Dr. Jerry
Hello everybody and welcome to a brand new episode of live with dr. Andre
Hey, we're broadcasting live from San Juan Puerto Rico where I'm spending the Thanksgiving holiday
So happy Thanksgiving to everyone
Really honored and grateful that you have decided to tune in you can be doing a thousand other things
Right now. So thank you for supporting the show and for supporting the artist first radio network
okay, so
this show
We started back in August of
2022 and now here we are about a month away from 2025 so time definitely
There's not way on anyone. I don't take any of this for granted
It's truly been a blessing to grow this platform over the years and expand our audience
Remain relevant and consistently rank among some of the most popular shows on the artist first radio network alongside some of my
contemporaries
Rick McCormick, Josh Hubert and
And Renato Morgan
So I'm in great company here
And I'm honored to be a part of the roster of radio shows here
audience artist first and I certainly look forward to continuing to offer
content that's meaningful and
value added to your lives in 2025
Alright, so with that said it's great to be back. I
Took a brief hiatus last month
You know during our last episode I talked about how I was in the process of changing jobs and relocating to another state
So that's kind of what's been keeping me super busy this past month
So apologies for keeping you guys hanging in October. It's been a big transition
You know relocating from Georgia all the way to Ohio and you know all the logistics that go into an
Interstate move I can imagine making this type of transition with a family and kids
I don't know how people do it, you know, it's a lot picking up and relocating. It's really not for the faint of heart
You know, no get me wrong. It can be exciting and re-envigorating and all of that
but it really can take a lot out of you and
You know, I didn't really think about this until recently, but this is my
seventh move in seven years
Isn't that crazy?
so
like in the last in the last seven years I've moved from
Georgia to Puerto Rico
from Puerto Rico to Georgia
From Georgia to Saudi Arabia
Then from Saudi Arabia to Boston from Boston back to Saudi Arabia
And then from Saudi Arabia back to Georgia and then now my latest move is from Georgia to Ohio
so
I'm exhausted
But I'm gonna try my best to stay put at least for the you know next two years and I always say that I know I know
I always say that and then a year later. I'm somewhere else, but we'll see how things go. I seem to have
um landed in a pretty good spot as it relates to my job and my new organization
But remember what I told you guys on the last episode
These jobs do not love you. Okay, they don't love you
So whether you have a good supervisor or not a good team or not or whether you enjoy what you're doing or you don't enjoy it
Always have your resume locked and loaded
Have it ready to go and always operate in your best interest
because I can assure you the company you work for they're operating in their best interest, okay and
They will make whatever decisions that need to be made. So I want you to do the same
you know, I try to tell my nephew this but I don't think he heard me though and
You know, I have a unique vantage point when compared to others. I realized that but
This was always my philosophy like even when I didn't have shit. This was my philosophy. I remember
when I used to work in a call center at Affleck and
Back then all I had was a diploma in accounting and management from my local community college
but if you guys remember how call centers were back in the day and
I'm sure it's a lot different now
But they were strict
Like they were like little wet shops. You could hardly go to the like bathroom or take breaks. Um
They were very strict about time constraints or when you could take lunch and you know, everything, you know
had to be meticulously coordinated in terms of
Scheduling and you can forget trying to take a day off. But yeah, it was very strict
They had to make sure that there were enough agents available
At any given time to service the calls in queue. So it was a very stringent environment and
People were
Afraid to call out or take PTO or what have you I remember
one of my colleagues at the time was
She was all stressed out because she needed to take a Thursday off to do something with her daughter
I don't know if it was a doctor's appointment or
Something with school, but she was afraid to ask our supervisor for the day off and
I was like forget all of that. I said tell her you have something to do on Thursday and then she was like, oh, you know, I can't
They don't like for us to take Thursdays off because you know, that's our high call volume day
And I was like, I wouldn't give a damn if we got a million calls on Thursday
If you don't go until they won't you got something to do on Thursday, you know
So that type of stuff always bothered me because you shouldn't allow someone or a company to instill that level of fear in you
Or make you feel as though you don't have control over your schedule
Because they give you PTO for a reason and like I mentioned on the last show you're not obligated to disclose
Why you need time off?
