WEBVTT

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Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education

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teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything

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communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson

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ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged

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4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in

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the field answering your questions and sharing

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our knowledge and experience working alongside

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our beautiful young people. Let's get started.

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Hello everybody and welcome to the Sensory Classroom

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podcast. Today I am joined by parents Emily and

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Stuart from Journey to Autism and I particularly

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wanted this couple on because their little one

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is starting school in September and also Emily

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comes from a background of mainstream teacher

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and SENCO and I just think that dynamic is really

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interesting from supporting at school to supporting

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as a parent because it is a very different role

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and I thought you'd be interested in that. Welcome

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Emily and Stuart. Hey, nice to be on. Of course.

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When I heard about your different roles that

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you play within the SEN space, I was really intrigued

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as to how that plays out with your journey as

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a parent and supporting your child. So what does

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your family dynamic look like, I suppose? Let's

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start there. So it's just us and Noah. So Noah

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literally turned four last month. And like you

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say, he is starting school in September, which

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is very scary, but exciting as well, actually.

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So he's diagnosed autistic, is that right? Yeah.

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Yeah. And does he only recently just got his

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diagnosis or how did that come about? So he was

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diagnosed the week he turned three. So basically

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a year ago, kind of to this day, probably around

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now, we started the journey to diagnosis. I kind

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of... We always felt that something was a bit

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different and we sort of saw that from probably

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day dot, didn't we? I remember we said like,

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why is everything so tricky? When we were like,

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everything is just challenging. And then it was

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around 18 months that we kind of got a letter

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in with the GP and then that started the diagnosis

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journey. And then, yeah, when he turned three,

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he was diagnosed with autism and global development

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delay as well. What kind of things were you seeing?

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Pre -18 months. Sleep? Yeah. Okay, so lack of

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sleep. I'm seeing lack of sleep, even this morning.

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Yeah, sleep's always been a thing. Just, I think,

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also, like, we didn't necessarily know it then

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as much, but kind of sensory differences. He

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was always on the go. Even as, like, a really,

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really newborn, he was so alert. Would never,

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like, sit still, would always be wriggling, would

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go on his pram. Yeah. Just kind of, not irritable.

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But very kind of... Yeah, because he was always

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quite a happy baby, actually. And he's still

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pretty happy, apart from when he's dysregulated

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now. But yeah, he was just, I'd say... Always

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wanting something. Always needing something.

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Always very alert. Like, everything that kind

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of might just come with time never did. And we

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were like, oh, this is tricky. And we knew, obviously,

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any parenting is going to be challenging. But

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it just felt that bit trickier. Yeah, so I think

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it was that kind of social interaction was always

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slightly different. I wouldn't say he's ever

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kind of been, you hear that phrase, don't you,

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in his own world. And I wouldn't say he is really

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in his own world. He wants to kind of interact

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with us and wants to show us things he's interested

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in. But on his terms, always on his terms. And

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like based on his interests, animals are his

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thing. So everything we do. Yeah, ARFID. So he's

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not diagnosed with ARFID. it is basically they've

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put probable arthage because there isn't a team

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near us that diagnose yeah it's quite common

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his age yeah yeah i've seen you've had um here

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before haven't you about arthage and it's a whole

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that's probably that's probably the biggest thing

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And they're most stressful, isn't it? As a parent

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for your child not to be eating. And I think

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like with other things you can kind of, I don't

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know, seek support and put things in place. And

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like we've always been quite, and probably from

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my teacher background, like quite on board with

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like putting in different speech and language

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things, different sensory things like messy play.

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But with ARFID, it's kind of a whole new ballgame

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because actually what you would do for a picky

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eater really doesn't work for a child with ARFID.

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And it's constant worry, isn't it? Constant every

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single day. I find that the hardest thing. So

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when we go to sleep, has he eaten enough? Have

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we done enough? Has he been exposed to enough

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things? How many of his certain foods that he

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likes has he eaten? I'm like, we're down to two

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at the minute. But even like kind of early signs,

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like even when we started the weaning journey,

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he never kind of accepted foods like a typical

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child, if you like. And it's all very kind of

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sensory based. But then he's got a lot of allergies

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as well. So potentially. So hard, isn't it? Not

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trauma, but kind of. where he has experienced

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a reaction and then yeah he'll relate that food

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to that ill feeling won't he yeah he definitely

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does he's got a really really good memory there's

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a few little challenges that we've got yeah as

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first -time parents though were you doubting

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yourself like is it is he you know autistic or

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or is are we just seeing things is it just us

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because you have no siblings to prepare to Doubted

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ourselves. We just thought, my God, we just don't

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get it right. Yeah, is this normal? Is this how

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parenting is? I remember Stuart saying to me

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really early on, he's like, surely this is what

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everyone goes through. Like, there was no sleep

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and you can't just give him a biscuit and he'll

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sit in front of the telly. You couldn't do that.

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No, no. There was always seemed to be some...

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issue obstacle yeah yeah I think like I think

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I think we I definitely kind of up until the

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age of one I remember saying to my mum for example

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and to Stuart and my dad like oh you don't think

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he's autistic do you And I would just kind of

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say it, but didn't actually necessarily think

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that was the case until he probably was around

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one. And then I think I was uncertain. But I

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was in denial. Yeah, sure. Were you? Can we talk

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about that? Are you okay to talk about that,

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Stuart? Because I think that's really common

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for one parent and the other, especially with

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your same background, Emily. I can imagine that

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you were kind of prepared for it. You knew what

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autism meant in a family. I'd say exactly that.

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I think also like knowledge is power, isn't it?

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And like actually... The unknown is what's scary.

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So a lot of autism, to me, I don't see it in

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any way a negative thing. It's just a different

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thing. Whereas I think when you don't have so

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much kind of understanding or kind of background

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in it, it is really scary. And like there definitely

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has been times where I've felt scary too. But

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you'd heard about it. You'd seen children with

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it. Whereas I kind of had heard it fleetingly

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and it was like this big kind of all -compassing,

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all -scary kind of, I don't want that. Absolutely.

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And there's lots of misconceptions, isn't there?

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I mean, you said one perfectly, that he isn't

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lost in his world. Actually, he seeks out interaction.

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And I'm guessing those thoughts of those misconceptions

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of autism are playing on your mind. Well, he

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can't because he seeks out cuddles and I don't

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know. To be honest, like, I wouldn't exactly

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say I'm 100 % like... Embracing? Uncomfortable.

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Do you know what I mean? I think that's really

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honest. I don't think that's really honest. And

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I think as a parent as well, like, although we're

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fairly, I would say, quite open about how we

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feel about things. And I think actually that's

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kind of beneficial to other people. But like

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when people say, oh, would you change it? And

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actually I wouldn't ever change Noah, but I would

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100 % change a lot of the things that he finds

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really challenging every day. If I could take

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away his fear of food, I would. Like, why wouldn't

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I? It is so tricky for him. And it's hard for

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us, but one thing that you say constantly is...

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I know what you're going to say. Think about

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him. Well, how is he feeling? And how is he looking

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at it? And that is something that kind of really

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resonates with me. And I think, yeah, God, I'm

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having a tough time. He's the one. He's only

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four. He's trying to communicate and do all these

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things, but he can't. So it's like, yeah, that

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really does put it into perspective. I just think

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like when he's dysregulated or he's pretty much

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non -speaking, he'll say a few words, but basically

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animal words, animal names. pretty much um he

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loves animals we're surrounded by animals he'll

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say wildebeest but he wouldn't say cookie i love

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autism for that i love that Noah's first word

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was bonjour from Peppa Pig. And then second word

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was dinosaur. Wow. Isn't it incredible? I just

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think they're just amazing, aren't they? I do

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love how you totally see everything through a

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different lens, like being a parent of an autistic

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child. But that doesn't take away from the fact

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that it is really, really tough. And I think...

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And quite a lot of it's kind of in silence. Yeah.

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Like he appears like a normal, normal kid. to

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some extent and then it's like people don't see

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like behind closed doors he'll go into it he'll

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do this he'll do that is that what you're hearing

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especially in the early days were you hearing

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less so now but I think that's not people saying

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it in a bad sense it's just for me you mentioned

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autism now I know a reasonable amount but before

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it's like you you want to say something so and

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you want to kind of normalize it so it's that

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sort of phrase is like well we're trying to connect

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not that it not that we take offense but it's

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like that completely is not true it's like so

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far like with everything like with um with the

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speaking for example everyone be like oh oh and

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the sleep like oh when he gets to two i'm sure

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he'll sleep then when he gets to two and a half

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i'm sure he'll start talking it was three months

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wasn't it three months get to three months get

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to six months Then it was 18 months and now we're

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still four years in. And that's not helpful,

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is it? So what would have been helpful to hear

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in those early days from those around you? I

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think it's people, and again, like you said,

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it's not people trying to do it in a negative

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way. I don't think it comes from a negative place

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at all. No, it doesn't. But I think what actually

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is probably most helpful is people just listening

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and almost affirming, that must be really tough.

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Like, is there anything I can do to help? And

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not always trying to... say oh it's okay or he'll

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do it in a minute because that just diminishes

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like your experience i think actually saying

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it's it's tough it's tough yeah and oh my goodness

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like I kind of appreciate what you're going through.

