Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education
teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything
communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson
ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged
4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in
the field answering your questions and sharing
our knowledge and experience working alongside
our beautiful young people. Let's get started.
So these episodes are going to be a little bit
different over August. We are going to re -look
at my favourite moments from the podcast from
Series 1. We've had such amazing conversations
this year and thank you so much to everybody
who has been on the podcast. You've been incredible.
And thank you so much for all the listeners for
your support so that we can continue this for
Series 2 from September. I hope you enjoy taking
a look back at... yeah my favorite moments very
often as adults we really mess it up because
they've got a system they've got a thing that
they want to do they don't need us and we're
so desperate to be part of the play and to join
in that we accidentally get in the way and what
we then do is we prove their point which is that
other people get in the way and so what yeah
again one of the the best kind of tips is to
just sit alongside for a while. Just sit alongside,
be present, but not actively involved. And then
what I tend to do as like a stepping stone into
their play is I'd maybe find my own bottle top
and just have one and I'd just do the same thing
as them, but separately and alongside. Sometimes
I even have to have invisible things because
sometimes me having something that's then not
part of their set is really... upsetting and
dysregulating or they want everything that I've
got and then it becomes a bit of a battle so
if you're finding that I do try that but if you're
finding that sometimes I have in visual things
and I just copy the movement or the sound or
the something because and I'm still joining in
without that weird battle and if you feel that
they're uncomfortable with how close you are
then take a step back or if they feel uncomfortable
with how you're sitting then sit some where else
but but they're obviously aware of you and that's
good that is the start it's just we want them
to be as comfortable as possible and and yeah
and this isn't a magic wand it takes time and
that's the point isn't it if you're committed
to it um then gradually yeah quite often when
we do something new and we're trying this this
kind of play and interaction therapy to start
with it will feel new and and maybe a little
bit too much for children and so they might watch
you do your invisible bottle top and they might
take their seven over to the other side No, thank
you. This was actually a me time activity. And
again, that's absolutely fine. I tend to just
narrate along with it and go, oh, I had a term,
but now it's time for you to play by yourself.
I understand. I'll come back later. And, you
know, just narrate alongside it and almost give
that like advocating phrase to them as they go.
So they move along and I go, oh, I need a bit
of space. And they kind of, as if I'm talking
as them so that they can hear that phrase, they
might use it another time. time if they can and
it means that you've had this this very equal
interaction there like i didn't come in and insist
that i must be part of your play um i haven't
taken over i haven't taken your toys i haven't
touched your play i'm offered to be part of it
i've asked for an invite and then you've either
replied saying yep join in or no thanks not today
and both i think we have to show children that
both of those things are an option like they
can say no thanks for you joining in exactly
exactly and sometimes it is we all like me time
don't we and and that that relationship and trust
will have to build won't it and and if you're
showing them i respect your space and i allow
you to advocate for yourself and you give consent
to me working with you and playing with you and
i honor when you don't give that then next time
they might be a little bit less anxious that
you're going to step in because they'll realize
that this person doesn't do that in, you know.
I think it's a huge gesture of connection to
allow a child to say, oh, I'd like to do this
by myself. And for an adult to respect that,
I think that it can be really new for a child.
