WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.680 Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education 00:00:02.680 --> 00:00:06.160 teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:09.119 communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson 00:00:09.119 --> 00:00:11.660 ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged 00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:15.300 4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in 00:00:15.300 --> 00:00:17.640 the field answering your questions and sharing 00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:19.539 our knowledge and experience working alongside 00:00:19.539 --> 00:00:22.539 our beautiful young people. Let's get started. 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:31.899 Before we jump into this episode, I have a little 00:00:31.899 --> 00:00:35.539 announcement. I am going on maternity leave in 00:00:35.539 --> 00:00:38.359 autumn term, which is incredibly exciting. My 00:00:38.359 --> 00:00:43.259 first child long awaited after 11 years. So yeah, 00:00:43.340 --> 00:00:45.840 I'm really excited about it. But I hope that 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:48.520 means that you understand that this podcast is 00:00:48.520 --> 00:00:50.880 just going on pause for a little while whilst 00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:54.920 I adjust to motherhood and parent life. Hopefully 00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:57.299 you understand that. So we've got some episodes 00:00:57.299 --> 00:00:59.439 coming out all over August, but then we will 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:02.320 be pausing and we will be revisiting throughout 00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:05.500 next year all of the amazing episodes. We've 00:01:05.500 --> 00:01:08.920 only got 100 episodes from the previous few years 00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:12.439 and then we'll be back after my maternity leave. 00:01:13.159 --> 00:01:15.599 There's some fantastic episodes out there and 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:17.540 I'm sure you can't have listened to all of them. 00:01:17.599 --> 00:01:19.120 So hopefully you still get something out of it. 00:01:19.879 --> 00:01:22.540 This episode is a little bit different. I'm actually 00:01:22.540 --> 00:01:24.379 the one being interviewed for this one. I thought 00:01:24.379 --> 00:01:27.299 the last one of term, especially with this rounding 00:01:27.299 --> 00:01:30.760 off before this break of mine, it'd be really 00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:34.159 nice to be interviewed myself on my classroom, 00:01:34.299 --> 00:01:37.420 my learners, my thoughts and feelings on SEND 00:01:37.420 --> 00:01:41.280 and how the world is right now. So the lovely 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:46.500 people, Nathan at SEND Help. interviewed me and 00:01:46.500 --> 00:01:50.239 posted that on his podcast and I allowed me to 00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:53.230 share it online with you guys as well. So hopefully 00:01:53.230 --> 00:01:55.870 it feels like a really lovely round off on my 00:01:55.870 --> 00:01:58.329 thoughts and feelings just as I started this 00:01:58.329 --> 00:02:01.010 podcast on episode one. I'd love you to stick 00:02:01.010 --> 00:02:04.010 around. I'd love you to keep listening to the 00:02:04.010 --> 00:02:05.930 wonderful experts. Keep reminding yourself of 00:02:05.930 --> 00:02:07.969 these fabulous episodes. I'm so proud of this 00:02:07.969 --> 00:02:11.069 podcast and I'm so grateful for you listening 00:02:11.069 --> 00:02:13.949 every week. And yeah, please wish me luck. This 00:02:13.949 --> 00:02:18.389 is a huge change and shift for me and one that 00:02:18.389 --> 00:02:21.849 I'm really, really excited for. Without further 00:02:21.849 --> 00:02:25.210 ado, let's get into the episode. Hello and welcome 00:02:25.210 --> 00:02:27.150 to another episode of the Send Help podcast. 00:02:27.270 --> 00:02:29.310 And today I've got a special guest today. You 00:02:29.310 --> 00:02:31.509 might have seen her online and across Facebook 00:02:31.509 --> 00:02:34.150 and Instagram. We've got Jordan from Our Sensory 00:02:34.150 --> 00:02:36.110 Class. So it's going to be hopefully a great 00:02:36.110 --> 00:02:37.430 episode. I'm sure it's going to be a great episode. 00:02:37.650 --> 00:02:39.830 She's got lots to offer in the sense of experience 00:02:39.830 --> 00:02:42.310 and what she's doing now through social media. 00:02:42.729 --> 00:02:45.370 And so without butchering her journey, I'll introduce 00:02:45.370 --> 00:02:47.469 you to Jordan and let her kind of say a bit about 00:02:47.469 --> 00:02:49.930 where she comes from, what she's doing now, you 00:02:49.930 --> 00:02:51.750 know, what she's got going on with businesses 00:02:51.750 --> 00:02:55.159 and stuff. And yeah, so. Hey, it's Jordan. Yeah, 00:02:55.259 --> 00:02:58.000 so my name's Jordan and I run Sensory Classroom 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:00.419 Limited or Sensory Class as you see on social 00:03:00.419 --> 00:03:03.280 media. I'm ultimately a special education teacher. 00:03:03.960 --> 00:03:07.680 and have been for 16 plus years now. I started 00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:10.360 as a supply teaching assistant whilst I was doing 00:03:10.360 --> 00:03:12.340 my acting degree. I always wanted to be a drama 00:03:12.340 --> 00:03:14.240 teacher, actually, in secondary school, maybe 00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:15.840 in secondary school. That's what I thought I 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:17.860 wanted to be. But I took some kind of ad hoc 00:03:17.860 --> 00:03:19.680 hours whilst I was doing my degree for a bit 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:21.960 of teaching experience. I thought, well, what's 00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:24.340 better to prepare you to be a teacher than teaching 00:03:24.340 --> 00:03:28.319 and supply TAing in a special needs school? And 00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:30.319 I was absolutely right, but I very quickly fell 00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:32.439 in love with it. And within my first year of 00:03:32.439 --> 00:03:34.090 my degree, I completed... switched what I wanted 00:03:34.090 --> 00:03:36.889 to work towards and I wanted to be a special 00:03:36.889 --> 00:03:39.949 needs teacher so I worked in a school in that 00:03:39.949 --> 00:03:42.370 school for 10 years I was a TA and then I became 00:03:42.370 --> 00:03:45.030 a teacher in that same school working with pupils 00:03:45.030 --> 00:03:49.830 aged 3 to 19 with complex severe learning disabilities 00:03:49.830 --> 00:03:52.710 a range of different diagnosis and needs which 00:03:52.710 --> 00:03:55.750 was such a great experience. And then more recently, 00:03:55.909 --> 00:03:58.569 seven years ago, I moved to Cornwall and worked 00:03:58.569 --> 00:04:00.729 in, it was actually a mainstream school, but 00:04:00.729 --> 00:04:03.110 had specialist provision attached to it. So I 00:04:03.110 --> 00:04:06.530 had much more autonomy on how I did things. And 00:04:06.530 --> 00:04:08.979 that was where I really experimented with. how 00:04:08.979 --> 00:04:11.659 I wanted to do it in that kind of neuro affirming 00:04:11.659 --> 00:04:14.580 way and really experimented with what that looked 00:04:14.580 --> 00:04:16.500 like and what that could be and then in between 00:04:16.500 --> 00:04:19.120 times I was also a disabilities foster carer 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:22.220 as well through emergency placements long -term 00:04:22.220 --> 00:04:24.540 placement and respite placements all children 00:04:24.540 --> 00:04:27.339 with disabilities for the most part and lots 00:04:27.339 --> 00:04:31.319 of trauma as well so I kind of have a very wide 00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:34.319 range of experience, I suppose. And maybe that's 00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:36.439 why my social media blew up very quickly the 00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:39.000 way it did when I started two years ago, because 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.420 I could kind of relate to the parent side of 00:04:41.420 --> 00:04:43.660 things, the teacher side of things, the Sanko 00:04:43.660 --> 00:04:45.540 side of things, the foster care kind of side 00:04:45.540 --> 00:04:47.639 of things and kind of, yeah, reach everybody 00:04:47.639 --> 00:04:49.600 really. And also, I think it's just a sign of 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:51.740 the times that people are just desperate for 00:04:51.740 --> 00:04:54.560 some kind of ideas that are done in a passionate 00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:56.800 and loving way. And that's always, that was why 00:04:56.800 --> 00:04:58.980 I started really. I was looking on social media 00:04:58.980 --> 00:05:02.079 for you know, special education ideas and things. 00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:04.860 And all I could see was, I think it was meant 00:05:04.860 --> 00:05:07.519 with love, but it was kind of felt mocking or 00:05:07.519 --> 00:05:11.220 like making fun of or even like glorifying, hurting 00:05:11.220 --> 00:05:13.399 behaviours, glorifying how challenging the job 00:05:13.399 --> 00:05:16.240 was, showing bruises and bites and mess in the 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.240 classroom. And I just didn't like it. It just 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:20.160 didn't sit comfortably with me. For me, that 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:22.259 wasn't the reality of the job that I was in. 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:25.899 I adore my job. I adore my kids. We have so much 00:05:25.899 --> 00:05:29.339 fun. And that just wasn't my reality. I couldn't 00:05:29.339 --> 00:05:32.279 find anything, any teacher out there showing 00:05:32.279 --> 00:05:37.060 my reality that it's so fun and so full of love 00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:40.860 and colour and laughter and joy. And we're always 00:05:40.860 --> 00:05:43.000 behind a locked door. Nobody can ever see what 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:46.199 we actually get up to. Not even those teachers 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:48.600 that I work next to saw what we were doing because 00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:50.759 we were literally behind a locked door. So that's 00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:53.860 where I started filming some ideas because, yeah, 00:05:53.899 --> 00:05:57.019 I wanted to share my reality of how awesome this 00:05:57.019 --> 00:06:01.290 job is. No, that's brilliant. I mean, well, first 00:06:01.290 --> 00:06:02.370 thing I'm going to say is how do you get time 00:06:02.370 --> 00:06:04.709 to do anything? It sounds like you're busy constantly. 00:06:05.589 --> 00:06:08.250 It was that. Last year I was - And then I was 00:06:08.250 --> 00:06:09.870 just doing foster caring and you're like, whoa. 00:06:11.250 --> 00:06:13.189 I am a bit like that. So I am neurodivergent 00:06:13.189 --> 00:06:16.670 myself. So I think that helps. When I see a need 00:06:16.670 --> 00:06:19.589 out there, I just find the energy and time and 00:06:19.589 --> 00:06:22.050 capacity to fill that need. I just think that's 00:06:22.050 --> 00:06:24.839 part of - the beautiful part of being neurodivergent. 00:06:24.860 --> 00:06:28.319 So that does help. But also I, yeah, last year 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:30.180 was absolutely crazy. It's calmed down a little 00:06:30.180 --> 00:06:31.620 bit more this year, but last year I was running 00:06:31.620 --> 00:06:34.399 two classrooms. I was also running my growing 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:37.379 startup business and it was all happening over 00:06:37.379 --> 00:06:39.000 the top of each other. So that last year was 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.019 absolutely crazy. My husband will say I didn't 00:06:41.019 --> 00:06:44.060 sleep. It was mental. This year, since September, 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:46.019 I've stepped out of the classroom and I'm focusing 00:06:46.019 --> 00:06:48.899 much more on business and consultancy. I'm still 00:06:48.899 --> 00:06:50.899 linked with schools. I still go into schools 00:06:50.899 --> 00:06:52.600 and work with children, but I don't have my own 00:06:52.600 --> 00:06:54.680 classroom. And that for me has made it possible 00:06:54.680 --> 00:06:57.240 to make this sustainable because last year I 00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:58.560 couldn't have done it for a second year. It was 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:00.319 absolutely crazy. So yeah, I don't want teachers 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.360 thinking that they're watching me and thinking, 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:03.819 how does she do it all? I wish I could do that. 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:06.339 It isn't reality for more than a year, honestly. 00:07:06.660 --> 00:07:09.220 So it's quite good to hear from your side of 00:07:09.220 --> 00:07:10.579 why you got into it because I've never really 00:07:10.579 --> 00:07:12.300 heard of it. Obviously, I know why I got into 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.339 my social media side of it, but it's good that 00:07:14.339 --> 00:07:18.459 you kind of saw. How did you feel the social 00:07:18.459 --> 00:07:20.839 media with the teachers and stuff? Because I 00:07:20.839 --> 00:07:23.199 think you're right in a lot of it is glorifying 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:25.240 the bad bits and how stressful it is. And I'm 00:07:25.240 --> 00:07:26.420 not saying it's not stressful. It absolutely 00:07:26.420 --> 00:07:28.819 is in some areas. But there wasn't very many 00:07:28.819 --> 00:07:30.319 people like you that are coming out with the 00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:32.500 whole positive approach. And I suppose, especially 00:07:32.500 --> 00:07:34.740 I know from social media, that's a lot harder 00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:37.259 to get a following because people are more attracted 00:07:37.259 --> 00:07:39.079 to the negative posts and stuff like that. To 00:07:39.079 --> 00:07:40.860 get a following before already just shows you. 00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:44.279 It definitely does. Yeah, I've dabbled into it 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:47.750 a few times. almost like opposing the negative 00:07:47.750 --> 00:07:50.529 comments and they always get more comments and 00:07:50.529 --> 00:07:52.790 things so if you're after engagement and to grow 00:07:52.790 --> 00:07:55.259 your following then yeah go for it but I'm not. 