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And, like, also, people say, I can't imagine,

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like, tell me about that. Like, wanting, and

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to be fair, like, our families, our friends are

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fab because they do want to learn more. Everyone's

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very, like, neuroaffirming. That's why you started

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your own. Yeah, and that's kind of why I started

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Journey to Autism, actually, because we don't

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have... diagnosed autism in our families or neurodiversity

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that we know of and in our friendship groups

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there aren't children who have diagnosis so it

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was really lonely as a parent and unless you're

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living it like that's why I guess we're like

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so close and each other's rock because unless

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you're living it you can't imagine you have to

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be strong I can't imagine I just don't think

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I would cope on my own like yes we argue and

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we bicker and but the sort of forefront is the

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sprint because you'd be able to do it if there

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wasn't both like both of us big respect to yeah

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single parents single parents like amazing wow

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so that was kind of the the reason for the journey

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to Austin really was to connect with other people

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in similar situations and also I felt like I

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learned more from people who have been through

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it and people in those similar situations than

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any professional unfortunately um and it felt

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really tough it was kind of not what can we do

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to help from the professionals yeah it was almost

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like breaking down barriers and knocking down

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doors but not just one you had to knock down

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about four yeah try and even get any support

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and then when you get something it's not really

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that helpful no it's a fight isn't it and I think

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unfortunately I wish it was different I wish

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I could tell you different unfortunately that

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fight is quite repetitive throughout their life

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it's It seems to, through lack of funding, lack

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of support, lack of locals. And it's not against

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anybody who's in the profession trying to help.

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No, it's not individuals. It's like a blanket

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umbrella systemic issue, isn't it? And that's

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what we found. And even like, again, I guess

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because we are quite open, we've had those conversations

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with... different professionals we come into

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contact with and they definitely feel the same

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frustrations as us they're like we wish we could

00:12:29.559 --> 00:12:32.240
do more like or oh we used to offer this support

00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:34.019
but unfortunately there's no commissioning for

00:12:34.019 --> 00:12:36.679
it anymore and it's just like this is mad and

00:12:36.679 --> 00:12:38.620
everything's about early intervention and like

00:12:38.620 --> 00:12:41.429
all my professional training is about early intervention

00:12:41.429 --> 00:12:43.950
and the importance of that and then even like

00:12:43.950 --> 00:12:45.769
from a family who have kind of been fighting

00:12:45.769 --> 00:12:48.870
from 18 months of age and with knowledge behind

00:12:48.870 --> 00:12:51.590
us to support kind of us to get that support

00:12:51.590 --> 00:12:54.529
it's still still really easy and how do families

00:12:54.529 --> 00:12:57.889
do it without that background of literally em

00:12:57.889 --> 00:13:00.330
comes out with these massive big words and i'm

00:13:00.330 --> 00:13:03.289
like i just don't have a clue yeah if you didn't

00:13:03.289 --> 00:13:05.429
know the protocol if you didn't know those what

00:13:05.429 --> 00:13:08.929
those acronyms men if you didn't know what what

00:13:08.929 --> 00:13:12.389
offers were out there, how would families navigate

00:13:12.389 --> 00:13:15.809
it? And you sort of close the door and because,

00:13:15.970 --> 00:13:17.929
especially with Noah, this is kind of his safe

00:13:17.929 --> 00:13:21.429
space, you kind of almost want to block everything

00:13:21.429 --> 00:13:24.389
out and it is a struggle to go out the door.

00:13:25.169 --> 00:13:28.230
It is worth reiterating that there are other

00:13:28.230 --> 00:13:32.590
people going through. They're just unseen. And

00:13:32.590 --> 00:13:35.970
it is good to talk. Social media is great. for

00:13:35.970 --> 00:13:39.490
that as well and it's like don't get stuck because

00:13:39.490 --> 00:13:42.149
i i was depressed wasn't i probably yeah probably

00:13:42.149 --> 00:13:45.129
still am like as i said i'm still coming to terms

00:13:45.129 --> 00:13:47.070
with everything it's yeah it's tough it really

00:13:47.070 --> 00:13:50.149
is tough like yeah just go away because you can't

00:13:50.149 --> 00:13:53.070
fix it you can't you can't control it it just

00:13:53.070 --> 00:13:55.730
is and i think that that will stem into some

00:13:55.730 --> 00:13:58.269
mental health because it's not like oh just go

00:13:58.269 --> 00:14:00.470
and exercise or just go and drink this thing

00:14:00.470 --> 00:14:03.580
and actually it works it's like no this This

00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:06.279
is it. And actually, you can't control what support

00:14:06.279 --> 00:14:08.960
you get. You can't control how hard the fight

00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:12.559
is. You can't control what school he goes to.

00:14:12.659 --> 00:14:15.220
It's so little control, and yet you care so much

00:14:15.220 --> 00:14:17.399
about him that you just want to do everything

00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:19.779
you can. And that, of course, brings you into

00:14:19.779 --> 00:14:22.419
a place of feeling out of control. And I think

00:14:22.419 --> 00:14:25.080
that's really hard because, like... kind of in

00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:27.519
our jobs in the rest of our life I would say

00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:29.659
we kind of have stuff together like we are quite

00:14:29.659 --> 00:14:32.700
in control people and that's definitely my coping

00:14:32.700 --> 00:14:36.100
mechanism is to feel in control to try and learn

00:14:36.100 --> 00:14:38.500
as much as possible and that's how I cope with

00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:41.000
it and to talk and to kind of share but you're

00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:43.580
so right because actually you can do everything

00:14:43.580 --> 00:14:46.000
that someone tells you is the right thing to

00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:48.159
do with Noah and then Noah might have his own

00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:51.379
agenda and it will not work and it's kind of

00:14:51.379 --> 00:14:54.129
I think like the biggest thing for me is It's

00:14:54.129 --> 00:14:56.710
like that acceptance. And actually, and I think

00:14:56.710 --> 00:14:59.950
like you... Being like focused by him. Being

00:14:59.950 --> 00:15:03.190
led by him. And we've gone out the door. He won't

00:15:03.190 --> 00:15:04.610
put his shoes on. So he's got him in the car.

00:15:04.750 --> 00:15:07.070
He won't go to his car seat. And we've sat there.

00:15:07.230 --> 00:15:09.429
No joke for like an hour. He won't go in his

00:15:09.429 --> 00:15:12.190
car seat. Doesn't want to go inside. And you

00:15:12.190 --> 00:15:15.330
just have to be led by him. And you're kind of

00:15:15.330 --> 00:15:18.169
half in tears, crying, laughing, like sad. It's

00:15:18.169 --> 00:15:21.139
like, but... that's sort of being led by him

00:15:21.139 --> 00:15:23.419
and you just have to and i think you kind of

00:15:23.419 --> 00:15:26.299
have your expectation of what parenting is like

00:15:26.299 --> 00:15:28.299
this i would say has been a big thing for us

00:15:28.299 --> 00:15:31.019
is like we have that expectation of what parenting

00:15:31.019 --> 00:15:33.720
would be like and actually i mean naively we

00:15:33.720 --> 00:15:35.940
hadn't even thought about parenting a neurodiverse

00:15:35.940 --> 00:15:38.500
child because neurodivergent child because actually

00:15:38.500 --> 00:15:41.460
there was nothing in our family to suggest that

00:15:41.460 --> 00:15:43.860
that would be the case and and then actually

00:15:43.860 --> 00:15:46.279
what you think parenting is going to be like

00:15:46.279 --> 00:15:48.059
and how you think you're going to be as a parent

00:15:48.700 --> 00:15:50.960
Couldn't be further from what actually life is

00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:53.100
like. And timescales, like if you've got to get

00:15:53.100 --> 00:15:56.240
somewhere for 11, then more often than not, we

00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:59.519
will be late. And it's just... And it's accepting

00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:00.940
that, isn't it? I think when people talk about

00:16:00.940 --> 00:16:03.419
acceptance, it's not just accepting the child.

00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:06.240
You adore the child. That's almost comes naturally

00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:09.139
enough as a parent. It's accepting from the family

00:16:09.139 --> 00:16:10.860
members, maybe not, but accepting from the parents,

00:16:10.899 --> 00:16:14.139
usually that comes hand in hand with just being

00:16:14.139 --> 00:16:16.860
a parent. But it's accepting, yeah, the looks,

00:16:16.899 --> 00:16:20.600
being late. The need for support, the need to

00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:22.919
fight, the adaptations to the home, the adaptations

00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:25.879
on the relationship, your future plans, all of

00:16:25.879 --> 00:16:27.840
those things. It's accepting that I think is

00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:30.480
a hell of a lot harder than accepting the child.

