1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,840 Hi, my name is Jordan. I am a special education teacher from the UK. I share my passion for 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:11,040 everything communication, sensory regulation and fun lesson ideas for my classroom of disabled 3 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:17,120 pupils aged 4 to 11. Each week I am joined by experts in the field answering your questions 4 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:22,800 and sharing our knowledge and experience working alongside our beautiful young people. Let's get started. 5 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:31,040 Today we are being joined by an autism parent who's also autistic herself and I thought it 6 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:35,600 would be a really good insight because lots of us are teachers and half of us are parents. 7 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:44,720 So it would be a really good insight to have a parent on here to talk about her experience 8 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:51,200 going through the diagnosis process for her child and also her child is starting special school. 9 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,200 It's all about that kind of collaboration because it's so important isn't it? It's crucial actually. 10 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:03,520 The relationship between parent or professional and parent is so crucial to the success of any 11 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:11,600 child. So I'm going to bring Laura on now. Hi Laura! I adore everything you share. You are just, 12 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:19,360 it's so amazing. I mean the parents that I work with in my school online and offline are just 13 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:28,720 the most amazing. But obviously like you don't choose this. I've chosen to invest my life in 14 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:36,480 autism and it just feels like you have just dived straight in with like the life you've been given 15 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:41,920 I suppose. Yeah and that's what it feels like. Is that fair? Yeah that's what it feels like for the 16 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,440 sort of after diagnosis but obviously also in the time building up you know I knew 17 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:52,960 I knew Ethan was autistic from one maybe even less than. I knew nothing about autism or I didn't think 18 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:58,480 I did and I knew you know so you know for such a long period of time before your child is actually 19 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:03,360 diagnosed and I think actually that's a part of being. So you didn't even saw it. It wasn't a 20 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:09,360 pediatrician or it wasn't a DP or professional it was you that knew. Yeah. Okay. Yeah I knew Ethan 21 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:16,320 didn't babble at all. He was basically sort of silent and you know we always say we hear like 22 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:22,080 I doubt they are newborn but I hear newborn babies saying things or babbling and I think 23 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:26,800 oh I've never heard that. Right. You know I've never heard that from Ethan. He also did the sort of 24 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:34,560 hand flapping and he's the who the diagnostic criteria was written for really. He took a lot of the boxes. 25 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:41,360 Yeah okay. But we still had you know at Health Insta said oh he's not he's not he's a boy 26 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:50,000 boys speak late boys are lazy. You know we had all of that. You had that or like building up to one. 27 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:56,160 Building up to or built from one onwards you know even when we're saying you know he hasn't said 28 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:02,000 anything and things like you can only get preferred to speech and language from two I think it is. So 29 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:08,240 we're like okay if the waiting list is years long can't he get. Let's get on it. That sort of thing 30 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:13,680 but obviously that's. So that's not a thing you can't get on it earlier than that. We got on it 31 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:19,440 pretty quickly and then obviously you kind of think oh when they've got diagnosed great you know 32 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:24,640 all this support that I keep being told about will appear and obviously we all know it doesn't for 33 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:30,320 sort of one reason or another. Yeah some some get sent out with a leaflet some don't even get that. 34 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:37,520 Some get an email saying we agree that your child is autistic and and there's nothing there's no 35 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:42,640 other information. I think that you're in such a place because I always say that I didn't get a 36 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:47,200 leaflet or anything and I've been speaking to Ethan's pediatrician a little bit about the things 37 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,840 that I'm doing and she sort of apologized for that and said that I think you are kind of emailed 38 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:58,400 something but obviously when you're told your child's autistic even though I knew see it's such a huge 39 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:03,760 life-changing thing I don't know what I've emailed you know but I'm not going to be clicking on it 40 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:09,040 and reading pages and stuff you know you're you know you're not in the right place. Scientific 41 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:17,520 professional jargon it's just really scientific and scary doesn't it. It's all it all feels so 42 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,960 obviously it doesn't change the child you have like he's always been autistic 43 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,840 or the email and after the email. Yeah yeah but I can imagine seeing a wall of words 44 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:35,120 