All right, so let's just dive right into these articles
you sent over about millennials and relationships.
It seems like you're someone who, you know,
really puts a lot of thought into how to make love last,
especially these days, and you're definitely not alone.
Yeah, and what I find so fascinating is that
it's not like millennials are rejecting love
or anything like that.
All the research actually points to the opposite,
like a good marriage,
still incredibly important to this generation.
It's more about the how,
like how they're approaching relationships.
That's what's really changing.
That's really interesting,
and I feel like one of the biggest changes
we see right away is just this trend
of millennials delaying marriage.
Like one article even mentioned how
the average age of first marriage for millennials is 30 now.
30, that's a big jump from like the early 20s
that we saw with like, you know, older generations.
Oh, absolutely, it's a huge shift.
And it really makes you think about that whole idea
from previous generations of finding the one in your 20s
and poof, everything just magically falls into place.
Like one article pointed out, a lot of millennials,
they basically came of age during a really unstable time,
economically speaking.
Think like recessions, student loan debt,
crazy competitive job market.
So it makes sense that they wanna, you know,
prioritize financial security before jumping
into marriage and family.
So it's not so much like being afraid of commitment,
it's more about being practical about it.
Exactly, they're not abandoning the whole idea
of finding a loving partner, it's more like
they're hitting pause and just redefining when
and how it fits into their lives,
which I think makes a lot of sense.
And this actually ties into another trend
that I kept seeing pop up in these articles.
Millennials are really focused on personal
and professional growth.
Like they're really invested in their education,
exploring all these different career paths,
and they're just like prioritizing their own goals
and aspirations.
Which let's be real, takes time.
It's not like you just wake up one day and boom,
you've achieved all your dreams.
So how does that, like this focus on personal growth,
how does that then affect how millennials
approach finding a partner?
Well, I think it changes their expectations.
Instead of seeing marriage as like the ultimate goal,
the be all and end all, they want someone
who compliments their journey, you know?
Not someone who's gonna derail it,
they want someone who supports their ambitions,
celebrates their successes, and just like understands
that personal growth doesn't end when you say, I do.
I actually really love that perspective.
But it does sound like it could make dating
a whole lot more complicated.
Oh, for sure.
One article even went as far as to say,
don't treat a partner as a project,
which I thought was a little harsh, but also kinda true.
Yeah, yeah, no, I totally think that.
I can see how that mindset would lead
to some serious problems in a relationship.
So if fixing someone is off the table,
then how do you actually build a healthy,
supportive relationship, especially in this whole new
landscape of dating?
Communication is key.
Okay.
And I don't just mean like talking more.
It's about talking effectively.
One of the articles actually made a really interesting
point about how like men and women,
sometimes they express themselves differently.
Especially more casual settings,
like on a car ride, for example.
You ever notice that?
Yeah, so like the article was saying that
men sometimes find it easier to open up in settings
where there's not a ton of direct eye contact.
Interesting.
Maybe it takes the pressure off a bit.
Makes it feel less like a performance or something.
So a car ride, just being side by side,
not totally face to face, they can actually like
help open up those deeper conversations, you know?
Oh, that is really interesting,
and I can totally see that.
Sometimes those really meaningful conversations,
they seem to happen in those in-between moments
when you least expect it.
But like, I'm curious, would that mean
that women feel differently in those same situations?
Totally.
The article talked about how a lot of women,
they really value those face to face moments, you know?
Like when you can really connect emotionally, intensely.
And it's not that one way of communicating
is better than the other or anything.
It's about understanding those little differences
and like being willing to adapt your approach.
Does that make sense?
It totally does.
It's like just because someone expresses themselves
differently doesn't mean what they're saying
means any less to them, right?
It's about bridging that gap.
Exactly, and that takes a good deal of self-awareness,
honestly, like we've gotta understand
our own communication styles, our emotional triggers,
even our attachment styles, which can be a big one.
Oh, attachment styles.
I feel like I've heard that term a lot,
but I'm not sure I fully get it.
Could you maybe explain that a little bit?
Yeah, of course.
So basically your attachment style is
like the way you tend to connect with people
in close relationships, romantically especially,
it actually starts developing in early childhood.
Wow, really?
Yeah, and it can really influence how you deal
with things like intimacy, communication,
even how you handle disagreements and stuff.
Interesting.
And there are different types of attachment styles,
like secure, anxious, avoidant,
and each one has its own kind of like strengths
and weaknesses.
So if understanding our own attachment style
is part of being more self-aware,
how does it actually play into building better,
stronger relationships?
Well, when you really get your own attachment style,
you can start to see these patterns in your relationships,
the good and the bad.
Like maybe you get super anxious
when your partner just needs a little space,
or maybe you have trouble like really opening up emotionally.
Yeah, that makes sense.
By recognizing those patterns,
you can start to communicate your needs better
and build healthier relationships overall.
So it's not just about finding the right person,
but almost like becoming the right person yourself.
It's funny how that works, huh?
It's not just about finding the perfect person
who checks all the boxes on our list.
It's like we have to actually become
someone who's ready for that, right?
Like be worthy of that kind of love.
It's like that saying,
we accept the love we think we deserve or something.
That's powerful though when you think about it, right?
We actually have a lot more control,
more agency in our romantic lives than we might realize.
It's not just like some random thing, you know?
It's about actively becoming the best partners
we can possibly be.
Okay, so I love this whole idea,
but where do you even start with that?
Becoming the partner you're looking for.
It seems kind of like, I don't know, a big task.
It doesn't have to be overwhelming though.
One of the articles, I think it was the,
I can't remember the exact one, but anyway,
it broke it down into some pretty simple steps actually.
It all starts with looking inward, self-reflection.
Okay.
Like ask yourself some tough questions.
What are my core values?
What do I absolutely need in a relationship to be happy?
What kind of future do I really want for myself?
Yeah.
If you have a better picture of who you are,
what you really want, that's when you can start
making choices that line up with that vision.
Okay, so self-reflection, that's like step one.
What comes after that?
Okay, so this might sound a little weird,
but the next part is really about focusing on yourself.
Okay.
Not on desperately trying to find a partner.
Invest in your own happiness,
explore stuff you're passionate about,
hang out with your friends.
Prioritize your own well-being first.
That makes a lot of sense though,
because if you're not happy with yourself,
how can you bring your best self to a relationship?
It's just not gonna work.
Exactly.
And here's the thing.
When you just focus on your own growth, your own happiness,
you naturally become more attractive to other people.
It's like this magnet.
Interesting.
Confidence, self-assurance,
those are super attractive qualities in a partner.
So you're saying that by us becoming
the best versions of ourselves,
we're actually increasing our chances
of finding that fulfilling, lasting love that we all want.
Exactly.
And it's not about being fake
or pretending to be someone you're not.
Right.
It's about really owning who you are
and constantly striving to be better.
This has been such an eye-opening conversation.
I feel like we've covered so much ground here.
I mean, from how millennials view relationships
to the importance of self-awareness
and building a strong base of trust, respect, friendship.
It's all connected.
It really is.
Before we wrap up though,
I do wanna leave our listeners
with one final thought to ponder.
Think about that couple you know.
You know the one,
the couple that just seems to get it right, you know?
Their relationship is rock solid.
Know exactly what you mean.
What is it about their dynamic that works so well?
How can those insights
and maybe combined with some of the things
you talked about today,
how can those things help you find
and create that kind of love in your own life?
Just something to think about as you navigate,
you know, your own journey.
Thanks for joining us for this deep dive
into navigating love in the age of you.
And until next time, keep asking questions,
keep searching for those answers,
and most importantly, keep diving deep.