WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.140 Today we have with us Haley Leone, an educator, 00:00:03.560 --> 00:00:06.900 creative, and podcast host. People run into me 00:00:06.900 --> 00:00:09.160 and be like, oh my god, the podcast. They always 00:00:09.160 --> 00:00:10.859 say like they really love what we do and being 00:00:10.859 --> 00:00:17.789 consistent is inspirational to them. With a St. 00:00:17.890 --> 00:00:20.769 Martin -born mother and a Belizean -born father, 00:00:20.989 --> 00:00:23.269 pursuing her passion for education, she moved 00:00:23.269 --> 00:00:25.550 to the Netherlands. I think I struggled a lot 00:00:25.550 --> 00:00:28.309 with seeing my value as a person. When I just 00:00:28.309 --> 00:00:30.350 came up here, it was more so trying to find my 00:00:30.350 --> 00:00:32.549 worth. She's making an impact in the classroom 00:00:32.549 --> 00:00:35.289 while continuing to embrace her creative side. 00:00:35.490 --> 00:00:38.549 I've seen it now manifest into ways now where 00:00:38.549 --> 00:00:40.549 students are running through on the streets in 00:00:40.549 --> 00:00:43.049 Den Haag and they're like nurses now. Or they 00:00:43.049 --> 00:00:45.329 started their own businesses and they remember 00:00:45.329 --> 00:00:47.770 certain conversations. they had with me oh we 00:00:47.770 --> 00:00:54.789 gotta get into some of that yes people welcome 00:00:54.789 --> 00:01:03.490 to the sunside kingdom show here today welcome 00:01:03.490 --> 00:01:05.790 welcome welcome that's a really good description 00:01:05.790 --> 00:01:10.090 oh nice yeah how are you I'm good. I feel like 00:01:10.090 --> 00:01:12.549 the start of the year, usually when I start the 00:01:12.549 --> 00:01:15.230 year, I'm in such a like a, I don't know, not 00:01:15.230 --> 00:01:20.469 a place of worry or just a place of like, I wouldn't 00:01:20.469 --> 00:01:22.150 say loss, but just trying to figure out where 00:01:22.150 --> 00:01:24.370 the year is going to head. Yeah. And this year 00:01:24.370 --> 00:01:27.650 I started with so much like knowing what I want 00:01:27.650 --> 00:01:30.569 to do. Oh, nice. So it's like, I just feel like 00:01:30.569 --> 00:01:35.430 at peace in a way. So in general, I'm good. Nice, 00:01:35.489 --> 00:01:40.769 nice, nice. You? You're switching these podcast 00:01:40.769 --> 00:01:46.760 hosts. I'm not accustomed to being a guest. I'm 00:01:46.760 --> 00:01:50.540 asking the question. But I'm good. I'm good. 00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:56.439 I'm feeling good. Actually, that's also a part 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:58.659 in thanks to you guys, because you guys definitely 00:01:58.659 --> 00:02:02.540 started the year off in a bang. And I was very 00:02:02.540 --> 00:02:06.379 grateful and happy to be part of that. January 00:02:06.379 --> 00:02:10.580 10th moment, a few days before my 40th birthday. 00:02:10.659 --> 00:02:15.039 It definitely set the tone and the energy for 00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:17.770 me. starting off the year so i really love that 00:02:17.770 --> 00:02:20.509 the year five and and that's actually coming 00:02:20.509 --> 00:02:23.250 out in a vlog the vlog might be out by the time 00:02:23.250 --> 00:02:26.370 this episode is out but anyways you documented 00:02:26.370 --> 00:02:29.210 the night yes yes yes yes i could give you a 00:02:29.210 --> 00:02:33.110 preview later please i want to see it yeah all 00:02:33.110 --> 00:02:37.259 right so Tell us a bit more from your perspective, 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:41.800 who are you today? And what has been some of 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:45.479 your biggest accomplishments over the last two, 00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:48.699 three years? Sometimes when I think, well, that's 00:02:48.699 --> 00:02:50.240 a good question, but sometimes when I think about 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:53.629 it, I think I have... started to become the person 00:02:53.629 --> 00:02:56.830 i always dreamt of becoming nice i don't think 00:02:56.830 --> 00:03:00.229 i have a actual way of describing like okay i'm 00:03:00.229 --> 00:03:02.370 this person specifically but i always knew one 00:03:02.370 --> 00:03:05.469 of my biggest passions and purpose was to just 00:03:05.469 --> 00:03:08.889 be a person for the people and not necessarily 00:03:08.889 --> 00:03:11.990 i guess in a way like you want to accomplish 00:03:11.990 --> 00:03:14.150 things on a personal level but i feel like for 00:03:14.150 --> 00:03:16.669 me it was always about doing something for others 00:03:16.669 --> 00:03:19.509 yeah and i always wanted to be a teacher so i 00:03:19.509 --> 00:03:22.699 think that's part of my purpose like teaching 00:03:22.699 --> 00:03:26.000 and to me people always talk i know when we started 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:29.400 the study one of my teachers was like you i don't 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:31.139 want to be a teacher because you love the subject 00:03:31.139 --> 00:03:34.180 or because you want to be a teacher so like i 00:03:34.180 --> 00:03:38.139 like english but it's not really Why ideal? Yeah, 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:40.300 yeah, yeah. You know? But I feel like, to me, 00:03:40.340 --> 00:03:42.900 it's more so the, like, we call it pedagogy. 00:03:43.020 --> 00:03:45.460 So, like, the pedagogy of everything. So, like, 00:03:45.460 --> 00:03:47.199 the connection with the students, having those 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:50.080 conversations and help them, like, becoming the 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:51.979 person they're supposed to become. I think, like, 00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:55.479 that's one of my purposes. And I've seen it now 00:03:55.479 --> 00:03:58.139 manifest into ways now where, like, students 00:03:58.139 --> 00:04:00.020 are coming, like, running through on the streets 00:04:00.020 --> 00:04:03.180 in Den Haag and they're, like, nurses now. Oh, 00:04:03.219 --> 00:04:05.780 wow. Or, like, they started their own businesses. 00:04:06.189 --> 00:04:08.050 and they remember certain conversations that 00:04:08.050 --> 00:04:11.270 they had with me. So I feel like on one level, 00:04:11.389 --> 00:04:14.870 that's part of who I am. Just always an educator 00:04:14.870 --> 00:04:18.189 and a teacher of life. And that manifests in 00:04:18.189 --> 00:04:21.910 its way of also the podcast. So to me, when we 00:04:21.910 --> 00:04:24.750 started the podcast, it was just to kind of bridge 00:04:24.750 --> 00:04:28.189 the gap between who we were and who we wanted 00:04:28.189 --> 00:04:31.149 to be, but also have those conversations on camera 00:04:31.149 --> 00:04:34.550 for our generation. Because there's a lot of 00:04:34.550 --> 00:04:38.170 podcasts out there, but I think the representation 00:04:38.170 --> 00:04:40.610 of seeing people who think or who come from the 00:04:40.610 --> 00:04:43.810 same background is always missing for me personally. 00:04:44.649 --> 00:04:48.290 And just to be that inspiration, I guess, for 00:04:48.290 --> 00:04:50.509 others and also to myself, because I think when 00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:52.149 I look in the mirror, I still want to be the 00:04:52.149 --> 00:04:55.149 person that, you know, I'm proud of and that 00:04:55.149 --> 00:04:58.519 I continue to be. who i want or set the level 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:00.899 to be so i would say that's who the person i 00:05:00.899 --> 00:05:03.199 am now and i think in the past few years so teaching 00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:07.620 the podcast and also joining um i said you said 00:05:07.620 --> 00:05:10.660 sale assist earlier i felt like i started the 00:05:10.660 --> 00:05:13.720 podcast but i wanted to do something that was 00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:16.279 more hands -on on the ground on the island because 00:05:16.279 --> 00:05:18.259 if people ain't familiar with sale assist they 00:05:18.259 --> 00:05:20.720 were doing a lot because during the pandemic 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:23.240 they started like this whole online movement 00:05:23.240 --> 00:05:26.019 for the people up here yeah because they did 00:05:26.019 --> 00:05:29.720 a lot of live shows, basically, but literally 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:34.360 on live. Oh, on Instagram live. Where they connected 00:05:34.360 --> 00:05:36.540 a lot of creatives and artists so the people 00:05:36.540 --> 00:05:39.220 had something to watch and do during the lockdown. 00:05:39.220 --> 00:05:41.399 During the pandemic, yeah. And then that manifested 00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:45.360 into so much content and bridging our culture 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:48.060 and sharing it with the world. And I just wanted 00:05:48.060 --> 00:05:51.779 to also be more hands -on in that way. So that's 00:05:51.779 --> 00:05:54.879 why I joined them. So yeah, I'd say I'm a true 00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:58.399 Samartiner too. So that's who I am. So then for 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:02.420 those, for the few out there that might not have 00:06:02.420 --> 00:06:06.379 heard of Bite the Bullet podcast, could you dive 00:06:06.379 --> 00:06:10.360 into exactly what it is, why you guys started 00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:15.139 it? Okay. So elaborate on that a bit more. Sorry 00:06:15.139 --> 00:06:18.980 for the interruption, but... please like comment 00:06:18.980 --> 00:06:22.620 and subscribe it helps the channel out so much 00:06:22.620 --> 00:06:25.800 so we can get this content out to more people 00:06:25.800 --> 00:06:29.339 that definitely need inspiration motivation and 00:06:29.339 --> 00:06:32.060 that mindset shift to elevate them to the best 00:06:32.060 --> 00:06:35.139 versions of themselves thank you checking in 00:06:35.139 --> 00:06:37.500 checking out from the sunny side of the kingdom 00:06:38.170 --> 00:06:40.850 bless so bite the bullet is basically a podcast 00:06:40.850 --> 00:06:44.490 with me and my co -host jojo renee and um we 00:06:44.490 --> 00:06:48.730 kind of wanted to have a podcast where um we 00:06:48.730 --> 00:06:51.129 talked about everything so and especially the 00:06:51.129 --> 00:06:53.129 things that we deal with as young adults whether 00:06:53.129 --> 00:06:57.819 that is um Mental health, your social life, dating, 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:02.199 just everything, pop culture, music, everything 00:07:02.199 --> 00:07:05.379 that goes on into the world. And have the conversations 00:07:05.379 --> 00:07:08.019 also with women and men that sometimes we don't, 00:07:08.019 --> 00:07:11.139 are a bit taboo, but also sometimes we just don't 00:07:11.139 --> 00:07:15.720 have. For some reason, the two are in a heterosexual 00:07:15.720 --> 00:07:18.980 world. They just don't align or see each other's 00:07:18.980 --> 00:07:20.980 perspective a lot of the time. So that was also 00:07:20.980 --> 00:07:24.439 one of our biggest goals. um but then also i 00:07:24.439 --> 00:07:26.439 think it's so funny when we started i don't think 00:07:26.439 --> 00:07:29.899 we expected our niche to be caribbean it kind 00:07:29.899 --> 00:07:32.560 of just happened yeah i realized that that's 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:34.839 what people were taking away of it taken away 00:07:34.839 --> 00:07:37.439 from it the most that they were connecting with 00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:39.420 us just based on the fact that we were from the 00:07:39.420 --> 00:07:43.079 islands but we also set it off just to be as 00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:46.939 individuals at this age i guess yeah yeah yeah 00:07:46.939 --> 00:07:50.180 and but we touch into everything basically and 00:07:50.180 --> 00:07:52.680 it kind of manifested now into us starting our 00:07:52.680 --> 00:07:57.019 own business having our own studio and um So 00:07:57.019 --> 00:07:58.639 those are actually some of the accomplishments. 00:07:58.839 --> 00:08:02.199 Yeah, I guess. It's so funny. Jodi was tinging 00:08:02.199 --> 00:08:05.699 for this. Not that I don't tap myself on the 00:08:05.699 --> 00:08:09.660 back, but it's like, how to put it? I know I 00:08:09.660 --> 00:08:14.300 achieve things, but it's not, I don't know. It's 00:08:14.300 --> 00:08:17.579 not your forefront focus. Yeah. It's not because 00:08:17.579 --> 00:08:20.120 it is a part of who I am. But to me, the biggest 00:08:20.120 --> 00:08:22.660 thing is like just how I show up in the world. 00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:25.680 And the impact that you could create for others. 00:08:25.959 --> 00:08:28.660 Exactly. And of course, on an internal level, 00:08:28.779 --> 00:08:30.759 there's things I want to achieve and I'm proud 00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:34.779 of. Because actually, yeah, you didn't tap in 00:08:34.779 --> 00:08:39.080 on, let's say, the metrics that others would 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:41.480 normally choose. Like, okay, we started a business. 00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:44.350 We opened our own studio. etc but you gave the 00:08:44.350 --> 00:08:47.190 examples of running into the students that are 00:08:47.190 --> 00:08:51.169 now nurses yeah um so so maybe let's tap into 00:08:51.169 --> 00:08:56.740 from your perspective then how Have you ran into 00:08:56.740 --> 00:08:59.960 anyone where the podcast has impacted them in 00:08:59.960 --> 00:09:02.320 a certain way that you could share? For sure. 00:09:02.419 --> 00:09:06.100 I think the funny thing is, like, I know my friends 00:09:06.100 --> 00:09:08.320 personally and my brother, like, they're the 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:10.879 people that messaged me firsthand to just discuss 00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:13.240 things that we're talking about. But then even 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:15.820 on the streets of, especially the Hague, that's 00:09:15.820 --> 00:09:19.220 where I live, just... People run into me and 00:09:19.220 --> 00:09:21.700 be like, oh, my God, the podcast. And the biggest 00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:24.220 thing for them is like they always say like they 00:09:24.220 --> 00:09:26.299 really love what we're doing, but also specifically 00:09:26.299 --> 00:09:30.659 the fact that they have a voice of the people. 