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Dr. Jerry

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Hello everybody and welcome to a brand new episode of live with dr. Andre

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Hey, we're broadcasting live from San Juan Puerto Rico where I'm spending the Thanksgiving holiday

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So happy Thanksgiving to everyone

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Really honored and grateful that you have decided to tune in you can be doing a thousand other things

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Right now. So thank you for supporting the show and for supporting the artist first radio network

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okay, so

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this show

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We started back in August of

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2022 and now here we are about a month away from 2025 so time definitely

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There's not way on anyone. I don't take any of this for granted

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It's truly been a blessing to grow this platform over the years and expand our audience

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Remain relevant and consistently rank among some of the most popular shows on the artist first radio network alongside some of my

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contemporaries

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Rick McCormick, Josh Hubert and

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And Renato Morgan

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So I'm in great company here

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And I'm honored to be a part of the roster of radio shows here

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audience artist first and I certainly look forward to continuing to offer

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content that's meaningful and

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value added to your lives in 2025

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Alright, so with that said it's great to be back. I

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Took a brief hiatus last month

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You know during our last episode I talked about how I was in the process of changing jobs and relocating to another state

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So that's kind of what's been keeping me super busy this past month

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So apologies for keeping you guys hanging in October. It's been a big transition

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You know relocating from Georgia all the way to Ohio and you know all the logistics that go into an

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Interstate move I can imagine making this type of transition with a family and kids

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I don't know how people do it, you know, it's a lot picking up and relocating. It's really not for the faint of heart

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You know, no get me wrong. It can be exciting and re-envigorating and all of that

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but it really can take a lot out of you and

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You know, I didn't really think about this until recently, but this is my

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seventh move in seven years

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Isn't that crazy?

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so

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like in the last in the last seven years I've moved from

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Georgia to Puerto Rico

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from Puerto Rico to Georgia

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From Georgia to Saudi Arabia

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Then from Saudi Arabia to Boston from Boston back to Saudi Arabia

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And then from Saudi Arabia back to Georgia and then now my latest move is from Georgia to Ohio

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so

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I'm exhausted

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But I'm gonna try my best to stay put at least for the you know next two years and I always say that I know I know

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I always say that and then a year later. I'm somewhere else, but we'll see how things go. I seem to have

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um landed in a pretty good spot as it relates to my job and my new organization

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But remember what I told you guys on the last episode

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These jobs do not love you. Okay, they don't love you

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So whether you have a good supervisor or not a good team or not or whether you enjoy what you're doing or you don't enjoy it

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Always have your resume locked and loaded

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Have it ready to go and always operate in your best interest

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because I can assure you the company you work for they're operating in their best interest, okay and

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They will make whatever decisions that need to be made. So I want you to do the same

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you know, I try to tell my nephew this but I don't think he heard me though and

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You know, I have a unique vantage point when compared to others. I realized that but

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This was always my philosophy like even when I didn't have shit. This was my philosophy. I remember

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when I used to work in a call center at Affleck and

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Back then all I had was a diploma in accounting and management from my local community college

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but if you guys remember how call centers were back in the day and

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I'm sure it's a lot different now

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But they were strict

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Like they were like little wet shops. You could hardly go to the like bathroom or take breaks. Um

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They were very strict about time constraints or when you could take lunch and you know, everything, you know

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had to be meticulously coordinated in terms of

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Scheduling and you can forget trying to take a day off. But yeah, it was very strict

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They had to make sure that there were enough agents available

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At any given time to service the calls in queue. So it was a very stringent environment and

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People were

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Afraid to call out or take PTO or what have you I remember

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one of my colleagues at the time was

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She was all stressed out because she needed to take a Thursday off to do something with her daughter

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I don't know if it was a doctor's appointment or

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Something with school, but she was afraid to ask our supervisor for the day off and

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I was like forget all of that. I said tell her you have something to do on Thursday and then she was like, oh, you know, I can't

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They don't like for us to take Thursdays off because you know, that's our high call volume day

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And I was like, I wouldn't give a damn if we got a million calls on Thursday

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If you don't go until they won't you got something to do on Thursday, you know

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So that type of stuff always bothered me because you shouldn't allow someone or a company to instill that level of fear in you

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Or make you feel as though you don't have control over your schedule

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Because they give you PTO for a reason and like I mentioned on the last show you're not obligated to disclose

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Why you need time off?

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So I told her I said I said the problem with you is that you feel like you have to ask permission

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So I was like hold on one second. I put my phone in ox. I took off my headset and

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I walked over to my supervisor's cubicle, which was just a couple of cubicles down

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I was like, hey, I'm gonna take PTO on Thursday. I got some personal stuff. I got to take care of and

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She was like, okay. No problem. Just make sure you put your request in and update the calendar

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You know, it was just like that. There was no pushback. There were no questions. There were no

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Comments about Thursday being one of our busiest days because I set the tone. I set the tone by

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Telling her I'm taking PTO not asking for permission to take PTO and

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And so like I said, this was just my posture back then when you know

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The only thing I had back then going for me was a couple of diplomas and an attitude

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So you think at 45 years old with multiple degrees

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Adopter it and all of this international work experience I had I'm gonna be afraid to ask for time off when I need it

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No

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You know, that's definitely the wrong answer. So, you know to my earlier point

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Don't let these jobs or any of these supervisors rob you of your dignity or your autonomy as a human being

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You know stand up for yourself and

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Demand the level of respect that you deserve. Okay

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Now I can just hear someone a month from now like dr. Andre. You're your advice got me fine

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Your advice got me fired. Hey, listen, I'm not

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Advocating for anybody to go cuss out your supervisor. It's not what I'm advocating here

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Give respect where respect is due

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But you may want to consider changing your posture, you know, if you're one of these people who are shy or you may be hesitant about

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Requesting time off, you know, so just just think about that. Okay enough preaching on that topic

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All right, so listen, we've got a great show in store for you tonight

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2024 is quickly coming to a close. It's coming to an end and we are on the heels of a brand new year

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2025 and that means that now is the perfect time to start thinking about what we want to achieve next year

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What new habits we need to start developing now to be able to achieve those goals and be able to sustain that lifestyle

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And those new goals, okay, and then also which bad habits we want to leave behind in 2024

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So for that end tonight, we're going to be talking about how to unlock your best life

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10 power moves you can make today. This is not some stuff I found on the Internet. This is stuff that I actually put together and have

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Worked on over the years and so I'm just sharing it with you today. Okay, and a great thing about these 10 power moves is that

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They're practical and their common sense moves that anybody can make, you know, they don't cost you any money and

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You can literally get started today and start to make significant improvements to your life starting tomorrow

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Which is going to give you a head start starting into 2025 is going to put you in a power position. Okay?

