WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.680 Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education 00:00:02.680 --> 00:00:06.160 teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:09.119 communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson 00:00:09.119 --> 00:00:11.660 ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged 00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:15.300 4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in 00:00:15.300 --> 00:00:17.640 the field answering your questions and sharing 00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:19.559 our knowledge and experience working alongside 00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:22.579 our beautiful young people. Let's get started. 00:00:27.879 --> 00:00:31.570 Lovely. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the 00:00:31.570 --> 00:00:34.049 Sensory Classroom podcast. My name is Jordan, 00:00:34.189 --> 00:00:37.049 and today I am joined by Sarah, who is a parent 00:00:37.049 --> 00:00:40.329 and psychotherapist and a mother to an 11 -year 00:00:40.329 --> 00:00:43.630 -old daughter, Mia, who is dyslexic and neurodivergent. 00:00:43.810 --> 00:00:46.670 And we're going to talk to her about Mia and 00:00:46.670 --> 00:00:49.310 her own journey in parenthood, but through that 00:00:49.310 --> 00:00:53.770 psychotherapist lens today. Hello, Sarah. Hello, 00:00:53.890 --> 00:00:56.500 Jordan. Thank you for having me. Thank you so 00:00:56.500 --> 00:00:58.659 much for being here. I was really interested 00:00:58.659 --> 00:01:02.719 in your offer to come onto the podcast and to 00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:06.579 learn more about you as a parent and going through 00:01:06.579 --> 00:01:10.340 the fight of finding a suitable education for 00:01:10.340 --> 00:01:12.680 your daughter and all of that. And I'm sure lots 00:01:12.680 --> 00:01:15.140 of parents can relate to that. But through the 00:01:15.140 --> 00:01:17.719 psychotherapist lens, I find really interesting. 00:01:18.319 --> 00:01:20.000 Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:22.159 first, please, so that we can kind of know where 00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:24.980 you're coming from in all of this? Yeah, OK, 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:27.939 so I was in the health and fitness industry for 00:01:27.939 --> 00:01:30.959 over 30 years and I used to have a gym as well. 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:34.640 And I've always wanted to train as a psychotherapist 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:39.040 from when I was about 20 and my own mental health. 00:01:39.079 --> 00:01:41.799 I was sectioned when I was 20 and I had a really 00:01:41.799 --> 00:01:45.159 good clinician, which was amazing. So I always 00:01:45.159 --> 00:01:46.980 want to be a psychotherapist. But when I was 00:01:46.980 --> 00:01:50.379 at school. About age nine, I showed interest 00:01:50.379 --> 00:01:53.239 in wanting to be a PE teacher and an English 00:01:53.239 --> 00:01:55.980 teacher. I was very, very good at school. And 00:01:55.980 --> 00:01:58.879 at the time, the teacher told me to stay in my 00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:01.959 own lane. And I didn't quite know what that meant. 00:02:02.099 --> 00:02:04.719 And also at school, unfortunately for me, at 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:08.020 the time in the 70s, I was dyslexic, but I didn't 00:02:08.020 --> 00:02:10.900 know that. And the teachers, unfortunately, back 00:02:10.900 --> 00:02:14.439 then used to call me thick, used to kind of humiliate 00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:17.310 me in class. And that put me off academia for 00:02:17.310 --> 00:02:19.150 the rest of my life. And I just followed the 00:02:19.150 --> 00:02:22.289 journey, the path of sport. I was very good on 00:02:22.289 --> 00:02:24.550 the verge of becoming an international javelin 00:02:24.550 --> 00:02:27.310 thrower. And then I got injured. I decided I 00:02:27.310 --> 00:02:30.409 didn't want to do that. Trained as a PT. Did 00:02:30.409 --> 00:02:33.169 that for multiple years. Where I lived, unfortunately, 00:02:33.229 --> 00:02:37.430 there was a fire in Grenfell where I was born 00:02:37.430 --> 00:02:41.219 and raised. And I had friends. who I lost, and 00:02:41.219 --> 00:02:43.539 I had friends who had family members that were 00:02:43.539 --> 00:02:46.439 lost in the fire. And I remember one of my friends 00:02:46.439 --> 00:02:48.659 said to me, you've always wanted to be a therapist. 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:51.379 Why don't you go and train and bring it back 00:02:51.379 --> 00:02:55.060 to the community? That's what I did. Yeah, that's 00:02:55.060 --> 00:02:57.659 what I did. And through my training, still I 00:02:57.659 --> 00:02:59.819 did not know I was dyslexic. It was only at 48 00:02:59.819 --> 00:03:03.319 I found out when one of the tutors said, you 00:03:03.319 --> 00:03:06.460 write beautifully, your essays, these are postgraduate, 00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:10.000 mind you, but you can't spell for shit. So my 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:13.840 language and your grammar. You know, it was a 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:17.560 ha ha moment because even throughout the training, 00:03:17.699 --> 00:03:20.560 I was struggling. I was struggling to keep up 00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:22.199 with the reading. I was struggling to keep up 00:03:22.199 --> 00:03:24.639 with the essays. And I thought it was me. I thought 00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:27.539 I was done. You know, all of those stories that 00:03:27.539 --> 00:03:31.300 my teachers told me were coming true. On reflection, 00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:35.129 I wasn't. I was dyslexic. And then once I found 00:03:35.129 --> 00:03:38.310 that out at 48, I just flew with it and I went 00:03:38.310 --> 00:03:41.590 on to do a master's. Wow. So what support needed 00:03:41.590 --> 00:03:44.310 to be in place? Because it's not just knowing, 00:03:44.389 --> 00:03:47.069 is it? What support did you access to enable 00:03:47.069 --> 00:03:50.550 you to do that? Well, what was really good, I 00:03:50.550 --> 00:03:53.990 got more time with my essays. I got help at my 00:03:53.990 --> 00:03:58.969 institution. Yeah, I got so much resources that 00:03:58.969 --> 00:04:02.419 it felt like. I could just fly through these 00:04:02.419 --> 00:04:05.539 papers. I got instruments. I got equipment to 00:04:05.539 --> 00:04:09.400 help me read better. I got reflected lenses and 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:12.680 cards. There was so much. It opened up a whole 00:04:12.680 --> 00:04:14.819 new world to me, but it made me really quite 00:04:14.819 --> 00:04:19.560 confident. Yeah. And achieve what you could achieve, 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:22.480 right? And that's the point, that it's the knowing 00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:25.279 and the resources and the scaffolding in place. 