00:16:30.580 --> 00:16:32.820
I think people forget when we're talking about

00:16:32.820 --> 00:16:36.820
autism acceptance, it's not just autism exists

00:16:36.820 --> 00:16:40.039
or these people exist. It's accepting, I don't

00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:42.759
know, I might have to be a little bit late in

00:16:42.759 --> 00:16:46.299
the queue or I might have to... not look when

00:16:46.299 --> 00:16:48.799
somebody's dysregulated in the street I might

00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:51.980
have to lower the lights in my shop even though

00:16:51.980 --> 00:16:54.100
it might upset some other customers you know

00:16:54.100 --> 00:16:57.679
it's acceptance in all aspects I as we've just

00:16:57.679 --> 00:16:59.320
finished acceptance month I think it's quite

00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:03.000
important to talk about that maybe what is acceptance

00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.039
and all the facets that that that that encompasses

00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:09.759
I think it's just being open -minded I think

00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:13.200
certainly the older generation are very set in

00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:15.789
their ways and I came to kind of parenting with

00:17:15.789 --> 00:17:18.349
like, well, this is, the child's going to sort

00:17:18.349 --> 00:17:20.529
of fit into our lives after a certain amount

00:17:20.529 --> 00:17:22.890
of time and then we'll sort of do that. There

00:17:22.890 --> 00:17:26.390
is literally... And then Noah came along. And

00:17:26.390 --> 00:17:29.630
like, it's, that just completely has blown out

00:17:29.630 --> 00:17:33.430
the window. There is nothing normal, day -to

00:17:33.430 --> 00:17:36.250
-day, like stereotypical parenting that we...

00:17:36.460 --> 00:17:39.440
do really no and actually it's about again accepting

00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:42.579
that because yeah we could in like and i think

00:17:42.579 --> 00:17:44.480
that's a journey we've been on isn't it like

00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:47.359
it's actually picking your battles like our whole

00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:49.920
life is eating okay one one example is eating

00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:54.500
in the bed i hate that like oh but no he's eating

00:17:54.500 --> 00:17:57.880
you couldn't yeah safe i have to put up with

00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:01.470
the crumbs and wash it out every day and Do you

00:18:01.470 --> 00:18:03.549
find a kind of, there's a hierarchy in your head

00:18:03.549 --> 00:18:05.650
of, yes, of course we don't want him in the bed,

00:18:05.710 --> 00:18:08.710
but food is more important. It's like a kind

00:18:08.710 --> 00:18:11.410
of a category of, okay, yeah, of course we want

00:18:11.410 --> 00:18:12.930
him to wear his shoes, but actually we need to

00:18:12.930 --> 00:18:14.609
get to this appointment. We need to get to school.

00:18:14.710 --> 00:18:17.670
So the shoes come last. Probably what, five months?

00:18:17.809 --> 00:18:21.150
No, he didn't wear shoes. Yeah. He could not

00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:24.309
tolerate shoes. And it coincided, we kind of

00:18:24.309 --> 00:18:26.150
realised after time, with like a flare up of

00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:28.619
eczema on his feet. But because he has so many

00:18:28.619 --> 00:18:31.500
sensory differences, that slight change of eczema,

00:18:31.559 --> 00:18:33.480
which wasn't much at all, but actually he just

00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:35.519
couldn't tolerate shoes. And then it was like,

00:18:35.559 --> 00:18:37.640
right. And at that point in time, we were like,

00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:41.000
how are we going to like continue and just live?

00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:45.319
But for, and it was over kind of, it was springtime.

00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:46.960
It was probably last year. And he doesn't like

00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:48.839
wearing jumpers. So all through the winter, we

00:18:48.839 --> 00:18:50.819
kind of had long sleeves. Yeah, he'll wear one

00:18:50.819 --> 00:18:54.200
type of top, one type of trousers, and it's long

00:18:54.200 --> 00:18:57.089
sleeve top and like. baggy fit leggings and crops

00:18:57.089 --> 00:19:00.329
and crops we he'll now wear but like and actually

00:19:00.329 --> 00:19:03.269
he will he wouldn't wear a coat we managed to

00:19:03.269 --> 00:19:05.309
get a gilet on him didn't we when it was really

00:19:05.309 --> 00:19:10.109
cold but that took a lot of kind of um and like

00:19:10.109 --> 00:19:14.190
sensory input before and it wasn't easy to get

00:19:14.190 --> 00:19:16.490
him to wear that but i think it's just about

00:19:16.490 --> 00:19:20.349
accepting that that's what he needs and he isn't

00:19:20.349 --> 00:19:22.130
doing it to be difficult he's doing it because

00:19:22.130 --> 00:19:24.430
he's not regulated and i find that i find that

00:19:24.430 --> 00:19:27.240
tough Yeah. As a parent, you're kind of like...

00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:28.380
But you need to give yourself some credit because

00:19:28.380 --> 00:19:30.359
actually you say you find it tough, which you

00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:33.019
do find it tough, but you do everything he needs.

00:19:33.019 --> 00:19:35.380
And it's like you have kind of expected like

00:19:35.380 --> 00:19:38.059
rules and boundaries and everything and they're

00:19:38.059 --> 00:19:40.559
just completely broken. And they are. And he

00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:42.700
has limited, I'd say, understanding of words

00:19:42.700 --> 00:19:44.660
as well. So it's not like you can, I mean, you

00:19:44.660 --> 00:19:46.180
can't reason with any... You can't negotiate

00:19:46.180 --> 00:19:50.019
with him. Yeah. and it's not like you can or

00:19:50.019 --> 00:19:51.740
you couldn't and you can't bribe him with like

00:19:51.740 --> 00:19:54.640
oh a chocolate or or even explain why it's important

00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:58.380
to wear a coat yeah there's not that understanding

00:19:58.380 --> 00:20:00.519
there and actually potentially he doesn't feel

00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:02.839
I don't think he really feels the cold either

00:20:02.839 --> 00:20:04.599
so it's not like he's getting those body messages

00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:06.859
either that oh I actually am cold I need a coat

00:20:06.859 --> 00:20:10.400
um so it's just I think and patience like that's

00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:12.319
been the biggest thing that actually remembering

00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:15.460
that phrase that everything passes Which is easier

00:20:15.460 --> 00:20:17.779
said than done when you haven't slept for five

00:20:17.779 --> 00:20:20.359
years. And I think that is actually like probably

00:20:20.359 --> 00:20:22.460
one of the hardest things is the lack of sleep.

00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:24.440
Because everything feels worse, doesn't it, when

00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:27.859
you're tired? And yeah, but he, I mean, touch

00:20:27.859 --> 00:20:30.299
wood, touch wood, I shouldn't say it, but he

00:20:30.299 --> 00:20:33.059
is slightly better at sleeping in the last two

00:20:33.059 --> 00:20:36.660
weeks. Don't say it. I mean, it's still not great,

00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:39.380
but I'm not being woken every hour, so I'll take

00:20:39.380 --> 00:20:41.920
that as a win. But yeah, I think, like you say,

00:20:42.019 --> 00:20:45.839
kind of every... Like parenting norm, if you

00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:49.519
like, or social norm. No, we couldn't care less

00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:52.259
about social norms and what we thought we were

00:20:52.259 --> 00:20:54.220
going to be like as parents. You don't want to

00:20:54.220 --> 00:20:56.519
sort of come across as moaning because if you

00:20:56.519 --> 00:20:59.119
ask us, we will probably go, yeah, we're all

00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:02.960
right. But actually, we could spend hours about...

00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:04.900
how he hadn't slept, how he wouldn't get dressed.

00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:06.519
I think that's really important to talk about

00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:10.200
because there are so many parents in your shoes.

00:21:10.759 --> 00:21:13.339
From National Autistic Society, they say one

00:21:13.339 --> 00:21:18.140
in 100 is autistic. It is far more like, well,

00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:23.000
one in 10, isn't it? To be neurodivergent or

00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:25.059
certainly have sensory regulation needs. There

00:21:25.059 --> 00:21:27.640
are so many parents out there that are managing

00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:31.480
this alone, together. And social media is a great

00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:33.680
connector, as you said before that, of that's

00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:36.819
a great idea or we're even all just finding it

00:21:36.819 --> 00:21:42.019
difficult together. Just someone else's message

00:21:42.019 --> 00:21:44.819
at 4am when you're thinking you're the only person

00:21:44.819 --> 00:21:47.440
awake in the world and it's really lonely and

00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:49.799
you're really tired. And actually when you then

00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:52.359
sort of on there chatting to someone who is in

00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:55.119
exactly the same situation, like for example,

00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:59.369
so Noah has melatonin. And, I mean, to be fair,

00:21:59.529 --> 00:22:01.549
whether it helps or not, who really knows? I

00:22:01.549 --> 00:22:03.029
think it does help a little bit. It helps you

00:22:03.029 --> 00:22:04.690
get to sleep. It doesn't keep you asleep, I think.

00:22:04.769 --> 00:22:06.789
No, exactly. And that's the biggest thing. But

00:22:06.789 --> 00:22:10.529
then we got the slow -release tablets. And I

00:22:10.529 --> 00:22:13.529
was like, no, I'll be having ARFID and only eating

00:22:13.529 --> 00:22:14.910
two foods. I was like, how am I going to get

00:22:14.910 --> 00:22:16.950
a tablet in, Tim? But, again, power of social

00:22:16.950 --> 00:22:20.710
media, someone showed about, like, using a syringe

00:22:20.710 --> 00:22:22.569
with water. I was like, well, a syringe isn't

00:22:22.569 --> 00:22:24.190
going to work with Noah because, again, that's

00:22:24.190 --> 00:22:28.140
too much demand. But in the end, I was like,

00:22:28.180 --> 00:22:30.319
right, I'm going to put the little, because they're

00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:32.799
like micro tablets, into his straw in his drink.

