WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.700 Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education 00:00:02.700 --> 00:00:06.160 teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:09.119 communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson 00:00:09.119 --> 00:00:11.660 ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged 00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:15.300 4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in 00:00:15.300 --> 00:00:17.640 the field answering your questions and sharing 00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:19.519 our knowledge and experience working alongside 00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:22.559 our beautiful young people. Let's get started. 00:00:27.530 --> 00:00:30.210 As I did last summer holidays, I'm going to kind 00:00:30.210 --> 00:00:33.369 of run a roundup of this academic year's podcast 00:00:33.369 --> 00:00:36.670 episodes over the next few weeks for you to enjoy. 00:00:36.670 --> 00:00:38.729 And maybe you missed a couple and you want to 00:00:38.729 --> 00:00:42.729 come back. So, yeah, here are my favorite clips 00:00:42.729 --> 00:00:46.409 from the last year. Enjoy. And you also find, 00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:51.829 I think, with certain interests, you find your 00:00:51.829 --> 00:00:55.750 people as well. So I think, again, this is just. 00:00:56.090 --> 00:00:58.009 talking from like lived experiences personal 00:00:58.009 --> 00:01:01.549 experiences but you find other people who like 00:01:01.549 --> 00:01:05.129 the same interests as you and because socializing 00:01:05.129 --> 00:01:08.890 and it can be so tricky for our neurodivergent 00:01:08.890 --> 00:01:11.450 people it makes it a bit easier because then 00:01:11.450 --> 00:01:14.590 if you've got an interest with pokemon and someone 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:16.650 else has got an interest in pokemon you've got 00:01:16.650 --> 00:01:19.250 a conversation well you've got days of conversation 00:01:19.250 --> 00:01:21.709 there that you can really you know go to town 00:01:21.709 --> 00:01:24.670 and like connect with someone over a shared interest 00:01:25.450 --> 00:01:27.250 Because the reality is neurodivergent people 00:01:27.250 --> 00:01:29.049 don't want to talk about the weather. They don't 00:01:29.049 --> 00:01:31.409 want to talk about the small things. They want 00:01:31.409 --> 00:01:34.409 to really get into, like, their interests. It's 00:01:34.409 --> 00:01:40.209 so true. Weddings are my nightmare. Short, like, 00:01:40.469 --> 00:01:42.170 short conversations. Well, they're not short. 00:01:42.329 --> 00:01:44.310 They're all day where you're sat with somebody 00:01:44.310 --> 00:01:45.450 that you don't know and you're never going to 00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:47.090 see again, you don't actually care about. And 00:01:47.090 --> 00:01:48.769 you have to make conversation with them all day 00:01:48.769 --> 00:01:51.129 and you have to act interested. It is my worst 00:01:51.129 --> 00:01:55.510 nightmare. I hate it. But if I found out, like, 00:01:55.590 --> 00:01:57.969 that they were a special education teacher, all 00:01:57.969 --> 00:02:00.769 of a sudden, I'm loving life. I've got loads 00:02:00.769 --> 00:02:03.849 to talk to them about. Or any of my other interests. 00:02:04.150 --> 00:02:06.750 All of a sudden, it's easier. So yeah, if you're 00:02:06.750 --> 00:02:09.650 going to... a comic con convention it's way less 00:02:09.650 --> 00:02:12.349 scary because you know that you won't bore these 00:02:12.349 --> 00:02:14.590 people and you can ask the questions that you 00:02:14.590 --> 00:02:17.830 actually want to know about and and know it will 00:02:17.830 --> 00:02:19.930 be received and you might even learn something 00:02:19.930 --> 00:02:21.889 about a fresh interest which is really exciting 00:02:21.889 --> 00:02:24.110 I mean that's why I love these podcasts honestly 00:02:24.110 --> 00:02:26.250 because it's me chatting to people that have 00:02:26.250 --> 00:02:28.909 the same interests as me and it's so exciting 00:02:28.909 --> 00:02:31.750 I get to really absorb that and talk about it 00:02:31.750 --> 00:02:35.259 in really like deep detail and learn more and 00:02:35.259 --> 00:02:37.680 it's really exciting it really stretches that 00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:40.199 interest for me whereas if this I couldn't have 00:02:40.199 --> 00:02:43.180 a podcast about another subject the general thing 00:02:43.180 --> 00:02:44.960 I couldn't I wouldn't know what to say I wouldn't 00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:48.819 enjoy it no so yeah yeah I think that's a community 00:02:48.819 --> 00:02:52.000 that's a really really good benefit isn't it 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:54.099 of having those really clear obvious special 00:02:54.099 --> 00:02:56.300 interests and another reason why we want to encourage 00:02:56.300 --> 00:02:59.439 that you know if there's a few children in your 00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:01.759 school even if they're at different ages but 00:03:01.759 --> 00:03:04.939 have similar interests maybe we have a lego club 00:03:04.939 --> 00:03:07.479 or maybe we have a disney club or maybe we have 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:10.819 a burrito train set club whatever it is that 00:03:10.819 --> 00:03:12.759 your children are interested in maybe have a 00:03:12.759 --> 00:03:14.939 cooking club whatever it is because then they 00:03:14.939 --> 00:03:17.819 can have shared interests that is the fundamental 00:03:17.819 --> 00:03:21.300 basis of friendship isn't it regardless of age 00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:23.159 i've certainly learned that getting older and 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:25.379 older like my friends are all sorts of ages now 00:03:25.379 --> 00:03:27.460 i've got teenage friends and i've got retired 00:03:27.460 --> 00:03:29.740 friends and really really really good friends 00:03:29.740 --> 00:03:32.159 and it's because as an adult you're almost allowed 00:03:32.159 --> 00:03:34.599 to