00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:27.759 to help you achieve what you need to and then 00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:30.139 support others as well, ultimately, because without 00:04:30.139 --> 00:04:32.399 all that support, you wouldn't then be there 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:36.120 to support. So then let's talk about your advocacy 00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:38.459 then with your daughter, because you understanding 00:04:38.459 --> 00:04:40.899 more about yourself, I assume, has helped you 00:04:40.899 --> 00:04:43.259 to navigate your daughter's needs as well. Can 00:04:43.259 --> 00:04:45.160 you tell us a little bit about that? Well, yeah, 00:04:45.180 --> 00:04:47.699 my daughter's got dyslexia and it was during 00:04:47.699 --> 00:04:51.899 lockdown I was helping her to read and obviously 00:04:51.899 --> 00:04:54.800 being dyslexic myself. I was starting to identify 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:57.720 similarities, what she was doing. And we went 00:04:57.720 --> 00:04:59.500 back to the school and the school said because 00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:01.600 of the lockdown, and obviously we were teaching 00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:04.439 her at home, to wait a short period to get her 00:05:04.439 --> 00:05:07.019 assessed. Because it could have just been because 00:05:07.019 --> 00:05:10.459 of the lockdown and catch up. But I knew, I knew 00:05:10.459 --> 00:05:12.639 in my heart she was dyslexic. So she got diagnosed 00:05:12.639 --> 00:05:17.980 in 2023, which the school were amazing at helping, 00:05:18.060 --> 00:05:22.199 but they had limited resources. Mia is also very, 00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.839 very creative. So she loves to sing, dance and 00:05:24.839 --> 00:05:28.519 act. And this is how I think, you know, she masked 00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:32.180 a lot of her dyslexia at school. And at the time, 00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:35.100 she was doing a part time class at a performing 00:05:35.100 --> 00:05:37.939 arts school. I can mention it, Sylvia Young. 00:05:38.500 --> 00:05:40.540 And, you know, she said she would like to go 00:05:40.540 --> 00:05:43.100 for an audition. And I was like, oh, I don't 00:05:43.100 --> 00:05:45.560 know about that. Not from the sort of acting 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:47.480 and singing perspective, but you have to do two 00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:49.579 written pieces, a contemporary and a Shakespeare. 00:05:50.540 --> 00:05:54.180 Mia's never, never at that time read Shakespeare. 00:05:55.079 --> 00:05:57.339 So that was my own bias coming through, thinking 00:05:57.339 --> 00:05:59.060 she had dyslexia, she wouldn't be able to achieve 00:05:59.060 --> 00:06:01.980 it. Right. The contemporary was a lot harder 00:06:01.980 --> 00:06:04.379 than the Shakespeare. She literally nailed Puck 00:06:04.379 --> 00:06:08.839 in no more than about four hours. And I was absolutely 00:06:08.839 --> 00:06:11.939 blown away. And I think it's the rhythm of Shakespeare. 00:06:12.439 --> 00:06:15.959 Interesting. To me... I'm not dyslexic, but I 00:06:15.959 --> 00:06:18.579 really struggle to memorise. My memory is really 00:06:18.579 --> 00:06:20.980 poor. So, yeah, me trying to learn Shakespeare 00:06:20.980 --> 00:06:23.459 felt really impossible. So that's so interesting 00:06:23.459 --> 00:06:26.560 that the rhythm helped her to navigate that quite 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:30.680 complex language. Believe it or not, I actually 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:32.779 didn't think she would get it. I really didn't, 00:06:32.779 --> 00:06:34.680 because I didn't get it myself. I could read 00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:37.399 Shakespeare, I'll pluck. But literally within 00:06:37.399 --> 00:06:39.019 three, four hours, she came back to me and said, 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:40.759 Mummy, I'm ready to record. And I was like... 00:06:40.990 --> 00:06:43.829 Really? Okay, well, let's try a first take. She 00:06:43.829 --> 00:06:46.230 nailed it in the first take. And since then, 00:06:46.269 --> 00:06:48.550 she's been reading Shakespeare. She got into 00:06:48.550 --> 00:06:50.269 the school. She auditioned and she got in. She 00:06:50.269 --> 00:06:52.870 got a place. And she's been there since September. 00:06:53.230 --> 00:06:54.850 For anyone who doesn't know, this is an incredibly 00:06:54.850 --> 00:06:58.410 prestigious school. Lots of the actors that you 00:06:58.410 --> 00:07:01.709 will have heard of will have been to Sylvia Young. 00:07:01.850 --> 00:07:03.810 So it's a very prestigious school in London, 00:07:03.930 --> 00:07:06.459 yeah. And, you know, some of our friends and 00:07:06.459 --> 00:07:08.040 family and people that know us are like, oh, 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:09.540 do you want her to be a singer or a dancer and 00:07:09.540 --> 00:07:11.300 that's a performer? Actually, I don't think she 00:07:11.300 --> 00:07:12.860 wants to be that. She's actually said she wants 00:07:12.860 --> 00:07:17.100 to be a lawyer. But what the school does is that 00:07:17.100 --> 00:07:20.959 Monday to Wednesday is academia and then Thursday 00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:23.660 to Friday is vocational. So the week is split. 00:07:24.379 --> 00:07:28.040 So Mia can pay attention to the academia and 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:30.259 then she can forget about that and then she can 00:07:30.259 --> 00:07:32.319 concentrate on her singing, dancing and acting. 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:35.560 And since she's been there, I mean, I'm probably 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:37.959 going to get emotional now. Mia's 10 going on 00:07:37.959 --> 00:07:41.160 11. And for the last probably three years, Mia 00:07:41.160 --> 00:07:44.500 hasn't slept properly. You know, she would get 00:07:44.500 --> 00:07:46.279 up two or three times in the night. She'd go 00:07:46.279 --> 00:07:48.079 to bed at midnight, one o 'clock in the morning, 00:07:48.139 --> 00:07:51.199 no matter what I put in place. And since starting 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:54.300 this school and this structure, Mia goes to bed 00:07:54.300 --> 00:07:56.740 at 9 .30, which is as good as it's going to get 00:07:56.740 --> 00:07:58.959 for a neurodiverse child or for Mia at least. 