --> 00:33:54.750 how we shop for cars. Visit amazon .com forward 00:33:54.750 --> 00:33:57.730 slash autos and drive into the future today. 00:33:59.789 --> 00:34:02.349 All right, class of 2025. Let's talk real quick. 00:34:02.809 --> 00:34:04.930 If you're out here applying for jobs, getting 00:34:04.930 --> 00:34:08.050 ghosted, overwhelmed, or just straight up tired. 00:34:08.409 --> 00:34:10.690 Hey, I've been there. The search can feel like 00:34:10.690 --> 00:34:13.739 a full time job with no paycheck. That's why 00:34:13.739 --> 00:34:17.119 I always recommend Indeed .com to folks just 00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:20.579 starting out. It's simple, clean, and gets straight 00:34:20.579 --> 00:34:23.659 to the point. You set your filters, upload your 00:34:23.659 --> 00:34:27.300 resume once, and you're off. No fluff, no hoops, 00:34:27.639 --> 00:34:30.019 just jobs that actually match what you're looking 00:34:30.019 --> 00:34:33.460 for. And listen, don't let the job boards intimidate 00:34:33.460 --> 00:34:35.659 you. You don't need it all figured out to get 00:34:35.659 --> 00:34:38.800 started. Just take the first step. If you're 00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:41.650 ready to stop scrolling and start applying, check 00:34:41.650 --> 00:34:45.650 out nd .com. It helped me, a lot of others, and 00:34:45.650 --> 00:34:49.150 I know it'll help you too. Log on to nd .com 00:34:49.150 --> 00:34:56.130 today. Welcome to another broadcast of Spiritual 00:34:56.130 --> 00:34:58.329 Concerns, the Deborah Ruffini Show on Artists 00:34:58.329 --> 00:35:00.849 First Radio Network. We're live from England 00:35:00.849 --> 00:35:04.210 on Saturdays and Sundays, 3pm New York, 8pm London. 00:35:04.789 --> 00:35:07.250 All past shows or podcasts, find them at artistsfirst 00:35:07.250 --> 00:35:10.130 .com. I'll be your host where issues relating 00:35:10.130 --> 00:35:12.690 to the spiritual matters of concern will be largely 00:35:12.690 --> 00:35:35.159 examined and discussed. Enjoy the show. the meaning 00:35:35.159 --> 00:35:39.639 and the modern -day relevance of Juneteenth and 00:35:39.639 --> 00:35:43.280 shared a quick update on my new weekend's only 00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:46.159 drinking habit, which I'm learning to love a 00:35:46.159 --> 00:35:49.280 little bit more with each week that passes. And 00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:52.699 we also talked about the fine line between routine 00:35:52.699 --> 00:35:59.000 and addiction, or more specifically between... 00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:01.760 Oh, Lord, I lost my train of thought. But the 00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:04.119 fine line between routine and addiction. and 00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:07.920 we unpack the reality of friendships that evolve 00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:11.340 over time, fade over time, and shift a little 00:36:11.340 --> 00:36:14.900 bit, and the importance of staying flexible in 00:36:14.900 --> 00:36:18.579 those situations. So like I said, now let's lighten 00:36:18.579 --> 00:36:21.099 the mood with my new favorite segment called 00:36:21.099 --> 00:36:24.059 Better Late Than Never. And so if you're new 00:36:24.059 --> 00:36:26.280 around here, this is where I shamelessly admit 00:36:26.280 --> 00:36:30.940 to being a little late on just about every pop 00:36:30.940 --> 00:36:33.139 culture trend you can think of, whether it's... 00:36:33.050 --> 00:36:35.829 a movie that came out four or five years ago, 00:36:36.250 --> 00:36:39.250 or a viral moment that everyone's already forgotten 00:36:39.250 --> 00:36:43.369 about. That's what the vibe is. So let's get 00:36:43.369 --> 00:36:47.530 into it. All right. So I finally got around to 00:36:47.530 --> 00:36:52.389 watching the remake of The Color Purple. Again, 