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Ready for you to start the conversation.
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To bring us all the good news.
Dr.
Andre Jerry.
Hello everybody and welcome to live with Dr. Andre Jerry. I am your host, Dr. Jerry.
And listen, I'm very excited to be back live on the air with you all after a month long hiatus.
Look, okay, I didn't intend to take a hiatus, but as you all know, sometimes life forces you to take a break, right?
We don't have a guest for tonight's show. Instead, what I wanted to do was use this episode to speak directly to you and just share a little bit about what's been going on with me.
And as always, I want you to leave the show more informed and better for having listened.
Okay, so shout out to Freddie Valoi, my favorite comedian.
Mike Epps was actually my favorite comedian, but to me, he's just no longer funny.
I don't know if you guys have watched his new special on Netflix.
It wasn't funny to me. I'm sorry.
And I love Mike Epps, but I can only remember laughing out loud maybe twice during the end of the show.
I don't know. I don't know. I digress. But anyway, shout out to Freddie Valoi, who guest hosted our last live episode of December.
Freddie, you did a fantastic job and you're welcome to come back and guest host any time.
Special shout out to my good friend Edwin, who's listening in from Puerto Rico.
And congratulations are in order for my friend Emily. She's listening in all the way from Saudi Arabia.
She just became a new grandmother today. So welcome baby Eva and best wishes to the mother and to the family.
All right. So let's get into it. So if you've been following the show,
you know that I transitioned back to the States this past October after being deployed on a diplomatic assignment in Saudi Arabia.
Well, since returning to the States, I've been battling illness after illness. My family can tell you this.
I'm someone that's very rarely ever sick. You know, it started off with cold and flu symptoms when I first got home.
And it seemed like forever before, you know, I got over that.
And then there was about a week where I felt normal and then I end up catching another cold.
But this one was 10 times worse. And I just felt miserable.
I was like, you know what? This isn't a regular cold. Let me take my ass to the doctor.
You know, so I took I took my ass to the doctor and it turned out that I had a sinus infection.
Well, OK, my doc gave me a steroid shot and he gave me some antibiotics.
And, you know, in a couple of days, I was I was much better.
And, you know, a couple of weeks passed and I end up getting another sinus infection.
And that's when I was like, OK, what's going on? Because I do not get sick like this.
So, you know, it just made me it made me take a real hard assessment of, you know, what was going on in my life and what's been happening with me lately.
And that's when I started to kind of piece things together.
You know, I was just coming off of an extremely stressful deployment to Saudi Arabia.
Since getting back home, I was drinking pretty heavily.
Remember, when you're in Saudi, you don't have access to alcohol.
You know, some people do. But for the most part, there's no drinking.
There's no anything in Saudi Arabia. So, you know, when I got home, you know, I just kind of let loose and I was drinking a lot.
I was exercising, but not as regularly as I was in Saudi.
I had a pretty poor diet when I got home, which is eating any and everything, you know, not being eating or anything like that, but just could have did a better job of what I was consuming.
And I was in a toxic environment. And I'll give you more on that later.
Some of you already know where I'm going with this.
So anyway, look, let's circle back to the stressful deployment.
So this last assignment I was on in Saudi Arabia was only for six months.
But when I tell you that it was the hardest six months that I've had in a long time.
One. OK, so I was leading to geographically dispersed logistics teams, one back state side and the other in Saudi.
So, you know, a lot of times I was working around the clock.
I would be covering meetings that were happening on the East Coast.
And I was also managing the logistics activity that was happening in Saudi Arabia.
So I was putting in 10, 12 hours a day easy.
You know, so that's a lot in and of itself.
And, you know, while I was there, unfortunately, I discovered that one of my guys were allegedly, you know, after the use the word allegedly.
You're not going to sue me.
Found out that one of my guys were allegedly misappropriating government funds.
And, you know, so that unfortunately became a full blown investigation.
And we're talking tens of thousands of dollars in this case.
You know, so when you have that level of alleged misuse of government resources,
it's going to require a substantial amount of investigation and documentation.
And for me, you know, this ended up being countless hours in labor just to get the documentation in order and not to mention the scrutiny that it brought to the organization.
OK, so then there's that.
And if that wasn't already enough going on, I was actively enrolled in Air War College, which for those who don't know what Air War College is, it's a rigorous professional military education program.
So it's designed Air War College is designed to help develop strategic leaders and enhance your critical thinking in support of national security measures.
So just again, very rigorous course of study on top of everything else I was dealing with.
And don't let me forget, I was also at odds with my boss during this entire time that I was in Saudi.
And I'll tell you about that briefly.
So essentially, we were not in agreement about how to handle the employee who was allegedly misusing government funds.
