1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,560 All right, so let's just dive right into these articles 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,400 you sent over about millennials and relationships. 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,440 It seems like you're someone who, you know, 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,680 really puts a lot of thought into how to make love last, 5 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,640 especially these days, and you're definitely not alone. 6 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,800 Yeah, and what I find so fascinating is that 7 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,640 it's not like millennials are rejecting love 8 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:18,880 or anything like that. 9 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,120 All the research actually points to the opposite, 10 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,680 like a good marriage, 11 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,640 still incredibly important to this generation. 12 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,320 It's more about the how, 13 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,120 like how they're approaching relationships. 14 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,560 That's what's really changing. 15 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:32,400 That's really interesting, 16 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,560 and I feel like one of the biggest changes 17 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,120 we see right away is just this trend 18 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,120 of millennials delaying marriage. 19 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,880 Like one article even mentioned how 20 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,200 the average age of first marriage for millennials is 30 now. 21 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,880 30, that's a big jump from like the early 20s 22 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,240 that we saw with like, you know, older generations. 23 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,360 Oh, absolutely, it's a huge shift. 24 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,520 And it really makes you think about that whole idea 25 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,640 from previous generations of finding the one in your 20s 26 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,480 and poof, everything just magically falls into place. 27 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,400 Like one article pointed out, a lot of millennials, 28 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:07,040 they basically came of age during a really unstable time, 29 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,480 economically speaking. 30 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,240 Think like recessions, student loan debt, 31 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,520 crazy competitive job market. 32 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,480 So it makes sense that they wanna, you know, 33 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,360 prioritize financial security before jumping 34 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,600 into marriage and family. 35 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,760 So it's not so much like being afraid of commitment, 36 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,680 it's more about being practical about it. 37 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,760 Exactly, they're not abandoning the whole idea 38 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,120 of finding a loving partner, it's more like 39 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,080 they're hitting pause and just redefining when 40 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,600 and how it fits into their lives, 41 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,960 which I think makes a lot of sense. 42 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:38,840 And this actually ties into another trend 43 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,000 that I kept seeing pop up in these articles. 44 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,520 Millennials are really focused on personal 45 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,160 and professional growth. 46 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,040 Like they're really invested in their education, 47 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,040 exploring all these different career paths, 48 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,440 and they're just like prioritizing their own goals 49 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:52,280 and aspirations. 50 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,440 Which let's be real, takes time. 51 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,200 It's not like you just wake up one day and boom, 52 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,960 you've achieved all your dreams. 53 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,680 So how does that, like this focus on personal growth, 54 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,840 how does that then affect how millennials 55 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,600 approach finding a partner? 56 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,840 Well, I think it changes their expectations. 57 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,920 Instead of seeing marriage as like the ultimate goal, 58 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,160 the be all and end all, they want someone 59 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,800 who compliments their journey, you know? 60 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,080 Not someone who's gonna derail it, 61 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,400 they want someone who supports their ambitions, 62 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,840 celebrates their successes, and just like understands 63 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,280 that personal growth doesn't end when you say, I do. 64 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,680 I actually really love that perspective. 65 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,240 But it does sound like it could make dating 66 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,640 a whole lot more complicated. 67 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:29,640 Oh, for sure. 68 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,600 One article even went as far as to say, 69 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,200 don't treat a partner as a project, 70 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,960 which I thought was a little harsh, but also kinda true. 71 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,520 Yeah, yeah, no, I totally think that. 72 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,880 I can see how that mindset would lead 73 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,520 to some serious problems in a relationship. 74 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,520 So if fixing someone is off the table, 75 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,440 then how do you actually build a healthy, 76 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,840 supportive relationship, especially in this whole new 77 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,360 landscape of dating? 78 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,240 Communication is key. 79 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,080 Okay. 80 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,160 And I don't just mean like talking more. 81 00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,920 It's about talking effectively. 