Okay, so like picture this right.
You're doom scrolling on TikTok, you know how it is.
Cute dogs, one minute.
And then bam, relationship advice.
How to nowhere.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's always so intense, like girl, run.
He's not peeling that orange, right?
Divorce him.
Red flag.
Red flag, it's wild, right?
But like, is it really that simple?
Is all relationship advice on the internet
just totally bonkers?
Oh, it's tempting to just scroll on by, right?
But this whole divorce him thing, it's everywhere.
And honestly, I think it says a lot about
how we think about relationships these days.
Which is exactly what we're diving into today.
We've got this awesome Vox article that you sent me,
and it's all about how divorce him became
like the internet's relationship mantra.
Yeah, it's a fascinating read.
Totally.
So it talks about this whole dump him culture on TikTok,
and it really does seem to be aimed at women, right?
Yeah, definitely.
Their article makes a really good point
about how algorithms play into all this.
Like TikTok, it feeds off of drama.
Oh, for sure.
The more extreme something is, the more black and white,
the more likely it is to go viral.
Nuance, not so much.
So basically, we're getting this super skewed view
of relationships because, well, negativity gets clicks.
Pretty much.
And this negativity bias,
it's not just in relationship advice,
it's everywhere online.
But it's definitely amplified
when it comes to love and relationships.
Why do you think that is?
Oh, that's a good question.
I don't know.
Maybe it's because relationships can be so messy, right?
Right.
Like we want those clear-cut answers,
even when they don't really exist.
I think you're onto something there.
It's like we want those warning signs.
It makes us feel more in control.
Yeah.
Even if the signs themselves are a little ridiculous.
Like that whole orange peel test thing.
Remember that one?
The article mentioned it, how your partner peels an orange
can tell you everything you need to know
about your future together.
It's amazing what goes viral these days.
Right, as if I needed another reason to be single.
Oh, he peels his oranges clockwise, deal breaker.
It's hilarious though, but like you said,
there's something kind of real
underneath all of the silliness, isn't there?
100%.
These little bite-sized narratives, even the crazy ones,
they offer us something that's super appealing certainty.
In a world that feels increasingly uncertain,
it's no wonder we cling to those simple narratives.
Totally, it's like we all want that cheat code for love,
even if deep down we know it probably doesn't exist.
But are we missing something important when we do that?
Like are we so busy looking for the red flags
that we miss the good stuff?
I feel like that's something to think about.
But it's not just about wanting control
in our relationships, right?
I think it goes deeper than that.
The Vox article definitely hinted at that.
It's like there's this whole conversation happening
right now about what we expect from relationships.
Like traditional roles versus like, you know,
actually wanting things to be equal.
Totally, like it's 2024 people.
Right, it's about time, don't you think?
For sure, and the article mentioned that study,
the one from Pew Research, about how women
just don't feel as empowered by all these societal changes,
compared to men, I mean.
Oh yeah, it was something like 59% of women felt empowered,
but only 48% of men.
A huge difference.
Makes you think, right?
Like are we really making progress if half of us are like,
wait, this isn't working.
Exactly, so it makes sense that, you know,
women are turning to the internet for support,
even if the advice is a little extreme.
So like they just wanna be heard and understood, you know?
Absolutely, because honestly,
sometimes it feels like those conversations
are harder to have offline, you know what I mean?
100%, like it's easier to rant on TikTok
than it is to actually like talk to your partner
about what's bothering you.
Sad, but true, although you know,
this whole divorce-im thing,
it's not always about fixing a relationship
that's already there.
Sometimes it's about like completely rethinking
what a relationship even is.
That's a really good point.
Like the article mentioned non-monogamy
and platonic partnerships.
All these different ways of doing relationships.
Exactly, which is kinda cool when you think about it.
Yeah, it's like we're finally giving ourselves permission
to write our own rules.
Totally, although speaking of rules,
there's that whole other side to all this, right?
Like the whole putting your relationship on blast thing.
Oh yeah, for sure, the article talked about that too.
Like it's one thing to make a joke about the orange peel
test, it's another thing entirely to like air
all your dirty laundry online.
Because as tempting as it is to crowdsource
your relationship advice.
It's probably not the best idea.
It can get messy, right?
Oh yeah.
Like it's almost like you're inviting everyone
to have an opinion on your relationship
and not everyone's gonna be like super helpful, you know?
Exactly, it's like you're opening up this can of worms
and you can't just like close it back up
when things get out of control.
And the thing is, it's so easy to get caught up
in all that online drama, isn't it?
Super easy.
Like you see other people's problems
and you start comparing and then suddenly
your own relationship doesn't seem so great.
It's like the internet can make you feel
like you're always missing out,
even when it comes to like relationship problems.
Totally, so if we're not supposed to be getting
our relationship advice from TikTok, where do we go?
Well, the article actually had a pretty simple answer
for that.
Yeah.
Lay it on me.
Talk to each other.
Wait, seriously, that's it?
I know, I know, it sounds kinda obvious,
but honestly, it's the most important thing.
But like what if talking to your partner
is like the actual problem?
That's fair.
Like what if you're not even on the same page
about, you know, basic stuff?
That's where like really good communication comes in.
And I know that's easier said than done,
but the article made this point about how like,
even when it's hard, even when you're arguing,
choosing to talk things out,
it builds a stronger foundation
than like any viral trend ever could.
That's true.
I mean, relationships are all about connection, right?
And connection comes from, well, actually connecting,
not just like posting about it online.
And you know, sometimes the bravest thing you can do
is log off, put down your phone,
and just like really listen to your partner.
No filters, no algorithms, just you guys.
Exactly, it's like, remember why you're together
in the first place.
I love that.
This whole conversation has been super eye-opening,
you know, I feel like we've covered so much ground.
Me too.
It's always fascinating to see like,
how these internet trends reflect
what's actually going on in our lives.
For sure, it's like holding up a mirror to ourselves,
isn't it? Oh dear.
So to all our listeners out there,
have you seen this divorce him trend online?
Does it make you wanna laugh, cry,
throw your phone out the window?
We wanna hear your thoughts.
Hit us up on our socials,
and let's keep this conversation going.
And who knows, maybe we'll even inspire
some healthy algorithm-free conversations along the way.
Until next time.