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:58.800 I'm here for advocacy and sharing the reality. 00:07:58.980 --> 00:08:02.480 So many parents of SEND children have their children 00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:04.839 in mainstream because they're terrified and have 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:07.740 no idea what special education can look like. 00:08:07.939 --> 00:08:10.639 There's a kind of idea that it's an institution, 00:08:11.060 --> 00:08:16.139 that it's harmful, that it is strict and that 00:08:16.139 --> 00:08:18.639 children don't have autonomy. And actually, that's 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:21.300 not my reality. It may be in some settings. And 00:08:21.300 --> 00:08:24.410 I'm also trying really hard to educate. those 00:08:24.410 --> 00:08:26.649 settings, how different it could be. But it's 00:08:26.649 --> 00:08:28.949 certainly not the reality in my setting. My setting 00:08:28.949 --> 00:08:32.269 is full of songs and color and laughter and joy 00:08:32.269 --> 00:08:34.750 and all of my teaching assistants just adore 00:08:34.750 --> 00:08:38.610 the kids to their absolute bones. And I just 00:08:38.610 --> 00:08:41.309 want, if parents could see that. then they would 00:08:41.309 --> 00:08:43.470 jump at the chance of their children being in 00:08:43.470 --> 00:08:46.269 these settings and wouldn't maybe wait longer 00:08:46.269 --> 00:08:50.169 than is necessary to make that call. And same 00:08:50.169 --> 00:08:52.129 for teachers and SENCOs as well. They work so 00:08:52.129 --> 00:08:54.429 hard, so passionately about these children they 00:08:54.429 --> 00:08:57.029 absolutely love in mainstream, trying to keep 00:08:57.029 --> 00:08:59.070 them there. And that isn't always best for the 00:08:59.070 --> 00:09:00.850 learners. And I just think if they could see 00:09:00.850 --> 00:09:04.600 what we can offer, then those that... can access 00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:06.639 it and are able to access it which is getting 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:08.519 harder and harder and harder like there's the 00:09:08.519 --> 00:09:10.840 filters are getting much smaller the parameters 00:09:10.840 --> 00:09:13.519 are getting much more strict on who can be in 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:17.279 a special education school if a learner is able 00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:19.980 to I would hate for the barrier to their access 00:09:19.980 --> 00:09:23.279 being the adults in their care so yeah that's 00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:25.779 another passion of mine is The adults around 00:09:25.779 --> 00:09:27.720 the child understanding what special education 00:09:27.720 --> 00:09:30.659 can actually offer and how much love and joy 00:09:30.659 --> 00:09:34.320 and understanding there really is within the 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:36.940 setting rather than it being institution because 00:09:36.940 --> 00:09:40.639 that just isn't my reality. It's very hard, isn't 00:09:40.639 --> 00:09:42.200 it? Because I've got mixed reality when it comes 00:09:42.200 --> 00:09:43.779 to this as well through my various job roles. 00:09:43.899 --> 00:09:45.960 And my favourite job was working in a school 00:09:45.960 --> 00:09:48.960 with the most challenging kids with autism and 00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:50.679 learning disabilities. And I was only there because 00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:52.220 the other schools couldn't take them because 00:09:52.220 --> 00:09:54.059 of the challenging behaviour. But it was great. 00:09:54.139 --> 00:09:56.529 And as you said, my reality was... We got them 00:09:56.529 --> 00:09:59.169 to do kind of anything through having the resources 00:09:59.169 --> 00:10:01.870 and the time, the patience, the staff levels. 00:10:02.110 --> 00:10:04.289 And it was just great. And I think as I've got 00:10:04.289 --> 00:10:06.049 older, it's just got further and further and 00:10:06.049 --> 00:10:07.970 further and further away from that. And I don't, 00:10:07.970 --> 00:10:10.370 so what's, how come, what do you think the difference 00:10:10.370 --> 00:10:12.610 is? How come there is some still that are still 00:10:12.610 --> 00:10:15.129 far behind in their approach compared to like 00:10:15.129 --> 00:10:16.809 you that seems to be very, well, yours seems 00:10:16.809 --> 00:10:18.350 to be right. I mean, like look at your videos 00:10:18.350 --> 00:10:19.929 and stuff. It seems to be just the right way 00:10:19.929 --> 00:10:23.289 to do it. And it's like very hard to then understand 00:10:23.289 --> 00:10:25.830 why there is schools out there that are so. and 00:10:25.830 --> 00:10:28.049 to doing that approach? I guess there's three 00:10:28.049 --> 00:10:30.250 reasons. One is just training and understanding. 00:10:30.570 --> 00:10:33.730 If they've only ever been trained in ABA approaches 00:10:33.730 --> 00:10:36.789 and that's all they know, so applied behaviour 00:10:36.789 --> 00:10:40.070 analysis approaches, then they are the kind of 00:10:40.070 --> 00:10:43.049 institutionalised, non -neurofirming practices. 00:10:43.210 --> 00:10:44.870 And that's going to cause some controversy that 00:10:44.870 --> 00:10:47.029 I've said that, but I'm quite passionate about 00:10:47.029 --> 00:10:49.409 that. Sometimes that's all teachers are taught. 00:10:49.909 --> 00:10:51.830 or professionals are taught, schools are taught. 00:10:52.129 --> 00:10:54.090 So if they know no different, then they know 00:10:54.090 --> 00:10:56.750 no better. So that's one problem. The other problem 00:10:56.750 --> 00:11:00.029 is lack of staff and lack of budget. Without 00:11:00.029 --> 00:11:02.649 the adults, without the space, without the resources, 00:11:02.710 --> 00:11:06.029 it's really hard to offer all these fun and exciting 00:11:06.029 --> 00:11:07.909 things. That was another reason why I started 00:11:07.909 --> 00:11:10.110 social media was to literally fund my classroom. 00:11:10.350 --> 00:11:12.470 I wanted to do all of the fun things and we didn't 00:11:12.470 --> 00:11:14.129 have the school budget. I had to beg, borrow 00:11:14.129 --> 00:11:16.669 and steal for blue sticks. Like it was... It's 00:11:16.669 --> 00:11:20.490 dire. I've never worked before the last couple 00:11:20.490 --> 00:11:23.450 of years where the lighting and electricity budget 00:11:23.450 --> 00:11:26.230 has been mentioned to me as a teacher. It's dire. 00:11:26.470 --> 00:11:30.029 The budget at the moment is really dire. I mean, 00:11:30.049 --> 00:11:32.509 it was a privilege that I could very quickly 00:11:32.509 --> 00:11:36.809 earn a living through social media. And it literally 00:11:36.809 --> 00:11:40.570 did fund my classroom in that first year. Everything 00:11:40.570 --> 00:11:43.409 went back into it. Every T -shirt sale, everything 00:11:43.409 --> 00:11:46.210 went back into it. So that I could pay for the 00:11:46.210 --> 00:11:49.590 fun slime and jelly and constant corn flour and 00:11:49.590 --> 00:11:51.970 flour and glitter and all of those things that 00:11:51.970 --> 00:11:54.730 I wanted and the children needed. I mean, some 00:11:54.730 --> 00:11:58.450 of it went on nappy bags and gloves. So basic 00:11:58.450 --> 00:12:00.990 needs for our classroom and lots of that went 00:12:00.990 --> 00:12:02.409 back into it. So that was another reason why 00:12:02.409 --> 00:12:05.379 I started. So budget. I think people, some teachers 00:12:05.379 --> 00:12:07.039 must look at my account and think, yeah, great 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:09.159 for you. But, you know, I've got a glue stick, 00:12:09.220 --> 00:12:11.000 some pencils and some paper. Like, how am I going 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:13.340 to make that work? So lots of what I try and 00:12:13.340 --> 00:12:15.240 share is, you know, free stuff that you might 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:17.120 have already around the classroom or in the school. 00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:18.940 And I'm going more and more that route because 00:12:18.940 --> 00:12:20.539 I'm aware that it's more and more of a problem. 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:23.759 And the other thing is just fear. Fear about 00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:27.259 letting go of those rules and that strict regime. 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:31.480 And the fear of what happens if I let the kids 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:34.980 lead? What happens if I give them autonomy? Because 00:12:34.980 --> 00:12:37.440 in their mind, whenever that's happened, it's 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:41.279 caused dysregulation. It's caused a chaos. I 00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:42.960 suppose in their mind, that's what they're perceiving. 00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:46.080 But actually, it's like a muscle. The more you 00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:48.759 do it, the more the learners and adults feel 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:51.399 comfortable in it. Then actually, it's just incredibly 00:12:51.399 --> 00:12:54.460 beautiful. And it leads to consent so that you 00:12:54.460 --> 00:12:57.250 know the children want to be. There it leads 00:12:57.250 --> 00:12:59.629 to children listening to their bodies or learners, 00:12:59.669 --> 00:13:01.450 I shouldn't say children, some of these are adults, 00:13:01.549 --> 00:13:03.929 right? Learners listening to their bodies on 00:13:03.929 --> 00:13:06.690 what feels right for them and what feels comfortable 00:13:06.690 --> 00:13:08.649 to them and leaving when it doesn't feel comfortable. 00:13:08.929 --> 00:13:11.289 Honouring their autonomy is just massive and 00:13:11.289 --> 00:13:13.470 that just wasn't happening before. Being learner 00:13:13.470 --> 00:13:15.649 -led, so following their special interests and 00:13:15.649 --> 00:13:17.779 their interests leads to such... better learning 00:13:17.779 --> 00:13:19.919 opportunities and we've got the privilege of 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:22.120 being able to do that in special education when 00:13:22.120 --> 00:13:25.179 we've got more adults and and more time and more 00:13:25.179 --> 00:13:28.379 just freedom to be able to bend the curriculum 00:13:28.379 --> 00:13:31.360 around the learners that we've got in any year 00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:34.159 so i think there's a few reasons why it isn't 00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:37.340 happening fear training budget But all of those 00:13:37.340 --> 00:13:41.080 are compatible if you want them to be. I chose 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:45.879 to have less adults and reduce lots of different 00:13:45.879 --> 00:13:47.639 things that normally would be provided in the 00:13:47.639 --> 00:13:50.909 budget so that I could. create a specialist curriculum 00:13:50.909 --> 00:13:54.049 I a lot of my own time and effort into creating 00:13:54.049 --> 00:13:56.230 that sensory curriculum which I now offer as 00:13:56.230 --> 00:13:59.110 a product to other schools so that they can have 00:13:59.110 --> 00:14:01.649 it accessible and affordable for them in fact 00:14:01.649 --> 00:14:03.669 all of my products I would say are incredibly 00:14:03.669 --> 00:14:07.590 affordable for schools because I know that it's 00:14:07.590 --> 00:14:10.350 really hard to get these ideas to get this time 00:14:10.350 --> 00:14:15.730 uh yeah create this bespoke sensory fun curriculum. 00:14:15.889 --> 00:14:18.269 And that really is my passion is to try and make 00:14:18.269 --> 00:14:20.190 it accessible to schools so that they can move 00:14:20.190 --> 00:14:24.070 away from this strict institutionalized behavior 00:14:24.070 --> 00:14:27.549 analysis approach model and more to one that's 00:14:27.549 --> 00:14:31.440 flexible and neuroaffirming. really shocking 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:33.500 to hear like kind of well i kind of expected 00:14:33.500 --> 00:14:35.519 it but it's here to hear like how much you had 00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:37.700 to fund to make that possible and in obviously 00:14:37.700 --> 00:14:40.259 situations wouldn't make that much sense in if 00:14:40.259 --> 00:14:41.960 obviously financially if you didn't have social 00:14:41.960 --> 00:14:44.200 media as i feel like it would have been a shame 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:48.620 what if in a mainstream setting what do you think 00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:50.720 do you think the lead tables have too much to 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.480 do with this because i i from my understanding 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:55.179 isn't it that you get but it's not so much about 00:14:55.179 --> 00:14:56.740 the budget not being there but if the budget's 00:14:56.740 --> 00:14:58.639 not allocated for that resource it's not you're 00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:00.529 not going to find it There's a couple of things. 00:15:00.610 --> 00:15:04.490 So we need to make sure that EHCPs are written 00:15:04.490 --> 00:15:08.769 well and that are actually appropriate for the 00:15:08.769 --> 00:15:10.330 child that we've got in the classroom right now. 00:15:10.370 --> 00:15:12.549 So many of them are so outdated that actually 00:15:12.549 --> 00:15:15.169 the child has changed in the time that they've 00:15:15.169 --> 00:15:16.429 been written. So we're not getting the appropriate 00:15:16.429 --> 00:15:19.330 budget for the child. The other is making sure 00:15:19.330 --> 00:15:21.389 that we're constantly moderating and proving 00:15:21.389 --> 00:15:24.730 with paperwork and proof and data that a child 00:15:24.730 --> 00:15:28.320 needs more support because our biggest... Budget 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:31.080 cost is adults and mainstream, all mainstream 00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:32.600 schools will agree that, you know, you need the 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:34.860 adults on the ground. Otherwise, it's not even 00:15:34.860 --> 00:15:37.600 safe, let alone children learning. And that is 00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:41.019 a huge cost to schools. And so often it isn't 00:15:41.019 --> 00:15:43.379 covered by the EHCP or the funding that comes 00:15:43.379 --> 00:15:46.879 in because of lack of time to be able to gather 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:49.299 the huge amounts of data. I mean, it's like a 00:15:49.299 --> 00:15:52.100 book, this thing that we use to gather for to 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:55.919 prove that our children are needing more budget 00:15:55.919 --> 00:15:58.730 and more support. I feel like that's the main 00:15:58.730 --> 00:16:01.190 barrier is time for the Sankos and teachers to 00:16:01.190 --> 00:16:04.769 do that and gather that data to fight that cause 00:16:04.769 --> 00:16:07.470 because they're on the ground, you know, doing 00:16:07.470 --> 00:16:10.049 free people's jobs, you know, where it's like 00:16:10.049 --> 00:16:11.789 the chicken and the egg, you know, you're doing 00:16:11.789 --> 00:16:13.149 free people's jobs because you haven't got the 00:16:13.149 --> 00:16:14.769 budget for more adults, but you can't get more 00:16:14.769 --> 00:16:17.450 adults because you haven't got time to then moderate 00:16:17.450 --> 00:16:20.490 and make sure the paperwork is accurate. We're 00:16:20.490 --> 00:16:23.210 kind of in a lose -lose cycle at the moment in 00:16:23.210 --> 00:16:25.649 special schools and mainstream schools, I would 00:16:25.649 --> 00:16:28.309 say, and probably alternative provisions as well. 00:16:28.470 --> 00:16:31.710 You know, it's all about the time it takes to 00:16:31.710 --> 00:16:35.909 prove this need. I've never had one denied, though. 