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Does that sound good? Y'all ready to get started? Okay. All right. Let's get started.

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All right, let's go. So I'm going to give a disclaimer first. All right. Got to give you a disclaimer the advice

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I'm about to give is not for everybody

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All right, if you're fine with how your life is going right now and the current trajectory you're on then that's fine

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You know a lot of this is not going to

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Land with you in a way that it would if you're you know, just satisfied with your life

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And ready to make some changes, but if you're not quite in that mental space to do the work

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Then this is just not going to make a lot of sense. Okay

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But if you're thinking about this past year or past couple of years and you kind of feel like you're stuck or like you're on a

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Treadmill going nowhere or you're just unhappy with your life

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And you kind of want to manifest something different and more positive in the coming year

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Then this is definitely your episode and you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now because I'm speaking directly to you

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alright, so

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Grab something to drink

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The glass of wine or something jot get get something to jot some notes down and we're gonna go ahead and get started. All right

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So, okay tonight. We're gonna cover 10 power moves to unlock your best life

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now of these 10 power moves the first four or

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Or what I consider to be the most fundamental because they're all a form of detox

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And don't worry. I'm not gonna ask anybody to go on a diet or fast or anything like that

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but a form of detox is absolutely going to be critical to your success

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in this coming year because in order to consistently

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Attract good things and positive things into your life. You're gonna have to eliminate as much negativity as possible

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Okay, there's just no way around that

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So here we go

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power move number one

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So the first the first thing I'm gonna ask you to do is to stop watching the news

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local news

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national news

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world news I

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know that may sound counterintuitive because

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You know society has conditioned us in a way to believe that

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Responsible adults care about what's going on in our neighborhoods and I you know in the world and our communities and therefore

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We watch the news every day, you know, so we know what's going on

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Let me tell you something

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news programs

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Actually most television programs in general but particularly news programs are some of the most

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negative

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Oxygen stuff you can ingest

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Okay, I will put it right up there with pornography in terms of how destructive it can be

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Just take a moment and think about

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How news programs invite you to meditate on fear

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fear is that you otherwise wouldn't even have

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unless an idea or a program was introduced to you and

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I'm not saying that everything you hear or see on the news is negative or untrue

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But what I am saying is that it's often sensationalized more than it needs to be

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And consider this there may be a thousand different things

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That happened in your community today that were beautiful and positive

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People get married new babies being born people clothes on their first house

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Maybe a minority entrepreneur won a huge contract with the city

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New lawyers passing the bar or somebody finally paid off their house made their last house payment on their mortgage

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But you probably won't hear any of that on the news

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But you know what you will hear

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Prime rate is up

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Interest rate skyrocketing

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People losing their homes short is a job

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Bloods over here, hurricanes over there

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So and so got killed just down the streets

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Or whatever dumb shit the president elect says he want to do his second term or some idiotic appointment

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He's made to his cabinet

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So it's no wonder why people are so afraid and paranoid and

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Fearful of each other, you know, we're basically locked in our you know our homes and we're afraid to venture out

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We're afraid to talk about what's going on

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And we're afraid to venture out. We're afraid to talk to people

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So I'm not going to be labeled a point if you get it you get it

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But it would really behoove you especially if you're really serious about unlocking your best life

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To stop watching the news or at the very least

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Significantly reduce your intake of it

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And trust me the really important stuff it will still make its way to you

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Trust me by way of co-workers neighbors family and

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Those major headlines that just can't be avoided. So you're not going to be in the dark

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You're not going to be in the dark. Okay. I stopped watching news over a decade ago

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Now I still watch political news, you know, especially if it was an election year like we just had because I enjoyed politics

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but after

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after this last election I

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Decided to just disconnect from the news all together even the political stuff

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It's just too toxic. It's too toxic. It's too dark

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So I'm choosing not to participate in any of that or engage of any of that

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I'm not interested in the president elect or any of his projects or plans for the country

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Whatever he's gonna do is just what it is

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This is what the majority of the people want it

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You know and vote it for so everyone is just gonna get what they get

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But as for me and my household, we're gonna continue to serve Jehovah

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We're gonna continue to focus on positive things

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Okay, that move our lives forward as best we can

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So

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So, yeah, I strongly encourage you to limit

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Reduce or eliminate your consumption of the news. It doesn't have to be forever. It can just be for an interim period

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You know why you're detoxing from all this negativity and infusing your mind with positive thoughts. Okay?

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All right on to power move number two

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The next thing I want you to detox from is social media

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Okay, listen, I know this one is kind of a difficult one. Okay, but we're talking about changing and improving your lives here

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You know, this is not supposed to be an easy process. That's why I call it power moves

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Okay, social media in and of itself is not bad

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And you know, if it's used effectively, it can be a powerful

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tool to promote

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positivity and effect change on a global scale, right?

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But on the flip side of the coin

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It can be a very disruptive

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psychologically damaging and

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Huge distraction for our lives

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Let me ask you this. How many of you guys ever take a look at the screen time reports on your phone?

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I used to never really pay attention to them. I would just kind of say

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I never really pay attention to them. I would just kind of scroll past it

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But one day I clicked on it and I was astonished at my screen time

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Like in one day it showed that I had spent a total of five. No, 4.5 hours

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Just on Instagram

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4.5 hours on Instagram in one day

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And when I dive deeper into the screen time data, I noticed that it wasn't just that day. It was a trend

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And that's when I realized just how much of my time

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Which is the most precious resource we have right time

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Just how much time I was spending on social media

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And you know, it would be one thing if I was profiting off of my social media like

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Millions of people are doing I'm not there yet

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But you know that wasn't the case for me. It was just kind of mindless scrolling

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Of just random stuff with no

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Stuff that had no real value

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You know, there might be a few inspirational or aspirational posts or something

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But it was nothing that was going to

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00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,000
Substantively

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00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,160
Help to move my life forward in any meaningful way

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00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,040
So I was like, no, no

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I'm not about to give up any more of my precious time

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On these apps, especially if I'm not getting paid

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00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,360
Right? Instagram got to go

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00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:34,120
Facebook by I never really dealt with Facebook too much. Anyway, Facebook. Okay. So this is why I don't like Facebook

241
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,400
I'm gonna go off on a little rant Facebook. I feel like it

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00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:45,560
Reintroduces you or resurrects old relationships and friendships that have passed and that season has passed in a little bit