So I told her I said I said the problem with you is that you feel like you have to ask permission
So I was like hold on one second. I put my phone in ox. I took off my headset and
I walked over to my supervisor's cubicle, which was just a couple of cubicles down
I was like, hey, I'm gonna take PTO on Thursday. I got some personal stuff. I got to take care of and
She was like, okay. No problem. Just make sure you put your request in and update the calendar
You know, it was just like that. There was no pushback. There were no questions. There were no
Comments about Thursday being one of our busiest days because I set the tone. I set the tone by
Telling her I'm taking PTO not asking for permission to take PTO and
And so like I said, this was just my posture back then when you know
The only thing I had back then going for me was a couple of diplomas and an attitude
So you think at 45 years old with multiple degrees
Adopter it and all of this international work experience I had I'm gonna be afraid to ask for time off when I need it
No
You know, that's definitely the wrong answer. So, you know to my earlier point
Don't let these jobs or any of these supervisors rob you of your dignity or your autonomy as a human being
You know stand up for yourself and
Demand the level of respect that you deserve. Okay
Now I can just hear someone a month from now like dr. Andre. You're your advice got me fine
Your advice got me fired. Hey, listen, I'm not
Advocating for anybody to go cuss out your supervisor. It's not what I'm advocating here
Give respect where respect is due
But you may want to consider changing your posture, you know, if you're one of these people who are shy or you may be hesitant about
Requesting time off, you know, so just just think about that. Okay enough preaching on that topic
All right, so listen, we've got a great show in store for you tonight
2024 is quickly coming to a close. It's coming to an end and we are on the heels of a brand new year
2025 and that means that now is the perfect time to start thinking about what we want to achieve next year
What new habits we need to start developing now to be able to achieve those goals and be able to sustain that lifestyle
And those new goals, okay, and then also which bad habits we want to leave behind in 2024
So for that end tonight, we're going to be talking about how to unlock your best life
10 power moves you can make today. This is not some stuff I found on the Internet. This is stuff that I actually put together and have
Worked on over the years and so I'm just sharing it with you today. Okay, and a great thing about these 10 power moves is that
They're practical and their common sense moves that anybody can make, you know, they don't cost you any money and
You can literally get started today and start to make significant improvements to your life starting tomorrow
Which is going to give you a head start starting into 2025 is going to put you in a power position. Okay?
Does that sound good? Y'all ready to get started? Okay. All right. Let's get started.
All right, let's go. So I'm going to give a disclaimer first. All right. Got to give you a disclaimer the advice
I'm about to give is not for everybody
All right, if you're fine with how your life is going right now and the current trajectory you're on then that's fine
You know a lot of this is not going to
Land with you in a way that it would if you're you know, just satisfied with your life
And ready to make some changes, but if you're not quite in that mental space to do the work
Then this is just not going to make a lot of sense. Okay
But if you're thinking about this past year or past couple of years and you kind of feel like you're stuck or like you're on a
Treadmill going nowhere or you're just unhappy with your life
And you kind of want to manifest something different and more positive in the coming year
Then this is definitely your episode and you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now because I'm speaking directly to you
alright, so
Grab something to drink
The glass of wine or something jot get get something to jot some notes down and we're gonna go ahead and get started. All right
So, okay tonight. We're gonna cover 10 power moves to unlock your best life
now of these 10 power moves the first four or
Or what I consider to be the most fundamental because they're all a form of detox
And don't worry. I'm not gonna ask anybody to go on a diet or fast or anything like that
but a form of detox is absolutely going to be critical to your success
in this coming year because in order to consistently
Attract good things and positive things into your life. You're gonna have to eliminate as much negativity as possible
Okay, there's just no way around that
So here we go
power move number one
So the first the first thing I'm gonna ask you to do is to stop watching the news
local news
national news
world news I
know that may sound counterintuitive because
You know society has conditioned us in a way to believe that
Responsible adults care about what's going on in our neighborhoods and I you know in the world and our communities and therefore
We watch the news every day, you know, so we know what's going on
Let me tell you something
news programs
Actually most television programs in general but particularly news programs are some of the most
negative
Oxygen stuff you can ingest
Okay, I will put it right up there with pornography in terms of how destructive it can be
Just take a moment and think about
How news programs invite you to meditate on fear
fear is that you otherwise wouldn't even have
unless an idea or a program was introduced to you and
I'm not saying that everything you hear or see on the news is negative or untrue
But what I am saying is that it's often sensationalized more than it needs to be
And consider this there may be a thousand different things
That happened in your community today that were beautiful and positive
People get married new babies being born people clothes on their first house
Maybe a minority entrepreneur won a huge contract with the city
New lawyers passing the bar or somebody finally paid off their house made their last house payment on their mortgage
But you probably won't hear any of that on the news
But you know what you will hear
Prime rate is up
Interest rate skyrocketing
People losing their homes short is a job
Bloods over here, hurricanes over there
So and so got killed just down the streets
Or whatever dumb shit the president elect says he want to do his second term or some idiotic appointment
He's made to his cabinet
So it's no wonder why people are so afraid and paranoid and
Fearful of each other, you know, we're basically locked in our you know our homes and we're afraid to venture out
We're afraid to talk about what's going on
And we're afraid to venture out. We're afraid to talk to people
So I'm not going to be labeled a point if you get it you get it
But it would really behoove you especially if you're really serious about unlocking your best life
To stop watching the news or at the very least
Significantly reduce your intake of it
And trust me the really important stuff it will still make its way to you
Trust me by way of co-workers neighbors family and
Those major headlines that just can't be avoided. So you're not going to be in the dark
You're not going to be in the dark. Okay. I stopped watching news over a decade ago
Now I still watch political news, you know, especially if it was an election year like we just had because I enjoyed politics
but after
after this last election I
Decided to just disconnect from the news all together even the political stuff
It's just too toxic. It's too toxic. It's too dark
So I'm choosing not to participate in any of that or engage of any of that
I'm not interested in the president elect or any of his projects or plans for the country
Whatever he's gonna do is just what it is
This is what the majority of the people want it
You know and vote it for so everyone is just gonna get what they get
But as for me and my household, we're gonna continue to serve Jehovah
We're gonna continue to focus on positive things
Okay, that move our lives forward as best we can
So
So, yeah, I strongly encourage you to limit
Reduce or eliminate your consumption of the news. It doesn't have to be forever. It can just be for an interim period
You know why you're detoxing from all this negativity and infusing your mind with positive thoughts. Okay?
