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Okay, so like picture this right.

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You're doom scrolling on TikTok, you know how it is.

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Cute dogs, one minute.

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And then bam, relationship advice.

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How to nowhere.

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Yeah, exactly.

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And it's always so intense, like girl, run.

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He's not peeling that orange, right?

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Divorce him.

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Red flag.

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Red flag, it's wild, right?

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But like, is it really that simple?

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Is all relationship advice on the internet

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just totally bonkers?

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Oh, it's tempting to just scroll on by, right?

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But this whole divorce him thing, it's everywhere.

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And honestly, I think it says a lot about

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how we think about relationships these days.

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Which is exactly what we're diving into today.

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We've got this awesome Vox article that you sent me,

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and it's all about how divorce him became

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like the internet's relationship mantra.

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Yeah, it's a fascinating read.

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Totally.

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So it talks about this whole dump him culture on TikTok,

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and it really does seem to be aimed at women, right?

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Yeah, definitely.

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Their article makes a really good point

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about how algorithms play into all this.

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Like TikTok, it feeds off of drama.

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Oh, for sure.

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The more extreme something is, the more black and white,

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the more likely it is to go viral.

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Nuance, not so much.

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So basically, we're getting this super skewed view

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of relationships because, well, negativity gets clicks.

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Pretty much.

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And this negativity bias,

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it's not just in relationship advice,

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it's everywhere online.

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But it's definitely amplified

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when it comes to love and relationships.

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Why do you think that is?

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Oh, that's a good question.

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I don't know.

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Maybe it's because relationships can be so messy, right?

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Right.

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Like we want those clear-cut answers,

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even when they don't really exist.

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I think you're onto something there.

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It's like we want those warning signs.

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It makes us feel more in control.

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Yeah.

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Even if the signs themselves are a little ridiculous.

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Like that whole orange peel test thing.

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Remember that one?

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The article mentioned it, how your partner peels an orange

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can tell you everything you need to know

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about your future together.

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It's amazing what goes viral these days.

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Right, as if I needed another reason to be single.

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Oh, he peels his oranges clockwise, deal breaker.

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It's hilarious though, but like you said,

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there's something kind of real

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underneath all of the silliness, isn't there?

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100%.

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These little bite-sized narratives, even the crazy ones,

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they offer us something that's super appealing certainty.

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In a world that feels increasingly uncertain,

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it's no wonder we cling to those simple narratives.

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Totally, it's like we all want that cheat code for love,

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even if deep down we know it probably doesn't exist.

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But are we missing something important when we do that?

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Like are we so busy looking for the red flags

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that we miss the good stuff?

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I feel like that's something to think about.

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But it's not just about wanting control

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in our relationships, right?

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I think it goes deeper than that.

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The Vox article definitely hinted at that.

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It's like there's this whole conversation happening

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right now about what we expect from relationships.

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Like traditional roles versus like, you know,

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actually wanting things to be equal.

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Totally, like it's 2024 people.

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Right, it's about time, don't you think?

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For sure, and the article mentioned that study,

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the one from Pew Research, about how women

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just don't feel as empowered by all these societal changes,

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compared to men, I mean.

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Oh yeah, it was something like 59% of women felt empowered,

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but only 48% of men.

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A huge difference.

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Makes you think, right?

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Like are we really making progress if half of us are like,

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wait, this isn't working.

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Exactly, so it makes sense that, you know,

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women are turning to the internet for support,

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even if the advice is a little extreme.

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So like they just wanna be heard and understood, you know?

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Absolutely, because honestly,

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sometimes it feels like those conversations

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are harder to have offline, you know what I mean?

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100%, like it's easier to rant on TikTok

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than it is to actually like talk to your partner

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about what's bothering you.

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Sad, but true, although you know,

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this whole divorce-im thing,

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it's not always about fixing a relationship

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that's already there.

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Sometimes it's about like completely rethinking

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what a relationship even is.

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That's a really good point.

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Like the article mentioned non-monogamy

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and platonic partnerships.

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All these different ways of doing relationships.

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Exactly, which is kinda cool when you think about it.

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Yeah, it's like we're finally giving ourselves permission

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to write our own rules.

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Totally, although speaking of rules,

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there's that whole other side to all this, right?

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Like the whole putting your relationship on blast thing.

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Oh yeah, for sure, the article talked about that too.

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Like it's one thing to make a joke about the orange peel

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test, it's another thing entirely to like air

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all your dirty laundry online.

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Because as tempting as it is to crowdsource

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your relationship advice.

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It's probably not the best idea.

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It can get messy, right?

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Oh yeah.

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Like it's almost like you're inviting everyone

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to have an opinion on your relationship

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and not everyone's gonna be like super helpful, you know?

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Exactly, it's like you're opening up this can of worms

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and you can't just like close it back up

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when things get out of control.

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And the thing is, it's so easy to get caught up

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in all that online drama, isn't it?

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Super easy.

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Like you see other people's problems

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and you start comparing and then suddenly

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your own relationship doesn't seem so great.

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It's like the internet can make you feel

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like you're always missing out,

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even when it comes to like relationship problems.

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Totally, so if we're not supposed to be getting

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our relationship advice from TikTok, where do we go?

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Well, the article actually had a pretty simple answer

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for that.

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Yeah.

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Lay it on me.

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Talk to each other.

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Wait, seriously, that's it?

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I know, I know, it sounds kinda obvious,

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but honestly, it's the most important thing.

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But like what if talking to your partner

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is like the actual problem?

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That's fair.

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Like what if you're not even on the same page

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about, you know, basic stuff?

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That's where like really good communication comes in.

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And I know that's easier said than done,

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but the article made this point about how like,

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even when it's hard, even when you're arguing,

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choosing to talk things out,

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it builds a stronger foundation

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than like any viral trend ever could.

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That's true.

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I mean, relationships are all about connection, right?

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And connection comes from, well, actually connecting,

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not just like posting about it online.

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And you know, sometimes the bravest thing you can do

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is log off, put down your phone,

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and just like really listen to your partner.

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No filters, no algorithms, just you guys.

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Exactly, it's like, remember why you're together

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in the first place.

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I love that.

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This whole conversation has been super eye-opening,

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you know, I feel like we've covered so much ground.

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Me too.

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It's always fascinating to see like,

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how these internet trends reflect

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what's actually going on in our lives.

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For sure, it's like holding up a mirror to ourselves,

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isn't it? Oh dear.

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So to all our listeners out there,

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have you seen this divorce him trend online?

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Does it make you wanna laugh, cry,

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throw your phone out the window?

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We wanna hear your thoughts.

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Hit us up on our socials,

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and let's keep this conversation going.

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And who knows, maybe we'll even inspire

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some healthy algorithm-free conversations along the way.

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Until next time.