be friends with who you want to be friends 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:37.819 with rather than at school the same year group 00:03:37.819 --> 00:03:41.479 with those same people isn't it absolutely also 00:03:41.479 --> 00:03:45.539 uh I think when you're in like say a club or 00:03:45.539 --> 00:03:48.800 like a group with a group of people who have 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:51.539 those same interests you don't feel judged it's 00:03:51.539 --> 00:03:53.259 actually like what we said about before about 00:03:53.259 --> 00:03:57.120 feeling judged or you know you may you know you 00:03:57.120 --> 00:04:00.000 may feel you may feel that judgment you don't 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.560 like you say like for example you said comic 00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:04.819 -con you can go there and people are not judging 00:04:04.819 --> 00:04:06.960 you at comic -con because you're celebrating 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:10.259 say absolutely the things that you actually might 00:04:10.259 --> 00:04:14.240 be judged for walking to your supermarket or 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:17.300 down into your local village are celebrated and 00:04:17.300 --> 00:04:20.920 that's huge like you're not going to be hiding 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:23.480 it because i'd hate to think that people out 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:26.959 there loving certain things but don't want to 00:04:27.420 --> 00:04:29.500 but kind of keep them keep that part of them 00:04:29.500 --> 00:04:32.579 hidden because of the fear of being judged but 00:04:32.579 --> 00:04:35.040 actually there's a lot of you know a lot of people 00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:36.920 out there that do do that because they think 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:38.839 oh it's not age appropriate like I don't even 00:04:38.839 --> 00:04:41.519 say I've got like loads of pop figures pop figures 00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:43.540 is something else that I collect And it's like, 00:04:43.620 --> 00:04:46.139 art figures are for children. Are they? Why? 00:04:46.439 --> 00:04:49.360 Why? I think that's what to say, right? Because 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:51.300 that was going to be my final closing question 00:04:51.300 --> 00:04:54.240 was, if people are listening to this and they've 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:56.699 started the school term and you've got a couple 00:04:56.699 --> 00:04:58.360 of children in your class and they have these 00:04:58.360 --> 00:05:01.060 kind of interests that are deemed not age appropriate 00:05:01.060 --> 00:05:03.639 for their chronological age and you've got maybe 00:05:03.639 --> 00:05:06.180 part of your team or some of your senior leadership 00:05:06.180 --> 00:05:08.759 team are kind of really putting pressure on you 00:05:08.759 --> 00:05:11.589 to make a change with that. or the school are 00:05:11.589 --> 00:05:13.230 and you're the parent whatever we feel feeling 00:05:13.230 --> 00:05:16.629 that pressure what's a what's a good tactic what's 00:05:16.629 --> 00:05:19.050 a good strategy what's something to say or do 00:05:19.050 --> 00:05:23.089 in that situation to ensure that you are protecting 00:05:23.089 --> 00:05:34.670 that young person as their advocate let's talk 00:05:34.670 --> 00:05:37.360 about your journey with this then Because I'm 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:41.319 wondering from a psychotherapist lens, the weight 00:05:41.319 --> 00:05:45.410 of a family carrying that. you know navigating 00:05:45.410 --> 00:05:48.750 the ROM setting and not necessarily having a 00:05:48.750 --> 00:05:51.750 choice before she got her new school what kind 00:05:51.750 --> 00:05:54.610 of what did that what happened for you what did 00:05:54.610 --> 00:05:56.550 that feel like for you and how did you navigate 00:05:56.550 --> 00:05:59.550 that? I mean being a psychotherapist I have tools 00:05:59.550 --> 00:06:01.970 and resources but when I look back on some of 00:06:01.970 --> 00:06:05.050 my journal journal it was almost like being really 00:06:05.050 --> 00:06:10.139 isolated cased in a single cubicle and sort of 00:06:10.139 --> 00:06:13.079 trying to bang on these walls doors to be lit 00:06:13.079 --> 00:06:15.800 free or for someone to hear me and you know as 00:06:15.800 --> 00:06:17.300 i said we're waiting for an assessment but you 00:06:17.300 --> 00:06:19.899 know you know your child and it's almost like 00:06:19.899 --> 00:06:22.779 you have to jump through so many hoops for so 00:06:22.779 --> 00:06:25.300 long for them to tell you what's innate in you 00:06:25.300 --> 00:06:27.560 that you know especially when you've been keeping 00:06:27.560 --> 00:06:31.360 journals yeah yeah the evidence is there the 00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:34.000 evidence is clear and still yet they ask you 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:37.410 to wait and monitor and report Yeah, it's frustrating. 00:06:38.069 --> 00:06:40.649 What tools, if there's parents listening here 00:06:40.649 --> 00:06:43.589 that are in exactly that space, in that cubicle, 00:06:43.670 --> 00:06:46.269 banging on those walls and relentless cubicles 00:06:46.269 --> 00:06:47.970 as well. You just get through one door and then 00:06:47.970 --> 00:06:49.970 you find yourself in another cubicle. It's relentless. 