243
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,560
And those people are you know

244
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,400
You're not supposed to reconnect with everybody from high school and college and

245
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,360
Exes and all that. That's why I don't like Facebook

246
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,520
You know, I don't like it. Anyway, let me stop tick tock

247
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:05,560
Huge waste of time for people. Okay. I ain't talking about people that get paid off of tick tock

248
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,720
If you get paid off of tick tock and Facebook and it's good for you keep doing it

249
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,360
But I have I have a cousin

250
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,760
Who is obsessed

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00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,520
with tick tock

252
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,520
And some of y'all already know who I'm talking about

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00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,920
her main way of communicating on our group chat

254
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,800
And shout out to my cousin's not an adria an angel by the way, you know

255
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,160
Our group our little group chat gets me through the day a lot of times

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00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,840
but

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00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,440
Yeah, her main way of communicating is sending tick tocks

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00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,560
Of the most horrific

259
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,760
Youthless posts you can think of

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00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,760
Stuff like

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00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,120
um

262
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,120
12 year old shoots mom in the face

263
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,720
7 year old hung by fourth graders in a school bathroom

264
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,880
I'm just like

265
00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:02,840
Why is any of this morbid stuff on your timeline and what makes you think that I want to see it

266
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,920
I don't want none of that morbid stuff. You know on my spirit

267
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:12,840
So when you're talking about making power moves and focusing on changing your life

268
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,280
A lot of this type of stuff has to go it got to go

269
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,400
All of the mindless scrolling on these apps

270
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,880
Unless you're leveraging them to promote your business or your side hustle

271
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,520
I would just delete them

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right

273
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,840
Replacing with something like audible

274
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:40,280
Audible okay, so audible isn't just for ebooks. They have podcasts. They have series

275
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:46,840
They have live performances all types of stuff, you know, or you can just grab a real book

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Hail start writing a book

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But don't give your most precious resource to social media when you could be using

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Your time for something more constructive

279
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Something that's going to get you closer to achieving your goal

280
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,960
Okay. All right. We're going to move on

281
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,200
power move number three

282
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detox from negative people

283
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,960
All right, so

284
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,040
This power move is probably going to be the hardest one for you to do

285
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,840
uh

286
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,840
Because negative people in our lives are

287
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:27,800
More than likely the people we're already close with or in close proximity to

288
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:32,600
It could very well be the people we love our family and our friends

289
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:37,320
Um, it could even be your spouse or your partner in some cases

290
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,440
You may be the negative person in your life right now and that's okay

291
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:47,880
You know, I've certainly been in my own way before so I'm not judging

292
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:52,840
We're all on different paths of of progress here

293
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:59,880
But as long as you have an awareness and a willingness to improve your life, then you're going to be just fine

294
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:07,320
But uh over the course of our lives, you know, we can accumulate a lot of associates

295
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:14,920
A lot of angers on a lot of fair weather friends and foe friends and what I call frenemies

296
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:19,320
There may be people in your life right now who are in your inner circle

297
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,920
or have direct access to you and

298
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,640
Probably shouldn't

299
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,040
So

300
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,280
during my last deployment to Saudi I had this friend named Emily

301
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,040
Okay

302
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,040
Now Emily and I were

303
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,080
co-workers

304
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,080
Actually, she was one of my direct reports

305
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,840
And you know typically I wouldn't engage with co-workers

306
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,320
or direct reports outside of work

307
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,960
Let alone develop a friendship

308
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,560
but

309
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,720
You know given the nature of her role in the organization and you know

310
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:58,200
Working in such close proximity and being in a deployed

311
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,520
Environment overseas where you're away from your family your friends, you know your support system

312
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,560
A friendship just sort of happened organically. So, you know, I didn't fight it

313
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,000
Um, I wouldn't say we're friends today

314
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,800
We haven't spoken in

315
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,080
Over six months now

316
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,240
And uh, you know, I'm at peace with that

317
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,440
You know sometimes

318
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,960
People coming to your life for a season, you know, and you have to be

319
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,720
Discerning and knowing when a season has passed

320
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,280
so

321
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:39,000
When the communication between me and Emily just got to the point where I was

322
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,800
He and Emily just sort of organically stopped

323
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:47,160
I kind of just knew the season of our friendship had come and gone

324
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:51,480
And if we're not in tune with ourselves spiritually

325
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:54,120
We can actually prolong

326
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,240
Seasons with people that were supposed to end

327
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,920
So, but anyway during the short time of my friendship with Emily we learned

328
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,960
Not just a lot about each other

329
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:11,800
But we learned a lot from each other and one of the biggest lessons I learned from Emily is

330
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:16,040
To always take inventory of the people in your life

331
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,960
And by take inventory, this is what I mean

332
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,240
Who is in your inner circle?

333
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,200
Who are you spending the most time with who has your ear?

334
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:34,040
Like who do you who do you talk most on the phone with? Who do you trust your secrets with?

335
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:39,960
Who do you take advice or constructive criticism from?

336
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,480
Who ministers to you spiritually?

337
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,800
Who are the givers who are the takers who are the people?

338
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,480
That you check in on you know to make sure they're okay

339
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:57,800
And most importantly, who are the people checking in on you?

340
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,800
That last question tells you everything you need to know about the people in your life

341
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:08,200
And this is what Emily helped me to appreciate during our brief friendship

342
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:13,560
During that brief friendship. She noticed a lot of things about me

343
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,600
Emily was very

344
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:22,440
Observant I want to say nosy. She was nosy, but she was very observant, but not in a bad way

345
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,920
You know not in a malicious way

346
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,960
But she observed how generous I was

347
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,160
When it came to friends and family

348
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:34,840
And people I cared about she noticed how I

349
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:40,200
Even though I was overseas how I do my best to stay connected with my loved ones and

350
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,640
How I spend a little gifts here and there

351
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:45,560
And

352
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,560
There was this one time

353
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,920
I was going through a really rough patch

354
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:52,040
Emotionally

355
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:57,240
And she was doing what you know friends are supposed to do. She was being encouraging and she was being

356
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,960
reassuring

357
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,960
and

358
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,800
She asked me a very important question that I'll never forget

359
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,160
She said

360
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:13,480
How many of the people you always send money to ever call to check up on you?