00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:34.019 Yeah. For them, it's just really what matters 00:09:34.019 --> 00:09:37.039 the most. And I think from people from the outside 00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:38.799 looking in, I think a lot of people are just 00:09:38.799 --> 00:09:41.610 proud that. people from the islands, the small 00:09:41.610 --> 00:09:45.269 islands, St. Martin and Sabre, just as an inspiration, 00:09:45.269 --> 00:09:49.450 being consistent in what we're doing is inspirational 00:09:49.450 --> 00:09:52.549 to them. But a lot of the topics sometimes is 00:09:52.549 --> 00:09:55.970 like, damn, like, yeah. Like, they thought about 00:09:55.970 --> 00:09:59.909 it, but also hearing it into words, that is what 00:09:59.909 --> 00:10:01.990 does it for them. I think that's, in general, 00:10:02.070 --> 00:10:04.950 like, the biggest things I've heard over the 00:10:04.950 --> 00:10:09.759 past few years with the podcast. Yeah. Awesome. 00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:13.659 Yeah. Yeah. So that deserves a little tap on 00:10:13.659 --> 00:10:16.480 the shoulder. I know. I need to start doing it 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:20.220 more. But yeah. But it's part of your personality 00:10:20.220 --> 00:10:22.539 and you shouldn't change who you are for anything. 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:25.539 Because I think about it like not that I'm not 00:10:25.539 --> 00:10:28.539 business minded or whatever, because my mind 00:10:28.539 --> 00:10:31.340 is always constantly going. But I guess that's 00:10:31.340 --> 00:10:34.879 just not. I don't know. It's not at the forefront. 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:39.100 Yeah. Yeah. And that's fine. So how. Because 00:10:39.100 --> 00:10:42.980 you mentioned purpose now a couple times. And 00:10:42.980 --> 00:10:46.080 you mentioned earlier that you feel that the 00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:48.820 season that you're in now, you're really starting 00:10:48.820 --> 00:10:51.299 to blossom into the person that you always believed 00:10:51.299 --> 00:10:57.100 you could be. So how deeply do you feel currently 00:10:57.100 --> 00:11:00.679 connected to purpose in your current career and 00:11:00.679 --> 00:11:07.740 outside ventures? Connected in what way? Um, 00:11:07.779 --> 00:11:15.259 so let's say you're, how, how do you feel that 00:11:15.259 --> 00:11:19.600 you're living out your purpose? So funny enough, 00:11:19.679 --> 00:11:21.600 when I was, because I journal sometimes too, 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.179 and I was looking back at a lot of different, 00:11:24.259 --> 00:11:27.039 like, where I was when I started my study, where 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:29.799 I was when I was struggling with my study, because 00:11:29.799 --> 00:11:31.379 that's something a lot of us face when we come 00:11:31.379 --> 00:11:34.840 up to this country, and just simple things and 00:11:34.840 --> 00:11:37.440 what I wanted to achieve. Because before I started 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:39.139 the podcast, I think the first thing I started 00:11:39.139 --> 00:11:43.240 was my YouTube channel, Doing Makeup. and even 00:11:43.240 --> 00:11:45.879 when i started that i wasn't necessarily because 00:11:45.879 --> 00:11:48.820 of makeup it was because i saw a lack of representation 00:11:48.820 --> 00:11:51.960 of women that looked like me and just in at the 00:11:51.960 --> 00:11:53.899 time i lived cloning and so it was even hard 00:11:53.899 --> 00:11:57.559 to find makeup for my skin color and etc so i 00:11:57.559 --> 00:11:59.440 watched back a couple of videos the other day 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:03.100 and i realized like everything i started from 00:12:03.100 --> 00:12:07.000 back then was always to send a message and to 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:10.519 really um Be an inspiration to others that I 00:12:10.519 --> 00:12:15.759 often didn't always have growing up. So be the 00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:19.019 inspiration for others, which technically is 00:12:19.019 --> 00:12:21.440 the inspiration for yourself that you wish you 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:25.320 had. As a younger adult or just even as a teenager 00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:29.399 sometimes. And I feel like back to everything 00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:31.879 I do now, whether that's a podcast or teaching, 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:36.049 I realize that I am doing it. You know, it's 00:12:36.049 --> 00:12:38.570 just sometimes I need to sit in it and realize 00:12:38.570 --> 00:12:42.590 that. But I feel like I'm already doing it without 00:12:42.590 --> 00:12:46.610 realizing sometimes. And it's definitely me walking 00:12:46.610 --> 00:12:48.909 in line of my purpose and I feel connected to 00:12:48.909 --> 00:12:52.909 it. But I think sometimes, and I know some people 00:12:52.909 --> 00:12:56.210 might relate in a sense of like, you do stuff 00:12:56.210 --> 00:12:59.929 sometimes, like what I say, but you don't sit 00:12:59.929 --> 00:13:05.049 and... like notice all the steps of you that 00:13:05.049 --> 00:13:07.929 you've taken up until this point yeah so that's 00:13:07.929 --> 00:13:11.470 on unless you actually pause and take time to 00:13:11.470 --> 00:13:15.610 reflect on all what has happened what has transpired 00:13:15.610 --> 00:13:19.049 and how it has affected you and how it has transformed 00:13:19.049 --> 00:13:23.169 you into let's say, the next level. Yeah, exactly. 00:13:23.529 --> 00:13:25.450 But it's only moments sometimes like when I sit 00:13:25.450 --> 00:13:28.009 back and read things or just look back. Even, 00:13:28.049 --> 00:13:30.190 you know, iPhone does really do us dirty and 00:13:30.190 --> 00:13:33.450 show memories from like, they show pictures from 00:13:33.450 --> 00:13:37.610 2018. Why are they doing us dirty? I don't know. 00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:40.809 Okay, so maybe that's a generational disconnect 00:13:40.809 --> 00:13:43.289 now. So why is the iPhone doing us dirty with 00:13:43.289 --> 00:13:45.649 that? You don't have the widget that shows like 00:13:45.649 --> 00:13:48.350 a random. But I wouldn't say doing us dirty. 00:13:48.470 --> 00:13:51.230 Okay, not doing us. dirty but i'm like showing 00:13:51.230 --> 00:13:54.450 me where i was back then okay i guess maybe it's 00:13:54.450 --> 00:13:57.850 not dirty so what what well let's tap into that 00:13:57.850 --> 00:14:00.669 okay because you say it it would the iphone is 00:14:00.669 --> 00:14:04.570 doing us dirty and it shows me back in 2018 But 00:14:04.570 --> 00:14:07.769 why would you feel that way? So you weren't in 00:14:07.769 --> 00:14:11.250 the best place in 2018? Definitely not. Okay. 00:14:11.370 --> 00:14:13.809 In a sense of, I definitely struggled because 00:14:13.809 --> 00:14:15.889 I was one of those, you say, long studiators. 00:14:16.250 --> 00:14:19.230 Like, it took me eight years to get my diploma. 00:14:20.870 --> 00:14:24.110 At the time, so this was before COVID. At the 00:14:24.110 --> 00:14:28.309 time, I was living in Diemen -Zuid. So you moved 00:14:28.309 --> 00:14:31.110 to Amsterdam as well? Yes, I moved from Groningen 00:14:31.110 --> 00:14:34.279 to Diemen -Zuid and then to Den Haag. Yeah. and 00:14:34.279 --> 00:14:37.820 i was in a place of like basically i've speaking 00:14:37.820 --> 00:14:40.519 up speaking about now like i knew what i wanted 00:14:40.519 --> 00:14:43.240 to be doing but i didn't have the resources to 00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:46.960 start and also i was yeah because we come up 00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:49.639 here to study and then sometimes you have this 00:14:49.639 --> 00:14:51.440 moment of like is this really what i want to 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:55.529 do because i know you know i know like i like 00:14:55.529 --> 00:14:57.789 teaching but i know outside of that there's always 00:14:57.789 --> 00:14:59.769 going to be other things that i want to tap into 00:14:59.769 --> 00:15:01.769 yeah other things that you're interested in yeah 00:15:01.769 --> 00:15:04.929 so it's like do i follow one path and realizing 00:15:04.929 --> 00:15:06.950 i guess over the years i realized you could follow 00:15:06.950 --> 00:15:10.370 multiple paths true so i guess i was in that 00:15:10.370 --> 00:15:12.809 phase of just trying to figure it out but then 00:15:12.809 --> 00:15:15.110 also on a personal level like if i was in a right 00:15:15.110 --> 00:15:18.730 relationship that was draining me so it was a 00:15:18.730 --> 00:15:23.100 it was a lot of things at the time um that was 00:15:23.100 --> 00:15:25.279 dealing with so it's not that way i said do me 00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:27.960 dirty and realizing that like yeah so the iphone 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.279 was just reminding you of a period in your life 00:15:30.279 --> 00:15:33.120 that was pretty intense and difficult so that's 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:34.720 why you're like hey you're doing me dirty by 00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:38.059 reminding me of that but but but when we five 00:15:38.059 --> 00:15:40.179 years into the future and the iphone is reminding 00:15:40.179 --> 00:15:42.860 you at this time you this time period you might 00:15:42.860 --> 00:15:47.049 go oh yeah consider it doing me dirty yeah that's 00:15:47.049 --> 00:15:51.549 true yeah or snapchat memories but yeah but i 00:15:51.549 --> 00:15:53.210 guess in a way i shouldn't read it like that 00:15:53.210 --> 00:15:55.230 it's not doing me dirty it's just actually reminding 00:15:55.230 --> 00:15:58.950 me of like where i came from what the journey 00:15:58.950 --> 00:16:03.409 was actually so yeah yeah so you were going through 00:16:03.409 --> 00:16:08.289 the motions and and and feeling that this version 00:16:08.289 --> 00:16:12.529 of you you know that there's that there's a version 00:16:12.529 --> 00:16:16.340 of you with higher potential you can start to 00:16:16.340 --> 00:16:18.899 see that version of you. You can start to feel 00:16:18.899 --> 00:16:21.039 that version of you, but you're not living that 00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:24.340 version of you. And that can be very, very difficult. 00:16:24.580 --> 00:16:28.580 It is, yeah. So what steps did you take or what 00:16:28.580 --> 00:16:32.320 did you need to change in order to start to tap 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:35.519 into? that potential version of you and then 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:37.299 become the version of you that you are today. 00:16:37.659 --> 00:16:40.940 Because if we look back, it's been almost seven 00:16:40.940 --> 00:16:43.899 years. So there's quite some life that happened. 00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:46.360 It's so funny because a lot of people know we 00:16:46.360 --> 00:16:48.299 were having conversations before here about the 00:16:48.299 --> 00:16:50.500 years. And as you were speaking, I was just there 00:16:50.500 --> 00:16:52.580 reflecting on where I was because we basically 00:16:52.580 --> 00:16:56.059 have the same number. But I think, honestly, 00:16:56.379 --> 00:16:58.899 going back to the conversation, maybe it might 00:16:58.899 --> 00:17:01.990 sound cliche, but talking to... people that i 00:17:01.990 --> 00:17:05.430 knew always saw that in me so for me that's my 00:17:05.430 --> 00:17:08.349 mother and definitely my brother those are like 00:17:08.349 --> 00:17:12.009 the two pillars in my life that um always bring 00:17:12.009 --> 00:17:15.190 me back to reality yeah of who i am i think at 00:17:15.190 --> 00:17:18.990 that moment i didn't have that in me but then 00:17:18.990 --> 00:17:21.369 having those conversations with them of realizing 00:17:21.369 --> 00:17:23.789 like maybe there's certain like environments 00:17:23.789 --> 00:17:27.759 you need to take yourself out of to um Really 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:29.940 do what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah. And 00:17:29.940 --> 00:17:33.259 my mother's a very, like, say how she say it, 00:17:33.319 --> 00:17:36.859 straight to the point, down to earth type of 00:17:36.859 --> 00:17:39.339 woman. So she would just have those conversations 00:17:39.339 --> 00:17:42.519 with me. And I think realizing, like, okay, you 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:44.400 know, and sometimes we don't want to hear what 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:46.960 they have to say. Yeah, yeah. But I've always 00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:49.079 been a person where, like, I hear it, I listen, 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:52.019 I listen a lot. And I go back home and I, like, 00:17:52.019 --> 00:17:55.220 sit in it. Okay. And it took a lot of self -reflection. 00:17:56.420 --> 00:17:59.819 And it was hard. I'm not going to lie. It was 00:17:59.819 --> 00:18:02.880 hard of like having to pick yourself up and just 00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:07.240 basically exit out to certain things and be real 00:18:07.240 --> 00:18:10.859 with yourself. Yeah. Because I think not I was 00:18:10.859 --> 00:18:14.359 living in delusion, but like definitely not being 00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:16.259 honest with myself that a lot of the things I 00:18:16.259 --> 00:18:19.880 was doing or choosing for myself wasn't beneficial 00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:24.049 to me. Yeah. And until I had Duda is when I started 00:18:24.049 --> 00:18:27.190 noticing the changes of actively getting up every 00:18:27.190 --> 00:18:29.589 day to do the opposite of what I was doing before. 