that look really medical yeah could be the worst thing to help you at that moment. Yeah 45 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:42,240 yeah and however much you know still kind of seeing it in black and white written down is still a 46 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:47,520 sort of a huge thing and even when we knew and then we're like right we need to ask nursery if 47 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:52,320 they think he is we need to ask his speech and language service they said yes you know instantly 48 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:58,160 instantly even then it's still it's all still a shock even though you know. Of course it is I've 49 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:04,880 just been through it with a friend and colleague actually and everyone around her was saying he is 50 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:10,240 he is I have no doubt he is and even if it comes back that he isn't we will go again because he is 51 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:15,360 like she's hearing this all the time she was like I know I know but what you know what if what if 52 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,480 because it's just that niggle in the back of my mind what if I'm just seeing it what if 53 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,960 you know what that health visitor said is true and you know all those kind of things go through 54 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:28,320 your head but then seeing it in black and white you know whether in a letter or an email 55 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:38,960 is must feel 50 validation of course I know my son but also 50 this is our life now like 56 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:44,960 yeah this is this is it this is I was right this is this is what it is yeah yeah and you're just 57 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:50,480 thrown into this world which you have no understanding of at the time you feel like you're the only 58 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:57,200 family going through which is why you know before I set up this account Instagram had such a powerful 59 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:03,680 impact on me like Instagram is where I heard about AAC like just cult language processing 60 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:10,320 and just knowing that other families live our life you know yeah because then you can kind of take 61 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:15,920 and take yeah you can kind of take control a little bit and maybe and maybe also a few years 62 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:22,400 just wondering I think I feel like social media is an incredibly powerful tool when used that way 63 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:30,880 because it's social and you can tap into all the experts that have years of referrals to wait for 64 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:36,880 them and yet you can tap into their videos and get a little snippet of information to piece together 65 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:43,760 it's incredibly powerful and I think as well I could also skip a few years and obviously every 66 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:48,960 day isn't it isn't brilliant but you know most days are and I think I've skipped a few years in 67 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:59,040 terms of the why me the how is this our life kind of feeling okay also if there's a parent watching 68 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:04,960 this thinking actually I am grieving I am I've known parents that have grieved for a good five 69 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:10,080 six seven years as a child they they adore their child they love their child there's absolutely no 70 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:16,320 judgment but they are grieving the child and the life that they thought they were going to have and 71 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:24,720 I do think that is nothing wrong with that and it's absolutely and I never hear that and think less 72 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:30,720 of them no and I don't I never also think that less of their love for their child either I think 73 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:35,520 it's really important to acknowledge that but do I hope that they come to terms with the child they 74 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:42,080 have absolutely eventually with support so it's amazing to hear that because how long ago was he 75 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:49,360 um was was he diagnosed sort of 18 months or so ago in 18 months you've gotten to a point that 76 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,600 not only are you going for it you've also got your own speech and language aren't you you've had 77 00:07:53,600 --> 00:08:01,040 referrals for that and he's doing why does it yeah something I saw on instagram very early on um 78 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:07,600 and I never say it sort of very well I never say it like she said it but it's basically she kind 79 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:14,000 of had a moment of just realizing this is our life this is our life forever you know we don't 80 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:19,440 know what the future holds there's going to be lots of sort of sad in our life but actually if 81 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:24,640 that if sadness is all I see that's all I'm going to have and there's plenty of sadness that you can 82 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:30,640 grab isn't there all the time you know and from little bits of sadness like Ethan breaks the phone 83 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:36,720 for a pastime and you know little things like that or you can just and obviously it's not this simple 84 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:41,040 but you can just try and kind of flip it a bit and think actually I could also grab the joy and 85 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:47,840 grab the positives as frequently as you're looking for the sadness and just I think trying to embrace 86 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:53,680 it and obviously that varies so much depending on if you're falling yourself or if you slept badly 87 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:58,720 the night before and obviously