WEBVTT 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:32.520 good morning or perhaps depending on when you're 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:37.799 watching this good morning or perhaps depending 00:00:37.799 --> 00:00:41.460 on when you're watching this in your newly unstructured 00:00:41.460 --> 00:01:02.899 existence good afternoon now for 40 years Good 00:01:02.899 --> 00:01:06.680 morning, or perhaps if you're watching this in 00:01:06.680 --> 00:01:09.700 your newly unstructured existence, good afternoon. 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:13.739 Now for 40 years you've known exactly who you 00:01:13.739 --> 00:01:17.900 are. You were the director of regional logistics. 00:01:18.299 --> 00:01:21.359 You were a senior analyst in risk compliance. 00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:25.680 You were that guy who knew how the legacy AS400 00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:31.859 system actually works. You identified Your identity 00:01:31.859 --> 00:01:36.159 was printed on a small rectangle piece of cardboard. 00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:54.760 It cost a million. Starts again. Good morning, 00:01:54.859 --> 00:01:58.439 or perhaps, depending on when you're watching 00:01:58.439 --> 00:02:01.140 this in your newly... unstructured existence. 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:06.340 Good afternoon. For 40 years, you've known exactly 00:02:06.340 --> 00:02:10.819 who you are. You were director of regional logistics. 00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:14.819 You were a senior analyst in risk compliance. 00:02:15.259 --> 00:02:19.180 You were that guy who actually knows how the 00:02:19.180 --> 00:02:23.740 legacy AS400 system works. Your identity was 00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:26.659 printed on a small rectangular piece of cardboard, 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:31.490 usually accompanied by A logo that cost £3 million 00:02:31.490 --> 00:02:35.870 to design and looked suspiciously like a mustaka 00:02:35.870 --> 00:02:39.710 accidentally drawn by a child. And then came 00:02:39.710 --> 00:02:44.229 Friday. There was cake in the break room, store 00:02:44.229 --> 00:02:46.569 -bought of course, slightly sweating under a 00:02:46.569 --> 00:02:51.490 plastic wrap. People vaguely tolerated signed 00:02:51.490 --> 00:02:54.729 a card with a generic well -wishers, secretly 00:02:54.729 --> 00:02:58.840 terrified that they were next out the door. So 00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:02.020 you hand it in your laptop, your badge, and your 00:03:02.020 --> 00:03:21.039 sense of purpose. Now, it's Monday morning. The 00:03:21.039 --> 00:03:25.139 alarm didn't go off at 6am. The adrenaline... 00:03:26.120 --> 00:03:29.819 The alarm didn't go off at 6am. The adrenal gland, 00:03:30.039 --> 00:03:34.120 usually pumping cortisol in anticipation of the 00:03:34.120 --> 00:03:37.460 morning commute and the inevitable passive -aggressive 00:03:37.460 --> 00:03:40.639 email from HR, is actually dormant. The house 00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:45.159 is quiet, ghastly quiet. You walk into the kitchen, 00:03:45.300 --> 00:03:49.400 you make a coffee, you sit down, and at 8 .30am, 00:03:49.620 --> 00:03:52.580 the precise moment you would usually dial into 00:03:52.580 --> 00:03:55.800 the... APAC weekly sync call to listen to someone 00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:58.620 explaining why the numbers are down in Singapore, 00:03:59.020 --> 00:04:02.780 you realise something profound and terrifying. 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:10.599 You've got absolutely nothing to do. And more 00:04:10.599 --> 00:04:28.519 importantly, you've no idea who you are. Today's 00:04:28.519 --> 00:04:33.759 video is for the newly retired, those brave souls 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:43.379 like me who have stepped off the corporate hamster 00:04:43.379 --> 00:04:45.779 wheel only to realise that they've forgotten 00:04:45.779 --> 00:04:49.790 how to walk on solid ground. We're discussing 00:04:49.790 --> 00:04:53.610 the crisis of identity that occurs when the professional 00:04:53.610 --> 00:04:57.050 mask is removed and the subsequent realisation 00:04:57.050 --> 00:05:00.050 that there might not be much of a face beneath 00:05:00.050 --> 00:05:04.670 it. Now in Western society, particularly in the 00:05:04.670 --> 00:05:09.370 Anglosphere, finance... Now in Western society, 00:05:09.649 --> 00:05:13.629 particularly in the Anglosphere... Now in Western 00:05:13.629 --> 00:05:17.769 society, particularly in... Now in Western society... 00:05:18.520 --> 00:05:20.740 Particularly in the finance and the business 00:05:20.740 --> 00:05:24.660 world, we have this grave philosophical error. 00:05:24.939 --> 00:05:28.620 We've confused what we do with who we are. Now, 00:05:28.660 --> 00:05:32.220 this is understandable. So for decades, the first 00:05:32.220 --> 00:05:34.579 question anyone asks you at dinner party is, 00:05:34.620 --> 00:05:39.920 what do you do? And that's shorthand for, where 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:50.449 are you in the cycle? Now, a Western society, 00:05:50.730 --> 00:05:53.250 particularly in the finance and business world, 00:05:53.329 --> 00:05:56.470 we've committed this grave philosophical error. 