82 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,440 One of the articles actually made a really interesting 83 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,600 point about how like men and women, 84 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,640 sometimes they express themselves differently. 85 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,560 Especially more casual settings, 86 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,960 like on a car ride, for example. 87 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:10,800 You ever notice that? 88 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,560 Yeah, so like the article was saying that 89 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,920 men sometimes find it easier to open up in settings 90 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,800 where there's not a ton of direct eye contact. 91 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:21,640 Interesting. 92 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,400 Maybe it takes the pressure off a bit. 93 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,520 Makes it feel less like a performance or something. 94 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,320 So a car ride, just being side by side, 95 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,320 not totally face to face, they can actually like 96 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,680 help open up those deeper conversations, you know? 97 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,040 Oh, that is really interesting, 98 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,600 and I can totally see that. 99 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,880 Sometimes those really meaningful conversations, 100 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,640 they seem to happen in those in-between moments 101 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:42,880 when you least expect it. 102 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,280 But like, I'm curious, would that mean 103 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,600 that women feel differently in those same situations? 104 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,440 Totally. 105 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,680 The article talked about how a lot of women, 106 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,680 they really value those face to face moments, you know? 107 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,640 Like when you can really connect emotionally, intensely. 108 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,000 And it's not that one way of communicating 109 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,880 is better than the other or anything. 110 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,880 It's about understanding those little differences 111 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,040 and like being willing to adapt your approach. 112 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:07,880 Does that make sense? 113 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:08,700 It totally does. 114 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,520 It's like just because someone expresses themselves 115 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,320 differently doesn't mean what they're saying 116 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,080 means any less to them, right? 117 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,000 It's about bridging that gap. 118 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,080 Exactly, and that takes a good deal of self-awareness, 119 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,600 honestly, like we've gotta understand 120 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:24,200 our own communication styles, our emotional triggers, 121 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,320 even our attachment styles, which can be a big one. 122 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,880 Oh, attachment styles. 123 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,640 I feel like I've heard that term a lot, 124 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,120 but I'm not sure I fully get it. 125 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,760 Could you maybe explain that a little bit? 126 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:33,680 Yeah, of course. 127 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,240 So basically your attachment style is 128 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,000 like the way you tend to connect with people 129 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,260 in close relationships, romantically especially, 130 00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:43,640 it actually starts developing in early childhood. 131 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:44,640 Wow, really? 132 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,000 Yeah, and it can really influence how you deal 133 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,320 with things like intimacy, communication, 134 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,240 even how you handle disagreements and stuff. 135 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,080 Interesting. 136 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,600 And there are different types of attachment styles, 137 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,040 like secure, anxious, avoidant, 138 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,040 and each one has its own kind of like strengths 139 00:04:59,040 --> 00:04:59,880 and weaknesses. 140 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,880 So if understanding our own attachment style 141 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,720 is part of being more self-aware, 142 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,000 how does it actually play into building better, 143 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,720 stronger relationships? 144 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,920 Well, when you really get your own attachment style, 145 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,920 you can start to see these patterns in your relationships, 146 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,240 the good and the bad. 147 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,040 Like maybe you get super anxious 148 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,520 when your partner just needs a little space, 149 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,920 or maybe you have trouble like really opening up emotionally. 150 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:25,880 Yeah, that makes sense. 151 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,320 By recognizing those patterns, 152 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,080 you can start to communicate your needs better 153 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,320 and build healthier relationships overall. 154 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,760 So it's not just about finding the right person, 155 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,560 but almost like becoming the right person yourself. 156 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,200 It's funny how that works, huh? 157 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,200 It's not just about finding the perfect person 158 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,920 who checks all the boxes on our list. 159 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,020 It's like we have to actually become 160 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:47,560 someone who's ready for that, right? 161 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,200 Like be worthy of that kind of love. 162 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,400 It's like that saying, 163 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,240 we accept the love we think we deserve or something. 