00:07:59.279 --> 00:08:03.019 And she sleeps through. She does not get up and 00:08:03.019 --> 00:08:06.060 she comes home and the things she tells me, the 00:08:06.060 --> 00:08:08.660 academic things she's learning, Greek mythology, 00:08:08.939 --> 00:08:11.439 all of these things, I'm like, oh my God, she's 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:14.600 actually enjoying learning. She does her homework 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:18.259 independently. It's just, it's not about being 00:08:18.259 --> 00:08:21.920 famous and shishish and it's not that. So what's 00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:25.199 the difference? Is it that she, is it that her 00:08:25.199 --> 00:08:29.600 interests are? being validated is it that her 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:32.299 peers are have the same interests as her is it 00:08:32.299 --> 00:08:33.879 any support and strategies in place what are 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:36.100 they doing that's different that she wasn't offered 00:08:36.100 --> 00:08:38.820 in mainstream school well for start there's only 00:08:38.820 --> 00:08:42.059 11 other children in her class okay and huge 00:08:42.059 --> 00:08:45.480 difference very stark difference and the majority 00:08:45.480 --> 00:08:47.279 of the children not all of them but there's quite 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:49.299 a few children with neurodiversities and it's 00:08:49.299 --> 00:08:53.070 embraced It's celebrated. There's no shame around 00:08:53.070 --> 00:08:55.629 it. She'll get up in class and she'll say, she'll 00:08:55.629 --> 00:08:58.250 do a speech and she can't say a word and she'll 00:08:58.250 --> 00:08:59.809 just turn to her peer and say, what does that 00:08:59.809 --> 00:09:03.210 say? The teachers are probably neurodivergent 00:09:03.210 --> 00:09:05.509 too or the teachers are probably dyslexic too 00:09:05.509 --> 00:09:07.750 because it's really common, isn't it, with dyslexia 00:09:07.750 --> 00:09:09.250 that it's like the creative side of your brain 00:09:09.250 --> 00:09:11.529 really flourishes, left side of brain thinkers, 00:09:11.669 --> 00:09:15.210 if you will. And lots of the teachers I can assume 00:09:15.210 --> 00:09:18.330 would be able to relate to Mia in a lot of ways 00:09:18.330 --> 00:09:21.700 that her brain works. English teachers dyslexic. 00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:24.759 Right. That's so cool, isn't it? That's so cool. 00:09:24.940 --> 00:09:28.960 And I do advocate for adults and mentors and 00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:31.379 any adults in children's lives to be really open 00:09:31.379 --> 00:09:35.299 with any diagnosis that they have, because it 00:09:35.299 --> 00:09:38.379 really does show the children that it isn't a 00:09:38.379 --> 00:09:42.159 barrier. It doesn't have to limit you. It's just 00:09:42.159 --> 00:09:44.179 you maybe need some more support strategies or 00:09:44.179 --> 00:09:46.820 a different way of doing it. in order to achieve 00:09:46.820 --> 00:09:50.179 that's so wonderful to hear that you found her 00:09:50.179 --> 00:09:52.500 school because i can only imagine like how her 00:09:52.500 --> 00:09:54.259 journey would have gone it's almost like a crossroads 00:09:54.259 --> 00:09:55.820 isn't it can i imagine how her journey would 00:09:55.820 --> 00:09:58.460 have gone had she still been in mainstream 30 00:09:58.460 --> 00:10:03.139 plus children busy um yeah just less i say it's 00:10:03.139 --> 00:10:06.500 advocacy and celebration of her neurodivergence 00:10:07.149 --> 00:10:10.070 And, you know, being in a smaller school is better 00:10:10.070 --> 00:10:12.950 for Mia. There's only 250 pupils as opposed to 00:10:12.950 --> 00:10:15.610 mainstream, which is usually 900 to 1 ,000 pupils. 00:10:15.950 --> 00:10:18.210 And even though she's dyslexic, we're waiting 00:10:18.210 --> 00:10:21.090 for an assessment for autism because I do know 00:10:21.090 --> 00:10:23.330 Mia's got autism. It's just a formality you have 00:10:23.330 --> 00:10:25.350 to go through. But I know I've kept journals. 00:10:25.409 --> 00:10:27.230 I've always kept journals my whole life myself, 00:10:27.370 --> 00:10:31.330 but I've kept a journal from 2023 up until today 00:10:31.330 --> 00:10:34.830 and continue about Mia. And I see how she used 00:10:34.830 --> 00:10:38.529 to interact at her previous school with regards 00:10:38.529 --> 00:10:41.330 to her peers. There was a lot of masking. There 00:10:41.330 --> 00:10:43.230 was a lot of her going to playdates and having 00:10:43.230 --> 00:10:47.909 to survey and see where she fitted in. As well, 00:10:47.909 --> 00:10:50.529 I don't see that at her current school. That's 00:10:50.529 --> 00:10:52.389 really interesting, isn't it? She obviously feels 00:10:52.389 --> 00:10:55.029 safe enough to be herself because it's accepted. 00:10:55.490 --> 00:10:58.769 Yeah, masking is really common with girls with 00:10:58.769 --> 00:11:02.429 autism, women with autism. They camouflage their... 00:11:02.990 --> 00:11:06.110 themselves to fit into different social groups 00:11:06.110 --> 00:11:08.350 and it can be really detrimental to their own 00:11:08.350 --> 00:11:12.149 mental health and to them yeah to them feeling 00:11:12.149 --> 00:11:16.549 feel fully feeling part of the group and scene 00:11:16.549 --> 00:11:19.769 and that can be really detrimental to their social 00:11:19.769 --> 00:11:22.730 groups but also relationships too if they're 00:11:22.730 --> 00:11:25.090 constantly changing themselves to be what the 00:11:25.090 --> 00:11:26.389 other person wants me to be it can make them 00:11:26.389 --> 00:11:30.559 incredibly vulnerable yeah And also at the previous 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:32.379 school, because, you know, they were really good, 00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:35.340 but under -resourced and multiple children, 30 00:11:35.340 --> 00:11:37.759 plus in the class. But if Mia ever wants a pit 00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:40.519 stop, we call them pit stops, time out, she can 00:11:40.519 --> 00:11:42.860 actually remove herself from the class without 00:11:42.860 --> 00:11:46.159 being penalised for that or judged for that and 00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:48.179 take five or 10 minutes and then come back in. 00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:52.559 Yeah. Yeah. It's such a manageable strategy, 00:11:52.679 --> 00:11:55.250 isn't it? Let's talk about your journey with 00:11:55.250 --> 00:11:58.289 this then, because I want, I'm wondering from 00:11:58.289 --> 00:12:02.870 a psychotherapist lens, the family, the weight 00:12:02.870 --> 00:12:07.929 of a family carrying that, you know, navigating 00:12:07.929 --> 00:12:11.269 the ROM setting and not necessarily having a 00:12:11.269 --> 00:12:14.450 choice before she got her new school. What kind 00:12:14.450 --> 00:12:17.799 of... What happened for you? What did that feel 00:12:17.799 --> 00:12:19.980 like for you? And how did you navigate that? 00:12:20.340 --> 00:12:22.360 I mean, being a psychotherapist, I have tools 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:25.419 and resources. But when I look back on some of 00:12:25.419 --> 00:12:29.220 my journals, it was almost like being really 00:12:29.220 --> 00:12:35.220 