00:36:53.550 --> 00:36:55.150 it's been established that I'm very late. This 00:36:55.150 --> 00:36:59.329 was 2023 when this came out. But I took a look 00:36:59.329 --> 00:37:04.920 at it. And you know what? It's a very different 00:37:04.920 --> 00:37:08.360 experience from the original So this this is 00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:11.739 a remake of course. It's I would say it's bold 00:37:11.739 --> 00:37:17.320 and it's a musical adaptation of Alice Walker's 00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:21.400 classic novel is produced by Oprah Winfrey Steven 00:37:21.400 --> 00:37:26.800 Spielberg Scott Sanders and Quincy Jones and 00:37:26.800 --> 00:37:32.500 The director was blitzed by the wooly It stars 00:37:32.500 --> 00:37:37.480 Fantasia Barrino. This was her film debut. Of 00:37:37.480 --> 00:37:41.139 course, she played Celie. Taraji P. Henson played 00:37:41.139 --> 00:37:45.619 Suge Avery. Danielle Brooks, who's phenomenal, 00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:49.440 by the way, she played Sophia. One of my favorite 00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:54.360 new actors, not new, new to me. He's been at 00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:57.519 this for a while, but Coleman Domingo. He played 00:37:57.519 --> 00:38:02.550 Mr. and Corey Hawkins played Harpo. Now, like 00:38:02.550 --> 00:38:05.510 I said, this came out back in December of 2023, 00:38:05.510 --> 00:38:09.650 and it sort of blends the Broadway -style musical 00:38:09.650 --> 00:38:14.730 that Oprah was producing with, you know, the 00:38:14.730 --> 00:38:18.510 whole movie concept and the emotional storytelling 00:38:18.510 --> 00:38:21.789 and the rich visuals and all that stuff that 00:38:21.789 --> 00:38:24.710 she adapted from the stage. And if you compare 00:38:24.710 --> 00:38:28.429 that to the original 1985 film, which was also 00:38:28.429 --> 00:38:33.289 directed by Steven Spielberg, this original movie 00:38:33.289 --> 00:38:36.010 was a drama. It wasn't a musical. And of course, 00:38:36.070 --> 00:38:39.530 it started the great Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey 00:38:39.530 --> 00:38:44.289 herself, and Danny Glover. So if you don't remember 00:38:44.289 --> 00:38:48.869 this, that version earned 11 Oscar nominations. 00:38:50.170 --> 00:38:54.250 It didn't win one, but it got 11 Oscar nominations. 00:38:54.539 --> 00:38:57.619 And it's often considered sacred ground in black 00:38:57.619 --> 00:39:02.119 cinema. So yeah, watching this updated version, 00:39:02.219 --> 00:39:05.619 it brought some nostalgia, but it also brought 00:39:05.619 --> 00:39:08.719 a different vibe. And I'm going to speak a little 00:39:08.719 --> 00:39:10.619 bit about my thoughts about this. I just jot 00:39:10.619 --> 00:39:12.800 it down some notes that I want to relay to you 00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:15.679 all about this. OK, so the first thing that I 00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:18.219 like, let's talk about what I liked first. I 00:39:18.219 --> 00:39:22.019 actually like that it was a musical production. 00:39:22.570 --> 00:39:27.030 I don't typically like musicals, but this was 00:39:27.030 --> 00:39:30.690 very well done and done in a way that made sense 00:39:30.690 --> 00:39:33.429 for the movie without sacrificing the story. 00:39:34.170 --> 00:39:37.670 So I love that it was a musical. Very great job. 00:39:38.289 --> 00:39:42.349 I thought Fantasia did an outstanding job being 00:39:42.349 --> 00:39:45.809 that this was her film debut. I think she did 00:39:45.809 --> 00:39:48.889 just as great of a job as Jennifer Hudson did 00:39:48.889 --> 00:39:56.519 in Dreamgirls, which was her film debut. Fantasia 00:39:56.519 --> 00:39:59.900 actually played Seeley on Broadway for three 00:39:59.900 --> 00:40:02.239 years. So I think this is where she kind of cut 00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:05.940 her teeth and why she was able to kind of effortlessly 00:40:05.940 --> 00:40:10.420 transition to this role. But she did a fantastic 00:40:10.420 --> 00:40:14.920 job. Great acting. The production was great. 