They might not have ever experienced that before
because there are so many other times where as
adults, we have to leave. them and we have to
guide them and we have to show them and you know
we have to be in charge of whether you can eat
whether you can eat that and whether you can
climb on actually in play you know they can be
fully in charge of that and so it's really empowering
for them in a paid environment it is your job
you're paid to work with this child you might
be being watched by the parent you know it takes
so much right So it might take so much confidence
to step back because you almost want something
to happen, I can imagine. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, but
I think it's about explaining that there's a
reason for that. for that space and that distance
and that my my motivation is not to make them
talk or or to make them play with me like that's
not my aim my aim in therapy is for us to build
a connection through play and a connection is
a two -way thing like I can't make them connect
with me but so often that offering of like this
is up to you means that we do connect because
you know they go off and they do their thing
and then maybe i play something different over
here and they are curious about it and so they
come over and maybe they take all of my bottle
tops that i started to play with but we're still
interacting now and i think well okay here they
are and we you know i'm then i'm then helping
yeah passing the bottle tops over are there any
more in this basket I will go and check for you
I found three more here you go you know and we're
now in a collaborative play accidentally yeah
um but it started actually with me being rejected
and accepting that rejection will win this absolutely
and they're they're not even equal but they're
actually in charge of this interaction aren't
they they're fully in charge and in control and
okay yeah great yeah that's fine and then meanwhile
you're thinking in your head right how can i
do this different next week or do i do i have
all the bottle tops all over the room and we
have to look for them or whatever that you might
be next time you're just thinking aren't you
like how can i extend this how can i move this
on a little bit or or what could have been better
you know all we're constantly questioning that
aren't we my cat has just jumped we're constantly
questioning that aren't we and kind of improving
our own practice in that way and it's yeah and
it very rarely is what we plan i love your instagram
post when you say this is what i set up and this
is what we ended up doing how we actually played
because it's yeah and it has to i think it has
to yeah you have to be willing to be really flexible
and have an idea and a plan because that's important
you know know know what you're hoping for but
also be very accepting of the fact that the children
that i support usually have a very clear plan
for themselves and and our plans may or may not
kind of cross those from each other and that's
okay we might have to just work with with with
where we are. And like you were saying earlier,
each visit that I do or each session that I do,
I have to look at where that child's at on that
day. Where's their cup at? Did they skip lunch
today because it wasn't what they liked? Is it
Friday or is it Monday? Did they have a school
trip earlier in the week? Has mum been poorly
and so the routine's been off because... auntie's
been in to help run the show you know it's no
children are i think children aren't aren't robots
and so we can't plan for robots we have to plan
for tiny humans that are going to have very different
feelings and very different expectations every
single time you see them um yeah the best bit
of the job isn't it yeah yeah absolutely you
have to yeah you have to really love that that
kind of on the go okay this is where we're at
how are we gonna like weave that that therapy
idea into this now instead yeah famous five conscious
senses and actually hidden in those are a lot
of the subconscious so like we have a sense of
temperature and as tactile sense and we cluster
them all together as touch but it's possible
to be able to feel texture but not be able to
understand temperature or it's possible to be
able to feel temperature and not understand texture
so it's a bit like deciding how many constellations
there are in the sky it just depends how we group
these neurons but there are 33 sets of neurons
that control your senses so arguably you've got
33 sensory systems but that would get a bit much
because in a sensory story you only get eight
to ten sentences so seven is manageable eight
nine is getting a bit too ambitious really But
my seven, I do the famous five. And then quite
often you're working with somebody who is missing
one of the sensory systems or can't eat and you
lose a few. So it's worth having a couple of
backups. I use proprioception, which is your
awareness of where your body is in space. And
it's a weird one to think about. But most people
have had an experience of not having proprioception
just as they're waking up. up or falling asleep
and they get that sensation of falling do you
ever have that yes and what's happening is your
proprioceptive sense is falling asleep slightly
before you or waking up slightly after you and
you just have a moment where you don't have an
awareness of where your body is in space right
it's a really unnerving thing and people can
have differences to their proprioception in the
same way they can have differences to vision
or differences to hearing and so if you don't
have full proprioceptive capacity and i'm actually
somebody who doesn't you don't fully have an
awareness of where your body is all the time
and that's slightly unnerving yeah so stimulation
that tells somebody where their body is is a
really good way of supporting the proprioceptive
sense so things like um compression wear clothing
and the weighted blankets and all of those things
that are so popular in the sensory market that's
what they're doing they're giving you information
about where your body is Brushing, massage, all
of those things. Vibration is a great one. And
then my other one I do is your vestibular sense,
which is your sense of motion and balance. So
if you can incorporate a movement in your sensory
story, it has to be a movement that involves
the head because the receptors to your vestibular
sense are in your inner ear. So it's no good
just waving your hand. That wouldn't do it. but
anything that creates like an up or down or around
or around would offer stimulation to your vestibular
sense and be another way children in chairs would
you spin rock shake if if they can do that i
mean is that what it looks like yeah yeah and
actually so your senses are a part receptor organ
but your brain understanding the information
from the receptor organ So the only time we really
give that any credit in kind of day to day life
is when we give babies black and white picture
books because we recognize this is a baby that
can see, but they're not seeing in the same way
that I'm seeing. And what's happening is it's
partly, you know, the receptor organs picking
up the information and partly your brain making
sense of it. And it's about 25 percent pick up,
75 percent make sense of it. And so I have a
friend who is blind, but her eyes work perfectly.