isolated, cased in a single cubicle and sort 00:12:35.220 --> 00:12:38.279 of trying to bang on these walls, doors to be 00:12:38.279 --> 00:12:41.899 let free or for someone to hear me. And, you 00:12:41.899 --> 00:12:43.279 know, as I said, we're waiting for an assessment, 00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:46.320 but you know. You know your child and it's almost 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:49.960 like you have to jump through so many hoops for 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:52.519 so long for them to tell you what's innate in 00:12:52.519 --> 00:12:54.980 you that you know, especially when you've been 00:12:54.980 --> 00:12:58.460 keeping journals. Yeah. Yeah. The evidence is 00:12:58.460 --> 00:13:01.179 there. The evidence is clear. And still yet they 00:13:01.179 --> 00:13:04.419 ask you to wait and monitor and report. Yeah, 00:13:04.519 --> 00:13:08.090 it's frustrating. And what tools, if there's 00:13:08.090 --> 00:13:10.330 parents listening here that are in exactly that 00:13:10.330 --> 00:13:13.070 space, in that cubicle, banging on those walls 00:13:13.070 --> 00:13:15.309 and relentless cubicles as well. You just get 00:13:15.309 --> 00:13:16.950 through one door and then you find yourself in 00:13:16.950 --> 00:13:19.889 another cubicle. It's relentless. Are there any 00:13:19.889 --> 00:13:22.470 strategies or support systems that you could 00:13:22.470 --> 00:13:25.649 suggest that could help them? Actually, yeah, 00:13:25.710 --> 00:13:28.820 I mean. Given my time, I've kept a journal and 00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:31.519 I've taken strands from that journal and I've 00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:34.139 sort of compiled a self -care guide for parents 00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:36.799 with special needs because within my practice, 00:13:36.860 --> 00:13:40.279 I do have a lot of parents who come to me with 00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:42.960 children who have special needs and I also have 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:44.980 a lot of parents themselves who have special 00:13:44.980 --> 00:13:47.980 needs. So you have that sort of like a special 00:13:47.980 --> 00:13:50.600 needs child and you also have special needs hitting 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:53.870 each other as well, which is another layer. So 00:13:53.870 --> 00:13:57.429 for me, I've sort of compiled sort of top 10 00:13:57.429 --> 00:14:01.470 things to think about. And one is your mental 00:14:01.470 --> 00:14:04.950 health and protecting your mental health. And 00:14:04.950 --> 00:14:07.789 for me, it was letting go of being a perfect 00:14:07.789 --> 00:14:13.610 parent. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's powerful. So often 00:14:13.610 --> 00:14:15.350 we need to be everybody. We need to wear every 00:14:15.350 --> 00:14:18.690 hat. We need to. be everything that everybody 00:14:18.690 --> 00:14:22.470 else is failing our child without just recognizing 00:14:22.470 --> 00:14:26.230 that we're already everything they need us to 00:14:26.230 --> 00:14:29.230 be. That is so powerful. Yeah. And there's a 00:14:29.230 --> 00:14:32.549 great clinician, a psychotherapist, Donald Winnicott, 00:14:32.610 --> 00:14:36.690 that says The Good Enough Parent, which is a 00:14:36.690 --> 00:14:39.250 really good book to read. So, you know, I've 00:14:39.250 --> 00:14:41.049 learned I've had good days and bad days. I'll 00:14:41.049 --> 00:14:43.529 have good days and bad days. I'll feel frustrated. 00:14:44.409 --> 00:14:48.529 I feel I don't have all the answers. And that's 00:14:48.529 --> 00:14:52.629 okay. I ask for help. I have my own therapist 00:14:52.629 --> 00:14:55.730 for this reason. I am a therapist, but I also 00:14:55.730 --> 00:14:58.129 have my own therapist for this reason. So I will 00:14:58.129 --> 00:15:01.970 always ask for help. Yeah, that's a great first 00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:07.029 strategy. Acceptance. Accept what you can do 00:15:07.029 --> 00:15:10.309 that is realistic. And you're probably doing 00:15:10.309 --> 00:15:14.590 a lot. Yeah. Amazing. What else is on the list? 00:15:15.179 --> 00:15:17.940 Learn about your child's needs, but I would, 00:15:18.059 --> 00:15:20.860 from my own experience, not overwhelm yourself. 00:15:21.740 --> 00:15:25.139 Because obviously I would delve deep into manuals 00:15:25.139 --> 00:15:28.279 and books and go online and listen to all of 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:31.019 that. And it can be quite overwhelming. And I 00:15:31.019 --> 00:15:34.440 would say, you know your child. Yeah. You know 00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:37.340 your child. Yeah, you're the expert in them. 00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:41.740 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And even when you're 00:15:41.740 --> 00:15:45.419 told your child is dyslexic or has autism or 00:15:45.419 --> 00:15:49.019 ADHD, it's vast. It's not the same for everybody. 00:15:49.860 --> 00:15:54.500 So I take what Mia has and I adapt to our nuclear 00:15:54.500 --> 00:15:57.480 family, our living arrangements, our relationship. 00:15:58.460 --> 00:16:00.980 Yeah. Yeah, and a lot of those strategies that 00:16:00.980 --> 00:16:02.460 work, you've probably already found them even 00:16:02.460 --> 00:16:04.139 though you didn't know why or how they work. 00:16:04.990 --> 00:16:07.470 You're probably already doing it. I see parents 00:16:07.470 --> 00:16:10.309 a lot that are naturally doing the things that 00:16:10.309 --> 00:16:13.090 I support parents to do because they've found 00:16:13.090 --> 00:16:15.370 their way, because they're the expert in their 00:16:15.370 --> 00:16:17.610 child and what their child needs. It's a really 00:16:17.610 --> 00:16:20.769 cool point. Yeah. And I would say find your people, 00:16:20.909 --> 00:16:24.830 find your tribe, people you can connect to, other 00:16:24.830 --> 00:16:29.210 parents, support groups, podcasts like this. 00:16:30.009 --> 00:16:32.789 So important to find your tribe and your allies. 00:16:33.250 --> 00:16:35.330 Yeah. Because it can be lonely and isolating. 00:16:35.809 --> 00:16:37.490 At least there's other people in the cubicle 00:16:37.490 --> 00:16:40.909 with you then. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And 00:16:40.909 --> 00:16:45.009 also just take time. Mia has pit stops, but so 00:16:45.009 --> 00:16:51.190 do I. Yeah. So to have a coffee, a tea, just 00:16:51.190 --> 00:16:55.409 sit and do nothing, which is something. Yeah. 00:16:55.409 --> 00:16:57.350 And know that that's enough. That's still part 00:16:57.350 --> 00:17:00.669 of the support of your child. It's not selfish. 00:17:01.570 --> 00:17:05.450 Yeah. No. Self -care, a lot of mums particularly, 00:17:05.690 --> 00:17:08.730 but dads as well, think self -care is being selfish. 