WEBVTT 00:00:24.199 --> 00:00:27.559 Welcome to live with Dr. Andre Jerry, your prime 00:00:27.559 --> 00:00:30.750 time destination for bold conversations. unfiltered 00:00:30.750 --> 00:00:34.189 truth and real life inspiration. I'm your host 00:00:34.189 --> 00:00:37.270 Dr. Andre Jerry coming to you live from the beautiful 00:00:37.270 --> 00:00:40.729 San Juan, Puerto Rico. So whether you're listening 00:00:40.729 --> 00:00:42.890 from across the street or across the globe, I 00:00:42.890 --> 00:00:45.490 want to thank you for being here tonight and 00:00:45.490 --> 00:00:47.490 spending a little time with me this Wednesday 00:00:47.490 --> 00:00:50.990 evening. Last show was a little bit intense. 00:00:50.990 --> 00:00:52.950 I got some of the feedback, but it was a great 00:00:52.950 --> 00:00:54.829 show, much needed. We're going to kind of take 00:00:54.829 --> 00:00:57.250 it easy this episode and have a little fun. How 00:00:57.250 --> 00:01:00.840 about that? Quick shout out to my cousins who 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:03.859 are tuning in from Greenville, Georgia Harris, 00:01:03.880 --> 00:01:07.260 Jakari and Renata Hightower. I love you guys 00:01:07.260 --> 00:01:09.760 and thank you so much for all of your support. 00:01:09.780 --> 00:01:13.099 I really appreciate it You know Renata actually 00:01:13.099 --> 00:01:18.260 isn't a very common name You don't typically 00:01:18.260 --> 00:01:21.459 run into a lot of Renata's But I venture to say 00:01:21.459 --> 00:01:24.859 when you do they're they're gonna be very unique 00:01:24.859 --> 00:01:28.489 and kind -hearted people You know what I mean? 00:01:28.590 --> 00:01:30.870 And I'm not just talking about your one of the 00:01:30.870 --> 00:01:32.989 meal kind hearted. I'm talking about a unique 00:01:32.989 --> 00:01:35.950 sort of kind heartedness. I'm talking about the 00:01:35.950 --> 00:01:39.750 type of person who celebrates your success like 00:01:39.750 --> 00:01:43.170 it's their own. I think Renata's are the type 00:01:43.170 --> 00:01:47.030 of women who will not just call to check up on 00:01:47.030 --> 00:01:50.810 you. They will drive or fly to check up on you 00:01:50.810 --> 00:01:56.370 personally. And I think Renata's are big on family. 00:01:56.680 --> 00:01:59.780 and connections. They may not get all the support 00:01:59.780 --> 00:02:02.500 they need from everybody that they love, but 00:02:02.500 --> 00:02:04.680 they're going to make sure that everybody that 00:02:04.680 --> 00:02:10.280 they love feels supported and seen. And if they 00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:12.879 really love you, like if they really, really 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:16.520 love you, if somebody F's with you, it's going 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:19.800 to be hell to pay with a Renata. It just is. 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:23.780 And from my experience, Renatas are kind of like 00:02:23.780 --> 00:02:27.099 that neutral member of the family who can pretty 00:02:27.099 --> 00:02:30.580 much stay out of all of the that divisiveness 00:02:30.580 --> 00:02:33.300 that can kind of creep into your family and all 00:02:33.300 --> 00:02:35.520 the family drama and politics, they know how 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:39.000 to stay out of that mess. You know, we may not 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:42.000 be all speaking to one another or have, you know, 00:02:42.020 --> 00:02:43.939 these little factions and cliques in the family, 00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:49.000 but the Renatas, they can kind of navigate around 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:51.759 all of that and converse with everybody because 00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:55.240 they know how to stay out of the crap. You know, 00:02:55.659 --> 00:02:59.860 they're also very forgiving people and they're 00:02:59.860 --> 00:03:03.120 not big grudge holders I'm telling you if you 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:05.680 have a Renata in your family or if you're friends 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:07.659 with one I guarantee you everything that I'm 00:03:07.659 --> 00:03:10.719 saying about The Renata's I know apply to the 00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:13.319 Renata's that you know, I guarantee it. It's 00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:15.979 something about that name I don't know. I'm 46 00:03:15.979 --> 00:03:19.500 years old and I have never met a Renata that 00:03:19.500 --> 00:03:22.060 was a shitty person. It's just something about 00:03:22.060 --> 00:03:26.129 that name Cory's are pretty good people, too. 00:03:26.530 --> 00:03:29.330 You know, they typically don't bother anybody. 00:03:30.810 --> 00:03:33.849 Pam. You know, we all, everyone knows a Pam. 00:03:34.129 --> 00:03:37.289 Pams are typically good people. Now, I'll tell 00:03:37.289 --> 00:03:41.069 you one name that's a little different. Pat. 00:03:42.169 --> 00:03:44.430 I'm talking about if it's a male or a female. 00:03:44.449 --> 00:03:48.030 I don't care. If you're a Pat or you go by Pat, 00:03:48.750 --> 00:03:52.810 you probably are a trip. You probably are a trip. 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:57.080 But anyway, so shout out to my cousin, Renata 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:59.500 Hightower. Shout out to my other good friend, 00:03:59.639 --> 00:04:02.479 Renata Jordan, who is the reason why I'm on the 00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:05.460 air today. And shout out to all the other Renatas 00:04:05.460 --> 00:04:07.659 out there who may be listening. We love you. 00:04:07.699 --> 00:04:11.099 We appreciate you. All right. So I got some great 00:04:11.099 --> 00:04:14.800 feedback on the shows we did last month. We touched 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:18.319 on toxic friendships. We talked about mental 00:04:18.319 --> 00:04:21.129 health. And we also talked about the road ahead 00:04:21.129 --> 00:04:24.089 for the class of 2025. And I actually received 00:04:24.089 --> 00:04:27.790 a ton of messages from recent grads who caught 00:04:27.790 --> 00:04:31.029 the playback of the episode we did about real 00:04:31.029 --> 00:04:33.870 talk for the class of 2025. And I'll tell you, 00:04:33.949 --> 00:04:37.310 a lot of them said it gave them the clarity and 00:04:37.310 --> 00:04:40.509 the encouragement that they didn't really even 00:04:40.509 --> 00:04:44.769 know they needed. So if you've got a graduate 00:04:44.769 --> 00:04:48.209 in your family or in your social circle, then 00:04:48.209 --> 00:04:51.110 send them the link to that show. Send them the 00:04:51.110 --> 00:04:53.189 link. Trust me, they'll probably hear something 00:04:53.189 --> 00:04:56.129 that could really help them to navigate this 00:04:56.129 --> 00:05:00.089 next chapter. And if you're looking for the perfect 00:05:00.089 --> 00:05:03.209 graduation gift for a graduate in your circle, 00:05:03.569 --> 00:05:05.629 especially for someone just stepping into the 00:05:05.629 --> 00:05:09.089 real world, grab them a copy of my latest book, 00:05:09.189 --> 00:05:12.829 Not Just a Diploma, your playbook for post -grad 00:05:12.829 --> 00:05:17.389 power moves. It's a really short read. It's relevant. 00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:20.939 And I wrote it for people who are in that in 00:05:20.939 --> 00:05:23.980 -between space. You know, where school ends, 00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:26.639 but then you're getting into real life and things 00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:29.920 are starting to get really real. It's a really 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:33.139 good resource for them. I priced it adequately, 00:05:33.240 --> 00:05:35.079 so it's not going to cost you a lot. But it's 00:05:35.079 --> 00:05:38.220 a great investment for someone who is fresh out 00:05:38.220 --> 00:05:39.839 of college and they're getting ready for the 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:42.680 real world now. So check that out. It's on Amazon. 00:05:43.050 --> 00:05:45.589 All right, so now that we've shown some love 00:05:45.589 --> 00:05:48.069 to our grads, we're going to get into our show. 00:05:49.009 --> 00:05:53.269 The theme for tonight is random rants and real 00:05:53.269 --> 00:05:57.910 talk. So this is part three of our series where 00:05:57.910 --> 00:06:00.990 I basically just riff from topic to topic. It 00:06:00.990 --> 00:06:03.790 just depends on my mood and how many glasses 00:06:03.790 --> 00:06:07.310 of wine I've had. You know, speaking of alcohol, 00:06:07.730 --> 00:06:10.209 I'll tell you something. I've noticed that I 00:06:10.209 --> 00:06:13.509 have Cut back a lot lately, especially since 00:06:13.509 --> 00:06:17.230 I retired back in March and That actually has 00:06:17.230 --> 00:06:21.550 saved me a lot of money to be honest I didn't 00:06:21.550 --> 00:06:25.970 really realize how much money I spent on alcohol 00:06:25.970 --> 00:06:32.370 in a week It was substantial so that definitely 00:06:32.370 --> 00:06:35.649 played a part in my decision to cut back a little 00:06:35.649 --> 00:06:40.100 bit and I don't know, aside from saving money, 00:06:40.139 --> 00:06:42.639 that aspect of that, I also guess I wanted to 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:45.660 just kind of prove to myself that I wasn't an 00:06:45.660 --> 00:06:49.160 alcoholic. And I'm not talking about like the 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:51.759 textbook medical definition for alcohol, because 