00:18:29.910 --> 00:18:33.170 And I think as I was doing that, eventually I 00:18:33.170 --> 00:18:35.230 just started to love the feeling and realizing 00:18:35.230 --> 00:18:38.809 like, okay, now I'm starting to feel like this 00:18:38.809 --> 00:18:40.269 is who I'm supposed to be and this is what I'm 00:18:40.269 --> 00:18:42.569 supposed to be doing. And I just continued channeling 00:18:42.569 --> 00:18:50.309 that energy from there on forward. So if we... 00:18:50.599 --> 00:18:54.619 Jump back to 2018. So by when do you feel that 00:18:54.619 --> 00:18:56.980 you kind of cut some of those ties and moved 00:18:56.980 --> 00:19:00.859 on? It took a while. I would say COVID, but also 00:19:00.859 --> 00:19:03.940 COVID. Like a lot of people talk about COVID 00:19:03.940 --> 00:19:06.259 was a hard time, but it was also such a, it was 00:19:06.259 --> 00:19:09.180 a time that a lot of us needed. Yeah. Because 00:19:09.180 --> 00:19:11.799 when you're home sitting down with yourself for 00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:15.880 hours, you realize like, okay, because you don't 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:17.839 know where the world heading right now. So it's 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:21.000 like, I realized like, So it took 2018 to 2020, 00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:23.559 you could basically say, because 2020 is when 00:19:23.559 --> 00:19:26.660 I really shifted. I really started because I 00:19:26.660 --> 00:19:29.960 also started other podcasts before when I was 00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:33.200 a Dutch podcast with this other friend. And even 00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:35.720 in that situation, it was like I was ready to 00:19:35.720 --> 00:19:39.220 work. And I was like, OK, like I've spent so 00:19:39.220 --> 00:19:42.000 many years now wasting time and energy. I was 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:44.160 so ready to work. And I guess, unfortunately, 00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:47.779 the situation wasn't in that space because everyone. 00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:52.059 not to go there but like i so they weren't really 00:19:52.059 --> 00:19:54.140 ready to work at the same pace you were ready 00:19:54.140 --> 00:19:56.519 to work so you needed to find your energetic 00:19:56.519 --> 00:20:00.680 partner exactly and um i guess even in that moment 00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:02.640 that was also a moment of realizing like instead 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:05.660 of sticking in it like i exited immediately yeah 00:20:05.660 --> 00:20:09.039 yeah and that was serving me gone exactly and 00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:12.299 then that's when i realized okay like i i'm starting 00:20:12.299 --> 00:20:18.839 to um Basically, like, what was the saying? You 00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:20.720 could have a certain way of being and habits, 00:20:20.920 --> 00:20:23.079 but then it's like when you're faced with actually 00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:24.799 having to practice what you preach in certain 00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:28.420 situations, I realized, okay, cool. I was ready. 00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:30.359 Because I was out, some people look at it. I 00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:31.759 remember having a conversation with one of my 00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:33.380 friends from Celeste. She was like, you could 00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:36.619 sit there and really try, but ultimately sometimes 00:20:36.619 --> 00:20:40.519 people don't realize how exiting a situation 00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:43.259 is actually the best thing you could do. Oh, 00:20:43.259 --> 00:20:47.799 yes. For yourself. And don't look at it as something. 00:20:47.980 --> 00:20:50.240 bad but look at it as like you actually set in 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:52.880 the boundaries and learn what you want yeah and 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:55.880 that was like the and and the crazy thing about 00:20:55.880 --> 00:21:01.319 that is the more that you practice it is the 00:21:01.319 --> 00:21:06.140 more that you realize that um sometimes you have 00:21:06.140 --> 00:21:10.000 to exit certain situations that is taking up 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:13.289 a certain amount of energy because and and In 00:21:13.289 --> 00:21:14.970 some ways, they might say energy is infinite, 00:21:15.089 --> 00:21:18.529 but around each person, there's also a finite 00:21:18.529 --> 00:21:22.130 amount of energy. Yeah. And if there's things 00:21:22.130 --> 00:21:24.390 that are not serving you that are taking up. 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:27.220 energy that means that things that can be serving 00:21:27.220 --> 00:21:30.339 you can't yeah be in that place exactly so you 00:21:30.339 --> 00:21:32.859 need to actually move that away to in order to 00:21:32.859 --> 00:21:35.640 free up that space to then allow the things that 00:21:35.640 --> 00:21:38.359 can actually serve you to flow but i find it 00:21:38.359 --> 00:21:41.420 sometimes so hard especially when some of us 00:21:41.420 --> 00:21:43.140 grow up with that mentality of like yeah but 00:21:43.140 --> 00:21:46.839 use your people and like we focus a lot on community 00:21:46.839 --> 00:21:49.380 and sometimes you have that loyalty of like just 00:21:49.380 --> 00:21:53.799 because It's people you don't want to, I guess, 00:21:53.799 --> 00:21:57.380 call it not negative energy or whatever. You 00:21:57.380 --> 00:22:00.700 try to give things like grace or whatever. But 00:22:00.700 --> 00:22:03.359 then it's like being real with yourself, realizing, 00:22:03.660 --> 00:22:06.900 yeah, but that comes sometimes with an expiration 00:22:06.900 --> 00:22:10.279 date. Yeah, exactly. Reasons and seasons. Reasons 00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:15.059 and seasons. Exactly. Yeah. Awesome. All right. 00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:19.059 So let's tap back into growing up. So you were 00:22:19.059 --> 00:22:23.380 born on St. Martin to a St. Martin mom and Belizean 00:22:23.380 --> 00:22:27.359 dad. Yeah. How was that like? So you have one 00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:31.059 sibling? No. So my father had two sons and they 00:22:31.059 --> 00:22:33.299 still live on Belize. Okay. They came to live 00:22:33.299 --> 00:22:35.500 with us a couple of years when I was younger. 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.849 And then with me, my... I guess in the household, 00:22:41.109 --> 00:22:43.269 my mother had me, my brother and me. I'm the 00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:47.109 youngest of four, basically. So I'm the only 00:22:47.109 --> 00:22:50.109 girl. The baby. I'm the baby and the only girl 00:22:50.109 --> 00:22:53.190 out of four. But for my mother, she has two kids. 00:22:54.910 --> 00:22:56.769 for me it was interesting because on the island 00:22:56.769 --> 00:22:59.609 i only had my mother's family but they're huge 00:22:59.609 --> 00:23:03.809 yeah and they are in its own also very big inspiration 00:23:03.809 --> 00:23:07.549 um but then i had my father but belizean also 00:23:07.549 --> 00:23:09.609 has this caribbean culture so it's not like it 00:23:09.609 --> 00:23:12.589 was that different but their norms could be different 00:23:12.589 --> 00:23:15.490 in the way of like how they run a household okay 00:23:15.490 --> 00:23:18.029 so i guess that was the biggest difference is 00:23:18.029 --> 00:23:20.150 that anything you could tap into uh i don't mind 00:23:20.150 --> 00:23:23.930 i don't know everybody will be happy but um i 00:23:23.930 --> 00:23:27.539 guess more traditional okay in a sense and my 00:23:27.539 --> 00:23:31.779 mother's a very as i say like opinionated outspoken 00:23:31.779 --> 00:23:35.559 person and i remember a lot of the times i clashed 00:23:35.559 --> 00:23:39.200 yeah yeah going up and um but at the same time 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:42.299 i think that also shaped like me and how i wanted 00:23:42.299 --> 00:23:46.380 to show up in the world yeah of um knowing that 00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:49.680 i have a voice and not letting anybody silence 00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:52.220 down But at the same time, it was lit because 00:23:52.220 --> 00:23:54.720 I also had family in America because my father's 00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:56.839 side, they all moved away from Belize, you know 00:23:56.839 --> 00:23:59.420 what I mean? So we went on vacation in the summers. 00:23:59.420 --> 00:24:03.839 It would be Miami, sorry, New York, California. 00:24:04.259 --> 00:24:07.799 Oh, nice. All over. So I always got to leave 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:10.339 and be with that side of the family. So then 00:24:10.339 --> 00:24:13.680 you got exposed to quite... yeah because going 00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:15.640 on vacation is one thing but going on vacation 00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:18.400 with family is that that they are sort of embedded 00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:23.299 into the into the society yeah gives you a whole 00:24:23.299 --> 00:24:25.980 lot of experience it does but also the switch 00:24:25.980 --> 00:24:29.240 of like seeing my father speak because i don't 00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:31.420 know why i guess if you grew up with a parent 00:24:31.420 --> 00:24:34.750 with an accent i didn't see I guess growing up, 00:24:34.750 --> 00:24:36.369 I didn't think it was an accent. I just thought 00:24:36.369 --> 00:24:37.769 that's how my father spoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:24:38.009 --> 00:24:40.210 And then I see him around his brothers and sisters 00:24:40.210 --> 00:24:42.890 and it's like this big switch to the Belizean 00:24:42.890 --> 00:24:45.150 accent. It was always so funny to me. So then 00:24:45.150 --> 00:24:47.990 the accent like cranked up a couple notches. 00:24:48.009 --> 00:24:53.289 Yeah. It was interesting. Yeah. But yeah, I love 00:24:53.289 --> 00:24:56.029 the culture too because it's very linked to... 00:24:56.029 --> 00:25:00.359 Because they have the... the Mayan culture very 00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:04.119 nearby in Belize. Yeah, yeah. Also Mexico is 00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:06.200 right there. So that was like the influence for 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:10.119 a lot of the cuisine as well. But then also linked 00:25:10.119 --> 00:25:12.059 to Jamaica because apparently like a lot of the 00:25:12.059 --> 00:25:14.420 slaves they had in Jamaica was also like in between 00:25:14.420 --> 00:25:19.359 the two Belize and Jamaica. Yeah. So, yeah, it's 00:25:19.359 --> 00:25:22.319 just a whole other history outside of the Samaritan 00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:24.539 one. But you've been to Belize as well? Yeah, 00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:26.619 we went, I think in my lifetime I went three 00:25:26.619 --> 00:25:31.150 times. Okay. um beautiful place but it's so beautiful 00:25:31.150 --> 00:25:33.750 and big also but just also it is a third world 00:25:33.750 --> 00:25:38.150 country yeah so um we didn't go off soon yeah 00:25:38.150 --> 00:25:41.230 very interesting but you know it like you've 00:25:41.230 --> 00:25:43.930 heard of it well i i definitely heard of it because 00:25:43.930 --> 00:25:49.619 um uh I've been a hip hop head since basically 00:25:49.619 --> 00:25:53.220 my teens. I mean, as a kid growing up, you would 00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:55.440 listen to the popular songs, so you know them. 00:25:55.619 --> 00:26:00.740 Yeah. But when I was 13, I, at that point, well, 00:26:00.819 --> 00:26:03.259 just before I turned 14, I moved to Dominica 00:26:03.259 --> 00:26:10.349 because my mom's family is from Dominica. I had 00:26:10.349 --> 00:26:13.789 a similar experience maybe a bit later in my 00:26:13.789 --> 00:26:17.349 life because her family, also many of them moved 00:26:17.349 --> 00:26:19.549 away from Dominica and living in the States. 00:26:19.710 --> 00:26:22.809 So by the time that I started traveling to the 00:26:22.809 --> 00:26:25.130 States, I started meeting a lot of my family 00:26:25.130 --> 00:26:28.329 that were in New York, in New Jersey, in Philadelphia. 