00:17:09.450 --> 00:17:12.990 But I always say, if the pot is empty and it's 00:17:12.990 --> 00:17:15.450 not replenished, how can anyone dip into it? 00:17:16.549 --> 00:17:19.289 Yeah, it's that co -regulation, isn't it? How 00:17:19.289 --> 00:17:22.170 could they be regulated if you're not regulated? 00:17:23.230 --> 00:17:25.990 It works both ways, doesn't it? So you helping 00:17:25.990 --> 00:17:29.569 yourself helps them. It's allowing that. It's 00:17:29.569 --> 00:17:35.519 giving yourself grace. in that yeah because also 00:17:35.519 --> 00:17:38.480 more often than not the parents of neurodivergent 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.779 children are neurodivergent themselves whether 00:17:40.779 --> 00:17:43.119 you know it or not and you need those breaks 00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:46.480 it's crucial to your whole psyche and survival 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:51.680 that you take that regulation yeah and also just 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.299 you know talk about your hard feelings and you 00:17:54.299 --> 00:17:58.900 know with a therapist or a close friend or a 00:17:58.900 --> 00:18:02.500 support group or just to yourself in a journal. 00:18:03.420 --> 00:18:06.519 Sometimes allowing yourself to say the things 00:18:06.519 --> 00:18:09.680 you feel releases something. It's okay to feel 00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:13.960 guilty. Yeah, it's okay to feel sad, to feel 00:18:13.960 --> 00:18:18.500 angry and annoyed at the situation. Yeah, it's 00:18:18.500 --> 00:18:21.099 okay. And I think to allow yourself to feel that 00:18:21.099 --> 00:18:24.019 and speak that in whatever shape or form will 00:18:24.019 --> 00:18:26.700 release something, lifts go of something. Yeah. 00:18:27.319 --> 00:18:30.180 And then I wonder if that will help you to use 00:18:30.180 --> 00:18:36.940 that as fuel to help, you know, continue fighting. 00:18:37.259 --> 00:18:41.099 We could let it out to safe people in a safe 00:18:41.099 --> 00:18:43.599 way, in a way that feels safe for you rather 00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:45.240 than, you know, it's going to come out somewhere, 00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.359 isn't it? So rather than to your caseworker who 00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:52.329 then isn't going to help your case at all. You 00:18:52.329 --> 00:18:54.109 can let it out to a friend in a safe environment, 00:18:54.250 --> 00:18:57.190 non -judgmental, and receive what you need to 00:18:57.190 --> 00:19:00.170 receive after that to then use that as fuel to 00:19:00.170 --> 00:19:02.869 fight the caseworker and advocate for your child. 00:19:03.730 --> 00:19:08.309 Absolutely. Absolutely. And advocate and, you 00:19:08.309 --> 00:19:11.049 know, I've learned also now not to fight every 00:19:11.049 --> 00:19:14.930 battle, to choose my battles wisely. Yeah, so 00:19:14.930 --> 00:19:20.569 to recognise what to let go of right now. Not 00:19:20.569 --> 00:19:24.009 yet, maybe. What's the biggest thing for your 00:19:24.009 --> 00:19:27.650 child? Yeah. And just to choose wisely what's 00:19:27.650 --> 00:19:30.809 most important and to get help and support in 00:19:30.809 --> 00:19:33.049 that battle. You don't have to do it solely by 00:19:33.049 --> 00:19:35.970 yourself. Right. There are many organisations 00:19:35.970 --> 00:19:38.470 for people that can't necessarily advocate for 00:19:38.470 --> 00:19:41.970 themselves or can't maybe articulate or write, 00:19:42.049 --> 00:19:44.589 especially if they're neurodivergent, etc. There's 00:19:44.589 --> 00:19:47.269 so many resources that we have that can compile 00:19:47.269 --> 00:19:50.309 an email that you can send out. to whoever you 00:19:50.309 --> 00:19:54.029 need to send out yeah yeah there's been two organizations 00:19:54.029 --> 00:19:57.109 on this podcast actually so if that if that sounds 00:19:57.109 --> 00:19:59.890 like you and that's a huge limit to you um a 00:19:59.890 --> 00:20:02.769 disability social worker can help you or kate 00:20:02.769 --> 00:20:06.829 or um an early help hub support can help you 00:20:06.829 --> 00:20:09.809 or there's also sos cn that have been on this 00:20:09.809 --> 00:20:11.269 podcast that can help you and there's also a 00:20:11.269 --> 00:20:13.250 lawyer who specializes in hdps that's been on 00:20:13.250 --> 00:20:15.369 this podcast that can also help you so and they 00:20:15.369 --> 00:20:19.519 all offer free or affordable You know, it doesn't 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:21.839 have to be a postcode lottery. It doesn't have 00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:24.400 to be only the elite get this support. There 00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:26.140 are loads of amazing charities out there that 00:20:26.140 --> 00:20:28.559 are doing this really important work so that 00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.779 you can advocate for your child with the tools 00:20:30.779 --> 00:20:35.200 kit that you need to continue. Yeah. And also 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:38.559 I found, remember, I'm not just a carer. I mean, 00:20:38.579 --> 00:20:40.880 we're carers anyway, just as parents, but there's 00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:43.140 another layer when you have a child with neurodiversity 00:20:43.140 --> 00:20:46.180 and you can, your identity sometimes for me was 00:20:46.180 --> 00:20:48.680 all wrapped up in that. and I had to remember 00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.920 I'm Sarah you know I'm a 53 year old woman with 00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:55.500 needs and desires and passions and interests 00:20:55.500 --> 00:20:59.779 of my own and to remember my identity because 00:20:59.779 --> 00:21:02.799 it did for a while get lost yeah I see that I 00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:05.640 see that in a lot of friends yeah how do you 00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:09.440 find that on that you know how do you navigate 00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:14.759 finding yourself again within this advocacy it's 00:21:14.759 --> 00:21:19.269 remembering At the core of me, you know, my hopes, 00:21:19.430 --> 00:21:22.230 my dreams, my desires, all the things I want 00:21:22.230 --> 00:21:26.930 for Mia, my loves to celebrate my own wins and 00:21:26.930 --> 00:21:29.710 gains, all the things I'm advocating for Mia 00:21:29.710 --> 00:21:32.450 and to try and do those occasionally or just 00:21:32.450 --> 00:21:36.869 acknowledge them. Yeah. Yeah. So true. Yeah, 00:21:36.930 --> 00:21:40.049 I guess that would also show Mia a great model 00:21:40.049 --> 00:21:43.470 as well. So even though you're doing it for yourself, 00:21:43.589 --> 00:21:46.660 you're also doing it for her too. Yeah. Yeah. 00:21:46.859 --> 00:21:50.700 Or you can justify it. Yeah. And just, you know, 00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:53.839 also just to celebrate the small wins, you know, 00:21:53.839 --> 00:21:55.980 literally waking up in the morning and me