meds have had sticks in and out but support family support and the 88 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,880 support network you have around you whether you've got a partner or good friendship groups or 89 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:09,040 family I'm sure that makes must make a difference in your ability to manage and cope with those 90 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:15,920 initial years as well I'm sure yeah yeah and me and my partner um we run our own business so we 91 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:21,280 work from home primarily Ethan goes to a specialist nursery but only for sort of 11 hours a week so he 92 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:26,640 you know we drop him off and he's back he's back all day yeah because we work from home because 93 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:33,120 we're our own boss so with Ethan's AAC we can model that to him in the day in the privilege I suppose 94 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,200 isn't it yeah but some families don't have and I think it's worth acknowledging that as well 95 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:42,240 that some families don't don't have that privilege before I go on to talk about schools I'd love to 96 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:47,360 talk about talk about as we talk about early diagnosis the leaflets that you have created 97 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:51,600 because I think it is so powerful the fact that it has come from a parent and actually really 98 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:59,920 important it has come from so basically I designed the flyer that I needed 18 months ago and and my 99 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:06,320 my dream for it is it to be in the pediatrician's drawer to be in the health visitor's drawer you 100 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:11,680 know it's not for displaying it's not for putting on a poster book it's for if when the parent first 101 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:17,200 says I think my child is autistic and they're probably they might be crying they might be upset 102 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:22,720 they're going through a really hard time and say this this is what you need and on it so I've got 103 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:27,120 a version that's locally to where I live and a national version and there's sort of charities 104 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:32,400 to support there's some of my experience so something that I put on there is that you don't 105 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:39,680 need to learn everything on day one my personality is right I need to learn be an extra Macadam just 106 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:46,240 call AOC and I drove myself a bit kind of crazy and actually you are the expert on your child 107 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:53,200 and like some instagram accounts to follow some bits of advice like look when you're ready look 108 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:58,480 into objects of reference and total communication environment and just thought and things like that 109 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:04,480 and just giving people hopefully just a bit of hope and just a bit of support and I've got a 110 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:09,840 few accounts to follow on instagram so just go and see that there's other families like you 111 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:15,040 read that book do a little bit of research and just and it's kind of bright and colourful it's 112 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:20,880 almost sort of branding and just and I think it's accessible that people can read there and then 113 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:26,560 accessible hope yeah but yeah they're not alone and there is something they can do about it and 114 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:32,240 almost like so they don't have to go seeking for it and possibly finding maybe the wrong thing 115 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:39,440 potentially um because there are some odd practices out there it's almost like a this is okay like I'm 116 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:44,800 a parent too this is what helped me it might help you you're not alone it's a hug almost isn't it 117 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:50,000 yeah and I share on it and I don't think they do it anymore which is such a shame but Scope the 118 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:57,360 charity have like a navigator service um for for me 18 months ago and I spoke to this lady that she 119 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:04,720 had cerebral palsy her sister was autistic she understood and she just let me you know come at 120 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:09,760 it with everything I was feeling and all my advice and I've put that on there and I share on my account 121 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:16,320 that I go to therapy and I've been talking therapy so it's okay yeah that you need all this and it's 122 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:23,280 completely fine to ask for help and say actually I'm I'm struggling because the reality is that 123 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:32,000 being a parent of a disabled child means you have to fight often for help and ask for help that's 124 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:37,760 almost maybe the hardest bit is is coming to terms with I'm gonna need other people in my life to 125 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:42,720 help me bring up my child and maybe and that's maybe that's part of the grieving process as well 126 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,960 is you might think you're gonna be the parent that's sitting at the dining room table working 127 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:51,840 through their homework with their child and you could be that person and and actually I need other 128 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,480 professionals to help my child communicate with me and I need other professionals to help my child 129 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:01,120 be regulated and I guess that is part of the process is that professionals are going to be 130 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:07,120 