361
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:20,520
You know to make sure you're okay to make sure you had enough to eat

362
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,160
To see if you needed anything

363
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,960
Just to see if you're alive

364
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,800
and

365
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,280
I just looked at her because

366
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,600
It was one of those questions that didn't really

367
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,160
require an answer

368
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,440
and

369
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,600
after a moment of silence

370
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,400
Because I didn't answer the question. I just kind of looked at her. I was like

371
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,240
You know wow just kind of had this blank stare and she said

372
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:52,440
She was from El Salvador, so she had a strong accent. She said honey. I want you to do something

373
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,400
Take out your phone

374
00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:02,520
And open your cash shop, and I want you to calculate honey. How much money you are sending out these months?

375
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,160
And uh, so I did I did it. I did it

376
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,480
I went and calculated that I opened up my cash app and I'll never forget it

377
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,720
I when I opened up my cash app and I totaled just what I had sent that month

378
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,600
I had sent a total of

379
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,320
$500

380
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,680
Um, this is a little over 500, but basically $500 to

381
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,680
Um

382
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:35,320
Just people and the month before it was a little over $400

383
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,080
$400

384
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,720
And a month before that it was about

385
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,640
$375

386
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,640
It's some change so

387
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,880
On average I was sending out

388
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:51,960
About $400 a month and love offerings and gifts and you know donations and what have you

389
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,360
And on top of that

390
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,280
I was the one calling and I was the one texting and

391
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,920
emailing and video calling

392
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:07,080
You know just to make sure everyone was okay doing my best to stay connected with everyone while I was overseas and

393
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,600
um

394
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:15,560
You know despite that distance still be a good friend try to be a good brother a good uncle a good godparent

395
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:17,320
and

396
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:23,720
In retrospect, I understand a lot of what I was doing was being done out of a form of survivor's guilt

397
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,360
But even with that aside still

398
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,920
things seem to be kind of lopsided

399
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,920
a lot of effort and

400
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,080
um

401
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,280
Trying seem to only be coming from my side

402
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:43,880
And so Emily invited me to conduct a little social experiment. She said I want you to do this, okay?

403
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:49,560
Because I want you to do this I want you to do this honey because I need you I used to be just like you

404
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,160
I used to be checking up on people making sure everyone was okay

405
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,720
Helping financially just give give give. I love how she talked by the way. I kind of miss Emily

406
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,400
Um

407
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,320
But her point where she used to be just like me

408
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:07,080
She used to be the one checking in being the one, you know sending money here and there making sure everyone was okay

409
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,640
and she talked about how

410
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,360
People can sometimes develop a sense of entitlement

411
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,160
instead of being grateful

412
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,240
uh an appreciative

413
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,480
And she was like if you don't watch it honey, some of these people

414
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:27,480
They'll start to view you as a cash cow and they'll even resent you honey when you stop giving them money

415
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,880
So you have to be really careful. Believe me honey. It happened to me. You know, that's how she talked

416
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:33,720
and uh

417
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:37,240
So she said I want you to do this. She said go silent

418
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,120
for three months

419
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:47,720
She said don't initiate any calls text emails all this stuff don't initiate anything. She said only respond

420
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,320
Okay, her point was

421
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,880
You'd be surprised at how many people in your life can go weeks

422
00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:01,720
or three five six months and be okay with not hearing from you

423
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,320
Or even bother to check up on you to see if you're okay

424
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,920
And I really give it to Emily

425
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,160
after my little uh

426
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:16,520
Social experiment, I you know, I think I did like three months at my little social experiment was over

427
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,240
I had a very small circle

428
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:25,880
Of people who actually cared enough to check in on me and to see if I was okay during that time frame

429
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,680
It was very eye-opening

430
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,000
and you know, it gave me the awareness I needed in terms of

431
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,720
prioritization

432
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:39,640
and refining my social circle and

433
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,160
uh limiting direct access

434
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,560
to only those few people who I knew I could really rely on right

435
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,720
Not everybody deserves to have close access to you. That's what I'm saying

436
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,480
And that includes a lot of people in your own family

437
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,400
Unfortunately

438
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,000
But I want to encourage you to do a similar experience

439
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,400
or experience experiment

440
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:08,760
Maybe not for an entire like three months like I did maybe just do it for one month

441
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:14,200
But you do need to take some sort of inventory of the people who are in your life and you need to

442
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,800
assess who your givers are who your takers are

443
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:19,800
Um, who

444
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,800
All is only when they need something

445
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,160
You know, who calls just to see how you're doing

446
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:33,160
Who is the one bringing drama and problems and chaos and confusion who's always complaining?

447
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,360
You know, who who brings positivity?

448
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,360
Think about those types of things. Who are the who are the most negative people in your circle?

449
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:49,080
And once you complete your inventory, you need to make adjustments accordingly. All right, and I'm going to tell you something else

450
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,840
Be prepared to be a little lonely during that time

451
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,960
And getting your feelings hurt a little

452
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:03,160
But in the end, I promise you it's going to be a good thing, but really do try that experiment. Okay?

453
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:04,520
All right

454
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,520
All right

455
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,040
Power move number four. We're still on our detox now

456
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,120
Power move number four detox from negative emotions

457
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,560
We all know what negative emotions are and

458
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:23,480
That they block our blessings and positive things from, you know, happening in our lives

459
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:25,000
um

460
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000
emotions like guilt

461
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,320
envy

462
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,960
What's another one hatred resentment

463
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,160
Unforgiveness that's a big one grudges

464
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,960
and gossip

465
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:43,960
I'm not going to touch on all of these. I'll just uh, I'll speak briefly on the ones I feel people struggle the most with

466
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,080
Let's start with guilt

467
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,080
Okay

468
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,400
Is there something in your life that you feel really guilty about?

469
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,400
Maybe it's how you acted in your first marriage or your last relationship

470
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,400
or

471
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,240
Maybe you regret how you treated your kids when they were younger

472
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:12,040
Or maybe you didn't get an opportunity to rebuild a relationship or forgive someone before they passed

473
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:14,920
Look

474
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,640
Don't beat yourself up over something you did in the past or that you regret

475
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:25,160
It's been done. You can't undo it. You can't unsay it

476
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,200
All you can do is learn and grow from it

477
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,160
and

478
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,320
Not make that same mistake again

479
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,720
And mistakes are just reminders that we're human

480
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,440
You know, we learn we grow

481
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,400
Hopefully we grow we move on

482
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,520
And if you really want to kick it up a notch

483
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:49,720
Teach others how to avoid the same pitfalls that you experienced

484
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,680
You know, that's something I'm doing

485
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,280
um

486
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,280
What's another one unforgiveness

487
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,280
Let's talk about that one

488
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:03,800
Because this is a big one for a lot of people and I've had my own challenges with this