00:06:51.759 --> 00:06:54.720 that's some BS. I've never agreed with that. 00:06:55.959 --> 00:06:58.959 So according to the National Institute on Alcohol 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:04.220 Abuse and alcoholism, you are considered a heavy 00:07:04.220 --> 00:07:07.959 drinker if you are a man who drinks more than 00:07:07.959 --> 00:07:13.139 four drinks per day or more than 14 drinks per 00:07:13.139 --> 00:07:15.660 week. Or if you're a woman who drinks more than 00:07:15.660 --> 00:07:18.800 three drinks per day or drinks more than seven 00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:22.720 drinks per week. And by the way, they consider 00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:26.279 a drink or a standard drink, one 12 ounce beer, 00:07:27.500 --> 00:07:32.759 one five ounce glass of wine, or just like one 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:35.730 shot of liquor or something like that. So that's 00:07:35.730 --> 00:07:38.769 what they consider one drink. So for me, that's 00:07:38.769 --> 00:07:42.029 everybody who drinks. Unless you're talking about 00:07:42.029 --> 00:07:44.949 someone that's like the occasional drinker who 00:07:44.949 --> 00:07:48.269 only has like alcohol on special occasions or 00:07:48.269 --> 00:07:52.470 something like that. But unless I'm just a jaded 00:07:52.470 --> 00:07:56.470 drunk, I think four drinks per day, that sounds 00:07:56.470 --> 00:07:59.290 like a pretty good time for me. You know, in 00:07:59.290 --> 00:08:02.730 fact, I'm kind of pissed if it's just four. Obviously, 00:08:02.750 --> 00:08:05.870 I'm kidding. Or maybe I'm using humor to mask 00:08:05.870 --> 00:08:09.730 the truth, but you know, in the very worst case 00:08:09.730 --> 00:08:15.149 scenario, I would say I'm a very high functioning 00:08:15.149 --> 00:08:20.009 alcoholic. And what I mean by that is that regardless 00:08:20.009 --> 00:08:23.149 of how many drinks one may consider excessive, 00:08:24.629 --> 00:08:29.290 my alcohol consumption has never been a problem 00:08:29.290 --> 00:08:34.649 to the extent that it impeded my Upward trajectory 00:08:34.649 --> 00:08:37.950 or my aspirations or gotten away of me achieving 00:08:37.950 --> 00:08:42.389 any of the goals I set out for myself It's never 00:08:42.389 --> 00:08:46.330 been an issue in that regard and because I've 00:08:46.330 --> 00:08:49.690 always been pretty good at Self -correction, 00:08:49.710 --> 00:08:51.970 you know, like I'm not the guy you're gonna have 00:08:51.970 --> 00:08:55.190 to sit down and have an intervention with you 00:08:55.190 --> 00:09:00.590 know, I'm not that guy I've always Had a pretty 00:09:00.590 --> 00:09:04.990 keen awareness of myself in terms of my negative 00:09:04.990 --> 00:09:10.610 behaviors and being able to self correct before 00:09:10.610 --> 00:09:16.049 things got too out of hand. And I think for me, 00:09:16.070 --> 00:09:20.029 drinking had become more of a habit than it ever 00:09:20.029 --> 00:09:23.289 was like an addiction per se. Because it was 00:09:23.289 --> 00:09:26.690 just something I had become used to doing. To 00:09:26.690 --> 00:09:28.149 be honest with you, I've been drinking since 00:09:28.149 --> 00:09:33.460 I was 16. I thought about that too. My parents 00:09:33.460 --> 00:09:35.500 were very liberal. We had alcohol in the house. 00:09:35.580 --> 00:09:37.279 They didn't lock it up. They didn't hide it. 00:09:37.539 --> 00:09:39.320 They didn't do any of that stuff. They was like, 00:09:39.419 --> 00:09:42.879 look, it's there. My mom's approach, I remember 00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:45.460 she told me I was 16. She was like, look, you're 00:09:45.460 --> 00:09:47.340 going to find a way to drink it and to do whatever 00:09:47.340 --> 00:09:50.059 you want to do anyway. So you might as well do 00:09:50.059 --> 00:09:52.320 it in the house where I can see you and kind 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:55.440 of supervise. So she didn't really encourage 00:09:55.440 --> 00:09:57.690 drinking. She was just like. If you're going 00:09:57.690 --> 00:09:59.769 to do it, do it at home. I know what it's like 00:09:59.769 --> 00:10:01.629 to be a teenager. I know you're going to get 00:10:01.629 --> 00:10:04.669 into stuff. Do it at home. So I had a lot of 00:10:04.669 --> 00:10:07.250 liberty as a kid. And I thank my mom for that. 00:10:07.289 --> 00:10:09.789 Because I think when you take that approach to 00:10:09.789 --> 00:10:12.389 parenting and you don't try to keep them away 00:10:12.389 --> 00:10:14.149 from this and try to manipulate the situation, 00:10:14.429 --> 00:10:18.169 they just end up getting in all types of crap. 00:10:18.909 --> 00:10:21.470 But when you give them that freedom, still keep 00:10:21.470 --> 00:10:24.309 an eye on them. You make sure you know what they're 00:10:24.309 --> 00:10:26.389 doing, but just give them some leeway and some 00:10:26.389 --> 00:10:30.090 freedom to F up if they want to, you know within 00:10:30.090 --> 00:10:34.149 certain parameters, but they weren't so They 00:10:34.149 --> 00:10:38.070 were very liberal with me. I'll say that and 00:10:38.070 --> 00:10:42.950 I think Maybe the only reason why I did drink 00:10:42.950 --> 00:10:48.029 at 16 and 17 is a because it was there B I kind 00:10:48.029 --> 00:10:51.029 of somewhat had permission And for the most part, 00:10:51.190 --> 00:10:53.409 I always did it at home. And it wasn't heavy 00:10:53.409 --> 00:10:54.990 drink or anything like that. It was like on the 00:10:54.990 --> 00:10:59.070 weekends. And even then, it was like a wine cooler. 00:10:59.129 --> 00:11:02.490 My mom was a Verdi person. She loved Verdi. She 00:11:02.490 --> 00:11:05.490 loved Spumante. A little sweet drink. So we're 00:11:05.490 --> 00:11:07.549 talking about like a fuzzy neighbor or something 00:11:07.549 --> 00:11:10.509 like that. Anybody that grew up with me remember 00:11:10.509 --> 00:11:12.889 the fuzzy neighbors I used to get on the weekends. 00:11:13.309 --> 00:11:18.669 So that type of stuff. So yeah, it was never 00:11:18.669 --> 00:11:21.909 really excessive until I started, you know, venturing 00:11:21.909 --> 00:11:24.129 out and partying and stuff like that. And I would 00:11:24.129 --> 00:11:27.149 drink a little bit too much and not so much. 00:11:27.169 --> 00:11:31.250 There was too much. It was, I mixed a lot. So 00:11:31.250 --> 00:11:33.570 I would go from beer to wine and I would have 00:11:33.570 --> 00:11:35.830 a shot of this and Hey, Andre, try this. I'll 00:11:35.830 --> 00:11:38.070 have a shot of that. And so I would just end 00:11:38.070 --> 00:11:40.549 up getting wasted. Not because of the amount 00:11:40.549 --> 00:11:43.950 that I was drinking, but just when you mix so 00:11:43.950 --> 00:11:46.190 many different things, you're going to get messed 00:11:46.190 --> 00:11:50.309 up. You know, so it was that was kind of how 00:11:50.309 --> 00:11:56.190 I grew up. It wasn't a horrible thing but Like 00:11:56.190 --> 00:11:59.870 I said, it's always been pretty easy for me to 00:11:59.870 --> 00:12:04.769 self -correct But as I got older I had to go 00:12:04.769 --> 00:12:06.909 through my changes like with like with anyone 00:12:06.909 --> 00:12:09.789 else Oh the point I was gonna make earlier about 00:12:09.789 --> 00:12:13.350 why I was drinking at 16 remember the last show 00:12:13.350 --> 00:12:16.269 when I shared a little bit about just a few of 00:12:16.269 --> 00:12:21.370 the traumas that I went through at age 13. I 00:12:21.370 --> 00:12:24.269 think, had it not been for those traumas, I would 00:12:24.269 --> 00:12:28.830 not have leaned on alcohol to cope. Back then, 00:12:28.830 --> 00:12:31.950 I didn't know I was coping. I just liked the 00:12:31.950 --> 00:12:35.190 way it made me feel. And it was just kind of 00:12:35.190 --> 00:12:38.970 like a release or something, you know. But looking 00:12:38.970 --> 00:12:43.200 back on it, that was my coping mechanism. And 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:45.759 so that's why I was telling you, you really have 00:12:45.759 --> 00:12:48.279 to make sure you get to the root of your traumas 00:12:48.279 --> 00:12:51.500 because if you leave it unresolved, you're going 00:12:51.500 --> 00:12:54.019 to manifest all sorts of different behaviors 00:12:54.019 --> 00:12:56.320 and coping mechanisms that you don't even realize 00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:58.519 are a coping mechanism. You just think it's normal 00:12:58.519 --> 00:13:01.419 behavior, but you're really acting out of trauma. 00:13:02.120 --> 00:13:05.139 And so that's for anyone with unresolved trauma. 