in your life I suppose yeah and like with this sort of grieving process you know like as I said 131 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:13,200 I'm sort of um a lot better now but I remember one thing that always stood out for me is that I did a 132 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:18,560 music degree and I'm a singer so when I have a child will I'll teach them the piano and we'll 133 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:23,120 be singing like the greatest show but I'll do and whatever and then I remember when Ethan and this 134 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:27,920 is very stereotypical but when I found out Ethan was a boy I was like oh no I hope he likes singing 135 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:33,920 and and then obviously you know I now have enough because in your mind that would be the worst thing 136 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:42,720 yeah exactly and and then you know so I obviously I have that and you know there there are always 137 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:50,160 yeah it's sort of it's things now rather than kind of completely you know setting up camp there and 138 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:55,520 sort of living there but people call it grief people call it grief for a reason like you can 139 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:02,560 go through the stages of grief yeah in some way yeah and I'm also very aware that there's probably 140 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:08,240 triggers and grief and hard things that I haven't even thought about yet for the thing and I think 141 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:13,680 that's um you know for teachers at specialist schools and it's just and I'm sure you're you're 142 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:18,800 brilliant but and just kind of knowing that actually lots of the parents you meet are in this 143 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:25,520 space and actually you don't know what trigger they've had that day or what's kind of happened 144 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,920 or even what stage they're at in their coming to terms with their child and I think it's really 145 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:36,960 important to acknowledge that I've worked with some 14 year olds uh 10 years ago and whose parents 146 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:43,760 very much still one had not come to terms that their child was autistic and that was very very 147 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:51,840 made very very clear and yeah just don't assume I suppose just because their child isn't four or five 148 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:57,600 or three or even if they have only just if even if they were diagnosed 10 years ago don't necessarily 149 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:04,000 assume that they're at the same stage as you or other parents in your class I suppose as teacher 150 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:11,920 and parent yeah and and and their feelings not whatever they are definitely and like you know 151 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:16,640 I shared a lot on my account of like our fight that we had to get Ethan into specialist school 152 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:23,680 and we um one or whatever we got the specialist school name like on the deadline day but I also 153 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,480 have been very open with the fact that if we didn't get it and we had to go to tribunal 154 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:37,280 well we were already at peak stress peak illness peak site we've done everything you know I don't 155 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:44,240 know and obviously we would have downed everything to fight for Ethan but you know we both run our 156 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:48,960 own business that we might stop our business and yeah it comes at a cost a financial cost an 157 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:54,880 emotional cost a family relationship cost yeah it's huge yeah and then I probably wouldn't have done 158 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:59,520 my flyers you know I wouldn't be doing this account I wouldn't be asking others you know and I'm 159 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,400 obviously as you said every parent you meet is on a completely different journey a completely different 160 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:09,760 path and just never making assumptions of sort of where people are I suppose just like they say 161 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:16,400 every you meet one autistic child and you've met one autistic child you meet one parent of an 162 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:24,000 autistic child yeah met one parent it's as unique as the child is themselves why wouldn't it be why 163 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:31,200 wouldn't that be the case definitely I think maybe for teachers I think what from my point of view 164 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:35,280 because I've been doing it for 15 years I've worked with 400 autistic children I've kind of 165 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:43,040 become blind to the fact it's so normalized for me I've kind of become delusional in a way that 166 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:50,000 biting hitting chewing shaking flapping it's just part of my day and I don't think that's always 167 00:16:50,000 --> 00:17:00,800 helpful actually because sometimes it's so normalized that I forget that what a parent 168 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:06,000 might be out with that because it's new to them it's brand new it's scary and it's unknown and 169 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:11,440 it's they don't know what will happen next you know it's all those feelings and I find it really 170 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:16,640 hard to relate actually yes because I'm like oh that's great like I had a key a the other day 171 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,360 it's like I haven't ever changed a nappy I haven't ever changed a nappy and they looked terrified and 172 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:28,240 I was like what are you talking about like I told you today like what yeah and it's like I need to 173 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:34,320 