Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education
teacher from the UK. I share my passion for everything
communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson
ideas for my classroom of disabled pupils aged
4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in
the field answering your questions and sharing
our knowledge and experience working alongside
our beautiful young people. Let's get started.
Hello everybody and welcome back to the Sensory
Classroom podcast. Today I'm joined by Natalia,
speech esteem on social media. Hello Natalia.
Hello. So you're a speech and language therapist
based in London, is that right? That's right,
yes. And you work with autistic children, working
with AEAC, guest -op language processing, minimally
speaking children, non -speaking, that kind of
thing? All of that. And sometimes I also work
with children who have developmental language
disorder, children who are selectively mute.
And yes, like you said, predominantly autistic
children who are non -speaking, but also autistic
children who are verbal and speak. Is select
mutism sometimes linked with autism? Only because
in my experience it has been. Yeah, it can be
for sure. Yeah, there is really... quite a big
link between selective mutism and autism. But
also selective mutism is linked very strongly
to social anxiety as well. And sometimes there
is a really beneficial link between speech therapists
and psychologists. And it can make a huge impact
on a child's life when that kind of little MDT
is formed around a child who's selectively mute.
I've seen that, actually. I've seen that with
my very anxious learners. They build a really
strong bond with the speech and language therapists
more than anyone else. And I feel like however
much we try to build that connection, I feel
like speech and language therapists are so great
and trained at building connections, listening.
hearing what's being said or communicated and
really boosting that their self -esteem and building
that strong relationship that way is it's a really
wonderful thing to witness as a teacher is these
really strong bonds with therapists that visit
my room with some students that on the outset
seem quite hard to reach but speech therapists
seem to do it. You said it so beautifully and
I think It's nice to hear because sometimes when
I'm in the classroom, I do work on that connection
and the relationship, but I don't realise that
other people are watching. So that's so nice
to hear. I suppose if you're not based in a school,
it's hard to see what they're like without you
there. Yeah, yeah. I remember with a pupil, I
think I worked with them about 10 years ago,
but it just springs to mind. was very hesitant
to be in the classroom. It was beautiful, beautiful.
But she found the classroom really, really overwhelming
and found transitions very difficult. A very
anxious desktop language processor. I know now,
but I didn't know that then. I knew he was autistic.
Gorgeous boy. And the only time I saw his eyes
light up, like physically and emotionally just
lit up. was when he was doing and working with
the speech and language therapist. And it showed
me that it was possible that we could make him
feel comfortable in the space and that he would
come into the space and he would engage and join.
And we could see what he was capable of because
he built such a trusting connection. And ultimately
it came down to she'd never let him down. She'd
never broken a promise. She'd never falsely said
anything or pushed him to do anything that he...
wasn't comfortable to do. And she listened to
him and was his advocate and his voice. And ultimately,
it was just so beautiful. And it taught everyone
else to step up, basically, and to do it differently,
to do it in a neuro firming way, which 10 years
ago, I didn't have that language. I didn't know
that I was still very much learning. but yeah
speech and language therapists are angels because
of that I love working I've learned so much from
working with speech and language therapists I
love how you put it and I feel like it's so important
to create that safe relationship like emotionally
safe connection with a child before you get any
communication out of them and before you even
try to tap into communication opportunities with
them because if you don't really have that connection
if the child doesn't feel emotionally safe with
you, it's unlikely they'll feel comfortable sharing
who they truly are. So that's such a big thing.
Sounds like an amazing speech therapist that
you're working with. Yeah, I mean, they are all
amazing. Every speech and language therapist
I've worked with has been fabulous. I've learned
so much from them. So how would you build that
connection then? What would that look like in
practice? You've met a child. For the first time,
do you often work in schools or do you work in
a clinic? So I worked in clinics, but now predominantly
I work in schools, but I also visit families
and I visit children at home. So I'm kind of
dipping my toes into all settings. That's wonderful.
You get a good mixture. Imagine you're seeing
a child for the first time. How do you establish
that initial connection? What kind of things
are you doing, saying, thinking about? in order
to start that positively? Yeah, the really first
thing that might be a little bit surprising is
that I don't say anything at first, at least
the first 10 to 15 minutes of interaction with
a child. Because I just want to see who they
are, what they are interested in. You know, are
they interested in me or not really? So really
kind of realizing that silence is okay at first.
