Welcome, everybody. Welcome online. Happy Mother's
Day to moms. My name is Bob. I am the discipleship
pastor here at Heights. So with my job, I have
the opportunity to help people take steps to
mature in their faith and learn to follow Jesus
more fully. And I love my job. I'm not up here
a lot, but I love what I do. I was up here a
couple weeks ago talking about a recent missions
trip to Dominican Republic. And it really is
amazing what we do down there. So we work with
Casa Misionera and we work with a church called
Iglesia de Restauracion. But our main thing is
we work with these students who they want to
learn leadership. So we go down there to teach
leadership. In fact, their mission vision statement
for Casa Misionera is training the future Christian
leaders of tomorrow today. And so I get excited
because we're going to go down and teach leadership.
So as we're planning the trip, you know, we're
talking online with them and stuff. And they
go, oh, but Bob, you will preach on a Sunday
at church. And I do love preaching at the church,
but it's stressful for me sometimes. So I'm like,
okay, we're good. We're good. So that Sunday
comes, I preach at the church and it went well
and everything was good. But if I'm honest, I
just sat there like relieved that that part was
over. And now I get to focus on leadership. And
so we did it. The next day, we're on the bus.
We went to public schools to preach the gospel.
We had lunch. And then I would say it was probably
like 2 in the afternoon. We're on our way to
a work project. And the leader for Casa Misionera
comes up and goes, tonight when you're preaching.
And I'm like, OK, what? And she goes, yeah, you're
preaching tonight. And here's the thing. I'm
on a missions trip. I want to try to be as flexible
as I can and do whatever they ask of me. But
I'd only prepared one message. And I'm like,
it takes me a long time because I want to do
a lot of research and make sure I'm doing God's
word justice. And I'm like, OK. So I skipped
the rest of the afternoon work thing. And I got
my computer out. And I'm in the bus working on
something. And the night came, did it. And it
was OK. It felt OK. Done with it. Well, then
the next day, we're doing work projects. And
we're doing this. And then 2 o 'clock in the
afternoon, they go, so tonight when you're preaching.
And I'm like, OK, I'm going to stop you right
there. So what I did instead is I had our team
give testimonies and one of our team members
taught, and it was amazing, better than I could
have ever done. But I say all that because today
I really felt like I had time to prep, and I
really feel like God laid a message on my heart.
And to introduce the topic, I want to tell you
something that happened on the missions trip.
So we're in this small village putting on a tin
roof on this building. And I'd say, you're on
this dirt patch, probably about as big as this.
So our team's kind of spread out talking to people.
And one of the guys on the trip, he's 19 years
old. His name is Jackson. He is playing with
this mangy, nasty, ugly little stray cat. And
he's petting it and stuff. So one of the elders
on our trip, Kip was on the trip. So Kip comes
over, he goes. I'm going to mess with Jackson.
Just go along with it. So I'm like, okay. So
I just kind of walk away because I'm going to
follow a lead. So I hear him go up to Jackson.
He goes, were you petting that cat? And he goes,
yeah, why? He goes, well, it has worms. And Jackson's
like, well, I don't see worms. He goes, you don't
see worms. And Kip goes on to explain how he
knows that this cat has worms. So at this point,
I figured I'm set up to come over. So I come
over and Jackson comes at me like this. And I
go, whoa, whoa, don't hug me. Were you petting
that cat? And he goes, yeah, why? I go, well,
it obviously has worms. He goes, what? I go,
it does. And I said, you just got that fresh
tattoo on your hand. That's how they get in.
And he goes, what? I go, they will. They'll get
in through that open sore on your hand. And he
looks horrified. So then Kip goes on to explain.
All the horrible symptoms in graphic detail that
would start happening as the day and night went
on. So I'm trying not to laugh. I'm like, I just
got to walk away. So I leave and I see Jackson
going over to every woman on our trip like, hey,
do you have hand sanitizer? And he's like doing
the whole bathing thing, trying not to laugh.
So then a little bit later, Pastor Alessandro
is talking to me and he only speaks Spanish.
So I get words and phrases. I don't get the whole
thing. But as I'm talking to him, Jackson comes
up, and Jackson's here, and I'm talking to Alessandro.