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:08.750 So it's nothing to feel ashamed about. we all 00:13:08.750 --> 00:13:12.450 have some form of trauma and varying levels of 00:13:12.450 --> 00:13:16.909 trauma in our lives, you know. But yeah, so that's 00:13:16.909 --> 00:13:20.769 why I was drinking that early in my life. And 00:13:20.769 --> 00:13:25.149 I think had my mom and dad been more strict, 00:13:26.149 --> 00:13:29.649 I probably would have kind of went in another 00:13:29.649 --> 00:13:33.330 direction and been rebellious and found stuff 00:13:33.330 --> 00:13:36.899 to get into. But Since I had a little bit of 00:13:36.899 --> 00:13:40.179 stuff at home to get into, I didn't go crazy 00:13:40.179 --> 00:13:43.980 with it. And so, yeah, so it was just become 00:13:43.980 --> 00:13:46.759 more of a habit than really an addiction for 00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:51.000 me. Just something I was used to doing. And once 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:55.100 I retired and relocated to Puerto Rico, I noticed 00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:59.039 that I was still in that habit of drinking every 00:13:59.039 --> 00:14:02.350 day. And it took a friend to sort of challenge 00:14:02.350 --> 00:14:04.809 me on that. And by the way, that's what real 00:14:04.809 --> 00:14:07.710 friends do. If real friends see where you have 00:14:07.710 --> 00:14:10.929 a pattern of behavior that's not in your best 00:14:10.929 --> 00:14:13.149 interest, they're gonna call you on it. They're 00:14:13.149 --> 00:14:15.470 gonna confront you on it. That's what a real 00:14:15.470 --> 00:14:18.230 friend will do. You know, instead of just letting 00:14:18.230 --> 00:14:20.909 you just continue to go down a path that's not 00:14:20.909 --> 00:14:24.669 good. But yeah, I had a friend that sort of challenged 00:14:24.669 --> 00:14:28.759 me on that and They were like, Andre, do you 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.460 really feel like you should be drinking every 00:14:31.460 --> 00:14:36.120 day? And they asked it very delicately. And at 00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:39.259 first, it's easy to take questions like that 00:14:39.259 --> 00:14:41.519 and become defensive and be like, look, I'm grown, 00:14:41.860 --> 00:14:44.740 or I'm not hurting anybody, or why do you care? 00:14:45.720 --> 00:14:50.120 But they care because they're your friends. And 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:52.899 you are hurting yourself if you're drinking every 00:14:52.899 --> 00:14:57.019 day, whether you're grown or not. So getting 00:14:57.019 --> 00:15:01.039 defensive is a clue that there's something there 00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:04.120 that you may want to take a look at it. So in 00:15:04.120 --> 00:15:07.159 my case, my friend had a point. And so it really 00:15:07.159 --> 00:15:10.379 gave me something to think about. And I was like, 00:15:10.419 --> 00:15:13.639 you know what? There really isn't a reason for 00:15:13.639 --> 00:15:17.600 me to be drinking every single day. I'm retired 00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:19.639 from federal civil service. I don't have the 00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:22.870 stress of that leadership position anymore. I 00:15:22.870 --> 00:15:24.809 don't have the weight of carrying a team and 00:15:24.809 --> 00:15:26.429 making sure everybody's pulling their weight. 00:15:26.750 --> 00:15:30.169 I'm not in the toxic states anymore where daily 00:15:30.169 --> 00:15:34.350 life is like a nightmare. I'm not around my family, 00:15:34.409 --> 00:15:40.429 who I love. I love my family. And I know it's 00:15:40.429 --> 00:15:42.169 just not my family, so I'm not demonizing my 00:15:42.169 --> 00:15:44.429 family. But my family always has some shit going 00:15:44.429 --> 00:15:49.029 on. So I'm away from all of that. So what am 00:15:49.029 --> 00:15:54.659 I drinking every day? What for? And so that's 00:15:54.659 --> 00:15:59.159 when I really understood that for me, drinking 00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:01.240 had become more of a habit than an addiction, 00:16:01.539 --> 00:16:05.019 which is my way of unwinding or what I do at 00:16:05.019 --> 00:16:08.720 the end of the day. So now I've switched things 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:12.139 up a bit and I only drink on the weekends, Friday, 00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:14.759 Saturday and Sunday. And that's been working 00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:18.659 really well for me. Do I necessarily like it? 00:16:18.840 --> 00:16:23.080 No, absolutely not. I don't. I hate it actually, 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:27.419 but I know when something is in my best interest. 00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:32.000 And for me, it's in my best interest that I fast 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.240 from alcohol through the week. There's just no 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:36.100 reason to drink during the week unless it's a 00:16:36.100 --> 00:16:38.039 special occasion or something. And honestly, 00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:41.399 if I'm not willing to or able to make that type 00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:45.159 of adjustment and sacrifice for my own health 00:16:45.159 --> 00:16:48.419 and wellbeing, then yeah, that would mean I really 00:16:48.419 --> 00:16:55.370 do have a problem. but Boy do I live for the 00:16:55.370 --> 00:16:58.769 weekends now the weekends are like my jam now. 00:16:58.769 --> 00:17:03.649 I never used to be a weekend person Not really 00:17:03.649 --> 00:17:06.809 Because I was always a workaholic. I I never 00:17:06.809 --> 00:17:08.869 really did anything on the weekends I just found 00:17:08.869 --> 00:17:11.809 myself working in some capacity anyway, whether 00:17:11.809 --> 00:17:14.230 it was working on the show or you know writing 00:17:14.230 --> 00:17:17.829 another book or Doing some work for my regular 00:17:17.829 --> 00:17:21.500 job over the weekend. So that's That's what my 00:17:21.500 --> 00:17:24.920 weekends were about. But now things are a little 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.700 different. My weekends are for wine and whiskey 00:17:28.700 --> 00:17:32.059 and whatever else I can get my hands on. But 00:17:32.059 --> 00:17:35.819 seriously though, since I've cut back on the 00:17:35.819 --> 00:17:37.740 alcohol consumption, I do feel a lot better. 00:17:38.579 --> 00:17:44.319 I have a lot more mental clarity and focus. And 00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:47.079 my stomach's even got a little flatter. And the 00:17:47.079 --> 00:17:49.359 quality of my shows are better when I'm not drinking. 00:17:50.850 --> 00:17:55.609 Everybody wins. But all right. OK, so let's shift 00:17:55.609 --> 00:17:59.009 gears a little bit and let's talk about. One 00:17:59.009 --> 00:18:03.670 of my other character flaws, OK, my legendary 00:18:03.670 --> 00:18:08.970 ability to miss every cultural moment as it's 00:18:08.970 --> 00:18:12.130 actually happening. So this is going to be a 00:18:12.130 --> 00:18:16.029 brand new segment I'm going to do on. These type 00:18:16.029 --> 00:18:17.849 of shows where it's more laid -back. I'm gonna 00:18:17.849 --> 00:18:21.849 do a segment called better late than never So 00:18:21.849 --> 00:18:24.509 this is gonna be where I finally show up to the 00:18:24.509 --> 00:18:29.529 conversation That people have had years ago whether 00:18:29.529 --> 00:18:32.009 it's a show that everybody's already spoiled 00:18:32.009 --> 00:18:35.930 a movie that's been rebooted already or a Trend 00:18:35.930 --> 00:18:38.710 that died some slow embarrassing death and I'm 00:18:38.710 --> 00:18:41.450 just now discovering it. I admit it. I'm late. 00:18:41.450 --> 00:18:44.589 I may be a little behind but I'm committed to 00:18:44.589 --> 00:18:47.930 being behind with confidence. So I'm going to 00:18:47.930 --> 00:18:50.750 tell you what I think about some things that 00:18:50.750 --> 00:18:53.630 you guys probably stopped caring about a couple 00:18:53.630 --> 00:18:58.130 of years ago. OK, so like I said, I finally have 00:18:58.130 --> 00:19:00.670 a little bit of time on my hands, right? So I've 00:19:00.670 --> 00:19:03.170 been catching up on some old movies that I've 00:19:03.170 --> 00:19:08.130 been wanting to see. And one of them is Beetlejuice 00:19:08.130 --> 00:19:11.210 Beetlejuice. OK, so for anyone that doesn't know, 00:19:11.410 --> 00:19:15.119 that's the It's not a reboot. It's just a sequel 00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:19.240 to the original Beetlejuice movie Okay, and I 00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:20.960 realize some people may not even care about this, 00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:22.619 but hey, I'm having fun This is what I want to 00:19:22.619 --> 00:19:25.880 talk about today so the first thing is I love 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:30.339 that Michael Keaton and the other main characters 00:19:30.339 --> 00:19:36.279 reprise their roles. I love that Tim Burton Came 00:19:36.279 --> 00:19:38.660 back and directed the sequel. He also directed 00:19:38.660 --> 00:19:43.339 the first movie And I just love his take on dark 00:19:43.339 --> 00:19:47.279 fantasy and comedy horror, that whole genre. 