489
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,920
Until you finally get that

490
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:14,920
Holding on to unforgiveness only hurts you and I know we've heard it a thousand times

491
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,840
I've heard a thousand times, but until it really sinks in

492
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:24,600
And you realize that all the resentment all the anger

493
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:29,160
All the unforgiveness towards folks who've hurt you

494
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,480
It hasn't moved your life forward one inch

495
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:39,240
In fact, it keeps you tethered to the past and

496
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:45,080
Holding on to a version of a person that may even no longer exist

497
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,520
Think about some of the people you may have heard

498
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,720
Remember how you were back in the day

499
00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:53,720
Remember how you didn't

500
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:59,880
Consider other people's feelings that much or maybe used to be really flippant with your mouth

501
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:05,800
Like I used to be you know, but look how much you've changed over the years. That's not even you anymore

502
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:11,160
But there may be someone out there that you heard all those years ago

503
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:16,040
That may be still holding on to that old outdated version of you

504
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,400
You see how unfortunate that is

505
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:23,720
That they're missing out on this wonderful person that you blossomed into

506
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,960
So don't you be that way forgive people who hurt you

507
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,520
You know it it doesn't mean you have to renew a connection with them

508
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,080
It doesn't even mean you have to say hello

509
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,320
When you see him in the street, it just means

510
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,840
I acknowledge that what happened happened

511
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,200
I've accepted the fact that

512
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:51,560
No, no matter how many times I relive it how many times I you know agonize over it. I can never change it

513
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,080
And that saying upset behind it only prevents me

514
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,240
From fully enjoying the life that God put me here to enjoy

515
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:01,720
And

516
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:07,240
You know, it can be a long road to finally get to that place and that's okay, too

517
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,440
At least you're trying at least at least try

518
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,840
You know, I finally arrived at a place where I can forgive my eldest sister

519
00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:18,040
So something she said to me and then my other sister

520
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:22,840
Something I wouldn't tell a person on the street

521
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,560
Let alone a sibling

522
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,080
But I'm finally at a place of forgiveness

523
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,800
And letting it go

524
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:37,720
Let me say this real quick and I've learned this in therapy. I want to pass it on to you

525
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:42,760
I want to pass it on to you. Closure is an inside job

526
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,040
Okay, if someone hurt you

527
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,840
Or you hurt them or you both hurt each other however it went down

528
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,080
You do not need to have a conversation

529
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,960
Or interaction with that person in order to have closure and heal

530
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,400
Once I really got that it was huge for me

531
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:11,480
And having that understanding helped me to make peace with and forgive my eldest sister

532
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,920
Now granted it took about a year

533
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,040
It took about a year

534
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:24,680
I see you Alicia. Thank you for listening in it took about a year because all of this happened about a year ago this this month actually

535
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:30,280
My sister said something really awful to me and my other sister

536
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,120
and

537
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,240
and

538
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:36,760
Listen, I can be a real bitch when I want to be

539
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,320
trust me and

540
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,520
You know, even I would have never said what she said to us

541
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:44,680
but

542
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,240
Whenever someone said or does something to hurt you

543
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,600
Especially if there was an intent to hurt you

544
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:57,160
You're going to go through the whole process of emotions that anyone would go through. Okay

545
00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,160
So

546
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,160
That's normal

547
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,160
And I would definitely

548
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,400
Give yourself some grace in that regard

549
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,760
But you know if it's been five

550
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,800
10 15 years and it's like, okay

551
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,320
How is holding on to this serving you?

552
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,440
What are you getting out of it? What's the end? What's the end game here?

553
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:25,080
You know, are you going to write a book about it and then finally let it all go like what's the plan?

554
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:30,840
And I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal because you know, I was able to forgive my sister

555
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,320
You know, it trust me. I struggled with this. I call her all types of

556
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:40,360
dumb bees and stupid bees and selfish bees. You know just everything

557
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:42,440
but

558
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,440
when I thought about our mother

559
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:46,360
and

560
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,360
How upset she would be

561
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,360
behind this type of division

562
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,320
and how the only thing she wanted was for us to

563
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:54,520
To

564
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,000
Be there for one another and stay close to one another

565
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,280
I

566
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,280
I wasn't going to do anything to further

567
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,520
perpetuate

568
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,520
that division among us

569
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:11,240
And I've been working. I'm not going to cry. I'm not

570
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:16,120
um, I've been working really hard to let that go

571
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,360
And to not speak negatively of my sister

572
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:25,880
Or just if I can't say anything nice just just don't mention her name at all

573
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,080
but even in my anger

574
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,800
I had always left the door open for my sister to call or text to

575
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,080
Make a means if that's something she wanted to do

576
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,720
um

577
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:44,520
I've not received that call or text yet, but hey the door is still open

578
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,320
You know, I'm accepted to at least a conversation

579
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,360
um

580
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,080
I could be the bigger person and reach out

581
00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:00,120
Um, I thought about that. I really did think about that, but I'm not going to do that

582
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,640
Because this is not my wrong to write

583
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,640
um

584
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,640
I'm the agreed party in this situation

585
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:13,800
You know along with my other sister. So this is not really for me to fix

586
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:20,280
It's time for my eldest sister to act like the eldest and you know be the bigger person

587
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:26,360
And take accountability and just apologize and be like look y'all I I didn't mean it

588
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:31,400
Or yeah, I did mean it, but I don't want to feel that way and I miss y'all

589
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,600
That's all we're looking for

590
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,560
We know you meant what you said, but

591
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:42,440
Can we at least talk about it and for the sake of our mother not allow this

592
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,080
division to continue

593
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:53,400
Anyway, we were already we were all raised by the same woman. It's just like I just don't I don't get her

594
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,880
um

595
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,520
Anyway, I don't mean to drag everyone into our family business

596
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:02,200
But I wanted to take an opportunity since we're talking about toxic emotions

597
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:07,160
And unforgiveness being one of the biggest ones. I want to at least

598
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,240
Try to use a personal example to humanize this point

599
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,200
In hopes that some other family might be able to benefit, you know

600
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:22,360
um or be able to heal a fracture or a division that exists in their family

601
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:27,240
you know, um it's something that's been bothering me for a while, but you know

602
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:33,720
There's always an opportunity for healing so I just thank y'all for letting me bend about that

603
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:38,040
We're going to take a quick commercial break and when we return

604
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,680
We'll pick up where we left off and discuss the five additional power moves

605
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:58,120
You can make today to unlock your best life in 2025. We'll be right back

606
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:22,120
Oh

607
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:31,120
It was nothing I could conceive When you lived inside of me

608
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:40,120
It was nothing I could conceive That you wouldn't do for me

609
00:43:40,120 --> 00:44:01,120
Do for me

610
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:09,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

611
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:17,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

612
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:42,120
That you wouldn't do for me Do for me

613
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:50,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

614
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:58,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

615
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:15,120
That you wouldn't do for me Do for me

616
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:31,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

617
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:40,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

618
00:45:40,120 --> 00:46:06,120
That you wouldn't do for me Do for me

619
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:20,120
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive

620
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:51,120
Before the break, we covered the first four power moves, which focus mostly on detoxing from negativity and several aspects of our lives.