Right. But her brain can't understand it. And
a lot of the people that I work with maybe have
the receptor capacity. It's taking them longer
to put together this information. and so i often
talk about there being a curriculum of the senses
and i have a course called develop your sensory
lexiconry which is me teaching that curriculum
of the senses but there are things that it is
easier for your sentences to do and things that
it is harder for them to do so like the black
and white picture books for sight that makes
sense doesn't you pop out you're getting all
this visual information it's easier to figure
out that's black and that's white than it is
to figure out that's peach and that's lemon yellow
like sequence of things that you're learning
and with regards to your vestibular sense that
sense of motion and balance the early way we
learn about that sense is through bold directional
movement so you think of what we do with little
babies we rock them side to side we push them
forwards and backwards in their buggy and then
we pass them to their daddy and they lob them
into the air like it's bold directional movement
and if you're somebody who requires supportive
equipment like if you're in a funky wheelchair
you probably spent your early years maybe in
a bed maybe ruined expensive care you won't have
had as much chance to have those bold directional
movements so you won't have had the opportunity
to make sense of that stimulation and you might
not be processing it fully yet and so by giving
you those opportunities to access that movement
you can give an opportunity to help somebody
understand the messages coming from their senses
and then that gives you more access to the work
those two i'm quite up an eavesdropper on conversations
where people go would you prefer to be deaf or
would you prefer to be blind like there's a hierarchy
and actually if you interjected in those conversations
and said would you prefer to be blind or would
you lose your vestibular sense most people would
go okay my vestibular never had it But both of
those senses, your proprioception and your stimulation,
are fundamental to your capacity to move. And
if you lose either one, it's a total paralysis.
And so offering stimulation to them can support
movement and coordination and all of those things.
And those two are... definitely being missed
in sensory stories because in my in my from my
experience of sensory stories looking around
and working with lots of other people often it's
it's texture it smells it's tastes even sometimes
but they're all quite passive they're still and
and sitting they do lots of other activities
that are moving but i feel like maybe often it
gets forgotten when it's a story maybe something
in our brain says sit down for story time it's
still listening and it's passive and actually
that's not the case and it makes so much sense
from what you're saying that of course that's
not the case if we're if people are being pushed
in their chairs we all sort of wheel around in
a circle and spin and if people can move themselves
it's like a chance for a little boogie in the
middle of the story it's a good one yeah that's
a great one especially in the middle of the story
because that's when you need it so one of the
biggest misconceptions is that somehow it is
synonymous with occupational therapy or that
it's the exclusive preserve of occupational therapy
and it is not sensory integration as a concept
as a way of working as a way of including people
is for everyone every single person must be should
be included in sensory integration there isn't
a kind of i'm not sensory everybody's in within
the formal training and formal qualifications
it is the case and has been for a long time that
occupational therapists speech and language therapists
and physiotherapists can train so my training
as an advanced practitioner in air sensory integration
is exactly the same as an occupational therapist
or a physiotherapist who's trained in it i'm
trained to the same level with the same things
and in fact in these you know for most of the
people who are training in the uk The course
they take now to train, I wrote that course,
but I was the first speech and language therapist
to formally train at that advanced level. In
America, there'd been other speech therapists
before, and in the UK and in Ireland, other speech
therapists who were getting it, who wanted to
work in a neuroaffirming way, who wanted to understand
how sensory was part of what the children and
adults they were supporting were doing. So there
were already people doing it. That was part of
my clinical work, too. You know, I could see
there was a missing piece. And I was lucky enough
to work with an OT who was doing sensory integration.
And that led me to explore more. And I was the
first, as I said, the first speech and language
therapist in the world to formally qualify as
an advanced practitioner in ASSI. And I'm going
to just apologize now because it's so exciting
to me. I get really quick in talking. I love
it. I love it so much. I love it. It's keeping
me so excited. Okay, let's talk about what that
looks like then. So you're working with a young
person. How do the two come together in that
beautiful, affirming way? Yeah, it's the same
thing. It is the same thing. So sensory integration
is the framework that allows me to look at what's
going on. So when we say sensory integration,
what we mean is this person, this young person,
this older person, they have a brain and a nervous
system. which has wired up to respond to the
environment in specific ways and when there's
a mismatch between this young person's environment
the young person's nervous system and the environment
and the demands or the task that's where the
issue is it's not that there's something wrong
with them or wrong with their nervous system
is they have a differently wired nervous system
where when there's a mismatch that's where the
issue is so how does that show up for speech
language and communication If you want to be
part of any kind of engagement with somebody
else, you first of all need to feel safe. And
second of all, you need to understand what the
heck is going on. So that piece is the sensory
integration piece. Feeling safe, understanding
what's going on, and then being able to make
use of the opportunities. It's what speech language
therapy is. It's also what learning is. Yeah.