00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:35.180
And now he drinks it. No problem at all. Doesn't

00:22:35.180 --> 00:22:37.420
even know it's there. Just sucks it up. But I

00:22:37.420 --> 00:22:39.700
wouldn't have even thought about that had I not

00:22:39.700 --> 00:22:42.160
seen that post on social media. And actually,

00:22:42.200 --> 00:22:44.140
that's been life changing because I would not

00:22:44.140 --> 00:22:46.339
have been able to get that tablet into him had

00:22:46.339 --> 00:22:49.000
he not kind of thought of a way in his drink.

00:22:49.299 --> 00:22:51.079
So I think, and it's just like those kind of

00:22:51.079 --> 00:22:53.859
everyday little tips that actually have such

00:22:53.859 --> 00:22:57.660
a big difference. Well, we definitely now know

00:22:57.660 --> 00:22:59.740
about the different areas of autism and like

00:22:59.740 --> 00:23:03.039
kind of the stereotypical what to do and how

00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:05.720
to help. But you quite often find that actually

00:23:05.720 --> 00:23:08.359
in the real life where every child is different,

00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:11.819
neurodiverse or not, that actually they don't

00:23:11.819 --> 00:23:14.019
necessarily work for your child. So it's just

00:23:14.019 --> 00:23:16.779
about kind of getting as many tips as you can.

00:23:17.059 --> 00:23:19.519
Yeah, and sharing. And like, so at the end of

00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:21.720
the month, actually, I'm starting this kind of

00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.480
parent. support group for parents of neurodivergent

00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:28.200
children and that is literally all about just

00:23:28.200 --> 00:23:30.880
getting together like crying together whether

00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:34.900
that's laughter or kind of tough times sharing

00:23:34.900 --> 00:23:37.440
tips like everyone will be at different kind

00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:39.920
of stages of their journey I've kind of had like

00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:43.319
invaluable support from some of they're actually

00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:45.559
parents at the school I work at who have really

00:23:45.559 --> 00:23:48.019
helped when I've been through the HCP process

00:23:48.019 --> 00:23:50.960
with Noah. And like, until you've done it, you

00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:53.440
don't know these things. So then actually, and

00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:55.000
then it's too late because you probably aren't

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:56.319
going to do it again. I hadn't even heard of

00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:59.500
what an HCP was. Yay, this is it. I still don't

00:23:59.500 --> 00:24:01.859
understand what it all is. Luckily, I've done

00:24:01.859 --> 00:24:05.599
it. Yeah. But that's true. The support network

00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:08.359
can be fantastic. Is it in person or virtual?

00:24:08.539 --> 00:24:10.720
So this will be the first meetup and we are going

00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:13.359
to do this in person, which will be kind of Colchester

00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.880
based families and Essex. But then I don't know.

00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:17.519
I don't know where it will go, really, whether

00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:20.240
it will go into kind of doing virtual events.

00:24:20.579 --> 00:24:23.339
I'll probably do some like locally and then some

00:24:23.339 --> 00:24:26.319
virtually and whether it will be just socialising

00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:29.039
or whether potentially I'll do some kind of sharing

00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:32.549
of information as well in the long term. Or like

00:24:32.549 --> 00:24:34.849
a chat group or something that you can just informally

00:24:34.849 --> 00:24:37.309
message. Exactly. I just think like the power

00:24:37.309 --> 00:24:40.210
of kind of community and finding people in a

00:24:40.210 --> 00:24:43.190
similar situation to yourselves, that's definitely

00:24:43.190 --> 00:24:45.289
helped me more than anything. And I think like

00:24:45.289 --> 00:24:46.990
as a dad, like that isn't something you agree.

00:24:47.089 --> 00:24:49.589
But I was going to say, females are so good at

00:24:49.589 --> 00:24:52.009
that. It's social media and building connections.

00:24:52.369 --> 00:24:55.250
How do you feel, Stuart? Do you feel like that

00:24:55.250 --> 00:24:57.289
would be helpful to you or that kind of social

00:24:57.289 --> 00:24:59.490
media stuff? To be perfectly honest, I'm still

00:24:59.490 --> 00:25:03.140
a bit like... whoa I don't know whether I fully

00:25:03.140 --> 00:25:08.740
commit to I don't know I guess I guess if I'm

00:25:08.740 --> 00:25:10.839
being completely honest it comes down to kind

00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:15.740
of an acceptance that my child is not neurotypical

00:25:15.740 --> 00:25:20.660
there's still that if I give in if you like then

00:25:20.660 --> 00:25:23.099
that's all over and I'm sort of losing sight

00:25:23.099 --> 00:25:28.890
but that being said I 100 % I kind of second

00:25:28.890 --> 00:25:32.170
feed everything that this one gets. Yeah. But

00:25:32.170 --> 00:25:37.690
it's tough. I can't quite explain it, but as

00:25:37.690 --> 00:25:40.089
a dad, you're kind of macho and you want the

00:25:40.089 --> 00:25:42.230
best and you want this and that and you want

00:25:42.230 --> 00:25:45.349
your son or daughter to be the best. And then

00:25:45.349 --> 00:25:50.210
you get hit with this wave of autism and neurotypical.

00:25:50.529 --> 00:25:54.569
Yeah, global delay. And it's like, oh my God,

00:25:54.650 --> 00:25:59.039
what? what is my child going to turn up? Are

00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:02.220
they going to have a normal life? And it's kind

00:26:02.220 --> 00:26:05.579
of, I don't even. No one can answer that. So

00:26:05.579 --> 00:26:09.119
I've worked with 400 plus children, lots and

00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:11.339
lots that everything you're describing now, I

00:26:11.339 --> 00:26:14.259
can kind of imagine it. And I still can't tell

00:26:14.259 --> 00:26:17.869
you what could or couldn't be because. Their

00:26:17.869 --> 00:26:20.109
journeys are so different. They say, don't they,

00:26:20.190 --> 00:26:23.250
you meet one autistic person, you've known one

00:26:23.250 --> 00:26:26.549
autistic person. Every single child I have is

00:26:26.549 --> 00:26:29.809
not similar to each other in any or in some ways,

00:26:29.890 --> 00:26:33.269
but they really are unique. I'm not just saying

00:26:33.269 --> 00:26:36.569
that. And some have gone on to go to college

00:26:36.569 --> 00:26:39.250
and have jobs and live semi -independently or

00:26:39.250 --> 00:26:41.960
independently and have relationships. And others

00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.000
haven't. Others live in assisted living or live

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:47.799
at home or live with siblings. Some of them volunteer.

00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:49.980
Some of them don't. They have a PA and they go

00:26:49.980 --> 00:26:54.079
out for the day. And they all look like Noah

00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:58.940
at five. Yeah. So I can't answer the future just

00:26:58.940 --> 00:27:01.519
as much as any other person can. And I don't

00:27:01.519 --> 00:27:04.059
know if that gives you comfort or not. It's just,

00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:06.420
it just is. That's the hardest thing, isn't it?

00:27:06.579 --> 00:27:08.980
That's the hardest thing. It's a journey for

00:27:08.980 --> 00:27:12.380
Noah and it's a journey for us. And it's just

00:27:12.380 --> 00:27:15.579
accepting it. And whether you embrace it full

00:27:15.579 --> 00:27:18.240
on straight away or you gradually kind of come

00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:21.400
into it and learn and take little bits. I think

00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:26.339
for a guy, going to a group is really quite like

00:27:26.339 --> 00:27:30.660
frightening. Whether it's a neurodivergent parenting

00:27:30.660 --> 00:27:32.880
group. Like you just wouldn't, like normally,

00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.119
stereotypical, isn't it? Like the dad is normally

00:27:36.119 --> 00:27:38.789
full -time work. And then the mum is the one

00:27:38.789 --> 00:27:40.569
who's part -time. I know that's not always true.

00:27:40.569 --> 00:27:42.529
And you've got your friends and... Yeah, you're

00:27:42.529 --> 00:27:43.990
always a bit like that, aren't you? She was always

00:27:43.990 --> 00:27:45.569
like, I've got loads of friends. They're great.

00:27:45.630 --> 00:27:48.710
I don't need any more friends. But it is true.

00:27:48.849 --> 00:27:52.549
Like, they don't get it. No, no, they don't.