00:40:15.320 --> 00:40:18.300 They spared no expense when it came to production. 00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:22.769 It's the costumes. were fantastic and colorful, 00:40:23.250 --> 00:40:28.150 bright. The cinematography was outstanding. The 00:40:28.150 --> 00:40:32.389 musical score and the choreography was extremely 00:40:32.389 --> 00:40:37.630 well done. And I love that the choreography was 00:40:37.630 --> 00:40:41.369 also era specific. They didn't try to put any 00:40:41.369 --> 00:40:44.710 twerking or any of these new dances in the choreography. 00:40:44.730 --> 00:40:49.630 It was very timeless for that time, the 40s, 00:40:49.630 --> 00:40:54.369 50s. back during the setting of the movie. And 00:40:54.369 --> 00:40:58.289 I also love that Quincy Jones and Steven Spielberg 00:40:58.289 --> 00:41:03.550 were a part of the production team. I think that 00:41:03.550 --> 00:41:09.530 gave some continuity to this new version and 00:41:09.530 --> 00:41:12.210 bringing in some similar elements from the original. 00:41:13.650 --> 00:41:19.389 And what else? Oh, Whoopi had a cameo in the 00:41:19.389 --> 00:41:22.710 film. And it wasn't just any cameo, I thought 00:41:22.710 --> 00:41:25.510 it was very well thought out. So Whoopi Goldberg, 00:41:25.929 --> 00:41:33.190 she cameoed as the midwife who delivers young 00:41:33.190 --> 00:41:38.610 Celie's second child. So that was sort of a subtle 00:41:38.610 --> 00:41:43.750 but meaningful role that kind of was symbolic 00:41:43.750 --> 00:41:45.929 because it was sort of like a bridge between 00:41:45.929 --> 00:41:49.570 the original and the new version. It showed respect 00:41:49.570 --> 00:41:56.570 to not Oprah, but Whoopi's role as Sealy. So 00:41:56.570 --> 00:41:59.309 it kind of was very symbolic and meaningful. 00:41:59.530 --> 00:42:01.929 I thought it was kind of like a chef's kiss type 00:42:01.929 --> 00:42:06.110 thing for the new film. I love that they dug 00:42:06.110 --> 00:42:11.269 a little deeper with the implied romance between 00:42:11.269 --> 00:42:15.750 the Suge Avery character and Sealy. They lightly 00:42:15.750 --> 00:42:18.769 glazed over it in the original. And I don't know 00:42:18.769 --> 00:42:23.639 if that was... Due to the era, you know, I think 00:42:23.639 --> 00:42:26.980 this came on what the Late 70s. So I don't know 00:42:26.980 --> 00:42:30.320 if it was because it's the taboo for that time 00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:34.960 or Alice didn't didn't feel like it was an important 00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:37.340 part of the story But they kind of went a little 00:42:37.340 --> 00:42:40.940 bit more in detail with that and made some subtle 00:42:40.940 --> 00:42:47.280 inferences there So I did like that And I actually 00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:52.500 agree with all of the casting Choices except 00:42:52.500 --> 00:42:54.440 one and I'll talk about it a little bit later 00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:58.179 when I talk about stuff. I don't like Coleman 00:42:58.179 --> 00:43:03.139 Domingo who played mister he embodied this role 00:43:03.139 --> 00:43:07.239 I Don't think there's anyone else who could have 00:43:07.239 --> 00:43:11.619 followed Danny Glover in that role without some 00:43:11.619 --> 00:43:15.420 form of eye rolling He was perfect whoever cast 00:43:15.420 --> 00:43:19.050 him for that. It was the excellent choice You 00:43:19.050 --> 00:43:20.949 couldn't have made a better decision for that. 00:43:20.969 --> 00:43:27.050 He just embodied the role of Mr. for this new 00:43:27.050 --> 00:43:30.570 version of the movie. So I love that. I felt 00:43:30.570 --> 00:43:32.989 like the producers understood the assignment 00:43:32.989 --> 00:43:40.369 with regard to keeping the original producers 00:43:40.369 --> 00:43:43.150 as part of the team, Quincy, Stephen, of course, 00:43:43.389 --> 00:43:45.460 Oprah Winfrey. I feel like trying to do this 00:43:45.460 --> 00:43:47.719 without either one of them would have been kind 00:43:47.719 --> 00:43:52.559 of a foul, given how masterfully the original 00:43:52.559 --> 00:43:57.639 was done by the main producers, Steven Spielberg. 