And I see he keeps looking over at Jackson. He
talked to me and looked at me. I don't even know
what he's saying. So he walks away, and Jackson
goes, what was he saying? I said, I think he's
worried that we should take you to the hospital
right now. Then I see him bathing two more bottles
of hand sanitizer. So a little later, I thought,
you just see him doing this. And I'm like, we
got to tell him. So it's just a joke. Well, Jackson
was part of a 12 -step program, and he went through
step work. So he goes, I just added you to my
step four. And step four is you take a moral
inventory of people that have wronged you or
hurt you in horrible ways with the idea of forgiving
them. So he's not in this service, but I think
he's forgiving me now. I think he did his step
four. But I would say this. As funny as the story
is, forgiveness really is a big deal. And forgiveness
or the lack of forgiveness that you have, it
affects you spiritually, and we'll talk about
that. But it also affects you emotionally and
physically. So I read a recent study from John
Hopkins, and it says this. Unforgiveness is linked
to higher incidences of stress, heart disease,
high blood pressure, lowered immune response.
anxiety, depression, and other issues. It does
affect you. And I don't know if you've heard
this saying before, but unforgiveness is like
drinking poison yourself and waiting for the
other person to die. The other person is rarely,
if ever, affected, but it can slowly kill you.
And God knows unforgiveness is not good for us.
He made you. He designed us, and he knows us
intimately. So he has a lot to say about unforgiveness.
And so I want to look at Matthew 18 today because
he speaks so strongly about the subject of forgiveness.
So if you have Bibles with you or your phones
and you want to turn there, it's Matthew 18.
We're going to start in verse 21 and 22. And
it says this. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked,
Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother
or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?
Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times,
but 70 -7 times, or it might say 70 times 7.
So in the verses prior to this, Jesus is speaking
about what happens if a brother or sister sins
against you. So we don't know Peter's motive
for asking the question. He may have wanted to
know more about forgiveness. He may have realized
he had something against a brother, one of the
disciples. or he may have been trying to make
himself look good because Jewish tradition at
that time said you were obligated to forgive
a brother for the same offense three times. But
if they did the same thing the fourth time, you
were no longer obligated to forgive because it
kind of proved that they were unrepentant. So
Peter must have felt pretty generous because
he takes the Jewish tradition of three, multiplies
it by two, And adds one. So seven sounds pretty
generous. But Jesus knows that Peter's thoughts
of generosity are human thoughts and not God's
thoughts. And he wants Peter to know how extravagant
it is. So he goes, not seven times, Peter, 70
times seven. The number, it wasn't about the
number. What it was about is how extravagant
and endless forgiveness is. Some of you know
that I used to be a mailman in Cleveland, Ohio,
and I have a hidden talent that I don't want
to brag about. They keep saying they're going
to switch this to the smaller target, but I could
shoot a rubber band. It's pretty amazing. The
reason I say that is because we used to shoot
each other with rubber bands all the time at
the post office. It was this nonstop thing that
we would do with each other, all the guys. Does
anyone in here work for the post office? Anyone?
Do you guys do that still? You do, see? It's
so fun, isn't it? So I love it, and I was really
good at it, and those things really do hurt.
But I worked with a Christian. One of the mailmen
was a Christian. His name was Mark Burke. And
he worked directly behind me, so he'd be probably
right where that screen is. And you're in a case,
so every once in a while I'd just turn around
and peg him. And I'd get him pretty good, you
know. And so then one day, he never shot back.
And then he comes up and he goes, I'm going to
start keeping track. I go, of what? He goes,
you shooting me? Because Jesus said I only have
to forgive 70 times 7. And I didn't realize,
but he got a piece of paper, and apparently he
was marking it. And every time... and then I
guess I hit 491 at one point, and he just unleashed
on me. I was kind of just at my case like this,
and I got hit so bad. It was so bad that later
that day I went to the gym to work out, and after
I was done working out, I was getting dressed.
I had my shirt off, and some guy is staring at
me. So I'm like, do we have a problem? He goes,
yeah, I think we do. I think you have a disease
or ringworm or something. You've got all these
round welts all over your back. I go. Oh, no,
no, no, I just work over at the post office.