00:16:36.009 --> 00:16:39.929 So as long as you can put in, you know, the time 00:16:39.929 --> 00:16:42.789 to gather all of this paperwork, it is there. 00:16:42.970 --> 00:16:47.330 It's just, yeah, I mean, it's time that we often 00:16:47.330 --> 00:16:52.250 just don't have. Yeah. For what I can see as 00:16:52.250 --> 00:16:54.169 well, with the fear, obviously, from the white 00:16:54.169 --> 00:16:55.669 paper and stuff coming out as well, is that a 00:16:55.669 --> 00:16:58.330 lot of kids that would mainly go over to schools 00:16:58.330 --> 00:17:00.990 like yours are now maybe not going to qualify 00:17:00.990 --> 00:17:02.450 to go to schools like yours. But then without 00:17:02.450 --> 00:17:05.190 them, again, if the budgets are going to remain 00:17:05.190 --> 00:17:06.549 the same and there's no actual funding going 00:17:06.549 --> 00:17:09.049 into it, then you're kind of in a worse situation 00:17:09.049 --> 00:17:10.609 going forward, aren't you? Than you would be 00:17:10.609 --> 00:17:13.170 now, which is a shame because there is so many... 00:17:13.820 --> 00:17:16.259 like I wouldn't say so many there is places but 00:17:16.259 --> 00:17:17.740 especially yours that are coming up that are 00:17:17.740 --> 00:17:19.359 showing all of this progress and what a specialist 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:21.359 school can like and it's almost like the parents 00:17:21.359 --> 00:17:23.420 must be like feeling sick kind of like they're 00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:24.839 without hope kind of thing and then like but 00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:27.059 what if and what what does that mean so like 00:17:27.059 --> 00:17:31.819 I'm not I mean what do you think how do you think 00:17:31.819 --> 00:17:33.400 I don't know I mean where do you think what do 00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:34.420 you think about all of that and where do you 00:17:34.420 --> 00:17:36.839 think that the kids The children that we always 00:17:36.839 --> 00:17:38.660 let down have got to be let down even more, which 00:17:38.660 --> 00:17:40.880 is the in -betweeners. So those that can cope 00:17:40.880 --> 00:17:42.819 in mainstream really well, regardless of diagnosis 00:17:42.819 --> 00:17:45.200 and need, those that can cope in mainstream really 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:48.000 well and that suit that level and that learning 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:51.299 style suits them will continue to do well. Those 00:17:51.299 --> 00:17:55.680 that have severe medical needs, I hope, will 00:17:55.680 --> 00:17:58.420 still have their special education place. But 00:17:58.420 --> 00:18:00.819 we've always had this in -betweener group. Yeah. 00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:04.559 They're not capable enough to access mainstream, 00:18:04.819 --> 00:18:07.880 how it is built. But they're not special enough. 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:10.039 They're not, you know, they've not got access 00:18:10.039 --> 00:18:13.000 to, for whatever reason, maybe their behavior 00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.059 is too challenging. I've had that before with 00:18:15.059 --> 00:18:17.920 foster children that I've looked after. Their 00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:20.400 behavior is too challenging. They're too dangerous 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:23.180 to be around the special needs children or more 00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:25.299 vulnerable children. Or maybe they haven't got, 00:18:25.339 --> 00:18:26.900 they don't qualify the medical needs or they 00:18:26.900 --> 00:18:29.940 don't qualify for the severe learning disability 00:18:29.940 --> 00:18:33.150 label. for whatever reason, then they're left 00:18:33.150 --> 00:18:35.910 out of the special education settings and that's 00:18:35.910 --> 00:18:37.650 going to happen more and more. And then what 00:18:37.650 --> 00:18:39.950 we're left with is this cohort that doesn't fit 00:18:39.950 --> 00:18:43.250 anywhere. And this is the cohort that have always 00:18:43.250 --> 00:18:45.049 been let down and are going to be continued to 00:18:45.049 --> 00:18:47.470 be let down by this white paper. They're the 00:18:47.470 --> 00:18:50.329 kids that are educated in corridors and cupboards 00:18:50.329 --> 00:18:53.210 and at home, honestly, like parents are just 00:18:53.210 --> 00:18:56.839 completely let down by the entire system. And 00:18:56.839 --> 00:18:59.660 we need a better answer for these kids than exclusion. 00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:02.500 And that's what's happening. Some children are 00:19:02.500 --> 00:19:04.220 lucky enough to get 15 hours in an alternative 00:19:04.220 --> 00:19:06.559 provision. And that is the maximum that they 00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:09.599 can get. That's the legal maximum, is 15 hours 00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:11.980 a week in an alternative provision. Some of them 00:19:11.980 --> 00:19:15.259 get EOTAS, which is educated alternatively or 00:19:15.259 --> 00:19:17.779 outside of education. But they're incredibly 00:19:17.779 --> 00:19:21.380 expensive packages and really hard to get, which 00:19:21.380 --> 00:19:24.180 often takes a lot of time and support from outsourced. 00:19:24.700 --> 00:19:27.180 places that parents have to often fund privately 00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:30.000 which just isn't possible for everybody and you 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.980 know these huge cohort which is growing massively 00:19:32.980 --> 00:19:35.759 having are not having their educational needs 00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:37.900 met not having their safety needs met not having 00:19:37.900 --> 00:19:41.000 their emotional needs met you know and yeah it's 00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:42.700 just it's just not good enough and the white 00:19:42.700 --> 00:19:45.480 paper is absolutely not going to help that no 00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:49.660 no and yeah no it is is does make you worry doesn't 00:19:49.660 --> 00:19:51.079 it the situations that we're seeing now and then 00:19:51.079 --> 00:19:53.789 seeing what that white paper might do I had 10 00:19:53.789 --> 00:19:57.049 or 11 children at one point in my special education 00:19:57.049 --> 00:19:59.470 class that was linked to a mainstream school. 00:19:59.549 --> 00:20:01.109 But I could have filled my classroom three times 00:20:01.109 --> 00:20:04.049 over with those that are in mainstream, that 00:20:04.049 --> 00:20:06.190 had a diagnosis, that had an EHCP, but didn't 00:20:06.190 --> 00:20:08.309 have that qualify for that specialist setting. 00:20:08.470 --> 00:20:10.210 The in -betweeners, if you will. But actually, 00:20:10.309 --> 00:20:12.029 the in -betweeners are becoming more and more 00:20:12.029 --> 00:20:14.569 complex. Like lots of them are in pads. Lots 00:20:14.569 --> 00:20:16.789 of them are non -speaking. Lots of them couldn't 00:20:16.789 --> 00:20:19.190 access the classroom in any way for any of their 00:20:19.190 --> 00:20:22.109 lessons. It was totally inappropriate. The TAs 00:20:22.109 --> 00:20:25.220 were incredible. loved them made it work luckily 00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:27.099 by us being attached to the mainstream school 00:20:27.099 --> 00:20:30.240 there was a lot of inclusion as far as they came 00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:33.259 to us inclusion rather than our kids coming to 00:20:33.259 --> 00:20:35.180 mainstream inclusion I mean that was the benefit 00:20:35.180 --> 00:20:37.019 of us being attached to them they came to our 00:20:37.019 --> 00:20:39.880 swimming and our PE and our play times and some 00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:44.099 of our literacy you know but they weren't accessing 00:20:44.099 --> 00:20:46.119 special education like it should be accessed 00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:48.059 you know some of these in -betweeners that we're 00:20:48.059 --> 00:20:52.269 talking about are non -speaking are in pads are 00:20:52.269 --> 00:20:55.549 incredibly complex and yet still don't qualify 00:20:55.549 --> 00:20:58.049 and I just feel like that's just only going to 00:20:58.049 --> 00:21:00.410 get worse and what that's going to affect is 00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:02.390 their own education but it's also going to affect 00:21:02.390 --> 00:21:04.970 all the other mainstream pupils who could learn 00:21:04.970 --> 00:21:08.450 in that setting education too because that isn't 00:21:08.450 --> 00:21:11.210 inclusion for anyone. Inclusion in my mind means 00:21:11.210 --> 00:21:14.250 belonging. They don't belong in those classrooms 00:21:14.250 --> 00:21:16.529 because the classrooms aren't made for them. 00:21:17.420 --> 00:21:21.900 It's totally unsafe for everybody. It doesn't 00:21:21.900 --> 00:21:24.279 mean it's not possible. It just is possible with 00:21:24.279 --> 00:21:26.559 the right training and the right budgets and 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:29.380 everything they're promising. And I'm going to 00:21:29.380 --> 00:21:32.160 wait to see if that is the reality. Honestly, 00:21:32.319 --> 00:21:36.339 I really hope it is. I really hope that. occupational 00:21:36.339 --> 00:21:38.079 therapists and speech and english therapists 00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:40.680 and teacher training happen and i really hope 00:21:40.680 --> 00:21:44.039 that budgets are allocated properly to all children 00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:46.720 that require it within mainstream schools i hope 00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:49.039 that spaces and resources are offered that are 00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:53.720 appropriate to to have true inclusion true belonging 00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:56.059 for these learners within mainstream school that's 00:21:56.059 --> 00:21:59.539 awesome i just will believe it when i see it 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.740 So you've touched on it about challenging behaviour 00:22:02.740 --> 00:22:04.559 of children as well. And I speak to a lot of 00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:06.200 parents that children would be in that bracket. 00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:08.599 What happens to them? Because there seems to 00:22:08.599 --> 00:22:10.599 be nowhere that would even accept them at the 00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:13.099 moment. And I feel like it's so cruel in the 00:22:13.099 --> 00:22:15.319 sense of, I don't believe very many of these 00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:17.019 children would have started off like this. They're 00:22:17.019 --> 00:22:18.799 let down by the system. Lots of environmental 00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:20.920 changes have happened. And then, as you said, 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:22.299 they're punished, they're punished, they're punished. 00:22:22.460 --> 00:22:25.500 But it seems like they're not fracturing in any 00:22:25.500 --> 00:22:27.660 kind of... I don't know if you're speaking about 00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:30.420 it. It's like if you're, there seems to be rules 00:22:30.420 --> 00:22:32.259 still in a sense of support. Often you get the 00:22:32.259 --> 00:22:34.319 support unless, if you're too distressed and 00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:36.559 you don't. And then what do you get then? Yeah, 00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:38.059 it's almost like you wait until it's already, 00:22:38.220 --> 00:22:39.799 the system's already failed before you're then 00:22:39.799 --> 00:22:41.420 putting in intervention. Because there is certain 00:22:41.420 --> 00:22:44.259 scores. for children with behavior that challenges 00:22:44.259 --> 00:22:47.539 for sure but often they have to be at such an 00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:51.279 extremely failed point in their education to 00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:53.500 access that but it's almost really too late they've 00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:55.799 got so much education trauma by that point i'll 00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:57.859 talk about my foster child actually we had him 00:22:57.859 --> 00:23:00.900 for 10 months and he was 10 when he came to us 00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:03.900 he'd already been to seven schools and expelled 00:23:03.900 --> 00:23:07.559 from seven schools He was a child that came with 00:23:07.559 --> 00:23:10.500 incredible trauma, but also a diagnosis of autism 00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:13.099 and self -harmed and had lots of hurting behaviors 00:23:13.099 --> 00:23:16.000 to himself and was a danger to himself. And that 00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:18.660 was a fear for lots of schools that they couldn't 00:23:18.660 --> 00:23:21.119 keep him safe was their reasoning. Ultimately, 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:23.980 I think he scared them and he was just a boy 00:23:23.980 --> 00:23:28.559 crying out to. be loved and accepted and he would 00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:31.440 do these behaviors to test them to see if they 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.059 were solid to see that they weren't going to 00:23:33.059 --> 00:23:35.160 run away like everybody else you know let him 00:23:35.160 --> 00:23:38.140 down like everybody else and when he was with 00:23:38.140 --> 00:23:40.220 us within those 10 months he had a school placement 00:23:40.220 --> 00:23:42.299 for three weeks and which is actually a special 00:23:42.299 --> 00:23:46.140 education settings placement too and it lasted 00:23:46.140 --> 00:23:48.240 three weeks and they said we can't meet his needs 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:50.160 he keeps saying that he's going to hurt himself 00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:52.579 that he wants to die and we just don't feel like 00:23:52.579 --> 00:23:55.140 we can keep him safe and All he was doing, you 00:23:55.140 --> 00:23:57.359 know, when we say behavior is communication, 00:23:57.740 --> 00:24:00.460 I know he was saying he wanted to die. What he 00:24:00.460 --> 00:24:02.319 was really saying is, show me you're not going 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:04.480 to let me down. That's what his behavior was 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:07.220 saying. You know, I'm going to be as awful as 00:24:07.220 --> 00:24:10.859 I can be just to prove that you're solid and 00:24:10.859 --> 00:24:12.940 not going to let me down. And ultimately, it 00:24:12.940 --> 00:24:15.140 was just his eighth school that let him down. 00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:17.319 And then there was no other placements for him 00:24:17.319 --> 00:24:19.240 left in our local area. And then he had to leave 00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:22.660 our home too. So not only did he lose his school 00:24:22.660 --> 00:24:26.019 setting, he lost his home. And I don't even know 00:24:26.019 --> 00:24:28.240 where he is now. He's in his 20s now. I don't 00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:30.759 know how many education settings he's been to 00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:34.039 and have failed him. And every time he's failed, 00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:37.000 it's just evidence in his mind that nobody wants 00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:40.920 him. Nobody's going to stick out. Nobody's going 00:24:40.920 --> 00:24:45.779 to be around for him, to truly see him and accept 00:24:45.779 --> 00:24:49.250 him for everything he is. I hate the word good 00:24:49.250 --> 00:24:52.269 and bad, but like all the colors of him, they 00:24:52.269 --> 00:24:54.470 weren't accepting. And there were so many stories. 