is 00:21:55.980 --> 00:21:59.779 refreshed and, hello, mummy, and gets up and 00:21:59.779 --> 00:22:01.420 goes straight to the bathroom and does everything 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:03.980 that's required of her without me having to ask 00:22:03.980 --> 00:22:09.519 is a massive win. Is a massive win. So celebrating 00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:12.609 those wins. Yeah, I guess that comes back to 00:22:12.609 --> 00:22:14.390 having a tribe as well, that you can celebrate 00:22:14.390 --> 00:22:16.829 those wins with the people that understand how 00:22:16.829 --> 00:22:20.569 big those little things are. Yeah, for sure. 00:22:20.670 --> 00:22:23.670 For sure. So, yeah, they're kind of my top tips. 00:22:23.890 --> 00:22:26.150 I have a daily self -care routine and checklist 00:22:26.150 --> 00:22:28.869 that I go through myself, which I always, you 00:22:28.869 --> 00:22:31.150 know, advocate for parents to do. You know, I 00:22:31.150 --> 00:22:32.609 try when I get up in the morning not to look 00:22:32.609 --> 00:22:34.250 at my phone and that's the first thing I don't 00:22:34.250 --> 00:22:37.230 want to do. I try to have a cup of tea and have 00:22:37.230 --> 00:22:40.039 a quiet moment before the day starts. And just 00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:42.480 pick one thing out of the day that I can focus 00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.759 on, big or small. Achieve it or not, just one 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:49.359 thing. The multiple things usually a mum with 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:52.240 a neurodiverse or dad has to think about. And 00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:54.700 to be in the moment. I've realised over the last 00:22:54.700 --> 00:22:57.279 two years, just really trying to stay in the 00:22:57.279 --> 00:23:00.839 moment. Yeah, I see that as a teacher actually. 00:23:00.980 --> 00:23:03.500 It's something really special with my autistic 00:23:03.500 --> 00:23:06.579 learners in particular. The high support needs 00:23:06.579 --> 00:23:09.759 autistic learners are always in the present moment. 00:23:10.019 --> 00:23:13.240 They're so reactive to what's in the now. And 00:23:13.240 --> 00:23:16.640 it's really beautiful to sit with them in that. 00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:18.920 And because they're in no rush to like, I don't 00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:20.380 know, sometimes get on with the next thing because 00:23:20.380 --> 00:23:22.480 they're looking through the dappled light in 00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:24.279 the trees or they're looking at their hand or 00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:26.500 they're really enjoying stimming with a ribbon. 00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:28.940 And they're fully in that moment, embracing the 00:23:28.940 --> 00:23:31.640 beauty of that moment. And it's really, it's 00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:35.690 such a great excuse as. a supporting adult to 00:23:35.690 --> 00:23:38.269 follow their lead with that and think do you 00:23:38.269 --> 00:23:41.230 know what yeah those shadows are beautiful or 00:23:41.230 --> 00:23:44.549 that moon is beautiful or yeah this bath water 00:23:44.549 --> 00:23:48.150 is so fun and rather than constantly thinking 00:23:48.150 --> 00:23:50.210 about what's next what's next what's next just 00:23:50.210 --> 00:23:55.170 take a pause and be led by them is the best part 00:23:55.170 --> 00:23:58.309 of my job that I get to call that my job, to 00:23:58.309 --> 00:24:01.869 be able to be led by them and take that pause 00:24:01.869 --> 00:24:04.670 and to actually look around me. Because so often 00:24:04.670 --> 00:24:10.670 we look, but we don't see. And to just see the 00:24:10.670 --> 00:24:13.250 beauty in the world. One of my parents said, 00:24:13.309 --> 00:24:15.210 oh, sorry, we're late today because we had to 00:24:15.210 --> 00:24:18.410 watch a bug cross the road and it took like half 00:24:18.410 --> 00:24:21.500 an hour. I think there is so much beauty in the 00:24:21.500 --> 00:24:23.960 world that we miss because we're always so in 00:24:23.960 --> 00:24:25.819 a rush. We're always thinking like, what's next? 00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:28.480 What's next? What's next? And so often our high 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:31.599 support needs learners don't do that, which can 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:33.039 be frustrating when you're the adult trying to 00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:35.319 get them somewhere on time. Also, there is so 00:24:35.319 --> 00:24:38.200 much beauty in that. Yeah. And the thing as a 00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:40.960 parent, when you're advocating and you can juggle 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:42.980 looking after them sometimes and be like, no, 00:24:43.059 --> 00:24:46.359 this is what. beyond all the advocating and the 00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:49.440 letters. And this is actually what they need. 00:24:49.579 --> 00:24:52.440 It's really helping. Yeah, I guess. Because the 00:24:52.440 --> 00:24:54.799 long -term goal in your head is thinking, well, 00:24:54.859 --> 00:24:56.700 I need to find the right school and I need to 00:24:56.700 --> 00:24:58.640 finish that letter. I need to apply for this 00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:00.579 funding and I need to sort out the AAC. And oh 00:25:00.579 --> 00:25:02.160 my God, I haven't even printed those symbols 00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:04.299 yet. And I need to, like, that's where our heads 00:25:04.299 --> 00:25:07.059 are at. But actually the child just wants... 00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:09.759 a cuddle or they want their tv program on or 00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:11.319 they need their weighted blanket or they want 00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:13.619 their chewy or they want their routine or they 00:25:13.619 --> 00:25:16.660 want some toast and actually bringing yourself 00:25:16.660 --> 00:25:18.900 down to the current moment and what you what 00:25:18.900 --> 00:25:22.400 they need then and giving them that is also great 00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:25.609 that is also advocacy work isn't it One hundred 00:25:25.609 --> 00:25:27.349 percent. I mean, it was only, I think it was 00:25:27.349 --> 00:25:30.710 a few months ago, you know, I was knee high in 00:25:30.710 --> 00:25:33.750 paperwork, process notes, you know, trying to 00:25:33.750 --> 00:25:36.190 write grant applications. And it was about sort 00:25:36.190 --> 00:25:38.349 of 8 .30 at night and Mia wanted to go out in 00:25:38.349 --> 00:25:41.349 our pyjamas to go sit on the bench. And I don't 00:25:41.349 --> 00:25:43.990 know really what she wanted to do. She wanted 