Right. The bottom line was that he didn't want me to report it. Just period.
He didn't want me to report it. Now, whether that was to protect himself or the employee, only he can answer that question.
But turning a blind eye to potentially tens of thousands of government dollars being allegedly misappropriated, that was not going to happen on my watch.
And my whole point was, you know, you can talk all of this shit from where you're sitting back in the states and take this, you know, hands off, hear no evil, see no evil approach.
But I'm the one that you sent there to represent the organization and the United States.
And I'm seeing with my own eyes what's been happening and seeing the discrepancy in our books and in our inventory.
And you want me to sweep all of that under the rug? No, sir. Not on my watch.
So it was a very stressful six month deployment, to say the least. But, you know, I'm not complaining because when you're in leadership, these are the types of things that you're required to do.
And I get that. But just think about it. I'm under an extreme amount of stress for six months and then everything just stops.
We finish the investigation. I complete my assignment. I graduate from Air War College, all of this in six months.
So my body was operating on pure adrenaline at the time. And so, you know, at this point is mid September.
And I said, you know what? I want to treat myself for all of this hard work that I've been doing and take myself on a little vacation.
So I went to Maldives for a week. Maldives, Maldives, however you say it.
That turned out to be a trip from hell. And that's a whole other episode in itself.
Don't get me wrong, Maldives is beautiful and all of that, but it was the trip from hell. I'm not even going to get into it.
But put the stress from my work aside, I didn't even consider, guys, the wear and tear that all of this international travel was having on my mind and my body.
So in within two weeks, I flew from Saudi to Maldives, then from Maldives back to Saudi and then finally from Saudi back to the States.
Do you know how many travel hours that is? That will make anyone sick. You know, it's a lot to put your body through.
And I just didn't consider that at the time. I didn't. You know, so I get home. Well, wait, before I get into that, let me let me preface it.
I have a house back in the States. It used to be my primary residence. But when I started all this overseas travel, I converted into a rental property.
And thankfully, I have long term tenants at my house who they've been taking great care of the house. You know, and so I always tell people who have rental property.
When you find tenants that are taking good care of your property and they're not causing you any problems, they're paying on time, leave them the hell alone.
Let them let them stay for as long as they want. Don't go up on the rent unless you just absolutely have to. Right.
So anyway, enough of that. A few months prior to me coming home, I contact one of my best friends and I ask if I can stay with him for a couple of months when I get back until I can find a place to stay.
And, you know, because I really didn't want to displace my tenants. They're great. Even though they're on a month to month, you know, they pay on time. They never ask me to fix anything.
They just leave them the hell alone. So, you know, he's like, you know, yeah, bro, no issue. You know, I got you. You're welcome. So I'm like, cool. Great.
Okay, here's what I didn't consider. So I've lived with this guy before. We were roommates back when I first started working for the government.
And I've been living with him for many years and years ago. He was going through his divorce. You know, his wife kicked him the hell out. He had got a three bedroom setup somewhere.
I'm new to town. He worked on base. I worked on base. I need a place to stay. It just made sense. So we end up being roommates. And, you know, from there we just clicked and we've been best friends ever since.
So it just made sense that he'd be the one I reach out to and, you know, ask to stay at his place for a few months until I found another house or something.
But what I didn't consider was that this time around it was going to be a little different, a lot different, because it just wasn't going to be me and him this time.
I was a girlfriend now, a live-in girlfriend at that. But even with that, you know, I didn't think anything about it because we were all friends and, you know, we hung out pretty regularly.
We went hiking, you know, partying, you know, this and that. So I would even, you know, stay at their place when I came home on break from Saudi for like a week or two.
So I really did not think twice about it when I asked him. But what I learned is that there's a big difference between staying with your friend and staying with your friend and his girlfriend.
That changes the dynamic a bit, especially when you're talking about staying a few months versus a week or two.
Nonetheless, I'm not thinking any of this would be an issue. I promise you I'm going somewhere with this. So my friend makes me welcome to stay at his place, you know, until I find a place of my own. Great.
So I arrived the first week of October, and, you know, I thanked him for, you know, letting me stay at his place. I told him, look, I'll be out your hair by the end of the year.
He was like, cool, man, you know, glad to have you here. Make yourself at home. Bet. So things are off to a great start. You know, we're all hanging out. We're laughing.
We're joking. We're partying. We're traveling together. We're, you know, eating great meals. Everything is cool. You know, and I wasn't even there like two weeks before my friend was like, look, hey, man, look, if you need to stay longer,
you know, you're more than welcome. You know, don't feel like you have to rush to get out of here by the end of December. I'm like, okay, bet. I appreciate that. You know, so things were looking good. No issues.