00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:50.220 It reminds me of some of my favorite movies that 00:19:50.220 --> 00:19:54.559 he directed, Edward Scissorhands. He directed 00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:57.140 a couple of the Batmans. My favorite though is 00:19:57.140 --> 00:20:01.579 Batman Returns. But I like a lot of that weird, 00:20:02.740 --> 00:20:06.980 creepy, Tim Burton type feel. But I love in this 00:20:06.980 --> 00:20:09.359 movie how those characters from the original 00:20:09.660 --> 00:20:12.700 those afterlife creatures or whatever they were 00:20:12.700 --> 00:20:17.579 all staples in this this new version of the movie 00:20:17.579 --> 00:20:20.039 so remember the little shrunken head character 00:20:20.039 --> 00:20:23.220 or whatever they were in there um some other 00:20:23.220 --> 00:20:27.519 familiar aspects of the the movie um from the 00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:30.079 original movie now one thing i could have done 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:34.299 without uh was this storyline about Lydia Lydia 00:20:34.299 --> 00:20:37.440 Dietz that's the you know the goth girl the original 00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:40.099 goth girl from the original movie Played by Winona 00:20:40.099 --> 00:20:43.400 Ryder. They gave her a love interest in this 00:20:43.400 --> 00:20:47.000 movie. And I'll give it to them. They found a 00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:50.259 kind of a clever way to incorporate it in the 00:20:50.259 --> 00:20:54.859 movie without being totally annoying. That was 00:20:54.859 --> 00:20:57.039 OK. The only disappointment for me with this 00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:01.980 movie is that since Lydia's father, Charles Dietz, 00:21:02.259 --> 00:21:04.940 he's deceased in the sequel. OK, apparently he 00:21:04.940 --> 00:21:08.140 had some controversy in real life and I guess 00:21:08.140 --> 00:21:10.720 the studio didn't want him linked to this brand 00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:13.980 and this movie anymore. So they kind of killed 00:21:13.980 --> 00:21:19.059 him off. So although they found a way to incorporate 00:21:19.059 --> 00:21:23.640 his passing in the story without making it off 00:21:23.640 --> 00:21:25.839 brand for the movie, I feel like they missed 00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:28.779 an opportunity to make this untimely death of 00:21:28.779 --> 00:21:32.440 his a more prominent part of the story. I would 00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:35.759 have threw in some mysterious circumstances surrounding 00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:38.500 his death. And I would have had the family go 00:21:38.500 --> 00:21:40.740 back to that original house. Remember that original 00:21:40.740 --> 00:21:43.099 like two, three stories, spooky looking house 00:21:43.099 --> 00:21:47.240 on the hill, the White House, which was in the 00:21:47.240 --> 00:21:49.259 sequel. They had that in the sequel, by the way. 00:21:49.299 --> 00:21:53.220 But I would have used that backdrop to commune 00:21:53.220 --> 00:21:56.079 with Lydia's father's dead spirit to find out 00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:59.039 what truly happened to him. And then this would 00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:02.980 have kind of opened the way to potentially recreating 00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:05.299 one of the most memorable scenes from the first 00:22:05.299 --> 00:22:08.140 Beetlejuice. which was that dinner party scene. 00:22:08.220 --> 00:22:10.880 Remember, it was a dinner party and they end 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:16.880 up having this seance and the entire group is 00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:19.140 possessed or something. They do like this conga 00:22:19.140 --> 00:22:21.559 line to that song, that popular song, six foot, 00:22:21.660 --> 00:22:24.339 seven foot, eight foot, you know, that song. 00:22:25.079 --> 00:22:26.960 So I just feel like they really dropped the ball 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:30.859 there. And aside from that, if you're a fan of 00:22:30.859 --> 00:22:33.309 the original... Beetlejuice movie, I think you'll 00:22:33.309 --> 00:22:35.670 really enjoy the sequel. It doesn't outdo the 00:22:35.670 --> 00:22:39.609 original, which, you know, it's hard to do, but 00:22:39.609 --> 00:22:43.309 it definitely gives you that feeling of nostalgia 00:22:43.309 --> 00:22:46.369 from your childhood if that's what you're looking 00:22:46.369 --> 00:22:50.349 for. It does give you that. Okay, all right, 00:22:50.430 --> 00:22:55.809 moving on. So now let's talk about this not so 00:22:55.809 --> 00:22:59.329 new social media trend that has been going around. 00:22:59.789 --> 00:23:03.329 I guess it's more like a challenge. It's where 00:23:03.329 --> 00:23:07.569 people post their cash app, right? And these 00:23:07.569 --> 00:23:10.890 so -called pay pigs randomly send you money. 00:23:12.069 --> 00:23:14.009 Have y 'all seen this? Have y 'all, has anyone 00:23:14.009 --> 00:23:18.390 tried this? Okay, so I gave this a try about 00:23:18.390 --> 00:23:22.990 maybe two or three days ago. Because I mean, 00:23:23.069 --> 00:23:24.769 I just wanna see if it works. I'm not gonna block 00:23:24.769 --> 00:23:27.420 my blessing. I'm seeing folks screenshotting 00:23:27.420 --> 00:23:29.880 their cash out there getting hundreds of dollars 00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:31.880 sent to them. Some of them are getting thousands 00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:34.339 of dollars, just from random people who don't 00:23:34.339 --> 00:23:36.859 know them. All they did was put their cash up 00:23:36.859 --> 00:23:39.819 out there. And a lot of these folks, they aren't 00:23:39.819 --> 00:23:42.519 even cute. So I figured, what do I have to lose? 00:23:42.680 --> 00:23:47.140 You know, you lose. I still look good. I'm still 00:23:47.140 --> 00:23:50.279 sexy. Let somebody that want to be generous go 00:23:50.279 --> 00:23:55.000 ahead and send me some weekend drink money. Although 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:57.079 I posted it, I think here's the thing. I think 00:23:57.079 --> 00:24:00.660 it only works for women. Because on my TikTok, 00:24:01.059 --> 00:24:03.720 I just mentioned it. I said, look, I was like, 00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.400 where are the pay pigs for men? That's what I 00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:09.279 want to know. Let's not discriminate and just 00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:11.799 send the women the money. I put myself out there, 00:24:11.940 --> 00:24:14.880 send me some money too. You know, it may work, 00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:16.900 it may not. I don't know. I don't have anything 00:24:16.900 --> 00:24:19.740 to show for it yet, but I know I'm jumping on 00:24:19.740 --> 00:24:22.119 the train late. I don't care. I just put it out 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:23.980 there everyone else is doing it. Maybe someone's 00:24:23.980 --> 00:24:27.740 gonna send me something great It people getting 00:24:27.740 --> 00:24:30.400 five and six hundred and thousands of dollars 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:34.000 for nothing. So hey, why not? If you want to 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:35.559 send me some money, I'll even shout you out on 00:24:35.559 --> 00:24:38.079 the radio Because that's sponsor money right 00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:39.539 there if you're sending four and five hundred 00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:43.279 dollars Speaking of sponsors if you're a business 00:24:43.279 --> 00:24:46.630 owner or entrepreneur Maybe you're an author 00:24:46.630 --> 00:24:49.230 or a recording artist and you want to sponsor 00:24:49.230 --> 00:24:52.210 a future episode or be a guest on the show Just 00:24:52.210 --> 00:24:54.569 shoot me an email at live with dr. Andre Jerry 00:24:54.569 --> 00:24:58.970 at gmail .com and we'd love to have you on so 00:24:58.970 --> 00:25:02.809 yeah, I admit that I'm late to the Pay Pig trend, 00:25:02.809 --> 00:25:07.069 but like I said better late than never and if 00:25:07.069 --> 00:25:09.089 any pay pigs are listening right now my cash 00:25:09.089 --> 00:25:14.599 tag is dr. Andre Jerry Okay All right, y 'all, 00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:16.359 listen, I'm having too much fun with this. Let's 00:25:16.359 --> 00:25:19.579 take a quick commercial break. But don't go anywhere. 00:25:19.619 --> 00:25:22.259 When we come back, we've got more random rants 00:25:22.259 --> 00:25:24.500 and more real talk. So stay tuned. We'll be right 00:25:24.500 --> 00:25:30.259 back. All right, class of 2025, let's talk real 00:25:30.259 --> 00:25:32.559 quick. If you're out here applying for jobs, 00:25:32.940 --> 00:25:35.500 getting ghosted, overwhelmed, or just straight 00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:38.559 up tired, hey, I've been there. The search can 00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:40.819 feel like a full -time job with no paycheck. 00:25:41.230 --> 00:25:44.930 That's why I always recommend nd .com to folks 00:25:44.930 --> 00:25:48.410 just starting out. It's simple, clean, and gets 00:25:48.410 --> 00:25:50.829 straight to the point. You set your filters, 00:25:51.349 --> 00:25:54.670 upload your resume once, and you're off. No fluff, 00:25:54.930 --> 00:25:57.769 no hoops, just jobs that actually match what 00:25:57.769 --> 00:26:00.630 you're looking for. And listen, don't let the 00:26:00.630 --> 00:26:02.829 job boards intimidate you. You don't need it 00:26:02.829 --> 00:26:30.950 all fixed. Are you an unpublished author with 00:26:30.950 --> 00:26:33.529 a book idea or concept that you'd like to get 00:26:33.529 --> 00:26:36.650 published? Need help with editing, copyrighting, 00:26:36.869 --> 00:26:39.640 formatting, and other tedious tasks that are 00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:42.039 required to successfully publish a great book? 00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:45.099 Fast -track your next book release with Just 00:26:45.099 --> 00:26:47.900 Be Cards Publishing. Just Be Cards Publishing 00:26:47.900 --> 00:26:51.079 specializes in helping new and unpublished authors 00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:54.160 convert their manuscripts into completed published 00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:58.079 works that are featured on Amazon, Audible, and 00:26:58.079 --> 00:27:01.460 other major retail platforms. Ready to get started? 