Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education
teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything
communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson
ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged
4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in
the field answering your questions and sharing
our knowledge and experience working alongside
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Hello, everybody. My name is Jordan. Welcome
back to the Sensory Classroom podcast. Today,
I am joined by Charlotte, who is twins, tides
and autism vibes on Instagram. Welcome, Charlotte.
Hi Jordan. Thanks for having me. Of course. So
let's start off with talking about your family
setup. Okay, so I am a mum with four children.
So I have Jude, Tommy and my twin daughters Serenity
and Francesca. And I am on to my second marriage
and I co -parent with Jude and Tommy's dad who
is James from Stories About Autism. Wonderful.
And how old are your children? So Jude is 17,
Tommy is 14 and the twins are seven. Amazing.
And I know that through just following your and
James's social media, that the boys haven't always
been able to live together or you've chosen to
not through their, to support their dysregulation.
Yeah, exactly. So we got to around, Tommy was
probably approaching about 18 months. And it
was becoming really, really difficult for Jude
to regulate with Tommy's. Just Tommy being a
baby, really. Those noises, unpredictability,
moving when Jude wasn't sure why he was moving,
crying because he was hungry, you know, screaming
out of joy. All of those things just really took
an impact on Jude. So we ended up kind of living
really separately. James was with one, I was
with another. One was in one room, I was in another
room. Days out would start to be more and more
separate because it wasn't getting better. Jude
wasn't getting more used to Tommy. It was actually
going the opposite way and he was becoming, self
-harming started happening, real hard behaviours
to watch your four and five -year -old child
at the time go through just because Tommy was
being Tommy. Yeah, high anxiety, high dysregulation,
really not coping. No, not at all. Did you know
that they were autistic at that point? Yeah,
so I started my pathway when Jude was around
six, seven months old, which seems crazy. But
I just knew that something wasn't right. You
know, I had a six -month -old that would never
look at me, was very vacant. And just, it didn't
feel... like it should have felt at the time
so I kind of kept a close eye on from around
sort of six months by the time we got to about
18 months old I was already probably four or
five months down the path of been to the doctor
discussed how I felt and by 19 months old we
were already in a room having our assessment
and left with a diagnosis at 19 months old which
is crazy now when I think about it because so
many people are you know, waiting and they don't
diagnose that young. But I think Jude being on
the more severe end of the spectrum, I think
they could see that there was, you know, it was
very clear that he was autistic. It was very
clear that he had global development delay. And
for us to be able to parent Jude, we needed that
support then and there. And thank goodness that
you did. But like you say, so often now, children
are asked to wait until at least after three
before they even put their request in. And then
some children are getting to around six years
old before they are receiving their diagnosis.
Because there's so many people that are aware
now and know the signs now, which is fantastic.
But the system just isn't keeping up with this.
No, and it's not. But yeah. Can't imagine you
managing and always wondering until six years
old without that support, which is what families
are having to do now. It seems really unfair,
doesn't it? I think for us, it was, I can't parent
my child without the support that I need to be
able to know how do I regulate my child? You
know, how do I communicate with my child when
words aren't enough? How can I... play with my
child when typical play isn't an option and for
me I needed the right support and the right therapies
to be put in place so I could start that connection
and I think I knocked on every door my voice
got louder and louder each time that People were
saying, he's a baby, he's a baby. And for me,
yes, he was a baby, but he's a baby that each
day that goes by, I'm not connecting with. I'm
not getting eye contact with. I'm not being able
to play with my baby. And I want to, and I need
someone to help me. It's amazing that he's your
first child. So you had no other comparisons
to make, but you just knew, your mother's intuition
knew that something was different. Something
wasn't... neurotypical about your baby, which
is quite incredible, really, I would say. Yeah,
I always find that really strange because I didn't
know anyone with autism. I hadn't had any experience.
I didn't really even know what the word meant.