All right on to power move number two
The next thing I want you to detox from is social media
Okay, listen, I know this one is kind of a difficult one. Okay, but we're talking about changing and improving your lives here
You know, this is not supposed to be an easy process. That's why I call it power moves
Okay, social media in and of itself is not bad
And you know, if it's used effectively, it can be a powerful
tool to promote
positivity and effect change on a global scale, right?
But on the flip side of the coin
It can be a very disruptive
psychologically damaging and
Huge distraction for our lives
Let me ask you this. How many of you guys ever take a look at the screen time reports on your phone?
I used to never really pay attention to them. I would just kind of say
I never really pay attention to them. I would just kind of scroll past it
But one day I clicked on it and I was astonished at my screen time
Like in one day it showed that I had spent a total of five. No, 4.5 hours
Just on Instagram
4.5 hours on Instagram in one day
And when I dive deeper into the screen time data, I noticed that it wasn't just that day. It was a trend
And that's when I realized just how much of my time
Which is the most precious resource we have right time
Just how much time I was spending on social media
And you know, it would be one thing if I was profiting off of my social media like
Millions of people are doing I'm not there yet
But you know that wasn't the case for me. It was just kind of mindless scrolling
Of just random stuff with no
Stuff that had no real value
You know, there might be a few inspirational or aspirational posts or something
But it was nothing that was going to
Substantively
Help to move my life forward in any meaningful way
So I was like, no, no
I'm not about to give up any more of my precious time
On these apps, especially if I'm not getting paid
Right? Instagram got to go
Facebook by I never really dealt with Facebook too much. Anyway, Facebook. Okay. So this is why I don't like Facebook
I'm gonna go off on a little rant Facebook. I feel like it
Reintroduces you or resurrects old relationships and friendships that have passed and that season has passed in a little bit
And those people are you know
You're not supposed to reconnect with everybody from high school and college and
Exes and all that. That's why I don't like Facebook
You know, I don't like it. Anyway, let me stop tick tock
Huge waste of time for people. Okay. I ain't talking about people that get paid off of tick tock
If you get paid off of tick tock and Facebook and it's good for you keep doing it
But I have I have a cousin
Who is obsessed
with tick tock
And some of y'all already know who I'm talking about
her main way of communicating on our group chat
And shout out to my cousin's not an adria an angel by the way, you know
Our group our little group chat gets me through the day a lot of times
but
Yeah, her main way of communicating is sending tick tocks
Of the most horrific
Youthless posts you can think of
Stuff like
um
12 year old shoots mom in the face
7 year old hung by fourth graders in a school bathroom
I'm just like
Why is any of this morbid stuff on your timeline and what makes you think that I want to see it
I don't want none of that morbid stuff. You know on my spirit
So when you're talking about making power moves and focusing on changing your life
A lot of this type of stuff has to go it got to go
All of the mindless scrolling on these apps
Unless you're leveraging them to promote your business or your side hustle
I would just delete them
right
Replacing with something like audible
Audible okay, so audible isn't just for ebooks. They have podcasts. They have series
They have live performances all types of stuff, you know, or you can just grab a real book
Hail start writing a book
But don't give your most precious resource to social media when you could be using
Your time for something more constructive
Something that's going to get you closer to achieving your goal
Okay. All right. We're going to move on
power move number three
detox from negative people
All right, so
This power move is probably going to be the hardest one for you to do
uh
Because negative people in our lives are
More than likely the people we're already close with or in close proximity to
It could very well be the people we love our family and our friends
Um, it could even be your spouse or your partner in some cases
You may be the negative person in your life right now and that's okay
You know, I've certainly been in my own way before so I'm not judging
We're all on different paths of of progress here
But as long as you have an awareness and a willingness to improve your life, then you're going to be just fine
But uh over the course of our lives, you know, we can accumulate a lot of associates
A lot of angers on a lot of fair weather friends and foe friends and what I call frenemies
There may be people in your life right now who are in your inner circle
or have direct access to you and
Probably shouldn't
So
during my last deployment to Saudi I had this friend named Emily
Okay
Now Emily and I were
co-workers
Actually, she was one of my direct reports
And you know typically I wouldn't engage with co-workers
or direct reports outside of work
Let alone develop a friendship
but
You know given the nature of her role in the organization and you know
Working in such close proximity and being in a deployed
Environment overseas where you're away from your family your friends, you know your support system
A friendship just sort of happened organically. So, you know, I didn't fight it
Um, I wouldn't say we're friends today
We haven't spoken in
Over six months now
And uh, you know, I'm at peace with that
You know sometimes
People coming to your life for a season, you know, and you have to be
Discerning and knowing when a season has passed
so
When the communication between me and Emily just got to the point where I was
He and Emily just sort of organically stopped
I kind of just knew the season of our friendship had come and gone
And if we're not in tune with ourselves spiritually
We can actually prolong
Seasons with people that were supposed to end
So, but anyway during the short time of my friendship with Emily we learned
Not just a lot about each other
But we learned a lot from each other and one of the biggest lessons I learned from Emily is
To always take inventory of the people in your life
And by take inventory, this is what I mean
Who is in your inner circle?