So about, let's say, just a few weeks in, they start having, I'll call them communication issues. You know, they're always having some little petty arguments and stuff like that. I'm used to that. But if nothing really serious.
Well, this particular issue was kind of serious. And I ended up getting pulled into the middle of it, like I always do, because everybody likes to make me the mediator in their drama, you know, and I hate that.
It's such a weird position to be in when you're friends with a couple, and then, you know, they have some type of issue and you find yourself in the middle of it.
But I'm a bro's over hoes guy. You know, I don't care what anyone's opinion of that is. That's just how I roll, particularly if me and my bro were friends first.
You know, that's not going to mean that I'm going to not tell my brother when I think he's wrong or if he's being fucked up about something. But what I'm not going to do is allow a woman to come in between me and my friend.
And like I said, particularly if I met them first, my allegiance is going to be to him, to my friend. You can take that how you want it.
And, you know, when it comes to family, though, I don't feel that way. I think all of that goes out the window. Blood is thicker than water, you know.
But anyway, I'm getting off the topic. So my friend and his girlfriend, they're going through their issues. I'm caught in the middle.
Basically, my friend was – I'll say he was wrong. He was wrong in this particular situation. But, you know, he acknowledged his wrongdoing. He apologized.
And from what I could see, he was doing his best to make things right. I don't know what more you can ask from a person who made a mistake, you know.
I'm not going to throw my friend under the bus or toss him away just because he made a mistake. I've done dumb shit, plenty of dumb shit, you know.
I don't want to be thrown away. You know, that's not fun. So I do it by my friend.
And, you know, I think that's where the issue started with me and the girlfriend now that I'm actually talking through this because we're just speaking candidly here.
Like I said, I don't have a guest. I don't have notes or a script. But now that I'm thinking through this, I think that's where the issue started with me and the girlfriend, you know.
So just imagine, there were three people living under the same roof. You know, this issue that I described earlier is not resolved, like not by a long shot.
You know, he and I are okay, but he and his girlfriend, they're not in a good place, you know. They're sleeping in separate rooms. That's weird.
The vibe in the house is just off. It sucks. It's just not a good situation, you know. So we keep pressing forward somehow.
You know, my friend and I, we're hanging out. Remember, we don't have an issue. So we're hanging out. We're watching movies. We're laughing. We're talking, doing what bros do.
Well, guess who starts to develop like an attitude? Guess who's slamming cabinets and clanging dishes just in the kitchen, making all sorts of obnoxiously loud noises while we're like trying to have a good time and watching movies.
You guessed it, the girlfriend, you know, to the point to where, you know, we stop and just pause everything. We're like, hey, are you okay? You know, is everything good?
You know, and then she was like, no, you guys just continue watching your show. Kind of like that. So, you know, I'm like, oh, okay. I see the vibe. I see the vibe we got going, you know.
So that was my first, you know, inkling that this dynamic, this living arrangement may not work out the way that I thought it was going to work out.
You know, so I started to make some changes and put a little distance in between myself and them.
I wasn't being antisocial or anything like that, but I did avoid situations where we'd all be in the same room or the same car.
So about a week passes, so I'm there for like a month now. It's been a month. And I'm not going to freeload on anybody, you know, friend or not. That's just how I am. So, of course, I'm going to pay my friend rent while I'm there. That's no issue.
So early one morning, I cash out my friend the money for the rent and I put a little extra in there just for miscellaneous stuff, you know, utilities and groceries.
And, you know, I drink up his wine. He always reminds me how I drink up his wine and stuff, you know. So I put a little extra in there, groceries or whatever. She wouldn't let me use a place to live yet.
So she would let me use a car. I gave her a little extra. And plus, I knew that she had recently been laid off from her job not long before I came back from the States.
And, you know, I know how that goes. I've been there. I've been laid off before. And so I just wanted to send her some little extra pocket money or whatever, you know. So I did that.
And I know to some that may have been unnecessary, but I did what was in my heart to do at the time, you know, even with her acting funny, you know, around that time.
So fast forward to later that same day, I get off work and it's on my heart to stop by the store and just pick up a few things for the house, you know, stuff that I've been using while I've been there, you know, laundry detergent, fabric softener, those downy beads, just, you know, whatever, laundry stuff.
So I bring the stuff home. I put it in the laundry room without anyone noticing. When I get to the living room, and this is where I should mention that my friend runs an Airbnb in his house.
Okay, so I get to the living room and my friend, he tells me and his Airbnb guest that was there that he liked to speak to both of us about something.
So, I know my friend and I could just tell that whatever he wanted to talk to us about was not a fun topic. It wasn't going to be a pleasant discussion. So, you know, we're like, yeah, sure, you know, what's up.