00:44:00.260 --> 00:44:03.260 I feel like all these producers understood what 00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:07.320 this film meant to the culture, meaning if you're 00:44:07.320 --> 00:44:11.960 gonna go there and try to readapt this and reimagine 00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:14.829 this, you better do it right and you better do 00:44:14.829 --> 00:44:18.190 it and handle it with care because the color 00:44:18.190 --> 00:44:20.210 purple is one of those movies that's sort of 00:44:20.210 --> 00:44:24.150 like a family heirloom for a lot of people, especially 00:44:24.150 --> 00:44:27.050 black folks, you know, and given how we were 00:44:27.050 --> 00:44:29.550 already starting to feel some kind of way about 00:44:29.550 --> 00:44:33.329 Oprah, you know, given her connections with Harvey 00:44:33.329 --> 00:44:37.150 Weinstein and, you know, how she was starting 00:44:37.150 --> 00:44:39.989 to come for some other folks, you know, she could 00:44:39.989 --> 00:44:44.659 not afford to get this wrong. So I think overall 00:44:44.659 --> 00:44:48.840 it was just a great job, great production. Now 00:44:48.840 --> 00:44:50.659 here are a couple of things I didn't like about 00:44:50.659 --> 00:44:55.360 it. I talked about casting earlier. For the most 00:44:55.360 --> 00:45:00.000 part, they got the casting right. What I didn't 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.880 like was John Batiste being cast as Grady, which 00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:10.820 of course was Shook, Avery's husband. It just 00:45:10.820 --> 00:45:14.739 didn't, it felt off. Like okay, the original 00:45:14.739 --> 00:45:18.460 Grady was sexy. He was sexy, he was charming, 00:45:18.599 --> 00:45:24.539 he had panache, he had this devilish but irresistible 00:45:24.539 --> 00:45:29.579 vibe sort of thing going on. John Batiste for 00:45:29.579 --> 00:45:34.420 me was just okay in the role. It just, to me 00:45:34.420 --> 00:45:41.949 it was like forecasting. John Batiste gives delicate, 00:45:42.630 --> 00:45:46.789 crooner vibes, in my opinion. You know, maybe 00:45:46.789 --> 00:45:49.690 a little bit bisexual, you know. To me, he just 00:45:49.690 --> 00:45:53.150 wasn't the best compliment to Shug Avery's character, 00:45:53.730 --> 00:45:59.010 as portrayed by Taraji. Because Taraji and her 00:45:59.010 --> 00:46:04.349 character, Shug, they're like firecrackers. And 00:46:04.349 --> 00:46:07.219 John Batiste just didn't... To me, he didn't 00:46:07.219 --> 00:46:09.619 hit his mark. He didn't do a poor job, but I 00:46:09.619 --> 00:46:11.659 just felt like he just dropped the ball with 00:46:11.659 --> 00:46:14.719 the casting. He comes off as like a kind of like 00:46:14.719 --> 00:46:17.280 a soup sandwich a bit for me. But thankfully 00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:19.679 his role was not prominent enough in the movie 00:46:19.679 --> 00:46:23.219 to ruin the whole thing for me. So, you know, 00:46:23.219 --> 00:46:26.780 that was just more of a minor annoyance on my 00:46:26.780 --> 00:46:30.800 part. The only thing I didn't like too with this, 00:46:31.039 --> 00:46:34.949 aside from the casting, Choice with John Batiste. 