00:25:43.990 --> 00:25:45.890 to go sit on the bench, take her tap shoes and 00:25:45.890 --> 00:25:48.089 just show me routine. And I literally caught 00:25:48.089 --> 00:25:51.470 myself being like, no, I'm busy. But then I was 00:25:51.470 --> 00:25:54.809 like, no, actually. This is what I'm doing this 00:25:54.809 --> 00:25:58.490 for. Right. So, you know, I had to go outside 00:25:58.490 --> 00:26:01.549 and fix my hair and put my slippers on and sit 00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:03.450 on the bench, which worked out to be like 10, 00:26:03.470 --> 00:26:05.569 15 minutes. But I remember that and I'll always 00:26:05.569 --> 00:26:07.670 remember that, is that that's what she needed 00:26:07.670 --> 00:26:09.750 in the moment. This is what I'm doing all of 00:26:09.750 --> 00:26:12.869 this for. Absolutely. It's so easy to lose sight 00:26:12.869 --> 00:26:16.029 of that, isn't it? Yeah. For sure. For sure. 00:26:16.430 --> 00:26:21.150 That is such great advice. What changes would 00:26:21.150 --> 00:26:26.819 you want to see? in these systems that are set 00:26:26.819 --> 00:26:31.039 up? I mean, like you said, the school were brilliant, 00:26:31.099 --> 00:26:33.019 they just didn't have the resources. What changes 00:26:33.019 --> 00:26:35.380 do you want to see in order to support all children? 00:26:35.460 --> 00:26:37.599 Because not all children can go to a fantastic 00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:41.960 performing arts school. What needs to happen 00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.299 in order for all children to thrive and parents 00:26:45.299 --> 00:26:50.220 to thrive? I think we need to look at our schooling 00:26:50.220 --> 00:26:53.950 system. It's very classic academic. And, you 00:26:53.950 --> 00:26:56.670 know, academia is so important, but also the 00:26:56.670 --> 00:26:59.069 arts. I mean, the arts have been lost, absolutely 00:26:59.069 --> 00:27:02.289 lost, forgotten about in school. And I think 00:27:02.289 --> 00:27:04.190 we need to bring the arts back in and we need 00:27:04.190 --> 00:27:07.210 to think about how we teach our children, regardless 00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:10.710 if they have a neurodiversity or not. All children 00:27:10.710 --> 00:27:13.190 learn very differently. Everyone has a special 00:27:13.190 --> 00:27:17.349 niche, something. And we need to start to explore 00:27:17.349 --> 00:27:19.349 that in our school, in our system, our curriculum 00:27:19.349 --> 00:27:22.240 and academia and what that looks like. Yeah, 00:27:22.259 --> 00:27:24.180 I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more. 00:27:24.420 --> 00:27:27.099 There is so much that comes from the creative 00:27:27.099 --> 00:27:29.920 arts. I mean, I am a huge advocate in creative 00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:33.299 arts. My degree was in acting and my A -levels 00:27:33.299 --> 00:27:35.859 are in music, dance, drama and performing arts. 00:27:35.980 --> 00:27:38.339 So like I am a very creative arts person and 00:27:38.339 --> 00:27:40.799 it's never hindered me. It's helped me to go 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:43.319 through interviews. It's helped me advocate for 00:27:43.319 --> 00:27:45.920 myself. It's helped me do this kind of stuff, 00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:49.039 this advocacy work. It's helped me to communicate 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:52.880 with others about my advocacy work, you know, 00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:55.680 it's never closed doors. We even forget the acting 00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:58.099 and dance, you know, it's that confidence, it's 00:27:58.099 --> 00:28:00.680 that self -esteem, it's being able to articulate 00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:02.779 yourself, it's being able to relate to others, 00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:05.039 put yourself in somebody else's shoes and see 00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:07.900 how they feel, that empathy. There is so much 00:28:07.900 --> 00:28:11.079 important work with creative arts. I mean, there's 00:28:11.079 --> 00:28:14.720 a reason why back in the caves thousands of years 00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:20.359 ago that we had music and art. Even though we 00:28:20.359 --> 00:28:22.660 were in survival mode, me, Rick and Art were 00:28:22.660 --> 00:28:24.799 there because they are fundamental to our whole 00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:27.380 human makeup. They're really important to us. 00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:29.099 And yeah, we are losing sight of that in schools 00:28:29.099 --> 00:28:33.019 and it's a shame. Because no children will benefit. 00:28:33.259 --> 00:28:35.779 All children, arguably. All children will benefit, 00:28:35.940 --> 00:28:37.559 regardless if they're neurodiverse or not. I 00:28:37.559 --> 00:28:39.279 mean, if you just look at music and you look 00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:42.279 at my son likes to listen to urban and hip hop 00:28:42.279 --> 00:28:46.099 music. And, you know, it's the poetry. They're 00:28:46.099 --> 00:28:49.660 genius, the way they put... syllables and words 00:28:49.660 --> 00:28:53.779 and phrases together. You know, as old people, 00:28:53.779 --> 00:28:56.160 we look at it, oh no, that music's too loud and 00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:58.519 it's fierce. But if you sit and listen to some 00:28:58.519 --> 00:29:01.579 of these artists, absolutely brilliant. Yeah. 00:29:02.099 --> 00:29:05.519 Yeah. And great way to express yourself and explore 00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:07.299 these emotions. You know, we're talking about, 00:29:07.299 --> 00:29:09.700 you know, young men who aren't able to express 00:29:09.700 --> 00:29:12.140 themselves safely or support, you know, there's 00:29:12.140 --> 00:29:15.359 such poor mental health around males. And I wonder 00:29:15.359 --> 00:29:18.000 if... That would also support, you know, if they 00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:20.380 had a way to openly express themselves through 00:29:20.380 --> 00:29:24.000 the arts, might help and support them in that. 00:29:24.279 --> 00:29:27.539 Even in dance, from the oldest of time, we danced 00:29:27.539 --> 00:29:31.059 in conflict, we danced in battle. You know, if 00:29:31.059 --> 00:29:33.140 you take it right back to Brazilian slavery, 00:29:33.420 --> 00:29:35.259 this is how they danced to inform each other 00:29:35.259 --> 00:29:39.140 of danger. To speak and connect, communicate. 00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:43.450 Yeah, it's so part of art, isn't it? So important. 00:29:43.589 --> 00:29:46.130 Yeah, I am a huge advocate for that. I completely 00:29:46.130 --> 00:29:50.150 agree. And I guess teachers are controlled by 00:29:50.150 --> 00:29:52.789 the curriculum given by the government. But there 00:29:52.789 --> 00:29:56.009 is still there is still space for creativity. 