Well, before he could really get into it, his son called him and he's the type, any one of his children calls, he drops everything. So he went into, you know, his office to take the call and the Airbnb.
Waves of sadness from out of nowhere. Instantly you feel a weight of despair, a subtle heaviness that leaves you drained and a lingering loneliness that remains.
Suddenly there is no reason to smile and then you become angry for a while lashing out at anyone near, especially the ones you hold dear imprisoned by your own emotions unsettled by the lack of control.
Trying to make sense of it all. Meanwhile, it takes its toll distancing yourself from family, pushing your friends away, knowing in your heart that maybe you'll need their support one day as your despondency becomes palpable and more real.
You find it difficult to express how you feel. So you become quiet and do your best to disguise it. But there is no denying it. There is something wrong because nothing you do feels right.
The sadness is overwhelming, but you're too angry to cry. Deep into the pit of self pity you're hurled where you realize you're not depressed. You're mad at the world.
This poem written by Dr. Andre Jerry is entitled Mad at the World from his literary debut Write or Die, Expressions of Life, Love and Loss, Volume 1, available exclusively on Amazon and Kindle.
Write or Die is more than just a collection of poetry. It's a lifestyle, a call to action to its readers to consider expressive writing, such as poetry, as a catalyst for healing, growth and change.
Write or Die assists the reader in a way that's relative to them and helps to identify their own emotions. Each expression is poetically written in an elegant style that's helpful to the reader.
For each expressed title motivates in a personal way, providing pure insight and introspection. Having triumphed over his own trauma and adversity, Dr. Andre Jerry has proven how powerful expressive writing can be to the healing process.
If you're feeling stuck in an emotional state that's keeping you from achieving your highest potential, consider expressive writing as a tool to help identify and release negative thoughts.
Purchase your copy of Write or Die, Expressions of Life, Love and Loss, Volume 1 by Dr. Andre Jerry, available exclusively on Amazon and Kindle.
Back to live with Dr. Andre Jerry. Okay, so apparently we had some technical issues and I got cut out when I was telling you guys about my story. So I don't know where I left off, what you all heard.
So what I'm going to do is just pick back up where I think things kind of got disconnected and we'll just go from there. Hey, this is live radio, so you just got to roll with it, right?
So I was telling you guys about the, you know, I'm staying with my friend, you know, and his girlfriend and there's starting to be some little issues there.
So I'll just pick up where, what was it? Okay, so I'm paying the rent, right? I'm paying because I'm not going to freeload on anybody. I'm going to pay the rent.
That's just the type of guy I am. And one morning I sent my friend a cash app and like I said before, I don't know if you heard this part, but I put a little extra in there just to take care of some miscellaneous things that I was using around the house.
You know, I drink up all his wine and, you know, we all eat, you know, at dinnertime. So just for whatever he wants to use the extra money for, utilities, whatever. And on top of that, I gave his girlfriend some extra money, just some pocket money because I had learned while I was there that she had recently got laid off from her job a couple of weeks before I arrived from Saudi Arabia.
So I've been laid off before. I know what that feels like. I know how bad that sucks. So I just wanted to do something kind. And so I did that. And so when I get back from work later that day, and I don't know if you caught this part before we got cut off, the Lord just put it in my spirit to stop by the store and pick up some laundry items.
Because I've been there a month at this point. I'm washing clothes. We're all washing clothes. And I saw where it was getting low. And so I picked up some laundry items and when I got home, I picked them up, put them in the laundry room without anybody noticing.
And when I went into the house, my friend wanted to say he wanted to talk to me and another guest that was there. And so he ended up bringing us into the man cave and we're like, hey, what's up?
So he starts off with this whole thing with, you know, guys, we're all staying under the same roof and, you know, there are things that we all commonly use in the house. And if you use something and you see it getting low, please replace it.
And then he goes on to say, you know, and if you didn't buy something, don't eat it. So let me give you a real quick backstory to this. That same morning that I was telling you that I sent the cash app and the extra money to the girlfriend and da da da da da.
On my way out the door, I grabbed an orange from the fruit basket. Okay. Little did I know another guest who was also staying there during that time. He grabbed an orange on his way out the door.
So I guess the girlfriend must have made a comment to my friend about her oranges being taken, which would explain the comment that he made about, you know, if you didn't buy it, don't eat it.
So, you know, I'm just listening to my friend, you know, say all of this and I'm fuming. I'm fuming inside because first of all, I don't appreciate being talked to in this rudimentary fashion.