And there is no pressure really to talk or really
to communicate. with me at first. And it might
look a little bit weird. It's like, you know,
we're expecting the speech therapist to come
in and really get started. And I'm there just
like joining in their play very gently or just
being on the periphery. And I found that oftentimes
it works the best when I'm this person who doesn't
come in with an agenda, a person who comes in
with genuine interest in whatever they're doing
already and not trying to take their attention
away from that thing. And I find this first step
is the best one. And it really helps me to start
creating that connection. It's not the sole thing
that makes us feel connected, but it's kind of
like opening the door a little bit and not kicking
them out. Yeah, and scaring them off with demands
that maybe they can't. achieve maybe exactly
yeah and I find that so important and I learned
that through a couple of years of practicing
because at first I was really excited and really
the speech therapist who came in like what are
you doing and wow can I do that as well but soon
i realized that's actually scaring the children
my enthusiasm so i learned over the years that
actually silence is best at first so that the
child feels that they are safe this person this
stranger really realizing about myself that actually
i'm a stranger to them at first and becoming
that safe adult in the space that over time they
will start trusting because they will realize
like you said before that um all of the things
that i'm doing are consistent and are not really
threatening their inner emotional safety so that's
kind of the first thing that i really think about
and really kind of accepting their presence and
their interest And following that. And I find
that they teach me so much more than I would
ever teach them through that strategy. I loved
it when you said genuine interest. And I think
it's really easy to seem interested in it. A
car rolling, the wheels turning, you know. But
to have genuine interest in it and see what it's
a joy that they are getting out of that. makes
such a difference they can feel it you can feel
it that is what connection is isn't it it's not
falsehood it's genuine interest in it whether
it's interested in ocean animals or interested
in spinning or interested in i've got a child
in my class that's fingers and we're really interested
what is it is it the fingers moving is it you
know the physicality of it is it that they're
seeing colors through the fingers is it counting
is it songs in his head you're really interested
so that we can also be genuinely interested and
drawing his joy in that. I feel like being genuine
is the biggest part of being affirming and building
that connection, isn't it? I agree. And I love
how you said that. It's all that goes in my mind.
Exactly that. Like, why? Why is it interesting?
And can I be interested in that in a genuine
way? And really investigating a little bit, being
a little detective as well in the background
whilst being silent and observing. yeah so you
physically you are silent and probably quite
still initially um to not scare them off but
your head's probably working tenfold trying to
work it all out it's so true and i love how you
mentioned that you know staying a bit still because
I don't try to move my body too abruptly in the
beginning just to see what their sensory regulation
is like and really not to scare them off as well,
but also not to trigger any past traumas or anything
like that. And I think that's also a big part
of making them feel safe because a lot of the
time for children, we are these big humans with
big bodies and they are so tiny. And it can feel
so condescending almost that we are so big and
so above them. So really sitting down on the
floor, a bit further away from them, being at
eye level or below, never above. So those are
the little things that over time I kind of gotten
used to doing. But I don't realize that there
are little steps towards the connection. So it
made me realize right now. I think that's helpful
for people to hear, though. We've got mainstream
teachers, new teachers, parents, siblings listening
to this podcast. I think this is the advice that
people really need to hear is those, yeah, things
that maybe you do naturally that you've learned
over years to make yourself small, to be quite
submissive in a way so that they can lead and
feel in control of. the interaction i think is
fantastic advice because we could have the best
resources the best toys the best you know all
of these strategies but if they're feeling out
of control or scared and not safe as you said
nothing's gonna sit right it's not gonna feel
neuroaffirming is it even if you're saying the
right things and using the right strategies if
you're towering over them or even if you've got
your arms crossed or you know you're very you're