But the word just came out of my mouth one day
and it never left. And from there, the Googling
starts and all of those things. And I think I
just knew, like you said, that intuition kicked
in, that gut feeling. Like I said, it was more
each day that was going past, all I was doing
was being a mum, walking around town, pushing
a pram. And that's all I felt I had. I didn't
have any more than just pushing a pram and then
keeping him fed, keeping him warm, keeping him
safe. But I wanted to play with my baby. I wanted
to connect with him. And the neurotypical ways
weren't... touching the sides. So I wanted someone
to say with or without the diagnosis, I wanted
someone to say, you know, try playing alongside
him or, you know, how about some bubbles? How
about motivators? And all these things that I
didn't know, I needed someone to give the language
to me so I could at least then Google the right
pathways or find the right people that could
help me and say, yeah. This is it. This is how
you can start your journey with Jude. And it
may look very different from your friend who's
at Baby Group. But you're going to have a journey
and you're going to be able to get, even if it's,
you know, five minutes of play today, you'll
get something. And that is what I seeked. And
that's what I got. I could imagine that's so
encouraging for people who are listening to this,
that are waiting for those answers, that are
waiting for that support. Because there's not
only a wait for diagnosis, there's also a wait
for the support, if any, at the moment. What
kind of things, methods, approaches really helped
you to connect with Jude on those early stages
that people could action and try whilst they're
hunting? I think the really valuable things that
I've learned along the way that I've connected
with actually both Jude and Tommy was learning
to play alongside them and not... push myself
onto, you know, them building blocks, me sitting
right in front of them and doing the next block.
I also bought the same blocks and I built them
next to him doing the same thing. And everything
I did was like that. And I think one day, you
know, Jude just turned around and started watching
what I was doing. And then the next day he came
over and stole one of my blocks and it was gradual,
but it was magical. And we got that connection.
So I think. And allowing him the space that he
needed to be able to play in the way that he
played with me playing alongside him in that
way made him feel comfortable enough to go, oh,
hang on, she's a bit of me, you know. And no
pressure. She's not going to make me do anything.
She's not going to change my rigid patterns.
She's not going to make me feel anxious. She's
just there. And actually those opportunities
to connection, you're... Your example of him
stealing one of your blocks is the perfect example
of connection being not how you think it's going
to be. But that's still connection, isn't it?
It really is. It could be pushing over your tower.
It could be stealing a block from yours. It could
be stealing all of your blocks. That's still
connection and opportunity that he's noticed
you. And it was so many moments like that. And
that was really special. And it was slow. But
when you go from not having anything. to then
having moments, they don't feel so sparse. They
don't feel so, when is it happening? When is
it happening? You just celebrate the tiniest
of things. And they suddenly become so huge in
your world that you go, wow, this is working.
Let's keep going and going and building on that.
And that was, I realized that, you know, just
plunking down a big... wicker basket with loads
of sensory toys in wasn't going to cut the mustard
with jude you know he needed more than that and
we we got the sensory baskets which were great
and it was in the corner of the room but every
time i'd want to connect with him i'd go in with
my basket too and start just sitting there playing
with mine and then the magic just started to
happen it was yeah It was a great way to learn
Jude because actually what you're doing is you're
observing so much more than you've ever done
that. And you're like, wow, look at the way he
is looking at that or the way that he's actually
processing that toy really differently from how
my eyes process that. Because you're taking the
time to stop wanting what you think should happen.
You start watching what is happening and what
is happening. It's really, really magical. It's
such great advice for not only parents, but also
teaching assistants in school that are maybe
working with a new pupil to just get to know
them and their play, how they see the world alongside
them. Like you say, no pressure. For example,
they might have a car, but they might not want
to play with the car on the car map. Like we
imagine that it should be played with. We kind
of need to rebel against that and forget all
of it. that like should be kind of knowledge
and say well maybe they like holding it in front
of their eyes and spinning the wheels maybe that's
the play because there's still play opportunities
there it's just different so yeah it's so such
a wise advice and if people are listening then
maybe they're doing some of these things naturally
anyway they just never even realized they were
doing them or they never realized that that was
connection they never realized that that was
play And it's allowing themselves to feel like,
no, you're doing it. You're doing exactly what
your child needs. And I think that's it. I think
it's as the years have gone by, you realize that
you do so many things without knowing that you're
doing it. And it doesn't feel like play or it
doesn't feel like education or it doesn't feel
like mothering or, but actually all those things
are. there and you are educating, you are mothering,
you are building a bond. It just doesn't look
like what the books told you when you were pregnant
and what milestones might look like and how your
child's going to run up to you and coo and say,
mama. It's a whole new guidebook. Chuck that
one away and start writing your own. And even
if you start journaling saying today, Tommy looked
at me for the first time and he didn't just look.
