1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,840 Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education teacher from the UK. I share my passion for 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:11,040 everything communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson ideas for my classroom of disabled 3 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:17,120 pupils aged 4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in the field answering your questions 4 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:22,800 and sharing our knowledge and experience working alongside our beautiful young people. Let's get started. 5 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Hey everybody, welcome back to another live. Today I'm going to be joined by someone all the way from 6 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:38,880 New York, Shandel, and she is an educational inclusivity talker and consultant and also an 7 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:45,920 author. She's also a mum to all DHD children, so autism and ADHD. Let's get her on. Hello. 8 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:52,400 Hello, how are you? I'm so excited that that just worked so easily. That's exciting. 9 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:58,960 It's good to see you. So, I just did a tiny little introduction. I was explaining that you are an 10 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:08,880 inclusivity educational consultant and a mum of neurodivergent children and an author. Yes. 11 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,200 But you can, I'm sure you can explain much better. So would you like to introduce yourself? 12 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:20,400 Thank you. So my name is Shandel Morris. All of the things that were just mentioned, I have 13 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:29,520 a son who is autistic. He also has ADHD. My daughter has ADHD, possibly dyslexia. I also have ADHD as 14 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:36,000 well. And I just found this out after my children, after we learned what their neuro type was, 15 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:41,280 I started to notice, well, I kind of do some of these things too. And I found out that I also have 16 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:49,440 ADHD. Common, isn't it? But women especially find out that way. Yes, but it's a learning curve for 17 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:56,400 all of us. We're all learning about neurodiversity. We're all learning about differences between 18 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:03,840 genders as well. So I am also an inclusive educational consultant. I go to different schools 19 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:09,120 and I teach teachers, educators, school psychologists, all about neurodiversity, understanding the 20 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:15,360 children that they have in their classroom, understanding autism, how common it is. And we 21 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:22,080 don't really notice. We have, I tell them every single classroom, every classroom in every school 22 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:29,520 has neurodiversity children. And unfortunately, as much as teachers, as we try to help our students 23 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,240 give them the best they can, unfortunately, we don't know as much about neurodiversity as we 24 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:39,840 thought. And there are children in our classroom who are not getting the assistance that they could 25 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:46,080 get to help them to thrive simply because we don't know. And so that's the reason why I go around 26 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:52,160 and I, to different districts and I make sure that I teach everyone. I'm also a college professor. 27 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:57,840 I don't know if I mentioned that to you. I'm a college professor for teacher education. A lot of 28 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,400 my students, my students are going into the education field to be teachers as well. Amazing. 29 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:10,880 Because as far as our teaching qualifications in the UK, we barely covered SEN. Like we barely 30 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:17,040 covered special education. We very barely covered neurodiversity. And I think the facts and figures 31 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:23,840 since I trained are very wrong. Like when I trained, I think officially on the National Autistic 32 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:31,120 Society website in the UK still says one in 100 are autistic. And there is one child at least in 33 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:37,200 every single class of our school. And I'm sure that's not unusual. It has to be more than one in 34 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,200 100. What are your thoughts on New York and what you're feeling? 35 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:48,160 Now it's raised. But different places say different things. Some people say one out of four now. 36 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:53,520 However, when you go into the doctor's office and you're expecting, as a parent, you're expecting 37 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:58,880 the doctors to know more than you. The doctors are right now learning at the same time that we all 38 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:04,160 are learning. Same time the parents, teachers, everyone is learning. And a lot of times parents 39 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,640 go to the doctor and then they feel like my child is doing such and such and such. And they're 40 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,360 realizing the doctor doesn't really know. The doctor can't really help either. 41 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:17,600 So it's so broad, isn't it? Especially if you're going to a general practitioner. 42 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,000 Yeah. 43 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,920 They need to know a little bit about everything. They don't necessarily know about that one thing 44 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,680 again, unless you're like, you're specialized in that area. Exactly. 45 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:33,600 And more is being discovered all of the time. Absolutely. Let me tell you, I went to a doctor, 46 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:38,960 my son was, he was having pain in his joints. And we had just found out that he was a fit. I think 47 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,200 he was only six years old at that time, but he's very insightful. And the doctor looked at his 48 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:49,280 chart and she was a rheumatologist. And she says, this chart says that you're autistic. It doesn't 49 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:54,720 look like you're autistic. Are you autistic? And he was very friendly. And I'm sure many of you guys 50 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:59,200 who are watching right now can be, can definitely understand why he was offended. And then she 51 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:05,040 proceeds to say, count to 10. And so he counted 10 really quickly. And he says, you know, I, 52 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:10,240 I don't understand why this doctor asked me to count to 10. It says that I have to not be 53 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:15,920 intelligent in order to be autistic. And for him to be six years old and to understand that 54 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:21,840 shows me that we all have a lot to learn. Yeah. And a lot to teach us on. It comes down to all of 55 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:26,400 us, doesn't it? Whether you're a professor or whether you're a teacher in a school or whether 56 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:31,920 you're an assistant in a school, we all have a responsibility to educate. So what came first 57 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:38,240 then? You're, you being an ADHD and autism mom, or you being a consultant or you being a professor 58 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:45,040 or you being an author, what, what was the order of things? Okay. Thank you for asking. So my son, 59 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:49,120 this is during the pandemic, we started to realize that since he was born, actually, we started to 60 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,280 realize that he was a little quirky and we didn't really know what made him a little bit different 61 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:57,440 from the rest of the children. But during the pandemic, even though we had been getting him 62 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:02,480 evaluated many times, I think like three times before that, there were so many changes during 63 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:08,000 the pandemic. Hybrid school, you're, you're at school during the half day and then online at 64 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:13,520 the end of the day. And all the changes was just unbearable for my son. And he was having autistic 65 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:18,400 meltdowns in class. This is not really something that we experienced at home. And the school 66 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:25,440 psychologist told us, yeah, I think your son might be autistic. And she was afraid to tell us, but I 67 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:32,640 was actually very happy that someone was able to see what we were seeing. It was, it was very hard 68 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:38,720 because at first, you know, we didn't know how to feel about it. We didn't know if we should be happy, 69 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:44,560 sad. We didn't know, was it something that we did? Did I take too much Tylenol? You know. And then 70 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:49,680 afterwards we started to learn a little bit more. Google did not help us guys. If you want to know 71 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:54,960 about autism, don't go to Google. That's not necessarily, go to people who work with people 72 00:06:54,960 --> 00:07:01,120 who are autistic or with autistic individuals. Google didn't help us. But as we started to learn 73 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:08,000 more and more, I learned the word neurodiversity and that changed my life. It opened my eyes in a 74 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:15,760 way that literally helped me to see the world in a different way. We started to learn more about 75 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:21,520 autism. And then this is the first book that we wrote. And it's called I'm Just a Kid. And in the 76 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:28,320 first two years, it sold over 10,000 copies without any type of ads or any marketing. And we realized 77 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:34,560 that it was a high need book. It's called I'm Just a Kid, a social emotional book about self-regulation. 