remember that yeah I need to remember yeah that the average person hasn't changed a nappy of an 174 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:42,560 11 year old and and I need to guide them through that as if it as if it was the first time and 175 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,440 and I think sometimes I think that's a fault of mine I've kind of become disillusioned in a way 176 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,600 and I've kind of become blind to it because sometimes I go into mainstream classes or I hang 177 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:58,400 out with my nephews who know typical and I'm blown away because it's not my normal is my 178 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:07,840 what is normal anyway that is my normal that's my baseline yeah is that so sometimes I'm like oh wow 179 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,480 like I didn't expect that voice to come out with this little one or whatever because I'm just 180 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:18,640 I'm not used to it definitely but then it makes me helpful when parents of new 181 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:26,320 diaclosacals come to me because I just see this gorgeous child that to me would fit perfectly into 182 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:33,280 my class and are perfect and I struggle to relate on that I think it is good that you recognize that 183 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:38,320 in the first days that is helpful and then I guess you know you mentioned the sort of biting and the 184 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:43,360 scratching and things and and that's something that Ethan Tuckwood does a lot lot less of since 185 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:50,400 day C but obviously that's not very nice as a parent having that kind of as part of your day 186 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:56,800 to day and I can imagine that might be something that you've become a bit you know god they're 187 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,200 only little now like what about when they're I think there is a lot of fear for the future actually 188 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:08,320 and often in EHCP reviews and for those that don't know those within EHCP have a annual meeting 189 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:15,040 where the paperwork gets reviewed so there it includes social care stuff education stuff it's 190 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:20,000 basically a whole plan about everyone around that child and targets for them and what we're all 191 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,480 working on together and it's reviewed every year and it it makes up part of their budget and 192 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:31,040 schooling and everything isn't it taxis also it's all in there and usually the hardest question 193 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:39,760 to ask parents is what's your hope for the future for them and it always feels really heavy because 194 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:48,160 in the early days I think I think it's heavy because their hope is different they've got two 195 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:53,360 types of hope they've got maybe like unrealistic hope which they're still maybe clinging onto a 196 00:19:53,360 --> 00:20:00,240 little bit and then they've got realistic hope which is happy safe healthy loved as independent 197 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:09,360 as they can be they're often hit things I hear friends like equal relations yes I hear yeah I 198 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:14,880 hear lots of those things that's like demons I think yeah but I think in the back of their mind 199 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:20,880 I think why it feels so heavy and why it kind of cuts the air in the meeting is because actually 200 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:28,080 in the back of their mind their hopes are marriage relationships grandchildren you know living 201 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:35,200 independently having a job you know and I think and I've had conversation with a four-year-old 202 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:41,200 parents with four-year-olds and parents with a 19 year old and it still hurts it just seems to cut 203 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:47,440 that question it does cut the question but also it's as we said at the start you're just kind of 204 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:53,440 thrown into this world and actually you might not have even thought too far ahead by then but also 205 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:59,840 um for us and I think is the case for lots of other autistic children Ethan is sort of developing 206 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:04,720 all the time and changing all the time so you kind of make peace with one thing and then something 207 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:13,360 happened maybe he can do this and obviously you want to keep the full um sort of hope there 208 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:22,720 yeah and it's yeah and I always say with Ethan I've always said it but especially now he's got his 209 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:28,400 AAC and he's just flying with it that Ethan can do and I always use NASA as an example to somebody 210 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:34,320 but that Ethan could work anywhere and he can communicate via his AAC you know he could write 211 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:39,600 a novel on his AAC he can say everything he wants to he can do everything he wants to and we will 212 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:43,840 support him in any way you know he loves music and singing and stuff at the moment but we're 213 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:48,960 sort of waiting for that real special interest to pop up and we will kind of fly with it and how 214 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:55,600 interesting how interesting that he loves music and singing isn't that yeah exactly yeah yeah 215 00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:02,080 just wonderful yeah you can share that together through his AAC and through his joy of yeah yeah 216 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:10,560 he loves yeah he