00:46:34.949 --> 00:46:39.070 I didn't like that. This film only garnered one 00:46:39.070 --> 00:46:45.389 Academy Award nod versus The other got like what 00:46:45.389 --> 00:46:51.989 11? I Feel like that was a bit of a foul all 00:46:51.989 --> 00:46:55.750 of the great acting that was in this movie Taraji 00:46:55.750 --> 00:46:59.090 definitely deserved to be nominated for something 00:46:59.090 --> 00:47:05.150 with her portrayal of Sug Avery Definitely Danielle 00:47:05.150 --> 00:47:07.929 Brooks at least she was nominated. She did a 00:47:07.929 --> 00:47:13.210 phenomenal job as Sophia But you know the film 00:47:13.210 --> 00:47:18.210 didn't win in its category Or any other Oscars 00:47:18.210 --> 00:47:25.050 category so that was disappointing But hey at 00:47:25.050 --> 00:47:27.610 least it got one at least it got one nomination 00:47:27.610 --> 00:47:32.159 and there were other awards that the the remake 00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:36.900 got. It got a number of NCAA awards and I believe 00:47:36.900 --> 00:47:41.619 a Golden Globe for ensemble cast. So, you know, 00:47:41.639 --> 00:47:45.960 something there. But like I said, the remake 00:47:45.960 --> 00:47:50.820 received other multiple accolades with my other 00:47:50.820 --> 00:47:53.960 gripe about casting. Everything else about the 00:47:53.960 --> 00:47:57.420 movie is superb. So if you haven't seen it yet, 00:47:57.519 --> 00:48:00.380 you definitely want to stream it. Try to watch 00:48:00.380 --> 00:48:04.519 it this weekend It's about a two and a half hour 00:48:04.519 --> 00:48:07.099 movie, but you'll be glad you watched it is it's 00:48:07.099 --> 00:48:14.000 really well done What else do we have here Better 00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:16.739 late than never we talked about the pay pay pig 00:48:16.739 --> 00:48:19.599 trend still nothing on that It's just a matter 00:48:19.599 --> 00:48:21.699 of time before someone sends me something on 00:48:21.699 --> 00:48:24.500 that and they haven't sent me anything yet But 00:48:24.500 --> 00:48:29.090 maybe I'll do another post, you know, but I have 00:48:29.090 --> 00:48:33.429 to keep you updated on that. What else? There 00:48:33.429 --> 00:48:34.750 are some other things I want to talk about. I 00:48:34.750 --> 00:48:37.889 think I might save it for next time. But I kept 00:48:37.889 --> 00:48:40.010 you guys long enough. I think I'm going to go 00:48:40.010 --> 00:48:42.150 ahead and close this one out. But like I said, 00:48:42.170 --> 00:48:45.670 this has been another episode of Random Rants 00:48:45.670 --> 00:48:49.030 and Real Talk. And I really like these shows. 00:48:49.070 --> 00:48:50.909 I really appreciate you spending your hour with 00:48:50.909 --> 00:48:54.150 me. These episodes are fun for me. So if you 00:48:54.150 --> 00:48:57.320 laughed, if you learned something, if you Raise 00:48:57.320 --> 00:48:59.119 your eyebrows a couple of times. I feel like 00:48:59.119 --> 00:49:02.420 my job here is done. If you're new, go ahead 00:49:02.420 --> 00:49:05.519 and follow the show on Spotify, Amazon Music. 00:49:06.300 --> 00:49:08.639 Be sure to log on to artistsfirst .com. That's 00:49:08.639 --> 00:49:11.579 where you can catch replays of this show. You 00:49:11.579 --> 00:49:14.099 can also catch them on YouTube. Just look for 00:49:14.099 --> 00:49:19.519 the hashtag LWDAJ. Next week, Wednesday, same 00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:22.420 time, same vibe. It's gonna be a fresh new episode. 00:49:22.559 --> 00:49:24.789 You definitely don't wanna miss it. Until then, 00:49:25.110 --> 00:49:27.989 everybody, be good to yourself. Cut folks off 00:49:27.989 --> 00:49:30.849 that are draining your energy. And, you know, 00:49:31.289 --> 00:49:33.530 like I said, just always do the best you can. 00:49:33.590 --> 00:49:36.750 Have a great evening ahead. I'm Dr. Andre Jerry, 00:49:36.829 --> 00:49:38.849 and this has been Live with Dr. Andre Jerry. 00:49:39.010 --> 00:49:40.070 Good night, everybody. Take care.