Like, you know, I'm some child or something. And plus, I know where all this is coming from. And it's coming from his girlfriend. And, you know, beyond being pissed, I'm offended because I literally just replaced all of the laundry items.
In addition to sending extra money for stuff that I've used. And on top of that, I sent the girlfriend money just out of sheer kindness, you know, knowing she wasn't working.
So I just let my friend finish what he had to say. And I shared my thoughts on the matter. But at the end of the day, I just let it go. It's not worth it. Wasn't worth ruining a friendship over, you know, especially when I knew that it was the girlfriend who was behind all of this.
So after that, you know, I was kind of done. I was like, you know what, I don't want to be around this woman. I'll speak to her. I'll be cordial. But, you know, the days of us all hanging out, you know, as a throuple and all of that, that's over.
You know, so after that, it was, it was really icy in the house for a few weeks. I won't lie, you know, to the point to where the girlfriend, and she does this, she just does this every time she gets mad.
She had packed up all her little shit, you know, and was, you know, gonna do this whole act like she's gonna leave and whatever. And, you know, once again, my friend asked me to intervene and make peace with this woman so that she would stay.
And I was like, you know, let the bitch go. You know, she ain't bringing shit to the table anyway, but toxic energy and problems. I said, let her go. You know, but he begged me to make peace with this woman. You know the word I really want to say. I'm trying not to say it.
And I was like, you know what, because we're friends and because I love you, I will make peace with this hoe. So, you know, he called a meeting with all three of us and I make peace with this woman and just clear the air as much as possible.
Okay. After that, things get somewhat better, but I'm still not really feeling this woman. A few weeks later, we're all in the kitchen. Okay. So, she's telling us about one of her Filipino friends, the girlfriend, she's also Filipina.
She'll tell us about one of her Filipina friends who was married to a black guy and how the black guy cheated on her with one of the wife's friends and she ended up making this comment that all black guys are cheaters, you know, kind of like in a joking way, but I knew she was wasn't joking.
And I took offense to it. I did. I was like, first of all, it's not fair to generalize all black men as cheaters. That doesn't even make any sense.
You know, I was like, so the white man she's married to now, has he cheated? And if so, are all white men cheaters? You know, and second of all, if that's the case, you're dating and living with a black man yourself. So what the hell are you talking about?
You know, she just pissed me off. And you're not going to say some racist, ignorant shit in front of me and not get challenged. That's just not happening. So, you know, I said to her, that's like me saying all Asian women are peaceful and submissive, which we know isn't true because you're full of hell.
And then she got mad then and she's gonna storm out. But my point is, if you can dish something like that out, you need to be able to take it. So, you know, I didn't care about her being upset. People need to choose their words carefully, you know, especially around me.
So that's when I was really like, I got to get the hell out of this house. You know, I love my friend and we're cool, but I'm not staying here with this toxic woman. So that's when my search for an apartment began.
You know, I wanted to wait until I found another house and get another house. But, you know, the hell with that when it comes to, you know, my peace of mind, I don't play around. So eventually, you know, I got my own place and it's great.
But I want to share with you how I left because about a week before I moved out, the Lord put it in my heart to leave with kindness. Right. That was constantly on my spirit and I didn't want to leave with kindness. I was mad. I was like, you know what? Fuck this.
I'm leaving this toxic shit, Craig. Shit, I didn't mean to say his name. Whatever. Y'all know who I'm talking about. Fuck it. I was like, look, I don't have no issue with you, but I cannot live in this toxic house with this woman.
But the Lord just kept putting in my spirit, leave with kindness, you know. And so that's what I did. I got two cards. I got a card for Craig. It was a hospitality card that just said, you know, thank you for your hospitality.
I got him his favorite whiskey. And for her, I got her a card that said, you know, thank you for everything. Wish you all the best. And I got her some flowers. Okay. I had to grit my teeth and do this because I was mad.
I'm sorry. I was mad. I'm not Jesus. I'm trying to work on myself and I'm doing my best, but I'm not Jesus yet. Okay. So I had to grit my teeth and do that. But I know when the Lord is speaking to me and he told me to leave with kindness.
So I got a card. Some of you know this story. And anyway, so I put the cards on the kitchen table. They weren't home at the time. Put my friend's gift, his whiskey, and I put her card with the flowers.
So I leave, go about my business. I come back later that night. My friend had put the card I got him on the refrigerator. I'm like, oh cool. You know, you got my card and clearly liked it and was proud of it. Right.
So I went to go throw something in the trash in the, in the kitchen. When I opened the trash, guess what was in the trash? Yep. The flowers.
I was like, look at this toxic witch. And I was like, you know what? I, oh, I'm done. I am done. And that's when I was just like, you know what? F her.