very aware physically actually I feel when you're
in these and especially the initial stages but
actually in all interactions I feel very physically
aware I used to be a dancer And I do wonder if
that helps, actually. I've just realised that
now. Because you're extra aware of where your
body is in space and what your hands are doing
and what your posture is. And I feel like it's
almost like a dance, isn't it? Especially if
we're talking about that initial interaction,
that kind of intensive interaction way. It kind
of is a to and fro conversation physically, isn't
it? And if we're wanting them to feel in control
and safe, well, then we need to be the smaller,
quieter, stiller ones following their lead, don't
we? Yeah, absolutely. And oftentimes I feel like
when I'm like very still and calm person in their
presence, they start to be curious and they start
to like looking into my direction, be like, who's
this person? Why aren't they there? And there
we go. That's communication. And it just opens
up without me doing anything. So it's just so
magical to be a calm person and like near a small
child. You might be the first adult that they've
ever had enter their space and not put a demand
on them ever. That's going to set you up for
intrigue at minimum, isn't it? It's definitely
going to help. It's not going to hinder that
connection building process. Do you often have
other adults in the room with you, like other
teachers or parents? yeah i was just about to
say that i'm almost never alone with a child
so there is always this in the back of my mind
it's not just about what i do where i'm at in
the room but it's a lot about the environment
as well and how safe is the environment in terms
of sensory stimuli in terms of you know are we
all emotionally regulated in the space are there
other children there and are they emotionally
regulated what are their sensory needs it's a
huge dynamic process of trying to figure it all
out try and manage that or are you just managing
yourself Do you try and move things out of the
way? Do you try and turn off the lights? Do you
try and hush adults down? How actively are you
managing everybody else in the space? I know
you're not trying to control the child you're
working with, but is there some scope to control
everything else? Or are you just focusing on
yourself and you just being the safe space? I
think it depends on the type of team that I'm
working with. But most of the time, yes, there
are discussions around what does an environment
that's communication friendly look like and what
can we do to make it a safe space at all times,
not just when, you know. I try to create a new
connection with the child. So definitely there
is a lot of conversations happening. I wouldn't
say that they are happening at the moment when
I'm doing a session with the child, but they
are happening before and after, whether that's
through informal chats or through training or
through some modeling and coaching. There is
always the ongoing discussion about how an environment
that's affirming looks like. And through those
discussions that are ongoing, it then... And
makes whatever sessions start in the classroom
much easier and more easier, really, to be said.
Yeah, I suppose because you all have the same
expectation, don't you? They might be panicking,
but nothing's happening, maybe. And actually,
you're quite happy. So I suppose to come in with
all the same expectation is helpful for everyone
to know what success looks like is helpful. Absolutely.
So these conversations definitely happen. they
do but i'm not not in that session so when i'm
actually this quiet person that just entering
gently entering a child's space i wouldn't necessarily
start talking to an adult near me because i'd
hope that we had the chance to have that discussion
beforehand but if not we can talk about it later
you know there's no problem in that or if the
adult feels motivated to join you know i would
let them to join um and maybe gently guide them
but um not necessarily have a discussion with
them about what we are doing yeah so if there's
lots of supporting adults listening to this so
what are some things that they could be doing
to enable a safe space for when a child is working
with a therapist or a teacher maybe maybe they're
not the lead adult we've heard about what that
can look like what about the supporting adults
in the room what could they be doing to better
enable this safe space that you're creating yeah
so we do something called a learning walk together
um oftentimes and it kind of goes through a lot
of interesting concepts about how a classroom
and supporting adults should really look like
and how it looks like. And I think the main thing
is about their understanding of how to connect
with a child in terms of, you know, understanding
what I'm doing and then if they want to join.