00:24:54.650 --> 00:24:58.190 He had an AHCP. He was completely failed by the 00:24:58.190 --> 00:25:01.130 system in so many ways. But there are so many 00:25:01.130 --> 00:25:03.289 stories of him. And I think early intervention, 00:25:03.509 --> 00:25:06.589 if he was four or five in his first school and 00:25:06.589 --> 00:25:11.200 he wasn't let down in that way, if he was. resiliently 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.519 and rebelliously loved and accepted and in in 00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:17.500 all the ways in that school it wouldn't get to 00:25:17.500 --> 00:25:19.259 the point where he had to prove these things 00:25:19.259 --> 00:25:21.759 because the proof to him and the evidence would 00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:24.039 have been there for him right from the start 00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.720 and some mainstream schools do that incredibly 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:29.119 well in that been done amazingly that they just 00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:32.000 love resiliently and rebelliously these these 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.200 children with such complex needs and they have 00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:37.380 no budget they have no time they have no space 00:25:37.380 --> 00:25:39.720 they have no training But they are just putting 00:25:39.720 --> 00:25:41.720 in, I mean, that's half of my following, honestly. 00:25:42.059 --> 00:25:44.740 They're filing me out and seeking me out and 00:25:44.740 --> 00:25:47.700 using their own personal budget and money to 00:25:47.700 --> 00:25:49.619 fund these things because they adore these kids 00:25:49.619 --> 00:25:51.299 so much and they just don't want to let them 00:25:51.299 --> 00:25:54.180 down. But the system shouldn't be relying on 00:25:54.180 --> 00:25:57.019 the goodwill of these people that love these 00:25:57.019 --> 00:26:00.500 kids. And it is like, gosh, without the goodwill 00:26:00.500 --> 00:26:02.720 of teaching assistants that are on minimum wage 00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:06.319 and Sankos that are working ridiculous hours 00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:09.920 a week. The system would have failed way more 00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:13.759 than we're seeing now. Decades ago, we are on 00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:17.339 the backs of these people that are just trying 00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:19.720 to do the best of the kids with the absolute 00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:22.059 limited resources that they could ever have. 00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:25.000 And that's getting less and less and less and 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:26.920 less. It's not good. It seems to be played with 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:28.539 at the moment as well with the politicians and 00:26:28.539 --> 00:26:31.059 stuff like that, isn't it? It's just a, yeah, 00:26:31.099 --> 00:26:32.700 we'll do this, we'll do this. All these promises 00:26:32.700 --> 00:26:34.859 or not promises depending on their stance on 00:26:34.859 --> 00:26:38.480 Sen. And it's just, it's more than just, again, 00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:42.440 it's turned into Sen epidemic, I'd like to call 00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:44.880 it. It's more like a pandemic, isn't it? Like 00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:49.220 of what's going on is. filtering into everywhere 00:26:49.220 --> 00:26:51.299 the fact that even politicians have that as a 00:26:51.299 --> 00:26:53.759 main party piece that they're either saying that 00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:54.859 they don't believe in it and they're not going 00:26:54.859 --> 00:26:56.819 to fund all this extra money going there or some 00:26:56.819 --> 00:26:58.539 of them are saying yeah we will and we really 00:26:58.539 --> 00:27:00.960 support it and that's splitting the wet like 00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:03.720 the england's that that to me is crazy like you've 00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:05.259 got you've got to the point now that regular 00:27:05.259 --> 00:27:07.039 people have got such an opinion about sending 00:27:07.039 --> 00:27:09.519 kids i think it's outrageous i always go back 00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:12.039 to when i was 11 when i got diagnosed and i would 00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:14.200 say it was safer then it wasn't much better i 00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:15.880 didn't know much about it but it was safer because 00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:17.960 people had the preconceived notion he was a naughty 00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:20.200 child and left you alone that was it they might 00:27:20.200 --> 00:27:21.799 say it to your face or whatever but nowadays 00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:23.960 people make it their mission to go against again 00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:26.359 parties are going against how much money they're 00:27:26.359 --> 00:27:27.579 going to spend on saying how much they're going 00:27:27.579 --> 00:27:29.019 to go against it and you're thinking and i'm 00:27:29.019 --> 00:27:31.200 as you know we speak to families all the time 00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:33.279 and they're at bits and i'm thinking what are 00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:36.680 they not seeing like what are you It's just too 00:27:36.680 --> 00:27:40.839 easy to villainize the vulnerable, the voiceless, 00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:43.259 like the literal voiceless and the timeless. 00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:48.200 Like the carers of these non -speaking learners, 00:27:48.400 --> 00:27:52.200 this really important community as part of our 00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:55.940 country, are voiceless because they haven't got 00:27:55.940 --> 00:27:59.079 the time capacity or literal communication needs 00:27:59.079 --> 00:28:01.740 to be able to voice them. I mean, what an easy 00:28:01.740 --> 00:28:06.009 cohort to blame for all our problems. And there 00:28:06.009 --> 00:28:08.890 are other cohorts that they're vandalising too 00:28:08.890 --> 00:28:11.289 in a similar way that are voiceless in other 00:28:11.289 --> 00:28:15.769 ways. And it's just too easy rather than blaming 00:28:15.769 --> 00:28:18.670 those that just aren't paying their taxes. But 00:28:18.670 --> 00:28:21.589 they're the ones that can pay to not have that 00:28:21.589 --> 00:28:24.470 in the papers. And it's really sad. And I think 00:28:24.470 --> 00:28:27.529 if you're unsure on who to vote for, unsure on 00:28:27.529 --> 00:28:31.029 who to support, then maybe think about, OK, well, 00:28:31.109 --> 00:28:34.240 maybe I'm not voting for me. Maybe I'm voting 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:36.180 for the voiceless or those that don't have the 00:28:36.180 --> 00:28:40.380 time or capacity to go to protests, to do the 00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:42.559 research because they're on the ground, like, 00:28:42.599 --> 00:28:45.539 doing the hard work, these carers, you know, 00:28:45.539 --> 00:28:48.259 or they are adults with learning disabilities 00:28:48.259 --> 00:28:50.259 that will never get to vote for their needs and 00:28:50.259 --> 00:28:52.640 actually it's really affecting them most. Maybe 00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:54.980 vote with them in mind instead. You know, if 00:28:54.980 --> 00:28:56.799 you're not sure, who would they want to vote 00:28:56.799 --> 00:28:58.660 for? And research in that way. You know, I'm 00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:00.619 not going to tell you who to vote for, but... 00:29:00.890 --> 00:29:02.309 If you're thinking with that in mind, then I 00:29:02.309 --> 00:29:05.309 would feel like you could, you know, sleep at 00:29:05.309 --> 00:29:08.029 night knowing that you've done a good thing for 00:29:08.029 --> 00:29:10.410 a really important community as part of our country. 00:29:10.950 --> 00:29:13.349 Does it surprise you how much people have got 00:29:13.349 --> 00:29:15.150 on board with their opinions on it? And does 00:29:15.150 --> 00:29:16.970 it surprise you how much they are, like, send 00:29:16.970 --> 00:29:19.029 kids are getting attacked? It shocks me. People 00:29:19.029 --> 00:29:22.170 are talking about it full stop, regardless of 00:29:22.170 --> 00:29:25.089 what, you know. position or opinion they've got 00:29:25.089 --> 00:29:27.369 it's good that it is in the main media is really 00:29:27.369 --> 00:29:29.769 like that never happened before it's good that 00:29:29.769 --> 00:29:31.210 people are talking about it because it gives 00:29:31.210 --> 00:29:35.150 the opportunity for them to hear my side and 00:29:35.150 --> 00:29:38.269 the sides of of those actual neurodivergent people 00:29:38.269 --> 00:29:41.529 autistic people adults with disabilities you 00:29:41.529 --> 00:29:43.769 know they're being heard they're being spoken 00:29:43.769 --> 00:29:46.819 to in main media it's really important The only 00:29:46.819 --> 00:29:48.380 problem with social media, though, is it ends 00:29:48.380 --> 00:29:50.440 up like an echo chamber. So you're only hearing 00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:54.099 what you are thinking and you're only hearing 00:29:54.099 --> 00:29:56.599 from people that have the same opinions of you. 00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:59.339 So for me and you being in this space, in this 00:29:59.339 --> 00:30:01.440 neuroaffirming, passionate space, we're probably 00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:04.140 hearing lots, you know, of things that make us 00:30:04.140 --> 00:30:06.319 either feel passionate against it or for it. 00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:08.869 We're hearing that. That's not the reality for 00:30:08.869 --> 00:30:11.349 lots of people. I actually had my Instagram go 00:30:11.349 --> 00:30:14.589 down for three months earlier this year and I 00:30:14.589 --> 00:30:17.490 started a new account to a backup account. And 00:30:17.490 --> 00:30:19.029 it was really interesting being on a brand new 00:30:19.029 --> 00:30:20.809 Instagram account that knew nothing about me. 00:30:20.950 --> 00:30:22.869 I was being fed so many different things that 00:30:22.869 --> 00:30:24.990 I never even saw. I never even knew people had 00:30:24.990 --> 00:30:27.450 these opinions. I never even knew that people 00:30:27.450 --> 00:30:30.089 were being fed these lies and they were really 00:30:30.089 --> 00:30:33.359 convincing. And that really worried me because 00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:35.859 I didn't see that. I was in my happy little bubble 00:30:35.859 --> 00:30:39.240 of passionate send parents and carers and teachers 00:30:39.240 --> 00:30:42.460 and advocates and allies and adults that were 00:30:42.460 --> 00:30:45.039 all saying the same thing. And all of a sudden 00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:47.279 I was being met with the reality that actually 00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:49.059 that's quite a minority that are thinking that 00:30:49.059 --> 00:30:52.339 honestly. And actually it just made me more passionate 00:30:52.339 --> 00:30:56.400 about making my voice louder and sharing to try 00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:58.559 and like burst that bubble so that those that 00:30:58.559 --> 00:31:01.450 actually need to hear it, hear it. And I don't 00:31:01.450 --> 00:31:03.190 know if I'm getting there, but, you know, between 00:31:03.190 --> 00:31:06.029 me and a lot of other accounts like ours, Nate, 00:31:06.190 --> 00:31:08.769 I really hope that some of them penetrate through 00:31:08.769 --> 00:31:11.289 to those that actually need to hear it and that 00:31:11.289 --> 00:31:15.029 hear how important this community is for our 00:31:15.029 --> 00:31:17.430 country. You know, I just think that that's ultimately 00:31:17.430 --> 00:31:19.369 what it comes down to. It's such an ableist view 00:31:19.369 --> 00:31:22.470 that these learners and these adults aren't valuable. 