If I saw her on the street and it was raining and her car broke down, I promised you I would keep driving. I would keep driving. I will keep driving.
I am done with her. It's just, I can't, I don't have nothing else. I, you, when you take somebody's, I had to grit my teeth to get you the flowers anyway.
And then you're going to take it and throw it in the trash like it ain't shit. I was just like, you know what? Toxic. Let me get out of here.
So that's what happened with that. Nonetheless, I'm in my apartment now. It's peaceful. It's quiet. It's mine. You know, it's not a toxic environment. I can do my thing.
I was able to maintain a friendship with my friend because I knew, I know what was going to happen if I continued to stay there.
I was going to end up cussing her out and then he and I would end up falling out. And it just wasn't worth, she is not worth losing that friendship.
So just out of respect for myself and my peace and my friend, I got my little shit and I left. So that's a little bit about what's been happening with me lately.
Right now what we're going to do is take another quick little break and when we return, I'll share a little bit more about what I've been going through since my return from Saudi.
So I'll share that when I get back. We'll return shortly. Thanks.
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Hey everybody, welcome back to Live with Dr. Andre Jerry. I'm your host, Dr. Jerry. And if you're just joining us, I've been sharing with the listeners about some of my exploits since returning from my diplomatic assignment in Saudi Arabia this past October.
Before the break, I talked about some of the stressful moments I had while in Saudi and about a personal situation with friends that I had recently. And I'm laughing now because I'm getting the text message feedback from my friends and family.
And they're telling me you're doing great and watch the language and all that. I try not to use profanity on my show, but sometimes, like Scott and I were talking about, sometimes you just have to.
But anyway, so I'm happy to be in a different place, figuratively and literally. I'm loving my new place. I'm just trying to get back to myself. One of the things that I wanted to say is that anytime at the start of a new year, there's this pressure to, this is a new year, this is a new me, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that.
Sometimes after a long and rough and stressful year, I don't know how your 2023 was. Sometimes in January, instead of just going on 10 and fall and fall, this popular new year, new me crap, sometimes you just need to take a break and just maybe take a nap and just take a breather.
And largely, that's what I had to do in January, and that was part of the hiatus that I took. I just didn't have the energy. I'm being very real right now. I did not have the energy to try to find a guest for this episode.
I didn't feel like reading any books, and I just did not feel like it. I'm in a new job. I'm still kind of winded from last year and everything that I was having going on. And so I just want to focus on getting reset.
I'm still, yeah, it's almost March, but I'm still in a bit of a reset, y'all. I'm still trying to figure out, okay, I did a lot. I accomplished a lot last year. What is it that I want to do this year? I don't have to do 10,000 things.
I can do just two or three things, two or three things that I want to knock out this year. I don't have to overwhelm myself and put so much pressure on myself. Do you know what I mean? I think a lot of us do that. At least I do. So I'm just going to take it easy on myself this year.
I am going to be productive. I am going to have goals and aspirations, but I'm not going to do this whole laundry list of 10 and 12 things. I did all that last year. I need a break.
So you're going to see live with Dr. Andre Jerry take a little bit of a different direction as we get through subsequent episodes this year. Just kind of try to tweak things a bit, you know, because we're coming on almost two years on the air this year, later this year.
So that's quite an accomplishment. And shout out to the Artists First Network, who's been good to me since day one. I really appreciate this platform and really feel blessed that I've been able to have this platform and introduce the people that I have been able to introduce to you all.
So I'm still very much committed to bringing value to the listeners. I don't know what form that's going to take just yet, but just bear with me. We're going to be just fine.
And I think we know I know that we have some great shows in store for you. So what else has been going on this this this past few months or whatever?
Therapy. Let's talk about therapy. So let's backtrack a bit. While I was in Saudi, I utilized the help of a, I won't say life coach. What's the right terminology to use? I guess it would be a life coach.
Reginald Bullock. He guest hosted the show in either November or October, one of those months when I was traveling. He guest hosted the show prior to Freddie Valoy, and he also did an excellent job.
He life coached me through pretty much the better part of 2023. And if you have the resources, you have the the outreach, I would definitely look into getting a life coach.
There are all different types, depending on what your goals and ambitions are. For myself, I'm trying to break through to that next level. You know, I'm doing great in my career. I'm doing great in growth as an individual, but I want to be better.
You know, I'm in leadership now. And I think it's important when you're in leadership, and it's incumbent upon you to make sure that you are the best leader that you can be for your people. It doesn't mean that you're going to be perfect, but you need to take your leadership role seriously.
And as I ascend in the ranks in my career, I want to make sure that I'm doing right by the people who are under my leadership. So that's why I invested in myself and got a life coach and it's reaped dividends for me.