Regulation before communication. Nobody can speak
their best speak, however vocal you are, if you're
being chased by a tiger. And often that's how
our children feel, isn't it? In those environments
that aren't matched for them. Absolutely. You
know, one of the things I say a lot, Jordan,
is that, you know, a really good way to think
of this is that your brain is a sense -making
machine. What does your brain want to do? It
wants to make sense of what's happening. It will
use whatever it's... whatever it can to make
sense of what's happening. So if you feel physiologically
unsafe or psychologically unsafe, your brain
tells you this is not safe to be here. It is
not safe to engage. You are in peril. You can
save your life. And what do you do when you're
in that fight, fright or flight mode? You run.
You might hit out. You might hurt yourself. You
might hurt others. You might fall to the floor.
You might freeze. You might hide. All of those...
Things that some people might be seeing in their
classrooms or in their homes with, you know,
people that are in their lives, their loved ones,
that might be what you're seeing. But what's
happening internally is exactly that, is that
survival. I don't feel safe mode, isn't it? Absolutely.
And I think, you know, particularly as a parent,
it's so hard when your child is kind of lashing
out and there's kind of fight behaviours because
you know they're safe and it's really hard. to
be in that place where you can't explain to them
easily that they are safe. That actually, you
know, it's kind of understanding that this is
not anything you've done or not done. It's that
their brain and their nervous system makes sense
of this environment, of this task, in a way which
allows their body to go, right, what's on the
plate? I suppose there's... two different things
i'm thinking there's the moment when the child
is in that crisis how you respond will be maybe
very differently than when they are regulated
and what yeah what you can work on and what you
can be like and how you can your yeah how you
what your expectations of them i suppose can
be very different can't it Would you like to
talk about that a little bit, capacity in those
situations? Yeah, for sure. So that, you know,
that first piece, safety first, safety first.
Safety is the priority. That, you know, when
you're outside and you're seeing this, seeing
this showing up in the classroom, in at home,
in different, out in the street, out in the supermarket,
once you step away from the label behaviour,
from the word behavior and you look at it through
the lens of is this a child trying to feel safe
trying to make sense of what's happening that
puts you in a completely different place in relationship
to what you're seeing so the compassion and love
with which you then respond is in a completely
different place so i'm not saying it's never
behavior sometimes it is but actually that's
communication we'll go there in a Yeah, we'll
go there in a minute. Talking about sensory piece,
just that really core understanding that what
you're seeing is a little brain and a little
bit nervous system just trying to feel safe,
just trying to make sense. It puts you in a place
where you have so much to offer to create safety,
so much to offer to create sense. That sense
of, you know, that's all consuming. That sense
of you cannot move past that. You can't short
circuit it. You can't hurry it through. You can't
decide that's enough. They're regulated now.
Until they're ready, their brain is not going
to be able to make use of anything else you've
got to offer. So if you want a child to learn,
if you want a child to thrive, if you want a
child to engage, you have to invest in the relationship
of making them feel safe in the moment. What
kind of things would you be looking at in that
moment? And I guess it's different for every...
person of course but what kind of things would
you be curious about what would you what would
your internal monologue be saying as you're trying
to work through all of these things that's a
really good that's a really good question of
course you know for me there's like a whole yeah
here's what we ran down so i guess you know for
me that first thing is kind of understanding
its nervous system environment tasks so the first
thing i'm doing is Can we just hold off on the
task, just hold off on the demand? Then I'm looking
at the environment. What is there that in my
knowledge of the child is making me think, actually,
this could be quite challenging. And, you know,
often it's things that you overlook because you
feel safe in the environment. So it's how bright
are the lights? How strong are the smells? How
close are people? What kind of textures do you
have to deal with? What's the temperature like?