through me he looked at me and we had a moment
and I think if you start writing those up and
then you look back over sort of a month and think
wow he's looked at me five times played together
for four minutes today we actually got through
a game from beginning to middle and then that
builds to the end and all these things are there
but because you are comparing your beginning
journey to what everybody else is doing you stop
looking at the small things and the small things
are actually where the magic happens absolutely
and allowing yourself that to celebrate that
you know however small so jude was diagnosed
at 19 months yeah well how old was tommy at that
point tommy wasn't born yet tommy was tommy was
born um when jude was three okay So a week after
Jude's third birthday, Tommy came along. And
what was the journey like through diagnosis?
Was it similar? Did you know straight away? It
was different because obviously Jude was so high
needs and we'd got three years in and we were
doing all the right things and we were exhausted
because sleep was not on his menu of life. And
you are kind of just going in survival mode.
But also knowing that you've got to grow this
baby and you want to get into the world safely
and what's that going to look like? Did you have
a lot of anxiety around that when you were pregnant?
Knowing, like, how was Jude going? Like, did
you kind of feel those things? I didn't actually.
Weirdly, I never thought how Jude would deal
with it. What I did think was... How are we going
to deal with it? Because your life is already
so full with Jude and learning him and connecting
with him. How is a baby going to fit into that?
It's such a realistic fear. And I think lots
of any second time parents would have similar
fears of how are we going to make this work?
Because life already feels so full. Adoptism
and global developments lay onto that. yeah absolutely
and sensory processing you know disorder he it
was huge for him so you know I knew that a baby
crying would cause havoc I knew all of those
things would change Jude's environment, which
we'd protected so well. Right. So the anxiety
came more around how we could cope because we'd
spent the last three years meeting Jude's needs
and making his life so comfortable for him that
I knew he was going to be okay because Jude is
a prince and he lives his best life. What I knew
was that we as parents, how are we going to cope?
We're already on minimal sleep. We're already
meeting all of Jude's needs. Is there room for
less? sleep? Is there room to meet someone else's
needs? How am I going to get to enjoy my new
baby when all I'm trying to do is connect still
with Jude and keep him safe and keep him happy?
So that was more the anxiety was kind of around
that at that stage. And Tommy came along and
he came into the world safely and we came home.
And it was an adjustment for everybody, I think.
I moved downstairs into a room so it wouldn't
wake Jude up at night when I was doing the feeds.
James was upstairs with Tommy. Sorry, James was
upstairs with Jude while I was downstairs with
Tommy. Then once we got into a routine after
about three months, we all went back upstairs
and tried to live as functionally as possible.
But that's when you could really see that Jude
was not adapting to having a new baby brother.
It became very sad, I guess, to see a family
disconnect and not connect. I think it's really
common, though, having been a teacher for 16
years, I've known many, many, many, many families
of siblings, either both autistic or one, that
really struggle to find the balance of everyone
having their space that suits them is really,
really challenging. And of course... parent priorities
change every moment of every day you know all
of a sudden like oh it's about you know this
is the focus oh no now this is the focus and
it's just it's so hard and yeah as a teacher
witnessing this and just trying to support it
from a school side there's only so much we can
do of course but it's so common it is really
common and I think as the years go on we found
our way and and it was very different from what
we wanted it to be and how our friends were and
what a 2 .4 family looked like but we we found
our way and then I guess we moved on to to then
knowing that Tommy was also displaying you know
what kind of age was that so again around I knew
from around probably nine ten months that the
development was was different I was already on
track and Yes. And I think even more than I suppose,
even though Tommy is very different than Jude.