00:06:50.230 --> 00:06:52.949 Are there any strategies or support systems that 00:06:52.949 --> 00:06:55.569 you could suggest that could help them? Actually, 00:06:55.610 --> 00:06:58.370 yeah. I mean, given my time, I've kept a journal 00:06:58.370 --> 00:07:01.189 and I've taken strands from that journal and 00:07:01.189 --> 00:07:03.800 I've sort of... compiled a self -care guide for 00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:06.339 parents with special needs because within my 00:07:06.339 --> 00:07:09.500 practice I do have a lot of parents who come 00:07:09.500 --> 00:07:11.959 to me with children who have special needs and 00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.699 I also have a lot of parents themselves who have 00:07:14.699 --> 00:07:17.579 special needs so you have that sort of like a 00:07:17.579 --> 00:07:19.600 special needs child and you also have special 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:21.779 needs hitting each other as well which is another 00:07:21.779 --> 00:07:25.879 layer so for me sort of compiled sort of top 00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:30.019 10 things to think about and one is your mental 00:07:30.019 --> 00:07:33.500 health and protecting your mental health and 00:07:33.500 --> 00:07:36.720 for me it was letting go being a perfect parent 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:41.560 wow yeah wow that was powerful so often we need 00:07:41.560 --> 00:07:43.779 to be everybody we need to wear every hat we 00:07:43.779 --> 00:07:47.139 need to be everything that everybody else is 00:07:47.139 --> 00:07:51.439 failing our child without just recognizing that 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:54.069 we're already everything they need us to be. 00:07:54.230 --> 00:07:56.870 That is so powerful. Yeah. And there's a great 00:07:56.870 --> 00:07:59.910 clinician, a psychotherapist, Donald Winnicott, 00:07:59.949 --> 00:08:02.569 that says The Good Enough Parent, which is a 00:08:02.569 --> 00:08:05.170 really good book to read. So, you know, I've 00:08:05.170 --> 00:08:06.970 learned I've had good days and bad days. I've 00:08:06.970 --> 00:08:09.170 had good days and bad days. I feel frustrated. 00:08:09.370 --> 00:08:11.850 I feel I don't have all the answers, you know, 00:08:11.850 --> 00:08:14.410 and that's okay. I ask for help. You know, I 00:08:14.410 --> 00:08:17.230 have my own therapist for this reason. I am a 00:08:17.230 --> 00:08:19.129 therapist, but I also have my own therapist for 00:08:19.129 --> 00:08:21.610 this reason. So I will always ask for help. Yeah. 00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:26.899 That's a great first strategy. Acceptance. Accept 00:08:26.899 --> 00:08:30.339 what you can do that is realistic. And you're 00:08:30.339 --> 00:08:34.159 probably doing a lot. Yeah. Amazing. What else 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:37.320 is on the list? Learn about your child's needs. 00:08:37.500 --> 00:08:40.779 But I would, from my own experience, not overwhelm 00:08:40.779 --> 00:08:43.559 yourself. Because obviously I would delve deep 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:47.059 into manuals and books and go online and listen 00:08:47.059 --> 00:08:49.320 to all of that. And it can be quite overwhelming. 00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:53.039 And I would say. You know your child. Yeah. You 00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:55.559 know your child. Yeah, you're the expert in them. 00:08:55.840 --> 00:08:59.220 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And even when you're 00:08:59.220 --> 00:09:02.720 told your child is dyslexic or has autism or 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:06.039 ADHD, it's vast. It's not the same for everybody. 00:09:06.259 --> 00:09:10.539 So I take what Mia has and I adapt to our nuclear 00:09:10.539 --> 00:09:13.480 family, our living arrangements, our relationship. 00:09:13.899 --> 00:09:16.039 Yeah. Yeah, and a lot of those strategies that 00:09:16.039 --> 00:09:17.500 work, you've probably already found them even 00:09:17.500 --> 00:09:19.179 though you didn't know why or how they work. 00:09:19.690 --> 00:09:21.950 You're probably already doing it. I see parents 00:09:21.950 --> 00:09:24.789 a lot that are naturally doing the things that 00:09:24.789 --> 00:09:27.570 I support parents to do because they've found 00:09:27.570 --> 00:09:29.830 their way, because they're the expert in their 00:09:29.830 --> 00:09:32.070 child and what their child needs. It's a really 00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:35.049 cool point. Yeah. And I would say find your people, 00:09:35.190 --> 00:09:38.029 find your tribe, people you can connect to, other 00:09:38.029 --> 00:09:41.070 parents, support groups, podcasts like this. 00:09:41.210 --> 00:09:43.730 So important to find your tribe and your allies. 00:09:44.029 --> 00:09:45.789 Yeah. Because it can be lonely and isolating. 00:09:46.049 --> 00:09:47.769 At least there's other people in the cubicle 00:09:47.769 --> 00:09:50.529 with you then. Yeah. For sure. For sure. And 00:09:50.529 --> 00:09:54.250 also just take time. Mia has pit stops, but so 00:09:54.250 --> 00:10:00.129 do I. Yeah. So to have a coffee, a tea, just 00:10:00.129 --> 00:10:02.889 sit and do nothing, which is something. Yeah. 00:10:02.950 --> 00:10:04.830 And know that that's enough. That's still part 00:10:04.830 --> 00:10:08.049 of the support of your child. It's not selfish. 00:10:08.909 --> 00:10:12.830 Yeah. No. Self -care, a lot of mums particularly, 00:10:13.070 --> 00:10:16.090 but dads as well, think self -care is being selfish. 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:19.840 But I always say if the pot is empty and it's 00:10:19.840 --> 00:10:22.299 not replenished, how can anyone dip into it? 00:10:22.500 --> 00:10:25.000 Yeah. It's that co -regulation, isn't it? How 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:27.919 could they be regulated if you're not regulated? 