Who are you spending the most time with who has your ear?
Like who do you who do you talk most on the phone with? Who do you trust your secrets with?
Who do you take advice or constructive criticism from?
Who ministers to you spiritually?
Who are the givers who are the takers who are the people?
That you check in on you know to make sure they're okay
And most importantly, who are the people checking in on you?
That last question tells you everything you need to know about the people in your life
And this is what Emily helped me to appreciate during our brief friendship
During that brief friendship. She noticed a lot of things about me
Emily was very
Observant I want to say nosy. She was nosy, but she was very observant, but not in a bad way
You know not in a malicious way
But she observed how generous I was
When it came to friends and family
And people I cared about she noticed how I
Even though I was overseas how I do my best to stay connected with my loved ones and
How I spend a little gifts here and there
And
There was this one time
I was going through a really rough patch
Emotionally
And she was doing what you know friends are supposed to do. She was being encouraging and she was being
reassuring
and
She asked me a very important question that I'll never forget
She said
How many of the people you always send money to ever call to check up on you?
You know to make sure you're okay to make sure you had enough to eat
To see if you needed anything
Just to see if you're alive
and
I just looked at her because
It was one of those questions that didn't really
require an answer
and
after a moment of silence
Because I didn't answer the question. I just kind of looked at her. I was like
You know wow just kind of had this blank stare and she said
She was from El Salvador, so she had a strong accent. She said honey. I want you to do something
Take out your phone
And open your cash shop, and I want you to calculate honey. How much money you are sending out these months?
And uh, so I did I did it. I did it
I went and calculated that I opened up my cash app and I'll never forget it
I when I opened up my cash app and I totaled just what I had sent that month
I had sent a total of
$500
Um, this is a little over 500, but basically $500 to
Um
Just people and the month before it was a little over $400
$400
And a month before that it was about
$375
It's some change so
On average I was sending out
About $400 a month and love offerings and gifts and you know donations and what have you
And on top of that
I was the one calling and I was the one texting and
emailing and video calling
You know just to make sure everyone was okay doing my best to stay connected with everyone while I was overseas and
um
You know despite that distance still be a good friend try to be a good brother a good uncle a good godparent
and
In retrospect, I understand a lot of what I was doing was being done out of a form of survivor's guilt
But even with that aside still
things seem to be kind of lopsided
a lot of effort and
um
Trying seem to only be coming from my side
And so Emily invited me to conduct a little social experiment. She said I want you to do this, okay?
Because I want you to do this I want you to do this honey because I need you I used to be just like you
I used to be checking up on people making sure everyone was okay
Helping financially just give give give. I love how she talked by the way. I kind of miss Emily
Um
But her point where she used to be just like me
She used to be the one checking in being the one, you know sending money here and there making sure everyone was okay
and she talked about how
People can sometimes develop a sense of entitlement
instead of being grateful
uh an appreciative
And she was like if you don't watch it honey, some of these people
They'll start to view you as a cash cow and they'll even resent you honey when you stop giving them money
So you have to be really careful. Believe me honey. It happened to me. You know, that's how she talked
and uh
So she said I want you to do this. She said go silent
for three months
She said don't initiate any calls text emails all this stuff don't initiate anything. She said only respond
Okay, her point was
You'd be surprised at how many people in your life can go weeks
or three five six months and be okay with not hearing from you
Or even bother to check up on you to see if you're okay
And I really give it to Emily
after my little uh
Social experiment, I you know, I think I did like three months at my little social experiment was over
I had a very small circle
Of people who actually cared enough to check in on me and to see if I was okay during that time frame
It was very eye-opening
and you know, it gave me the awareness I needed in terms of
prioritization
and refining my social circle and
uh limiting direct access
to only those few people who I knew I could really rely on right
Not everybody deserves to have close access to you. That's what I'm saying
And that includes a lot of people in your own family
Unfortunately
But I want to encourage you to do a similar experience
or experience experiment
Maybe not for an entire like three months like I did maybe just do it for one month
But you do need to take some sort of inventory of the people who are in your life and you need to
assess who your givers are who your takers are
Um, who
All is only when they need something
You know, who calls just to see how you're doing
Who is the one bringing drama and problems and chaos and confusion who's always complaining?