00:26:31.379 --> 00:26:33.779 going and being with them that are integrated 00:26:33.779 --> 00:26:37.039 into society, then you get like a true, authentic 00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:41.700 New York experience. Exactly. What up, cuz? Nah, 00:26:41.859 --> 00:26:44.900 there's the police there. Exactly. Oh, I love 00:26:44.900 --> 00:26:47.980 it. Yeah. But also just realizing how worlds 00:26:47.980 --> 00:26:50.119 apart, you know, where we are, even though it's 00:26:50.119 --> 00:26:52.039 like we're playing right away. Yeah. And that 00:26:52.039 --> 00:26:54.079 they're like, how they grew up was so different, 00:26:54.140 --> 00:26:57.700 even though you family. So that was also cool 00:26:57.700 --> 00:27:01.170 to me. in a way but then my core family growing 00:27:01.170 --> 00:27:05.349 up was yeah the holidays on the island so then 00:27:05.349 --> 00:27:09.650 that was also different yeah well they're known 00:27:09.650 --> 00:27:15.690 for being um uh successful and in in a lot of 00:27:15.690 --> 00:27:20.810 key positions and uh and very much uh education 00:27:20.810 --> 00:27:24.609 and uh thing oriented yeah for sure but i think 00:27:24.609 --> 00:27:27.329 also like what i always remember growing up is 00:27:27.329 --> 00:27:31.190 like feeling like this um yeah but they but they 00:27:31.190 --> 00:27:33.410 also come from one of the other islands a few 00:27:33.410 --> 00:27:36.009 generations basically i guess you could say we 00:27:36.009 --> 00:27:38.829 petitioned okay because my grandmother was a 00:27:38.829 --> 00:27:43.069 petition and um my grandfather's mother was a 00:27:43.069 --> 00:27:46.829 petition and then also linked to marigot so it's 00:27:46.829 --> 00:27:50.900 like friend side and same kids So then it was 00:27:50.900 --> 00:27:53.660 like three generations back that moved to St. 00:27:53.740 --> 00:27:57.519 Martin? It depends which side of the family you're 00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:00.819 talking about. I don't know the whole history. 00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:03.559 Yeah, the holidays themselves are petitioned. 00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:06.180 Appropriately, they spell it differently. I think 00:28:06.180 --> 00:28:09.730 they say holiday. Like holiday. Like holiday, 00:28:09.750 --> 00:28:13.009 like with an A? Mm -hmm. Okay. And then I guess 00:28:13.009 --> 00:28:15.269 by the time it came to St. Martin, they changed 00:28:15.269 --> 00:28:19.170 it last name to Holiday. But then essentially 00:28:19.170 --> 00:28:21.930 it's St. Kitts. And then, of course, that was 00:28:21.930 --> 00:28:24.690 my grandfather's mother's side, but then his 00:28:24.690 --> 00:28:27.809 father was L .B. Scott. Oh, okay. So that is 00:28:27.809 --> 00:28:29.869 then like core St. Martin. Yeah, that is the 00:28:29.869 --> 00:28:33.549 core St. Martin side. Yeah. Yeah. But that's, 00:28:33.549 --> 00:28:36.690 I think if you dive into everyone's history, 00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:40.779 It's, yeah, the West Indies is all mixed up. 00:28:40.779 --> 00:28:44.380 Link is all, yeah. All connected somehow. Or 00:28:44.380 --> 00:28:46.759 they just never really was rooted into one island. 00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:49.660 Yeah. Because even like my Belizean side, we 00:28:49.660 --> 00:28:52.759 had a family tree moment, we're a family union. 00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:56.759 And my aunt realized that her mother's family 00:28:56.759 --> 00:29:00.859 came from a boat from Barbados. So you got Beijing 00:29:00.859 --> 00:29:03.839 in you too? Basically, yeah. Wow. So it's like 00:29:03.839 --> 00:29:06.619 all over. And then my brother did the DNA test. 00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:10.019 They could link the 23andMe. They could link 00:29:10.019 --> 00:29:12.720 some of our relatives to like Jamaica, but back 00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:15.380 to, I think, back then with the slaves being 00:29:15.380 --> 00:29:18.819 transported. So it's like, yeah, you're never 00:29:18.819 --> 00:29:23.180 really from one island. Yeah, yeah. You're a 00:29:23.180 --> 00:29:26.779 Caribbean person, West Indian. Basically, yeah. 00:29:27.359 --> 00:29:31.019 So with that being said. How would you say that 00:29:31.019 --> 00:29:34.980 your Caribbean roots has influenced your career 00:29:34.980 --> 00:29:37.680 trajectory and even the way that you operate 00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:43.099 within your careers today? Because I think you 00:29:43.099 --> 00:29:45.640 have two simultaneous tracks going right now. 00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.619 I think that's rooted in everything I do. I think 00:29:48.619 --> 00:29:52.759 going back to the point of, I think, yeah, my 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:56.700 family was always successful, but I think... 00:29:56.990 --> 00:29:59.769 what i wanted to say earlier is a big thing growing 00:29:59.769 --> 00:30:04.289 up in our family is like i guess loyalty to your 00:30:04.289 --> 00:30:08.490 culture and your island and community and making 00:30:08.490 --> 00:30:11.529 sure you give back yeah because my mother was 00:30:11.529 --> 00:30:14.390 also an educator but on the side i always saw 00:30:14.390 --> 00:30:18.119 her being in organizations that was big on whether 00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:20.259 that's helping the education on the island the 00:30:20.259 --> 00:30:23.779 youth on the island or just organizing events 00:30:23.779 --> 00:30:27.599 for our lectures for the people to kind of better 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:31.900 themselves um so that's kind of i guess where 00:30:31.900 --> 00:30:35.059 that stemmed from for me in a sense of like everything 00:30:35.059 --> 00:30:38.039 i do going to always be for people which is why 00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:41.779 i think that's who i am yeah um and i think also 00:30:41.779 --> 00:30:44.829 why I am the teacher I am in a way because for 00:30:44.829 --> 00:30:48.630 me it's also about making sure, fostering, like 00:30:48.630 --> 00:30:50.829 even within the classes that they realize that 00:30:50.829 --> 00:30:53.670 they're not, because the generation now is so 00:30:53.670 --> 00:30:56.609 individualistic, but realizing that they're part 00:30:56.609 --> 00:31:00.670 of a world and a society and that's basically... 00:31:00.670 --> 00:31:03.069 And a bigger community. A bigger community. And 00:31:03.069 --> 00:31:07.089 I think that's the message I put out there. And 00:31:07.089 --> 00:31:09.130 then even back to the podcast, when we realized 00:31:09.130 --> 00:31:13.559 it became such a Caribbean thing. um it would 00:31:13.559 --> 00:31:15.500 be really wanted it because i was at the phase 00:31:15.500 --> 00:31:18.099 of not knowing if i wanted to stay here around 00:31:18.099 --> 00:31:21.880 when we started yeah and um jody was set on staying 00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:24.140 here but she always wanted to give back from 00:31:24.140 --> 00:31:27.859 him yeah and i think even her saying that um 00:31:27.859 --> 00:31:30.640 made me also realize that what we're doing is 00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:32.859 also giving back to the island even though we're 00:31:32.859 --> 00:31:36.289 not physically there And then we kind of just 00:31:36.289 --> 00:31:38.170 continue fostering and seeing how we could do 00:31:38.170 --> 00:31:40.849 that moving forward. Because I definitely know 00:31:40.849 --> 00:31:44.369 you guys have listeners on the island as well. 00:31:44.589 --> 00:31:47.910 Yeah. And that's also something that you would 00:31:47.910 --> 00:31:52.119 want to continue to grow and inspire. i yeah 00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:54.279 but you don't really i think i was telling you 00:31:54.279 --> 00:31:56.720 that because i went in 2023 like three times 00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:59.160 i think i went kind of all summer and christmas 00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:01.839 and then the people stopping oh that was the 00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:03.859 year that you was really homesick and ready to 00:32:03.859 --> 00:32:09.240 go three times but that's also the year because 00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:10.980 that's the thing i don't know if everybody have 00:32:10.980 --> 00:32:13.759 this but when i go back that's the moment i'm 00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:18.960 like i do want to be here and then um yeah because 00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:21.930 i was there so much but also but I saw a lot 00:32:21.930 --> 00:32:25.569 of my friends go back and seeing them succeed 00:32:25.569 --> 00:32:28.430 at going back. Because I think sometimes we have 00:32:28.430 --> 00:32:31.309 this idea that going back would be setting ourselves 00:32:31.309 --> 00:32:36.230 back. And I saw them actually drive in, even 00:32:36.230 --> 00:32:39.529 to this day. It gave me another perspective of 00:32:39.529 --> 00:32:43.049 realizing that it might not be a bad thing to 00:32:43.049 --> 00:32:45.890 go back. And I guess that's where I was in that 00:32:45.890 --> 00:32:49.339 time. yeah mentally but um back to the question 00:32:49.339 --> 00:32:54.559 of how my caribbean uh was um helped shaped who 00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:57.000 i am today i think that's just who i am i can't 00:32:57.000 --> 00:32:59.559 hide my accent even within the classroom too 00:32:59.559 --> 00:33:03.380 like I don't speak like this, but they hear it. 00:33:03.460 --> 00:33:05.500 And I'm trying to also... So how do you speak 00:33:05.500 --> 00:33:08.599 in the classroom? I have my American accent that 00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:13.500 I speak. Give us a little preview. But you're 00:33:13.500 --> 00:33:16.000 hearing the accent still? No, I basically speak 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:18.220 like... I don't like to call it proper, but I 00:33:18.220 --> 00:33:21.059 basically speak more clear. Yeah, you articulate 00:33:21.059 --> 00:33:23.640 more. I articulate more and I use my... It's 00:33:23.640 --> 00:33:25.680 happened to the American side of me and I speak 00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:30.339 like this. Oh, nice. Yeah, but yeah. Highlighted. 00:33:30.410 --> 00:33:32.690 that the Caribbean is part of English culture 00:33:32.690 --> 00:33:37.410 and language and um yeah moving forward though 00:33:37.410 --> 00:33:39.970 I do kind of in my personal life I know I am 00:33:39.970 --> 00:33:43.130 a creative so I really want to like tap into 00:33:43.130 --> 00:33:47.539 um I think I have so much ideas in my head of 00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:50.460 like just helping creating a network of Caribbean 00:33:50.460 --> 00:33:54.940 businesses. So we call kind of tribe. So that's 00:33:54.940 --> 00:33:57.660 always in my mind is and now that we have the 00:33:57.660 --> 00:33:59.759 studio, a big thing is that we also want to kind 00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:04.220 of look into like helping with advertising. So, 00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:07.440 yeah, but I would definitely always want to. 00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:10.679 That's where I am mentally start with like the 00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:14.199 people around us and our community. Yeah, and 00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:19.300 kind of put us on the map. So if we tap back 00:34:19.300 --> 00:34:23.760 again into, let's say, growing up, going through 00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:28.760 your teens, going through your early 20s, where 00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:32.300 you're at right now in the current stage, are 00:34:32.300 --> 00:34:37.079 there any significant mentors that you had that... 00:34:38.139 --> 00:34:41.139 whether they were in your life directly or even 00:34:41.139 --> 00:34:43.840 persons that you started to follow online because 00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:46.800 you needed answers and they their content was 00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:48.920 sort of providing those answers could you tap 00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:51.179 into some of those mentors yeah i think when 00:34:51.179 --> 00:34:53.139 people hear the word mentor you think that's 00:34:53.139 --> 00:34:56.039 there's actively actively someone you go to for 00:34:56.039 --> 00:34:59.400 advice all the time and there was that so back 00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:02.139 to my mother and my brother or i think a big 00:35:02.139 --> 00:35:07.000 thing is like my friends even though um Some 00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:08.619 people might think that you wouldn't go to advice 00:35:08.619 --> 00:35:11.519 for your friends. But I had a lot of friends 00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:14.440 that they're in different fields, whether that's 00:35:14.440 --> 00:35:19.860 like cancer research or administration or accounting, 00:35:20.099 --> 00:35:23.739 having friends that helped me navigate life. 00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:28.800 But I have a lot of online people I went to. 00:35:29.079 --> 00:35:33.260 And that was the YouTube world, though, because 00:35:33.260 --> 00:35:35.960 I'm very much into looking up. For me, it was 00:35:35.960 --> 00:35:41.920 about representation. I'll help you with the 00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:44.900 tongue twister. Representation. So back then 00:35:44.900 --> 00:35:47.340 you had people like Jackie Aina, but I was more 00:35:47.340 --> 00:35:50.679 the makeup world. I think if I have to be honest, 00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:54.440 I think I struggled a lot with seeing my value 00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:59.280 as a person. So in that stage of my life, when 00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:01.760 I just came up here, it was more so trying to 00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:05.610 find my worth and looking for... I guess looking 00:36:05.610 --> 00:36:08.909 at people that was doing it. So that I also felt 00:36:08.909 --> 00:36:11.289 like I could do it. And that was more sort of 00:36:11.289 --> 00:36:12.829 mentorship to me. Because I didn't have actual 00:36:12.829 --> 00:36:16.289 conversations with them. But seeing them achieve 00:36:16.289 --> 00:36:18.010 certain things. But why you think that was? That 00:36:18.010 --> 00:36:20.869 was because you were in Groningen. That was pretty 00:36:20.869 --> 00:36:24.630 far away from everyone. So the physical interactions 00:36:24.630 --> 00:36:27.590 was a lot less. For sure. And I think I didn't 00:36:27.590 --> 00:36:29.590 realize. Like on the island you experienced it 00:36:29.590 --> 00:36:32.369 too. Because I said I danced. We didn't get into 00:36:32.369 --> 00:36:35.829 that later. We can get into it now. Yeah, I dance. 