Which at the time I said that, I don't even know
why I thought that would answer the whole thing
for him. I never saw him at the gym after that
either. It was so weird. By the way, this is
why I keep notes out here, because I tend to
stray off subject a little bit. But the point
is, it wasn't about forgiving 490 times. The
point is, the forgiveness we get is endless.
It's not a number, it's a heart stance. And to
drive the point home, Jesus goes a little further
to try to explain it. So in verses 23 through
27, it says this. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven
is like a king who wanted to settle accounts
with his servants. As he began the settlement,
a man who owed him 10 ,000 bags of gold, or 10
,000 talents, depending on your translation,
was brought to him. Since he was not able to
pay, The master ordered that he and his wife
and his children and all that he had be sold
to repay the debt. At this, the servant fell
to his knees before him. Be patient with me,
he begged, and I will pay you back everything.
The servant's master took pity on him, canceled
the debt, and let him go. Now, I want to give
you an idea of how much this is. So 10 ,000 talents
or 10 ,000 bags of gold that they had back then,
They estimate now that that would be in the realm
of $6 billion. And obviously there's no way to
pay that back. So as a husband and father, it
would be one of the darkest days of my life,
if not the darkest. I really can't think of anything
worse than you're going to sell off my wife and
my kids. It's all because of me. I would probably
feel like the ultimate failure as a father and
as a husband. And I think it's fair to say it
was the lowest point in this man's life. Imagine,
all this is going to happen and there's nothing
you can do about it. There's no way to pay it
back. I also think it's interesting that Peter
asked about forgiveness and Jesus talks about
money. But we can see how it relates. Because
we talk about debt forgiveness, forgiveness of
a loan. So they relate. But we're talking about
spiritual, emotional forgiveness that people
need. And there was a study done of people in
nursing homes. So they went and they asked them,
they said, if you could live your life over,
how would you live it differently? So here are
people in their 80s and 90s. Their top three
answers were this. Number one, they would take
more walks. I love number two, they would eat
more ice cream. And number three, they would
forgive more people. And then we're asked about
that, and here are these people in their 80s
and 90s that realized they were holding on to
wrongs done to them way back from elementary
school that a teacher or a classmate might have
said to them, but they've been carrying this
around their whole life. And there's so many
people in our culture today that are carrying
around hurts and burdens. From so long ago, there's
a fact I can tell you. Hurting people hurt people.
And we see it with all the hate around us. It's
people carrying around hurts and then going on
to hurt someone else. Now, this is an older story,
but I remember it well. I think it was 2006.
A 32 -year -old man went into an Amish school
in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. It was a one -room
classroom. He split the boys and girls on each
side, started letting the boys go one by one,
and then he started shooting the girls. He killed
five of them and then took his own life. And
I remember at the time seeing the news, every
news channel, the first thing they said is they
couldn't believe how quick the Amish community
was to forgive. But then on one of the stations,
they interviewed the wife of the shooter. And
she said he had been hanging on to unforgiveness
for over a decade. And this is how it finally
came out. Because again, hurting people hurt
people. But if we look back at verses 26 and
27, I want to reread this. At this, the servant
fell on his knees before him. Be patient with
me, he begged, and I will pay back everything.
The servant's master took pity on him, canceled
the debt. and let him go. You're before the master
at this point. All you can do is fall to your
knees and beg forgiveness. And I think it's interesting
that this servant says, I'll pay back everything
I owe. It's six billion. I'm not sure he understood
how much he had been forgiven, but it says that
the master had pity or compassion on him. He
released him. He didn't just defer the debt.
He paid it off. He canceled it. And that's exactly
what Jesus does for us. He sees our sins. He
sees our brokenness. And he says, I want to have
compassion on you. I want to release you and
pay off your debt. I'm going to speak for me,
but I'm probably speaking for all of you too.
I've racked up such an extraordinary amount of
sin or debt that I could never pay it back. It's
six billion. And in Romans, it says, the wages
of our sin or our debt is death. That's eternal
separation from God. And yet Jesus took the debt,
paid it off, and he says, all you have to do
is accept my forgiveness and believe in me. Why?