00:05:56.589 --> 00:06:00.910 We've confused what we do with who we are. This 00:06:00.910 --> 00:06:03.410 is understandable for decades. The first question 00:06:03.410 --> 00:06:07.350 anyone asks you at a social gathering is, and 00:06:07.350 --> 00:06:10.370 what do you do? Now, it's shorthand for placing 00:06:10.370 --> 00:06:13.949 you in that kind of social hierarchy. It says, 00:06:14.110 --> 00:06:17.389 are you useful? Are you important? Do you make 00:06:17.389 --> 00:06:20.379 more money than me? When you're working, the 00:06:20.379 --> 00:06:23.800 answer's easy. I'm a bond trader. I'm a corporate 00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:27.860 lawyer. It's a shield. It's an armor. It tells 00:06:27.860 --> 00:06:33.019 the world that you matter because someone's paying 00:06:33.019 --> 00:06:37.279 you a salary to occupy a space in an office tower. 00:07:01.840 --> 00:07:05.800 But on that first Monday morning of retirement, 00:07:06.259 --> 00:07:10.779 the armour's gone. You're like Napoleon on St 00:07:10.779 --> 00:07:16.000 Helena. You have the muscle memory of commanding 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:19.920 armies, but your current jurisdiction is arguing 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:22.519 with the seagull over a crust of bread in the 00:07:22.519 --> 00:07:27.040 garden. Suddenly, you're just Bob. And Bob is 00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:29.639 finding that without that external validation 00:07:29.639 --> 00:07:33.959 of a... quarterly review or a team of subordinates 00:07:33.959 --> 00:07:38.100 to feign interest in his jokes. Bob is remarkably 00:07:38.100 --> 00:07:43.560 a thin concept. The psychological term for this 00:07:43.560 --> 00:07:53.980 is enmeshment. Your professional life and your 00:07:53.980 --> 00:07:56.980 personal identity have become so intertwined 00:07:56.980 --> 00:08:00.720 you can't pull them apart. Not without damaging 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:03.959 the whole structure. You weren't just doing a 00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:09.300 job. You were the job. Now, you've spent a lifetime 00:08:09.300 --> 00:08:13.620 outsourcing your self -worth to an employer who 00:08:13.620 --> 00:08:15.899 would replace you within a week if you dropped 00:08:15.899 --> 00:08:27.439 dead at your desk. And now you're receiving... 00:08:27.769 --> 00:08:31.870 your self -worth back depreciated like at least 00:08:31.870 --> 00:09:02.740 bnw with too many miles on the clock The immediate 00:09:02.740 --> 00:09:06.019 reaction to this void on a Monday morning is 00:09:06.019 --> 00:09:11.139 panic, followed swiftly by bad advice from well 00:09:11.139 --> 00:09:14.700 -meaning friends. They'll tell you that retirement 00:09:14.700 --> 00:09:19.000 is a black slate, a second act. They will use 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:23.720 words like passion and reinvention. Usually, 00:09:23.940 --> 00:09:38.019 I'll try to sell you a timeshare in Malaga. Society 00:09:38.019 --> 00:09:41.139 tells you that the solution to this identity 00:09:41.139 --> 00:09:45.500 crisis is being busy. You must immediately take 00:09:45.500 --> 00:09:49.200 up golf because golf is the methadone clinic 00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:53.120 for type A personalities. Addicted to frustration 00:09:53.120 --> 00:10:03.440 and incremental meaningless achievements. Addicted 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:06.580 to frustration and... incremental meaningless 00:10:06.580 --> 00:10:12.200 achievements if not golf you're told to learn 00:10:12.200 --> 00:10:17.240 italian or write that novel it was been threatening 00:10:17.240 --> 00:10:20.019 to write but let me say for some time the world 00:10:20.019 --> 00:10:23.679 does not need another thriller about a retired 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:41.649 cia agent pulled back in for one last job This 00:10:41.649 --> 00:10:45.889 advice fails because it tries to solve an existential 00:10:45.889 --> 00:10:50.129 problem with a scheduling solution. You don't 00:10:50.129 --> 00:10:54.090 need something to do at 10am on a Tuesday. You 00:10:54.090 --> 00:10:59.269 need a reason to be at 10am on a Tuesday. Filling 00:10:59.269 --> 00:11:03.269 your diaries with activities just to avoid sitting 00:11:03.269 --> 00:11:06.110 quietly in a room alone with your own thoughts 00:11:06.110 --> 00:11:12.000 is not a retiring plan. It's a desperate... Reagard 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:46.240 action against terror. So how do you transition 00:11:46.240 --> 00:11:50.960 from being a human doing to be a human being? 00:11:51.399 --> 00:11:54.820 Now, the first step on that difficult Monday 00:11:54.820 --> 00:11:58.919 morning is to accept the brutal truth of your 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:03.879 new irrelevance. Now, the market has closed on 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:07.399 your professional career. The ticker tape has 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:12.120 stopped. The emails filling your inbox are now. 00:12:12.490 --> 00:12:15.330 and the offers for Viagra and notifications that 00:12:15.330 --> 00:12:18.509 your extended car warranty is about to expire. 