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:07.400 Email JustBeCards at gmail .com or visit JustBeCards 00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:11.259 .com for more information. Just Be Cards, creating 00:27:11.259 --> 00:27:16.240 a buzz just because. Hi, this is Rhea Fry. Check 00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:19.099 out my new book, Until I Find You, available 00:27:19.099 --> 00:27:22.119 now wherever books are sold. You can learn more 00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:26.279 at RheaFry .com. That's R -E -A -F -R -E -Y .com. 00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:29.339 And you are listening to the Artist First Radio 00:27:29.339 --> 00:27:41.150 Network. Hey everybody, welcome back to live 00:27:41.150 --> 00:27:43.549 with Dr. Andre Geary. Hey, thanks for hanging 00:27:43.549 --> 00:27:46.029 in with me through the commercial break. If you're 00:27:46.029 --> 00:27:49.430 just joining us, our topic tonight is random 00:27:49.430 --> 00:27:52.750 rants and real talk. So like I said, this is 00:27:52.750 --> 00:27:56.490 part three of our ongoing series. And right before 00:27:56.490 --> 00:27:58.730 the break, we wrapped up our brand new segment 00:27:58.730 --> 00:28:03.109 called Better Late Than Never. It's a new segment 00:28:03.109 --> 00:28:04.930 I'm introducing where I talk about basically 00:28:04.930 --> 00:28:10.849 how late I am to pop culture. So listen, I think 00:28:10.849 --> 00:28:13.009 I had too much fun catching up on the pop culture 00:28:13.009 --> 00:28:15.710 stuff. I'm totally late to the party, but hey, 00:28:15.710 --> 00:28:17.950 that's the point. I may not be on time, but when 00:28:17.950 --> 00:28:19.809 I show up, I'm gonna try to make it somewhat 00:28:19.809 --> 00:28:22.390 entertaining for you. All right, so now we're 00:28:22.390 --> 00:28:24.490 gonna shift gears a little bit and we're gonna 00:28:24.490 --> 00:28:27.970 move from last to something a little bit deeper, 00:28:28.150 --> 00:28:30.970 but not too much. Because part of real talk is 00:28:30.970 --> 00:28:33.990 about being real and talking about what's going 00:28:33.990 --> 00:28:38.009 on inside. So let's talk about that last episode. 00:28:38.599 --> 00:28:42.240 That was some pretty heavy stuff, right? We talked 00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:46.160 about mental health, childhood trauma, we talked 00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:49.000 about coping mechanisms as a result of that trauma. 00:28:49.619 --> 00:28:53.500 It was a lot. And as much as it may have helped 00:28:53.500 --> 00:28:57.380 you all, it helped me as well because there were 00:28:57.380 --> 00:29:02.079 some things that I was just coming to grips with 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:06.839 on the air as I was talking, right? And one of 00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:12.440 those things was The realization that my friendship 00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:17.720 with John Was always toxic. I Know y 'all are 00:29:17.720 --> 00:29:19.759 probably like you on John again. I have been 00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:23.200 dragging John lately, but it's not it's not personal, 00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:29.299 but I really when I was doing the episode last 00:29:29.299 --> 00:29:32.200 week I really dawned on me during that episode 00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:36.279 that he was like never really my friend. He just 00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:41.420 never was and That whole thing about, you know, 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:43.400 believe people when they reveal to you who they 00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:46.599 are. The first time he always presented himself 00:29:46.599 --> 00:29:50.539 as an adversary. From day one, he was one of 00:29:50.539 --> 00:29:55.579 my bullies. So. Even though he was posing as 00:29:55.579 --> 00:29:59.119 a friend, he was just. At best, a friend of me. 00:30:00.220 --> 00:30:02.599 You saw how quick he turned on me, betrayed me. 00:30:02.619 --> 00:30:05.299 It was that same school year he turned on me. 00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:11.289 And I guess. Back then I was so desperate for 00:30:11.289 --> 00:30:16.289 friendship and to be accepted By everybody and 00:30:16.289 --> 00:30:19.690 by the popular kids that I just went along with 00:30:19.690 --> 00:30:27.230 that fake friendship for 30 plus years Looking 00:30:27.230 --> 00:30:32.890 back John was always jealous of me even back 00:30:32.890 --> 00:30:36.230 when he was a bully and Talking crap about literally 00:30:36.230 --> 00:30:39.529 talking crap behind my back like literary literally 00:30:39.529 --> 00:30:44.009 There was something he must have saw in me that 00:30:44.009 --> 00:30:47.349 maybe I didn't even see For myself at the time, 00:30:47.349 --> 00:30:50.089 but there was something about me that made him 00:30:50.089 --> 00:30:56.529 feel small or Inferior or envious or something 00:30:56.529 --> 00:31:00.650 because like I mentioned before John was one 00:31:00.650 --> 00:31:05.519 of the most popular kids in the school And that's 00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:07.259 not the only thing he had going for him. I mean, 00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:09.619 John was handsome. He was always cute. He was 00:31:09.619 --> 00:31:12.500 always the handsome guy. I had to grow into my 00:31:12.500 --> 00:31:15.740 looks. But John was always a cute guy. The girls 00:31:15.740 --> 00:31:18.500 loved him. He was always tall. He was like one 00:31:18.500 --> 00:31:22.240 of the tallest guys in the class or in the school. 00:31:22.299 --> 00:31:24.880 So why would he feel intimidated by anything 00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:27.619 I had going on? I was scrawny. I was a nerdy 00:31:27.619 --> 00:31:31.380 kid. I looked exactly like Steve Urkel, acted 00:31:31.380 --> 00:31:34.569 like him too, because I was so awkward. Trying 00:31:34.569 --> 00:31:38.609 not to be awkward and in that In in trying not 00:31:38.609 --> 00:31:40.890 to be awkward. I was even more awkward. So I 00:31:40.890 --> 00:31:45.069 was just a mess you know just something simple 00:31:45.069 --> 00:31:47.609 as walking down the hallway in between classes 00:31:47.609 --> 00:31:51.589 was just Excruciating for me cuz like Andre watch 00:31:51.589 --> 00:31:54.269 how you walk don't walk to this don't walk to 00:31:54.269 --> 00:31:57.789 that You know I was just a mess all to keep people 00:31:57.789 --> 00:32:02.420 off me cuz back then if you did anything Just 00:32:02.420 --> 00:32:05.059 out of the ordinary god forbid you tripped up 00:32:05.059 --> 00:32:07.359 or god forbid you dropped your book or anything 00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:09.799 It was just on it was just gonna be on it's gonna 00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:13.480 be on you all day So I lived on edge in school 00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:16.059 trying to be perfect and not make any missteps 00:32:16.059 --> 00:32:18.619 because I didn't want everybody on me Don't start 00:32:18.619 --> 00:32:20.880 with that crap. You know, I'm just trying to 00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.839 get through the day. It was like a war zone but 00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:30.130 um But yeah, but whatever John had with me I 00:32:30.130 --> 00:32:32.049 think that's the reason why he fed me to the 00:32:32.049 --> 00:32:35.849 wolves in the lunchroom that day, and why he 00:32:35.849 --> 00:32:41.069 never kept any of my secrets, and why he refused 00:32:41.069 --> 00:32:43.910 to provide that character witness for me that 00:32:43.910 --> 00:32:46.410 I needed all those years ago. I was really relying 00:32:46.410 --> 00:32:49.210 on him for that. And it didn't even dawn on me 00:32:49.210 --> 00:32:52.170 that he would decline or say no. It was just 00:32:52.170 --> 00:32:54.690 like a no -brainer. It was the first name I gave 00:32:54.690 --> 00:32:58.220 to my attorney. So like I said, I was just dumbfounded. 00:32:58.660 --> 00:33:00.220 But you know, looking back on it, all of that 00:33:00.220 --> 00:33:05.279 was done intentionally to hurt me, to harm me. 00:33:06.019 --> 00:33:11.240 But it's OK. It's OK. We learn. We grow. We forgive. 00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:13.940 Always forgive the people who hurt you. I'm not 00:33:13.940 --> 00:33:16.339 mad or upset with John or whatever. I have been 00:33:16.339 --> 00:33:18.079 dragging him in the past couple of episodes. 00:33:18.220 --> 00:33:22.230 But it's all within context. for educational 00:33:22.230 --> 00:33:24.710 purposes, for educational purposes, and to use 00:33:24.710 --> 00:33:27.829 my life as an illustration to help you with your 00:33:27.829 --> 00:33:30.029 John. I'm not the only one with a John. Your 00:33:30.029 --> 00:33:32.369 John is probably worse than mine. And John is 00:33:32.369 --> 00:33:36.470 not a bad person. I don't want to demonize him. 00:33:36.470 --> 00:33:40.190 He just was not a good friend to me. That's all. 00:33:40.609 --> 00:33:42.069 And we're going to get off of John. I'm going 00:33:42.069 --> 00:33:44.690 to try not to mention him any more in this show, 00:33:44.710 --> 00:33:47.930 because I have been dragging this poor guy. OK, 00:33:47.930 --> 00:33:52.559 so anyway, I have this other friend. name Craig. 