00:27:52.549 --> 00:27:55.309
And they try, but they can't. Yeah. And I think

00:27:55.309 --> 00:27:57.289
that's, for me, why I'm like, I don't think,

00:27:57.369 --> 00:27:59.650
and it's no reflection on them as friends, but,

00:27:59.670 --> 00:28:02.789
like, parenting a neurotypical child, you just

00:28:02.789 --> 00:28:06.259
can't get it. Because, actually, his... unbelievable

00:28:06.259 --> 00:28:08.680
some of the things that happen and we're like

00:28:08.680 --> 00:28:11.920
oh my god what is happening do you follow stories

00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.460
about autism he's an essex -based dad yeah yeah

00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:18.559
from burnham on crouch and he i think following

00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:20.980
him would be really helpful because you don't

00:28:20.980 --> 00:28:22.880
have to chat to him in the dms you don't have

00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:24.940
to set up a group with him or meet up with him

00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:27.880
in person but just following his journey he's

00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:30.660
got teenagers now And his boys were probably

00:28:30.660 --> 00:28:34.079
very much like Noah at four. Yeah, yeah. It's

00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:36.640
just maybe a little bit of an insight and a little

00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:40.660
bit of, like, I am not alone in this. That's

00:28:40.660 --> 00:28:42.779
it, at your own pace and knowing that there's

00:28:42.779 --> 00:28:45.839
things there and people suggest things, but it's

00:28:45.839 --> 00:28:48.880
in your own time. Yeah, I think that's probably

00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:51.119
been the thing with families throughout the,

00:28:51.140 --> 00:28:54.759
like, journey of Noah's life so far is that people

00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:58.960
can kind of suggest things or, like... you can

00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:01.519
go to different things. But until you are ready

00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:04.460
as a person and until you've almost got to that,

00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:09.259
I think you, like, do accept that Noah's autistic.

00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:12.160
Yeah, yeah. But equally probably would like to

00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:14.859
change that, like, if we're being honest. And

00:29:14.859 --> 00:29:17.779
I think acceptance is constant. I don't think

00:29:17.779 --> 00:29:20.359
acceptance is ever finished. No, for sure. I

00:29:20.359 --> 00:29:23.400
think with every day and moment, acceptance has

00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:26.890
to... grow and because so much is unknown how

00:29:26.890 --> 00:29:29.569
could you ever now accept who he's going to become

00:29:29.569 --> 00:29:32.269
when you don't know what that is so I think it

00:29:32.269 --> 00:29:35.750
happens daily yearly moment by moment yeah situation

00:29:35.750 --> 00:29:38.769
by situation is that acceptance is you know first

00:29:38.769 --> 00:29:41.470
of all not accepting and then growing and then

00:29:41.470 --> 00:29:43.410
accepting and then there's a new situation not

00:29:43.410 --> 00:29:46.130
accepting I think it's consistent acceptance

00:29:46.130 --> 00:29:48.490
I think that's another thing that people don't

00:29:48.490 --> 00:29:51.900
realize it's just constant Yeah, definitely.

00:29:52.140 --> 00:29:54.140
And I think it is like you hit the nail on the

00:29:54.140 --> 00:29:56.920
head. It's just so hard because you just don't

00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:59.440
know. You don't know what's coming. And I always

00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:01.599
say, we spoke about this before. I was like,

00:30:01.640 --> 00:30:04.079
I would love a crystal ball. Like a timeline.

00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:06.559
To see, right, this is where we're going to get

00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:08.720
to. But I don't know whether I would. But you

00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:10.039
don't think you would like that. But I would

00:30:10.039 --> 00:30:12.880
love that because I would then, I think anyway

00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:15.440
I'd like it, but I'd then know, I would know

00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:17.680
what we're working towards. Like I would know

00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:20.579
the end goal and then I feel like I would then

00:30:20.579 --> 00:30:23.240
be easier able to accept that. Whereas Stuart's

00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:24.960
like, oh God, no, I'd hate that. I wouldn't want

00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:28.059
to like see into the future. But yeah, it is

00:30:28.059 --> 00:30:31.720
tricky. I think also when you are so exhausted,

00:30:31.819 --> 00:30:34.400
and I have definitely been through this stage,

00:30:34.619 --> 00:30:36.559
I didn't want to connect with people because

00:30:36.559 --> 00:30:39.400
I was just so tired. You had nothing left. And

00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:41.380
I didn't have anything left. And I still definitely

00:30:41.380 --> 00:30:43.019
go through times of that where I'm like, oh,

00:30:43.059 --> 00:30:45.259
I'm so mentally drained. It's a huge effort.

00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:48.440
Yeah. go and put on your kind of happy face and

00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:51.000
also they're putting on their stuff onto you

00:30:51.000 --> 00:30:53.819
and you're only just managing your own stuff

00:30:53.819 --> 00:30:56.180
that's that kind of weird social thing isn't

00:30:56.180 --> 00:30:58.180
it of like oh god yeah but they might want me

00:30:58.180 --> 00:31:01.619
to help them yeah i can't do that like through

00:31:01.619 --> 00:31:04.880
my job like i'm not saying but i've done the

00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:06.740
qualification and i've done kind of the acting

00:31:06.740 --> 00:31:10.299
role for a bit as well um So a lot of families

00:31:10.299 --> 00:31:13.660
at work, if they do have a child who has additional

00:31:13.660 --> 00:31:16.039
needs, they will come and talk to me. So I do

00:31:16.039 --> 00:31:18.819
that through my job, which then probably means

00:31:18.819 --> 00:31:21.960
that I find it easier like in my personal life

00:31:21.960 --> 00:31:24.500
too. Whereas I guess like in your role, it's

00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:27.579
nothing at all to do with kind of neurodiversity

00:31:27.579 --> 00:31:31.779
or like parenting. So actually that's so different

00:31:31.779 --> 00:31:34.720
that that is kind of far removed from like your

00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:37.839
norm maybe. And that's why. it isn't necessarily

00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:40.720
something that you find. But then equally, we

00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:42.779
have had conversations where Stuart's like, oh,

00:31:42.799 --> 00:31:44.799
like they just totally don't get it. Or it's

00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:47.200
really sad because like the guys are talking

00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:49.920
about their children doing this. Like, and that's

00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:52.039
so different to Noah, like with bikes, wasn't

00:31:52.039 --> 00:31:54.799
it? Yeah. Yeah. Like both of my good friends

00:31:54.799 --> 00:31:57.720
have got similar age kids to Noah and they were

00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:01.660
talking about riding a bike or, and it was like,

00:32:01.700 --> 00:32:03.759
I was just like, I'm just so far removed from

00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:06.680
this conversation because. Yeah. Yeah, and those

00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:08.539
conversations are going to sting, no matter how

00:32:08.539 --> 00:32:10.700
much you love and accept your child. Nothing

00:32:10.700 --> 00:32:14.000
on them or nothing. It's just that reminder,

00:32:14.059 --> 00:32:18.160
isn't it, of what milestones he may or may not

00:32:18.160 --> 00:32:20.140
reach. And he certainly isn't reaching now. And

00:32:20.140 --> 00:32:22.960
like, and it is, I think I almost, although I

00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:25.519
say I'm really accepting, sometimes I just don't

00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:27.279
think about it. Like, that's probably my coping

00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:30.890
as well. I can't think about it too much. um

00:32:30.890 --> 00:32:34.049
on a like personal mummy level because that's

00:32:34.049 --> 00:32:36.849
too emotional and too tricky but actually i can

00:32:36.849 --> 00:32:39.329
think about it on like a not on a professional

00:32:39.329 --> 00:32:41.390
level but almost on a like so you go into your

00:32:41.390 --> 00:32:43.369
like this is how we're going to do this is what

00:32:43.369 --> 00:32:45.029
we're going to do this is what our strategies

00:32:45.029 --> 00:32:48.009
we've got to use i think i do that don't i otherwise

00:32:48.009 --> 00:32:50.470
you just break down yeah i think so too and sometimes

00:32:50.470 --> 00:32:53.509
too it's like oh that's like a really like matter

00:32:53.509 --> 00:32:55.650
of fact matter of fact way of thinking and talking

00:32:55.650 --> 00:32:57.329
about it but i'm not trying to do that i think

00:32:57.329 --> 00:33:00.559
it's just my coping mechanism yeah not even knowing

00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:02.480
it's your safety zone isn't it because that's

00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:03.599
what you know that's what you're comfortable

00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:05.200
with that's what you're confident in that's what

00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.319
you're trained in it makes sense so much sense

00:33:07.319 --> 00:33:10.359
that you would go to that place because it's

00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:12.180
where you're comfortable it's where you're used

00:33:12.180 --> 00:33:15.259
to it's where you roam the place doing all sorts

00:33:15.259 --> 00:33:17.759
and crying and shouting and running away and

00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:22.720
yeah it's all of it but it's all it's all it

00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:27.140
just is yeah isn't it It's the accepting and

00:33:27.140 --> 00:33:29.119
the accepting of the moment, accepting of the

00:33:29.119 --> 00:33:31.720
second and knowing. Accepting the parent that

00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:35.039
you are as well. Acceptance, not just of them,

00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:38.200
but of yourself. Like this is the dad I am. Yeah.

00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:40.740
And you can't get hung up on, I'm a bad parent.