00:31:22.630 --> 00:31:26.930 And it's just simply not true. No. Different 00:31:26.930 --> 00:31:29.690 ways. And if we can share a little bit of that. 00:31:30.410 --> 00:31:33.349 then it might help. I hope it does. It's really 00:31:33.349 --> 00:31:35.329 crazy, isn't it? I'm very paranoid about algorithms 00:31:35.329 --> 00:31:38.170 anyway. So I know that they're manipulating me 00:31:38.170 --> 00:31:39.569 every time I watch one and I know it's my fault 00:31:39.569 --> 00:31:42.490 that it's there. But it still gets you, doesn't 00:31:42.490 --> 00:31:45.269 it? You are going to find videos that you want 00:31:45.269 --> 00:31:48.289 to watch and that opinion. So it was really weird 00:31:48.289 --> 00:31:50.990 for me when I went through this because mine 00:31:50.990 --> 00:31:52.970 was sort of set up on a comedy basis. So I did. 00:31:53.009 --> 00:31:55.809 I had the light heart of it. People kind of similar 00:31:55.809 --> 00:31:58.519 to me to say how it is day to day. The practical 00:31:58.519 --> 00:32:01.019 stuff, the words and stuff like that. Very lighthearted. 00:32:01.200 --> 00:32:04.640 I then had something go wrong with Calvin's school 00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:08.400 and it took me to a different place. What happened 00:32:08.400 --> 00:32:10.079 was, because I started writing about the school 00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:11.359 this and then I can't believe they've done that, 00:32:11.400 --> 00:32:12.880 blah, blah, blah. I then went into a following 00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:15.279 of, is that like petitions? And I went into a 00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:18.579 war and it was like... a very dark, horrible 00:32:18.579 --> 00:32:20.900 place of the internet that I didn't know existed 00:32:20.900 --> 00:32:22.500 where these people, either side of it, you've 00:32:22.500 --> 00:32:24.259 got people that, because it's just a fight, but 00:32:24.259 --> 00:32:26.180 it's so like, instead of like we have our, we 00:32:26.180 --> 00:32:28.099 get so used to the, like the agreement of our 00:32:28.099 --> 00:32:29.920 community, isn't it? That you don't realise that 00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:31.660 outside of that, you've got people just literally 00:32:31.660 --> 00:32:33.660 at war with each other. Yeah, it's so easy to 00:32:33.660 --> 00:32:36.460 think that 99 % of people are passionate about 00:32:36.460 --> 00:32:38.740 this community that feel the same that I do, 00:32:38.819 --> 00:32:40.740 that they're really important and really valuable 00:32:40.740 --> 00:32:43.559 and valued and loved. And, you know, and that 00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:46.839 isn't the reality, which is why. We're seeing 00:32:46.839 --> 00:32:48.960 what we're seeing in the media, in the mainstream 00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:51.880 media, because that isn't the reality. That isn't 00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:54.940 what the majority think. And it is up to us to 00:32:54.940 --> 00:32:59.079 voice that, you know, to combat the myths that 00:32:59.079 --> 00:33:01.660 just simply aren't true. I saw something the 00:33:01.660 --> 00:33:03.539 other day that said, oh, how come there's so 00:33:03.539 --> 00:33:07.119 many people with ADHD now? And then the answer 00:33:07.119 --> 00:33:09.380 was so perfect. It's by Dr. Jen on social media. 00:33:09.500 --> 00:33:11.359 The answer is so perfect. They said the same 00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:13.500 reason there was more stars when the telescopes 00:33:13.500 --> 00:33:18.160 were invented. We're just better at seeing it. 00:33:18.220 --> 00:33:21.380 We're better at recognizing ADHD in girls and 00:33:21.380 --> 00:33:23.960 boys that look different than the stereotypical. 00:33:24.059 --> 00:33:27.319 Same for autism. You know, that's why there's 00:33:27.319 --> 00:33:30.259 not more stars. They were always there. We can 00:33:30.259 --> 00:33:33.279 just see them more clearly. And that's the answer. 00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:36.319 And if we're saying that, if we're sharing that, 00:33:36.420 --> 00:33:39.519 if we're loaded with facts and research, evidence 00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:42.880 -based research to combat there. hateful opinions 00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:47.440 on this lovely amazing innocent community that 00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:48.980 haven't done anything they want nothing more 00:33:48.980 --> 00:33:51.039 than just their basic needs met too let's just 00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:54.259 say that you know their benefits cover not even 00:33:54.259 --> 00:33:57.059 their basic needs oh yeah you'd think we'd get 00:33:57.059 --> 00:33:59.730 policies from that It doesn't even scratch the 00:33:59.730 --> 00:34:02.529 sides of what their needs are. Talk to any SEND 00:34:02.529 --> 00:34:05.190 parent and they will say how expensive it is 00:34:05.190 --> 00:34:08.690 to be a carer of a child with disabilities. It 00:34:08.690 --> 00:34:11.030 doesn't scratch the sides. They will laugh at 00:34:11.030 --> 00:34:14.090 you if you think, if you even mention that they 00:34:14.090 --> 00:34:16.710 are making money from this. It is absurd. It 00:34:16.710 --> 00:34:20.940 is so not true. And it's just laughable that 00:34:20.940 --> 00:34:24.380 some people genuinely think that. Yeah, it is. 00:34:24.420 --> 00:34:26.320 And it's hard not to keep fighting that, isn't 00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:28.119 it? I stay away from my comment section in that 00:34:28.119 --> 00:34:29.900 sense. If it gets like a bit of a vile video, 00:34:30.139 --> 00:34:31.880 I don't, you know, I've already responded to 00:34:31.880 --> 00:34:33.539 the first like a lot of them. I don't, because 00:34:33.539 --> 00:34:35.599 they do, it gets you. And it does get you to 00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:37.239 believe anything that everyone thinks like that. 00:34:37.340 --> 00:34:40.320 And it's hard to remain in our bubble, isn't 00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:42.179 it, of what we're doing and then kind of hoping. 00:34:42.300 --> 00:34:43.980 And as I said, yours is even more amazing because 00:34:43.980 --> 00:34:46.480 I do go off the cusp. I do say things like sometimes 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:48.000 I get angry, sometimes it comes across where 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:50.170 yours is. very much so about look what we can 00:34:50.170 --> 00:34:52.250 achieve look what we can it's consistent i do 00:34:52.250 --> 00:34:55.289 i really do and and sometimes i question whether 00:34:55.289 --> 00:34:58.110 that's the right thing honestly if i should speak 00:34:58.110 --> 00:35:01.489 more and voice more because people will think 00:35:01.489 --> 00:35:03.809 maybe i'm complacent about some of these big 00:35:03.809 --> 00:35:05.789 issues so it's nice to be able to have the opportunity 00:35:05.789 --> 00:35:08.920 here to be on a long form format to be able to 00:35:08.920 --> 00:35:10.800 explain fully because in 90 seconds on a social 00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:13.460 media video you can't explain fully what you 00:35:13.460 --> 00:35:15.559 mean and in proper context and things so this 00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:17.260 is a really lovely opportunity to have actually 00:35:17.260 --> 00:35:21.059 but it's really again it's hard on social media 00:35:21.059 --> 00:35:24.500 to put that that opinion across in in 90 seconds 00:35:24.500 --> 00:35:27.039 in a full well -rounded well -researched way 00:35:27.039 --> 00:35:32.119 it isn't possible so i do tend to stick to sharing 00:35:32.119 --> 00:35:34.900 the love sharing the acceptance sharing the joy 00:35:34.900 --> 00:35:39.559 to try and bring up people with me rather than 00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:43.159 fear and also i think parents and teachers are 00:35:43.159 --> 00:35:48.500 constantly being bombarded with hate fear misunderstanding 00:35:48.500 --> 00:35:50.960 even the schools themselves and every time they 00:35:50.960 --> 00:35:52.420 pick up their child from school which i've had 00:35:52.420 --> 00:35:55.400 as well as foster carer they did this again they 00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:57.619 bit this person again you know they're constantly 00:35:57.619 --> 00:36:00.380 being told that their child isn't accepted and 00:36:00.380 --> 00:36:02.920 you know their needs aren't being met you know 00:36:02.920 --> 00:36:04.980 and they're not being understood constantly so 00:36:04.980 --> 00:36:07.969 i thought it might account can be the light on 00:36:07.969 --> 00:36:11.030 their phone that does understand their children, 00:36:11.130 --> 00:36:13.230 that does validate and celebrate their children, 00:36:13.409 --> 00:36:15.829 that understands the why, that is passionate 00:36:15.829 --> 00:36:19.929 about songs and colour and love and connection 00:36:19.929 --> 00:36:23.369 and co -regulation, all of those things. And 00:36:23.369 --> 00:36:26.630 I hope that it will give them some light to come 00:36:26.630 --> 00:36:29.590 to, a bit of light relief from the burden, not 00:36:29.590 --> 00:36:31.849 of their children, but of the burden of the failures 00:36:31.849 --> 00:36:34.710 of the system that doesn't understand their children. 00:36:35.369 --> 00:36:37.010 And that is what happened. And maybe that's why 00:36:37.010 --> 00:36:38.630 I grew so quick because all of a sudden people 00:36:38.630 --> 00:36:40.769 were like, oh, thank goodness. Something that 00:36:40.769 --> 00:36:43.050 I know I can scroll and not be triggered by. 00:36:43.210 --> 00:36:46.090 Something that I can scroll and just feel warm 00:36:46.090 --> 00:36:50.550 and love through the screen. And that isn't what 00:36:50.550 --> 00:36:52.730 I was looking for before I started the account. 00:36:52.829 --> 00:36:54.289 And I couldn't find it. There's lots of accounts 00:36:54.289 --> 00:36:55.949 that do it now. And over the last couple of years, 00:36:55.989 --> 00:36:58.210 I've seen a huge wealth of accounts come up. 00:36:58.250 --> 00:37:00.250 There's shops and accounts that have incredible 00:37:00.250 --> 00:37:02.590 communities. And maybe I just wasn't searching 00:37:02.590 --> 00:37:04.130 the right things. That's why I couldn't find 00:37:04.130 --> 00:37:07.389 them. there's incredible loving accepting communities 00:37:07.389 --> 00:37:09.349 there they're incredibly passionate about our 00:37:09.349 --> 00:37:12.090 community that are doing wonderful things you 00:37:12.090 --> 00:37:14.389 know it's definitely not just me there's there's 00:37:14.389 --> 00:37:16.889 a lot I would say that that could be your influence 00:37:16.889 --> 00:37:18.650 though so your influence has caused all these 00:37:18.650 --> 00:37:20.329 I would say so that it wasn't that it might not 00:37:20.329 --> 00:37:21.789 have been there you started it and you started 00:37:21.789 --> 00:37:23.590 and that's how good your influence is that you've 00:37:23.590 --> 00:37:25.389 influenced so many people now to have that outlook 00:37:25.389 --> 00:37:27.730 and to start showing it in that positive light 00:37:27.730 --> 00:37:30.469 yeah maybe I hope so or maybe it's the algorithm 00:37:30.469 --> 00:37:32.190 that is like feeding more of what I'm giving 00:37:32.190 --> 00:37:36.179 out I don't know but It certainly feels good 00:37:36.179 --> 00:37:40.539 to share good rather than the opposite. Because 00:37:40.539 --> 00:37:44.300 hate just breeds hate and yeah, love breeds love. 00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:46.539 And that is what I'm getting back. And I really 00:37:46.539 --> 00:37:48.880 don't see many negative comments. I certainly 00:37:48.880 --> 00:37:50.860 see people disagreeing with me and I'm always 00:37:50.860 --> 00:37:53.059 okay with that. I want that, you know, I want 00:37:53.059 --> 00:37:56.199 to educate people. Sometimes it's just ignorance 00:37:56.199 --> 00:37:57.900 and lack of understanding and training. It's 00:37:57.900 --> 00:38:00.760 not hate. So that's kind of the most I get really, 00:38:00.900 --> 00:38:03.849 which is nice. It protects me from that as well. 00:38:03.869 --> 00:38:06.090 This is a personal thing for me, being neurodivergent 00:38:06.090 --> 00:38:08.690 myself. I was failed at school too. Had an awful 00:38:08.690 --> 00:38:11.090 time at secondary school. As a neurodivergent 00:38:11.090 --> 00:38:14.250 woman that only got diagnosed in the mid -30s, 00:38:14.250 --> 00:38:16.070 you know, completely failed and misunderstood 00:38:16.070 --> 00:38:19.230 by the system as a whole. And in work placements 00:38:19.230 --> 00:38:21.050 even worse, actually, I would say than school. 00:38:21.230 --> 00:38:24.539 And I think lots of adults can share that. that 00:38:24.539 --> 00:38:28.099 complete misunderstanding and unfair parameters 00:38:28.099 --> 00:38:30.579 and unfair expectations on somebody that has 00:38:30.579 --> 00:38:33.920 a disability and has those needs. So it is personal, 00:38:34.019 --> 00:38:37.719 but also like I've loved like 600 kids with disabilities. 00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:40.099 So it's personal in that sense too, you know, 00:38:40.119 --> 00:38:44.099 I'm fighting them too. Yeah, no, it is good. 00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:46.079 And as I said, I've made a respect for you because 00:38:46.079 --> 00:38:47.659 it is the hardest way to grow an audience is 00:38:47.659 --> 00:38:49.559 by being that positive, shiny light. And it is, 00:38:49.579 --> 00:38:52.420 and I know that full well. And again, it put 00:38:52.420 --> 00:38:54.650 me back in a lane going over to the... things 00:38:54.650 --> 00:38:56.230 i went back to humor so i've just tried to assume 00:38:56.230 --> 00:38:58.150 i just reality just how it is without any too 00:38:58.150 --> 00:39:00.530 much thing about it and i feel so much safer 00:39:00.530 --> 00:39:02.309 as you said for the comment section that everything 00:39:02.309 --> 00:39:04.130 i'm not arguing or getting triggered and it's 00:39:04.130 --> 00:39:05.610 great that you kind of grow that community together 00:39:05.610 --> 00:39:08.469 isn't it like what with what have you found on 00:39:08.469 --> 00:39:11.110 social media like what i was surprised about 00:39:11.110 --> 00:39:15.009 was how many people are actually in crisis And 00:39:15.009 --> 00:39:16.989 that's real facts, isn't it? Like the statistics 00:39:16.989 --> 00:39:18.929 are out there. I don't think people realise. 