00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:56.059 And I don't know if Craig is listening or not, 00:33:56.700 --> 00:34:00.059 but honestly, I don't know what's going to come 00:34:00.059 --> 00:34:05.619 of that particular friendship. Craig and I have 00:34:05.619 --> 00:34:09.059 known each other for 10 years now. We met each 00:34:09.059 --> 00:34:15.280 other 10 years ago last month. And the reason 00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:18.619 why I remember that is because that's when I 00:34:18.619 --> 00:34:21.650 started my career with the federal government. 00:34:22.369 --> 00:34:28.570 It was May 2015. Craig was the facilitator in 00:34:28.570 --> 00:34:32.110 charge of new employee orientation for all federal 00:34:32.110 --> 00:34:34.489 employees. It was a requirement if you were an 00:34:34.489 --> 00:34:39.510 incoming civilian. And he introduced every speaker 00:34:39.510 --> 00:34:42.409 that addressed our group. He did the speaking 00:34:42.409 --> 00:34:45.289 between speakers. So he sort of facilitated the 00:34:45.289 --> 00:34:50.719 whole thing. Well, One of those speakers was 00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:53.719 supposed to be a woman from the base housing 00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:57.260 office. And I was particularly interested in 00:34:57.260 --> 00:35:02.360 her briefing because I was new to town. I remember 00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:05.639 I was staying in a hotel until I found an apartment 00:35:05.639 --> 00:35:10.019 or some type of permanent housing. Well, for 00:35:10.019 --> 00:35:12.800 whatever reason, the lady from the housing department 00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:16.039 who was supposed to speak at a particular time, 00:35:16.039 --> 00:35:19.460 she didn't show up. So Craig just went on to 00:35:19.460 --> 00:35:23.960 the next speaker and I'm panicking on the inside 00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:26.719 because I've been waiting all morning to hear 00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:28.280 what this lady has to say because I need to speak 00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:30.360 with her about getting on the wait list for housing 00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:33.500 and you know tell her my situation because at 00:35:33.500 --> 00:35:37.239 $91 a night I remember where I was paying the 00:35:37.239 --> 00:35:40.500 little money I had saved up It was just getting 00:35:40.500 --> 00:35:43.300 drained more and more every day, you know, so 00:35:43.300 --> 00:35:46.219 I'm antsy and I'm waiting I'm sitting through 00:35:46.219 --> 00:35:49.059 all these trainings and I'm watching Craig you 00:35:49.059 --> 00:35:51.760 know speak or whatever and you know I'm just 00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:54.159 waiting for the lunch break to come so I can 00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:56.139 speak with him because I'm going to go to him 00:35:56.139 --> 00:35:59.079 at the lunch break and ask him about this lady 00:35:59.079 --> 00:36:01.079 and you know is she coming to speak later on 00:36:01.079 --> 00:36:04.960 today or the next day or what but as I'm watching 00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:09.800 Craig speak I can't help but notice that he has 00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:14.539 this sadness in his eyes and I remember saying 00:36:14.539 --> 00:36:16.619 to myself, that man is going through something. 00:36:17.179 --> 00:36:18.420 I don't know what he's going through, but he's 00:36:18.420 --> 00:36:20.599 going through something. Something's weighing 00:36:20.599 --> 00:36:24.420 heavy on him. And I don't think anyone else could 00:36:24.420 --> 00:36:26.760 discern that, but I don't know, with me just 00:36:26.760 --> 00:36:30.159 being an empath or whatever, I just saw it. I 00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:32.139 don't know if anyone else saw it, but I saw it. 00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:34.940 So anyway, we finally get to lunch, and I introduce 00:36:34.940 --> 00:36:37.800 myself, and I give my whole spiel about, hey, 00:36:37.820 --> 00:36:39.679 I really need to talk to the lady from the housing 00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:41.619 office. Do you know if she's coming later today, 00:36:41.619 --> 00:36:45.969 tomorrow? And, you know, he was like, I don't 00:36:45.969 --> 00:36:48.210 know whether she's coming back to speak or not. 00:36:48.530 --> 00:36:50.949 Usually if a person shows up at, you know, or 00:36:50.949 --> 00:36:52.710 doesn't show up at their appointed time to brief, 00:36:52.789 --> 00:36:56.050 I just move on to the next speaker. And then 00:36:56.050 --> 00:36:58.710 he was like, you know, I tell you what, it's 00:36:58.710 --> 00:37:01.289 lunch. I'll take you over to their office. It's 00:37:01.289 --> 00:37:04.110 right up the street. You can follow me on my 00:37:04.110 --> 00:37:06.710 bike. I'll take you there. He was driving his 00:37:06.710 --> 00:37:10.610 motorcycle at the time. So I'm super grateful 00:37:10.610 --> 00:37:13.090 for his help. I follow him over there. He takes 00:37:13.090 --> 00:37:16.429 me into the office. He tells the people my situation 00:37:16.429 --> 00:37:19.190 and who I'm here to speak to and all of that. 00:37:19.590 --> 00:37:22.030 Turns out the person that I needed to speak to 00:37:22.030 --> 00:37:27.170 was out of the office. They didn't know when 00:37:27.170 --> 00:37:30.250 the person would return. And it wasn't a little 00:37:30.250 --> 00:37:31.829 thing like if she was at lunch and she would 00:37:31.829 --> 00:37:33.530 be back at such and such time. She had been out 00:37:33.530 --> 00:37:35.010 of the office for, I guess, a couple of days. 00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:38.869 You know, um, I guess Craig felt sorry for me. 00:37:38.869 --> 00:37:41.829 We went back out to my car and his bike and he 00:37:41.829 --> 00:37:46.849 was like, Hey, uh, look, man, um, uh, you know, 00:37:46.949 --> 00:37:48.889 I know your situation. You told me you knew in 00:37:48.889 --> 00:37:52.349 town, you stay in the hotel. He said, look, I 00:37:52.349 --> 00:37:55.710 got a three bedroom, you know, duplex or whatever. 00:37:56.449 --> 00:37:59.409 It's just me. He said, you're more than welcome 00:37:59.409 --> 00:38:01.949 to take one of the rooms and stay there until 00:38:01.949 --> 00:38:05.429 you, um, can find your place, you know, more. 00:38:05.599 --> 00:38:07.559 stable or whatever. He wasn't even going to charge 00:38:07.559 --> 00:38:10.699 me anything. He just wanted to get me out the 00:38:10.699 --> 00:38:14.320 hotel and just give me some place to stay where 00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:15.760 I didn't have to worry about paying a whole bunch 00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:18.039 of money until I found my own apartment or whatever. 00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:20.780 So I was like, yeah, that sounds cool or whatever. 00:38:21.079 --> 00:38:24.320 So we went straight from there to his place. 00:38:24.699 --> 00:38:26.280 And he showed me the place. He was like, hey, 00:38:26.360 --> 00:38:28.639 this is my spot, blah, blah, blah, blah. And 00:38:28.639 --> 00:38:30.460 like I said, you're more than welcome. Don't 00:38:30.460 --> 00:38:33.139 worry about paying anything. I think it was early 00:38:33.139 --> 00:38:35.980 in the month. So yeah, he's gonna let me stay 00:38:35.980 --> 00:38:37.719 there to the end of the month or whatever. He 00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:40.179 said, you need to stay longer. We'll talk about 00:38:40.179 --> 00:38:42.280 maybe some payment arrangements or whatever. 00:38:42.340 --> 00:38:44.820 But he said, for now, just feel free to stay 00:38:44.820 --> 00:38:46.619 for the rest of the month until you find something. 00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:53.659 I'm like, okay, bet. So I move in and we just 00:38:53.659 --> 00:38:57.559 click. We click and we just become fast friends. 00:38:58.559 --> 00:39:02.230 That sad look. in his eyes that I was telling 00:39:02.230 --> 00:39:05.250 you about before, it turns out that he was going 00:39:05.250 --> 00:39:07.710 through a divorce. He was at the beginning stages 00:39:07.710 --> 00:39:11.110 of going through a divorce. And he was separated 00:39:11.110 --> 00:39:14.210 from his wife, his two kids, I think were teenagers 00:39:14.210 --> 00:39:18.510 at the time, young teenagers. And during that 00:39:18.510 --> 00:39:20.309 interim period where they were separated and 00:39:20.309 --> 00:39:23.989 going through a divorce, he moved out and was 00:39:23.989 --> 00:39:27.289 just extremely sad. Loved his family, but obviously 00:39:27.289 --> 00:39:30.420 made some mistakes. you know, the wife took all 00:39:30.420 --> 00:39:32.639 she could take and was, you know, just gonna 00:39:32.639 --> 00:39:36.219 move on with her life. And that's what that sadness 00:39:36.219 --> 00:39:38.679 was. I knew it was something, but all of that 00:39:38.679 --> 00:39:42.039 came out, you know, in the weeks and as you spend 00:39:42.039 --> 00:39:45.199 time with people and learn to learn more about 00:39:45.199 --> 00:39:47.440 them, we're learning more about each other. And 00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:49.639 so that's the heaviness that he was carrying. 00:39:50.460 --> 00:39:54.519 And he was just perpetually sad during that time. 00:39:54.909 --> 00:39:57.130 You know, he cracked jokes here and there, but 00:39:57.130 --> 00:40:00.550 he was just wearing this heaviness. So I guess 00:40:00.550 --> 00:40:03.130 long story short, Craig and I became like really 00:40:03.130 --> 00:40:07.429 close friends, like brother -type friends. And 00:40:07.429 --> 00:40:11.489 we got into cycling. He got me into getting my 00:40:11.489 --> 00:40:13.889 first motorcycle. I learned how to ride a motorcycle. 