00:36:35.869 --> 00:36:37.989 I'm going to be very honest. I dance at motions 00:36:37.989 --> 00:36:40.590 dance. And I was having conversations with a 00:36:40.590 --> 00:36:44.110 couple women now that also danced with me back 00:36:44.110 --> 00:36:45.909 then. And we talked about how that was such a 00:36:45.909 --> 00:36:50.030 toxic environment. In the sense of like, whether 00:36:50.030 --> 00:36:53.789 it was just blatant racism or colorism or just 00:36:53.789 --> 00:36:57.929 also the dance culture itself. of like having 00:36:57.929 --> 00:37:00.849 to present yourself in a certain way or have 00:37:00.849 --> 00:37:03.969 a certain type of body and like always constantly 00:37:03.969 --> 00:37:07.989 like questioning if you like even simple things 00:37:07.989 --> 00:37:10.309 of okay maybe today i dance well enough to be 00:37:10.309 --> 00:37:14.210 in front and always trying to i guess you never 00:37:14.210 --> 00:37:17.530 feel like you're great or good enough and then 00:37:17.530 --> 00:37:20.750 how long did you dance 11 years wow i think i 00:37:20.750 --> 00:37:24.769 started at three and then i stopped at 14. so 00:37:24.769 --> 00:37:30.900 then so then uh Okay, so that really got embedded 00:37:30.900 --> 00:37:33.179 in you. That was embedded in me. And I think 00:37:33.179 --> 00:37:36.219 that manifested in a lot of my life of constantly 00:37:36.219 --> 00:37:40.820 worrying or wondering if I was good enough. Because 00:37:40.820 --> 00:37:44.239 that was a big part of my life. So I think once 00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:49.440 I realized that I wasn't... seeing the value 00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:51.460 in myself i guess a lot of the things i was choosing 00:37:51.460 --> 00:37:54.659 to watch subconsciously was what was helping 00:37:54.659 --> 00:37:57.619 me find out and that was the biggest mentorship 00:37:57.619 --> 00:38:00.500 to me and um so it was it was sort of like a 00:38:00.500 --> 00:38:03.860 re -education yeah because they educated that 00:38:03.860 --> 00:38:09.280 young kid up until what you said 14 yeah um some 00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:12.980 very horrible education i mean i love dancing 00:38:12.980 --> 00:38:16.590 you know the part that i love Because I love 00:38:16.590 --> 00:38:19.090 being in a space where you have each other and 00:38:19.090 --> 00:38:21.590 stuff like that. But there was a side to it that 00:38:21.590 --> 00:38:25.550 was also, I would say, as for such a young, for 00:38:25.550 --> 00:38:28.190 a lot of young women that are young teenagers, 00:38:28.230 --> 00:38:30.889 that's a time in your life where you want to 00:38:30.889 --> 00:38:34.789 fit in. You're struggling with puberty. So that 00:38:34.789 --> 00:38:39.230 shaped who I was definitely at that time. And 00:38:39.230 --> 00:38:42.809 I could imagine for a lot of other people. But 00:38:42.809 --> 00:38:45.369 as for actual also people I would go to advice, 00:38:45.650 --> 00:38:50.210 like my mother. Yeah. She's, I've been saying 00:38:50.210 --> 00:38:53.150 it over and over again, but like, I know I realize 00:38:53.150 --> 00:38:55.150 it's also a privilege. Mom, you did a good job. 00:38:55.150 --> 00:38:57.110 She did a good job, but I realize it's also a 00:38:57.110 --> 00:38:59.230 privilege. It's also a privilege because not 00:38:59.230 --> 00:39:01.869 everyone has those type of relationships with 00:39:01.869 --> 00:39:04.429 their mom. No, that you could go to for anything. 00:39:04.489 --> 00:39:08.219 Yeah. And give solid advice that wants the best 00:39:08.219 --> 00:39:12.239 for you. But also just show up and actually give 00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:14.280 the help sometimes when you need it. And that's 00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:20.260 also in itself a privilege. And how was the advice, 00:39:20.360 --> 00:39:24.059 the mentorship, let's say in the early days of 00:39:24.059 --> 00:39:29.579 starting the podcast journey? Because this is 00:39:29.579 --> 00:39:32.440 technically the third podcast for you then. This 00:39:32.440 --> 00:39:35.940 is the second. The second. Yeah. So Say Less 00:39:35.940 --> 00:39:37.460 Sis wasn't really a podcast. It started as a 00:39:37.460 --> 00:39:39.519 podcast, but when I joined on, it became more 00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:42.480 of like an online thing for the community. Okay. 00:39:42.619 --> 00:39:47.699 And just us creating content. My mother was, 00:39:47.719 --> 00:39:50.639 she's, I guess going back to the thing, because 00:39:50.639 --> 00:39:52.260 she's always, I don't want to say realistic, 00:39:52.659 --> 00:39:56.139 because she would always be like, okay, she always 00:39:56.139 --> 00:39:59.719 wants me to go for what I want to do. And she 00:39:59.719 --> 00:40:02.300 saw, funny enough, she saw the value in us, what 00:40:02.300 --> 00:40:05.480 we was doing. From early? From early on. So, 00:40:05.579 --> 00:40:09.320 like, even when we went in summer 2023, she helped 00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:11.400 me get in contact with a lot of radio stations 00:40:11.400 --> 00:40:14.280 to make sure we could have promote the podcast. 00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:17.980 And she's always been that type of mother to, 00:40:18.019 --> 00:40:22.039 like, it comes across as, like. we call that 00:40:22.039 --> 00:40:24.340 micromanaging. I can do this, I can do this, 00:40:24.360 --> 00:40:26.539 I can do this, I can do this. But then it helps 00:40:26.539 --> 00:40:28.199 you because it's like, you know, you have somebody 00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:33.079 that actually helps or sees the vision that believes 00:40:33.079 --> 00:40:36.380 in you, basically. um but also being realistic 00:40:36.380 --> 00:40:39.380 of like okay but financially is this a good decision 00:40:39.380 --> 00:40:42.739 right now in your life and um always asking the 00:40:42.739 --> 00:40:45.380 questions that i ask myself like okay like but 00:40:45.380 --> 00:40:47.559 if you stay in holland like how long do you think 00:40:47.559 --> 00:40:49.380 like just how asking the questions i really had 00:40:49.380 --> 00:40:51.460 to ask myself of like okay if i'm struggling 00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:54.239 with not knowing if i want to be here realistically 00:40:54.239 --> 00:40:57.000 for real like is this what i want to be doing 00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:00.639 and um Because I had the situation where the 00:41:00.639 --> 00:41:02.920 other podcast didn't work. And at the time, Jodi 00:41:02.920 --> 00:41:04.780 was a new friend. She was like, okay, do you 00:41:04.780 --> 00:41:07.059 see this being a dynamic right now? Oh, because 00:41:07.059 --> 00:41:10.619 you guys only in recent years linked up. Yeah, 00:41:10.639 --> 00:41:12.920 I knew her, but I was mostly friends with her 00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:16.760 older sister. Her sister is around my age. And 00:41:16.760 --> 00:41:19.099 so she was around as like the little sister. 00:41:20.659 --> 00:41:23.670 But then I also just noticed like how... much 00:41:23.670 --> 00:41:26.469 she was also inspiration to me and as now like 00:41:26.469 --> 00:41:29.210 she's also a mentor in a way of like i love how 00:41:29.210 --> 00:41:33.349 her mind works um so at the time when we started 00:41:33.349 --> 00:41:36.409 having more conversations too i was like no mommy 00:41:36.409 --> 00:41:38.469 like this is somebody like i actually like i 00:41:38.469 --> 00:41:40.809 can tell because once with me like my intuition 00:41:40.809 --> 00:41:47.469 is like is is there and i can really tell i told 00:41:47.469 --> 00:41:49.449 like i i just noticed like that was somebody 00:41:49.449 --> 00:41:51.889 who was serious about what you were doing in 00:41:51.889 --> 00:41:53.989 life back to the question of my mother being 00:41:53.989 --> 00:41:56.909 my mentor she was just asking me questions that 00:41:56.909 --> 00:42:01.909 always kept me like um i guess down to earth 00:42:01.909 --> 00:42:06.230 and realistic but funny enough also my brother 00:42:06.230 --> 00:42:09.690 um but my brother is a mentor in a sense of like 00:42:10.670 --> 00:42:12.869 he hates when i say this but to me he's just 00:42:12.869 --> 00:42:16.989 like such an amazing human being and how he like 00:42:16.989 --> 00:42:19.409 shows up in the world like he's how much older 00:42:19.409 --> 00:42:21.530 is he he's three years older okay but we like 00:42:21.530 --> 00:42:23.550 to stay like we're three years apart as twins 00:42:23.550 --> 00:42:27.469 yeah like we connected in that way um so he helped 00:42:27.469 --> 00:42:30.989 me navigate life itself i think from a creative 00:42:30.989 --> 00:42:34.550 standpoint or like a what i was doing financially 00:42:34.550 --> 00:42:37.030 or whatever that would be my mother but as of 00:42:37.030 --> 00:42:39.380 like The choices I was making within my life, 00:42:39.460 --> 00:42:41.840 that was always my brother. Yeah, so he really 00:42:41.840 --> 00:42:45.539 was big bro. Yeah, he is really to this day. 00:42:45.800 --> 00:42:49.340 He's also like one of my biggest podcast fans 00:42:49.340 --> 00:42:52.199 too. So he watches everything and we like talk 00:42:52.199 --> 00:42:55.179 about it. But even back to like our upbringing 00:42:55.179 --> 00:42:58.320 and certain things that we dealt growing up, 00:42:58.400 --> 00:43:00.800 we could stay speaking on the phone for like 00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:04.460 hours. And just I think having those conversations 00:43:04.460 --> 00:43:06.820 was kind of like therapy for each other. Yeah. 00:43:08.220 --> 00:43:11.820 and making me realize certain habits I had without 00:43:11.820 --> 00:43:16.500 them from. And also him being realistic with 00:43:16.500 --> 00:43:19.659 me as to like getting out of those situations 00:43:19.659 --> 00:43:23.119 I was speaking about. So I would say those are 00:43:23.119 --> 00:43:27.320 my two active biggest mentors. That's beautiful. 00:43:27.719 --> 00:43:30.340 Yeah. Having your mom and your brother. My brother, 00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:33.619 yeah. And I would say right now, like in the 00:43:33.619 --> 00:43:37.239 podcast world, like I have... Mentors in a sense 00:43:37.239 --> 00:43:40.880 of like, they're like who I aspire to be. It's 00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:44.199 like these two young women from London, they 00:43:44.199 --> 00:43:47.599 received podcasts. I think the past five, six 00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:49.780 years, I've started watching their podcast, just 00:43:49.780 --> 00:43:52.340 everything they've been doing. Yeah. Rather than, 00:43:52.460 --> 00:43:55.940 specifically for Black British culture, I watch 00:43:55.940 --> 00:43:59.889 what they do. And that kind of... actually i 00:43:59.889 --> 00:44:01.989 think watching that podcast is what really inspired 00:44:01.989 --> 00:44:04.650 me to want to tap into podcasting yeah because 00:44:04.650 --> 00:44:07.949 i saw so much of like how necessary it was for 00:44:07.949 --> 00:44:10.489 their space and that's kind of what i had that 00:44:10.489 --> 00:44:14.309 i do that was the seed for the plant of like 00:44:14.309 --> 00:44:17.449 we need that for our space yeah yeah and so moving 00:44:17.449 --> 00:44:19.309 forward i realize a lot of the things that they 00:44:19.309 --> 00:44:22.980 do or we do sometimes is like so aligned And 00:44:22.980 --> 00:44:26.400 I've gotten to meet one of them. And so having 00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:28.739 the conversation with her, we were having the 00:44:28.739 --> 00:44:32.039 conversation of like, sometimes when you come 00:44:32.039 --> 00:44:35.099 from the diaspora, because she's Nigerian, and 00:44:35.099 --> 00:44:37.579 you don't feel like there's a place in the world 00:44:37.579 --> 00:44:39.880 that feels like home necessarily. It's like home 00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:42.679 is wherever you are. That was most of what the 00:44:42.679 --> 00:44:44.980 conversation was, but also just about like... 00:44:45.539 --> 00:44:47.340 feeling back to the conversation i feel like 00:44:47.340 --> 00:44:49.360 you're worth doing whatever you want to do though 00:44:49.360 --> 00:44:52.599 whatever that is i would say those two women 00:44:52.599 --> 00:44:56.599 are also big mentors for me right now okay yeah 00:44:56.599 --> 00:45:00.139 yeah i was interested when i saw the question 00:45:00.139 --> 00:45:01.760 and i was like what would you do but i don't 00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:04.079 know if i'd like to ask you that what like a 00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:10.340 mentor for you or a mentor for me Wow. But you 00:45:10.340 --> 00:45:12.900 never get asked the question? Well, no, no one 00:45:12.900 --> 00:45:15.780 ever asked me the question because I'm hosting. 00:45:16.139 --> 00:45:19.340 Yeah, but still, because when we saw, when you 00:45:19.340 --> 00:45:21.559 gave the presentation by the St. Martins, the 00:45:21.559 --> 00:45:25.679 event, it was November 30th. And you went through 00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:27.719 the slides of everything that you were doing. 00:45:27.739 --> 00:45:31.119 I was just wondering if like, especially my generation 00:45:31.119 --> 00:45:35.400 or the younger generation, I know. The OGs. I 00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:38.039 know they know of you, but then to see all that 00:45:38.039 --> 00:45:40.480 you have done and accomplished, I also find that 00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:43.639 in itself, like, inspirational to see that someone 00:45:43.639 --> 00:45:47.539 from the island is doing it on this level. So 00:45:47.539 --> 00:45:50.340 then I wonder, like, who inspired you? Who inspired 00:45:50.340 --> 00:45:57.500 me? For me, I feel that's a very loaded question. 