Very different. He was he doesn't have global
development delay. So he was learning differently
from Jude. He was stacking up, you know, cups
and he was doing little, you know, toy things
in the right way. And for me, I was like, this
is amazing because we've never had that before.
But I also knew that there were behaviors there
that weren't quite right. Like stimming behaviors?
A bit of stimming, a bit of, you know, he wouldn't
really answer to his name. He didn't show interesting,
you know, people so much. He would come up to
you, but it was for a purpose. It wasn't because
he wanted to be social in any way. So they were
all very much there. So we started the pathway
for him around sort of 13, 14 months old. And
again, by the time he was 20 months, we got our
diagnosis. But I think we were very much in the
system. We were already, you know. a family with
a child with high needs and they were like okay
these people i think that you know they know
what they're they're talking about we'll listen
to them and they did and we got our diagnosis
and again and and then suddenly we had two children
on the spectrum and we lived each day as it came
yeah yeah and have ever since i'm sure they're
now 17 and Yeah, and it's been a real journey.
I won't fluff it up. There's been beautiful times,
amazing progress, so many happy memories. But
my God, there's been some trauma. There has been
heartache. There has been huge decisions that
we wish we never had to make. And we have, I
think James and I, and one of our strongest things
is our relationship, our friendship. the way
that we really understand each other each other's
needs and from there meeting Jude and Tommy's
needs and that's done with kindness compassion
and also a lot of a lot of love you know that
and that's where we lead and I'm sure that's
why so many people are just enamored by your
setup because it's It is incredible. And that
is, and it is rare. I feel like it's big only
because, it's only possible because both of you
are coming from a place of wanting the best for
your boys, wanting the best for each other and
love. Ultimately. It's centered around a lot,
a lot of love. And we have, like I said, made
really hard decisions. You know, separating your
children is not easy. It's not something that
we'd ever want to do. We did it because it was
the right thing to do for our children's mental
health and in turn Jude's physical health. But
when we made that decision, we were very aware
that the impacts that has on us as people and
what that... means for us and support each other
through that you know are you okay today you
know do we need to maybe speak to more people
about this is this normal is there another way
is there another version of life are we missing
something and just always having that open line
of communication with each other really helps
you feel I think in life when you make a decision
the one thing you need to be is comfortable with
it so it doesn't either haunt you or it doesn't
You don't want to lay in bed at night thinking,
should I, shouldn't I, is it the right, is it
wrong? So I think once you are in a relationship,
whether it be co -parenting or family or friends,
if you can find a relationship where someone
hears you and understands you and then connects
with that, then you have the support to know
that the things you're doing are supported and
that they are met with, I'm here if you need
help, I'm here if you need an ear. And also...
I'm here when it goes wrong and bad because those
days happen. So you need that level of support.
Yeah. And so I think everybody needs a strong
support network when raising a family with differences.
And then your twin girls are in the mix as well.
Yes. And then once James and I's relationship
unfortunately did break down and we had then
decided that the boys needed to be separate.
And after a couple of years, I went on to meet
Carl. who's a teacher, and I went on to have
two more children. What was it like seeing their
relationship with the boys? It seems wonderful
from what I... It is really special. I mean,
at first, again, I was on eggshells. Oh, my God,
I've got a baby back in the house. Jude hates
babies. Jude hates babies. And he did hate babies
still. Jude doesn't like babies. You know, babies
are just a creature to him that is not acceptable
in his... world so navigating that again was
fun and tiring but now they've got older they're
growing up in a world that's very different from
maybe a lot of their friends because they do
have brothers that have high support needs and
they are growing up with empathy they're going
up with learning that different is not less and
that we all are very very different and there
is ways to be still bonded with someone in a
different way. And they've learned that without
words, you know, without pressure, without expectation,
just leading with love. And it's great. Following
your model, I suppose, but also children are
just so great at it. I feel like. just watching
in my specialist provision is attached to a mainstream
school and the mainstream children for the most
part just know what to do they get down to my
children's level they use less verbal they use
really smiling kind soft faces like they just
know children are incredible they really are
and it starts with them you know they are the
future us they are the people that will go on,
you know, my daughters will be here long after
me advocating for Jude and Tommy and for people
like Jude and Tommy. And I want them to lead
in the same way that we have always led with,
which is, you know, kindness, you know, clear
communication of just knowing that what there
is, I think the hardest thing is when the why's
come. Mummy, why doesn't, you know, Jude? Why
doesn't he want to talk to me? Why doesn't he
like me being in a room at the same time as me?