621
00:46:51,120 --> 00:47:06,120
Now that we've discussed how to move negative influences out of the way, we're going to start developing some winning habits that's going to take us to the next level in unlocking our best lives.

622
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:15,120
So let's get started. Power move number five, challenge beliefs that no longer serve you.

623
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:25,120
Now we're all familiar with the popular scripture at Proverbs 23-7 that says, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

624
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:37,120
And what I take that to mean is that our beliefs, and I'm not talking about our religious beliefs, but our beliefs in terms of the stories we tell ourselves.

625
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:42,120
Let me give you a few examples of some common beliefs that people have about themselves.

626
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:46,120
And I'm going to try to animate some of these for you, okay?

627
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,120
Every time I try to do something good it backfires.

628
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:54,120
I always end up ruining every relationship I'm in.

629
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:58,120
I could never get on the stage and speak to a crowd.

630
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:04,120
It seems like every time I take a step forward, I end up taking three steps back.

631
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:14,120
We've all heard this though. I know we may laugh at someone, but we've all, those are real beliefs that people, you know, have said, we may even say them, you know.

632
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:27,120
But remember what it said at Proverbs 18-21, death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

633
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:37,120
So one of my beliefs that I'm really trying to uproot is this core belief that I'm a clumsy person.

634
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:48,120
So ever since I was a child, I've always knocked stuff over, dropped stuff, spilled stuff, broken things.

635
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:56,120
And so I grew up with this idea or belief that I was just clumsy and with nothing I can do about it.

636
00:48:56,120 --> 00:49:05,120
I was just clumsy. And it didn't help that I had this whole Steve Urkel vibe and persona going on when I was younger.

637
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:14,120
That didn't help at all. But because that has been one of my core beliefs, it's been really hard to uproot it.

638
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:21,120
And I have to continue to have conversations with myself and watch myself talk.

639
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:33,120
I still have instances where, you know, I'm knocking stuff over, even in my 40s, still knocking stuff over and I'm struggling trying to rewire my brain to uproot this belief.

640
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:40,120
You know, just the other day I spilled a whole big ass cup of green tea on my beige carpet.

641
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:44,120
And my first instinct was to fuss at myself.

642
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:50,120
Andre, you were so damn clumsy, but I caught myself. I caught myself that time.

643
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:57,120
And instead I was like, okay, Andre, it was just a mistake. It could have happened to anybody. It's just cleaned it up.

644
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:01,120
Yeah, there's going to be a stain there, but whatever. Could have been worse.

645
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:07,120
You know, so that's just one example of uprooting negative beliefs that, you know, we have about ourselves.

646
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:11,120
We have to constantly monitor our self-talk.

647
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:22,120
And a lot of these beliefs that we carry by ourselves and speak out loud about some of them, like the one I just mentioned about being clumsy, that's like a trivial one.

648
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:31,120
But there are also beliefs that we carry that can distort our reality and our overall perception of ourselves.

649
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:38,120
Stuff like telling yourself you're not smart, telling yourself that you're, you know, unlucky and all this other stuff.

650
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:43,120
You know, all of that stuff really does have an impact on our lives, whether we mean it or not.

651
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:49,120
And then you're going to manifest that stuff in your life because it's your belief system.

652
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:56,120
So things are going to happen that reinforce that belief like, see, see, I'm always dropping shit. I'm clumsy.

653
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:01,120
Change that narrative. You have to catch yourself 100 times a day, then do that.

654
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:08,120
All right, so take inventory of your beliefs and work hard to group the ones that no longer serve you.

655
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,120
All right, we're going to move on.

656
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,120
So already, oh, 10 minutes.

657
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:16,120
Okay, look, power move number six, practice mindfulness.

658
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:22,120
So this power move is really sort of an extension of what we just discussed.

659
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:32,120
When I say practice mindfulness, what I mean is be fully present and fully aware of the current moment.

660
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:36,120
You know, and there are a number of ways we can try to achieve that.

661
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:40,120
For one, we should be mindful of our thoughts.

662
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:50,120
So think about this over the course of a day, we will be bombarded with thousands of thoughts and images.

663
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:55,120
Many of them might be negative.

664
00:51:55,120 --> 00:52:05,120
While we can't stop these thoughts from coming to mind, we do have the choice to decide which thoughts that we're going to hold on to or magnify.

665
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:13,120
And a lot of times these negative thoughts still just keep trying to infiltrate our spirit and it can be persistent.

666
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:21,120
You know, I'm afraid such and such is going to happen or, oh my God, what if I can't pay this bill or I hope he's not out cheating.

667
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,120
I hope she's not out cheating.

668
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:32,120
You know, when your mind is constantly on one of these negative tracks, you have to find ways to intercept and interrupt those thoughts.

669
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:37,120
And the best way to interrupt thoughts is by speaking out loud.

670
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,120
Okay, that's why God gave us the power of the tongue.

671
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:50,120
Our words have the power to hurt or heal, to speak death over situations or to breathe life into situations.

672
00:52:50,120 --> 00:53:01,120
So when your mind starts in terms of all that negative thinking and, you know, oh, I never have any, I never have enough money or, you know, every time I get a dollar, I can't keep it.

673
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:04,120
No, what's the opposite of that?

674
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,120
God is my provider.

675
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:09,120
He provides for all of my needs abundantly.

676
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:12,120
You know, I'm having a bad day.

677
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,120
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

678
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,120
This just ain't my day.

679
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,120
No, this is the day the Lord has made.

680
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:22,120
I will rejoice and be glad in it.

681
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,120
So that's what I mean by practicing mindfulness.

682
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:34,120
And you can also do this by taking deep breathing exercises, you know, prayer, meditation, all of that.

683
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:42,120
Just some sort of mindful practice every day that you can use to center yourself and clear your thoughts.