Again, doesn't mean I'm perfect, but it just means that, you know, I've taken that extra step. And, you know, sometimes you have to reach outside of yourself and take advice from someone who has been in the rooms that you're trying to get in.
And that leads me into therapy.
So, when I got back to the States, I won't get into the whole maladise trip because that's skirting, you know, a little bit too personal type stuff. But let's just say that I did, I was not as healed as I thought I was.
I still had a lot of triggers.
And
I just kind of thought to myself like, you know what, I shouldn't have these triggers. There's still something going on with me that's not all the way healed.
And so I promised the person that I had issues with that I would seek therapy, because clearly there was some something else going on.
And so I worked with wonderful trauma expert and therapist, Corey George. He's also been on my show numerous times and he hasn't guest hosted, but he has appeared several times on my show and will be back soon.
But unfortunately, he's had a death in the family recently, but we're going to get him back on the show soon because he, when I tell you he's dynamic.
If you, I'll say this, if you have any type of trauma in your life.
You have to go back and heal that.
There may be a traumatic event or events that occurred when you were a child or teenager, what have you. If that is not healed properly, you are going to run into issues in your later years.
They may not cripple you or what have you, but you'll just notice your reactions to things like what, what is this reaction.
You know, this reaction is abnormal. This reaction is coming from a unhealed place of trauma.
And so I'm one of those people that I always like to get to the root and origin of stuff. So I decided to work with Corey, not in a collaborative fashion, but as a client.
You know, I'm trying to introduce you to all of my listeners and stuff. I need to be sitting across from you in a chair. So, you know, we started working together and he's just fantastic.
He just gets it. He's worked through his own trauma and he, he, he knows trauma. He knows what it takes to get through that.
And what I love about working with Corey is that he's able, he has a unique ability to, he takes you all the way back. I'll just use myself as an example.
There was a traumatic event that happened to me in school, junior high school. And a few of my family and friends may know the story. I won't get into the whole thing, but something very embarrassing happened to me in junior high school.
I was 13. I was already dealing with a lot, but you know, I was the nerdy kid I've shared this many times, the nerdy kid. I was bullied a lot, verbally abused, not physically.
I was verbally abused almost on a daily basis at school, in the bathroom, in between classes, in the classroom, on the bus, just anywhere. School was like a hell zone, war zone for me. And I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell them all.
I'm going back to Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi. Wasted, can't take it.
Taking me a break from all the Tito's I've been drinking. Spending all my dimes on that black box wine, cause I'm trying to keep these hating ass niggas off my mind. I'm flying first class, don't need a buddy pass, just a diplomatic passport to get me through the airport.
I'm chilling at the lounge, they never keep me waiting. Keep pouring them drinks till I reach my destination. I'm going back to Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi.
It's like my second home. The Arabs are exotic. I can't leave them alone. They like the taste of chocolate. Sexy, erotic. And if you like the finer things than money, ain't no object. I'm going back to Saudi. Saudi. Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi.
Baby, tell me not to. I'm going back to Saudi. Just in the nick of time. I'll party with the Saudis at the end of Ramadan. And when they on that shisha, it's nice to meet ya. So let's go do our thing while we sip Saudi champagne. I'm going back to Saudi. Saudi. Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi.
Baby, tell me not to.
If I meet a sheik, I may never come home. Just give me a week. I just might show my camel toe. I'm going back to Saudi. Saudi. Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi. Baby, tell me not to. I'm going back to Saudi. Saudi. Saudi. I'm going back to Saudi. Baby, tell me not to.
You're back live with Dr. Andre Giri.
Hey everybody, sorry about that. So we've had more technical difficulties. We're having some interesting weather here in Warner Robins. So maybe that's what's going on. But nonetheless, hopefully we can get through the last leg of this show without any further technical hiccups.
Not sure where we got cut off, but I'll just pick up on where I think things got cut off. So I was telling you about investing in a life coach and also investing in therapy.
And so I've been working with Corey George and we've had numerous sessions. And one of the things I love about Corey is that he is a trauma expert and he really decodes and breaks down trauma.
And so one of the things I was sharing before we got disconnected was that if you've had a traumatic event in your life or traumatic events, you really have to go back and make sure that you clean that up and heal those events, heal from them.
Because if not, what you'll find is that you will have reactions to certain things. You'll get triggered. We'll call them triggers.
And you'll find that your reactions are completely like coming from an unhealed place. And so that lets you know that you have trauma that was not healed.
And long story short, that's what happened when I was in mal-dives. I had a trauma response. I was triggered by something and I just went off.
And you ever go off and you're like, wait a minute, that was not called for. What's going on with me?