00:45:57.679 --> 00:46:04.170 But let me try and go through some of it. In 00:46:04.170 --> 00:46:07.289 the very early days, actually recently I had 00:46:07.289 --> 00:46:12.829 this conversation. So I grew up born on St. Martin. 00:46:12.909 --> 00:46:14.869 I just keep repeating this because I need to 00:46:14.869 --> 00:46:17.369 give it that context. Born on St. Martin, we 00:46:17.369 --> 00:46:20.090 left and we moved here to the Netherlands. And 00:46:20.090 --> 00:46:22.150 at the time when we moved to the Netherlands, 00:46:22.190 --> 00:46:28.380 it was my mom, me, and my six sisters. And actually, 00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:31.199 I think, yeah, shortly after one of my nieces 00:46:31.199 --> 00:46:35.239 as well. So my eldest niece was born. And at 00:46:35.239 --> 00:46:41.199 that time, things weren't too stable in the family 00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:46.900 situation because the parents got divorced. And 00:46:46.900 --> 00:46:52.650 that in itself. had certain dynamics and certain 00:46:52.650 --> 00:46:56.730 struggles up up up until a particular age then 00:46:56.730 --> 00:47:01.570 we move back and every so i'm i'm number six 00:47:01.570 --> 00:47:04.469 in the line of seven okay So there were others 00:47:04.469 --> 00:47:07.510 that were then way older and started their careers. 00:47:07.650 --> 00:47:10.269 And I'm still in school and everyone is sort 00:47:10.269 --> 00:47:13.349 of going through the motions. So maybe by the 00:47:13.349 --> 00:47:15.530 time I'm a teenager, then I have an older sister 00:47:15.530 --> 00:47:18.550 that's around your age now. So she's going through 00:47:18.550 --> 00:47:20.469 a different dynamic. And then every now and then 00:47:20.469 --> 00:47:22.110 you have some of those sibling conversations. 00:47:22.829 --> 00:47:27.230 So each one of them might have played a particular 00:47:27.230 --> 00:47:32.900 role at a different moment in time. Also, my 00:47:32.900 --> 00:47:36.400 mom has always been pretty much an inspiration 00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:41.800 for her kind heart. Like she's one of the kindest 00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:44.500 people I know, even though her mouth could be 00:47:44.500 --> 00:47:46.539 fire when she's ready. When you need that, yeah. 00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:51.639 But she's a very loving and caring person. She's 00:47:51.639 --> 00:47:54.500 always been the type of mom that's the mom for 00:47:54.500 --> 00:47:58.840 the neighborhood. So multiple people would claim 00:47:58.840 --> 00:48:05.079 her as mom as well. And then when I went through 00:48:05.079 --> 00:48:10.199 the whole music era, I started to look externally 00:48:10.199 --> 00:48:14.619 for the persons I look up to. And so then I started 00:48:14.619 --> 00:48:17.280 to look at all of the biggest names in the game. 00:48:17.699 --> 00:48:22.219 At some point, I was very much into Nas. So also 00:48:22.219 --> 00:48:26.000 with the Nas and Jay -Z beef, I was like F -Jay 00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:30.800 -Z too. You pick a side. I picked a side hard 00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:33.900 because I was Nas. I was Mobb Deep. I was basically 00:48:33.900 --> 00:48:38.760 Queens. Okay. But then years later, when sort 00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:41.440 of the businessman in me started to emerge more, 00:48:41.619 --> 00:48:45.260 I started to respect. Jay -Z's movements and 00:48:45.260 --> 00:48:49.099 stuff and started to get a bigger love for Jay 00:48:49.099 --> 00:48:53.840 -Z, right? I mean, today with all the stuff that's 00:48:53.840 --> 00:48:56.139 going on, I'm not really sure. I'm not really 00:48:56.139 --> 00:49:01.380 trying to decipher what they did or how they 00:49:01.380 --> 00:49:04.159 did it or whatever. I'm just going back to the 00:49:04.159 --> 00:49:08.380 time, like, you know, early 2000s, late 90s and 00:49:08.380 --> 00:49:15.320 what that time was like. So looking to the biggest 00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:19.260 ones in the game was inspiration in the sense 00:49:19.260 --> 00:49:23.179 that, okay, they did it in their context where 00:49:23.179 --> 00:49:27.300 they're from. And whatever I'm going to do, I 00:49:27.300 --> 00:49:31.360 have to do it in my way, in my context where 00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:35.599 I'm from. And Eminem was also one of the people 00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:37.579 that I listened to very, very much. So I grew 00:49:37.579 --> 00:49:40.469 up in that era of hip hop where... if what you 00:49:40.469 --> 00:49:43.210 were saying on the mic was not real and representing 00:49:43.210 --> 00:49:47.210 who you are and your truth, don't come around 00:49:47.210 --> 00:49:51.750 here. So like everything in me was based on writing 00:49:51.750 --> 00:49:54.650 the truth. Even some of the songs that I would 00:49:54.650 --> 00:49:56.630 look back now and be like, maybe I shouldn't 00:49:56.630 --> 00:50:00.610 have. Write that. Well, writing it is okay, but 00:50:00.610 --> 00:50:02.750 maybe recording it and putting it out is a different 00:50:02.750 --> 00:50:10.590 story. But that was my truth at the time. So 00:50:10.590 --> 00:50:13.889 that actually translated in my whole business 00:50:13.889 --> 00:50:17.690 trajectory as well, that everything I do had 00:50:17.690 --> 00:50:24.539 to be based in solid truth. And if... if you 00:50:24.539 --> 00:50:27.420 have to sort of lie cheat and deceive to make 00:50:27.420 --> 00:50:30.639 whatever moves then it's not worth it because 00:50:30.639 --> 00:50:33.199 that means that also a part of you is going to 00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:36.699 be dying with each one of those yeah but it's 00:50:36.699 --> 00:50:40.119 also inauthentic to who you are exactly exactly 00:50:40.119 --> 00:50:46.639 and that was also part it played a role in me 00:50:47.820 --> 00:50:50.579 putting music on pause, which eventually turned 00:50:50.579 --> 00:50:55.340 to music being stopped in my life. Because some 00:50:55.340 --> 00:50:57.739 of the experiences that I had being in New York, 00:50:58.300 --> 00:51:02.739 at some point I was in Virgin Records office 00:51:02.739 --> 00:51:06.219 talking to an A &R that was involved in signing 00:51:06.219 --> 00:51:11.340 Rihanna. So there were definitely some interesting 00:51:11.340 --> 00:51:16.079 moments. And in those moments you choose whether 00:51:16.079 --> 00:51:19.760 or not signing the piece of paper makes the most 00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:22.199 sense. I didn't get the record deal handed to 00:51:22.199 --> 00:51:25.280 me, but some other stuff. But in the paperwork, 00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:29.539 there was also a lot of things that might be 00:51:29.539 --> 00:51:31.599 affecting me up till today. Today, if you had 00:51:31.599 --> 00:51:34.239 signed. That would probably be taking money out 00:51:34.239 --> 00:51:38.880 of my pocket till today. And if we zoom out and 00:51:38.880 --> 00:51:41.159 we look now at all the stories that come out, 00:51:41.199 --> 00:51:44.420 you see that there's a lot and plenty of artists 00:51:44.420 --> 00:51:47.320 that basically said that they got completely 00:51:47.320 --> 00:51:50.059 screwed with those first things that they signed. 00:51:50.260 --> 00:51:52.860 So how were you aware at the time to not, like, 00:51:52.900 --> 00:51:58.039 what made you not? Well, one of the key things 00:51:58.039 --> 00:52:01.929 was... I was always taught you don't sign something 00:52:01.929 --> 00:52:04.690 you don't understand. Okay, yeah. So no matter 00:52:04.690 --> 00:52:09.070 if they show you golden towers and they say sign 00:52:09.070 --> 00:52:12.949 right here, it's yours. I'm like, no. I need 00:52:12.949 --> 00:52:16.110 to first understand what's in here. And everything 00:52:16.110 --> 00:52:18.269 was happening so fast at the moment. So I said, 00:52:18.329 --> 00:52:21.550 well, I need this digitally before I can sign. 00:52:21.889 --> 00:52:24.250 And they were kind of hesitant. Eventually, I 00:52:24.250 --> 00:52:27.489 got it. I sent it back home. So two of my sisters. 00:52:28.590 --> 00:52:32.150 I contacted a lawyer and had them go through 00:52:32.150 --> 00:52:36.230 it. And then within a couple hours or a day later 00:52:36.230 --> 00:52:38.710 or something, I got the phone call. Well, in 00:52:38.710 --> 00:52:40.989 my family, they call me Junior. Junior, do not 00:52:40.989 --> 00:52:46.050 sign. Don't even say why, just go. Because I 00:52:46.050 --> 00:52:47.789 think at the time when they called me, I was 00:52:47.789 --> 00:52:52.719 in a studio where actually... uh cassidy was 00:52:52.719 --> 00:52:55.440 recording his album my drink and my two -step 00:52:55.440 --> 00:52:58.380 yeah that album that was being recorded in that 00:52:58.380 --> 00:53:01.719 studio at that time because as i was coming out 00:53:01.719 --> 00:53:05.179 of my session he was going in to his and and 00:53:05.179 --> 00:53:06.960 a lot of people might think like but you crazy 00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:10.099 like you was you was right there and and you 00:53:10.099 --> 00:53:12.800 and you didn't but there were different things 00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:15.559 in me that kind of felt throughout the process 00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:17.739 because my intuition is also very strong yeah 00:53:17.739 --> 00:53:20.550 throughout the process i was like This doesn't 00:53:20.550 --> 00:53:24.250 feel right. But at the same time, I'm here. And 00:53:24.250 --> 00:53:27.230 then when I got that phone call and telling me 00:53:27.230 --> 00:53:31.429 don't, I was like, okay, let me see how I can 00:53:31.429 --> 00:53:34.769 not sign and then still make certain steps here. 00:53:34.869 --> 00:53:38.949 And it just kind of life happened. And yeah. 00:53:40.670 --> 00:53:42.969 Yeah, it's funny because you're speaking on a 00:53:42.969 --> 00:53:45.289 lot of people from the music industry that kind 00:53:45.289 --> 00:53:48.909 of you saw as a mentor. And like one of my favorite 00:53:48.909 --> 00:53:53.309 artists is J. Cole. And people asked me recently, 00:53:53.389 --> 00:53:56.510 I think within the past year as to why. And I 00:53:56.510 --> 00:53:59.369 never really sat down to think about the why. 00:53:59.650 --> 00:54:02.150 But he recently released like a 10 part podcast 00:54:02.150 --> 00:54:06.190 series where he like dive into like. him as a 00:54:06.190 --> 00:54:10.349 young adult going into New York and that whole 00:54:10.349 --> 00:54:14.710 space between figuring out he was an artist and 00:54:14.710 --> 00:54:17.769 a rapper and getting the deal with Jay -Z and 00:54:17.769 --> 00:54:21.750 all he did. And I realized a lot of what you're 00:54:21.750 --> 00:54:25.030 saying now is also why I resonated with him because 00:54:25.030 --> 00:54:27.070 he was always, if you listen to his music, it 00:54:27.070 --> 00:54:29.739 was always about like... who am i and what do 00:54:29.739 --> 00:54:33.559 i want yeah and not selling your soul because 00:54:33.559 --> 00:54:37.000 he really dived into a lot of things he saw at 00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:39.900 the time and he was just like no but i wasn't 00:54:39.900 --> 00:54:42.320 going to be me yeah and i i don't know i guess 00:54:42.320 --> 00:54:46.019 it just resonated with me as a young adult i 00:54:46.019 --> 00:54:49.039 guess as to just being him authentically himself 00:54:49.039 --> 00:54:53.380 and him telling it in a story form in with music 00:54:53.380 --> 00:54:56.420 yeah i think that's always what stood out to 00:54:56.420 --> 00:55:00.139 me I guess. But then I hear these stories and 00:55:00.139 --> 00:55:02.239 then you actually got to see that it was actually 00:55:02.239 --> 00:55:05.119 being presented to you. And it makes me think 00:55:05.119 --> 00:55:07.280 like, yeah, that's why. So it's very important 00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:10.420 to know who you are. Who you are. Yeah. At that 00:55:10.420 --> 00:55:13.780 early in life. Yeah. So that's why it's also 00:55:13.780 --> 00:55:16.760 so key to have the right amount of nurturing 00:55:16.760 --> 00:55:23.800 around you with the right messaging to. And also 00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:27.059 to give you enough space and room for you to 00:55:27.059 --> 00:55:31.539 discover. Yeah. Because you could also have people 00:55:31.539 --> 00:55:33.400 around you that are giving you the messaging 00:55:33.400 --> 00:55:35.519 and they want you to follow the messaging exactly 00:55:35.519 --> 00:55:38.300 in the way that they instructed you to follow 00:55:38.300 --> 00:55:41.360 the messaging. And that's not right. You should 00:55:41.360 --> 00:55:45.860 give that in. It's more like, I can't remember 00:55:45.860 --> 00:55:49.780 where I saw this, but. Now that I have kids and 00:55:49.780 --> 00:55:52.619 also seen many kids sort of got raised over my 00:55:52.619 --> 00:55:57.179 lifespan, it's definitely true that in the early 00:55:57.179 --> 00:56:00.679 stage, they're completely fragile and they need 00:56:00.679 --> 00:56:03.659 to be very well taken care of, right? They need 00:56:03.659 --> 00:56:07.360 to be protected. So I think that's like ages 00:56:07.360 --> 00:56:13.960 zero to about four or five. Then from like four 00:56:13.960 --> 00:56:19.199 to about, what is it, 10, 11? they say you need 00:56:19.199 --> 00:56:23.940 to instill structure and discipline and order 00:56:23.940 --> 00:56:27.900 and the core values, right? That's really instilled 00:56:27.900 --> 00:56:33.460 in those ages. And then from like 11 onwards 00:56:33.460 --> 00:56:36.280 to about 18, 19, that's when they're transitioning 00:56:36.280 --> 00:56:40.400 into teenagers. And the teenager doesn't need 00:56:40.400 --> 00:56:43.260 you to give them instructions, but they need 00:56:43.260 --> 00:56:47.449 coaching. right so they're out there playing 00:56:47.449 --> 00:56:50.150 the game you can't play the game for them yeah 00:56:50.150 --> 00:56:53.150 because when when they're out there with the 00:56:53.150 --> 00:56:55.789 other 15 16 year old that's telling them hey 00:56:55.789 --> 00:57:00.429 pop this pill you're gonna feel good they needed 00:57:00.429 --> 00:57:02.730 to have the coaching from before to tell them 00:57:02.730 --> 00:57:07.010 hey leave that alone yeah you're right yeah um 00:57:07.010 --> 00:57:09.590 and then they need to make the decisions in the 00:57:09.590 --> 00:57:12.469 game yeah i guess it goes back to the scene of 00:57:12.469 --> 00:57:14.699 like you could It's better to teach a man how 00:57:14.699 --> 00:57:18.280 to fish than to give him the actual fish. Exactly. 