You know, who who brings positivity?
Think about those types of things. Who are the who are the most negative people in your circle?
And once you complete your inventory, you need to make adjustments accordingly. All right, and I'm going to tell you something else
Be prepared to be a little lonely during that time
And getting your feelings hurt a little
But in the end, I promise you it's going to be a good thing, but really do try that experiment. Okay?
All right
Power move number four. We're still on our detox now
Power move number four detox from negative emotions
We all know what negative emotions are and
That they block our blessings and positive things from, you know, happening in our lives
um
emotions like guilt
envy
What's another one hatred resentment
Unforgiveness that's a big one grudges
and gossip
I'm not going to touch on all of these. I'll just uh, I'll speak briefly on the ones I feel people struggle the most with
Let's start with guilt
Okay
Is there something in your life that you feel really guilty about?
Maybe it's how you acted in your first marriage or your last relationship
or
Maybe you regret how you treated your kids when they were younger
Or maybe you didn't get an opportunity to rebuild a relationship or forgive someone before they passed
Look
Don't beat yourself up over something you did in the past or that you regret
It's been done. You can't undo it. You can't unsay it
All you can do is learn and grow from it
and
Not make that same mistake again
And mistakes are just reminders that we're human
You know, we learn we grow
Hopefully we grow we move on
And if you really want to kick it up a notch
Teach others how to avoid the same pitfalls that you experienced
You know, that's something I'm doing
um
What's another one unforgiveness
Let's talk about that one
Because this is a big one for a lot of people and I've had my own challenges with this
Until you finally get that
Holding on to unforgiveness only hurts you and I know we've heard it a thousand times
I've heard a thousand times, but until it really sinks in
And you realize that all the resentment all the anger
All the unforgiveness towards folks who've hurt you
It hasn't moved your life forward one inch
In fact, it keeps you tethered to the past and
Holding on to a version of a person that may even no longer exist
Think about some of the people you may have heard
Remember how you were back in the day
Remember how you didn't
Consider other people's feelings that much or maybe used to be really flippant with your mouth
Like I used to be you know, but look how much you've changed over the years. That's not even you anymore
But there may be someone out there that you heard all those years ago
That may be still holding on to that old outdated version of you
You see how unfortunate that is
That they're missing out on this wonderful person that you blossomed into
So don't you be that way forgive people who hurt you
You know it it doesn't mean you have to renew a connection with them
It doesn't even mean you have to say hello
When you see him in the street, it just means
I acknowledge that what happened happened
I've accepted the fact that
No, no matter how many times I relive it how many times I you know agonize over it. I can never change it
And that saying upset behind it only prevents me
From fully enjoying the life that God put me here to enjoy
And
You know, it can be a long road to finally get to that place and that's okay, too
At least you're trying at least at least try
You know, I finally arrived at a place where I can forgive my eldest sister
So something she said to me and then my other sister
Something I wouldn't tell a person on the street
Let alone a sibling
But I'm finally at a place of forgiveness
And letting it go
Let me say this real quick and I've learned this in therapy. I want to pass it on to you
I want to pass it on to you. Closure is an inside job
Okay, if someone hurt you
Or you hurt them or you both hurt each other however it went down
You do not need to have a conversation
Or interaction with that person in order to have closure and heal
Once I really got that it was huge for me
And having that understanding helped me to make peace with and forgive my eldest sister
Now granted it took about a year
It took about a year
I see you Alicia. Thank you for listening in it took about a year because all of this happened about a year ago this this month actually
My sister said something really awful to me and my other sister
and
Listen, I can be a real bitch when I want to be
trust me and
You know, even I would have never said what she said to us
but
Whenever someone said or does something to hurt you
Especially if there was an intent to hurt you
You're going to go through the whole process of emotions that anyone would go through. Okay
So
That's normal
And I would definitely
Give yourself some grace in that regard
But you know if it's been five
10 15 years and it's like, okay
How is holding on to this serving you?
What are you getting out of it? What's the end? What's the end game here?
You know, are you going to write a book about it and then finally let it all go like what's the plan?