joining in with the same strategies and if they
don't have the capacity to join promoting the
calmer space around in the classroom so for example
if there is a dysregulated child you know responding
to that and oops responding to that and you know
being with that dysregulated child so that the
child that I'm trying to work with doesn't get
dysregulated if they're maybe sensitive to loud
noises really I think the key is being emotionally
available um and really just noticing how children
feel across the day and monitoring it and responding
to it and i think that's the biggest help really
yeah that's so true and i feel like that is a
big part of our job in school and parents as
well is constantly you say oh i'm exhausted from
today i thought we haven't actually done anything
but what you're doing is constantly measuring
emotional regulation and constantly risk assessment
risk assessing and even if nothing awful is happening
everything's safe you're always thinking of every
eventuality but this could happen and then this
and this and this and this and this if that door
opens then this might happen and then i'll do
this so you've done your day a hundred times
over in in every eventuality constantly to try
and keep this safe and calm environment and i
feel like it's a big part of being available
and working with these sensory learners, I suppose,
is that trying to keep that regulation and calm
throughout the day means that we are trying to
read every situation. Yeah, what worked really
well previously was splitting the classroom into
zones, like a calming zone or interaction zone,
exciting zone, movement zone, emotion zone, regulation
zone. And each zone has like different sensory
tools available. In each zone, there is an adult
always present in that area. And over time, you
start realizing... um that you're learning a
lot about the profiles of the children in the
classroom because for example maybe the active
zone might be flooded with children and the calming
zone is not because everybody is a sensory seeker
and that tells you a lot about your classroom
and it also tells you a lot about what kind of
strategies we can start working on next yeah
And what motivates them? We could use that, couldn't
we, as a way in to build connection. If they're
seeking, jumping, running, wrestling, climbing,
all of those kind of things, great, let's get
them outside. Let's do some of that together.
If they're seeking calming, they're liking ear
defenders, weighted blankets and being swaddled
maybe, then maybe we can facilitate that. That's
also a great start to building that connection,
isn't it? Yeah, I love that. And, you know, I
think a lot about special interests as well.
And like having little dips of special interests
across the classroom and teaching assistants,
I feel like they often know more than I do about
the special interests of the children in the
classroom because, you know, they work with them
every single day. They're such a good source
of information for this. And they then know,
oh, yes, this person, this child likes this.
So putting it in the space and actually having
it available, because if they gravitate towards
that, you can create communication opportunities
through. that type of interaction so that's also
a really good thing to do yeah so it's a great
way of utilizing the team around the child really
isn't it whether it's a parent or a sporting
adult it's asking them ahead of time like you
said when we're giving the training also asking
them about their expertise ultimately they're
the expert in the child aren't they they're the
ones that spend the most time with them day day
in day out so they know you know what what is
their what does heaven look like for them what
is their ideal scenario what is their nightmare
what are their true triggers yeah what are their
special interests what could i bring and it would
be irresistible to them they're all the kind
of questions that i would be wanting to know
because otherwise we could work it out ourselves
but it might take us you know three four five
weeks to establish that Whereas actually, if
we know, we can kind of skip a few steps, can't
we? A building connection. Exactly, 100%. I feel
like special interests are such a beautiful way
to connect with a child, really. And it kind
of loops back to the genuine interest. Because
if you really show interest in their special
interests, whether it's a non -speaking child
or a speaking child that communicates. through
different means when you connect with them around
their special interests and actually you know
the next time you come into school you start
talking to them about it or you bring something
that is of their interest you are nourishing
that relationship in a genuine way So I really
like to learn about special interests of children
I work with. Yeah, I think it's one of the best
bits of the job. I've learned so much about Minecraft
and animals and trains. You've become an expert.
You've become an expert. And what a fantastic
opportunity, you know. How lucky are we to be
able to spend our days with experts in all these
really interesting things, you know, once you
get down to it. it is interesting they are all
interesting things and also things like fans
or hoovers or you know whatever it is it can
be or shiny material or dropping things and making
people laugh whatever it is throwing things whatever
it is that is their thing it's gonna be there
is something fun about it otherwise they wouldn't
like it either so it's us just finding the joy
in what they're finding the joy in isn't it and
you know oftentimes it doesn't just have to be
you know looking at something or doing something
of their special interest but it can also be
incorporating it into the curriculum and we don't
need to do you know numbers we can do play -doh
shapes in you know like numbers or we can just
literally incorporate it into the curriculum
and it doesn't have to be learning and then a
special interest the special interest can actually
be central of whatever we're trying to teach
or whatever we're trying to do at home. Yeah,
I think that's imperative, actually. I think
it's, I mean, gosh, it is such a luxury of special
education, isn't it? And that therapy practice
that we have the capacity to do that. We don't
have 34 children in a class and one adult, you
know. we can facilitate that really bespoke and
individualized sessions and sometimes some of
the best sessions aren't planned for so yes you
can plan for a session about around their special
interests but sometimes things just happen and
it's just us being open to that opportunity of
Yeah, sometimes not forcing learning in there,
but sometimes it just happens. And it's us grabbing
those opportunities, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah.