00:10:28.500 --> 00:10:31.039 It works both ways, doesn't it? So you helping 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:34.419 yourself helps them. It's allowing that. It's 00:10:34.419 --> 00:10:46.379 giving yourself grace in that. Yeah. One, I would 00:10:46.379 --> 00:10:50.340 say trust your intuition about what they need 00:10:50.340 --> 00:10:54.419 and don't be afraid to ask for help. And if you 00:10:54.419 --> 00:10:57.360 feel like it's not the right help, keep going 00:10:57.360 --> 00:10:59.779 because, you know, I've got quite a few kids 00:10:59.779 --> 00:11:03.240 on my caseload who had seen other OTs previously 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:06.740 and they just didn't, they don't know about PDA 00:11:06.740 --> 00:11:10.000 or that's not their cup of tea, I guess. And 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:12.399 so they're coming to me having a not so great 00:11:12.399 --> 00:11:14.960 experience and then... When they see that things 00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:17.519 can be playful and that can be child led and 00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:19.940 they're like, this is so different. And, but 00:11:19.940 --> 00:11:22.500 the thing is even for the minority that aren't 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:24.700 PDAs, I work in the same way anyway, because 00:11:24.700 --> 00:11:28.679 it's so empowering for children. And I think 00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:32.259 the things like when I think back to when we 00:11:32.259 --> 00:11:36.200 were in school can't and some of the bigger aggressions 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:38.720 that were happening. We were thinking, oh, this 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:41.440 is just PDA. This is just PDA. And it actually 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:44.019 wasn't. It was grief. So the other thing to remember 00:11:44.019 --> 00:11:47.840 is it's not always PDA, but sometimes we think 00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:51.179 it's all just nervous system disability and where 00:11:51.179 --> 00:11:53.500 they're at. But they have other really valid 00:11:53.500 --> 00:11:56.679 feelings too. And we need to be looking out for 00:11:56.679 --> 00:12:00.360 some of those because. I think as a group of 00:12:00.360 --> 00:12:03.799 children, they do experience quite a bit of trauma 00:12:03.799 --> 00:12:06.879 as well, because as a child, you don't get a 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:10.100 lot of autonomy and choice. And even with really 00:12:10.100 --> 00:12:13.120 parents that are well -meaning and are doing 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:14.659 their best, there are things that are going to 00:12:14.659 --> 00:12:17.940 happen that, you know, it's, I think, yeah, a 00:12:17.940 --> 00:12:20.899 really tricky thing. And just that, you know, 00:12:20.899 --> 00:12:23.600 I think you can have, there's a lot of talk about 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:26.379 radical acceptance, and I think that is very 00:12:26.379 --> 00:12:30.169 much needed as well. But you also, like, this 00:12:30.169 --> 00:12:33.049 is just my personal values. I just have, I'm 00:12:33.049 --> 00:12:35.730 a very hopeful person and I have a lot of gratitude. 00:12:36.389 --> 00:12:39.529 And I think you need all three of those things. 00:12:39.669 --> 00:12:42.149 You need to be able to, as we talked about before, 00:12:42.289 --> 00:12:46.649 witness the small wins and be able to see, yeah, 00:12:46.750 --> 00:12:50.289 your child. as a whole person just as they are 00:12:50.289 --> 00:12:53.649 and know that they are growing and changing that 00:12:53.649 --> 00:12:55.929 neuroplasticity does exist it won't take away 00:12:55.929 --> 00:12:59.269 the PDA but nothing stays the same ever it'll 00:12:59.269 --> 00:13:01.549 shift and it might be minute it might be minute 00:13:01.549 --> 00:13:04.450 but there will be a shift and a change yeah as 00:13:04.450 --> 00:13:07.549 I said and yeah try and create community for 00:13:07.549 --> 00:13:10.470 yourself because it can be so isolating if you're 00:13:10.470 --> 00:13:13.909 stuck in the house and just feeling like nobody 00:13:13.909 --> 00:13:16.789 understands this and you're alone you're really 00:13:17.759 --> 00:13:21.399 there's so there are many families in exactly 00:13:21.399 --> 00:13:24.899 your situation and the more we can take the shame 00:13:24.899 --> 00:13:27.580 away from what's going on and talk about it because 00:13:27.580 --> 00:13:30.539 there's no there's no possible way I don't think 00:13:30.539 --> 00:13:34.200 for two nervous systems or three to be at such 00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:36.559 a heightened place buffering off each other all 00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:38.940 the time without one or more people going into 00:13:38.940 --> 00:13:42.899 burnout it's just it's not possible and yet you 00:13:42.899 --> 00:13:46.340 can be doing everything that you can at home 00:13:46.340 --> 00:13:50.600 and school might not be on board and it's a hard 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:53.299 it's a tricky path to walk and yeah trying to 00:13:53.299 --> 00:13:55.559 make those decisions as to you know whether you 00:13:55.559 --> 00:13:58.220 homeschool for a period of time and try and re 00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:03.580 -engage but it's really hard to find what works 00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:07.580 but I think, yeah, it's, yeah, but yeah. And 00:14:07.580 --> 00:14:11.460 I just, I just respect PDA parents so much. Like 00:14:11.460 --> 00:14:13.899 I just, yeah, they're some of the most, yeah, 00:14:13.980 --> 00:14:17.460 really beautiful people. Yeah. And they wholeheartedly 00:14:17.460 --> 00:14:21.320 believe and advocate for their children so well. 00:14:22.059 --> 00:14:26.059 So well. Yeah. I think that's one thing that 00:14:26.059 --> 00:14:28.559 PDA does really well is it actually nurtures 00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:32.220 such beautiful parenting. Like I have met so 00:14:32.220 --> 00:14:35.740 many wonderful parents of PDAs that just know 00:14:35.740 --> 00:14:38.200 their children so well, advocate for their children 00:14:38.200 --> 00:14:41.360 so well, manage their needs just almost effortlessly. 00:14:41.419 --> 00:14:43.480 Like they might have never been taught this stuff 00:14:43.480 --> 00:14:47.370 officially. They just know how to say certain 00:14:47.370 --> 00:14:50.250 things, how to portray, you know, whatever it 00:14:50.250 --> 00:14:52.389 is they need to do. They just find these beautiful 00:14:52.389 --> 00:14:56.009 ways. And I'm constantly learning from the amazing 00:14:56.009 --> 00:15:00.519 parenting of PDAs. So, yeah, credit. If you're 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:02.580 listening to this and you believe your child 00:15:02.580 --> 00:15:05.240 is a PDA, diagnosed or not, we just think you're 00:15:05.240 --> 00:15:07.720 doing such an incredible job. And if you're listening 00:15:07.720 --> 00:15:09.539 to this and you're not sure if your child is 00:15:09.539 --> 00:15:12.639 or not, good PDA practice is just good practice. 