78 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:41,520 Right now in my children's school district, every single K-3 classroom has it in their class. So, 79 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:46,240 yay. We're hoping to be able to spread that so that other children can be able to read 80 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:52,880 these books and say, hey, you know, it's okay if I do have big emotions. It's okay if, you know, 81 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:59,840 I cry. Here are some things that help me to calm down. And it really brings in that conversation 82 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:05,520 to say, no, you're not a bad kid. No, you're not this. No, you're not that. You are awesome. 83 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:10,160 You are great. You are smart. Yes, you have big emotions. And that's okay. Here are some things 84 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:16,320 that you can do to help you to calm your body and to regulate your emotions. So it was understanding 85 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:22,080 that he was autistic and then writing this for the different families that we went to, that we 86 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:29,360 definitely imagined. This is him right here. So you created the book that you needed and your son 87 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:38,640 needed at that time. Yes. To validate what he was going through. Absolutely. And we wanted parents 88 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:45,200 to know that it's okay to, you know, the parent right there, she's feeling sad, but at the same 89 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:50,400 time, she wants to validate him and let him know that it's okay to have big emotions. It's okay to 90 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:56,320 be upset. The mom here, she's crying a little bit, but at the same time, she's happy that he's 91 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,920 feeling a little bit, you know, he's feeling a little better. So these are things that really 92 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:05,040 help families and help teachers as well. They read it in their classrooms. That's really how 93 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:12,160 the whole thing started. I heard you say you call it a social and emotional. Social, emotional, 94 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:17,520 social, emotional regulation. Is that like a social story? Like is it, is the idea of it that it's 95 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:22,240 kind of guiding them through those emotions or what are your thoughts on the social, emotional? 96 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:28,160 Yes, it's kind of like a social story. So, so if they are, so if they're going through something, 97 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:34,800 and even if they're not going through something, it's really just to help other children to see 98 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:39,760 that your friend might be having some big emotions. Your friend might be having a difficult time in 99 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:46,000 your classroom and this is not out of the norm. Although we might not see every single day, 100 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,960 this is okay. It is okay. And here's some things that we can do to help your friend. Here's some 101 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:56,160 things maybe your friend needs different things like that. So it's really just to not alienate 102 00:09:56,160 --> 00:10:00,080 children, but help them to understand that we're all different and we all need different things. 103 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,480 Yeah, because as a teacher reading this, you wouldn't have to say, and these are the children 104 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:10,480 I'm talking about. Exactly. But just reading the story and having, I mean, children are clever. 105 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:15,280 They know. They can put two and two together. They can think, hang on, he does that. Like, 106 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:20,800 they might try this without actually saying it and then let the video put in the following. 107 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:26,320 Absolutely. Absolutely. And I tried to put it in a way that this can help, like, not only children 108 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:33,280 who have, who are autistic or who have very big emotions, but it can help anybody overall understand 109 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:39,680 that we all have different things we do to be able to keep our calm. Everyone has their own calm. 110 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:44,160 Everybody, some people use music to calm themselves. Some people use a blanket. Some people, 111 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:50,240 everyone has their own calm. And so in this book, it helps us all, even whether we're in a special 112 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:55,520 education classroom or not, we all have their, everybody gets angry. We all get angry. But what 113 00:10:55,520 --> 00:11:00,880 are some things you do to help you to calm yourself down? Right. It's funny you say that, 114 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:05,520 actually, this term has been the first term that I have used zones of regulation. I don't know if 115 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,320 you know of it. It's about naming your emotions and linking them to the colors. And we haven't done it 116 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:15,920 in our class before. And the idea is that you model as the adults and supporting adults as well 117 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:21,600 as the children doing it. And just me in the morning walking in, like no one's in there yet, 118 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:26,640 no one's in my room, and putting my photo and really thinking, what am I feeling today? And 119 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:31,600 naming that emotion and putting my photo onto it and changing it throughout the day. It has had a 120 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:40,720 really significant way of me feeling those things, accepting it, thinking about, okay, how am I going 121 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,400 to meet that then if I'm feeling tired, if I'm feeling ill, what am I going to do about it? 122 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:49,200 Because I can't go home and like, take the day off. So what am I going to do? And maybe and it's 123 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:54,480 making changes for me as an adult. So I have Yeah, so I'm sure I'll have an impact on the children 124 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:59,520 as well. But even just as an adult level, reading these stories, naming those emotions, thinking 125 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:05,040 about what am I feeling? What am I going through? How can I meet my needs? Also supports the 126 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:10,000 children. You know, when they they talk about the airplane, you say put your own seatbelt on in your 127 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:16,160 own oxygen mask on first, before you have the same thing. We're thinking about it, because we call 128 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,960 we call it co regulation. So like regulating together, because if one of you is just regulated, 129 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:26,160 whether it's the caregiver, or the child you're caring for, that's not going to be a regulated 130 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:30,720 state is it if you're both dysregulated. So yeah, put your own mask on first is such a great way of 131 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:38,960 thinking about it. I love that. So here, this is called sharing your calm, right? So the mom 132 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,760 here is calm, the little boy is completely dysregulated. But yeah, sometimes we need to 133 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:49,360 share our calm in order for us to share our calm. We need to be calm. Yeah. And even if we're feeling 134 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:54,880 all the feelings inside, we need to have ways of finding calm so that we can be there calm to their 135 00:12:54,880 --> 00:13:01,600 chaos. Absolutely. I love that. And then you have another book as well. So what book on? 136 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:10,320 So, um, I believe all about diversity. I focus on neurodiversity. However, all about diversity. 