all of those kind of physical, physical aspects
of the environment. And that's stuff that most
of the time is relatively straightforward, relatively
easy to address. That's something that I'm supporting
my team with is about that total communication
approach. And actually, it's okay if Sammy goes
over to the sink, gets a cup and brings you a
cup. That's amazing that they're requesting a
drink. But also it's okay if Sammy stands at
the sink with the cup and is stuck and not sure
what to do. You can then go over and prompt to,
you know, prompt by using, we have like drink
symbols to be removed, also a button. And I've
also now recently put a talking panel that has
six buttons on it. And it's like drink, wash
hands, because it's like, you know, if they've
got sticky hands for a sensory play. cereal reasons
all their like favorite snacks as well because
we do allow our children to snack throughout
the day um you know all they we always want them
to feel um that they can request those sorts
of things and actually it's just about that like
recognizing where you can support the children
but it's like allowing allowing them if they're
working on creating a sentence that's okay but
it's still okay for them just to hand you a part
And I think sometimes some of, you know, some
of my support staff have struggled with that
because they're like, oh, but their target is
to make a sentence. Yeah. And it's like, that's
fine. You can extend that. You accept, you can,
you accept that form of communication. Go over,
help them with, help them with a drink and then
model that. I want drink. I'm thirsty is something
else we're trying. It's not, it's moving away
from just like I want. So like I'm like labeling
how we're feeling. I'm thirsty. I need a drink.
So, yeah. Yeah, it's so true. And again, it comes
down to modelling, doesn't it? Absolutely. Also
understanding that in certain situations or on
certain days, children will be able to access
language and not access language. So when a pupil
is dysregulated, for example, their communication
abilities will reduce massively. I have a pupil
that's incredibly, I mean, really quick on the
AAC. It's been doing it for a couple of years
now. Incredibly quick. But when dysregulated,
can't even make a choice of objects. just loses
all ability or want ability, I suppose, to be
able to communicate in that way. He just needs
us to make those decisions for him and do that
for him because he can't make choices. He can't
look at photos. It is just too much. Too overwhelming.
Yeah, and it's not that he can't, it's just that
he can't right now. And I think that's also something
as well, isn't it? And it might not be as big
or as obvious as that with your learners. It
might just be, they might... be seemingly okay
and and actually just that day they're just a
bit tired or actually they they've been doing
it all day and they just want a drink you know
it's not an every opportunity isn't an opportunity
to stretch them sometimes they just want a drink
so i think that's absolutely great it's what
you just said is do the thing give the thing
and then model what they could do yeah we have
people in our class who self -harms and self
-harms to communicate so self -harms to um wrapped
or self -harms to get access to a chair or gets
access to a thing or it is communication it would
be awful for us while she's punching herself
in the head to go and get her aac model what
she wants yeah or give her a choice would be
even worse yeah but even just modeling the sentence
like oh she's punching obviously we're not going
to do that so we absolutely be what she's doing
we give her what she needs and then we show her
a safer alternative way that she could have asked
for that you know in the hope that oh that won't
hurt me maybe i'll do that you know it is the
hope but yeah absolutely yes of course we want
her to do that But ultimately, it's about meeting
their needs first, isn't it? And honouring that
communication. Absolutely. And what you just
said there is something we completely honour
in our class as well. And across our school,
it's regulation before communication. We know
communication is so important and obviously behaviour
is a form of communication. And I, you know,
whenever we have behavioural communication training
across the school, we always say at the end of
the day, if they are dysregulated in any way,
then the first thing to almost go is that communication,
the ability to communicate effectively or in
their way that they would when they're regulated,
because they are no longer regulated. So you
absolutely need, you take, your priority is that
regulation, not the teaching of communication
within that moment. Exactly. And I spoke to a
speech language therapist only last week. And
it was amazing how much we spoke about sensory
circuit, sensory diet, sensory integration, because
it's not separate. It's so interwoven into communication.