684
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,120
Okay, moving on. Power move number seven.

685
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,120
I hope you all are writing these down.

686
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:50,120
Start a gratitude journal.

687
00:53:50,120 --> 00:54:03,120
Now, this is one of my favorite power moves because if you only did this one thing out of all the stuff we talked about tonight, it will completely change your life.

688
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:10,120
The first time I heard about a gratitude journal was on Oprah back in the early 2000s.

689
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:16,120
I started using a gratitude journal back then, and I've been practicing gratitude and keeping a journal ever since.

690
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,120
And it's nothing fancy.

691
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:22,120
It's just a clean notebook from a dollar store or something.

692
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:28,120
Keep it by your bed, write gratitude journal on the front of it in big letters with a sharpie.

693
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:37,120
And every night before bed, make a list of at least, you can do more, but at least 10 things that you're grateful for.

694
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:39,120
And it could be the simplest stuff.

695
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,120
And sometimes that's the best stuff to the journal.

696
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:47,120
Stuff like, I'm grateful that my children had a good day at school.

697
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:50,120
I'm grateful that there's no pain in my body right now.

698
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,120
I'm grateful that there's food in my cupboard.

699
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:56,120
I'm grateful that my bills are paid this month.

700
00:54:56,120 --> 00:55:00,120
I'm grateful for the compliment the lady gave my hair today.

701
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:03,120
You know, just little stuff like that.

702
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:13,120
And you'd be amazed at how that little practice will completely rewire your brain and give you an entirely new perspective on life.

703
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:16,120
So try that one tonight before you go to bed.

704
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:23,120
All right, power move number eight, write the vision, create a vision board.

705
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,120
Now this one is my second favorite one next to the gratitude journal.

706
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,120
This is my second favorite.

707
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:37,120
Creating a vision board is going to be essential to manifesting your goals and the life that you want.

708
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:40,120
And you know, this can be a fun creative exercise.

709
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,120
This is what it's meant to be as fun as creative.

710
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,120
You can do it with your kids or something.

711
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:48,120
We even have, you know, vision board parties with their close group of friends.

712
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:55,120
Long as they're like-minded and they're on the same wavelength about manifestation and living the life of your dreams.

713
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,120
And it's very simple.

714
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,120
All you need is a poster board.

715
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:03,120
If you don't have a poster board, a piece of paper does the same thing.

716
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:09,120
But get a poster board, some sharpies, some markers, get some scissors, glue.

717
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:12,120
If you're into glitter, get you some glitter, you know.

718
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:19,120
But most importantly, you're going to need a bunch of like random magazines.

719
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:22,120
You can get them from your job, you can get them from your doctor's office.

720
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,120
You probably got something lying around your house.

721
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:38,120
But once you have all your supplies, go through those magazines and cut out words and images and pictures that illustrate or represent the life you want.

722
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:39,120
Things that you want.

723
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:53,120
If you always saw yourself on the beach, pictures of beaches, you know, or if you always wanted a boat, cut out pictures of boats and put down your vision board, whatever you want to manifest.

724
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:57,120
And don't worry about how I'm ever going to afford a boat or how I'm ever going to-

725
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:58,120
Don't worry about all that.

726
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:03,120
Put what you really want to see in your life on that board.

727
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:04,120
That's your board.

728
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,120
And this stuff is more powerful than what you think.

729
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:12,120
But the key is to get really creative and make it something that you look at every day.

730
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:20,120
You just look at it on your way out to work and you smile and you remember what you're working towards.

731
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:21,120
Right?

732
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:27,120
It's designed to be a tool that you can use every day to visualize your future.

733
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:33,120
And you might even want to take a picture of it and make it your screen saver on your laptop or your cell phone.

734
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:35,120
That way you can kind of look at it whenever you want.

735
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:41,120
But seeing those images every day, it will draw your vision to you.

736
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,120
It will draw it.

737
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:44,120
You know?

738
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:49,120
So definitely start working on that so you can have it ready for the new year.

739
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:50,120
Okay?

740
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:51,120
All right.

741
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,120
Power move number nine.

742
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,120
Do something that challenges you.

743
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,120
Do something that challenges you.

744
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:01,120
So let's talk about comfort zones real quick.

745
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,120
We all have comfort zones.

746
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:05,120
We like our comfort zones.

747
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,120
It's a safe space.

748
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,120
But here's the thing.

749
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:16,120
There's nothing exciting or groundbreaking or life changing that's happening in a comfort zone.

750
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:22,120
And if you're staying in your comfort zone too long, that's how we become stagnant.

751
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:24,120
You know?

752
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,120
I remember when I finished my doctorate.

753
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:29,120
My doctorate took me five years to complete.

754
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,120
It took years.

755
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:36,120
And by the time I was in year four working on my thesis, I was like, you know what?

756
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,120
After I finished this, I ain't doing shit.

757
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,120
I ain't going to normal school.

758
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,120
I don't want to see a classroom.

759
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:43,120
I'm retiring from life.

760
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:45,120
I ain't doing nothing.

761
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:52,120
I had been on this treadmill for so long of setting goals and achieving and what's the next thing?

762
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:54,120
That just wasn't in me.

763
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:55,120
I couldn't relax.

764
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,120
I couldn't take a break.

765
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:00,120
I couldn't just be normal and do nothing.

766
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,120
It just didn't feel right.

767
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:04,120
You know?

768
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:07,120
That's one of the reasons why I continue to do this show.

769
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:12,120
Not only because it helps so many people and all the feedback I've gotten.

770
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:13,120
It challenges me.

771
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:17,120
Y'all, I have a fear of public speaking.

772
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:21,120
Even though y'all can't see me right now, this stresses me out.

773
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:23,120
This makes me nervous.

774
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:25,120
It gives me jitters.

775
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:27,120
It's a good jitters, though.

776
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:32,120
I'm still challenged by this show because I'm not naturally a public speaker.

777
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,120
I'm very shy and introverted.

778
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:39,120
So doing this show is something that continuously challenges me.

779
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:43,120
And so that's why I continue to do it because I don't want to become stagnant.

780
00:59:43,120 --> 00:59:45,120
Okay?

781
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:51,120
And it doesn't mean you have to do something crazy like clown, Mount Everest, and do a triathlon.

782
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:56,120
It can be something as simple as when you have company meetings or something.

783
00:59:56,120 --> 01:00:02,120
If you're normally the quiet one, maybe speak up and say something at that meeting.

784
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:08,120
Or learn some type of new skill or tackle a fear, like public speaking or something else.