00:39:19.230 --> 00:39:21.690 I know we all say it on social media, but it's 00:39:21.690 --> 00:39:23.409 different to people saying like influencing on 00:39:23.409 --> 00:39:25.449 social media. These are people that are never 00:39:25.449 --> 00:39:27.150 going to go on social media. And there is so 00:39:27.150 --> 00:39:29.429 many people in crisis that have a story. You 00:39:29.429 --> 00:39:31.389 can literally have millions. Like if you think 00:39:31.389 --> 00:39:33.070 there's enough, there's too many social media 00:39:33.070 --> 00:39:35.050 influencers at the moment, you're lucky. Because 00:39:35.050 --> 00:39:37.429 if every single parent that was going through 00:39:37.429 --> 00:39:38.829 something at the moment picked up their phone 00:39:38.829 --> 00:39:41.969 and started speaking about it, my God. Yeah. 00:39:42.090 --> 00:39:47.000 Yeah. Yeah, every class would have three in the 00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:49.800 whole of the world. And that's just dysregulation 00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:52.019 crisis I'm talking about. I'm not talking about 00:39:52.019 --> 00:39:54.360 not having their emotional needs met, not having 00:39:54.360 --> 00:39:57.860 their, like, not having a safe home to go back 00:39:57.860 --> 00:40:01.260 to. You know, yeah, it's a huge need. You know, 00:40:01.300 --> 00:40:04.800 if you could look at all of the, we use it as 00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:08.340 CPOMs, but like the trackers of... any behaviors 00:40:08.340 --> 00:40:11.639 or concerns around a child if you could see how 00:40:11.639 --> 00:40:15.840 many go in every day that are built up It's shocking. 00:40:16.019 --> 00:40:18.699 And as a foster carer as well, we used to get 00:40:18.699 --> 00:40:21.500 eight referrals a day for different children 00:40:21.500 --> 00:40:25.400 if we could take them. Eight a day. We were on 00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:27.900 the outskirts of London at that time. So maybe 00:40:27.900 --> 00:40:29.659 that's why it was more. But I don't think so. 00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.880 I think that's nationwide. There's eight children 00:40:32.880 --> 00:40:35.199 that are needing an emergency place because they 00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:38.119 are not safe in the house that they are in. And 00:40:38.119 --> 00:40:40.320 they don't take children away easily. It takes 00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:45.369 a long time to be brought to foster care. And 00:40:45.369 --> 00:40:47.190 there is, you know, in crisis, you know, there 00:40:47.190 --> 00:40:49.489 are so many in crisis. There are teachers in 00:40:49.489 --> 00:40:51.429 crisis that are really passionate about their 00:40:51.429 --> 00:40:53.809 job, that worked really hard to get the career 00:40:53.809 --> 00:40:55.750 they've got, that are leaving. And there were 00:40:55.750 --> 00:40:58.150 stats this week, actually, that the teachers 00:40:58.150 --> 00:41:01.489 leaving are aged between 25 and 35 and are mainly 00:41:01.489 --> 00:41:04.190 women. And lots of it was around maternity leave 00:41:04.190 --> 00:41:06.230 and questioning that. But also it's about burnout. 00:41:06.289 --> 00:41:08.630 You know, you can only love and be passionate 00:41:08.630 --> 00:41:12.650 for so long and see it fail over and over and 00:41:12.650 --> 00:41:15.219 over again and not get anywhere. Without ultimately 00:41:15.219 --> 00:41:17.739 just thinking, I can't do this anymore. There's 00:41:17.739 --> 00:41:21.420 only so much fight that we've got. And when you're 00:41:21.420 --> 00:41:23.159 working in a failing system that's not changing, 00:41:23.219 --> 00:41:25.199 it's only getting worse. It's really hard to 00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:28.619 keep the motivation to carry on. Yeah, I can 00:41:28.619 --> 00:41:31.300 imagine. It is no short of, I can imagine how 00:41:31.300 --> 00:41:33.559 hard it is being a teacher, let alone now with 00:41:33.559 --> 00:41:35.079 this. And that's just without a sense. So just 00:41:35.079 --> 00:41:37.280 as a teacher, as it was, from what I know, from 00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:38.960 what I've heard from teachers, the pressure, 00:41:39.079 --> 00:41:40.820 the expectation, the fact that you don't, especially 00:41:40.820 --> 00:41:42.869 in mainstream, when you have little... to no 00:41:42.869 --> 00:41:44.730 freedom to change anything you want to. And you 00:41:44.730 --> 00:41:46.489 could also get, you put your job at risk for 00:41:46.489 --> 00:41:49.650 appeasing, send kids. There's lots of politics 00:41:49.650 --> 00:41:52.969 to it, isn't it? And I see a lot of the same 00:41:52.969 --> 00:41:57.210 of parents that are, when they first get, I spoke 00:41:57.210 --> 00:42:00.710 to a head teacher of a school, not, I don't mind 00:42:00.710 --> 00:42:02.530 the podcast, but it wasn't her. I don't want 00:42:02.530 --> 00:42:03.869 to fire her out to make it, it wasn't that one, 00:42:03.929 --> 00:42:06.150 but I spoke to another head teacher and she was 00:42:06.150 --> 00:42:08.070 very naive to the fact and thought we was kind 00:42:08.070 --> 00:42:10.550 of like being on like problematic. And then her 00:42:10.550 --> 00:42:13.929 daughter. had send needs and she could not and 00:42:13.929 --> 00:42:15.829 still doesn't and makes it a mission now to make 00:42:15.829 --> 00:42:18.409 sure that everyone knows at high level how bad 00:42:18.409 --> 00:42:20.789 it is and she just couldn't believe it and she 00:42:20.789 --> 00:42:23.210 said that it just seems when you're hearing it 00:42:23.210 --> 00:42:26.400 it just seems so unreal And so you just, you 00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:28.420 can't process it. It's a bit like, you know, 00:42:28.420 --> 00:42:30.179 any major event when you like, you kind of know 00:42:30.179 --> 00:42:32.119 it, like, like one of the world wars, you kind 00:42:32.119 --> 00:42:33.440 of read it in books, but you don't actually, 00:42:33.500 --> 00:42:35.079 it wasn't there. So you don't actually know how 00:42:35.079 --> 00:42:37.579 horrific that was. Like, it's almost like. It's 00:42:37.579 --> 00:42:39.380 really sad, isn't it? Because actually the reality 00:42:39.380 --> 00:42:42.739 is if these learners and children were supported 00:42:42.739 --> 00:42:46.139 properly, there would be no crisis. It's not 00:42:46.139 --> 00:42:48.880 because of the children. It's because of their 00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:52.000 needs or disabilities or how they communicate 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:55.440 or how they interact with the world. It isn't 00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:58.539 on them at all. It is through the failures of 00:42:58.539 --> 00:43:02.739 the county, the budgets, the education system, 00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:05.699 the medical care system, the therapists. It's 00:43:05.699 --> 00:43:08.380 failures of the entire system around this child 00:43:08.380 --> 00:43:11.920 and their families as to why they're in crisis. 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:15.340 It is nothing to do with. The child, you know, 00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:18.139 with the right budgets and resources, these children 00:43:18.139 --> 00:43:20.719 would be thriving in education and in every other 00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:24.579 sector. Without doubt, you know, I've worked, 00:43:24.619 --> 00:43:26.500 like I said, I've worked with 600 children, probably 00:43:26.500 --> 00:43:28.440 more now. I worked that out a couple of years 00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:31.940 ago. And that's not including my social media, 00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:34.219 you know. I've reached a lot of families. And 00:43:34.219 --> 00:43:36.820 I've never worked with one child that doesn't 00:43:36.820 --> 00:43:39.880 want to learn, want to communicate, want to play, 00:43:39.980 --> 00:43:42.519 want to build relationships ultimately. They're 00:43:42.519 --> 00:43:45.440 just being failed in every way. And families 00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:47.239 are being failed too. Yeah, so I want to make 00:43:47.239 --> 00:43:48.440 that really clear that when we're talking about 00:43:48.440 --> 00:43:51.260 crisis, it isn't crisis because they're disabled. 00:43:52.129 --> 00:43:55.250 It is bad because they've been failed. And as 00:43:55.250 --> 00:43:57.329 you said, every step they're getting failed, 00:43:57.429 --> 00:43:59.369 aren't they? Do you think, what do you think 00:43:59.369 --> 00:44:00.969 caused this? Because I've got like a theory that, 00:44:01.050 --> 00:44:03.030 it's a kind of happy theory because it's better 00:44:03.030 --> 00:44:04.250 than the one that they're doing it deliberately, 00:44:04.349 --> 00:44:08.170 but that they just underestimated how many children. 00:44:08.329 --> 00:44:10.369 So one, I think when it first come out, autism, 00:44:10.449 --> 00:44:12.710 and especially because when I worked, going up 00:44:12.710 --> 00:44:15.230 the years in care and working in schools, I think 00:44:15.230 --> 00:44:17.130 autism was tied to a learning disability. And 00:44:17.130 --> 00:44:20.219 I think they thought. autism was just learning 00:44:20.219 --> 00:44:21.639 disability. And if without learning disability, 00:44:21.820 --> 00:44:23.079 there'll be no such thing as autism. So they 00:44:23.079 --> 00:44:25.179 had a Spurges, didn't they? They kind of justified 00:44:25.179 --> 00:44:28.380 that, but they didn't really. So with ADHD, it 00:44:28.380 --> 00:44:31.300 was boys and there was no such thing as adult 00:44:31.300 --> 00:44:33.579 ADHD and there was no such thing as girls. And 00:44:33.579 --> 00:44:35.059 they're going back on all of this and realizing 00:44:35.059 --> 00:44:37.219 that it's through families. I've just done a 00:44:37.219 --> 00:44:40.159 video today. If you've got a kid with SEND, the 00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:42.840 chances of one of the parents having it is 94%. 00:44:44.199 --> 00:44:45.900 That seems and seems what we're in now, isn't 00:44:45.900 --> 00:44:47.460 it? As you said about the middle type of people, 00:44:47.539 --> 00:44:49.699 that means that we're missing a whole lot of 00:44:49.699 --> 00:44:52.599 people. When I first started teaching, even the 00:44:52.599 --> 00:44:55.539 National Autistic Society said one in 100 were 00:44:55.539 --> 00:44:58.980 autistic. Jesus. Where I don't know what the 00:44:58.980 --> 00:45:01.039 National Autistic Society say now, but I've seen 00:45:01.039 --> 00:45:03.039 evidence based research to suggest it's more 00:45:03.039 --> 00:45:07.780 like one in four. And I just find that really 00:45:07.780 --> 00:45:10.380 interesting. You know, that's a huge change in 00:45:10.380 --> 00:45:13.539 just 16 years, maybe even in the last five years. 00:45:13.659 --> 00:45:15.500 But yeah, definitely in 16 years, I remember 00:45:15.500 --> 00:45:19.139 those. And again, it's like the stars in the 00:45:19.139 --> 00:45:20.800 telescope. It's not that they weren't always 00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:23.769 there. It's just they weren't. You weren't seeing, 00:45:23.849 --> 00:45:25.150 was it? As I said, you wasn't looking for them. 00:45:25.250 --> 00:45:28.230 So if you're not looking for that... ADHD looks 00:45:28.230 --> 00:45:29.829 like in women and adults. And when we understand 00:45:29.829 --> 00:45:32.889 what autism can look like in this huge... I mean, 00:45:32.929 --> 00:45:35.530 autism is such a huge umbrella that covers such 00:45:35.530 --> 00:45:39.710 a huge, wide range of needs and experiences that 00:45:39.710 --> 00:45:42.489 the more we understand about what that looks 00:45:42.489 --> 00:45:45.389 like, the more also, I think maybe, the better 00:45:45.389 --> 00:45:49.190 we have technology and understanding to support. 00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:52.079 these learners communicate they're now becoming 00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:56.119 adults so we're 10 years into augmentative and 00:45:56.119 --> 00:45:58.400 alternative methods of communication for these 00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:00.139 adults that wouldn't have necessarily had a voice 00:46:00.139 --> 00:46:03.719 before they're able to tell us what their experiences 00:46:03.719 --> 00:46:06.820 are we're learning from them therefore our understanding 00:46:06.820 --> 00:46:09.519 is deepening, broadening, becoming richer, which 00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:12.639 is great because people are understanding themselves 00:46:12.639 --> 00:46:15.139 so much better. I certainly understood myself 00:46:15.139 --> 00:46:17.719 so much better when I received that report. And 00:46:17.719 --> 00:46:21.139 so did my family. I was always loved and supported 00:46:21.139 --> 00:46:23.960 by my family, but it made a big difference having 00:46:23.960 --> 00:46:26.019 that report. It's not necessarily even about 00:46:26.019 --> 00:46:27.599 the label, although that's really important because 00:46:27.599 --> 00:46:30.460 that opens doors too. But just having that validation 00:46:30.460 --> 00:46:33.579 from a professional to say, this is why you struggle 00:46:33.579 --> 00:46:35.440 in these areas. This is why you thrive in these 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:37.699 areas. This is the support. you need it was really 00:46:37.699 --> 00:46:40.760 helpful to share that with my family and my friends 00:46:40.760 --> 00:46:44.300 and and work so that I was understood and I found 00:46:44.300 --> 00:46:46.920 that really helpful so the more and I definitely 00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:49.119 would have been diagnosed 10 years ago it wasn't 00:46:49.119 --> 00:46:52.320 understood at all so I think those yeah as we're 00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:54.679 understanding what it actually looks like and 00:46:54.679 --> 00:46:58.739 what the impact of that can be on a person then 00:46:58.739 --> 00:47:01.699 we're gonna see more people with this diagnosis 00:47:01.699 --> 00:47:04.800 and we're gonna see more people needing support 00:47:05.649 --> 00:47:07.929 Yeah, I'd like to say we've already won. So as 00:47:07.929 --> 00:47:10.449 you said, it went from 1 to 100 to 1 to 4. And 00:47:10.449 --> 00:47:11.670 I'd like to say that they've understood it so 00:47:11.670 --> 00:47:13.250 much that there's three quarters of us, or at 00:47:13.250 --> 00:47:15.690 least half. I'll take half. I'll take half of 00:47:15.690 --> 00:47:17.690 the classroom, them having to say half the people 00:47:17.690 --> 00:47:19.210 in the room have got it now. Yeah, it's really 00:47:19.210 --> 00:47:20.530 interesting, isn't it? Because that was just 00:47:20.530 --> 00:47:22.909 autism. So yeah, talking about neurodivergence. 