So interwoven. If they don't, if they aren't
regulated, they cannot communicate. So of course,
speech and language therapists are going to spend
a lot of their time regulating children so that
they can communicate. It just makes sense. But
listening to her and all of her, you know, there's
an incredibly occupational therapy you know looking
and sounding and yeah of course of course they
are but you know i was taken aback by that thinking
yeah yeah of course we have to do it all we all
have to do it all whereas i thought it was oh
i'm a special education teacher but i'm also
this and i'm also that and it's like we're all
are we all are because without one you can't
do the other and vice versa yeah so i just i
just thought that was an interesting um thing
that I got out of um our conversation last week
was yeah what you've just said is is that regulation
is is key isn't it in all of it absolutely yeah
it's it's one of those things that it underpins
it underpins everything and I mean we've we're
always changing our timetable I quite often get
asked online like about my timetable and how
my day looks like often it's really hard to because
we change it sometimes daily basis or like we're
like day to day it's depending on what the children
need and at the moment we're getting a lot of
children coming in dysregulated and after their
transition into school and we just have we are
closing the blinds we've got our led like farming
lights on we've got we've got their favorite
things out and a lot of people come in and be
like oh it's just a morning choose session yes
it is a morning choose session because we are
regulating because if we they come in now and
i'm like right Let's go and do some story massage
and let's go and do intensive interaction. It's
not going to be a positive interaction. What
we need to prioritise here is getting ourselves
regulated and ready to learn because otherwise
we're not going to have a great day. It's valuable,
isn't it? I think it doesn't have to look like
table or paperwork. I think that's something
special education teachers do really well, actually,
that learning can be in the corridor, learning
can be outside of the field, learning can be
on choosing time. In fact, we get the best communication
at choosing time and golden time or whatever
you want to call it. There are some of our best
moments in the toilet, like some of our best
learning and most important learning moments
for independence, just because it isn't called
English or maths or communication at all. problem
solving whatever you want to call it doesn't
mean that there's not learning happening um because
actually some of the most important lessons for
our learners happen around those subject areas
the subject areas are kind of the fluff um yeah
really And actually it's about care needs. It's
about teaching independence, about teaching communication,
teaching about to advocate for their sensory
needs and regulation. It's all of those things.
It has to be. We're constantly saying we meet
care needs first and then we learn. And sometimes,
some weeks, we've just met their care needs,
actually. And that is okay because we have the
luxury of that. I feel like all teachers could,
though. I feel like we're almost granted the
luxury of that that is just accepted that of
course you do but it's interesting to me that
all teachers are SEN teachers these days and
yeah and it's almost if you're listening to this
and and you're a mainstream teacher just know
that you're a SEN teacher too and you also have
the ability and you know it should should feel
like you have the ability to support your learners
in that way that if you know, neurodivergent,
just disabled or not. If a people comes in and
they're not ready to learn for whatever reason,
something, something might've happened in the
morning. They might not have had a good sleep.
They might be feeling unwell. They might've fallen
out with a friend. They might not got picked
for the football team, whatever it is. They might
not also be ready to learn. And it's always like
trusting your instincts there and navigating
the class, how they are. I think, I think I've
seen it. I am attached to a mainstream school.
So I do see it. Say for example, if we've had
a. event and something really exciting has happened
in the morning you can see the teachers like
well you know that's the afternoon gone because
we need to change or or if it's wet play even
you can say oh yeah we need to do something else
so I definitely I definitely see it in my school
and I really hope that other schools feel like
they they can do that because yeah if ultimately
if you want the children to remember what you've
taught them they're gonna have to be regulated
aren't they Thinking back to your child that
you were just talking about that was distressed
and couldn't have words, well, surely communication
and regulation are the start of improving mental
health. Surely. Yeah, I think it's got to be.
it's then almost again taking that step back
as to okay so so what's the lens through which
we're viewing these difficulties and how do we
then kind of support that communication and regulation
and i think that is then part of the bigger conversation
around behavior support and the narrative through
which we view the way that some of these children
show up at times i recently did an insect day
training at school was talking to them about
how you know Ross Green's work and particularly
around ADHD children but I think it is for all
children in my view that kids do well when they
can and I think for me that is so powerful because
if the child is not doing well you know firstly
whose expectation is what is well and that's
a question in itself um but then if they're not
like we need to look at what's going on around
them right and thinking about their internal
state those basic needs are they met can they
communicate that do they feel safe and secure
do they feel you know are they are they fed are
they watered like have they had a good rest do
they need the toilet do they know if they need
these the toilet you know are they uncomfortable
exactly and I think we then kind of look at that
and then the next piece around them becomes that
okay so how do we work out what's going on and
then teach them the ways to regulate that and
communicate that and also thinking about for
me part of that is the environment and that inclusive
communication environment that's going on but