785
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:14,120
The point is to push yourself just enough to feel a little uncomfortable.

786
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:19,120
And I'm telling you, that discomfort, that's where your growth happens.

787
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:21,120
It's kind of like lifting weights.

788
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:26,120
When you first lift weights for the first time, it's heavy, it feels kind of awkward.

789
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:30,120
But over time, your body gets used to that weight and then you increase it.

790
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:34,120
It's the same thing with challenging yourself, same concept.

791
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:37,120
You'll build confidence, you'll build resilience.

792
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:41,120
And it's great to be able to look back and say, you know, I did that.

793
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:44,120
I did that. I didn't think I could do that, but I did it.

794
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:48,120
You ain't got to do it again, but you can always look back and say, I did that.

795
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:49,120
You know what I'm saying?

796
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:52,120
So my challenge to you is this.

797
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:58,120
What's one thing you've been avoiding because it scares you a little bit or scares you a lot?

798
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:04,120
Start small, but just start today and stretch those comfort zones.

799
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:09,120
And stretch those muscles because on the other side of that fear,

800
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:13,120
on the other side of that is the life you've been dreaming about.

801
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:14,120
Okay?

802
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:15,120
All right, we're at the top of the hour.

803
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:17,120
We got power move number 10.

804
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,120
This is the last one. Okay?

805
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:21,120
And thank you guys for hanging in there with me tonight.

806
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:23,120
Power move number 10.

807
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:29,120
Put something positive out into the world every day.

808
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:32,120
And before you say, look, Dr. Andre, I'm not Gandhi.

809
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:35,120
I don't have time to be spreading sunshine and all of that.

810
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:39,120
It don't have to be some type of grand gesture.

811
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,120
Okay?

812
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:44,120
Positivity can be something simple as like smiling at a stranger.

813
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:47,120
When you normally have a resting bitch face.

814
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:52,120
Okay, y'all out there, y'all know if you have one of those resting bitch faces,

815
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:56,120
where it just looked like you have an attitude, looked like they're the problem.

816
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,120
You got that don't fuck with me face.

817
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:01,120
You know if you got one of those faces.

818
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:04,120
Just try smiling just for no reason.

819
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:05,120
Don't give a crazy smile.

820
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:09,120
People think you're insane, but just smile at someone.

821
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:11,120
Just that little thing.

822
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:16,120
It sounds simple, but it could make someone's day or just try giving a genuine compliment.

823
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:17,120
Not a fake one.

824
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:20,120
A genuine compliment to someone like, girl, your hair.

825
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:22,120
Oh, I love your car.

826
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:28,120
Just something or send a quick text to someone just to say, hey, I love you or hey, I'm thinking about you.

827
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,120
I hope you're doing all right.

828
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:34,120
Back in the day, I used to, I know we're going over time.

829
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:39,120
I used to text random Bible verses to just random numbers.

830
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:46,120
I would just make up numbers and just send texts to people with these scriptures or whatever.

831
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:50,120
And, you know, largely I didn't get a lot of responses from those, but it wasn't about that.

832
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:56,120
You never know, you know, because God said my word is never going to come back.

833
01:02:56,120 --> 01:03:01,120
Boy, you don't know if that scripture could have hit somebody at the right time or changed the whole trajectory of their life,

834
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:05,120
or just got their day off to the right start.

835
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:06,120
You don't know.

836
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:07,120
We don't never know.

837
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:10,120
And sometimes I did get messages back to, hey, thank you.

838
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:13,120
Or sometimes I got, hey, go to hell or whatever.

839
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:17,120
But, you know, just try to put something positive out.

840
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:27,120
You know, even if it's on social media, even, you know, share a post that's inspiring or, you know, just don't be arguing with strangers and stuff on Facebook.

841
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:29,120
Just say something positive.

842
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:31,120
If you're going to be on that stuff.

843
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:37,120
And here's why this type of stuff matters, the energy that we've put out into the world, it comes back to us.

844
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:42,120
You know, if you go around radiating positivity, you're going to attract positivity.

845
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:50,120
And like I said, you never know how much of a difference that small act of kindness may make in someone's, you know, life.

846
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,120
You could change your mood, change your day.

847
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,120
They might say, you know what, I'm going to go smile at somebody.

848
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:57,120
I'm going to smile as a stranger.

849
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,120
You know, be careful who you smile at, too.

850
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:05,120
Some of these people are crazy, but just the point is to put some positivity out in the world.

851
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:07,120
So that's your homework.

852
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,120
That's your homework.

853
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,120
Get your vision board together.

854
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:13,120
Start your gratitude journal.

855
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:16,120
Put positivity out in the world every day.

856
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:20,120
You know, create your own, your own style with it.

857
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:24,120
You may not be the text scripture type, but do something else.

858
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:25,120
All right.

859
01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:26,120
Okay.

860
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:27,120
I need to hug.

861
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,120
We're going to great episode.

862
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:31,120
We covered a lot.

863
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:35,120
Tim Power moves that can truly help unlock your best life.

864
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:46,120
We talked about taking inventory relationships, starting gratitude, gratitude journal, creating a vision board, meditating, challenging yourself, putting something positive in the world.

865
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:52,120
All this stuff is practical stuff, you know, that we can start right now so we can start improving our lives.

866
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:54,120
Get a head start on this new year.

867
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:57,120
Don't wait to January 1st to start all this stuff.

868
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:58,120
Start now.

869
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:01,120
So that way when you get to January 1st, you can be like, look, I got this.

870
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:02,120
Let's go.

871
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:03,120
Let's get it.

872
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:07,120
So, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in to Live with Dr. Andre tonight.

873
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:09,120
Your support means everything to me.

874
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:17,120
Don't forget to check out our show's homepage at artistfirst.com for more updates and information about the show.

875
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:27,120
And if you enjoyed this episode, make sure you follow us on YouTube and Spotify, Amazon Music, all those platforms so you'll never miss an episode.

876
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:31,120
And mark your calendars for the next episode, which is going to air Christmas night.

877
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:35,120
Okay, Wednesday, December 25th at 8pm Eastern.

878
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:38,120
It's going to be a special episode so you don't want to miss it.

879
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:41,120
Until then, I wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving.

880
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:42,120
Enjoy your family.

881
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:44,120
Reflect on all your blessings.

882
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,120
We are so blessed, y'all.

883
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:49,120
And take some time to appreciate this holiday season, okay?

884
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:53,120
So from my family to yours, happy holidays and have a good night.

885
01:05:53,120 --> 01:06:17,120
Bye, y'all.