Because the master, God, had compassion on us.
So when you hear that, how does that make you
feel? Think about all that you've been forgiven.
Because I would say this, that kind of love demands
a response. If you're not a Christian, you're
not a follower of Jesus, this is so important
because you could never pay back the debt that
you've accumulated. And for those of you who
are followers, I hope you're reminded of how
much you've been forgiven. That six billion should
ring a bell for you. But I want to go back to
the servant. Because if this servant really understood
what he'd been forgiven, how should he have felt?
How should he have responded? Because he responds
totally wrong. Look at verse 28 and 29. It says
this. But when the servant went out, he found
one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 silver
coins or denarii. He grabbed him and began to
choke him. Pay back what you owe me, he demanded.
His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged
him. Be patient with me and I will pay it back.
Now, 100 denarii is a debt. They say in our day,
100 denarii would be somewhere around 11 ,000.
It's a significant debt. It's a significant wrong.
But compared to the billions that he owed, it
is absolutely nothing. So you see this servant
respond the same way the first one did. He falls
to his knees and begs for forgiveness, almost
word for word saying the same thing. But we see
this servant respond totally differently than
the master. Matthew 18 .30 says this, but he
refused. Instead, he had the man thrown into
prison until he could pay back the debt. When
the other servants saw what had happened, they
were outraged and went and told their master
everything that had happened. The master called
the servant in. You wicked servant, he said,
I canceled all the debt of yours because you
begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on
your fellow servant just as I had on you? In
anger, his master handed him over to the jailers
to be tortured until he should pay back all he
owed. This is how my heavenly father will treat
each of you unless you forgive your brother or
sister from the heart. I want to say this. The
king's response is right and just. There had
to be a payment. Without justice, there would
be total chaos. And Jesus made the payment for
us. But I think the verse that keeps popping
into my head that gets my attention is 35, where
it says, this is how my heavenly father will
treat each of you unless you forgive each other
or forgive your brother from the heart. And I
know this is super hard to hear, but Jesus says
this pretty much about the same thing earlier
in Matthew. In Matthew 6, 14 and 15, it says
this. For if you forgive other people when they
sin against you, your heavenly Father will also
forgive you. But if you do not forgive others
their sins, your Father will not forgive your
sins. Those are really tough words to hear from
Jesus. I think it's fair to say that Jesus takes
unforgiveness very seriously. And if you're in
this room and you call yourself a believer or
a follower of Jesus, It's not an option to not
forgive. And I believe that like the first servant,
if he's sitting there and he won't forgive the
second servant, I wonder if he really understood
and embraced what he had been forgiven. And that's
why I would ask us today, do we understand what
we've been forgiven? Because it would respond
differently. So I heard a lot of you, I don't
know if you know Sean McDowell. He's a Christian
apologetics expert. And so what he does is he
does conferences and he defends the Bible. So
he was doing one in Southern Cal. He said there
was probably about four or five thousand people.
But the people who put the conference together
told him right before, hey, you're going to have
a lot of non -Christians tonight. And they said,
in fact, one of them is an ex -youth pastor.
He just turned his back on the Lord about a month
ago and left Jesus completely. And Sean said,
do you know him? And he goes, yeah. He goes,
do you think he'd meet with me prior? Because
I'd really like to hear his story. So the guy
talked to him and he agreed to meet with Sean.
So they met for about an hour prior to the conference.
And Sean said, hey, I heard you were this youth
pastor and you walked away from your faith. I
just want to know your story. And instead of
telling the story, the young man just said, I
just, I don't understand why God is so silent.
And I don't know why I don't see more miracles
and things from him. He said, all I feel is the
absence of God. And Sean said, at that point,
he's sitting there and all of a sudden, all these
names of people who could answer all these questions
were coming through his head. And Sean said,
I felt inadequate. I didn't know what to say.
So he said, all I did is he said, well, can I
ask you a question? And the young man said, well,
yeah. And he said, we can talk about you leaving
the faith, but can you tell me when did you come
to faith? When did you realize that you were
a sinner in need of God's forgiveness? And he
said the young man's eyes got as big as saucers.