137 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,960 There was a little there was a little girl in my daughter's class who was getting bullied 138 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:20,480 because of the way she looked. And then everybody was everybody was teasing her. My daughter said, 139 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:25,760 mommy, I really tried to get them to stop teasing her. And it really broke my heart. And I don't 140 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:31,120 know what to do. And I was actually in the middle of writing another book, which is actually coming 141 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:36,720 out. That book is coming out next year. So stay tuned. But I was actually in the middle of writing 142 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:42,240 that one. But when my daughter came home, I said, you know, this, this is a story that needs to be 143 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:48,400 shared to let people know that our differences is what makes us beautiful. Any difference that we 144 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:54,000 are all unique on the outside and on the inside. So when we're talking about autism and ADHD and 145 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,720 dyslexia, that's on the inside of us. And that's what makes us, that's a part of what makes us 146 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:02,880 unique on the inside. But there are also things that makes us unique on the outside. When we think 147 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:08,480 together, it makes us amazing. And so this book is called the beauty of us all. This is also a book 148 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:13,600 that is in every classroom in our district. And in this book, it really just takes a moment to look 149 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:21,280 at nature, biodiversity and how diversity is in nature. In this page right here, there's a mom 150 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:26,560 talking to her daughter about the different fish in the aquarium and how they're all unique and how 151 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:32,320 they're all beautiful. And they're all the same fish and the differences that they all have, 152 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:38,320 whether it's the sizes, the shapes, the colors, those things make us look at them like, wow, 153 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:43,200 these are really beautiful. Same thing. We have these, we always have these little lessons with 154 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:48,000 snowflakes in our classroom. And this is a very good lesson for us during the winter season. 155 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:53,040 We have all these different shapes and sizes of snowflakes and that's the same thing with us 156 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:58,320 as well. We have all these different clouds and the skies and we look at them in awe and we say, 157 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:02,240 look at these different, look at the shape and oh, that one looks like a rabbit and this one 158 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:10,400 looks like a bear. And we have, let's see, we also have the leaves that are different colors here 159 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:15,120 and different shapes. And so this is what we're showing them. This is how it is in nature. 160 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:20,800 It's beautiful when we look at nature. When we look at nature, we're like, wow, 161 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:27,120 this is how it should be also when we're looking at each other. We're looking at our friends. 162 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:33,440 And I do author visits at the schools and sometimes I get the privilege of, 163 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:38,880 well, I have these grand assemblies, right? But sometimes I get these privileges of having 164 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:45,520 intimate settings where I'm with the children in their class. I love it. I love it. And so when 165 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:51,360 I'm in their class, I get to see them and say, look at your friend, look at their hand, look at 166 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:56,480 your skin, look at your hair. I want you to look at them and say these words. You are awesome. 167 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:02,960 And then they say that to each other. And it is so amazing how, you know, we can look at each other 168 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,680 and we can appreciate that my hair might be different than your hair. And my skin tone 169 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:12,080 might be a little bit darker or mine might be a little lighter. And all of our differences makes 170 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:18,320 us so amazingly beautiful. And that's how we were designed. And so the mom, she continues throughout 171 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:24,240 the book to show her different things in the aquarium. And they're able to see that whether 172 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:31,440 it's on the inside side or the outside, all of our differences makes us amazing. And so I really 173 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:37,360 try to, I have a publishing company and I really try to focus on creating books that will make 174 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:42,000 the children look at themselves and see just how amazing they are. And at the end of every book, 175 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,480 they have these affirmations. I don't know if you can see, but it's because it's backwards. 176 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:55,280 It says, I am beautiful. I am smart. I have a purpose. I am unique. I am a miracle. I am connected. 177 00:16:55,280 --> 00:17:02,160 I am chosen. I am loved. And so every book has a different set of affirmations in it. 178 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:08,720 And this is really just to remind your children in your classrooms or at home that they're amazing. 179 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:14,000 Because guess what? Our kids, especially our kids who are neurodivergent all the time, 180 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:19,920 they're constantly hearing, no, don't do that. No, you did that wrong. No, you can't do this. 181 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,200 You made a mistake. And they're constantly hearing all these negative things. 182 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,200 Even if, or they're so terrified of making a mistake, they're masking to the high heavens 183 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:32,800 and holding it all of themselves in all the things that make them them. I hate that even more. 184 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:37,760 Absolutely. Absolutely. They're holding themselves in. They want to fidget. They want to move around. 185 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:44,160 My daughter, she has ADHD. She has these fidgets everywhere. She always has fidgets. Every pocket 186 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:50,160 is fidgets. We buy. And sometimes she's in the classroom that's affirming and the teacher says, 187 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:55,120 are you having a hard time? You didn't grab one of your fidgets. It's okay. And sometimes she has to 188 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:59,840 go into a place, maybe like the library or a teacher that doesn't know her as well. And they say, 189 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:06,240 take that out of your hand. No toys in here. And so she's forcing herself as remember the girl, 190 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:12,000 girls masking a little bit more, it seems. She's forcing herself to it. Yeah, she's forcing yourself 191 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,640 to be able to stay still. She's having a hard time now. You can't concentrate on what you're saying 192 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:21,520 because she's just thinking about the fact that it needs to move. So she does this thing where she 193 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:27,760 wiggles her toes. And she often says, Mommy, can you buy me like shoes that it's big enough in a 194 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:35,280 tool area so that I can wiggle my toes when I'm forced to stay still. So it's unfortunate that we 195 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:40,800 have to force people to stay still all the time because that's not all how we all created. But I 196 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:47,120 mean, these are different things that people use in order to cope in the places that are not as 197 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:53,520 designed for them as they should. Absolutely. And maybe when as teachers, if you're hearing this and 198 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:58,160 wanting to read the book, maybe the other adults in the room need to hear it just as much or even 199 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:04,640 more than the children in the room. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I always say that 200 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:10,960 these books, even though they're children books, they each have a message for all of us as adults. 