And I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal because you know, I was able to forgive my sister
You know, it trust me. I struggled with this. I call her all types of
dumb bees and stupid bees and selfish bees. You know just everything
but
when I thought about our mother
and
How upset she would be
behind this type of division
and how the only thing she wanted was for us to
To
Be there for one another and stay close to one another
I
I wasn't going to do anything to further
perpetuate
that division among us
And I've been working. I'm not going to cry. I'm not
um, I've been working really hard to let that go
And to not speak negatively of my sister
Or just if I can't say anything nice just just don't mention her name at all
but even in my anger
I had always left the door open for my sister to call or text to
Make a means if that's something she wanted to do
um
I've not received that call or text yet, but hey the door is still open
You know, I'm accepted to at least a conversation
um
I could be the bigger person and reach out
Um, I thought about that. I really did think about that, but I'm not going to do that
Because this is not my wrong to write
um
I'm the agreed party in this situation
You know along with my other sister. So this is not really for me to fix
It's time for my eldest sister to act like the eldest and you know be the bigger person
And take accountability and just apologize and be like look y'all I I didn't mean it
Or yeah, I did mean it, but I don't want to feel that way and I miss y'all
That's all we're looking for
We know you meant what you said, but
Can we at least talk about it and for the sake of our mother not allow this
division to continue
Anyway, we were already we were all raised by the same woman. It's just like I just don't I don't get her
um
Anyway, I don't mean to drag everyone into our family business
But I wanted to take an opportunity since we're talking about toxic emotions
And unforgiveness being one of the biggest ones. I want to at least
Try to use a personal example to humanize this point
In hopes that some other family might be able to benefit, you know
um or be able to heal a fracture or a division that exists in their family
you know, um it's something that's been bothering me for a while, but you know
There's always an opportunity for healing so I just thank y'all for letting me bend about that
We're going to take a quick commercial break and when we return
We'll pick up where we left off and discuss the five additional power moves
You can make today to unlock your best life in 2025. We'll be right back
Oh
It was nothing I could conceive When you lived inside of me
It was nothing I could conceive That you wouldn't do for me
Do for me
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive
That you wouldn't do for me Do for me
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive
That you wouldn't do for me Do for me
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive
That you wouldn't do for me Do for me
When you lived inside of me It was nothing I could conceive
Before the break, we covered the first four power moves, which focus mostly on detoxing from negativity and several aspects of our lives.
Now that we've discussed how to move negative influences out of the way, we're going to start developing some winning habits that's going to take us to the next level in unlocking our best lives.
So let's get started. Power move number five, challenge beliefs that no longer serve you.
Now we're all familiar with the popular scripture at Proverbs 23-7 that says, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
And what I take that to mean is that our beliefs, and I'm not talking about our religious beliefs, but our beliefs in terms of the stories we tell ourselves.
Let me give you a few examples of some common beliefs that people have about themselves.
And I'm going to try to animate some of these for you, okay?
Every time I try to do something good it backfires.
I always end up ruining every relationship I'm in.
I could never get on the stage and speak to a crowd.
It seems like every time I take a step forward, I end up taking three steps back.
We've all heard this though. I know we may laugh at someone, but we've all, those are real beliefs that people, you know, have said, we may even say them, you know.
But remember what it said at Proverbs 18-21, death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
So one of my beliefs that I'm really trying to uproot is this core belief that I'm a clumsy person.
So ever since I was a child, I've always knocked stuff over, dropped stuff, spilled stuff, broken things.
And so I grew up with this idea or belief that I was just clumsy and with nothing I can do about it.
I was just clumsy. And it didn't help that I had this whole Steve Urkel vibe and persona going on when I was younger.
That didn't help at all. But because that has been one of my core beliefs, it's been really hard to uproot it.
And I have to continue to have conversations with myself and watch myself talk.
I still have instances where, you know, I'm knocking stuff over, even in my 40s, still knocking stuff over and I'm struggling trying to rewire my brain to uproot this belief.
You know, just the other day I spilled a whole big ass cup of green tea on my beige carpet.
And my first instinct was to fuss at myself.
Andre, you were so damn clumsy, but I caught myself. I caught myself that time.
And instead I was like, okay, Andre, it was just a mistake. It could have happened to anybody. It's just cleaned it up.
Yeah, there's going to be a stain there, but whatever. Could have been worse.
You know, so that's just one example of uprooting negative beliefs that, you know, we have about ourselves.
We have to constantly monitor our self-talk.
And a lot of these beliefs that we carry by ourselves and speak out loud about some of them, like the one I just mentioned about being clumsy, that's like a trivial one.
But there are also beliefs that we carry that can distort our reality and our overall perception of ourselves.
Stuff like telling yourself you're not smart, telling yourself that you're, you know, unlucky and all this other stuff.
You know, all of that stuff really does have an impact on our lives, whether we mean it or not.
And then you're going to manifest that stuff in your life because it's your belief system.
So things are going to happen that reinforce that belief like, see, see, I'm always dropping shit. I'm clumsy.
Change that narrative. You have to catch yourself 100 times a day, then do that.
All right, so take inventory of your beliefs and work hard to group the ones that no longer serve you.
All right, we're going to move on.
So already, oh, 10 minutes.
Okay, look, power move number six, practice mindfulness.
So this power move is really sort of an extension of what we just discussed.
When I say practice mindfulness, what I mean is be fully present and fully aware of the current moment.
You know, and there are a number of ways we can try to achieve that.
For one, we should be mindful of our thoughts.
So think about this over the course of a day, we will be bombarded with thousands of thoughts and images.
Many of them might be negative.
While we can't stop these thoughts from coming to mind, we do have the choice to decide which thoughts that we're going to hold on to or magnify.
And a lot of times these negative thoughts still just keep trying to infiltrate our spirit and it can be persistent.