And I think when you can sit down and break that
down for someone and make them understand this
is not a you thing, you know, and it's like life,
isn't it? You know, if our friends aren't texting
us back or we feel left out, we always think
it's an us thing. It's actually not. Sometimes
it's got nothing to do with us. And I make them
understand that this isn't a you thing. This
is a Jude thing. And if Jude needs space today,
that's not a reflection on you. That's nothing
that you've done wrong. It's just Jude is having
a hard day today and we need to give him the
space that that takes to, you know, get through
what he's going on, what's going on in his mind.
So I think they're learning that quickly, which
helps, I think, with all things, you know, girls
being seven and not feeling already, you know,
included enough and their friends don't, you
know, want to play with them today, but yesterday
they did. So I think they're understanding that.
You know, instead of it always being thinking,
bringing it back to you, it's not about you.
It's about them. And that's okay. And how lovely
that they have each other as well. That is a
godsend. Yeah. I think I do feel sometimes that,
you know, it was meant to be that way. You know,
knowing that they're going to have to make very
big decisions in life when I'm not here. And
I think knowing that they do that together and
that's not on one person brings me a lot of comfort.
Absolutely. So you've just started, or I say
just started, has it been nearly a year now?
Like we recently just started sharing from you.
No, it's three months. Oh, has it? Three months,
my goodness. Yeah. On social media. Three months.
And it was a big announcement. I mean, God, it's
gone wild, hasn't it? Because I think people
are just enamored with your family and how your
dynamic and how it works. I mean, how the hell
you are making this work with so much love and
communication and collaboration is so inspiring
for so many. What made you want to start sharing?
I think I'd always kind of been the sort of hidden.
you know, secret squirrel behind what goes on
in stories about autism. Yes, they knew there
was a mum. Yes, they knew that, you know, but
I guess they, it was so, well, what's she like?
And I think it took a long time for me to want
to do it. I had no need to do it. I didn't feel
ready in a way, but I also never sort of thought,
oh, I'd like to do it. I'm just scared. I literally
just never thought about it. And then we, James
and I. I started SAA back in December 2023. And
I think after that, I realized what powerful
connections can be made in this community, what
a difference it makes to people to share a story
and make them feel less alone. And from there,
I was like, okay, now I'm ready. Now I get it.
Now I want to share my story because I want...
to make people feel like I did today when I spoke
to Sarah in the shop who came in and shared her
story. And I wanted more of that. And I thought,
okay, now I'm ready. And I was scared because
James is like the guru to me, you know, doing
this for 10 years and sharing our children's
stories so beautifully. and so delicately but
also so impactfully that I didn't want to kind
of come in and and compare to that we're very
very different my stories are much more my day
-to -day life and I have two more children than
James and I'm a mum and a woman very different
it is a very different dynamic isn't it and I
think it's really lovely to hear from you that's
why I wanted you on here it's really lovely to
hear your take on it because lots of people know
James's take and they've been following him for
a long time and it's really I think it's really
important that we get to hear from both of you,
you being such a big part of the Boys Eyes and
the SAA, you know, organisation, community, family.