00:15:12.899 --> 00:15:15.360 So whether you're a teacher or a parent, maybe 00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:17.500 try some of this stuff. Look at the PDA Society. 00:15:17.860 --> 00:15:21.899 Look up good PDA practice. It genuinely is good 00:15:21.899 --> 00:15:24.299 practice. It wouldn't do any harm to any other 00:15:24.299 --> 00:15:27.399 child or student if you test it out. these things 00:15:27.399 --> 00:15:29.779 it just lessens anxiety it gives them more autonomy 00:15:29.779 --> 00:15:33.799 um and it just makes it more fun to yeah teach 00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:35.659 them parent them and all of those kind of things 00:15:35.659 --> 00:15:37.840 so it's just good practice so if you're in doubt 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:40.639 don't be in doubt of the strategies just test 00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:43.659 them out and yeah you will see that kind of connection 00:15:43.659 --> 00:15:53.039 building that anxiety reduce for sure And we, 00:15:53.100 --> 00:15:56.240 I can attest to that firsthand. We lost a pupil 00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:59.080 last year and we weren't prepared. We weren't 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:02.740 ready. And it was. a beautiful mess but trying 00:16:02.740 --> 00:16:04.960 to navigate that with a class and support your 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:07.620 team and support the pupils and the parents you 00:16:07.620 --> 00:16:08.980 know you're so close with the parents aren't 00:16:08.980 --> 00:16:10.960 you in special education kind of trying to support 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:14.419 everybody whilst trying to also manage ourselves 00:16:14.419 --> 00:16:17.320 and find suitable and appropriate things to do 00:16:17.320 --> 00:16:20.139 was just an absolute minefield so if we'd have 00:16:20.139 --> 00:16:22.200 already been doing that we already had the resource 00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:24.620 knew the resource already practicing some of 00:16:24.620 --> 00:16:26.899 those things you know like Like we said before, 00:16:26.980 --> 00:16:28.620 it doesn't have to be somebody passing away. 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:30.320 There's lots of loss. So there's no reason why 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:35.570 you couldn't do regular activities on loss. staff 00:16:35.570 --> 00:16:38.009 members that have moved on you know friends that 00:16:38.009 --> 00:16:39.830 are year six and they've gone to a new school 00:16:39.830 --> 00:16:41.769 you know all those kind of things and practice 00:16:41.769 --> 00:16:43.850 that because then if and when it does happen 00:16:43.850 --> 00:16:46.470 and unfortunately it's really common in our field 00:16:46.470 --> 00:16:49.370 of work that we would sadly lose some people 00:16:49.370 --> 00:16:51.230 that we work with it's one reason why you have 00:16:51.230 --> 00:16:53.870 class pets so that they experience some loss 00:16:53.870 --> 00:16:56.629 yeah yeah because we all experience loss in our 00:16:56.629 --> 00:16:59.789 lives don't we yeah I think it's too easy to 00:16:59.789 --> 00:17:05.450 assume that our pupils aren't aware and don't 00:17:05.450 --> 00:17:08.349 feel the loss. Even on a sensory level, even 00:17:08.349 --> 00:17:11.150 if it is on a sensory level, they will miss the 00:17:11.150 --> 00:17:13.609 sounds that are now not there or the smells that 00:17:13.609 --> 00:17:16.210 now aren't there. And the love. I think they 00:17:16.210 --> 00:17:18.849 miss the love. Yeah. Yeah. And I've noticed that 00:17:18.849 --> 00:17:21.589 with my learners that are guest language processors, 00:17:21.690 --> 00:17:24.329 so do have some phrases and some words, they 00:17:24.329 --> 00:17:27.750 were able to say that they miss this pupil, which 00:17:27.750 --> 00:17:30.589 told us that then all of them would. You know, 00:17:30.609 --> 00:17:33.069 that was our little cue of, you know, no. If 00:17:33.069 --> 00:17:34.549 the ones that are speaking are speaking about 00:17:34.549 --> 00:17:37.170 him, then it means that. The ones that aren't 00:17:37.170 --> 00:17:39.569 speaking are thinking about him. Yeah, and a 00:17:39.569 --> 00:17:42.470 healthy way is to talk, isn't it? It's, you know, 00:17:42.490 --> 00:17:44.269 talking therapy and stuff. So, you know, for 00:17:44.269 --> 00:17:46.470 our non -verbal kids, we would just do however 00:17:46.470 --> 00:17:48.650 we communicate with them normally. So, like, 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:51.289 I've written story message for, you know, losing 00:17:51.289 --> 00:17:53.950 grandad, losing a pet, you know, breaking up 00:17:53.950 --> 00:17:56.490 with somebody, you know. Right. All sorts, you 00:17:56.490 --> 00:17:58.930 know. There's all sorts of loss, you know. Even 00:17:58.930 --> 00:18:01.349 moving house, you know. Yeah. Breaking her favourite 00:18:01.349 --> 00:18:05.420 toy. Yes, yeah. It's all loss, isn't it? Yeah. 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:08.440 We use the book Rabbitiness. I don't know if 00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:10.759 you know it. Oh, I've also put together a huge, 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:13.259 huge book list. Every time someone comments on 00:18:13.259 --> 00:18:15.220 social media, oh, we use this one. I'm like, 00:18:15.299 --> 00:18:17.839 we'll add that to the list. Yeah, Rabbitiness 00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:20.299 is so perfect for us. And he was particularly 00:18:20.299 --> 00:18:22.740 loved being. It's obviously all about rabbits. 