164 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,040 That's powerful though when you think about it, right? 165 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,960 We actually have a lot more control, 166 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,840 more agency in our romantic lives than we might realize. 167 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,920 It's not just like some random thing, you know? 168 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,600 It's about actively becoming the best partners 169 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,080 we can possibly be. 170 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,900 Okay, so I love this whole idea, 171 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:13,040 but where do you even start with that? 172 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,880 Becoming the partner you're looking for. 173 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,840 It seems kind of like, I don't know, a big task. 174 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,440 It doesn't have to be overwhelming though. 175 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,280 One of the articles, I think it was the, 176 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,280 I can't remember the exact one, but anyway, 177 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,200 it broke it down into some pretty simple steps actually. 178 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,560 It all starts with looking inward, self-reflection. 179 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:31,400 Okay. 180 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,300 Like ask yourself some tough questions. 181 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,960 What are my core values? 182 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,440 What do I absolutely need in a relationship to be happy? 183 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,200 What kind of future do I really want for myself? 184 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,040 Yeah. 185 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,000 If you have a better picture of who you are, 186 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,520 what you really want, that's when you can start 187 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,960 making choices that line up with that vision. 188 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,480 Okay, so self-reflection, that's like step one. 189 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,640 What comes after that? 190 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,680 Okay, so this might sound a little weird, 191 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,600 but the next part is really about focusing on yourself. 192 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,440 Okay. 193 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,160 Not on desperately trying to find a partner. 194 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,760 Invest in your own happiness, 195 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,040 explore stuff you're passionate about, 196 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,960 hang out with your friends. 197 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,600 Prioritize your own well-being first. 198 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,720 That makes a lot of sense though, 199 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,280 because if you're not happy with yourself, 200 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,040 how can you bring your best self to a relationship? 201 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,120 It's just not gonna work. 202 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:18,960 Exactly. 203 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,420 And here's the thing. 204 00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:24,320 When you just focus on your own growth, your own happiness, 205 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,640 you naturally become more attractive to other people. 206 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,160 It's like this magnet. 207 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,000 Interesting. 208 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,840 Confidence, self-assurance, 209 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,600 those are super attractive qualities in a partner. 210 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,280 So you're saying that by us becoming 211 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,840 the best versions of ourselves, 212 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,720 we're actually increasing our chances 213 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,560 of finding that fulfilling, lasting love that we all want. 214 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,520 Exactly. 215 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,240 And it's not about being fake 216 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,160 or pretending to be someone you're not. 217 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,000 Right. 218 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,560 It's about really owning who you are 219 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,080 and constantly striving to be better. 220 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,320 This has been such an eye-opening conversation. 221 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,440 I feel like we've covered so much ground here. 222 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,320 I mean, from how millennials view relationships 223 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,000 to the importance of self-awareness 224 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:06,000 and building a strong base of trust, respect, friendship. 225 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,840 It's all connected. 226 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:07,660 It really is. 227 00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:08,680 Before we wrap up though, 228 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,920 I do wanna leave our listeners 229 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,120 with one final thought to ponder. 230 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,440 Think about that couple you know. 231 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,280 You know the one, 232 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,880 the couple that just seems to get it right, you know? 233 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,360 Their relationship is rock solid. 234 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,460 Know exactly what you mean. 235 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,560 What is it about their dynamic that works so well? 236 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,920 How can those insights 237 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,260 and maybe combined with some of the things 238 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:28,100 you talked about today, 239 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,860 how can those things help you find 240 00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:32,920 and create that kind of love in your own life? 241 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,080 Just something to think about as you navigate, 242 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,260 you know, your own journey. 243 00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:38,960 Thanks for joining us for this deep dive 244 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,880 into navigating love in the age of you. 245 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,240 And until next time, keep asking questions, 246 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,800 keep searching for those answers, 247 00:08:44,800 --> 00:09:11,400 and most importantly, keep diving deep.