You know, I'm afraid such and such is going to happen or, oh my God, what if I can't pay this bill or I hope he's not out cheating.
I hope she's not out cheating.
You know, when your mind is constantly on one of these negative tracks, you have to find ways to intercept and interrupt those thoughts.
And the best way to interrupt thoughts is by speaking out loud.
Okay, that's why God gave us the power of the tongue.
Our words have the power to hurt or heal, to speak death over situations or to breathe life into situations.
So when your mind starts in terms of all that negative thinking and, you know, oh, I never have any, I never have enough money or, you know, every time I get a dollar, I can't keep it.
No, what's the opposite of that?
God is my provider.
He provides for all of my needs abundantly.
You know, I'm having a bad day.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
This just ain't my day.
No, this is the day the Lord has made.
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
So that's what I mean by practicing mindfulness.
And you can also do this by taking deep breathing exercises, you know, prayer, meditation, all of that.
Just some sort of mindful practice every day that you can use to center yourself and clear your thoughts.
Okay, moving on. Power move number seven.
I hope you all are writing these down.
Start a gratitude journal.
Now, this is one of my favorite power moves because if you only did this one thing out of all the stuff we talked about tonight, it will completely change your life.
The first time I heard about a gratitude journal was on Oprah back in the early 2000s.
I started using a gratitude journal back then, and I've been practicing gratitude and keeping a journal ever since.
And it's nothing fancy.
It's just a clean notebook from a dollar store or something.
Keep it by your bed, write gratitude journal on the front of it in big letters with a sharpie.
And every night before bed, make a list of at least, you can do more, but at least 10 things that you're grateful for.
And it could be the simplest stuff.
And sometimes that's the best stuff to the journal.
Stuff like, I'm grateful that my children had a good day at school.
I'm grateful that there's no pain in my body right now.
I'm grateful that there's food in my cupboard.
I'm grateful that my bills are paid this month.
I'm grateful for the compliment the lady gave my hair today.
You know, just little stuff like that.
And you'd be amazed at how that little practice will completely rewire your brain and give you an entirely new perspective on life.
So try that one tonight before you go to bed.
All right, power move number eight, write the vision, create a vision board.
Now this one is my second favorite one next to the gratitude journal.
This is my second favorite.
Creating a vision board is going to be essential to manifesting your goals and the life that you want.
And you know, this can be a fun creative exercise.
This is what it's meant to be as fun as creative.
You can do it with your kids or something.
We even have, you know, vision board parties with their close group of friends.
Long as they're like-minded and they're on the same wavelength about manifestation and living the life of your dreams.
And it's very simple.
All you need is a poster board.
If you don't have a poster board, a piece of paper does the same thing.
But get a poster board, some sharpies, some markers, get some scissors, glue.
If you're into glitter, get you some glitter, you know.
But most importantly, you're going to need a bunch of like random magazines.
You can get them from your job, you can get them from your doctor's office.
You probably got something lying around your house.
But once you have all your supplies, go through those magazines and cut out words and images and pictures that illustrate or represent the life you want.
Things that you want.
If you always saw yourself on the beach, pictures of beaches, you know, or if you always wanted a boat, cut out pictures of boats and put down your vision board, whatever you want to manifest.
And don't worry about how I'm ever going to afford a boat or how I'm ever going to-
Don't worry about all that.
Put what you really want to see in your life on that board.
That's your board.
And this stuff is more powerful than what you think.
But the key is to get really creative and make it something that you look at every day.
You just look at it on your way out to work and you smile and you remember what you're working towards.
Right?
It's designed to be a tool that you can use every day to visualize your future.
And you might even want to take a picture of it and make it your screen saver on your laptop or your cell phone.
That way you can kind of look at it whenever you want.
But seeing those images every day, it will draw your vision to you.
It will draw it.
You know?
So definitely start working on that so you can have it ready for the new year.
Okay?
All right.
Power move number nine.
Do something that challenges you.
So let's talk about comfort zones real quick.
We all have comfort zones.
We like our comfort zones.
It's a safe space.
But here's the thing.
There's nothing exciting or groundbreaking or life changing that's happening in a comfort zone.
And if you're staying in your comfort zone too long, that's how we become stagnant.
You know?
I remember when I finished my doctorate.
My doctorate took me five years to complete.
It took years.
And by the time I was in year four working on my thesis, I was like, you know what?
After I finished this, I ain't doing shit.
I ain't going to normal school.
I don't want to see a classroom.
I'm retiring from life.
I ain't doing nothing.
I had been on this treadmill for so long of setting goals and achieving and what's the next thing?
That just wasn't in me.
I couldn't relax.
I couldn't take a break.
I couldn't just be normal and do nothing.
It just didn't feel right.
You know?
That's one of the reasons why I continue to do this show.
Not only because it helps so many people and all the feedback I've gotten.
It challenges me.
Y'all, I have a fear of public speaking.
Even though y'all can't see me right now, this stresses me out.
This makes me nervous.
It gives me jitters.
It's a good jitters, though.