He looked like a deer in the headlights. And
he said, I didn't become a Christian because
I was a sinner. I became a Christian because
I was hurting and everyone told me Jesus would
make me feel better. That's a false gospel. This
kid never understood what Jesus did for him.
He was never in relationship with Jesus. He never
had an experience with Jesus. And Sean McDowell
said at that same talk, he was like, every time
I meet someone who says they walked away from
the faith, he said, I would guarantee they never
had a faith. He said they never understood Jesus'
forgiveness. He said they would say things like,
he said, well, when did you become a Christian?
When did you know Jesus died for your sins? Well,
I've just always been a Christian. Well, then
you don't get it. You didn't understand or accept
the forgiveness he offers. And I think, I feel
the same thing about people when they say they
refuse to forgive. A brother, maybe they never
understood what they were forgiven. Because if
you understand forgiveness, you pay that forward.
We've all been forgiven an extraordinary amount
of debt. And you could be sitting here thinking,
well, Bob, I'm not really that bad. I have never
killed anybody. I've never been to jail. I've
never done drugs. I waited to have sex till I
was married. I did this, this, and this. And
I would say those are the people that have been
forgiven the six billion that don't get it. And
I would compare it to the story of the prodigal
son. The younger son went off and did wild living,
but the older son was full of pride. Pride is
sin. He was just as lost as the younger son,
but in a different way. I heard it said that
pride can blind you from ever seeing your need
for forgiveness. And as I'm saying all this,
I don't want to diminish. the wrongs that have
been done to you. Some of you might have been
wronged in terrible ways. And I will tell you,
I've been wronged in horrible ways before. But
I, in comparison to what Jesus has and continues
to forgive me for, honestly, it's nothing. Because
I know I could never pay back that debt. But
do you know that? Because forgiveness isn't easy,
and I think it would be impossible for me if
I didn't understand Jesus' forgiveness, and if
I didn't have the power of the Holy Spirit to
help me forgive others. I mentioned earlier,
I said hurting people hurt people, but I think
the opposite is true. Forgiving people forgive
people. And I've been forgiven so much, how could
I not? And I would say this about it, forgiveness
is very healing. I'll tell you a story. About
15 years ago at Heights, we started this discipleship
program called CTO. Some of you might've been
here. It's called Call to Obedience. So what
they would have us do as a staff is you would
go with your spouse. So me and my wife went and
we would meet with the people that wrote the
program and they would tell us how to use it.
Well, literally week one, the whole thing was
about forgiveness. That's what they started with.
So the lady said, hey, here's what we're gonna
do, Bob. I'm gonna write down your dad's name.
And so she wrote it down. She goes, now tell
me every way your dad has sinned against you.
And I'm like, what? And she goes, everything
your dad has done to wrong you. So I'm telling
her stuff. And she goes, well, okay, so now we're
going to forgive your dad. I go, I've already
forgiven him. She goes, no, but you just got
to how we do it so you learn. So we went in the
backyard. She said, would you pray over this
forgiveness list? And I'm going to burn it. So
she started on fire. I prayed and it was over
and it was great. So then the following was,
she goes, okay, we're going to do something different
today. We're going to make a list of how you
wronged your dad. And I'm like, well, I never.
With a few prodding questions, I realized all
these things that I had done and not done to
sin against my dad. So we're getting ready to
leave and she goes, okay, so this week you're
going to call your dad and ask for forgiveness.
And I said, well, you don't know my dad. He's
not going to like this at all. I said, this could
go really south. And she kept insisting. She
goes, well, you have to do it. So I kept putting
it off. And each week, we'd go back for the next
lesson. She goes, how did the talk go with your
dad? Oh, it's just been a busy week. Haven't
called him yet, but I will. So finally, I call
my dad up. I say, hey, dad, I'm doing this Bible
study. And I need to ask for forgiveness from
some things I've done to you. And he said in
some really choice words that I'm not going to
use. why I don't need to do that and why I don't
need to forgive him. So I said, well, I really
don't have a choice. So I start telling him all
the things I was asking forgiveness for. And
the phone's dead, blank. And I'm like, I got
something new to add to his list now because
he just hung up on me. And then I realized my
dad's crying. And my dad is not like that. And
all he says to me is he said, you never had to
ask. I will tell you this about that relationship.