does love playing the piano um with his hands and by sitting on it and doing 217 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:15,280 all sorts of you know music and like his speech and language therapist has commented like when 218 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:21,680 we sing or she sings he just sort of stops in his tracks and he listens so yeah like I'm still I 219 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:28,000 haven't actually thought that I'm still getting that aren't I the music yeah yeah absolutely I 220 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:34,720 saw you adding loads of um like different songs and phrases to his AAC and and that's a shared 221 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:40,160 interest isn't it it's your is your singing and music yeah because it's obviously it's genetic 222 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:47,520 isn't it right it's because it's obviously around him in his home so that is important to you guys 223 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:55,680 as a family um that's really wonderful yeah yeah it is yeah which is great and I suppose every 224 00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:02,240 parent doesn't know what the future holds exactly it's just I think when your child is diagnosed 225 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:09,120 sometimes professionals almost like that pressure is put on you to think about it or to plan like 226 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:13,360 for example the benefit of being him going to a special school I can imagine is that he's there 227 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:22,000 till he is what 19 I think it's 18 18 yeah so that would I'm sure would have come as part of 228 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:28,240 the benefit because there's not as many transitions and you know they'll know him and it can be through 229 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:32,880 even all of those things like I can imagine that was part of the benefit and I feel like other 230 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:39,200 parents choosing an EYFS class for their children I was thinking about what happens when they're 18 231 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:46,880 yes yeah yeah yeah but like choosing a special school is such a was a difficult thing as well 232 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:52,880 because um you know a school we were moving house we were going out of county for the specialist 233 00:23:52,880 --> 00:24:00,880 school and they um rejected Ethan and said they couldn't meet his needs and they said he was too 234 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:07,440 sort of able to go there because we put on his ASC that he can count and he knows his colors and 235 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:14,240 he knows his numbers which is true um so then we were thinking you know obviously we have no idea 236 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:20,160 what we're doing so we're then thinking what is that role do we need to be looking at other 237 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,640 situations but then a specialist school that is the same as the school that rejected Ethan 238 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:30,080 said yes and welcomed him with open arms which is the one he's going to but there's just so much 239 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:38,080 don't know what the cohort is like if it's all comparative right like who says more or less 240 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:44,240 but yeah I guess it depends on like the rest of the group they're getting I suppose like would he 241 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,720 pick into the cohort that they've got and I guess that changes every year I guess it's just luck 242 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:53,120 a lot of the time exactly and obviously that shouldn't be but that's a whole different 243 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:59,360 conversation isn't it but um but yeah so then and I remember when I first started realizing 244 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:04,160 either I need a specialist school for some reason and I sort of don't know why I was doing it but I 245 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:11,200 think it was helping me I would always say but he can still do GCSEs he can still do GCSEs which I 246 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:18,320 assume is true in some um that isn't true in the the sort of time yeah because it was true in my 247 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:25,120 special profession I was in um 10 years ago I think I mean special education is amazing 248 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:32,640 because it's so individualized if a child um we did have a few if a child is making progress in 249 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,560 a subject and looks like they could get a qualification in it I don't know any school 250 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,960 that wouldn't just apply for that one child to do that qualification whether that's a dance 251 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:47,040 certificate whether that's a swim certificate whether that's a GCSE I've never worked in a school 252 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:53,600 that wouldn't even if it's just one child put them through an exam they feel like they would do 253 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:59,120 because well selfishly it makes the school look good but also on an individual level like I don't 254 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:04,960 understand why you would do it so even if they're not doing it now there is no reason like if your 255 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:12,080 child is ready for whatever it is that subject or whatever yeah and also I mean home school parents 256 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,680 can do it and put a child through that anyway so even if they don't you can and that's what I was 257 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:24,720 used to saying I don't know why I remember it but I remember this like 90 year old man on BBC News 258 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:31,120 had got his master's GCSE and he decided to do it like you can do anything we can do you know me and 259 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:37,200 my partner are both churn teachers and we left