It's not just grabbing them, but also actually
realizing and noticing that they're there. Because
I'm definitely, you know, guilty of this. Like
when I started working, I just didn't notice
children were communicating with me and they
were trying to. tell me something like just for
example I would bring bubbles and I would expect
you know them to try to grab the bubbles or say
they want more but actually them just glancing
at me or maybe moving a bit closer and then leaving
really still communication realizing those subtle
things that yes that is them trying to connect
in their own way yeah and also if they move away
or if they say no or push them away it's that's
also communication that rejection that protest
and rejection exactly it's something that I've
only recently realized is really exciting that's
still a connection that is still them coming
to you and feeling safe enough to protest and
and reject that that's it yeah yeah exactly what
you said feeling safe to say no Natalia I'm not
interested in you today goodbye Yeah. And that's
amazing. Like, yes, our session ended because
I'm going to respect their no and their boundaries
and try to plant a seed about consent. But, you
know, even though the session ended early, it's
still a win for me because they said no. And
that's huge. That is confidence. Yeah. And you
respecting that and honoring that no is only
going to help develop that relationship and that
trust even stronger. Whereas if you ignore that
and push through that, you're kind of losing.
and breaking that trust in a way, aren't you?
You've probably worked weeks to build. Yeah,
yeah. And oftentimes the first few sessions might
be, you know, rejections because they don't know
me and that's okay. But if I'm, like you said,
you know, honoring that no multiple times in
a row, the next time I show up, they might be
like... all right, well, if I say no, this person
will leave. So why don't I just try a little
bit to see what they'll do if I drop this thing
on the floor, right? And it's that feeling safe
and starting to explore a bit more. So where
do you find the boundaries in that? Because we
can't allow everything. It would be, well, one,
they like to know where the boundary is. That
feels safe. Boundaries are safe. Structure is
safe. Rules are safe. They keep us. We like to...
predict them we like to know where we stand with
all of that so how do you navigate that how can
you make sure that the children are safe and
they have clear boundaries in their predictable
routine whilst also being neuroaffirming and
being led by them how do you navigate that yeah
so I think it really again starts with the team
in terms of everybody being on the same page
and agreeing what is the boundary Because inconsistent
messages can sometimes be really tricky to navigate,
especially for autistic children that are not
yet speaking or non -speaking. or autistic children
that communicate in different ways and prefer
and consistency. So really being on the same
page is the first step. So having a good conversation
going on in the team about what the boundary
is in each situation. So what is the boundary
about if a child is throwing something onto another
child or a person? What is the boundary about
trying to go out of the classroom? When is it
okay and when is it not okay? And things like
that. that is very very clear then for me it's
very easy and also for the teaching assistants
and class teachers and all the other staff present
it's quite easy to then follow up on those boundaries
because we all know in the space that that is
our boundary and the children over time learn
it as well so you know obviously if it's throwing
something at another child Depending on their
communication level, we would communicate that
boundary, whether it's with a visual, whether
it's with verbal words, whether it's with, you
know, talking to them through a story and just
talking about safety in general, if they're able
to talk about that and just, you know, benchmarking
it, where are they at? What are they going to
be able to kind of process? And really starting
from that point and being consistent within force.
the boundaries because sometimes it might be
hard if it's a busy classroom but trying your
best it's never gonna be perfect but trying your
best to really stick without that boundary and
I think the same really applies to home environment
and you can use a lot of strategies such like
I said you know visual stories YouTube videos
all of those type of things you can go into depth
around boundaries so it's not just about the
adults knowing it but it's also about the children
and really scaffolding towards their understanding
of communicating the boundaries. To make it appropriate
for wherever they're at. If they're working developmentally
at six months, it's going to look very different
than if they're working developmentally at six
or seven age stage, isn't it? Yes, yeah. So for
an example, if, you know, developmentally they're
operating at a six -month level and they throw
something at a child or at me, I would really
just say single words or something very simple
like, uh -oh, out. and try to, you know, redirect
at that stage. Yeah, and then if they were age
six or seven, maybe you do a social story or
a visual prompt or a verbal prompt or get them
to go and pick it up and say sorry even, you
know, like those kind of things, depending on
where the child is at. It has to be appropriate
for them. So when we're talking about consistency,
it's consistency across the adults. It's not
consistency across all children. I think that's
the difference, isn't it? That's the difference
between equity and equality. Equality in the
classroom would treat everybody the same. So
nobody can throw in the classroom. Well, that
doesn't work in a classroom like mine because
I have students that are working at zero months
that their learning is actually to throw and
drop an item. Like that is their math is to learn
to release. So it would be really wrong of me
to have that consistent boundary across all children.