00:29:56.349 --> 00:29:58.650 Yes, you have your English and maths and science 00:29:58.650 --> 00:30:03.329 topics to cover. But if we just think a little 00:30:03.329 --> 00:30:07.069 bit more creatively, we can infuse the creative 00:30:07.069 --> 00:30:09.730 arts through everything we do. I suppose it just 00:30:09.730 --> 00:30:12.859 takes a little bit more. thought thinking outside 00:30:12.859 --> 00:30:15.319 the box to enable us you know yes we might not 00:30:15.319 --> 00:30:17.519 have art on our timetable we might spend one 00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:21.599 art week every year yeah but we can infuse it 00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:24.960 into everything we do to in order to reach all 00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:28.559 peoples I mean if we can't pull it in the classroom 00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:31.920 we can certainly pull it on a tree to the classroom 00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:34.859 you know I sort of advocated to my daughter's 00:30:34.859 --> 00:30:36.940 previous school you know in the playground at 00:30:36.940 --> 00:30:39.579 break time why can't there be music You know, 00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:41.599 when we're going into class, why can't the teacher 00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:44.440 have music on so people can enter into class 00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:47.859 how they want to, how they choose? Why can't 00:30:47.859 --> 00:30:50.539 they have a poem or phrase they say as they enter 00:30:50.539 --> 00:30:53.599 or they leave? In the dinner halls, why can't 00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:55.440 we do a fame where we can dance in the dinner 00:30:55.440 --> 00:30:59.420 halls? Yeah, assembly, you know. Please. Yeah, 00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:03.180 yeah, it is. It's about, it comes from teachers 00:31:03.180 --> 00:31:06.809 first, doesn't it? and us advocating for that 00:31:06.809 --> 00:31:09.529 with with those in power because they don't control 00:31:09.529 --> 00:31:13.009 everything we do not yet we do still have that 00:31:13.009 --> 00:31:16.609 flexibility to be able to be um think creatively 00:31:16.609 --> 00:31:20.930 um yeah I love that so much as far as talking 00:31:20.930 --> 00:31:24.349 about Mia and her schooling I know you are you've 00:31:24.349 --> 00:31:26.690 got a campaign right now would you like to tell 00:31:26.690 --> 00:31:28.450 us a little bit more about that to share yeah 00:31:28.450 --> 00:31:30.490 so obviously Mia goes to an independent school 00:31:30.490 --> 00:31:34.049 and Sylvia Young and you know the fees are 20 00:31:34.049 --> 00:31:39.450 ,000 a year. So I'm a single mum of two and they're 00:31:39.450 --> 00:31:42.849 a lot. So I've started a crowdfunding page, which 00:31:42.849 --> 00:31:46.890 has been really wonderful with regards to supporting 00:31:46.890 --> 00:31:48.509 Mia because it's more than just a performing 00:31:48.509 --> 00:31:50.809 arts school. This is an environment for Mia. 00:31:50.930 --> 00:31:53.829 She will thrive. Yeah. As a young woman, she'll 00:31:53.829 --> 00:31:56.730 come out with so many resources and skills and 00:31:56.730 --> 00:32:00.289 confidence. And it's so good for her emotional 00:32:00.289 --> 00:32:03.500 state and physical state. Not just the academia 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:06.200 and the dancing and acting side. Mia, this suits 00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:09.460 her. It fits like a glove. And she's so much 00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:12.160 happier. Even her eczema. Mia used to have eczema, 00:32:12.279 --> 00:32:15.599 which was medicated by the doctors. She no longer 00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:18.940 has eczema. It's just, if I didn't have my journals 00:32:18.940 --> 00:32:22.700 to track this, I myself would be thinking, am 00:32:22.700 --> 00:32:26.759 I making this up? Is this not real? But she doesn't 00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:32.500 have eczema anymore. Her body is better. inside 00:32:32.500 --> 00:32:36.380 and out yeah it's healed yeah i mean she skips 00:32:36.380 --> 00:32:41.640 to school she literally skips into school there's 00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:45.039 no option she has to be there what age what age 00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:47.960 can she be there until to the end to end of her 00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:51.099 journey to year 11 wow it's a lot of fundraising 00:32:51.099 --> 00:32:54.779 to do so if you have heard sarah's story about 00:32:54.779 --> 00:32:57.279 mia and would like to support in any way you 00:32:57.279 --> 00:33:01.430 can please head to mia's bright future dot c 00:33:01.430 --> 00:33:04.890 a r r d dot co that's me as bright future dot 00:33:04.890 --> 00:33:07.650 c a r r d dot co i'll leave that in the description 00:33:07.650 --> 00:33:10.809 below if you want to support sarah if this story 00:33:10.809 --> 00:33:13.730 has resonated with you i know sarah has shared 00:33:13.730 --> 00:33:17.609 such great wisdom over navigating parenthood 00:33:17.609 --> 00:33:19.609 with me i don't first charge day and if that 00:33:19.609 --> 00:33:21.589 has meant something to you then yeah i'd love 00:33:21.589 --> 00:33:24.130 you to pay it forward and support sarah and support 00:33:24.130 --> 00:33:26.069 a friend that's maybe in that same position share 00:33:26.069 --> 00:33:28.650 this podcast with them and share these tips because 00:33:28.650 --> 00:33:32.049 we're all better together Yeah. And I think, 00:33:32.049 --> 00:33:35.670 you know, beyond Mia, my idea now is beyond Mia 00:33:35.670 --> 00:33:37.950 to fundraise for Mia, but she's going to continue 00:33:37.950 --> 00:33:41.109 to stay there, but to fundraise, possibly set 00:33:41.109 --> 00:33:43.910 up an organisation or foundation for other children, 00:33:43.970 --> 00:33:46.910 not just within arts, but any sort of space, 00:33:47.190 --> 00:33:50.750 part -time or full -time, that they need. That's 00:33:50.750 --> 00:33:53.359 fabulous. I love that. Thank you so much, Sarah, 00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:56.240 for joining me. It's been an absolute joy and 00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:59.539 really, really useful tips that are actionable. 00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:02.319 Yeah, that parents listening and teachers listening 00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:05.599 can take and use right away. So thank you so 00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:07.680 much for that. And I wish you and Mia all the 00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:10.420 best in her bright future. Thank you, Gorda. 00:34:10.420 --> 00:34:11.599 Thank you so much. Thank you.