Now, prior to that conversation, I would say
I talked to my dad maybe once every two or three
months. I talked to my dad every day, almost.
Every week I'm on the phone with him at least
once. In fact, I just talked to him this morning.
Because forgiveness is so healing. And I'll say
some of you, probably it might be the day that
you need to forgive yourself. We recently put
together a Bible study here, a one -on -one discipleship
called Follow. And one of the questions in there
is, is it easier to forgive yourself or others?
Everyone I've asked that question to, it's been
100 % harder to forgive yourself. And I'd say
this about that. If God has forgiven you, who
are you to remember it anymore? Because if you're
in Christ, you're a new creation. The old things
have died and passed away. So why are you hanging
around the cemetery trying to dig those things
back up? And even today, we battle sin and sometimes
we lose, but that debt's been paid too. So maybe
today is the day that you just need to forgive
yourself to move forward. If you don't forgive
yourself, Again, I'll say maybe you don't understand
God's forgiveness. But as we're talking about
forgiveness, I want to tell you a few things
that forgiveness isn't. Forgiveness isn't a feeling.
Because as we're sitting here, I'm sure some
names are popping in your head that you need
to forgive, and you're sitting there going, well,
I don't feel like forgiving them. You're probably
never going to feel like forgiving them. Forgiveness
is done out of obedience, not a feeling. But
I will tell you from personal experience, once
I've done it out of obedience, the feeling usually
follows. And forgiveness is not forgetting or
ignoring the wrong that was done to you. It's
not letting someone off the hook. The wrong that
was done to you was real. I don't think we need
to make excuses for those people either and say
things like, well, we all mess up and they didn't
mean it. Again, what they did was real. And we
can't forget it. So sometimes triggers will happen
where that wrong comes back up, and you've got
to pray that again and give forgiveness. And
forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same.
Forgiveness is a choice to release a hurt. Reconciliation
is restoring a relationship. Forgiveness can
be granted. without restoring the relationship,
because sometimes it's harmful to step back into
that. So I want to do something special. I think
a lot of times we're in church, and I feel like
we're supposed to respond to God's Word every
time we're in here. God's Word is so important,
and we hear that, and if nothing changes, it's
like faith without works is dead. So some of
you are sitting in here today, and you know Holy
Spirit's prodding you on a few things. We want
to give you a chance and the opportunity to respond
to that. And I will say this, there's probably
a couple things that are touching your heart.
Number one, maybe you never realized the six
billion that you owe. And maybe today is the
day that you're sitting here saying, I want to
accept the payoff of my debt. I want to step
into relationship with Jesus Christ. Maybe you're
sitting here today and these people that are
coming to your head that you think you can't
forgive, but you're a Christian, you're a believer,
but you don't know how to release that and you
don't know how to let go of those hurts. So here's
what I would love to do. We're gonna have the
band come back up and they're gonna play a song,
but we're gonna be down in front. I'm gonna come
down there. We're gonna have some of the prayer
team down there, but I will tell you, if you
feel, God is talking to you right now to respond.
Please don't miss an opportunity. Don't leave
here saying, I should have. Do what he's asking
you to do. Let me pray. Heavenly Father, Father,
first of all, I just thank you for your forgiveness.
Thank you for paying a debt that we could have
never paid, Father. We love you. And Father,
I pray, For people out here today that are realizing
the debt that was paid, understanding your love
and your forgiveness, Father, I pray that you
would give them courage and boldness to come
forward and tell someone that the decision they've
made, Father, so you can use others to help on
that walk, Father. We're a family. We want to
walk this together. And Father, I pray for those
that are struggling, Christian brothers that
are struggling to let go. of hurts, of burdens
and wrongs, Lord. I pray today would be the day
they release that, Father. And again, for them,
I pray courage and boldness, Father, that they
would be able to come forward, talk and pray
this through, Lord. Father, we love you so much
and thank you so much for the opportunity to
respond to your word. In Jesus' name.