I'm still challenged by this show because I'm not naturally a public speaker.
I'm very shy and introverted.
So doing this show is something that continuously challenges me.
And so that's why I continue to do it because I don't want to become stagnant.
Okay?
And it doesn't mean you have to do something crazy like clown, Mount Everest, and do a triathlon.
It can be something as simple as when you have company meetings or something.
If you're normally the quiet one, maybe speak up and say something at that meeting.
Or learn some type of new skill or tackle a fear, like public speaking or something else.
The point is to push yourself just enough to feel a little uncomfortable.
And I'm telling you, that discomfort, that's where your growth happens.
It's kind of like lifting weights.
When you first lift weights for the first time, it's heavy, it feels kind of awkward.
But over time, your body gets used to that weight and then you increase it.
It's the same thing with challenging yourself, same concept.
You'll build confidence, you'll build resilience.
And it's great to be able to look back and say, you know, I did that.
I did that. I didn't think I could do that, but I did it.
You ain't got to do it again, but you can always look back and say, I did that.
You know what I'm saying?
So my challenge to you is this.
What's one thing you've been avoiding because it scares you a little bit or scares you a lot?
Start small, but just start today and stretch those comfort zones.
And stretch those muscles because on the other side of that fear,
on the other side of that is the life you've been dreaming about.
Okay?
All right, we're at the top of the hour.
We got power move number 10.
This is the last one. Okay?
And thank you guys for hanging in there with me tonight.
Power move number 10.
Put something positive out into the world every day.
And before you say, look, Dr. Andre, I'm not Gandhi.
I don't have time to be spreading sunshine and all of that.
It don't have to be some type of grand gesture.
Okay?
Positivity can be something simple as like smiling at a stranger.
When you normally have a resting bitch face.
Okay, y'all out there, y'all know if you have one of those resting bitch faces,
where it just looked like you have an attitude, looked like they're the problem.
You got that don't fuck with me face.
You know if you got one of those faces.
Just try smiling just for no reason.
Don't give a crazy smile.
People think you're insane, but just smile at someone.
Just that little thing.
It sounds simple, but it could make someone's day or just try giving a genuine compliment.
Not a fake one.
A genuine compliment to someone like, girl, your hair.
Oh, I love your car.
Just something or send a quick text to someone just to say, hey, I love you or hey, I'm thinking about you.
I hope you're doing all right.
Back in the day, I used to, I know we're going over time.
I used to text random Bible verses to just random numbers.
I would just make up numbers and just send texts to people with these scriptures or whatever.
And, you know, largely I didn't get a lot of responses from those, but it wasn't about that.
You never know, you know, because God said my word is never going to come back.
Boy, you don't know if that scripture could have hit somebody at the right time or changed the whole trajectory of their life,
or just got their day off to the right start.
You don't know.
We don't never know.
And sometimes I did get messages back to, hey, thank you.
Or sometimes I got, hey, go to hell or whatever.
But, you know, just try to put something positive out.
You know, even if it's on social media, even, you know, share a post that's inspiring or, you know, just don't be arguing with strangers and stuff on Facebook.
Just say something positive.
If you're going to be on that stuff.
And here's why this type of stuff matters, the energy that we've put out into the world, it comes back to us.
You know, if you go around radiating positivity, you're going to attract positivity.
And like I said, you never know how much of a difference that small act of kindness may make in someone's, you know, life.
You could change your mood, change your day.
They might say, you know what, I'm going to go smile at somebody.
I'm going to smile as a stranger.
You know, be careful who you smile at, too.
Some of these people are crazy, but just the point is to put some positivity out in the world.
So that's your homework.
That's your homework.
Get your vision board together.
Start your gratitude journal.
Put positivity out in the world every day.
You know, create your own, your own style with it.
You may not be the text scripture type, but do something else.
All right.
Okay.
I need to hug.
We're going to great episode.
We covered a lot.
Tim Power moves that can truly help unlock your best life.
We talked about taking inventory relationships, starting gratitude, gratitude journal, creating a vision board, meditating, challenging yourself, putting something positive in the world.
All this stuff is practical stuff, you know, that we can start right now so we can start improving our lives.
Get a head start on this new year.
Don't wait to January 1st to start all this stuff.
Start now.
So that way when you get to January 1st, you can be like, look, I got this.
Let's go.
Let's get it.
So, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in to Live with Dr. Andre tonight.
Your support means everything to me.
Don't forget to check out our show's homepage at artistfirst.com for more updates and information about the show.
And if you enjoyed this episode, make sure you follow us on YouTube and Spotify, Amazon Music, all those platforms so you'll never miss an episode.
And mark your calendars for the next episode, which is going to air Christmas night.
Okay, Wednesday, December 25th at 8pm Eastern.
It's going to be a special episode so you don't want to miss it.
Until then, I wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving.
Enjoy your family.
Reflect on all your blessings.
We are so blessed, y'all.
And take some time to appreciate this holiday season, okay?
So from my family to yours, happy holidays and have a good night.
Bye, y'all.