after a year but we can we can do that and that's 260 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:43,280 really great to kind of hear you say that and I know we discussed a bit just how you um work to 261 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:52,000 support kind of all the different needs and I think Ethan um you know on one hand he's he's 262 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:58,080 very high needs in terms of non-speaking he's very sensory seeking and he doesn't sit still and he's 263 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:03,840 kind of here there and everywhere but he can also you know he's also clever it sounds like his 264 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:10,560 mathematical understanding is actually pretty good he and he can read now we always used to say we 265 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:16,160 think Ethan can read and but actually since the day he started saying he can read because he's 266 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:22,240 fun that you you're not even modeling some words and yet he's squeezing them yeah like um he loves 267 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:27,120 Bing like Bing is his favorite thing in the whole world and common for guest out language 268 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:34,480 process yeah because he's so emotive isn't he Bing he seems to go through every situation that 269 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:41,360 actually matters to a child yeah yeah which is so yeah because my yeah the kids I work with the one 270 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:49,200 I've worked with today especially um speak through Bing um yeah he's still in a referral for an AAC 271 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:57,440 it's 11 okay but he I know but he works with a BBC iPlayer he talks through the iPlayer 272 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:05,360 and will find the right episode and will say like saw a throw yeah or lost hearted and it means he's 273 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:12,480 like looking for someone or whatever like how clever is that incredible yeah it's incredible 274 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:22,800 I always say that neurotypicals would absolutely flounder and fail in a neurodivergent based world 275 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:28,880 can you imagine yeah because it would be like we would have to talk through these things and find 276 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:37,040 things really quickly and skip learn and like yeah yeah yeah like the exact you know like you 277 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:42,640 can fast forward it times two or whatever and find it and he loves the camping episode where it goes 278 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:47,600 it's only Arlo Bing so that's on his AAC and we do actually have a black cat which looks a bit like 279 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:53,760 Arlo but um he found I think you have to hit like three or four buttons to get to camping on his AAC 280 00:28:53,760 --> 00:29:00,960 and he presses camping because he wants to watch that you know and yeah it's sort of being incredible 281 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:06,880 but um yeah knowing he can read so when we had the meeting with his new teacher it's something 282 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:12,320 that I wanted to ask and I'd really be interested to hear what you would say as well but just sort 283 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:19,280 of how they how the classing kind of sets up looks and if they know that sort of Ethan can count and 284 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:26,400 Ethan can read do they do you kind of set different activities sort of where does it sort of look 285 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:31,040 it's exactly that also in special it's kind of I do it for both because I've worked in a special 286 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,320 school and then now I've worked in a special class that's that's with the only class in the whole 287 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:42,720 school yeah so it looks kind of different so where I work now we've got age four to 11 and we've just 288 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:48,560 got one class of specialist provision and we're attached to a mainstream school so everybody of 289 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:55,040 all abilities is in that one class so we've had years with children working at just tracking 290 00:29:55,040 --> 00:30:00,560 something so like three months level in the same class as children taking their maths and english 291 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:07,520 sats year six sats in the same class so in that situation every single child has a completely 292 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:15,200 bespoke yes ips lesson plans lessons and you kind of do that I mean god we get experts at it you'll 293 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,960 just be really creative often special ed teachers are really creative because you just constantly 294 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,360 have to be outside the box yes in one group activity say we're building up a tower and 295 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:29,120 knocking it down one child will be doing a tally and making a graph as to what children knocked 296 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:34,800 what down or whatever or how long it they'd be timing it and then they'd make a graph over that 297 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:39,760 and the other child is is learning more yes so we're knocking down and they're asking for more 298 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,960 another child is learned practicing fine motor skills and building up 299 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,520 lots never toiled it's just giving fleeting attention and that's there yeah so it's really 300 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:54,480 okay you have to be so creative and just think like what does history look like for a child 301 00:30:54,480 --> 00:31:00,960 that's working at four months yes it looks like looking in a mirror because how do you know where 302 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:07,600 you come from until you know who you are so they're doing history with a mirror and and deep pressure 303 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:14,080 