00:40:13.929 --> 00:40:18.210 He taught me that. He introduced me to camping 00:40:18.210 --> 00:40:20.730 and hiking and different little things. He was 00:40:20.730 --> 00:40:23.230 doing all of these activities to keep his mind 00:40:23.230 --> 00:40:26.460 off of his family. and off of the divorce and 00:40:26.460 --> 00:40:29.159 all the stuff he was going through. And looking 00:40:29.159 --> 00:40:31.000 back, that's what he was doing at the time. I 00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:33.360 just thought, you know, oh, this guy's cool. 00:40:33.460 --> 00:40:35.559 He's into this. He's into that. But he was just 00:40:35.559 --> 00:40:38.440 trying to keep his mind occupied. And I can see 00:40:38.440 --> 00:40:43.639 that now. And we just developed a bond and became 00:40:43.639 --> 00:40:47.880 really, really close. And so Craig's like family. 00:40:50.840 --> 00:40:54.079 Over the years... You know, we continue to stay 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:57.500 in contact and stay close. We're always close. 00:40:58.739 --> 00:41:01.420 I think we started to drift a little bit once 00:41:01.420 --> 00:41:04.519 I started going on these tours to like Saudi 00:41:04.519 --> 00:41:06.539 and moving to these different bases and things 00:41:06.539 --> 00:41:10.000 like that. The distance kind of put a little 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:13.480 bit of a strain, but we were still, you know, 00:41:13.579 --> 00:41:18.340 keeping contact. But I think the first break 00:41:18.340 --> 00:41:21.260 that we had in terms of because we never had 00:41:21.260 --> 00:41:23.719 an argument. To this day, we never had an argument, 00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:26.460 but I think the first little fracture in our 00:41:26.460 --> 00:41:30.119 friendship was when that woman, when he started 00:41:30.119 --> 00:41:32.639 dating that woman. And I talked about her in 00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:34.699 one of my other rants. I think it was the very 00:41:34.699 --> 00:41:39.579 first rant episode I did. When she came into 00:41:39.579 --> 00:41:41.820 his life, that's when things started to take 00:41:41.820 --> 00:41:45.519 a turn. We all got along at first. We all hung 00:41:45.519 --> 00:41:48.980 out, and I was the third wheel for the longest, 00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:52.940 and it was never a problem. And then at some 00:41:52.940 --> 00:42:00.300 point he, well, me and his girlfriend had some 00:42:00.300 --> 00:42:03.559 type of disagreement, a petty stupid disagreement 00:42:03.559 --> 00:42:07.699 at that. And just was never able to recover from 00:42:07.699 --> 00:42:11.559 it. And some kind of way Craig and I were able 00:42:11.559 --> 00:42:16.800 to still keep our friendship intact. But it came 00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:20.920 to a point where I just... didn't f with her 00:42:20.920 --> 00:42:23.480 anymore like I didn't want to be if she was around 00:42:23.480 --> 00:42:25.820 I'm not gonna be around because I'm seeing that 00:42:25.820 --> 00:42:29.199 this person is just not I can't speak for where 00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:32.880 she is now but she went through a really tough 00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:35.059 spot where she was really difficult and very 00:42:35.059 --> 00:42:39.659 nasty just very nasty and I'm like are you with 00:42:39.659 --> 00:42:44.889 this woman and And so I fell out with the girlfriend. 00:42:45.110 --> 00:42:47.789 It always sucks when your best friend has a girlfriend 00:42:47.789 --> 00:42:49.889 that you don't get along. That sucks. If anybody 00:42:49.889 --> 00:42:52.889 has ever had to deal with that dynamic, it just 00:42:52.889 --> 00:42:55.530 sucks. But some kind of way Craig and I were 00:42:55.530 --> 00:42:57.809 able to navigate it as best we could until it 00:42:57.809 --> 00:43:00.949 got to the point to where, look, I'm not going 00:43:00.949 --> 00:43:04.309 to be over here anymore. All this third wheeling 00:43:04.309 --> 00:43:06.989 and throw a fool and hanging out, all of that's 00:43:06.989 --> 00:43:10.030 just done. I cannot be around this woman. I understand 00:43:10.030 --> 00:43:13.420 y 'all are dating or whatever. I'll hang with 00:43:13.420 --> 00:43:16.199 you when I can, but I can't do her. I just can't 00:43:16.199 --> 00:43:20.760 do her. And you know, so that really, that plus 00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:22.760 the distance and going back and forth to Saudi 00:43:22.760 --> 00:43:25.860 and these other places, that kind of just put 00:43:25.860 --> 00:43:30.239 us in a weird spot. And we weren't as close, 00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:32.500 we were still cool, but we weren't as close as 00:43:32.500 --> 00:43:38.360 we used to be. And then so fast forward a couple 00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:44.039 of years, I come back from Saudi. And he's just 00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:47.659 a straight out atheist now, and has been for 00:43:47.659 --> 00:43:52.840 like three plus years. And I grew, not gonna 00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:56.360 say I grew up with, but I'm used to the Craig 00:43:56.360 --> 00:43:59.460 that was preaching the Bible, and we talk about 00:43:59.460 --> 00:44:02.139 scriptures, and he was like a spiritual sort 00:44:02.139 --> 00:44:05.199 of mentor. You know, he used to be a pastor. 00:44:06.309 --> 00:44:09.150 so when I come back from Saudi and he's like 00:44:09.150 --> 00:44:13.869 full -blown atheist it was just at first I thought 00:44:13.869 --> 00:44:16.289 it was like maybe a joke or a phase or something 00:44:16.289 --> 00:44:18.730 like that and you know because he goes through 00:44:18.730 --> 00:44:21.349 different little phases and stuff and so I thought 00:44:21.349 --> 00:44:24.829 maybe the atheist stuff was just a phase no he 00:44:24.829 --> 00:44:27.690 went full throttle and it got worse and worse 00:44:27.690 --> 00:44:31.869 and worse in terms of the rhetoric and he's not 00:44:33.030 --> 00:44:35.610 quiet atheist. He's not one of those atheists 00:44:35.610 --> 00:44:38.650 that's just going to allow you to still believe 00:44:38.650 --> 00:44:42.969 in God and have your belief. He actively tries 00:44:42.969 --> 00:44:47.489 to pull people away from God and their belief 00:44:47.489 --> 00:44:51.889 and to really fervently tell them that what they're 00:44:51.889 --> 00:44:54.710 believing in is a lie and none of this stuff 00:44:54.710 --> 00:45:00.550 is real and just you know very intense and so 00:45:00.599 --> 00:45:02.599 I'm the type of person I can you don't have to 00:45:02.599 --> 00:45:05.519 have it helps if you have the same belief system 00:45:05.519 --> 00:45:09.920 as I do in terms of the friendship. I can let 00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:13.599 you have your belief, but when you are like coming 00:45:13.599 --> 00:45:17.480 at me like, no, this is you still on that Jesus 00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:21.460 crap and da da da da that type of vibe and it 00:45:21.460 --> 00:45:26.539 is. I saw where it had the potential to take 00:45:26.539 --> 00:45:31.159 a combative turn. And rather than let it get 00:45:31.159 --> 00:45:34.679 to that point, I just sort of backed away. And 00:45:34.679 --> 00:45:37.059 maybe instead of checking in twice a week, it 00:45:37.059 --> 00:45:40.800 was just one. And now we're at the point to where 00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:46.760 I've been in Puerto Rico for, what, since the 00:45:46.760 --> 00:45:50.719 middle of March, near the end of March, and I've 00:45:50.719 --> 00:45:56.400 spoken to Craig maybe once. So I don't know where 00:45:56.400 --> 00:46:01.010 that friendship fans, um, I don't want to write 00:46:01.010 --> 00:46:04.690 him off. I don't want to do that because I don't 00:46:04.690 --> 00:46:07.469 think he would write me off. You know, I'm not 00:46:07.469 --> 00:46:12.469 perfect. Um, but it's very hard for me and my 00:46:12.469 --> 00:46:18.710 spiritual walk where I am to be really close 00:46:18.710 --> 00:46:23.289 and chummy and just buddy buddy with a full blown 00:46:23.289 --> 00:46:28.869 atheist who was very vocal. and proud of his 00:46:28.869 --> 00:46:32.349 atheism. So it's just that's one of those friendships 00:46:32.349 --> 00:46:34.949 where I don't know what to do. I prayed about 00:46:34.949 --> 00:46:41.869 it. I love Craig, but I just between the atheist 00:46:41.869 --> 00:46:47.269 stuff and that girl, I can't. So I'm going to 00:46:47.269 --> 00:46:52.150 do what I can to keep that relationship and friendship. 