201 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:17,360 I mean, the I'm just a kid book, I think the main message for adults is about self-regulation for 202 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:24,080 yourself and then also sharing your calm because it's so easy when kids are having a meltdown or 203 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:29,120 they're they're frustrated. It's so easy to say, you're giving me a hard time instead of saying, 204 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:34,560 you're having a hard time. Yeah. Let me calm myself down and let me try to help you. Yeah. 205 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:41,120 Because you take it personally, like naturally, don't you? Yes. But you're not listening. Go in 206 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:46,000 time out. You know, that's just the natural thing that many of us do. It's a muscle you have to 207 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:53,440 exercise, isn't it? Your first instinct to be calm, regulated, swap out, whatever it is you need to 208 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:58,080 do is a muscle you have to exercise and constantly check in on with each other, I think, as a team as 209 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:05,360 well. Yes, definitely not easy. Doesn't come natural. We learn to calm our bodies. So we really 210 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:10,560 have to when we see somebody completely dysregulated, we really need to say, okay, who's 211 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:16,720 that? Let me calm down. Let me calm down. My son, when I mean he's having a meltdown, it's sometimes 212 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:23,680 so like I feel it here. I get so frustrated sometimes. And I have to really like calm myself 213 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:28,000 in order to go to him. And then when I'm walking to him, he gets nervous. Like, are you going to 214 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,720 be upset with me right now? Like, how was the response going to be? And I go to him and I hug 215 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:39,200 him. And then he says, I really thought you were going to be upset. I'm like, I was trying my best 216 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:46,480 to not show that I was upset or be upset. But it's not easy. But that's what helps our children. 217 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:52,000 Do you feel like it's a luxury in school and compare to our home that I've got lots of 218 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:57,280 supporting adults in my room that I can just switch out with, you know, to just give me a moment 219 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:02,080 to gather my thoughts, take a breath, go outside or whatever, and then come back into the situation 220 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:08,160 calm? I feel like lots of parents don't have that luxury. And so it's about finding other 221 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:13,440 ways, isn't it in the moment, because you won't always necessarily be able to safely walk away 222 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:20,480 and take that time. Yeah. And then also, so it's about teaching your children to be able to 223 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,520 think about the things that helps them to calm down, even when sorry, even when you as the adult 224 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:31,760 are not there. So like, if you're if you're not home, if your child was not home, and they're at 225 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,240 school, they have to think about what are some things that helps me to calm down so that I can 226 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:43,200 use that. I say to the teachers that I'm coaching very often, as adults, we, we try to make 227 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:48,560 accommodations for ourselves, right? We're sitting down, we have our little pens, we're clicking it 228 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:55,200 because we can't we have to move around, right? We're drawing and we're tapping our foot, or 229 00:21:55,200 --> 00:22:01,600 we might just get up and walk around us as adults. But as kids, when we see kids doing that, we tell 230 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:08,480 them sit down. What are you doing? You're moving around too much. We don't give them that opportunity. 231 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:14,080 So helping children to find those ways to accommodate for themselves, just like us as adults, 232 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:20,000 we accommodate for ourselves. And we have the same struggles, right? There's no this is the 233 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:25,440 kids struggle, this is adult, no, kids get angry, we get angry, kids get busy, we get busy too. 234 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:30,320 Try sitting in a three hour meeting, and having to be forced to sit is not easy. 235 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:34,400 It was really obvious, actually, in the beginning of this year, we had some training, 236 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:39,120 and we were asked to sit for I think it was 45 minutes at a time before a break. And I was 237 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:44,080 looking around thinking 45 minutes is too long for us adults. And we're asking these children, 238 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,360 because the adults were fidgeting, they were getting up, they were wiggling in their chair, 239 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:53,280 they were doing doodles. And yeah, we're asking some six year olds, sometimes in phonics to sit 240 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:59,200 in for 45 minutes is too long. It's far too long. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Which is why it's 241 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:04,560 good to have these movement breaks as much as you can. Simple. It can be simple. It could be like, 242 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,800 okay, everybody stand up, put your hands all the way up. Ask my students and they sometimes get 243 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,680 annoyed because I do it too much. I made it. I say, okay, everybody stand up, put your hands up, 244 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,600 wiggle your fingers, move your, move your shoulders around. Okay, you can sit back down. 245 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:22,640 Then a professor, why did we have to do that? I'm like, because some people in here needed it. 246 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,960 You might not have needed it. So, but I want to give them an opportunity. That's the point though, 247 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:31,200 isn't it? As teachers, rather than picking out, okay, you need a movement break, you need a movement 248 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:36,400 break. Everyone needs a movement break. Let's just, let's just all do it. Let's just all take five. 249 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:41,280 You'll end up wasting that time somewhere along the line anyway. So let's just take five, let's all 250 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:45,280 do it. Cause actually some people are masking. We wouldn't even know if they need it or not. 251 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:49,920 Absolutely. And let's just all do it and we'll all be better for it because there's no harm that comes 252 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:56,720 from doing that, is there? Absolutely. Absolutely. Another thing that we can do as educators, as just 253 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:05,440 people is make sure that we are making the space as affirming as possible. So letting them know, 254 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:10,480 you can tell me if the lights are too bright. Let me know if the lights are too bright. I can dim 255 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:15,440 them. Like I can turn one of these off. Let me know if this music that I'm playing in class during 256 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,240 while everybody's doing classwork and we have music playing, let me know if it's a little bit too loud 257 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:24,960 because for some people it can be loud and others are completely fine with it. But if you're having 258 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:31,680 a hard time, let's hear it up. It's okay. Just let me know. You know, just making sure that it's an 259 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:36,640 affirming place so that they know, okay, this might bother me and it doesn't bother somebody else, 260 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:45,600 but it's okay. My teacher says that it's okay if we can turn this down or adjust it. So as a person 261 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:50,720 who understands or is starting to understand this, this is a very good... It's about embedding that 262 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:55,760 philosophy in your classroom, isn't it? Yeah. In everything you do, saying it outright and not 263 00:24:55,760 --> 00:25:00,640 assuming that they will just tell you that it's too loud because often children wouldn't unless 264 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,640 they were asked to. They're so scared of being told off which is the wrong thing, especially 265 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:10,400 those neurodiverse maskers. So yeah, it's about outrightly saying, isn't it? And reminding and 266 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,960 embedding that philosophy and also saying when maybe you're struggling like, oh, that's too loud. 267 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:19,920 I'm really struggling to concentrate right now. Can you keep it down a bit? Because actually I 268 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:24,720 feel a bit wiggly. Can we just move? So like almost putting it on yourself and not doing it, 269 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,800 for the sake of it, but doing it really honestly. Like actually, you know what? I'm not with it today. 270 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,400 Like I'm feeling a little bit down under the weather. Let's go there because then it's 271 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,440 embedding like this is okay. This is something that adults really something that children feel. 272 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:41,440 It's something that we all feel. Let's talk about that. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because what? 273 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:47,120 We're human. We're all human. We're adults, but we're human just like our students or the people 274 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:53,840 that we are taking care of. And so letting them know, guys, this is what I do because I'm neurodivergent. 275 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:59,200 Sometimes, yes, it might be a little harder. The light might be too bright for me and maybe the 276 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:04,560 sound might be too much. So I tell them all the time, my students, guys, just so you know, today 277 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:10,880 I'm having a little bit of light sensitivity. So if you see me put on my shades or if you see me 278 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:16,400 turn down the light, this is why. But if you're having a hard time, I won't turn on the lights. 279 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:21,760 I'll just put on my shades. So I just let them know like this is what's going on because guess what? 280 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:27,520 They know that you care about them. They also care about you as well. And building those 281 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:32,720 relationships is what makes the place affirming and accepting. It's all about building that 282 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:39,680 passion culture. My learners are cognitively quite low. They're very disabled as far as 283 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,640 like cognitive ability goes and communication. But I still feel like there's ways of doing that. 284 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,160 So rather than maybe explaining it, I just show it. Sometimes if it's loud, I just put on ear 285 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:54,400 defenders myself. Or sometimes if I need grounding, I put a weighted blanket on myself or I twiddle, 286 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,720 you know, whatever it is. So you can model it without any language at all. So if you're 287 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,320 hearing this and thinking, oh, I'd really like to do that, but I don't think my child will understand. 288 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:07,760 Well, you can just model it. And there doesn't need to be a verbal explanation. Just by you 289 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:13,200 doing those things and reaching for those things, they will get to know, okay, this is something that 290 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:19,680 we can all do. And this is when I can do it, I think is perfectly manageable, isn't it? 291 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:25,280 Yes. And I think that's a way to make your classroom or your community as inclusive as you 292 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:32,640 possibly can using those verbal prompts, using the nonverbal, just having it all, all different ways. 293 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,040 I definitely think that helps all of our students. 294 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:40,720 Yeah, I love that. So would you have any, is there anything else that you would hope or wish that 295 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:48,480 teachers would have or do in their classroom to make it as inclusive as possible? 296 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,720 Yeah. What does that look like in your mind? 297 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:58,640 So I, you know, my daughter was really blessed to be in the classroom that she's in right now. 298 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:03,760 She has a teacher who is neurodivergent. Her teacher is, and her teacher teaches ELA, 299 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:09,840 and she's also dyslexic. And I was like, you teach ELA and you're dyslexic? Awesome. I love you. 300 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:16,080 And in their classrooms, they have different zones of lighting. So teachers have lamps in there 301 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:21,600 just so that you don't necessarily have to have the bright overhead lighting. You can have different 302 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:28,400 lighting. You have your cozy areas where if you need to move from where you are and go into 303 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:35,920 a place to just calm your body, you can. You might have, the teacher also has a standing desk. So a 304 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:41,520 student who's having a hard time sitting at their desk and doing their work, it literally looks like 305 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:47,360 a tray where they could just put that on their desk and they can just continue to do their work 306 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:52,240 there. Having those movement breaks and everybody, maybe everybody dancing or maybe everybody 307 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:57,840 going for a walk together, just making sure that you are including as many people as you can. 308 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:03,760 Also speaking about neurodiversity so that it's not something that is like when someone 309 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:08,560 experiences one student, they're not like, what's going on with that student? You know, 310 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:14,640 we're teaching them about AAC devices, right? We're teaching them about this chat or we're 311 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:19,360 teaching them about autism and how it's different, how it looks different for everyone. Teaching them 312 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:25,200 about ADHD. And maybe if you are a neurodivergent teacher yourself, you're teaching them from your 313 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:32,720 experience as well. As much as we can make things inclusive, ask your parents and say, hey, we're 314 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:37,360 going to be teaching about such and such a such. Would you like to come into our classroom and 315 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:43,600 share your experiences? And so as much as we can, we're making it so that it's not a, oh, 316 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:50,080 an others thing. This is a us, this is a us thing. This is a people thing. This is our friends type 317 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:56,720 of thing. Yeah, absolutely. Definitely. Someone's asked, how can you be inclusive in the classroom 318 00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:01,440 when some children and teachers need bright lights and others might need dim lights? I can speak for 319 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:08,080 myself. It's children often know what they need. So one of my children likes to wear hoods or 320 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:13,840 blankets over their head or caps or hats. And it's about acknowledging that and allowing that 321 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,440 because there'll be a reason for that. And it could well be because the lights are too bright. 322 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:23,440 Yeah. And I have students that it's constantly like lights on, lights off, lights on. I mean, 323 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:28,720 typically children wouldn't care too much as far as a sensory regulation level. If they are too 324 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:35,200 low, it would be more of a visual vision thing if they're too low. So I would say test it, test it 325 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:40,960 a little bit dimmer because then all might be able to access. But also, yeah, allowing hoods up, 326 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:48,160 allowing caps on, allowing sunglasses. I feel like lots of classrooms would not do that. But that 327 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:55,040 just seems obvious to me that that would be a solution. Do you have any other ideas on that? 328 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:59,280 Whether it's like some like it lights up, some like it noises, some like it music, some like quiet. 329 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:03,760 How do you manage that? I mean, definitely, I definitely agree, agree with your strategies. 330 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:09,440 I mean, I never actually thought about the hoods and the caps in class. However, I think that's an 331 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:16,480 awesome idea. Some I've had teachers say to me, well, it's not fair though, because this everybody's 332 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:21,760 going to want to have it. In the younger classes, I teach about, you know, helping children to 333 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,760 understand people's needs. Some people need wheelchairs, some people don't need wheelchairs. 