So that's what led me to make sure that I made it a priority to get back into counseling once I got back to the state.
So I've been working with Corey George. He's wonderful. And what I was saying earlier was that one of the things that Corey George does in his trauma recovery is that he takes you back to that event.
So imagine you're in a session, you're closing your eyes, and he's going to ask you to take – walk him through that traumatic event that you had.
But the catch here is when you go through this event, he allows you to reframe it and react how you want to react today.
In my case, I was – I'll just say it. I was slapped. I was slapped in the middle of the cafeteria in seventh grade in front of everybody. Everybody laughed.
Like you remember the movie Carrie, where the blood fell on her and everybody was pointing and laughing. That was me. That was me.
That happened to me in real life just in a different version. And I was so humiliated and traumatized. And I just froze. I didn't hit the guy back. I just froze.
I don't know what was going on with me. I just could not move. And it was by far the most humiliating thing I've ever gone through.
And so what I've been having over the years is a trauma response to that because I have been so upset at myself for not fighting back that anytime anyone tries to even remotely bully me, I go off.
My guard is up. I'm ready to fight because I'm trying to relive that incident that happened to me and it sounds great.
And so that – because that was unhealed, I noticed that my responses to certain things, I would get triggered on certain things. And so I had to go back and fix that.
So he walked me back through that. And he said, okay – he walked me all the way up to the moment where I was slapped. And he was like, now what do you want to do?
And I always said that if I could go back to that time, I would fuck that boy up. Excuse my language. I would fuck him up. I always said if I could go back, I would do that, just like if anyone put their hands on me today.
But when he walked me through that and it was so surreal, I didn't want to hit the guy. I was able to see what – I was able to somehow see his side of things.
Someone dared him to slap me. And the kid that slapped me was not a bad kid. He wasn't even a bully, one of the kids who would normally bully me. He just wanted to be accepted.
And so it was a social contract. He didn't want to slap me. He didn't want to hurt me. But he had a social contract to do something that would allow him to have access to tears and to be liked by the group of people he wanted to be liked by.
And when I walked through that story again, I could see his face. I looked into his eyes. I could see it. His eyes did not say, I hate you. I'm coming to hurt you. His eyes said to me, I don't really want to do this, but I'm up here and I'm in front of you now, and I have to follow through with it.
That's what I saw when I'm not going to cry either. And Stephanie, you hush. That's my sister. You hush. That's what I saw. And he said, now what do you want to do? This was after he slapped me. And he – you know, we're walking through this story.
I said, I just want to hug him. All these years I said I would fuck that boy up if I could go back. And when I went through that story again, all I wanted to do was hug that young man. He was a kid just like I was.
And he was just wanting to be accepted just like I was. That's all it was. And I finally was able – and Cory George, thank you so much. And we'll talk about this when I – I'm going to have him back on the show soon.
I was able to heal from that after what, 30 years, 30 plus years. And it really – I've noticed that ever since we had that session, my reactions to things have been different.
I still get mad. I still get pissed or whatever. I still use a little colorful language here and there. But it's nothing like the anger and frustration that I've been carrying with myself because I didn't fight back.
So those – that's why I say therapy is very important. And if you have the resources, if you – please invest in yourself, whether it's a life coach, whether it's a therapist, make that investment because it will pay dividends.
And you'll go further. You'll reach your goals faster. So I hope you learned a little something from that story. I don't mind being a little personal here and there, especially if it's going to help somebody else.
But get therapy. It doesn't mean you're crazy. Everybody has traumatic events. So if you feel like there's something that's holding you back, just work on it and be open to the idea of talking with someone about it.
It doesn't – you don't have to cost you money. You can call a family member and say, listen, girl, I just need you to listen to me for a minute and I'm probably going to cry or whatever.
Just let me cry. But I need to get this off my chest. It can be as simple as that, you know. And if you want me to refer you to Corey, I will. But when I tell you he is a trauma expert, he is a trauma expert.
So anyway, that's – we're going a little bit over time, but that's what I wanted to share with you guys. I've been having a lot going on since I've been back from Saudi. I'm sorry for all the technical hiccups, but hey, it's live radio and those things happen.
What I want to do is I want you to have a great night. But listen, I want you to join me for our next episode. It's going to air Wednesday, March 27th. So our show is every fourth Wednesday from 8 to 9 p.m.
So make sure you put us on your calendar. We're going to be discussing on the next show the psychology of money. It's a really interesting book by Morgan Howell. And it touches on wealth and greed and happiness. So it's going to be good.
Definitely be sure to tune into that episode. But until then, guys, thank you so much for listening to me branch and carry on. Have a great night, and we'll see you in the next episode. Good night.
Bye.