00:57:18.920 --> 00:57:22.039 Yeah. And then there was this other saying where 00:57:22.039 --> 00:57:30.039 it's basically designed in our DNA that we, as 00:57:30.039 --> 00:57:32.820 teenagers, break away from the family structure. 00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:37.239 And that was if we go back, because we live in 00:57:37.239 --> 00:57:41.260 this type of way in society for just 100, 200 00:57:41.260 --> 00:57:45.099 years. And if we're going back centuries, then 00:57:45.099 --> 00:57:48.159 in many different parts of the world, it would 00:57:48.159 --> 00:57:50.659 be like these little smaller tribes, smaller 00:57:50.659 --> 00:57:55.199 communities. And in order for... The community 00:57:55.199 --> 00:57:58.519 is not to continue to mix or blend or incest 00:57:58.519 --> 00:58:01.119 within the community. It's designed in the DNA 00:58:01.119 --> 00:58:03.480 that you want to break away from your parents 00:58:03.480 --> 00:58:07.139 and go out into the world. So now the man would 00:58:07.139 --> 00:58:11.179 go out and have to venture out into some other 00:58:11.179 --> 00:58:15.579 tribe to find his wife and then return after 00:58:15.579 --> 00:58:18.900 a certain amount of years. So even like as teenagers, 00:58:19.079 --> 00:58:21.300 you go through that moment where you don't want 00:58:21.300 --> 00:58:24.539 to listen to what your parents have to say. but 00:58:24.539 --> 00:58:29.599 maybe a trusted family member or friend of the 00:58:29.599 --> 00:58:32.019 family could say the exact same thing your parents 00:58:32.019 --> 00:58:36.039 are saying and you listen to it, right? So that's 00:58:36.039 --> 00:58:37.980 why they say it takes a village, it takes a community. 00:58:40.519 --> 00:58:43.059 I even forgot what the original question was 00:58:43.059 --> 00:58:45.019 that we got on this topic. You've been having 00:58:45.019 --> 00:58:49.710 a mentor, basically. nobody here but then there's 00:58:49.710 --> 00:58:52.829 not about you but then i think about like you 00:58:52.829 --> 00:58:56.590 know having to raise kids in like the difference 00:58:56.590 --> 00:58:59.309 between the caribbean and like europe because 00:58:59.309 --> 00:59:02.150 i know like a couple of parents i speak to whether 00:59:02.150 --> 00:59:06.190 that's my friends or my age mates um who feel 00:59:06.190 --> 00:59:08.070 like the difference in raising their kids up 00:59:08.070 --> 00:59:09.989 here is not that they didn't feel like they don't 00:59:09.989 --> 00:59:11.690 feel like they have a community but they feel 00:59:11.690 --> 00:59:13.590 they have more of a community in the caribbean 00:59:13.590 --> 00:59:15.929 yeah It's like even one of my colleagues moved 00:59:15.929 --> 00:59:19.269 back to Curacao because of that. And then I, 00:59:19.429 --> 00:59:23.070 yeah, it's one of my, not worries, but it's one 00:59:23.070 --> 00:59:25.610 of those things I wonder how different would 00:59:25.610 --> 00:59:28.829 life be if I were to start a family here. But 00:59:28.829 --> 00:59:31.289 you're also a father here. So I don't know how 00:59:31.289 --> 00:59:35.690 that is for you. So I have an interesting perspective 00:59:35.690 --> 00:59:41.590 because as a kid, I had both experiences. Yeah, 00:59:41.590 --> 00:59:48.219 true. As a kid, I had certain struggles with 00:59:48.219 --> 00:59:53.800 having both experiences. But as an adult, I look 00:59:53.800 --> 00:59:59.639 back and think, wow, that was an immense amount 00:59:59.639 --> 01:00:02.960 of life lessons compacted into those early years. 01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:07.360 Because I always felt like a more grown... adult 01:00:07.360 --> 01:00:11.260 even at 18 like at least the type of conversations 01:00:11.260 --> 01:00:15.039 i would have the type of insights i i at 18 i 01:00:15.039 --> 01:00:17.480 sometimes had deep conversations with 35 year 01:00:17.480 --> 01:00:21.599 olds uh and and and they'd be like how the hell 01:00:21.599 --> 01:00:24.500 is he 18 but that's because all of the life experience 01:00:24.500 --> 01:00:27.579 that was compacted into those early years and 01:00:27.579 --> 01:00:29.420 at the end of the day everything is a choice 01:00:29.420 --> 01:00:33.050 like you there's a certain amount of community 01:00:33.050 --> 01:00:36.389 that you can build here as well. But it's not 01:00:36.389 --> 01:00:38.150 going to be the same as back home. Back home, 01:00:38.150 --> 01:00:40.269 it'll probably be a lot more family involved 01:00:40.269 --> 01:00:44.570 in the community aspect. But here, it's the friends, 01:00:45.030 --> 01:00:48.050 the acquaintances, the chosen family. And in 01:00:48.050 --> 01:00:52.349 the chosen family dynamic, there's still a lot 01:00:52.349 --> 01:00:54.369 that you can do. Because if I look at my kids 01:00:54.369 --> 01:01:01.010 today, So when we were here between, that was 01:01:01.010 --> 01:01:05.750 age 4 to 11 for me, I never went on vacation 01:01:05.750 --> 01:01:09.610 to the islands. Only when we moved back is when 01:01:09.610 --> 01:01:13.210 I experienced the islands. My kids have been... 01:01:14.309 --> 01:01:16.989 What is it? Seven, eight times. They're seven 01:01:16.989 --> 01:01:19.969 years old. They've been seven, eight times between 01:01:19.969 --> 01:01:22.590 like my wife is from Aruba. I'm from St. Martin. 01:01:22.590 --> 01:01:25.170 So they've been to Aruba and St. Martin multiple 01:01:25.170 --> 01:01:29.070 times. They hopped over to Anguilla with what 01:01:29.070 --> 01:01:31.349 we have today with the internet, with FaceTime. 01:01:32.199 --> 01:01:36.519 They talk to my mom multiple times a week. So 01:01:36.519 --> 01:01:39.739 usually sometimes when I pick them up from school, 01:01:39.820 --> 01:01:42.659 I call her on FaceTime, hand them the phone, 01:01:42.699 --> 01:01:46.360 and they're having a whole conversation. So then 01:01:46.360 --> 01:01:49.239 the moments when she comes here, the relationship 01:01:49.239 --> 01:01:51.480 just continues. The moments when we go there, 01:01:51.659 --> 01:01:55.480 it continues. So I do feel like there are ways 01:01:55.480 --> 01:01:59.940 to have that connection, but it's just a different 01:01:59.940 --> 01:02:05.099 form. But you would need to have at least a very 01:02:05.099 --> 01:02:09.980 basic friend community around you up here to 01:02:09.980 --> 01:02:14.389 really... have a bit of that i think yeah if 01:02:14.389 --> 01:02:16.309 you don't have that it makes it hard to then 01:02:16.309 --> 01:02:19.030 consider your surroundings the actual community 01:02:19.030 --> 01:02:21.710 and i think sometimes up here depending on where 01:02:21.710 --> 01:02:25.010 you live or your situation people feel like we're 01:02:25.010 --> 01:02:29.250 all in our own little bubble in holland um whereas 01:02:29.250 --> 01:02:31.849 the bubble burst in the island because you don't 01:02:31.849 --> 01:02:33.949 have the Because I remember growing up, I would 01:02:33.949 --> 01:02:36.210 wake up and like uncles and aunts are already 01:02:36.210 --> 01:02:38.190 in the house. Yeah, yeah. Here I was like, you 01:02:38.190 --> 01:02:41.429 need to tell me when you come. Exactly. It's 01:02:41.429 --> 01:02:45.889 a different situation, I guess. Yeah. But yeah, 01:02:45.989 --> 01:02:48.130 I guess a chosen family would always be also 01:02:48.130 --> 01:02:50.130 a community. It depends how you look at it or 01:02:50.130 --> 01:02:54.150 you value as a person. But I value both. I feel 01:02:54.150 --> 01:02:57.269 like the friends I have is also a big blessing 01:02:57.269 --> 01:02:59.070 that a lot of friends I have now I know since. 01:02:59.480 --> 01:03:03.119 I was zero. Or even from high school to that 01:03:03.119 --> 01:03:05.440 point, I know they would always be my community. 01:03:06.440 --> 01:03:09.159 So I think even if I stay here at home, I'm going 01:03:09.159 --> 01:03:13.139 to have a village. It depends if they stay. That's 01:03:13.139 --> 01:03:17.340 the biggest question. So if we tap back now to 01:03:17.340 --> 01:03:19.900 the high school time, or maybe towards the end 01:03:19.900 --> 01:03:26.179 of high school, 18 -year -old Haiti. Who was 01:03:26.179 --> 01:03:30.059 she? Who was she? No. What advice would you give 01:03:30.059 --> 01:03:33.699 18 -year -old Haiti based on the Haiti of today? 01:03:34.539 --> 01:03:37.300 Back to the intuition of actually listening to 01:03:37.300 --> 01:03:40.019 it. Funny enough, we got an episode yesterday 01:03:40.019 --> 01:03:44.920 about intuition, and I don't think we teach children 01:03:44.920 --> 01:03:50.340 enough about what it is and the difference between 01:03:50.340 --> 01:03:53.710 the thoughts in your brain. versus the feeling 01:03:53.710 --> 01:03:57.789 in your gut and i'm an overthinker so i think 01:03:57.789 --> 01:04:00.510 a lot of times i felt things but because my mind 01:04:00.510 --> 01:04:03.670 was it would question a lot of things or i really 01:04:03.670 --> 01:04:06.599 sit down i'm a very I don't know if you noticed, 01:04:06.719 --> 01:04:09.079 but I think a lot. I don't know sometimes if 01:04:09.079 --> 01:04:12.960 it comes out what I'm thinking. But I observe 01:04:12.960 --> 01:04:15.840 and I think a lot and I really go through all 01:04:15.840 --> 01:04:18.800 aspects or pockets of a possible situation or 01:04:18.800 --> 01:04:21.380 question in my head to the point where then at 01:04:21.380 --> 01:04:23.659 that point, intuition ain't even part of the 01:04:23.659 --> 01:04:26.300 conversation because I just more so looking at 01:04:26.300 --> 01:04:28.940 all the different ways or possibilities of outcomes. 01:04:29.420 --> 01:04:32.820 And I think at 18, back again too, I knew I wanted 01:04:32.820 --> 01:04:35.710 to achieve and do so much things. But I think 01:04:35.710 --> 01:04:38.929 at that time I was so young, I was focused on 01:04:38.929 --> 01:04:41.889 different things that I just didn't tap into 01:04:41.889 --> 01:04:45.230 that gut feeling of knowing what I wanted to 01:04:45.230 --> 01:04:49.889 do. Yeah. Yeah. And I was very impressionable 01:04:49.889 --> 01:04:52.710 in a sense of easily influenced. I'm not going 01:04:52.710 --> 01:04:55.949 to lie. So it's back to listening to my gut. 01:04:58.279 --> 01:05:00.599 Yeah, sticking to doing what you want to do and 01:05:00.599 --> 01:05:04.360 not listening to those outside voices so much 01:05:04.360 --> 01:05:08.579 because I did that a lot at 18. But at 18, I 01:05:08.579 --> 01:05:11.199 also failed high school five. Funny enough, when 01:05:11.199 --> 01:05:14.039 I was 17, once again, I got feeling. I told my 01:05:14.039 --> 01:05:16.460 mom I wasn't ready to come to Holland. But back 01:05:16.460 --> 01:05:20.260 to that, yeah, you just got to do it. But she 01:05:20.260 --> 01:05:22.059 was like, no, you can still go, but end up failing. 01:05:22.260 --> 01:05:25.719 I don't know if it was on purpose. I think back 01:05:25.719 --> 01:05:28.219 and I'm like, I just think I wasn't ready. I 01:05:28.219 --> 01:05:31.179 didn't have the discipline. I didn't have the, 01:05:31.179 --> 01:05:36.420 yeah, I guess discipline. And I also was, I knew 01:05:36.420 --> 01:05:38.679 the step of coming here was going to require 01:05:38.679 --> 01:05:44.880 a lot. And actually tapping into that, like in 01:05:44.880 --> 01:05:52.139 general, I don't think. Most people, most kids 01:05:52.139 --> 01:05:58.699 aren't ready at such a young age. And definitely 01:05:58.699 --> 01:06:01.519 if your intuition is telling you you're not ready, 01:06:01.639 --> 01:06:08.360 parents, listen to that. It's okay if they go 01:06:08.360 --> 01:06:11.820 a year or two later and they feel that they're 01:06:11.820 --> 01:06:15.369 ready because they'll also be. more ready to 01:06:15.369 --> 01:06:18.449 take on the challenges and and perhaps not have 01:06:18.449 --> 01:06:23.289 to uh get knocked down a couple times really 01:06:23.289 --> 01:06:26.489 hard before they get back up etc i mean that 01:06:26.489 --> 01:06:30.530 in itself also has its own own lessons etc but 01:06:30.530 --> 01:06:35.210 um but i've noticed the difference of um Because 01:06:35.210 --> 01:06:39.010 I could have come when I was 17, but then I failed 01:06:39.010 --> 01:06:41.590 and I came at 18. And I probably wasn't ready, 01:06:41.650 --> 01:06:43.570 but I knew at this point I didn't have a choice. 01:06:43.730 --> 01:06:46.590 So I was more prepared mentally to do it. But 01:06:46.590 --> 01:06:49.030 I remember I came up at the time with a friend 01:06:49.030 --> 01:06:51.570 who had already graduated two years before and 01:06:51.570 --> 01:06:54.730 stayed and worked on the island. And how she 01:06:54.730 --> 01:06:57.250 approached life up here was already so different 01:06:57.250 --> 01:06:59.869 to me because she already had spent two years 01:06:59.869 --> 01:07:02.570 outside of high school working on the island. 