00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:25.640 And this story is beautiful, all about loss, 00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:27.980 isn't it? And how to share their legacy and view 00:18:27.980 --> 00:18:30.539 music and colour. And it was so perfect. Every 00:18:30.539 --> 00:18:34.660 year now, we will have a Rabbitiness Day. well 00:18:34.660 --> 00:18:36.579 yeah to remember our friend particularly obviously 00:18:36.579 --> 00:18:38.700 remember him every day but yeah to remember him 00:18:38.700 --> 00:18:40.660 particularly you can also do things like you 00:18:40.660 --> 00:18:42.960 know autobiography umbrellas and autobiography 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:45.259 sensory bags and stuff and so you're doing that 00:18:45.579 --> 00:18:47.960 you know we're finding all about ourselves and 00:18:47.960 --> 00:18:50.900 all about me in a while we're living but you 00:18:50.900 --> 00:18:52.740 know when someone passes they're really useful 00:18:52.740 --> 00:18:55.220 because you've got in a bag and all about me 00:18:55.220 --> 00:18:57.680 that's you know their their favorite things you 00:18:57.680 --> 00:18:59.859 know this is the music i like this is the smell 00:18:59.859 --> 00:19:01.980 i like you know this is one of my favorite toys 00:19:01.980 --> 00:19:04.480 i really love this show you know i really like 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:07.509 that and it's all created by them It's their 00:19:07.509 --> 00:19:10.630 choices. Yeah. Their preferences. I mean, you 00:19:10.630 --> 00:19:12.990 could do it for anything, you know, I did a sensory 00:19:12.990 --> 00:19:15.410 umbrella for a dog one, you know, so I've got 00:19:15.410 --> 00:19:17.230 an umbrella that's just got like paws on and 00:19:17.230 --> 00:19:20.180 then hanging off like. certain toys or bits of 00:19:20.180 --> 00:19:22.079 blankets or bits of smells and stuff and then 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:24.759 it's a it's a focal point to talk about the things 00:19:24.759 --> 00:19:26.359 as well isn't it or remember he used to like 00:19:26.359 --> 00:19:28.660 playing with this toy you know or here's his 00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:30.900 little name tag how cute's that you know and 00:19:30.900 --> 00:19:33.660 it gives you a little something to you know grieve 00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:36.519 together over yeah well like we would with concrete 00:19:36.519 --> 00:19:39.279 props and sensory resources you know 24 7 yeah 00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:42.380 absolutely so why not do it with everything and 00:19:42.380 --> 00:19:45.950 even a tricky topic yeah Can it work for all 00:19:45.950 --> 00:19:49.410 ages and stages? You know, thinking about age 00:19:49.410 --> 00:19:53.509 appropriateness. Yeah, absolutely. Can we talk 00:19:53.509 --> 00:19:56.109 about that for a second? Of course, yes. Because 00:19:56.109 --> 00:19:57.609 I heard you talk about, you know, a telly tubby 00:19:57.609 --> 00:20:00.210 story and things. Yeah. I'm sure you can guess 00:20:00.210 --> 00:20:02.150 what I think about that, but I'd love to hear 00:20:02.150 --> 00:20:06.430 your views on age appropriateness. We have a 00:20:06.430 --> 00:20:10.650 day centre by us and I asked them about the Teletubby 00:20:10.650 --> 00:20:12.849 thing. And they said if my godson had turned 00:20:12.849 --> 00:20:14.890 up with a Teletubby, they would take it off him 00:20:14.890 --> 00:20:17.569 and give him a more appropriate soft toy, which 00:20:17.569 --> 00:20:20.349 to me is absolutely ridiculous. It would mean 00:20:20.349 --> 00:20:23.670 absolutely nothing to him. He was Teletubby obsessed. 00:20:24.210 --> 00:20:27.049 You know, he could choose an episode of Teletubbies 00:20:27.049 --> 00:20:29.819 that he wanted to watch. I don't know, a Minecraft 00:20:29.819 --> 00:20:31.660 figure or whatever it'd be these days. It would 00:20:31.660 --> 00:20:33.960 be completely irrelevant and mean absolutely 00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:36.259 nothing to him. And I think that's, it's cruel. 00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:38.200 You know, I think. Yeah, and I know lots of adults 00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:40.920 that are really into Disney. Absolutely. Disney 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:43.799 seems to be an acceptable one. Or, you know, 00:20:43.819 --> 00:20:46.900 whatever. Like there were lots of things that 00:20:46.900 --> 00:20:48.819 all of us like. Yeah, absolutely. Because they 00:20:48.819 --> 00:20:50.940 just feel nice. They feel good. They feel nostalgic. 00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:54.000 They bring us joy. Yeah. Who's to put a number 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:56.519 to that? Like I do think it's genuinely bizarre. 00:20:57.319 --> 00:21:01.400 simply since we say stage not age yes and Flo 00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:04.400 Longhorn says person appropriate yes because 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:07.019 it's really you know you might have someone you 00:21:07.019 --> 00:21:10.599 know at a cognitive level that's that's quite 00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:13.140 low but then they might you know sort of I don't 00:21:13.140 --> 00:21:15.759 know have I don't know a relationship with someone 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:18.259 you know a boyfriend girlfriend type relationship 00:21:18.259 --> 00:21:20.779 you know you can't sort of say they're at a particular 00:21:21.319 --> 00:21:23.740 It's very hard to say that someone's at a particular 00:21:23.740 --> 00:21:26.359 sort of level because there's so many different 00:21:26.359 --> 00:21:28.640 sort of facets to our sort of personality, aren't 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:32.599 there? But, you know, I think if you are at that 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:35.839 level, it's really important that whatever you 00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:38.180 find comforting, whatever makes you feel safe, 00:21:38.339 --> 00:21:40.920 you're allowed to have. And it should be utilised 00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:43.420 to the absolute max. If anybody anywhere in any 00:21:43.420 --> 00:21:45.920 school has got any kind of interest or whatever, 00:21:46.099 --> 00:21:49.390 you would just use it. as a reward but use it 00:21:49.390 --> 00:21:52.470 as part of your what you're doing you know sort 00:21:52.470 --> 00:21:53.950 of like if you're counting so i've just written 00:21:53.950 --> 00:21:55.329 this this morning actually if you're counting 00:21:55.329 --> 00:21:57.589 something you might as well be counting paw patrol 00:21:57.589 --> 00:22:00.470 you know compare that to a worksheet you know 00:22:00.470 --> 00:22:01.990 if you've got something right in front of you 00:22:01.990 --> 00:22:04.390 that's tangible and real you can touch it you 00:22:04.390 --> 00:22:06.230 can hold it and it's your favorite characters 00:22:06.230 --> 00:22:09.450 you know you need to use what's what's of interest 00:22:09.450 --> 00:22:12.549 and what's motivating to encourage people to 00:22:12.549 --> 00:22:21.359 learn and encourage them to remember That leads 00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:23.660 us quite nicely onto something I wanted to talk 00:22:23.660 --> 00:22:27.559 about, which is navigating consent with all learners. 00:22:28.299 --> 00:22:31.920 We're able to give verbal consent or even sometimes 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:37.000 clear physical consent. How do you navigate that 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:40.599 when you're doing things like TACPAC or massages 00:22:40.599 --> 00:22:42.940 or intimate care even, or even just hoisting, 00:22:42.940 --> 00:22:44.940 moving from chair to chair? How are you navigating 00:22:44.940 --> 00:22:48.900 that? consent with your learners so once again 00:22:48.900 --> 00:22:51.980 it's a really it's a really what do i say it's 00:22:51.980 --> 00:22:54.440 a really tricky thing to navigate um because 00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:59.400 i have for example in my class we do have um 00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:02.420 a variety of learners some who can give very 00:23:02.420 --> 00:23:06.799 very clear um gestural or sort of vocal consent 00:23:06.799 --> 00:23:11.509 um Or, you know, indicating, you know, I disapprove, 00:23:11.509 --> 00:23:14.490 get away from me. We've had, you know, and during 00:23:14.490 --> 00:23:16.210 things like TAPPAC, that's incredibly useful. 00:23:16.289 --> 00:23:18.529 If they don't like a certain texture or a sound, 00:23:18.650 --> 00:23:21.730 they might use a facial expressions or vocalizations. 00:23:21.750 --> 00:23:24.410 And to, you know, from getting to know those 00:23:24.410 --> 00:23:26.849 learners, they can clearly indicate, I don't 00:23:26.849 --> 00:23:28.970 like this. When it comes to our more passive 00:23:28.970 --> 00:23:31.289 learners, that is where it is definitely still, 00:23:31.410 --> 00:23:33.950 I would say, a work in progress in our class. 00:23:34.150 --> 00:23:36.960 I don't necessarily... feel that there is so 00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:38.519 there's definitely not a one -size -fits -all 00:23:38.519 --> 00:23:43.339 and the way that i'm trying to support with say 00:23:43.339 --> 00:23:46.779 consent during intimate care is by ensuring that 00:23:46.779 --> 00:23:49.420 our school has got an intimate care policy and 00:23:49.420 --> 00:23:51.420 i've sort of recently supported with writing 00:23:51.420 --> 00:23:55.039 that to be as clear as and consistent as possible 00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:57.599 and then also implementing intimate care plans 00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:01.640 um still a relatively new thing in our setting 00:24:01.640 --> 00:24:05.089 but by doing that It gives us more opportunity 00:24:05.089 --> 00:24:07.910 to actually think about how our learners communicate. 00:24:08.349 --> 00:24:09.730 And we already have things like communication 00:24:09.730 --> 00:24:12.849 passports that explicitly say, you know, why 00:24:12.849 --> 00:24:15.269 does this learner communicate? How do they communicate? 00:24:15.569 --> 00:24:17.730 What their communication might look like? And 00:24:17.730 --> 00:24:21.009 I go into the very, very intimate details, you 00:24:21.009 --> 00:24:23.789 know. So, for example, one of my learners mostly 00:24:23.789 --> 00:24:26.890 communicates through eye movement, maybe occasional 00:24:26.890 --> 00:24:30.089 mouth movement or some sighing. or like a deeper 00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:31.950 breath if they're like particularly relaxed. 00:24:32.230 --> 00:24:34.730 And I make sure that I've detailed all of those 00:24:34.730 --> 00:24:37.089 things in their communication passport. And then 00:24:37.089 --> 00:24:39.930 we try and look for those signals during intimate 00:24:39.930 --> 00:24:44.509 care and go from there. It's so tricky, but it's 00:24:44.509 --> 00:24:47.190 interesting that, you know, discussing this is 00:24:47.190 --> 00:24:48.809 something that we've been discussing over the 00:24:48.809 --> 00:24:52.250 last term is in terms of swimming and hydrotherapy. 00:24:52.509 --> 00:24:56.319 So I have... A couple of learners, like I said, 00:24:56.319 --> 00:24:59.960 who are very passive, quiet and sleep a lot. 00:25:00.140 --> 00:25:02.880 Yes, yes. They either don't sleep so well at 00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:06.420 night or their bodies just need that extra rest 00:25:06.420 --> 00:25:08.880 and it can mean that they can be asleep for the 00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:11.720 entire school day. And that's where navigating 00:25:11.720 --> 00:25:15.839 consent becomes a real sort of minefield because 00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.640 you're very aware that basic care needs need 00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:21.440 to be met. They require feeds, they require medication, 00:25:21.799 --> 00:25:24.720 they require... pad changes they require that 00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:27.559 intimate care how do you then tackle things like 00:25:27.559 --> 00:25:30.880 postural care and swimming when that learner 00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:34.559 is asleep especially when you know that hydrotherapy 00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:36.940 or being in the pool is incredibly beneficial 00:25:36.940 --> 00:25:39.960 for that learner but you can't wake them up how 00:25:39.960 --> 00:25:41.880 do you navigate that and it's something that 00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:45.809 we I don't really have an answer to because I 00:25:45.809 --> 00:25:47.450 think of it from two different perspectives. 