00:33:40.839 --> 00:33:44.799
I'm not a. And I think like probably one thing

00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:47.839
that we've really learned, but it's still so

00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:50.420
hard, is like not to care too much about what

00:33:50.420 --> 00:33:53.539
other people think. When Noah's literally like

00:33:53.539 --> 00:33:56.099
throwing himself to the floor or like... Throwing

00:33:56.099 --> 00:34:02.220
a chair over. And he looks normal. He looks like

00:34:02.220 --> 00:34:04.940
a neurotypical child. And he looks like he's

00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:07.599
just being a... like having a tantrum basically

00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.599
but actually they don't know that he's got all

00:34:10.599 --> 00:34:13.000
of these things going on that he's obsessed with

00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:15.840
something and fixated on it and he can't communicate

00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:18.800
what it is that he wants and actually what we've

00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:21.440
learned definitely through basically doing everything

00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:24.960
is that trying to stay calm and regulate with

00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:28.960
him is so much more successful and helps him

00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:32.750
but equally we know that And I would share that

00:34:32.750 --> 00:34:34.389
with families at work and that that's really

00:34:34.389 --> 00:34:36.750
important and tell Stuart, like, we need to do

00:34:36.750 --> 00:34:37.989
this. But actually, when you're in the minute

00:34:37.989 --> 00:34:40.789
and you've had no sleep and it's like the fifth

00:34:40.789 --> 00:34:43.349
meltdown of the day and you know that actually

00:34:43.349 --> 00:34:45.090
the problem is that he hasn't eaten for hours

00:34:45.090 --> 00:34:47.289
because he's scared of food and then doesn't

00:34:47.289 --> 00:34:47.809
know that he's hungry. And he's holding a biscuit

00:34:47.809 --> 00:34:50.250
for four hours in his hand. It's not always easy

00:34:50.250 --> 00:34:54.619
to stay calm. equally that's just parenting isn't

00:34:54.619 --> 00:34:56.940
it because we're human and we're not robots and

00:34:56.940 --> 00:34:59.380
you can know all the things you can read all

00:34:59.380 --> 00:35:01.300
the books you can follow all the social media

00:35:01.300 --> 00:35:03.760
accounts and ultimately we are just human and

00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:06.300
they are just our children and yeah ultimately

00:35:06.300 --> 00:35:08.800
that comes down to the like nature side of things

00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:12.480
doesn't it and to accept in that moment as well

00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:16.199
that I accept that I'm tired I accept that I

00:35:16.199 --> 00:35:19.550
reacted How I didn't want to, I accept that.

00:35:19.730 --> 00:35:21.690
You know, it's all of that, isn't it? And also

00:35:21.690 --> 00:35:23.590
just like that we don't always know what's best.

00:35:23.650 --> 00:35:25.769
Like that's definitely been something that like

00:35:25.769 --> 00:35:28.289
going back to kind of him starting school, I

00:35:28.289 --> 00:35:32.309
was so conflicted about what I thought. And like,

00:35:32.329 --> 00:35:34.690
realistically, whatever you think, Em, because

00:35:34.690 --> 00:35:37.550
I'm in education. So I was like, I don't know.

00:35:37.610 --> 00:35:40.190
Like, I don't know whether I think he needs a

00:35:40.190 --> 00:35:41.869
specialist setting, whether I think he needs

00:35:41.869 --> 00:35:43.929
a kind of unit or whether I think he's better

00:35:43.929 --> 00:35:46.030
in mainstream initially. And I didn't even really

00:35:46.030 --> 00:35:48.179
know what. all of these different options what

00:35:48.179 --> 00:35:51.559
it even looked like yeah and i found that so

00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:55.980
um so difficult like to challenge again and that

00:35:55.980 --> 00:35:58.579
partly was difficult because i was in education

00:35:58.579 --> 00:36:01.980
so i feel like i should know um but then equally

00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:05.039
partly difficult because you're just thrown into

00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:07.059
this like all of a sudden you're a child this

00:36:07.059 --> 00:36:09.219
age and it's like this is a really really big

00:36:09.219 --> 00:36:12.280
decision And he's also changing daily. And he's

00:36:12.280 --> 00:36:15.099
changing, yeah. We're like, oh, he's only three

00:36:15.099 --> 00:36:16.780
at this point. Yeah, and at that point also you

00:36:16.780 --> 00:36:19.199
don't want to say that he can or can't ever achieve

00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:21.440
anything and are we going to hold him back? Are

00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:23.960
we going to put him in a situation where he can't

00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:29.260
or he's left out? Yeah. Our parents have their

00:36:29.260 --> 00:36:32.320
opinion on what they thought was best. You were

00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:35.690
kind of like, basically... You didn't know, did

00:36:35.690 --> 00:36:38.409
you? No, we went to see about... Sometimes it

00:36:38.409 --> 00:36:40.210
depends what the local offer is as well. Like,

00:36:40.210 --> 00:36:42.130
you could have a special needs school right next

00:36:42.130 --> 00:36:44.420
to you that... really isn't appropriate just

00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:47.360
how so happens the cohort that year are really

00:36:47.360 --> 00:36:49.599
different from your child i don't know maybe

00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:51.519
your child is sound sensitive and they're just

00:36:51.519 --> 00:36:54.480
a really busy loud group it could be the perfect

00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:56.079
school the perfect class the perfect teacher

00:36:56.079 --> 00:36:58.019
but just that cohort just doesn't work for your

00:36:58.019 --> 00:37:01.579
child so it really really is so individualized

00:37:01.579 --> 00:37:05.019
so difficult that was so difficult um and i'm

00:37:05.019 --> 00:37:08.409
still worried about how is he how is he Yeah,

00:37:08.449 --> 00:37:09.530
can we talk about that? Because obviously with

00:37:09.530 --> 00:37:11.329
Arfid as well, like, there's a lot of, there

00:37:11.329 --> 00:37:14.110
must be a lot of anxiety about school, starting

00:37:14.110 --> 00:37:17.489
school. How is he going to wear a school? He's

00:37:17.489 --> 00:37:20.449
not good. And in his EHCP, it's written in that

00:37:20.449 --> 00:37:22.449
actually, like, reasonable adjustments, basically

00:37:22.449 --> 00:37:24.369
he doesn't have to wear a school uniform. But

00:37:24.369 --> 00:37:27.010
then I'm worried about what other children, and

00:37:27.010 --> 00:37:29.650
I perceive him, and is he going to be kind of,

00:37:29.670 --> 00:37:31.329
you know what I mean? All that sort of aspect.

00:37:31.550 --> 00:37:34.150
Yeah, there's a lot of fear. Yeah. And I think,

00:37:34.150 --> 00:37:37.280
like, you... And sometimes, again, this goes

00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:39.460
back to being tired all the time. I actually

00:37:39.460 --> 00:37:41.199
have the answers to those questions, but because

00:37:41.199 --> 00:37:43.079
we're so tired, we just haven't actually spoken

00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:47.260
about it. And it's like, because I guess, and

00:37:47.260 --> 00:37:49.880
that was kind of why I felt so much, what's the

00:37:49.880 --> 00:37:53.260
word, like pressure almost about getting the

00:37:53.260 --> 00:37:57.039
HCP right was because I knew that actually this

00:37:57.039 --> 00:37:59.639
document is so important to make sure that we

00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:02.119
can give him as much chance as possible to thrive.

00:38:03.069 --> 00:38:04.989
But then equally, it's like, oh, gosh, like,

00:38:05.050 --> 00:38:07.530
that's so much pressure to make sure that you're

00:38:07.530 --> 00:38:09.289
getting everything into it that needs to be in

00:38:09.289 --> 00:38:10.849
there. And you're wonderful for that because,

00:38:11.030 --> 00:38:15.250
like, I literally wouldn't have a clue. And I

00:38:15.250 --> 00:38:17.309
just feel so, like, that's so difficult, isn't

00:38:17.309 --> 00:38:19.349
it, for families who don't have so much money.

00:38:19.369 --> 00:38:21.190
But it does get reviewed every year, and that's

00:38:21.190 --> 00:38:23.449
why, I think, isn't it, so that you can have

00:38:23.449 --> 00:38:26.050
it all initially or you can build it up as things

00:38:26.050 --> 00:38:29.590
happen. So it's okay either way. And the children

00:38:29.590 --> 00:38:32.710
change, don't they? Yeah. be reviewed but equally

00:38:32.710 --> 00:38:34.909
as a parent you want to do everything you can

00:38:34.909 --> 00:38:38.289
don't you to to make your child's life as easy

00:38:38.289 --> 00:38:40.469
as possible and he so he goes to nursery two

00:38:40.469 --> 00:38:44.530
days a week he still doesn't when there's lunch

00:38:44.530 --> 00:38:46.929
times he still doesn't really sometimes he sits

00:38:46.929 --> 00:38:48.889
but not very normally he's like and he kind of

00:38:48.889 --> 00:38:51.750
goes in another room so that's another kind of

00:38:51.750 --> 00:38:54.869
point of oh how's he gonna how's he gonna be

00:38:54.869 --> 00:38:59.050
also the speaking like it's coming on but it's

00:38:59.050 --> 00:39:02.949
very slow so How is he going to get his point

00:39:02.949 --> 00:39:05.289
across other than kicking and screaming? Yeah,

00:39:05.289 --> 00:39:10.869
yeah. These are all such, such useful questions

00:39:10.869 --> 00:39:14.110
to be asking. And others are just going to care.

00:39:14.230 --> 00:39:16.329
But I know that they will because Emily's there.