334 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:30,080 We're not all going to be wearing wheelchairs, but some people need it, right? So understanding 335 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:36,400 and accepting that people need certain things. If somebody gets a boo-boo and they're bleeding and 336 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,960 now they need a band-aid, but not everybody's going to need a band-aid. So keeping it to them 337 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:48,160 in that way before, before it comes up, helps them to be able to understand, okay, some people need 338 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:53,440 certain things and some people don't need certain things. I think that that will help. Well, who's 339 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:58,960 to say they don't need that? They might all need them. Like maybe, like who are we to say they don't? 340 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:04,000 And it will soon become clear who's getting distracted and who's actually being focused 341 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,800 by that fidget resource, right? It looks like you're being distracted by your fidget resource. Is 342 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:13,040 this supposed to help you concentrate? Remember, if it's not helping you concentrate, maybe put it away and 343 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:18,400 do it at playtime, but almost assume competence, assume that they know their bodies and tell 344 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:23,440 proven other ways rather than the other way around of assuming they don't know what their bodies need 345 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:29,040 and we're in complete control of everybody's needs and we know exactly what they're all feeling. Of 346 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,040 course, we can't do that. So who are we to say you don't need that? Because actually they could be 347 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:38,560 wiggling their toes in their shoes for an hour, but sitting perfectly still and we're saying they 348 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:45,120 don't need it. Who are we? Who are we to say that? Absolutely. Absolutely. Like I said, I have my 349 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,520 daughters who wiggles her toes all the time and when I speak to her teachers, they're like, 350 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:54,080 well, she's fine. She doesn't need such a thing. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I literally have to go buy 351 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:58,720 her bigger shoes all the time so that she can have that opportunity. So I think it's, assume 352 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:04,640 competence is a really great practice. Yeah. Assume that they know what they want until proven 353 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:10,800 otherwise, until they are a bit silly with the results or until they aren't safe with climbing 354 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:16,960 or until they aren't doing it in a safe or appropriate way. And then we can guide them 355 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:21,760 with maybe a safer way or a more return away or maybe they just do it at a later time. But I think 356 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:27,920 assuming competence is setting yourself up for an inclusive classroom, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. 357 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:32,080 You don't need that. I mean, let's face it, when you first get the fidgets out, when you first 358 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:36,480 introduce it to your class, they're all going to want them. Let's just put it out there. Let's not 359 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:40,560 try and lie to ourselves. They're all going to want the fidgets because it looks fun and it looks, 360 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,280 you know, doesn't it? And it's new. We all like new and fun things, but it will soon become obvious 361 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:50,480 who it's helping and who it's not. And we can have a conversation around that then. Yeah. Maybe we'll be 362 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:56,720 giving them that opportunity to try it out. Let's all try it out together. Exactly. Like, does this 363 00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:01,200 feel good for me? How do you know if you haven't tried it? Yeah, absolutely. You know, in the 364 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:06,240 beginning, they complained about it. They call it toys. But when they really see it working, 365 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,880 when they really see, oh, this child is using it and the understanding and retaining everything 366 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:17,280 that I'm saying to them. Okay, I see how this works. I think teachers who have not used 367 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:22,400 fidgets in their classroom or don't normally allow fidgets, take the time to really, really look to 368 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:28,720 see how it's working for your students. Yeah. I think it's different, difficult when you've got a class of 30 369 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:35,520 to relinquish that control. Yeah. Because it takes so much time and energy to get them sat and get 370 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:41,280 them there. The idea of adding toys and fidgets to that just seems like it's out loud and controllable. 371 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:46,000 Actually, when reality when it's used properly and appropriately with those children that need it, 372 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:51,360 actually, you will notice you'll see the difference. You won't need to feel like you have to control 373 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:58,880 and sit and stay still in order to feel heard and seen and them listening. Because actually, it will 374 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:04,640 just happen if their needs are met and if they're regulated. So it's almost like releasing that fear 375 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:09,680 of losing control and actually turning into, you know, we need to collaborate rather than 376 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:17,040 control, don't we? But it's scary as a teacher in front of with 33 children with no support staff. 377 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:23,040 That's scary. And I get it. I get why teachers are fearful of that. And also when they they they're 378 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,080 really brave and they try it for the first time and then it goes crazy because all of them want 379 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:32,160 fidgets. I say stick with it. You do it for three weeks. I promise you after three weeks, it will be 380 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:37,200 old news and those children that need it will actually just be using it. Yes. But it's hard to 381 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:42,800 stick with something for three weeks when it's chaos in your classroom. Absolutely. Absolutely. 382 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:48,960 It's all about trying it out. And not all fidgets are created equally. Some things work and some 383 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:54,320 things don't work. So at first, you definitely have to try things out. Yeah, that's true. I get 384 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:59,440 lots of messages saying I tried to ease but they don't work. I'm like, have you tried lumpy to ease 385 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:04,640 bumpy to ease vibrating to ease hard to ease soft to ease. There were there was many to ease out 386 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:11,280 there as there are diverse people, you know, you know, and saying the fidgets as well. So it is 387 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,280 about maybe talking to the parents. I mean, the parents might know what they're doing or having a 388 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:20,880 look at their behavior, you know, if they're twiddling ribbon, well, then a fidget of a cube 389 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:25,440 isn't gonna maybe give them that same feeling. Maybe they know something similar. So it's about 390 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:32,400 an unpicking the why and the how they're meeting their needs and what that is. For example, if your 391 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:37,440 daughter's moving her toes, or she obviously needs some kind of movement, doesn't she? It wouldn't 392 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:44,080 necessarily be a visual stimuli that helps her. So it would yeah, kind of looking at each each 393 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:49,200 has individual really, and talking to them about it, you can, you know, why do you do that? What 394 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:53,200 helps you? Oh, you know, do you think of anything else that might help you? If you can have that 395 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:57,920 conversation, I think it's really empowering to include them in that conversation. And also to 396 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:04,080 observe what they do naturally, right? So like, if you notice, like my son, he has like the bottom of 397 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:10,320 his shirt, he will just go like this all the time, every minute. And so like, if you notice something, 398 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:15,760 a type of fidget that has that same type of sensation, keep those things in mind, because 399 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:20,560 we're all, like I mentioned, when I was a kid, we all have different ways to calm our bodies, we all 400 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:26,240 have our different, so fidgets are the same way. There are things that my daughter, she likes the 401 00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:32,080 poppies, she likes, she pretty much likes every fidget, but she has hers is about sensory. She 402 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:39,760 loves sensory. Some people are sensory avoidant. Yeah. And some people crave that sensory. And so 403 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,840 people that are sensory avoidant might not necessarily want the slime, right? You have the 404 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:48,000 slime for everybody. It doesn't work for that particular person, but it might not work for that 405 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:54,480 child. So keeping that child in mind to observe them to see what is it that they really start to 406 00:37:54,480 --> 00:38:01,040 go towards? What is it that their body is kind of craving? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Somebody asked 407 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:06,000 an interesting question. It's kind of, it's going off of the sensory and inclusion side, but it is 408 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:10,880 still relevant, I feel. And I wondered what you would want as a mother, but also as an educator, 409 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,960 I felt like you're a good person to ask for this. I have a student who is on the spectrum in grade 410 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:20,480 three. His mom has high expectations on solving multi-step math questions. How can I explain to 411 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:26,960 mom it is tough for him? And I have experienced this too, where parents have maybe unrealistic 412 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:32,080 expectations on where they're at right now and how to navigate that as the educator in the 413 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:42,320 education. Okay. So this is tough because it's really about executive functioning, I think. And 414 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:49,600 not everybody is able to understand what executive functioning is, but really try to explain it in 415 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:54,560 that type of sense. Understanding that not everybody's going to be able to do things with 416 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:59,200 all five steps at the same time. Understanding that maybe you need to break things down. 417 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:04,880 Maybe you need to break down the problem even more than such a such. It's tough though, because a lot 418 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:10,800 of times when parents are in denial, it doesn't really help the situation. But at the same time, 419 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:17,440 parents, they don't have the type of experiences that, or just like the doctor, they go to the 420 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:22,720 doctor and the doctor doesn't tell them the right thing. So in their minds, they have been hearing 421 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:27,120 all these negative things, negative things, negative things about anything different. And so as 422 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:32,800 teachers, oftentimes when you're like, you think your child needs something else, they're automatically 423 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:38,480 going to revert to all of those negative things that they have heard. So if we can break it down, 424 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:42,880 instead of saying your child's struggling with such a such a such, teach them about executive 425 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:48,720 functioning as a whole, just about everybody. And then let them know these are some ways that we 426 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:52,640 break this down a little bit more, they might be able to get it better. I don't know if you understand 427 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,320 or if I'm explaining it in a way that... Yeah, I know you are. So for those that don't know, 428 00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:04,000 executive function is your get up and go. And it's something that often autistic people and people 429 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:13,520 with ADHD, it's a struggle to get up and go, to start the tasks unless they're compelled to. It's 430 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:19,760 really hard to make yourself do those things. And it's all about organization as well, isn't it? 431 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:26,880 Completion, the order of completion of tasks that make the most sense isn't, isn't often easy to 432 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:32,320 navigate for somebody that struggles with executive function. So they're step by step, 433 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:37,840 tasks are less broken down for you and less visual and organized for you. It's going to be really 434 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:44,720 hard to follow that and make that up in your mind. And also if they are just getting cognitively 435 00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:51,760 not ready for that type of learning, now I feel like this parent is coming from a good place. 436 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,160 I feel like they're wanting the best for their child. I feel like they're wanting them to 437 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,840 progress. They're wanting what's good for them, but they might not know what that looks like. 438 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:02,320 If they haven't worked in special education before or it's relative, right? If their siblings 439 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:06,160 aren't where this child's at, they're just assuming that's what's going to happen because they don't 440 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,960 know any different. So it's just about educating them on they're doing well for them. This is what 441 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:15,520 progress looks like for them. This is their next target, you know, involve them in those conversations. 442 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,320 This is what you could be working on with them. This is what we're hoping to see that next year. 443 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:24,080 This is the things that we're working on. And then they've got a bit of a goal. They've got a bit of 444 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:28,000 a target. They can see the progress. They know what they're looking for rather than trying to 445 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:33,280 fill in the gaps themselves. And then it kind of missing the mark a little bit on what's realistic 446 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:39,600 in that timeframe, maybe. Emotional awareness is a powerful key for addressing challenges within 447 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:45,280 the autism spectrum. We can train a child to recognize the onset of a wave of anger before 448 00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:51,760 it fully arises. It's hard to get back from dysregulation sometimes without almost seeing 449 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:57,120 it through. I find sometimes it's about catching it early. I feel like what lots of my students, 450 00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:01,200 it's about knowing them really well. And you can kind of see it bubbling under the surface. 451 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:06,480 Whereas if you don't have that relationship, you might not see it. I get lots of messages saying, 452 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:10,560 they did it and there was no trigger. Or they did this thing. Yeah, that you saw. 453 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,200 They just go from zero to a hundred. Like they probably don't, they've probably been bubbling for 454 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:21,200 a while. And it just hasn't been noticed because it's subtle or you, you know, you haven't heard 455 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,920 those certain sound changes. You haven't heard those, you know, those hand movement change or 456 00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:32,960 whatever, whatever it is. So it's about knowing that child. So I share this with my teachers 457 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:41,840 very often and also my son really struggles with emotional regulation. And so he often asks me, 458 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:48,080 why, why, what has this happened to me that I get so angry so quickly? Or he will say, I went to 459 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:54,240 school, it's more thing happened. And for the rest of the day, I couldn't handle anything else. 460 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:59,440 Everything does make me angry. And I said, sometimes think about it like, think about it 461 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:04,800 like you have a jar and the jar is basically all of the things that you're able to manage throughout 462 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:11,360 the day. And sometimes when you, sometimes a whole bunch of little things that make you frustrated, 463 00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:16,320 little stuff that make you frustrated can fill up that jar. You know, the jar has a top, 464 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:22,400 but once you reach the top of that jar, you're not going to be able to handle much more. 465 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:27,840 Sometimes you're just going to not have any tolerance. And so at times when you go to school 466 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:32,400 and you're finding that you cannot handle anything, maybe you went and your jar was already full. 467 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:37,840 Maybe you didn't have enough sleep that night. Maybe you didn't have any breakfast. Maybe when 468 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:43,040 you got to school, your breakfast fell on the floor. Nobody else knows about that. But you know, 469 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:47,360 your breakfast fell on the floor or they didn't have the one that you wanted. Maybe you want a 470 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:52,320 chocolate chip and they only have blueberry and all of those little things were filling up that 471 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:58,960 jar that you have. And now it's at the top. So your teacher sees that your teacher sees 472 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:03,200 if you come to class, you started doing your work, your pencil broke. You didn't tell them about your 473 00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:09,360 pencil, but your pencil broke and somebody comes next to you and you just yell at them. 474 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:14,160 Your teacher says, well, there was no trigger. I don't know what the trigger was. Now you didn't 475 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:20,400 see everything that happened to fill up that jar. Some days they might, you might go to school 476 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:28,160 and that jar is, you have so much space throughout the day to fill it up and you might go home. 477 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:33,920 And your teacher said he had a day. He did. He had no meltdowns. He had no trouble with anything. 