Whereas I have children that understand they
can't throw in the classroom. Because of their
sensory needs, they do. But they know where they
should be throwing outside or in the sensory
room or whatever. And they know what they should
be throwing. So it's very different across my
learners. I'm consistent with each child individually
with my adults. Well, I try to be, obviously.
We try to be. But what we don't mean is that
we're... consistent classroom. We don't have
the same expectations for all children necessarily,
unless your children are randomly just all the
same, which I don't think I've ever, I've worked
with these classes for about 16 years now. And
I have never had a class with all of the children
with the same sensory profile, the same needs,
same understanding, same receptive, same expressive.
It just doesn't work like that. That's the beauty
of it really, isn't it? Working with these lovely
children is the beauty of that. And I think you
raise a really interesting point that is, yes,
the consistencies around the boundary agreement
within the team, but not necessarily across children.
And I've worked with a couple of throwers before.
And sometimes what works well is also giving
them a... safe object to throw right um and really
honoring that fun that they're having but teaching
them how to throw safely because there's nothing
wrong with throwing it's just that the consequence
of it if it's an object that can be unsafe can
be you know yeah yeah exactly and I suppose it's
also asking the question is this the biggest
thing to tackle right now as well so it's being
consistent but if they are also incredibly dysregulated
because it's photo day and it's raining and they've
just been dropped off so they've had a tricky
transition and they haven't slept the night before
they're feeling poorly and it's non -uniform
day I mean these things happen I'm not going
to bring up Also the throwing. I'm going to ignore
the throwing on this day and I'm going to manage
the rest of the thing. So yes, it's being consistent,
but it's being flexible in that structure of
consistency. And that's where it gets tricky,
isn't it? That's where years of experience come
into play, where it's kind of a gut feeling.
Yes, we know we shouldn't throw. Yes, this child
knows we shouldn't throw. Yes, we know the rules.
However, in this situation, it is the least of
our worries. This is a minimal behavior in this
situation. situation we're going to tackle the
big thing in the room which is that they feel
unsafe and triggered because of this transition
if I tell them off and go through all the steps
that we normally do for throwing it's going to
make it worse it's going to make him more unsafe
more dysregulated it's going to upset the room
even more in fact it's going to throw even more
and going to be even more unsafe so what are
we actually doing this for are we doing this
to control him and make him compliant to the
rules or are we doing it to support him in this
moment exactly so that's a good question to ask
yourself yes it might look inconsistent and often
i get my staff saying oh i thought we were gonna
do yes we were yes we are but in this moment
this child needs to know we are safe and we are
understanding him and we are for him that he
won't even remember that he's just thrown that
he is in a complete fog of dysregulation reasoning
with him we can't reason with him right now this
isn't the moment this isn't the time so It is
having that concrete structure. It is having
those consistent boundaries that everybody knows.
But once they ask it and once everybody does
know it, it's having that then flexibility. And
I think that's what makes it neuroaffirming.
That's the difference, isn't it? Yes, it's that
flexibility. That ability to be flexible and
to just be constantly asking yourself as a bit
of a mantra, what would be the most supportive
thing for this child in this moment right now?
Sometimes it is to keep to the boundary. And
the structure, because that's almost what they're
asking us to do. They want to know that that
is the boundary and they feel safe and secure
in that. Other times, like I've just described,
it isn't. And actually that isn't helpful in
that moment. And I know that can be really, really
confusing. And you have just got to feel it.
And it's different for every child in every moment.
But that's how I navigate it, is I just ask myself,
what is the... What is the child needing the
most right now? What is the child's backstory?
Yeah. What are the roots of the day? You know,
a bit like an iceberg analogy. You know, we just
see the iceberg. We just see the throwing and
the dysregulation. But all that ice is under
the water, all that stuff of illness and dysregulation.