00:47:22.909 --> 00:47:24.610 If you're talking about SEND in a whole, you're 00:47:24.610 --> 00:47:27.389 very close to one half of a classroom, aren't 00:47:27.389 --> 00:47:29.369 you? I don't know the figures, but it would be 00:47:29.369 --> 00:47:31.130 likely, wouldn't it? And also then talking about 00:47:31.130 --> 00:47:34.389 emotional regulation needs, support at home needs, 00:47:34.630 --> 00:47:37.130 you know. If you could do all of them, I'd pretty 00:47:37.130 --> 00:47:38.449 much say, yeah, because I think it's an average 00:47:38.449 --> 00:47:40.889 about, in all SEND needs, I think it's about 00:47:40.889 --> 00:47:43.800 a quarter of a class now. it could be like dyslexia 00:47:43.800 --> 00:47:45.519 and stuff like that i think teachers would agree 00:47:45.519 --> 00:47:48.860 with half have some emotional support need kind 00:47:48.860 --> 00:47:51.719 of trauma need or ascend diagnosis or both yeah 00:47:51.719 --> 00:47:53.880 teachers certainly in my mainstream school i've 00:47:53.880 --> 00:47:55.360 been just been attached to was really eye -opening 00:47:55.360 --> 00:47:57.019 because i'd spent 10 years in special education 00:47:57.019 --> 00:47:59.340 not really knowing or understanding what was 00:47:59.340 --> 00:48:00.940 really happening in mainstream just thinking 00:48:00.940 --> 00:48:03.599 that we had all the all of them with us it was 00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:06.239 so eye -opening and i'm really pleased i had 00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:08.059 that experience being attached to a mainstream 00:48:08.059 --> 00:48:11.880 school to really see We absolutely didn't. There 00:48:11.880 --> 00:48:15.059 is so much need in mainstream, not just disability, 00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:18.420 not just STEM, but yeah, huge emotional need, 00:48:18.539 --> 00:48:22.199 huge anxiety, lots of trauma around education, 00:48:22.280 --> 00:48:25.719 but also around families and early experiences. 00:48:26.340 --> 00:48:28.980 Teachers are wearing a hell of a lot of hats. 00:48:29.099 --> 00:48:31.739 And I feel like the education system isn't just 00:48:31.739 --> 00:48:34.500 the ones that have less budget. You know, it 00:48:34.500 --> 00:48:38.369 is therapists, it is social care, it is... you 00:48:38.369 --> 00:48:41.889 know, nursing and hospitals. And I feel like 00:48:41.889 --> 00:48:45.269 teachers are wearing the weight of that because 00:48:45.269 --> 00:48:46.989 they're seeing day to day. So they're having 00:48:46.989 --> 00:48:49.309 to put on those hats. They're having to be occupational 00:48:49.309 --> 00:48:51.070 therapists and speech and language therapists 00:48:51.070 --> 00:48:54.730 and physios and nurses and social carers and 00:48:54.730 --> 00:48:57.929 therapists and counselors. And they're having 00:48:57.929 --> 00:49:00.530 to be all of these, and parents sometimes, they're 00:49:00.530 --> 00:49:02.710 having to be all of these different people for 00:49:02.710 --> 00:49:04.369 these children just to get through the day before 00:49:04.369 --> 00:49:06.269 they've even worn their teacher hat. Because 00:49:06.269 --> 00:49:08.780 how could you teach a child? old. that doesn't 00:49:08.780 --> 00:49:10.960 have their basic needs met. I feel like that's 00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:13.300 the real crisis. Talk about crisis. That's what 00:49:13.300 --> 00:49:15.639 the real crisis in schools right now is that 00:49:15.639 --> 00:49:17.360 teachers aren't able to do their job. And same 00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:19.679 for parents. Parents are having to, and I saw 00:49:19.679 --> 00:49:21.460 this as a foster carer. As a foster carer, I 00:49:21.460 --> 00:49:24.320 couldn't just be a parent. He didn't have a social 00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:26.980 worker for 12 weeks. So I was a social worker. 00:49:27.059 --> 00:49:29.559 I'm fighting his needs there. I was his education 00:49:29.559 --> 00:49:31.960 because he wasn't in school because they expelled 00:49:31.960 --> 00:49:35.300 him. I was his parent. I was his foster carer. 00:49:35.420 --> 00:49:36.880 I was his friend. He didn't have any friends 00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:38.900 because he wasn't in school. I was wearing so 00:49:38.900 --> 00:49:42.280 many hats whilst doing so much admin. That was 00:49:42.280 --> 00:49:46.420 a huge eye -opener to how much carers have to 00:49:46.420 --> 00:49:49.559 manage and have to hold. Again, that's why they're 00:49:49.559 --> 00:49:52.219 in crisis. If they were able to just do the role 00:49:52.219 --> 00:49:55.380 of a parent, and I say just very, very lightly 00:49:55.380 --> 00:49:58.280 because it is not a just, but if they could just 00:49:58.280 --> 00:50:01.519 wear that parent hat, we wouldn't see as much 00:50:01.519 --> 00:50:04.960 burnout. They would absolutely thrive. The kids 00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:07.440 would thrive because they were... being supported 00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:10.519 by all the people that are trained to and is 00:50:10.519 --> 00:50:14.059 their job to do all those other roles. But ultimately, 00:50:14.199 --> 00:50:16.940 what we're seeing is teachers and parents are 00:50:16.940 --> 00:50:21.639 having to hold everybody else. And that's only 00:50:21.639 --> 00:50:24.900 getting worse. And those that are putting in 00:50:24.900 --> 00:50:27.719 that work of teachers that are putting in that 00:50:27.719 --> 00:50:29.320 extra work are the ones that are burning out 00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:31.670 first. And they're the ones that are leaving 00:50:31.670 --> 00:50:33.929 the career. And ultimately that's going to end 00:50:33.929 --> 00:50:37.050 up with lots of newly qualified, but not very 00:50:37.050 --> 00:50:39.989 much experienced teachers that are still passionate, 00:50:40.070 --> 00:50:42.110 but don't have maybe that as much experience 00:50:42.110 --> 00:50:45.789 or teachers that have learned coping strategies 00:50:45.789 --> 00:50:48.670 to not care as much. And it happens really, and 00:50:48.670 --> 00:50:52.179 that's no judgment. You cannot do. The job like 00:50:52.179 --> 00:50:55.079 that, if you care about every single people and 00:50:55.079 --> 00:50:57.019 every single thing, it will burn you out. It 00:50:57.019 --> 00:50:58.900 isn't sustainable. And I noticed it as a foster 00:50:58.900 --> 00:51:01.000 carer as well. You know, when I said I was getting 00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:04.099 eight referrals a day coming through. At first, 00:51:04.099 --> 00:51:06.420 I was reading every single one. I was imagining 00:51:06.420 --> 00:51:08.579 them and I was imagining in my home and I was 00:51:08.579 --> 00:51:10.619 loving them. And there wasn't even a picture. 00:51:10.679 --> 00:51:12.000 There wasn't even their name on there. It was 00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:13.760 literally just the initials on printed white 00:51:13.760 --> 00:51:15.420 paper. And I was falling in love with all of 00:51:15.420 --> 00:51:17.639 these children saying, yes, yes, yes. After two 00:51:17.639 --> 00:51:20.400 weeks of doing that, I became disassociated because 00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:23.179 your heart cannot work like that. It is not sustainable. 00:51:23.559 --> 00:51:26.380 I would notice certain words on there and I would 00:51:26.380 --> 00:51:31.280 say no. Because you cannot care to that level 00:51:31.280 --> 00:51:33.719 and carry on the job. And that's what teachers 00:51:33.719 --> 00:51:35.340 are finding. That's what social workers are finding. 00:51:35.400 --> 00:51:37.079 That's what nurses are finding. It's what therapists 00:51:37.079 --> 00:51:40.539 are finding. It is unsustainable to care the 00:51:40.539 --> 00:51:42.719 amount that needs to be cared for. And then ultimately, 00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:45.280 those teachers leave. And that helped me make 00:51:45.280 --> 00:51:47.780 my decision as well because... I was just seeing 00:51:47.780 --> 00:51:49.980 failure after failure after failure. And it's 00:51:49.980 --> 00:51:53.739 really hard to carry on fighting when you can 00:51:53.739 --> 00:51:56.579 see a failing system and not feel like you're 00:51:56.579 --> 00:51:58.280 doing anything about it. And I think that was 00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:00.960 also another reason why I started my business 00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:03.840 because I was helping 10 children. Great. There 00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:05.940 are 10 children in my class. There's 10 families. 00:52:06.059 --> 00:52:09.280 They were thriving. We were doing great. But 00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:12.739 it was such a tiny drop in the ocean of failure. 00:52:13.159 --> 00:52:16.099 Whereas now I can reach thousands of, hundreds 00:52:16.099 --> 00:52:18.440 of thousands of families all over the world and 00:52:18.440 --> 00:52:20.179 maybe make more difference and that kind of have 00:52:20.179 --> 00:52:23.280 that ripple effect. I feel as my legacy as a 00:52:23.280 --> 00:52:25.239 teacher, a really passionate teacher, I'm making 00:52:25.239 --> 00:52:28.960 far more impact in this way, even if it's diluted 00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:31.219 on screen and through social media, rather than 00:52:31.219 --> 00:52:34.699 those 10 in my company. There's no doubt you 00:52:34.699 --> 00:52:37.019 can do either. Both are really important jobs. 00:52:37.219 --> 00:52:39.219 It's just that's the decision I made for myself 00:52:39.219 --> 00:52:43.679 to feel like I was having a part to play in helping 00:52:43.679 --> 00:52:47.539 this huge issue. Absolutely. I had to kind of 00:52:47.539 --> 00:52:49.480 balance that as well with when I started it to 00:52:49.480 --> 00:52:51.119 go to support and out to community. That's very 00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:53.079 much the intentional reasoning for that because 00:52:53.079 --> 00:52:55.179 I couldn't support everyone and I felt like I 00:52:55.179 --> 00:52:57.550 had to. Yeah. Like when I asked her who needs 00:52:57.550 --> 00:52:59.409 support. That's a neurodivergent thing too. That's 00:52:59.409 --> 00:53:02.469 an ADHD thing too. Your major empath is a big 00:53:02.469 --> 00:53:06.030 part of our makeup and you can't. Right. And 00:53:06.030 --> 00:53:08.849 then I kept beating myself up. And then I eventually 00:53:08.849 --> 00:53:10.329 get angry at everyone else because I'm like, 00:53:10.369 --> 00:53:12.130 what do you expect me to do? And it was really, 00:53:12.170 --> 00:53:13.550 really toxic because I was doing it and taking 00:53:13.550 --> 00:53:15.030 up all the things. And I've realized now to put 00:53:15.030 --> 00:53:17.050 the community in, do the life support, give the 00:53:17.050 --> 00:53:18.489 offerings for everybody else to go there. And 00:53:18.489 --> 00:53:20.889 it's really shamed. It's true. You do have to. 00:53:21.480 --> 00:53:24.079 And this is where I think parents go wrong with 00:53:24.079 --> 00:53:26.119 their children. You have to privatise yourself 00:53:26.119 --> 00:53:29.119 at some point. It's easier said than done. Yeah. 00:53:29.239 --> 00:53:31.440 I would have said the same before being a foster 00:53:31.440 --> 00:53:34.239 carer, but if I hadn't have done those other 00:53:34.239 --> 00:53:36.940 jobs, I'd definitely put myself last, like, by 00:53:36.940 --> 00:53:40.179 a long way, which is why we ended up, you know, 00:53:40.280 --> 00:53:43.000 him having to move on. Like, ultimately, like, 00:53:43.099 --> 00:53:45.840 he had nothing there. Nobody else was going to 00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:47.860 do those things. Nobody else was keeping him 00:53:47.860 --> 00:53:50.139 safe. Nobody else was educating him. Nobody else 00:53:50.139 --> 00:53:52.090 was... you know, teaching him these things. It 00:53:52.090 --> 00:53:54.690 had to be us. So yes, of course, in an ideal 00:53:54.690 --> 00:53:56.730 world, I would have been his parent and I would 00:53:56.730 --> 00:53:58.170 have thrived and we'd have stayed together and 00:53:58.170 --> 00:54:00.230 all of those things. But that just isn't, it 00:54:00.230 --> 00:54:02.869 just, we were being failed in so many catastrophic 00:54:02.869 --> 00:54:05.789 ways that that was just not a reality for us. 00:54:05.889 --> 00:54:08.190 And that's the same for so many, so many other 00:54:08.190 --> 00:54:11.389 parents. It's hard. What I see is as well, that 00:54:11.389 --> 00:54:13.489 they kind of, it's remembering that you're a 00:54:13.489 --> 00:54:15.130 person too. And that's what I'm, the work I'm 00:54:15.130 --> 00:54:16.510 doing at the moment is to kind of that as well, 00:54:16.570 --> 00:54:20.360 is them hard boundaries, isn't it? what fights 00:54:20.360 --> 00:54:22.079 and that's horrible as well even because you 00:54:22.079 --> 00:54:23.800 want to find more like what what bit of fights 00:54:23.800 --> 00:54:25.840 are to time you're going to rest and recover 00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:28.900 and you end up let's be realistic we don't balance 00:54:28.900 --> 00:54:31.139 it out with neurodivergency you don't you do 00:54:31.139 --> 00:54:33.420 everything is the emergency and you end up doing 00:54:33.420 --> 00:54:36.820 everything for a huge amount of time and and 00:54:36.820 --> 00:54:38.900 just the way of i was saying it the other day 00:54:38.900 --> 00:54:40.420 was talking about just if you ever fall out of 00:54:40.420 --> 00:54:42.880 a teacher like or a bad relationship the anxiety 00:54:42.880 --> 00:54:45.239 and the effort and the emotions that both of 00:54:45.239 --> 00:54:48.219 you will have five days a week It was incredible. 00:54:48.300 --> 00:54:49.800 Without anything else, just in case there's an 00:54:49.800 --> 00:54:51.719 email or a phone call or the conversations you're 00:54:51.719 --> 00:54:53.519 about to have. And it's exhausting. And you're 00:54:53.519 --> 00:54:55.280 doing that for like a whole year at least because 00:54:55.280 --> 00:54:56.860 of the relationship with one teacher. If it's 00:54:56.860 --> 00:54:58.760 a school, oh my God, you're doing that for like, 00:54:58.840 --> 00:55:01.980 God, 10 years? I guess the answer is that if 00:55:01.980 --> 00:55:05.230 anyone's listening to this. and isn't in the 00:55:05.230 --> 00:55:07.989 absolute burnout pits of it all right now, but 00:55:07.989 --> 00:55:10.429 has the passion to support somebody, then reach 00:55:10.429 --> 00:55:12.690 out to a friend that might be, reach out to a 00:55:12.690 --> 00:55:14.389 teacher that might be, reach out to a parent 00:55:14.389 --> 00:55:16.429 that might be, and just see what you can hold 00:55:16.429 --> 00:55:19.670 for them so that they can, so it's even possible 00:55:19.670 --> 00:55:22.429 to, that they can think about themselves for 00:55:22.429 --> 00:55:26.070 10 minutes, half an hour, an hour. That might 00:55:26.070 --> 00:55:28.010 make it possible. And if we're all holding each 00:55:28.010 --> 00:55:30.269 other, then maybe that would make it more realistic. 