00:39:16.489 --> 00:39:20.530
But if he was just being shipped off to another,

00:39:20.650 --> 00:39:24.739
like you're giving your kind of like... And you

00:39:24.739 --> 00:39:27.039
are experts in him. You know what these little

00:39:27.039 --> 00:39:28.820
eye movements mean, what his little hand movements

00:39:28.820 --> 00:39:32.099
mean. You know him inside and out. So to be able

00:39:32.099 --> 00:39:35.239
to trust your precious, like you said, your precious

00:39:35.239 --> 00:39:38.539
child with people, with strangers that don't

00:39:38.539 --> 00:39:40.820
know him, don't know his triggers, don't know

00:39:40.820 --> 00:39:43.420
how to calm him. Oh, this means this, this means

00:39:43.420 --> 00:39:47.400
this, you know. I mean, what my advice is as

00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:50.539
a teacher is don't worry about being that parent.

00:39:52.009 --> 00:39:55.070
write everything down, fill in the homeschool

00:39:55.070 --> 00:39:57.309
book. If you want to send him in on the first

00:39:57.309 --> 00:39:59.469
day or in the transition day with A4 pieces of

00:39:59.469 --> 00:40:02.289
paper with everything that he does and why, if

00:40:02.289 --> 00:40:04.630
that's you, do it. Don't worry about being that

00:40:04.630 --> 00:40:06.750
parent. Don't worry about calling up. Don't worry

00:40:06.750 --> 00:40:08.889
about staying at the gate. Don't worry about

00:40:08.889 --> 00:40:11.150
being that parent. So going from two days to

00:40:11.150 --> 00:40:13.610
five days. Right. How is he going to cope? And

00:40:13.610 --> 00:40:16.010
then we also know sometimes when he's come back

00:40:16.010 --> 00:40:18.530
from nursery, he's pretty dysregulated, like

00:40:18.530 --> 00:40:21.369
he kind of shows his emotion. So how's that going

00:40:21.369 --> 00:40:25.769
to cope? And also he does a longer day in terms

00:40:25.769 --> 00:40:27.849
of that nursery and then he's now finishing half

00:40:27.849 --> 00:40:29.349
three. So we're like, how are we going to deal

00:40:29.349 --> 00:40:30.449
with childcare? How are we going to deal with

00:40:30.449 --> 00:40:36.150
childcare? Yeah, wonderful. Just step by step.

00:40:36.230 --> 00:40:39.750
Yeah. Step by step. I'd say over the holidays,

00:40:39.849 --> 00:40:41.769
start, I mean, he doesn't need to wear a uniform,

00:40:41.829 --> 00:40:43.170
but start getting used to whatever clothes he's

00:40:43.170 --> 00:40:44.849
going to be wearing at school. Start getting

00:40:44.849 --> 00:40:48.030
used to shoes. I mean, that, you know, that is...

00:40:48.159 --> 00:40:49.739
maybe the most important thing start getting

00:40:49.739 --> 00:40:51.960
used to transitioning at a certain time in the

00:40:51.960 --> 00:40:53.800
day maybe I mean there's probably flexibility

00:40:53.800 --> 00:40:55.920
around that as well I mean the thing is it's

00:40:55.920 --> 00:40:57.619
that the school sounds incredible and it sounds

00:40:57.619 --> 00:40:59.420
like they're incredibly reasonable and flexible

00:40:59.420 --> 00:41:01.760
so maybe pick like you said pick your battles

00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:04.300
at the beginning maybe pick like a list of right

00:41:04.300 --> 00:41:07.000
what is the absolute most important thing maybe

00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:09.000
it's food in other places you know maybe that's

00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:11.360
the most important thing pick your most important

00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:13.860
fundamental thing and just start there and almost

00:41:13.860 --> 00:41:16.500
forget the rest like forget the uniform forget

00:41:16.500 --> 00:41:19.639
the transition time and him being late you know

00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:22.360
forget four days a week forget full time you

00:41:22.360 --> 00:41:24.000
know all of those kind of things just focus on

00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:26.619
we need him to be able to eat in a different

00:41:26.619 --> 00:41:30.380
chair maybe is the first thing and and and and

00:41:30.380 --> 00:41:32.420
until that's done well there's no point worrying

00:41:32.420 --> 00:41:35.000
about the rest of it because that he can't do

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:38.179
it all and you certainly can't either hand over

00:41:38.179 --> 00:41:43.219
like yeah just getting him to stay and be happy

00:41:43.219 --> 00:41:48.320
and not kick the house But I think the, I guess,

00:41:48.500 --> 00:41:51.079
again, because it is the school I work at, I

00:41:51.079 --> 00:41:54.119
know we are really inclusive. I know that, and

00:41:54.119 --> 00:41:56.360
I think just education has come on so much, hasn't

00:41:56.360 --> 00:41:59.440
it? Like reasonable adjustments and doing, like

00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:01.960
genuinely doing what children need and meeting

00:42:01.960 --> 00:42:04.420
them where they are. Like, I know that happens.

00:42:04.619 --> 00:42:07.880
Whereas I guess like your kind of, and parents

00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:09.840
kind of think about schools, don't they? How

00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:12.900
maybe they had the schooling experience. And

00:42:12.900 --> 00:42:16.349
I can totally see why that. scary because we

00:42:16.349 --> 00:42:19.250
didn't have Noah's in our reception classes did

00:42:19.250 --> 00:42:23.610
we at school exactly yeah so I think for for

00:42:23.610 --> 00:42:26.429
me I think I would feel more I mean definitely

00:42:26.429 --> 00:42:28.750
I'm anxious about it but I would feel more anxious

00:42:28.750 --> 00:42:32.630
if I didn't have a really good kind of knowledge

00:42:32.630 --> 00:42:35.550
of what primary school is like now or at least

00:42:35.550 --> 00:42:38.230
where I where Noah will be going and like you

00:42:38.230 --> 00:42:41.210
say just trying to take like one thing at a time

00:42:41.210 --> 00:42:44.980
and actually give yourself grace And going back

00:42:44.980 --> 00:42:47.179
to what you said right at the start, there are

00:42:47.179 --> 00:42:50.420
so many children with differences now and actually

00:42:50.420 --> 00:42:53.199
kind of neurodiversity is everywhere, isn't it?

00:42:53.219 --> 00:42:57.679
And actually that can be celebrated. Yeah, I

00:42:57.679 --> 00:42:59.519
feel like primary schools are better for having

00:42:59.519 --> 00:43:02.500
knowers in there. yeah so I'm part of specialist

00:43:02.500 --> 00:43:04.639
provision but I'm attached to a mainstream school

00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:06.699
and there's just as much need in the mainstream

00:43:06.699 --> 00:43:08.239
school as in my specialist provision weirdly

00:43:08.239 --> 00:43:10.599
just because yeah there's a need isn't there

00:43:10.599 --> 00:43:13.239
and we're full so they're in the mainstream and

00:43:13.239 --> 00:43:15.860
we are such a better school a more loving school

00:43:15.860 --> 00:43:19.099
a more accepting school because they are there

00:43:19.099 --> 00:43:22.280
and the children are just wonderful and the adults

00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:24.900
are wonderful really celebrate everything and

00:43:24.900 --> 00:43:28.519
it means that the children that are neurodivergent

00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:31.719
but can cope in mainstream academically and socially

00:43:31.719 --> 00:43:34.900
and all of those things, are also accepted and

00:43:34.900 --> 00:43:37.900
celebrated and have reasonable adjustments and

00:43:37.900 --> 00:43:40.500
their needs met. It's just all better because

00:43:40.500 --> 00:43:43.840
of the knowers in the world that are seen. 100%.

00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:45.880
And I think the children are more accepting as

00:43:45.880 --> 00:43:50.139
well nowadays. Like mine is 8, 9 and they just

00:43:50.139 --> 00:43:54.199
get it. They just don't even think about it.

00:43:54.239 --> 00:43:56.199
Whereas I went to school and it was like, if

00:43:56.199 --> 00:43:58.380
you didn't have your tie on right or you had...

00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:01.239
like something anything different anything different

00:44:01.239 --> 00:44:03.360
whereas nowadays like the difference is celebrated

00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:06.519
yeah yeah or even yeah sometimes not even questioned

00:44:06.519 --> 00:44:09.719
like yeah it's really interesting children are

00:44:09.719 --> 00:44:11.719
incredible and I do think we should be led by

00:44:11.719 --> 00:44:13.699
them yeah in reception class they're just like

00:44:13.699 --> 00:44:15.400
oh that's just what he does I'm like yeah you're

00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:17.980
so right like I wish other adults would yeah

00:44:17.980 --> 00:44:20.719
have that 100 % and even at nursery like they're

00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:23.219
great and like they kind of have always worked

00:44:23.219 --> 00:44:25.619
with us to like talk about like, what we're comfortable

00:44:25.619 --> 00:44:27.159
with and what we're not. And, like, they will

00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:29.380
explain to the other children, like, when Noah's...

00:44:29.380 --> 00:44:31.599
Because Noah's always kind of eating on the go.

00:44:31.699 --> 00:44:33.860
He won't sit down. So, like, they explain to

00:44:33.860 --> 00:44:36.039
Noah and the other children that, oh, Noah's

00:44:36.039 --> 00:44:37.840
brain works a bit differently to yours and that's

00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:39.800
what Noah needs to feel happy and that's what

00:44:39.800 --> 00:44:41.659
Noah needs to do so that... So, actually, just

00:44:41.659 --> 00:44:44.360
having those conversations at, like, an age...