00:12:27.529 --> 00:12:35.409 What's up? This sounds depressing, but it can 00:12:35.409 --> 00:12:39.070 be liberating. When you were director of sales, 00:12:39.230 --> 00:12:42.399 you had to care about things that... didn't matter. 00:12:42.539 --> 00:12:47.139 You had to feign enthusiasm for synergies and 00:12:47.139 --> 00:12:51.080 paradigm shifts. You had to wear pants with a 00:12:51.080 --> 00:12:57.740 zipper every single day. The process of finding 00:12:57.740 --> 00:13:03.740 out who you are without the job begins by embracing 00:13:03.740 --> 00:13:13.679 the silence. It involves a great deal of subtraction 00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:17.440 before you can begin the addition. You have to 00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:21.580 scrape off the barnacles of that corporate speak 00:13:21.580 --> 00:13:25.820 and professional posturing that you've adhered 00:13:25.820 --> 00:13:40.759 to over the half of the last 40 years. to understand 00:13:40.759 --> 00:13:45.200 that your jog was largely a performance. You 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:48.860 were wearing a costume, but now you're naked, 00:13:48.899 --> 00:13:53.039 it's drafty, and you probably don't look as good 00:13:53.039 --> 00:14:07.080 as you thought you did. The transition. requires 00:14:07.080 --> 00:14:10.759 shifting your metric of success from external 00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:15.679 validation to internal curiosity. And the people 00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:27.580 who I know who successfully navigate this transition 00:14:27.580 --> 00:14:32.019 don't try to replicate the high stakes environment 00:14:32.019 --> 00:14:37.409 of the trading floor. in their garden shed. Instead, 00:14:37.690 --> 00:14:41.210 they rediscover the things that they were interested 00:14:41.210 --> 00:14:45.309 in before they decided they needed to make six 00:14:45.309 --> 00:14:48.490 figures of suppose a mortgage on the house they 00:14:48.490 --> 00:15:01.970 never spent any time in. Bout you were interested 00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:06.200 in. 18th century naval history before you got 00:15:06.200 --> 00:15:10.500 distracted by EBITDA. And go read about it. Not 00:15:10.500 --> 00:15:13.480 just become a professor. Not to write a book. 00:15:13.799 --> 00:15:17.559 Just because you want to know what happened in 00:15:17.559 --> 00:15:25.039 the Battle of Trafalgar. The goal is to replace 00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:29.759 the focused structure of employment with a self 00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:33.919 -imposed structure of intellectual engagements. 00:15:34.159 --> 00:15:38.299 It doesn't matter what it is. It matters that 00:15:38.299 --> 00:15:42.919 you're doing it because you choose to, not because 00:15:42.919 --> 00:16:14.299 your camera and bike told you to. Furthermore, 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:20.059 you must rebuild a sense of utility that's not 00:16:20.059 --> 00:16:25.799 tied to a payslip. We're social animals. We need 00:16:25.799 --> 00:16:30.940 to feel useful. In the corporate world, utility 00:16:30.940 --> 00:16:34.019 is measured by how much money you make for the 00:16:34.019 --> 00:16:38.139 shareholders that you'll never meet. In the retirement, 00:16:38.299 --> 00:16:41.799 utility looks different. It might mean... Fixing 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:44.960 your neighbour's fence or mentoring someone younger 00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:48.080 than you is currently suffering through the same 00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:52.340 corporate hell that you've just escaped. Or simply 00:16:52.340 --> 00:16:57.000 being the person who has time to properly cook 00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:03.879 dinner. Now it's smaller, yes, and it's less 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:07.460 glamorous. Less glamorous than clothes and that 00:17:07.460 --> 00:17:11.420 big deal in Zurich maybe, but it is real. And 00:17:11.420 --> 00:17:15.539 unlike the causally earnings report, it actually 00:17:15.539 --> 00:17:36.539 matters to the people around you. Now, that first 00:17:36.539 --> 00:17:40.539 Monday morning is hard because it's the funeral. 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:45.059 for the person that you thought you were. Let 00:17:45.059 --> 00:17:49.460 them go. They were tired. They drank too much. 00:17:53.460 --> 00:17:57.720 They were tired. They drank too much mediocre 00:17:57.720 --> 00:18:02.279 office coffee. They drank too much. Let them 00:18:02.279 --> 00:18:06.259 go. They were tired. They drank too much mediocre 00:18:06.259 --> 00:18:09.539 office coffee. Spend too much time worrying about 00:18:09.539 --> 00:18:17.819 KPIs? Who are you without your job? You are whatever 00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:21.940 is left when that noise stops. That won't take 00:18:21.940 --> 00:18:25.819 you a while to recognise yourself. You're probably 00:18:25.819 --> 00:18:30.259 a bit rusty and haven't had an original thought 00:18:30.259 --> 00:18:33.759 since the mid -1990s, but give yourself some 00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:39.890 time. You might find you actually like You might 00:18:39.890 --> 00:18:46.509 find you actually like yourself. And if not, 00:18:46.630 --> 00:18:49.970 there's always golf. See you on the next one.