00:55:31.279 --> 00:55:33.840 Yeah, it's the community, isn't it? But I think 00:55:33.840 --> 00:55:35.500 the more the community we've got and make them 00:55:35.500 --> 00:55:38.699 safe spaces for us to go out in like a setting 00:55:38.699 --> 00:55:40.320 or even to communicate with each other, to kind 00:55:40.320 --> 00:55:42.219 of loosen around, it kind of helps. And you do 00:55:42.219 --> 00:55:43.780 kind of pick it up there as well, isn't it? Like 00:55:43.780 --> 00:55:45.880 you kind of help each other through behaviours, 00:55:45.880 --> 00:55:47.300 you help each other through a lot. I think the 00:55:47.300 --> 00:55:49.280 community is something that you can't, it's the 00:55:49.280 --> 00:55:51.000 one thing that all of this has created that's 00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:54.619 amazing. It's the one thing that it's just the 00:55:54.619 --> 00:55:56.320 silver lining and a half is the community, the 00:55:56.320 --> 00:55:58.519 same community. I just said that us two linking 00:55:58.519 --> 00:56:01.199 up, it's very forthcoming and people do want 00:56:01.199 --> 00:56:02.480 to help. And when you have got a passion like 00:56:02.480 --> 00:56:04.079 you have and stuff like that, you will just help. 00:56:04.280 --> 00:56:06.099 Like you said, now you're helping hundreds of 00:56:06.099 --> 00:56:07.900 thousands of people. I really didn't need much 00:56:07.900 --> 00:56:11.360 to feel supported. It didn't take much. It took 00:56:11.360 --> 00:56:13.539 one of our friends coming over and playing PlayStation 00:56:13.539 --> 00:56:16.599 with our child just so that I could do the washing 00:56:16.599 --> 00:56:18.059 up, like put the washing up and do the boring 00:56:18.059 --> 00:56:20.679 stuff and like just feel a bit of relief from 00:56:20.679 --> 00:56:22.900 that like constant. pressure to be everybody 00:56:22.900 --> 00:56:26.280 sometimes it's that it really doesn't have to 00:56:26.280 --> 00:56:30.099 be a big major fix or job sometimes just being 00:56:30.099 --> 00:56:32.900 present sometimes just loving the child as well 00:56:32.900 --> 00:56:38.050 as the parent Yeah, exactly. So it is incredibly 00:56:38.050 --> 00:56:40.829 helpful. I'm really grateful that I've had the 00:56:40.829 --> 00:56:42.289 experience that I've had through foster care 00:56:42.289 --> 00:56:44.250 because I definitely would be quite ignorant 00:56:44.250 --> 00:56:48.630 to the weight and role of the parent and the 00:56:48.630 --> 00:56:52.510 carer in this space. And it's a privilege to 00:56:52.510 --> 00:56:55.789 have dipped my toe into that world to have a 00:56:55.789 --> 00:56:57.349 little bit more understanding of the reality 00:56:57.349 --> 00:57:01.409 of, yeah, the burnout and the weight of fighting 00:57:01.409 --> 00:57:04.820 for their right. I've heard it's hard. I've had 00:57:04.820 --> 00:57:08.000 a couple of foster carers and it is your life, 00:57:08.039 --> 00:57:11.460 isn't it? Your goal is to make it a normal family 00:57:11.460 --> 00:57:13.579 and everything in that process makes it not a 00:57:13.579 --> 00:57:14.980 normal family in the sense of all the reports, 00:57:15.280 --> 00:57:17.699 all of the things you have to fill out. It's 00:57:17.699 --> 00:57:21.119 so sad to see, especially when you've got a good 00:57:21.119 --> 00:57:23.119 family, like I'm sure you was, when you walk 00:57:23.119 --> 00:57:24.699 in there and it is like they're not foster kids. 00:57:25.139 --> 00:57:26.860 And then you have to do stuff like treat them 00:57:26.860 --> 00:57:28.579 like foster kids in these meetings and talk to 00:57:28.579 --> 00:57:31.650 them about it. It's so hard. ask permission for 00:57:31.650 --> 00:57:34.889 haircuts you know like you're reminded it was 00:57:34.889 --> 00:57:37.570 a huge fight to get passport for him taken to 00:57:37.570 --> 00:57:41.070 Disneyland like like it took months of fighting 00:57:41.070 --> 00:57:44.130 for that so yeah you're constantly reminded yeah 00:57:44.130 --> 00:57:46.829 of those things but it's an incredible role and 00:57:46.829 --> 00:57:48.829 if you are interested in foster care or respite 00:57:48.829 --> 00:57:50.889 care then always reach out to me because I'm 00:57:50.889 --> 00:57:53.269 incredibly passionate about it it's a really 00:57:53.269 --> 00:57:55.630 amazing thing to do even if you're just doing 00:57:55.630 --> 00:57:58.409 it short term you know it's i mean short term 00:57:58.409 --> 00:58:00.369 i don't underestimate what short term would do 00:58:00.369 --> 00:58:02.849 i know from the respite is needed like even if 00:58:02.849 --> 00:58:04.849 you could just do something you don't think about 00:58:04.849 --> 00:58:08.010 full commitment that is madly under like that 00:58:08.010 --> 00:58:10.110 would help so many people i think people go to 00:58:10.110 --> 00:58:12.389 tears being offered respite some foster parents 00:58:12.389 --> 00:58:14.630 wouldn't know we needed so ironically we were 00:58:14.630 --> 00:58:16.989 respite fester carers but we needed respite from 00:58:16.989 --> 00:58:18.710 our long -term placement and i know how valuable 00:58:18.710 --> 00:58:20.809 that would have been just a weekend yeah we had 00:58:20.809 --> 00:58:23.389 two weekends across the year and it just meant 00:58:23.389 --> 00:58:26.590 that we could be the parents that he needed us 00:58:26.590 --> 00:58:28.289 to be when he came back and he had a great time 00:58:28.289 --> 00:58:31.730 too like respite is so fun and so fantastic it's 00:58:31.730 --> 00:58:34.570 a really great way of of supporting again being 00:58:34.570 --> 00:58:36.809 if you've got something to give you can support 00:58:36.809 --> 00:58:40.239 that that community or, yeah, offering respite 00:58:40.239 --> 00:58:42.420 to your friend. And respite doesn't have to look 00:58:42.420 --> 00:58:44.659 like overnight care because sometimes that's 00:58:44.659 --> 00:58:46.860 not appropriate or possible. It can literally 00:58:46.860 --> 00:58:48.900 look like watching a TV program with the child 00:58:48.900 --> 00:58:51.400 or playing on the iPad with the child so that 00:58:51.400 --> 00:58:53.360 the parent can have a hot cup of tea. You know, 00:58:53.380 --> 00:58:56.699 that's respite too. And it just keeps them going. 00:58:56.900 --> 00:58:59.860 And that's ultimately what we need. Checking 00:58:59.860 --> 00:59:01.380 in on your teacher colleagues as well. I'm just 00:59:01.380 --> 00:59:03.539 not assuming they're okay. You know, checking 00:59:03.539 --> 00:59:06.809 in before school, checking in after school. you 00:59:06.809 --> 00:59:09.849 know ranting with each other supporting each 00:59:09.849 --> 00:59:12.769 other it goes a really long way so if you feel 00:59:12.769 --> 00:59:14.590 like you're not in burnout right now or in crisis 00:59:14.590 --> 00:59:16.969 and you do have the capacity to give just that 00:59:16.969 --> 00:59:19.869 little bit more in whatever means you have with 00:59:19.869 --> 00:59:22.210 those community around you then i highly recommend 00:59:22.210 --> 00:59:24.489 it because it might just keep them going yeah 00:59:25.119 --> 00:59:27.000 And I'll personally say for my audience, I've 00:59:27.000 --> 00:59:28.360 got to the point, and I've mentioned this in 00:59:28.360 --> 00:59:29.559 the last couple of podcasts, but we've got to 00:59:29.559 --> 00:59:31.659 get to the point of agreement with the world. 00:59:31.719 --> 00:59:33.500 Yes, we're angry. Yes, we're hating and stuff 00:59:33.500 --> 00:59:35.860 like that. But it is, everyone is trying, you've 00:59:35.860 --> 00:59:38.280 got the kids at heart, apart from, I would argue, 00:59:38.480 --> 00:59:40.739 local authorities. But apart from that, everyone 00:59:40.739 --> 00:59:42.519 has the kids' interest. The kids' videos probably 00:59:42.519 --> 00:59:45.570 do. That's the irony. Well, when I say like a 00:59:45.570 --> 00:59:47.349 four years, I mean the actual high, high ups 00:59:47.349 --> 00:59:48.530 that are running. I'm not talking about the people 00:59:48.530 --> 00:59:50.610 that work, the social workers and stuff like 00:59:50.610 --> 00:59:51.929 that. They go into it as well, thinking they 00:59:51.929 --> 00:59:53.949 can help. And then I've seen it and they're like, 00:59:53.989 --> 00:59:55.690 no chance. So you're going to be able to do anything. 00:59:56.250 --> 00:59:58.769 Individual level, everyone is passionate and 00:59:58.769 --> 01:00:00.510 wanting the best of the children for the most 01:00:00.510 --> 01:00:04.409 part. But maybe all of our hands are tied. Yeah. 01:00:04.449 --> 01:00:05.889 And you don't know until you ask, right? And 01:00:05.889 --> 01:00:08.550 instead, it's better to ask the question than 01:00:08.550 --> 01:00:11.360 assume. so even if you think that is there to 01:00:11.360 --> 01:00:12.900 get the answer it might be completely shocking 01:00:12.900 --> 01:00:14.519 like especially like you said the comment section 01:00:14.519 --> 01:00:15.900 is really good for that because someone was saying 01:00:15.900 --> 01:00:17.960 something and some people generally learn off 01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:20.960 that and i'm saying nothing and having that judgment 01:00:20.960 --> 01:00:23.219 i think that's where the fear and then the divide 01:00:23.219 --> 01:00:26.000 comes have a lack of egos too like I actually 01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:27.960 love being questioned because it really does 01:00:27.960 --> 01:00:30.480 make me think yeah why am I doing that one of 01:00:30.480 --> 01:00:32.659 my favorite things that my new teaching assistants 01:00:32.659 --> 01:00:35.139 would come in they had no experience no prior 01:00:35.139 --> 01:00:37.559 training at all they would come in I love working 01:00:37.559 --> 01:00:39.679 with people like that because they ask why all 01:00:39.679 --> 01:00:42.139 the time and sometimes I could answer their question 01:00:42.139 --> 01:00:44.710 and other times I think Yeah, why do we do that? 01:00:44.750 --> 01:00:46.610 Is the answer simply because it's always been 01:00:46.610 --> 01:00:48.929 that way? And I need to really check myself if 01:00:48.929 --> 01:00:51.150 that is the answer. I love being questioned. 01:00:51.190 --> 01:00:53.250 And often in my comment section, 50 % of them 01:00:53.250 --> 01:00:55.690 I have an answer for. 50 % of them I think, do 01:00:55.690 --> 01:00:57.130 you know what? You're right. I shouldn't have 01:00:57.130 --> 01:00:58.889 said it like that. Or I should change my way. 01:00:58.949 --> 01:01:01.469 And I love that. You've got to, don't you? Learning. 01:01:02.309 --> 01:01:04.489 I've changed my practice so much in the last 01:01:04.489 --> 01:01:07.909 two years. So much. And I hope to keep changing. 01:01:08.090 --> 01:01:10.510 I hope to keep listening to adult voices. I hope 01:01:10.510 --> 01:01:13.289 to autistic adult voices, disabled adults. voices 01:01:13.289 --> 01:01:16.630 to and carers and therapists I mean that's why 01:01:16.630 --> 01:01:18.150 I love doing my podcast because I'm learning 01:01:18.150 --> 01:01:20.550 all the time and it's changing my practice I've 01:01:20.550 --> 01:01:23.170 shifted massively recently it's only because 01:01:23.170 --> 01:01:26.690 I'm listening I'm open -minded I'm open to being 01:01:26.690 --> 01:01:30.349 questioned and challenged and changing and I 01:01:30.349 --> 01:01:33.030 think if we're all like that also then that would 01:01:33.030 --> 01:01:35.969 be better too I'm not saying my way is the only 01:01:35.969 --> 01:01:38.250 way and even the right way I'm just saying I'm 01:01:38.250 --> 01:01:40.050 growing and developing and this is what I'm this 01:01:40.050 --> 01:01:41.889 is how I'm doing it right now this is what feels 01:01:41.889 --> 01:01:44.849 good for me right now but my god am I open to 01:01:44.849 --> 01:01:47.449 being questioned and challenged and yeah I think 01:01:47.449 --> 01:01:50.079 I think that's a good thing Yeah. And it's quite 01:01:50.079 --> 01:01:51.400 nice, actually, for us to get the opportunity 01:01:51.400 --> 01:01:54.480 to kind of say that about, because it does, we 01:01:54.480 --> 01:01:56.559 learn just as much. And it is kind of, I say 01:01:56.559 --> 01:01:58.139 it's a bit selfish, because as much as they've 01:01:58.139 --> 01:01:59.480 only spoken to someone that understands, and 01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:00.920 we've listened, and they're like, oh, someone, 01:02:01.019 --> 01:02:02.699 we've got to do that so many times. So we kind 01:02:02.699 --> 01:02:04.659 of live in that. But it's not many times you 01:02:04.659 --> 01:02:06.000 get a shout out. So yes, thanks for everybody 01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:08.380 for, because I have this year, and it does, it 01:02:08.380 --> 01:02:11.039 guides you. I learn, I've matured, I've learned 01:02:11.039 --> 01:02:13.019 to, and I know it sounds mad, but learning to 01:02:13.019 --> 01:02:15.099 listen was the biggest change ever. When I stopped 01:02:15.099 --> 01:02:17.380 trying to fix everyone's problems and just listen 01:02:17.380 --> 01:02:20.179 to the problem. and then just go you're doing 01:02:20.179 --> 01:02:21.780 the right thing it's not your fault like that 01:02:21.780 --> 01:02:24.960 that was a million more things than me trying 01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:26.599 to go do this do that do that and maybe if you 01:02:26.599 --> 01:02:28.639 tried that because i think that you know i learned 01:02:28.639 --> 01:02:30.659 that and i think now i'm seeing what the benefit 01:02:30.659 --> 01:02:32.280 is of working together in the community community 01:02:32.280 --> 01:02:34.179 shapes each other right so that it you know we 01:02:34.179 --> 01:02:35.579 learn from each other and then we become the 01:02:35.579 --> 01:02:40.699 perfect community yeah i agree no good yeah nothing 01:02:40.699 --> 01:02:44.980 that's it we've fixed the world But no, yeah, 01:02:45.039 --> 01:02:46.639 I think it's been amazing. It's been an amazing 01:02:46.639 --> 01:02:48.619 podcast and I think we've covered quite a lot. 01:02:48.679 --> 01:02:51.460 And as you said, I'm happy to obviously work 01:02:51.460 --> 01:02:53.300 together as many things as we can and we'll get 01:02:53.300 --> 01:02:54.599 ahead together and see what else we can kind 01:02:54.599 --> 01:02:56.579 of get together and see if we can share audiences 01:02:56.579 --> 01:02:57.960 and stuff like that. But it's been absolutely 01:02:57.960 --> 01:02:59.760 amazing. So thank you for, as I said, you're 01:02:59.760 --> 01:03:02.260 busy as hell. I'm busy, but you're busier. Like, 01:03:02.280 --> 01:03:04.099 do you know what I mean? Like, getting you on 01:03:04.099 --> 01:03:06.079 the podcast is amazing. So thank you. Really 01:03:06.079 --> 01:03:08.159 appreciate you holding space because I very rarely 01:03:08.159 --> 01:03:10.400 get the opportunity to share on this long form 01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:12.690 format. yeah, what I'm passionate about and my 01:03:12.690 --> 01:03:15.690 reasons why. And maybe I need to share more of 01:03:15.690 --> 01:03:17.869 that so that people understand my why. So yeah, 01:03:17.929 --> 01:03:19.409 thank you for giving me the opportunity to do 01:03:19.409 --> 01:03:21.789 that. No, it is very good. And I think, yeah, 01:03:21.889 --> 01:03:24.250 I think it is a great opportunity to get that 01:03:24.250 --> 01:03:26.590 out. And I hope that people then see you as a 01:03:26.590 --> 01:03:27.869 bigger picture because it is hard. I know exactly 01:03:27.869 --> 01:03:29.590 what you said. 60 seconds could be life or death. 01:03:29.610 --> 01:03:31.389 And that's someone's opinion for life on you. 01:03:31.469 --> 01:03:33.230 You say the wrong thing or cut it too short. 01:03:33.309 --> 01:03:36.389 That's it. You're that person now. It's true. 01:03:36.550 --> 01:03:38.789 It's very true. Social media can be cruel. Yeah. 01:03:39.050 --> 01:03:42.159 But yeah, thank you very much. Thanks a lot for 01:03:42.159 --> 01:03:42.619 having me.