00:44:44.650 --> 00:44:47.429
I do think happens all the time, doesn't it?

00:44:47.449 --> 00:44:48.869
And there are also children that will grow up

00:44:48.869 --> 00:44:51.409
into being the adults that are in his community

00:44:51.409 --> 00:44:54.449
when he's an adult. So what kind of world do

00:44:54.449 --> 00:44:56.929
we want and community do we want around Noah

00:44:56.929 --> 00:44:59.070
when he's an adult? Well, we want a really loving,

00:44:59.170 --> 00:45:02.409
accepting, supportive, understanding community.

00:45:02.510 --> 00:45:04.610
And that starts now, doesn't it? Those children

00:45:04.610 --> 00:45:07.750
in his class will be in your local community.

00:45:08.130 --> 00:45:09.889
When you drop off and there's some of the other

00:45:09.889 --> 00:45:12.170
children. And they kind of, like, run up to him

00:45:12.170 --> 00:45:15.630
and he hugs them, which is not normal. It's amazing.

00:45:15.949 --> 00:45:18.269
It is, and it's just... And, like, even the other

00:45:18.269 --> 00:45:20.429
parents, like, they pick up the other kids and

00:45:20.429 --> 00:45:23.889
Noah runs up and hugs them, doesn't he? No, but

00:45:23.889 --> 00:45:25.650
I'm more meant that the children are so accepting.

00:45:25.670 --> 00:45:28.329
Yeah, yeah. You can see that generally means

00:45:28.329 --> 00:45:31.349
a lot to Noah as well and to them. Yeah. And

00:45:31.349 --> 00:45:32.909
then the teachers say that they've been playing

00:45:32.909 --> 00:45:35.409
together all afternoon and forever else, which

00:45:35.409 --> 00:45:39.300
is not normal. No, and that's lovely that that's

00:45:39.300 --> 00:45:42.860
already starting. That's really encouraging,

00:45:43.079 --> 00:45:46.320
isn't it? Yeah, 100%. Like, when, yeah, like,

00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:50.139
he kind of likes interacting with adults, but

00:45:50.139 --> 00:45:52.679
we didn't ever see before, like, the interacting

00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:54.840
with children, did we? And then, like, just to

00:45:54.840 --> 00:45:56.380
see him, like, running around with the other

00:45:56.380 --> 00:46:00.199
children at nursery. Like Stuart said, like,

00:46:00.260 --> 00:46:01.860
a drop -off, like, some of the other children,

00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:04.630
there's two, like... who love him loads and like

00:46:04.630 --> 00:46:06.449
they come up to him and give him a hug and you

00:46:06.449 --> 00:46:09.849
just think oh my heart and it's just those little

00:46:09.849 --> 00:46:12.869
things I think that that mean the world that

00:46:12.869 --> 00:46:15.130
you might normally kind of take for granted but

00:46:15.130 --> 00:46:18.449
actually like that is massive yeah and I think

00:46:18.449 --> 00:46:20.809
that will kind of stand him in good stead for

00:46:20.809 --> 00:46:23.170
primary as well and and I think although like

00:46:23.170 --> 00:46:25.860
don't get me wrong I'm so kind of worried about

00:46:25.860 --> 00:46:28.360
so many aspects of that transition and that change.

00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:31.239
I also am excited for it because I think it could

00:46:31.239 --> 00:46:34.019
really support him to kind of flourish. So, yeah,

00:46:34.099 --> 00:46:36.880
I think it will. And also, like, it will, in

00:46:36.880 --> 00:46:38.820
some ways, although it will be hard for us on

00:46:38.820 --> 00:46:43.039
childcare, it also is a nice routine of kind

00:46:43.039 --> 00:46:45.820
of what happens Monday to Friday. And actually,

00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:47.440
if Monday to Friday doesn't work, we'll look

00:46:47.440 --> 00:46:49.579
at a part -time timetable. I think he will get

00:46:49.579 --> 00:46:52.099
used to it because he does eventually get used

00:46:52.099 --> 00:46:55.610
to kind of routine and that transition. Yeah,

00:46:55.630 --> 00:46:58.090
I mean, and transitions will always be challenging,

00:46:58.329 --> 00:47:00.670
won't they? And as long as you've got the support

00:47:00.670 --> 00:47:02.789
of the school, which sounds like you have, and

00:47:02.789 --> 00:47:06.530
support of each other, anything you face, you'll

00:47:06.530 --> 00:47:09.550
work together to come up with solutions. You

00:47:09.550 --> 00:47:11.849
could have the best plan in the world, and there'll

00:47:11.849 --> 00:47:15.070
always be something. Yeah, I think sort of giving

00:47:15.070 --> 00:47:17.429
yourself... not praise because you don't want

00:47:17.429 --> 00:47:19.510
to be self -praising high -fiving and all that

00:47:19.510 --> 00:47:22.329
but just going it is all right and you are doing

00:47:22.329 --> 00:47:24.750
an all right job is yeah important i think you're

00:47:24.750 --> 00:47:26.690
always like we're always questioning like you

00:47:26.690 --> 00:47:29.110
always could do more couldn't you yeah and like

00:47:29.110 --> 00:47:31.409
we say because like he's got the the kind of

00:47:31.409 --> 00:47:34.610
communication needs he's got the aphid he's got

00:47:34.610 --> 00:47:36.949
the sensory differences they're there's so much

00:47:36.949 --> 00:47:39.769
going on and it's like okay right we're like

00:47:39.769 --> 00:47:41.909
right we need to really model his AAC device

00:47:41.909 --> 00:47:44.030
and like we're really like trying to put time

00:47:44.030 --> 00:47:46.170
into that and then it's like oh god like he hasn't

00:47:46.170 --> 00:47:48.550
eaten anything in however many hours he's getting

00:47:48.550 --> 00:47:51.010
dysregulated like and then it's trying to kind

00:47:51.010 --> 00:47:53.269
of spin all the plates really I can relate to

00:47:53.269 --> 00:47:55.210
that as a teacher actually that we're like oh

00:47:55.210 --> 00:47:57.130
we haven't done any learning today and they're

00:47:57.130 --> 00:48:00.849
like they're fed they're safe yeah they're regulated

00:48:00.849 --> 00:48:03.889
we've done enough and it's it is accepting that

00:48:03.889 --> 00:48:06.369
isn't it of like actually today we met their

00:48:06.369 --> 00:48:09.070
basic needs yeah you know and they went home

00:48:09.070 --> 00:48:15.309
clean well yeah clean enough content enough regulated

00:48:15.309 --> 00:48:18.449
you know what actually we did a good job today

00:48:18.449 --> 00:48:21.070
it is just like sitting with that isn't it and

00:48:21.070 --> 00:48:24.829
it's yeah no it's just just be having a positive

00:48:24.829 --> 00:48:27.639
outlook rather than getting wrapped up in the

00:48:27.639 --> 00:48:29.900
negative speech oh that's a wonderful place to

00:48:29.900 --> 00:48:31.920
finish our conversation I'm so pleased that you

00:48:31.920 --> 00:48:33.280
guys are here I think this is a really important

00:48:33.280 --> 00:48:36.340
conversation for lots of parents actually but

00:48:36.340 --> 00:48:38.460
especially parents that have children and they're

00:48:38.460 --> 00:48:40.860
still coming to terms with everything and just

00:48:40.860 --> 00:48:42.940
and being I think it's really important to have

00:48:42.940 --> 00:48:45.219
the conversation of it's okay to still be coming

00:48:45.219 --> 00:48:48.199
to terms with everything yeah which is really

00:48:48.199 --> 00:48:51.000
wonderful. Where can people find you guys? So

00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:54.679
our Instagram is journey2autism with the number

00:48:54.679 --> 00:48:57.059
two. And yeah, there's loads of stuff on there.

00:48:57.139 --> 00:49:00.599
Always feel free to message us. I love connecting

00:49:00.599 --> 00:49:02.980
with kind of other families and kind of sharing

00:49:02.980 --> 00:49:05.360
what we've learned throughout the process, but

00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:08.260
also giving me some top tips of what to do for

00:49:08.260 --> 00:49:10.329
like... For transitioning to school, for example,

00:49:10.429 --> 00:49:14.550
or for ARFID. But yeah, journey to autism. Amazing.

00:49:14.590 --> 00:49:16.670
And you guys and anyone listening as well, if

00:49:16.670 --> 00:49:19.630
you need any support about transitions, I've

00:49:19.630 --> 00:49:23.909
got so many tools and stuff on my drive and available

00:49:23.909 --> 00:49:26.190
that I use all the time, visuals, everything.

00:49:26.349 --> 00:49:28.989
So if you have a question or you need a resource,

00:49:29.130 --> 00:49:31.670
I've probably got it. So please just reach out.

00:49:32.510 --> 00:49:35.070
Definitely. You're amazing. Thank you, guys.

00:49:35.150 --> 00:49:36.869
Thank you so much. And have a good rest of your

00:49:36.869 --> 00:49:38.710
day. Thanks so much. Bye.