I just never realised the power of community
until SAA. And for us, like I've said many times
before, it's never been about selling a hoodie
or a T -shirt. It's the story behind that family
who's buying it, the impact that it has wearing
that and being part of something. And it's just
so beautiful and so magical. Through SAA, we
have set so many amazing things up. We've done
community days. We've done huge things within
our town to spread awareness. We've gone into
schools and spoke to the schools about, you know,
what it is like to be different and how, you
know, you can make a difference in someone's
day. There's been so many beautiful, powerful
things that have come from it that I'm just,
yeah, I'm so... just blessed really to be part
of this community I've experienced it myself
I was wearing a love needs no words t -shirt
and I spotted someone in Cornwall spotted someone
wearing the love needs no words sweater and we
just had a moment like no completely non -speaking
non -verbal didn't cross the road but we just
had a moment of like I get you I see you yeah
like you are important to me Like you're not
alone. And like, so I've experienced that myself
and it's so powerful that I'm so pleased that
so many people are getting to experience that,
that even in the most isolated days, like you
were talking about before, when you're not connecting
with your child or not feeling like you're connecting
with your child, you don't know the answers.
You are on the waiting list. You feel like you're
the last of the pack. You know, you feel like
no one's there for you. Just seeing. a logo or
a statement on some clothing in town and that
makes that difference so much difference because
it just reminds you there is a whole community
and family out there that are rooting for you
that see you that get it you are not you're not
alone and that is that is SAA to me Yeah, and
that is exactly what it is. And I think this
is just the beginning for us. We have so many
plans and so many, and we want to just keep building
and building and building on what differences
we can make to the community and how we can keep
pushing forward to make people feel seen and
to make people feel, you know, less alone. And
that's where, you know, our community really
needs the help. I've always been a big believer
in, you know, if I could change one thing, I'd
change the diagnosis. kind of process it needs
to start with the parents and offer them therapy
support counseling and then from there once you've
in tuned into the parents then they can start
growing and supporting their child because so
many parents are left with a leaflet or a diagnosis
and they don't know what's coming next and if
you are educated and you feel less alone and
you feel strong then you can support your child
in ways that are so so powerful yeah it makes
so much sense that if the parent's strong then
the children will have the support of strong
parent and there is so much that people don't
know like you know you obviously you being sort
of sensory classroom sensory integration has
been a huge huge part of our parenting journey
without it we wouldn't have been half as successful
in the games that we've had with June and Tommy
Tommy is extremely sensory based, even so much
so that his ball, because Tommy was always Tommy
and his ball, and he'd take his ball everywhere
and he's amazing with it. And it's so important
that it's actually built into his EHCP plan,
that that ball is part of his learning and is
part of his day. And he needs that ball to regulate.
He needs that ball to be able to, you know, go
on to the next stage. And parents don't know
that those things are possible. If a ball or
a sensory break every 10 minutes in an hour makes
a difference to your child's learning journey,
then you can get that written into your EHCP
and then that will become part of his day. But
parents don't know what you can and can't do.
And I think for us, being much further down the
road, we realise that there is so much around
your child that makes a difference. You just
need to know how to access it. and then put it
into play. I suppose that's another thing where
the community comes in. It's not just, I see
you, you're not alone, but it's practical things.
Like, how do you get... pads provided you know
before six years old how do you get a my safe
bed how do you get an aac device what aac all
of these questions there are so many questions
rather than trying to rewrite the wheel and searching
these things from scratch you know reach on the
community lean on your community and build relationships
you know i build really strong relationships
with my bus drivers that take my children to
school i have great relationships with the teachers
because actually they're spending as much time
if not more so with Jude and Tommy than we are.
If we need to go somewhere on holiday and we're
scared, the first people I phone is the teachers
and say, we're going on holiday. We're scared.
And they say, let's do this together. You know,
and there is so much power in building strong
relationships with every person. And I think
at the beginning, sometimes you feel a little
bit like everything's a fight. Yeah, I've heard
that. If you take that away sometimes and start
just building relationships. Then suddenly one
day you look around and you're like, wow, I've
got the most incredible team of people around
me. But that takes work. You know, I'm not just
friends with my bus drivers because it happened.
I make them a cup of tea every morning when I
don't have time and I haven't had much sleep.
And I buy an extra pack of biscuits every week.