00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:55.380 Alive as best I can given this new distance that 00:46:55.380 --> 00:46:57.659 we have where he's in Warner Robbins, and I'm 00:46:57.659 --> 00:47:05.900 in Puerto Rico But I don't know I That's a difficult 00:47:05.900 --> 00:47:08.739 one for me because like I said, I love Craig 00:47:08.739 --> 00:47:14.260 a lot and And he's even met Renata My friend 00:47:14.260 --> 00:47:17.559 Renata who is the reason why I have this show 00:47:17.559 --> 00:47:20.280 and I have a picture and I'm gonna print it out 00:47:20.280 --> 00:47:23.570 and put it somewhere but I have a picture of 00:47:23.570 --> 00:47:27.530 Craig and Renata together at one of Renata's 00:47:27.530 --> 00:47:30.889 book signings. And so to have a picture with 00:47:30.889 --> 00:47:34.389 two of my closest friends pictured together like 00:47:34.389 --> 00:47:36.110 that, and they're not necessarily friends, but 00:47:36.110 --> 00:47:38.489 they've met each other and like each other, I 00:47:38.489 --> 00:47:40.230 think I need to print that out and put that up 00:47:40.230 --> 00:47:43.369 somewhere. I don't know what made me just think 00:47:43.369 --> 00:47:45.789 about that picture. But yeah, I'm going to have 00:47:45.789 --> 00:47:50.679 to just keep you guys updated on The Craig situation, 00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:54.500 I think. Very soon after this broadcast, I'm 00:47:54.500 --> 00:47:56.079 going to reach out to him. I don't know if he 00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:58.880 still tunes into the show or what have you, but. 00:48:00.500 --> 00:48:03.239 I'm going to try. I'm going to try and if it 00:48:03.239 --> 00:48:05.780 gets to the point to where it just no longer 00:48:05.780 --> 00:48:09.420 seems to be feasible, which I don't think is 00:48:09.420 --> 00:48:11.000 at that point, because there's a lot of love 00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:13.159 there. I don't know. I just have to keep you 00:48:13.159 --> 00:48:17.619 updated. I just have to keep you updated. I'm 00:48:17.619 --> 00:48:19.320 looking through my topics here to see what else 00:48:19.320 --> 00:48:23.300 I wanted to rant about. We got a little bit more 00:48:23.300 --> 00:48:28.440 time left. We talked about the mental health 00:48:28.440 --> 00:48:31.559 episode. We talked about Craig. You know, I have 00:48:31.559 --> 00:48:33.940 another childhood friend, too. We talked about 00:48:33.940 --> 00:48:37.500 John. I've dragged John enough. I have another 00:48:37.500 --> 00:48:41.360 childhood friend named Jerome, and he was sort 00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:44.760 of like my other best friend growing up. And 00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:47.400 we haven't spoken in a while. There's a bit of 00:48:47.400 --> 00:48:51.619 a rift there. So I need to figure out what I'm 00:48:51.619 --> 00:48:54.739 doing with that relationship. And that was an 00:48:54.739 --> 00:49:00.760 interesting one because I'm his daughter's godparent. 00:49:01.619 --> 00:49:04.969 But on their side, So I'm the person, I'm the 00:49:04.969 --> 00:49:07.269 reach out person. I'm always the one that's reaching 00:49:07.269 --> 00:49:09.469 out. Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. 00:49:09.489 --> 00:49:11.570 What's going on? Everything good? Hey, how's 00:49:11.570 --> 00:49:13.889 my goddaughter? And I would send her messages 00:49:13.889 --> 00:49:17.710 and stuff like that. I don't get anything back 00:49:17.710 --> 00:49:21.010 in return. You know, and that's frustrating for 00:49:21.010 --> 00:49:23.590 me. I don't want to, where I'm at now, I don't 00:49:23.590 --> 00:49:25.489 want to continue with friendships like that. 00:49:25.650 --> 00:49:28.150 If I got to be the one always reaching out, it's 00:49:28.150 --> 00:49:31.179 not fair. You know, you have all of my addresses. 00:49:31.260 --> 00:49:34.900 You have my contact information. Reach out to 00:49:34.900 --> 00:49:39.679 me sometimes. You know, have Rosalia send me 00:49:39.679 --> 00:49:43.139 a letter or something, or send me a video message 00:49:43.139 --> 00:49:46.079 saying hello, or happy birthday, or go to hell, 00:49:46.179 --> 00:49:50.579 or something. You know, and so I hate to just 00:49:50.579 --> 00:49:52.179 throw that friendship away, especially since 00:49:52.179 --> 00:49:56.570 it's connected to my goddaughter, but... I'm 00:49:56.570 --> 00:49:59.550 just, I don't have the energy to be the one constantly 00:49:59.550 --> 00:50:02.869 reaching out and don't get anything back in return. 00:50:03.389 --> 00:50:06.110 I'm just so over that. That's not a real true 00:50:06.110 --> 00:50:09.809 friendship. And I know every friendship is nuanced 00:50:09.809 --> 00:50:12.170 and everyone's different and has their own way 00:50:12.170 --> 00:50:14.510 of communicating. I'm talking about just basic 00:50:14.510 --> 00:50:18.710 communication here. Don't, if you're friends 00:50:18.710 --> 00:50:20.329 with someone, if you have a friendship that you 00:50:20.329 --> 00:50:23.460 care about, don't... always put it on the other 00:50:23.460 --> 00:50:25.900 person to be the one to check in and reach out. 00:50:25.900 --> 00:50:28.519 Eventually that gets old and they may do it for 00:50:28.519 --> 00:50:33.119 years, maybe even decades, but do something to 00:50:33.119 --> 00:50:38.639 meet that person halfway. So where I am in my 00:50:38.639 --> 00:50:42.920 life now, I have a small circle of friends, a 00:50:42.920 --> 00:50:45.780 handful of people that I call a friend. Back 00:50:45.780 --> 00:50:48.340 when I was younger and you guys, I've shared 00:50:48.340 --> 00:50:50.119 enough to where you already know the psychology 00:50:50.119 --> 00:50:52.889 behind that, but. I used to think the more friends 00:50:52.889 --> 00:50:55.889 I had, the more popular I was. I just wanted 00:50:55.889 --> 00:50:57.969 to have friends all around. This friend, that 00:50:57.969 --> 00:51:00.070 friend. I got friends in this state. I don't 00:51:00.070 --> 00:51:03.750 care about that stuff anymore. If I can't count 00:51:03.750 --> 00:51:07.710 on you to come help me move, if I can't count 00:51:07.710 --> 00:51:10.269 on you to call and check up on me after you know 00:51:10.269 --> 00:51:14.429 I lost my mom, after you know I just got out 00:51:14.429 --> 00:51:19.900 of a debilitating breakup, or just common courtesy 00:51:19.900 --> 00:51:21.940 to say, hey, hello. I haven't heard from you. 00:51:21.940 --> 00:51:23.760 You doing all right? Where are you at now? Are 00:51:23.760 --> 00:51:26.199 you in the States? Where are you? Have you gone 00:51:26.199 --> 00:51:29.820 to hell yet? I mean, just anything. Give me something. 00:51:29.920 --> 00:51:32.139 I'll take anything. But just don't put it on 00:51:32.139 --> 00:51:34.980 me to always be that person to reach out, because 00:51:34.980 --> 00:51:38.199 I'm not him anymore. I'm not doing that. I'll 00:51:38.199 --> 00:51:42.139 leave the door open if you want to contact me. 00:51:42.780 --> 00:51:45.000 But Mr. Reach Out All the Time, all of that, 00:51:45.119 --> 00:51:47.500 I'm done with it. I'm not doing it. I got too 00:51:47.500 --> 00:51:49.099 much other stuff I want to do. I'm at a different 00:51:49.099 --> 00:51:54.019 phase in my life right now. I want peace. And 00:51:54.019 --> 00:51:56.820 I'm not going to be fighting to be anybody's 00:51:56.820 --> 00:52:01.480 friend, you know? So that's just where I am with 00:52:01.480 --> 00:52:05.800 all of that. I think that's a good place to leave 00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:08.380 it for tonight. I pretty much talked about all 00:52:08.380 --> 00:52:09.840 the stuff that I wanted to talk about. I just 00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:11.900 wanted to have a little bit of fun, have a little 00:52:11.900 --> 00:52:16.469 bit of... conversation that wasn't so uptight. 00:52:17.070 --> 00:52:20.530 So I've enjoyed this. I hope you guys have as 00:52:20.530 --> 00:52:25.170 well. Whether we're talking about toxic friendships, 00:52:25.610 --> 00:52:29.829 emotional boundaries, pay pigs, one of these 00:52:29.829 --> 00:52:31.550 pay pigs are going to send me some money. I don't 00:52:31.550 --> 00:52:33.730 know who it is. Somebody's going to send me a 00:52:33.730 --> 00:52:37.150 random cash app. I just feel it. It may take 00:52:37.150 --> 00:52:38.710 months from now. Somebody's going to send it. 00:52:38.710 --> 00:52:41.460 I'm going to update you guys on it. But, uh, 00:52:41.460 --> 00:52:42.820 regardless of what we're talking about, the goal 00:52:42.820 --> 00:52:44.880 is all the same. It's just to tell the truth, 00:52:45.179 --> 00:52:48.199 to feel it fully, and just to take whatever you 00:52:48.199 --> 00:52:50.940 learn and do something with it. All right? If 00:52:50.940 --> 00:52:52.599 you want to catch the replays of this show, you 00:52:52.599 --> 00:52:56.119 can go to artistsfirst .com and check out some 00:52:56.119 --> 00:52:58.440 of our other shows while you're at it. We have 00:52:58.440 --> 00:53:01.659 a lot of awesome shows on this network. Relevant 00:53:01.659 --> 00:53:04.119 Rhythm Renato being one of my favorites. next 00:53:04.119 --> 00:53:07.139 to mine. But you can catch the replay here, artistfirst 00:53:07.139 --> 00:53:11.119 .com, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube. Don't forget 00:53:11.119 --> 00:53:13.300 to grab your copy of my new book, Not Just a 00:53:13.300 --> 00:53:16.280 Diploma. Like I said, it's more than advice for 00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:18.519 graduates. It's sort of like a survival guide 00:53:18.519 --> 00:53:21.679 for life after all the applause and the fanfare. 00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:26.219 And listen, if protecting your piece means changing 00:53:26.219 --> 00:53:28.760 your number or walking away from people that 00:53:28.760 --> 00:53:32.699 you've outgrown or saying no, and saying it full 00:53:32.699 --> 00:53:35.059 throat it with your whole chest then you know 00:53:35.059 --> 00:53:38.320 so be it all right i've enjoyed you guys i hope 00:53:38.320 --> 00:53:40.920 you have too i'm dr andre jerry this is live 00:53:40.920 --> 00:53:43.699 with dr andre jerry and i'll catch you next wednesday 00:53:43.699 --> 00:53:46.900 at 6 p .m eastern same time same truth right 00:53:46.900 --> 00:53:49.320 here on the artist first radio network until 00:53:49.320 --> 00:53:53.079 then stay grounded stay growing and stay out 00:53:53.079 --> 00:53:56.300 of group chats that drain your spirit all right 00:53:56.300 --> 00:54:06.050 good night everybody peace Thanks for watching!