00:25:47.609 --> 00:25:51.910 If that learner or if it were me and I was asleep 00:25:51.910 --> 00:25:54.910 and I'd been taken into a changing room where 00:25:54.910 --> 00:25:56.730 the light's really bright and it's really hot 00:25:56.730 --> 00:25:59.089 and I'm having all my clothes taken off and all 00:25:59.089 --> 00:26:02.430 of a sudden I wake up and I'm submerged in water. 00:26:02.650 --> 00:26:05.809 Yes, I might have someone holding me, but I'm 00:26:05.809 --> 00:26:08.509 submerged in water with essentially no warning. 00:26:09.410 --> 00:26:12.910 That would be terrifying, right? So how do we 00:26:12.910 --> 00:26:16.829 navigate that with a learner? needs that hydrotherapy 00:26:16.829 --> 00:26:20.210 but doesn't wake up for example and then from 00:26:20.210 --> 00:26:22.210 the other perspective I've sort of discussed 00:26:22.210 --> 00:26:24.390 this with the people at school is that we felt 00:26:24.390 --> 00:26:26.869 like right well if that learner is asleep they 00:26:26.869 --> 00:26:30.930 can't consent to doing this activity this position 00:26:30.930 --> 00:26:33.349 change but ultimately that's still what they 00:26:33.349 --> 00:26:36.230 need to and it's your duty of care it's a duty 00:26:36.230 --> 00:26:40.029 of care so it's my concerns about consent am 00:26:40.029 --> 00:26:43.589 I projecting my concerns about consent onto that 00:26:43.869 --> 00:26:46.950 onto that learner when actually they just want 00:26:46.950 --> 00:26:52.490 their needs care overrides that i think you are 00:26:52.490 --> 00:26:56.130 a beautiful teacher for having these concerns 00:26:56.130 --> 00:26:58.130 that just shows your heart is in the right place 00:26:58.130 --> 00:26:59.950 but i think ultimately it isn't your responsibility 00:26:59.950 --> 00:27:02.549 to make these choices it comes down to the parents 00:27:02.549 --> 00:27:05.609 or carers to make these choices and it just comes 00:27:05.609 --> 00:27:07.990 down to again having a really great relationship 00:27:07.990 --> 00:27:11.289 with them and i think parents would really appreciate 00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:14.880 being asked yeah when they are asleep what do 00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:19.359 you want us to do and us just having to do that 00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:22.799 and trust that the parent knows best in the situation 00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:26.119 and that helps me sleep at night knowing you 00:27:26.119 --> 00:27:28.500 know the person that knows and loves them best 00:27:28.500 --> 00:27:31.000 has made this decision yeah absolutely and if 00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:32.819 it makes me feel really uncomfortable then we 00:27:32.819 --> 00:27:34.859 can have another conversation about it absolutely 00:27:34.859 --> 00:27:38.650 ultimately I just think that just takes off a 00:27:38.650 --> 00:27:40.490 huge amount of pressure and responsibility from 00:27:40.490 --> 00:27:43.170 our shoulders and gives it to the parents and 00:27:43.170 --> 00:27:45.049 guardians who should be making those choices 00:27:45.049 --> 00:27:49.549 for their children. Yeah. And sometimes I think 00:27:49.549 --> 00:27:52.049 as well, it can depend sort of week on week as 00:27:52.049 --> 00:27:54.369 well. You might have a learner who's sleeping 00:27:54.369 --> 00:27:56.130 all day because they haven't slept all night. 00:27:56.190 --> 00:27:57.849 And in that particular instance, that parent 00:27:57.849 --> 00:27:59.490 might actually say, do you know what, please 00:27:59.490 --> 00:28:02.269 just let them sleep. they they need their sleep 00:28:02.269 --> 00:28:05.150 just leave them to it whereas another week it 00:28:05.150 --> 00:28:07.289 might be completely different and they might 00:28:07.289 --> 00:28:09.829 actually need that yeah they might need that 00:28:09.829 --> 00:28:12.089 stimulation actually it might get them it might 00:28:12.089 --> 00:28:14.410 wake them up but it's oh it's just it's balance 00:28:14.410 --> 00:28:17.289 isn't it yeah it's hard it's something that we're 00:28:17.289 --> 00:28:19.430 constantly asking ourselves though isn't it is 00:28:19.430 --> 00:28:22.200 you know what's right in this situation because 00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:24.700 we can't ask them same for i had a conversation 00:28:24.700 --> 00:28:26.759 with parents and just before breaking up actually 00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:30.099 they've got an upcoming possible medical intervention 00:28:30.099 --> 00:28:32.799 but it's the parents decision to go ahead with 00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:35.150 it or not which is a huge responsibility for 00:28:35.150 --> 00:28:36.950 the parents and they were asking my advice and 00:28:36.950 --> 00:28:39.269 god that's you know what a conversation to have 00:28:39.269 --> 00:28:42.069 you know and there's no right or wrong in this 00:28:42.069 --> 00:28:45.089 situation ultimately there are risks with both 00:28:45.089 --> 00:28:48.049 and there are benefits possible benefits with 00:28:48.049 --> 00:28:51.819 both and you just have to sit with your decision 00:28:51.819 --> 00:28:54.940 you've made I suppose and and but it's amazing 00:28:54.940 --> 00:28:58.299 that we have these conversations regularly and 00:28:58.299 --> 00:29:00.660 that we're involved in these and ultimately you 00:29:00.660 --> 00:29:03.359 do just have to make the best gut choice and 00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:06.180 with the professional's advice that you've got 00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:10.019 access to and live with your decision ultimately