01:07:04.329 --> 01:07:07.530 more independent more structure exactly and i 01:07:07.530 --> 01:07:10.409 think sometimes we on the island we think as 01:07:10.409 --> 01:07:11.929 soon as you finish high school you gotta move 01:07:11.929 --> 01:07:15.190 away get an education but i think ultimately 01:07:15.190 --> 01:07:17.480 it's about giving your child the tools to be 01:07:17.480 --> 01:07:20.780 able to, like, become an adult. Coach. And, yeah, 01:07:20.860 --> 01:07:26.219 back to the coaching. As good as they is, they 01:07:26.219 --> 01:07:28.320 can't go out to win the championship without 01:07:28.320 --> 01:07:32.139 the team yet. No, no. They still got to learn 01:07:32.139 --> 01:07:37.119 all the fundamentals. Exactly. But, like, yeah, 01:07:37.380 --> 01:07:39.960 I think, I know we sometimes think there's a 01:07:39.960 --> 01:07:42.659 specific way to do it, but it goes back to. Everyone 01:07:42.659 --> 01:07:45.760 is different. Yeah. And, like. listening to your 01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:48.960 child more and I guess yeah giving them the the 01:07:48.960 --> 01:07:52.639 actual choice of listening to themselves because 01:07:52.639 --> 01:07:54.980 I realized also even when my students they're 01:07:54.980 --> 01:07:58.360 so aware yeah they're so aware even sometimes 01:07:58.360 --> 01:08:02.780 like how they perceive me I'm like wow like they 01:08:02.780 --> 01:08:05.079 see me four hours a week but they already have 01:08:05.079 --> 01:08:08.179 an idea of who I am as a person yeah oh like 01:08:08.179 --> 01:08:16.079 one of my students was like I was like, you're 01:08:16.079 --> 01:08:18.560 so dry as a person. I was like, that's funny 01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:20.560 because that's what my friends say a lot of the 01:08:20.560 --> 01:08:25.000 time. But it was just like, but it's not in a 01:08:25.000 --> 01:08:28.720 bad way. It was just like, like it just, how 01:08:28.720 --> 01:08:31.319 she perceive it is that like a lot of things 01:08:31.319 --> 01:08:35.100 don't bother you and they love it because they 01:08:35.100 --> 01:08:37.199 have other teachers who's like, they're screaming 01:08:37.199 --> 01:08:39.159 and they're getting on and they're like, sometimes 01:08:39.159 --> 01:08:43.029 they feel like, i actually just listening to 01:08:43.029 --> 01:08:46.750 them yeah and it's not that i upset or anything 01:08:46.750 --> 01:08:49.729 and it might come across as like nonchalant in 01:08:49.729 --> 01:08:52.609 a way yeah and i'm like wow the fact that you 01:08:52.609 --> 01:08:56.630 seeing this at 12 13 and you can already put 01:08:56.630 --> 01:09:00.050 it into words so then imagine a 17 18 year old 01:09:00.050 --> 01:09:02.770 who already had those thoughts from that age 01:09:02.770 --> 01:09:04.550 it's like i don't i think we should trust them 01:09:04.550 --> 01:09:07.369 more yeah at that age so if they're saying they 01:09:07.369 --> 01:09:10.590 need a bit more time to figure it out Give them 01:09:10.590 --> 01:09:14.430 the time. Coach them in that time. Yeah, coaching 01:09:14.430 --> 01:09:18.550 versus being a dictator, I guess. Yeah, awesome. 01:09:19.189 --> 01:09:24.909 Yeah. So, I think we can wrap up. Yeah? Yeah. 01:09:25.550 --> 01:09:27.130 That was a really good conversation. Thank you 01:09:27.130 --> 01:09:29.270 very, very much for coming through. Thank you 01:09:29.270 --> 01:09:35.899 for having me. All the way to Aintje. Well, I 01:09:35.899 --> 01:09:39.500 didn't say it, but I probably said it. But I 01:09:39.500 --> 01:09:41.539 also want to thank you guys again for having 01:09:41.539 --> 01:09:46.060 me on your show. That was a pretty amazing experience, 01:09:46.119 --> 01:09:51.359 like being in the room with all the community 01:09:51.359 --> 01:09:54.659 up here and that whole vibe. So I definitely 01:09:54.659 --> 01:09:58.779 had lots of fun and positive energy being there 01:09:58.779 --> 01:10:04.140 with you guys and experiencing that. and definitely 01:10:04.140 --> 01:10:08.340 meeting you guys in these recent times and now 01:10:08.340 --> 01:10:11.159 us being able to have this conversation and go 01:10:11.159 --> 01:10:14.300 more in -depth. I also love and appreciate that 01:10:14.300 --> 01:10:16.720 a lot. Thank you for having me. I think you should 01:10:16.720 --> 01:10:18.600 still come on an actual episode where we could 01:10:18.600 --> 01:10:21.300 sit down for almost two hours and our viewers 01:10:21.300 --> 01:10:23.619 get to see you differently than the live show. 01:10:23.859 --> 01:10:25.819 Yeah. Because I feel like having the conversations 01:10:25.819 --> 01:10:27.699 we've been having, I feel like you have a lot 01:10:27.699 --> 01:10:30.880 of insight from a perspective that a lot of people 01:10:30.880 --> 01:10:34.100 need to see in our community. Yeah. But you call 01:10:34.100 --> 01:10:37.380 this Eintje? Eindhoven is Eintje. Eindhoven is 01:10:37.380 --> 01:10:40.140 Eintje. It was dubbed by that by the rappers 01:10:40.140 --> 01:10:46.180 of like 2007 era. The Kemppies and Fresco and 01:10:46.180 --> 01:10:50.119 all of them. Okay, I didn't know that. That's 01:10:50.119 --> 01:10:53.340 like Groningen have Gron. I did not know that. 01:10:54.600 --> 01:10:58.859 Yeah, but G -R -U -N -A. That's funny. But I 01:10:58.859 --> 01:11:00.760 was going to ask you because it's like for me, 01:11:00.819 --> 01:11:02.920 funny enough, like when we have a podcast and 01:11:02.920 --> 01:11:05.140 a guest and we just talk general conversations, 01:11:05.359 --> 01:11:07.979 I think now we started our Patreon where we go 01:11:07.979 --> 01:11:10.859 in depth as to who we are. So I was wondering 01:11:10.859 --> 01:11:15.079 like how you perceive it like now that we did 01:11:15.079 --> 01:11:18.800 an entire video. We could talk about this outside 01:11:18.800 --> 01:11:22.779 the podcast. What was your idea? Was it what 01:11:22.779 --> 01:11:25.199 you thought of who I was as a person? I always 01:11:25.199 --> 01:11:27.899 ask those questions. How do people perceive me? 01:11:30.300 --> 01:11:33.520 How would you summarize it? Or what have you 01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:36.800 taken away? What have I taken away? Well, the 01:11:36.800 --> 01:11:40.739 interesting... The things for me that were like 01:11:40.739 --> 01:11:44.520 brand new nuggets is your dad being from Belize 01:11:44.520 --> 01:11:47.619 and then having that Belize family and then connected 01:11:47.619 --> 01:11:49.640 to the States and having all of that exposure. 01:11:51.640 --> 01:11:54.939 I know you mentioned about your family before 01:11:54.939 --> 01:11:57.100 on the podcast, before I knew who the family 01:11:57.100 --> 01:11:59.180 was, but then based on the description, when 01:11:59.180 --> 01:12:01.020 I found out who the family was, I was like, oh 01:12:01.020 --> 01:12:11.319 yeah, that makes perfect sense. And also, I can't 01:12:11.319 --> 01:12:15.279 remember where it was in the story now, but when 01:12:15.279 --> 01:12:19.859 we sort of tapped into coming out of that dark 01:12:19.859 --> 01:12:22.880 place. Oh, yeah. And what it took to come out 01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:24.840 of that dark place and sort of the transition 01:12:24.840 --> 01:12:28.140 and also like taking a bit longer over school. 01:12:31.149 --> 01:12:34.550 I also took seven years, started in wanting. 01:12:34.930 --> 01:12:38.449 And at the time when I left, I knew that I wasn't, 01:12:38.449 --> 01:12:41.430 it's not that I wasn't, I was ready to leave 01:12:41.430 --> 01:12:44.529 the island. Yeah. But I didn't know what I wanted 01:12:44.529 --> 01:12:47.289 to study. I just wanted to make music. I actually 01:12:47.289 --> 01:12:50.949 didn't even want to study. But based on my family 01:12:50.949 --> 01:12:53.670 background, that was also a no -go option. No, 01:12:53.689 --> 01:12:58.420 exactly. You see? Yeah. So actually it was my 01:12:58.420 --> 01:13:01.359 youngest sister that found my first study. Because 01:13:01.359 --> 01:13:06.079 she is way more structured and focused and goes 01:13:06.079 --> 01:13:08.939 by the rules. And I usually look at the rules 01:13:08.939 --> 01:13:11.560 and say, these rules serve me? No? Okay, forget 01:13:11.560 --> 01:13:13.800 these rules. And then you go your own way. And 01:13:13.800 --> 01:13:18.619 I go my own way. So she came and she was investigating 01:13:18.619 --> 01:13:21.579 which study she was going to do a year before 01:13:21.579 --> 01:13:24.199 we were coming up. Wow, yeah. And she paid her 01:13:24.199 --> 01:13:26.439 own ticket. come up here to do that so that's 01:13:26.439 --> 01:13:30.119 the type of dedication at like 16 yeah okay uh 01:13:30.119 --> 01:13:33.340 and then she found this thing that was information 01:13:33.340 --> 01:13:35.720 technology and was like hey look this is an option 01:13:35.720 --> 01:13:39.079 for you i was like okay whatever i i still trying 01:13:39.079 --> 01:13:41.039 to see if i can get to the states that didn't 01:13:41.039 --> 01:13:43.060 work out so i was like okay well i guess i'll 01:13:43.060 --> 01:13:46.819 go do that yeah um we didn't have no kind of 01:13:46.819 --> 01:13:49.899 connection with technology or well i had connection 01:13:49.899 --> 01:13:52.359 with technology like you could see it even today 01:13:52.359 --> 01:13:56.600 i love technology but But also being a creative, 01:13:57.020 --> 01:14:02.100 being a coder, a coder is very binary. It's the 01:14:02.100 --> 01:14:05.300 ones and zeros. Everything is absolute. Like 01:14:05.300 --> 01:14:08.220 you either set it up in this way and then it 01:14:08.220 --> 01:14:14.500 works or it doesn't. Now my profession is a designer, 01:14:14.619 --> 01:14:19.100 which I switched to along the way, where I still 01:14:19.100 --> 01:14:22.600 have a connection to code and structure. But 01:14:22.600 --> 01:14:25.199 then I can creatively create this new canvas. 01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:28.439 And then once I figure out what this new creation 01:14:28.439 --> 01:14:31.260 is, I can give it to the coders to make it absolute 01:14:31.260 --> 01:14:34.680 work. So then kind of being the bridge there. 01:14:34.899 --> 01:14:37.439 But see, we're getting completely sidetracked 01:14:37.439 --> 01:14:43.050 again. Yeah, no. I don't know if you want to 01:14:43.050 --> 01:14:46.029 finish. But the reason I ask is because I realize 01:14:46.029 --> 01:14:48.810 if I really think on who I am as a person, it's 01:14:48.810 --> 01:14:52.609 really to share my story in a way to make people 01:14:52.609 --> 01:14:54.649 know that they're not alone. Because whether 01:14:54.649 --> 01:14:58.550 I was in the wrong relationship or it took a 01:14:58.550 --> 01:15:00.789 long while to finish study or I really didn't 01:15:00.789 --> 01:15:02.590 know what I was doing and it took me a while 01:15:02.590 --> 01:15:05.890 to figure out what to do. My biggest thing is 01:15:05.890 --> 01:15:08.590 I hope people take away that it's not this beautiful 01:15:08.590 --> 01:15:13.840 process. Yeah, it's messy. It's so messy. But 01:15:13.840 --> 01:15:17.279 it's still beautiful in all its mess. Yeah, that's 01:15:17.279 --> 01:15:21.560 true. It's not easy, I guess, is the word. But 01:15:21.560 --> 01:15:27.880 my biggest takeaway would be that all of that, 01:15:28.100 --> 01:15:31.659 because I've seen a couple episodes of you guys, 01:15:31.840 --> 01:15:37.020 and from everything I've seen, I do see that 01:15:37.020 --> 01:15:39.779 person. So that is the same person that's sitting 01:15:39.779 --> 01:15:43.000 here right now. It's just that I've gotten more 01:15:43.000 --> 01:15:47.520 details to understand. Let's say if you have 01:15:47.520 --> 01:15:51.119 the clear plat, the coloring, you get to fill 01:15:51.119 --> 01:15:57.600 in more of the vacuous. Yeah. More of the sections. 01:16:01.479 --> 01:16:03.579 But you see, when you grow up, like, multilingual, 01:16:03.739 --> 01:16:08.960 like, I'm stuckus. Yeah, stuckus. Fuckus. I get 01:16:08.960 --> 01:16:14.359 what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. So it makes the picture 01:16:14.359 --> 01:16:17.720 more whole that you have an even better understanding 01:16:17.720 --> 01:16:21.239 of why you are who you are. Yeah, I get that. 01:16:21.359 --> 01:16:23.939 So that would be, that I would say would be the 01:16:23.939 --> 01:16:27.170 biggest takeaway from today. Well, thank you. 01:16:27.409 --> 01:16:30.909 Thank you. Any final words for the peoples at 01:16:30.909 --> 01:16:33.170 home? I guess I don't know if it will be in the 01:16:33.170 --> 01:16:36.970 description. You can follow me on Haiti Leone, 01:16:36.970 --> 01:16:39.210 but also more so the podcast right now. We're 01:16:39.210 --> 01:16:42.229 pushing that this year. Bite the Bullet Pod on 01:16:42.229 --> 01:16:45.829 Instagram, but you can subscribe on YouTube on 01:16:45.829 --> 01:16:47.949 Bite the Bullet Podcast and also on Patreon. 01:16:48.920 --> 01:16:52.239 Oh, yeah. And this year, you guys are stepping 01:16:52.239 --> 01:16:55.380 up a lot more stuff with the Patreon, with the 01:16:55.380 --> 01:16:58.500 merchandise. Yeah, we have merch now with the 01:16:58.500 --> 01:17:02.819 hoodies, back to the small school. Also, something 01:17:02.819 --> 01:17:06.899 else, mugs. But also, the thing with the studio 01:17:06.899 --> 01:17:09.640 is really not just for us. It's also going to 01:17:09.640 --> 01:17:11.880 be a way of giving back to the community, especially 01:17:11.880 --> 01:17:14.119 just creatives, so that we can have a space. 01:17:14.729 --> 01:17:18.670 in Den Haag. That's not as expensive because 01:17:18.670 --> 01:17:22.529 renting rooms or just studios is so expensive. 01:17:23.850 --> 01:17:27.090 To give people the chance to tap into the creativity, 01:17:27.109 --> 01:17:29.229 because I think if I had a space like that at 01:17:29.229 --> 01:17:32.810 that time, where people that I trusted or looked 01:17:32.810 --> 01:17:36.170 like me, it would have been easier to, I don't 01:17:36.170 --> 01:17:38.750 know, tap into it earlier. So I hope that helps 01:17:38.750 --> 01:17:43.149 for people looking. Awesome. Thank you very, 01:17:43.229 --> 01:17:46.270 very much. Thank you so much. And I'm looking 01:17:46.270 --> 01:17:49.890 forward to us continue having amazing conversations 01:17:49.890 --> 01:17:53.850 in the future. We will. Thank you. Thank you. 01:17:54.670 --> 01:17:58.890 All right, peoples at home. Thanks for tuning 01:17:58.890 --> 01:18:02.609 in. You can like, hopefully you liked already. 01:18:03.310 --> 01:18:05.789 You can definitely drop a comment because that 01:18:05.789 --> 01:18:09.810 helps. the algorithm to push this further out 01:18:09.810 --> 01:18:13.029 to many others and if you haven't yet then subscribe 01:18:13.029 --> 01:18:16.850 share with a friend and let us know what you 01:18:16.850 --> 01:18:20.210 think thank you very much signing out bless