Maybe mum was a bit moany this morning and maybe
they didn't have their breakfast and maybe they
didn't, you know, all those things that they're
coming in with. That's the real thing that we
need to tackle right now. It isn't actually the
throwing. The throwing is just an aftermath of
the actual real. thing that's going on yes sometimes
it is absolutely and I think that kind of nicely
ties into the social story as well because the
purpose of the social story is not going to be
compliance with the rules and we're not going
to be using sentences like I will have calm hands
and not throw things it's just going to be about
really self -advocacy and trying to understand
you know you know how I feel when I want to throw
and why I throw and what I can throw and what's
It's not super safe to throw and how to ask for
help with throwing. I love that. Do you know
what? That's something that we don't do very
well. We've just started using social stories
with them. I've used them in the past, but we
just started using social stories at my class.
We've just recently got a pupil that was able
to access those. We haven't had that for a while.
and actually you're right we have gone down the
accidentally down the control and compliance
route we're talking about inside voices we're
talking about safe hands we're talking about
respecting our friends we're talking about being
safe and you're so right actually what is more
helpful to her would be feel like my ears ring
when it is loud i don't know like yeah i can
find an adult where my or i've been going at
my ear defenders when i'm feeling yeah so it's
that That is, I'm going to rewrite them because
that is so crucial and a really great reminder
of being affirming, not only when what we're
doing, but also what we're writing, what we're
giving the children. Our messaging is really
important and that's something we aren't doing
very well, actually. So we can improve that.
So thank you for that. For sure. And I think
also kind of realizing that maybe social stories
can be accessible too. non -speaking children
as well you can make them really simple it can
be simple photos or some you know symbols if
they can access symbols so for example we have
been preparing a child for a transition about
actually a small transition a new classmate and
this child is non -speaking but we've made a
very simple two -page social story about you
know my name is and these are my classmates and
there is a new picture And we are like, that's
it. We're just recognizing that there is a change.
And let's regulate about that change together.
It prepares them. Moving house, I've used them
for. Transitions are really great, actually.
Social stories are fantastic for transitions.
Transitioning of, I don't know, starting periods,
moving house, change in, it's a fire alarm. So,
you know, preparing them for an eventual situation
or event is. really they're really really great
and yeah i've used them with quite you know high
needs minimally speaking children as well and
yeah have had really good success and also it
doesn't hurt even if they can't receive that
information um It is helpful. I've also done
it through sensory stories and play as well.
So we were going to the trampoline park, for
example, and I was really panicked that they
had to wear these stupid sticky socks. Do you
know the ones? And I thought, this is going to
be a huge barrier for us enjoying this trampoline
park. They're going to love the trampoline park,
but if they don't wear the socks, we aren't allowed
to come in. And I was really anxious, actually,
stemming from my anxiety. That this is going
to be a huge barrier for them. So we're going
to practice wearing socks. So what we did is
every day for the week leading up, we practice
wearing our socks. And then we jumped on the
little trampette in my class. So they would learn,
if I want to jump, I have to wear the socks.
So that when we went to the trip and we show
them the socks, they would have seen it. They'd
have felt it. They'd know that we have to put
it on. They know that we have to put it on in
order to bounce. That concept would make sense
to them. Like I said, very high needs children,
some working at six months, and yet it helped
them because they'd already felt the socks. They
weren't brand new. And also we'd worn the socks
in a little bit. They got used to the smell,
the feeling, all of that. That's a social story.
It doesn't have to be written. Yeah, exactly.
I want to say that. Amazing. Because a lot of
times, you know, when we do like, you've mentioned
it before, definitely like sensory stories. You
can do social stories the way you do sensory
stories, exactly what you described. And you
can share a message without like a book. So that's
such a powerful way to really allow them to experience
everything beforehand and decide whether they
like it or not and whether they feel safe in
it or not. And actually, it's a very powerful
example you gave because they were able to. Try
something new in a known environment, in a safe
environment. That's really a powerful strategy
that you're using there. I've got some coming
out next year, actually. This year, all my sensory
stories coming out are all to do with my curriculum.
Next year, they're all to do with social stories.