So I go out there every morning, I make tea,
I make coffee and I bring them biscuits. And
just doing that has made a huge difference to
our relationship. You know, if I'm running five
minutes late because things are good, I don't
get, we've got another child to pick up. Come
on, come on. I get met with so much more kindness
and that makes everything so much easier. It's
tiny things that make differences. Yeah, tiny
but impactful. Again, it helps them feel seen
and understood, doesn't it? And then in turn,
they see you as somebody that deserves to be
seen. And if you know, I think there's lots of
things at first, everything seems so overwhelming.
Teachers are like, we're doing this in class,
we think it's really successful. I think you
should carry this at home. And then you don't
carry it at home because you're too tired and
you can't be bothered. But then you're wondering
why little Johnny isn't progressing as well.
You have to also work with them, you know, not
against them. And at the beginning, I think sometimes
that was harder. And I was like, I've already
got a million things to do. I now don't want
to do this. And I'd realized then that actually
he wasn't getting what he could have out of school
or out of another activity because I wasn't also
implementing it at home, which I think once I
said, thought to myself, okay, it's not the school's
responsibility to potty train or to get Jude
and Tommy dry. I have to kind of go with exactly
the method they're going with and we need to
work together. But then suddenly these things
start to become easier when you're all just in
it together. It makes so much sense. It's interesting
you saying that because I always have, I always
try not to have any expectation of the parents
to do anything that we're doing at school, which
is probably wrong. Like I always assume like
they're learning things that they can't learn
with us, like bath time, siblings, dynamics,
family times, days out, like cooking. They're
the things that we can't necessarily teach. Like
they're still learning. It's just different.
And I try so hard not to put any expectation
on parents because like you say, they have so
much on already. Just the fact that the children
are coming in safe, happy, regulated and like
clean as much as you can at the beginning of
the day. And I'm happy to see them and welcome
them with loving arms at the end of the day.
That's what I ask. But it's really interesting
you say that because, yeah, of course, if parents
are using AAC at home and the children are using
it at school, then they are going to make more
progress. They just are. And it needs to be the
same way, you know, because and I think that's
why it's important. But also it goes secondhand.
You know, if I'm struggling with toothbrushing
at home, I bring the toothpaste and the toothbrush
and say. Let's work on this. And the school are
like, absolutely, let's do that for a month.
We'll do it with you. We'll do it for you. You
know, it is a two -way thing. And they are the
first people to help and support. And I now have
adapted with the way they do things at school.
We need to do it at home too. But like you say,
it does work both ways, doesn't it? It's both
being willing to support and adjust and like
write social stories for when you're going on
a... family trip but then you are reading the
social story that's preparing them from a school
trip and all of those kind of things it's yeah
it's doing things to support each other which
ultimately we're all just here because we adore
and I don't think you should feel guilty about
asking parents to work alongside you you know
we're not just teaching our children phonics
and you know how to prepare for the SATs we're
teaching our children life skills yeah so If
you're putting in the right structures and the
communication to support that and help, it needs
to be also at home. And that's when the progress
really happens. And it is hard work. It is tiring.
But if you want progress, it is hard work. Yeah,
it makes sense. That's amazing. I think that's
a lovely place too. An encouraging place to finish
for everyone that's listening, whether they are
school -based or home -based, to ultimately find
your community. by helping others them helping
in return finding family community support network
there are people out there that are ready for
you to support and support we're better together
basically is what it comes down well they say
don't they it takes a village but you have to
invest in that village and you have to build
it and you have to give back to the village too
for them to give and help you too so I love that
so much, Charlotte. Thank you so much for joining
me. Thanks for having me. It's been so insightful
sharing your wisdom and I'm sure that everybody
listening will feel really inspired to kind of
reach out, I think, is the ultimate. ultimate
uh aim and focus of this conversation so thank
you no thanks for having me it's been really
really nice so everybody go and follow charlotte
on at twins underscore tides underscore and underscore
autism underscore vibes so twins tides and autism
vibes on all social media and then what is the
saa website because i know people are going to
ask so the handle is at saa but the website is
www .saacloving Amazing. Thank you so much Charlotte.
It's been a pleasure. Thanks Jordan. Bye.