478 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,680 Yeah, because he went to school and he was completely fine. Nothing, nothing really filled 479 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:43,280 up that chart or maybe it did. And he had a lot left to give you, but sometimes you don't. 480 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:48,720 Sometimes you go to school and it's already half full and just so much that you can take. 481 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,280 And those are things that as educators, we don't see that. We don't see that. I don't walk around 482 00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:59,280 with the jar, but it's really for us to understand that, okay, they may have been some things that 483 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:04,960 we didn't notice and we can't say that there was no trigger, but even the light that's too bright 484 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:10,640 can be a trigger. We can't see it. Yeah. Yeah. Or sounds that we're not aware of, but they are. 485 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:17,840 Or smells. Yes. I think that would be a really beautiful visual to do in class with your learners. 486 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:24,240 Yeah. To explain about your jar. And then they can use that language about giving your children 487 00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:28,160 the language of explaining how they're feeling. And then they can use the work terms like, 488 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,640 my jar's really full today. And that child just said they didn't like me. And that made me really 489 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:37,360 upset. And it's because they've started with my jar's really full today. It gives a reason, 490 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:42,880 doesn't it? And the educator can approach it so differently than if they hadn't had that language 491 00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:49,040 of explaining about their jar. I really love that. I really love that analogy. I feel like it makes 492 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:55,920 a lot of sense. Absolutely. It helps you to know that not everything is visible, not all behavior. 493 00:45:55,920 --> 00:46:01,760 You know, which is, when my college students, I teach them about Skinner, BF Skinner, and the 494 00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:08,240 whole behaviorist approach for psychology. And I always say, I don't really agree with that per se, 495 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:12,640 especially when it comes to education. The whole education system, when it comes to classroom 496 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:20,880 management, seems to be focused on the psychologist BF Skinner and how he, a dog, I don't know if you 497 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:26,480 know about psychologists, BF Skinner, but he had a dog and he was able to say, if I ring this bell, 498 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,480 if I ring this bell, you know it's time for dinner. And every time he heard the bell, he knew it was 499 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:36,400 that for dinner. He behaved a certain way. He was salivating. So basically he said, if I do this, 500 00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:42,640 I'm expecting a particular behavior from you. In school, this is how we are looking at classroom 501 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:47,520 management. We're looking at outside triggers, the bell and stuff like that. We're looking at 502 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:52,240 outside triggers to be able to say, this is the behavior that I'm expecting. But there's not always 503 00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:58,640 outside triggers. Sometimes it's internal. Sometimes it's the light's too bright. Sometimes it's 504 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:04,160 the smell. That child is eating a candy that I hate the smell of that and it's driving me insane. 505 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:09,440 Or maybe that person is eating fish and it's driving me crazy and I just want to deck someone, 506 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:13,680 but I can't. Sometimes a memory of something that happened a little while ago or something that 507 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:19,520 happened earlier. Like I had it today. Something happened and I was like, I haven't reacted to it. 508 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:24,720 That's odd. Okay, let's just go with it. Then at horse riding, 20 minutes, 30 minutes later, 509 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:30,240 that's when it came up. Luckily, I was the same adult. I could see the transition. I could manage 510 00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:34,240 it from knowing what had happened. But if there was a transition over there, if I handed it over 511 00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:38,960 to a parent or a different adult, they wouldn't have known what happened 20 minutes, 30 minutes 512 00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:48,000 ago. Leading to that behavior. That behavior or the reaction from what you were saying didn't happen 513 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,840 simply because that jar was not full. He had a little more tolerance for it. 514 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:58,240 Yeah. It took a while for him to be angry about it. It all came out of taking him by surprise. 515 00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:02,320 Because he's got a learning disability, he might have taken him by surprise and it's 516 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:08,160 processing time as well, isn't it? Processing just happened. Processing. I'm angry about this. 517 00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:12,800 Hang on a minute. I really wanted that and now I can't have it all, whatever it was. 518 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:17,280 And then it comes out and that's justified, isn't it? That sometimes it takes that time. 519 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,200 Exactly. And one more thing. 520 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:24,400 Exactly. I'm still cross about this. I mean, yeah. I mean, we all can relate to being cross 521 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,160 about things years later, can't we? Absolutely. 522 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,960 Yeah. It's just maybe they can't explain it a little bit the same. Thank you so much for joining. 523 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:38,160 This has been so insightful and it's really taught me. I like to, at the end of all of our chats, 524 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:43,440 kind of give myself a little target or a little goal for the week. And I really think it's about 525 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:51,680 giving the children visual representations of quite complex stuff. So whether it's the jar 526 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:58,000 or whether it's us modeling fidgets or whether it's us explaining about the light, 527 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:05,840 or the nature of diversity. I love those. I feel like this whole life has been full of visual 528 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:14,320 examples that are so much easier to access and understand. And it's giving the children 529 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:18,240 the language and the tools in order to explain for themselves. So that's what I'm going to take. 530 00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:22,720 I'm going to one, buy your T-books because they sound absolutely beautiful and perfect. And I 531 00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:28,160 do think they'll make amazing sensory stories. Definitely. You'll be seeing that in the future 532 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:32,800 because I think that is just amazing. And I love making sensory stories, stories like that. And I 533 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:39,120 haven't got any books like that in my repertoire. So I will need to add those, but also about, 534 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:43,600 yeah, thinking about how I can visually represent that and make it accessible for my learners. 535 00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:50,480 I think it's really important. Awesome. That is awesome. I'm so happy to be here with you guys 536 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:55,280 today. It was very nice speaking about all the things that we were speaking about. And I hope 537 00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:59,920 it really helped some of you guys who were listening. And even those who don't get a chance to listen to 538 00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:04,480 live and you see it afterwards. I really hope that this helps you and your children. 539 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:08,320 Have no doubt it will. Thank you so much and have a really great afternoon. 540 00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:30,720 All right. Thank you so much. Thanks. Bye.