So we've got bath time, haircuts, dentists, hospital
visits, all of those terrifying things that parents
think, how are we going to get them there? i'm
hoping that yeah through sensory stories they
can have already experienced all of the things
that they're going to feel and hear and smell
and experience too so it's not as much of a shock
when they actually do the thing is my hope so
they're coming next year don't you're gonna nag
me for them now but yeah they're coming next
year because i think it's really important to
have accessible social stories for high needs
people not just children but all people It reminds
me of a conversation I just had recently with
a parent who really wanted to take her child
on a holiday. And she was like... But I'm so
worried about the whole sensory aspect of it.
How is it going to go? You know, so we explored
trying on the headphones and going to the Natural
History Museum, Natural, I'm sorry, the Museum
of Transport to go and sit in a plane because
there is a model plane you can sit in and trying
to touching it from the outside, from the inside.
So really trying to use the environment, whatever
you've got available. to prepare your sensory
system for that in one thing at a time rather
than it all at once yes and when there's a deadline
there's not a deadline if you do it beforehand
we could wait 20 minutes for children to put
on their sticky socks when we were in our safe
environment but when you're yeah when you're
on the holiday there's deadlines there's timelines
you can't have this regulation and freeze mode
for two hours in the airport whilst you're trying
to regulate yourself again because you've got
a plane to catch. That's stressful, isn't it?
So do those things beforehand. So one at a time
and get used to it is, yeah, really wonderful
advice. And actually this podcast is coming out
in June, I believe. So people will be preparing
for and thinking about their upcoming holidays
or even a trip to the beach, a trip to the park,
a trip to now and granddad's new house, whatever
it is that you're planning on doing. maybe have
an experiment with this maybe if it's a written
story or a photo story or even a sensory story
about what is that experience for them what are
the steps that we're going to have to go to from
their safety in the home all the way to achieving
this thing and then back again what does that
look like what does that smell like what does
that feel like to them and then yeah practicing
that and reading that through that i hope that
it would oh it's not gonna hurt but i hope that
it would make it a really positive and more accessible
experience because they feel like they've already
done it. And I think what I want to highlight
here is that we're not trying to achieve sensory
desensitization. We're just trying to achieve
kind of trying out the accommodations that are
available. So, you know, for example, the plane
example, we were trying out the feeling of the
headphones that will block out the sounds because
we know this child was sound sensitive. And then
obviously trying to see how the plane looks like
so that it's. Obviously not a shop for the first
time because that was for them to go for the
first time. But what we weren't doing is that
we were not exposing the child to loud noises
so that they're okay with it on the flight day.
Yeah, that's so important to say. We are preparing
them for what's happening. We're not desensitizing
them because that isn't neuroaffirming, is it?
that pushing through, masking. We're not asking
them to mask their needs. We're just asking them
to, we're just helping them know what is going
to happen so they can be better prepared for
it. I think that is, that's the difference, isn't
it? Yes, that's the difference for sure. Amazing.
On that note, that's going to be my homework.
I'm going to rewrite my social stories. Thank
you for that. That's brilliant. That's amazing
too. I love using these as homework. I often
give myself homework in these podcasts. So that
will be mine for this week. having a think about
my social stories and my messaging to my children
and making sure that's just as affirming as everything
else we do um i think we could do a better job
than that so thank you so much amazing You've
got a new website, haven't you? Do you want to
share about that? Yeah, I've been building my
new website lately and I just finally launched
it. I'm such a huge perfectionist. Honestly,
I need to let go of that. It was great fun building
it. So yeah, it's at www .speechesteem .com.
So if anybody's interested in working with me,
they can have a look to see when I work with
children who are autistic, but also I'm able
to support children who have developmental language.
disorder, language delays, little ones that might
not yet be so confident in using communication
and supporting through emotional regulation as
well. So really excited to see what it brings.
Amazing. And if you're not local to London, then
definitely also check out Natalia's social media
as well, which has got loads of information in
there. And it's at self. at speech esteem isn't
it speech esteem yes speech esteem on social
media thank you so much for joining me it's been
an absolute joy and I personally have gotten
a lot out of it so I hope that everybody listening
has as well thank you so much for having me it
was great fun