I also think sometimes the activities you know
like I see some kids who perhaps are presenting
as not doing so well and that kind of challenging
time but i think is that because the activity
is too hard or not hard enough and therefore
they're a bit disinterested and creating their
own entertainment overstimulating any part of
that is also recognizing that fluctuating capacity
of neurodivergent kids right because they might
be able to do something one day that they can't
do the next day or even in the morning that they
can't do in the afternoon and that for a lot
of people can be quite baffling but if we take
an affirming approach and an honoring approach
it is about believing kids tuning in and getting
to know them and getting to know when are those
times to perhaps push and perhaps kind of encourage
a bit more and when are the times to just go
that's cool i can see you're done we need to
focus on that regulation piece let's bring your
energy back in line whether it's too low too
high to get you in a better place and then we'll
see what's next you know um and i think for me
so much of that affirming practice around communication
starts at that level you know starts at taking
a step back and just seeing what's going on and
i'm believing kids you know there's so much power
in validation um around just listening isn't
there and i think that's the case for any kind
of level of learner and support needs you know
i could work with some really high support needs
kids and they might be you know communicating
through self -injurious behavior that their frustration
and just being able to validate say it's really
frustrating You know, I think there's sometimes
this view in our minds that actually children
don't have capacity for language and don't have
capacity for understanding because of their lack
of expressive language. And yeah, they might
not in that moment, but we can teach it and we
have to believe that they have capacity to understand
it. So that kind of validation and giving. My
supervisor, Kate Boot, talks about language for
experience. And I think that's it. It's like
actually in those moments, giving some language
to the experience that they're having and honoring
how they're showing up. and then thinking about
that step back and what do we need to do next
time to support communication and regulation
in those situations so would it look like naming
maybe what they're expressing so i can i can
see you're frustrated that you can't do this
like is it is it is that what it sounds like
yeah i mean for me sometimes it sounds like that
there is challenge isn't there in trying to name
emotions yeah how do you know yeah so how do
you navigate that i think Usually what I find
myself saying is like, this seems tough or it's
hard. I like that. Some things I can see this
is tricky. I sometimes will on an AAC device,
like we use quite a lot of grid and smart box,
but anything they've got one on their messages,
there's just something's wrong. And so I might
just model that, I think, and say something's
wrong. Yeah, because that's not putting on to
them what they're feeling. It's just I can see
something's wrong. Yeah. That is clear. Yeah.
That's still validating, isn't it? that that
I can see something's wrong i .e can I help in
any way and sometimes I would just say like I'm
here like you know and I do that on a device
I do that with my language I do that with my
body language you know and just be like I'm here
and I'm gonna you know you're safe like it will
be okay but so you can give like language I think
that that kind of validates the experience and
links in with their experiences but also can
kind of reassuring nurturing in those moments
but generally like again that's a practice years
ago i'd have been like we label the emotions
and like show them the symbol and now i'm like
okay no that makes so much sense to me yeah i've
always struggled with how to say it so that me
that is makes so much sense and i feel like maybe
the more we do that then becomes easier to find
that language to find that script that isn't
um putting on them what they may not be feeling
And yet still showing them that you've shown
up for them. Yeah. And I think like so often,
you know, the difference between anxiety and
frustration, like how do we know that their frustration
is not driven by anxiety? And so I think, you
know, and some of these kids, they don't necessarily
have the skills at this point in time to talk
about what it was, but there is sort of comfort
in validation. and one of the things i talk a
lot to staff about is our natural reaction to
say it's okay and actually what i'm trying to
get people to say it's not okay yeah because
again that's that's language of their experience
that they're having so i think we can say like
i can see it's not okay you know i can see it's
tricky like i'm here you're safe it will be okay
you know those kinds of things and again you
know the children you're working with to tune
in and know how much language is too much i mean
that's the point as well isn't it that if you've
got a good relationship and a trusting relationship
with this child already which is what i would
like it has to be that way then they will also
know that you mean best as us even if you get
it wrong or you're too close or whatever if you've
got that trusting relationship there's there's
a little bit more leniency there a little bit
that you can kind of work it through together
whereas if you come in and you haven't got those
trustful relationships you haven't built that
connection yet it's going to be really tricky
and even if you are saying the right things and
doing the right things it's going to be really
hard for them to trust that you in that moment
when they're completely in fight or flight mode
yeah yeah yeah so it's so important that when
it just taking every opportunity to build those
connections and that looks like being led by
them doesn't it yeah yeah definitely and validating
and and you know sort of sharing their joy and
also being there when it's not so joyful That's
it for this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed
taking a look back at some of my favourite moments
from series one. If you would like to be on my
podcast for series two, then please get in touch.
You can email me at oursensorykids at gmail .com
or just send me a DM on social media and I'd
love to have you on. See you next time.