well the others are learning about i don't know nine figure girl and like the war that's kind 304 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:19,120 of insane what we do in my car yeah but that's that means we need so many adults so yeah we're 305 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:25,840 gonna say oh very high adult ratio um at that point when we had the three month cognitive and 306 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:31,440 the year six cognitive we were one to one plus teacher so we had more adults in the room than 307 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:37,600 children that's amazing huge luxury yeah now we have a little bit less because the the parameters 308 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:44,960 have closed in a little bit yeah so we actually just for a need of special ed provision we actually 309 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,680 there's no way you'll ever have a child that could do sats again i don't i don't think 310 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:54,160 in my mind just because they're such they'll always end up in in mainstream and we'll just 311 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:59,120 support them in their inclusion class yeah um just because of how things are going however in my 312 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:07,520 special education school it's the whole school so they can be really they can be much more specific 313 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:12,960 about levels yeah of children and you might find that in ethan's class there's a range of ages 314 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:19,200 there might be between three and four kind of years within one class but there'll be a similar 315 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:27,760 size a similar sensory seeking kind of stuff similar language skills similar maybe similar 316 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:37,040 interest they do try really hard to prepare children of ability over age often yeah so then 317 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:42,640 in my classes there there's still complete differentiation still because there's different 318 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:49,680 special interests there's different language skills ways of working ways of learning but it's 319 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:55,680 far less i would say than what i'm doing day to day so for example for reading it might be that 320 00:32:55,680 --> 00:33:02,000 maybe the class is split into three groups and even there's in the group that are using their 321 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:08,320 aac reading a book and they're matching the word yeah the book for example the other two groups in 322 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:14,160 his class one might be doing comprehension work if you're in a middle group and the others are 323 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,800 just doing the sensory story and it's more about the feeling of the textures and modeling rather 324 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:23,760 than that so yeah probably kind of like three little things going on rather than it being 325 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:29,680 a spoke for every student but that's always get anomalies yeah it might be even as anomaly in his 326 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,840 class and then he leaves something a little bit more spoke but the special education is that we 327 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:38,880 can do that yeah there's a reason why i'm a special education teacher and not and not mainstream is 328 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:43,280 because i know i can meet every child where they're at and that does feel like a luxury as a teacher 329 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,480 lots of parents sort of in my position you have a child going into special school 330 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:53,600 have probably had a negative experience sort of at mainstream nursery where you're so used 331 00:33:53,600 --> 00:34:00,000 to their needs not being met and they're not sort of being understood so like that sounds 332 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:05,680 incredible that you can just and ethan has a good ratio of sort of ta's to the teacher and to know 333 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:10,960 that they can truly support him and and go down whichever path he's going it's just so amazing 334 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:16,320 i think all i would say was i've known children that can do everything that ethan's doing at home 335 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,400 and and that's what the parents were saying like but they're doing they're having conversation 336 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,120 skills we're having two-way conversations at home and they're using all this language at home and 337 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,520 they're reading at home we weren't seeing it in school yeah i think something about the environment 338 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:35,280 the noise the light the other people just yeah yeah it's going to be something i mean they weren't 339 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,640 completely relaxed and comfortable they maybe didn't feel as safe whatever it was whatever it 340 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:45,760 was the parents did really well we couldn't we just weren't doing as well at so we weren't seeing 341 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:51,440 it so in that instance it's just really important that parent and teacher communication is really 342 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:57,360 strong yes and your relationship is really strong and then maybe like you add some of what he's doing 343 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:02,320 to his like evidence like i don't know if it's done through your ipad or photos or whatever 344 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,720 there'll be some way that you could kind of share that with him so that he's not held back yeah 345 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:12,320 because i've fallen track of that before if i haven't seen it i just assume and unless we 346 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:18,080 have a conversation about oh no they can do that they can do that yeah yeah i mean i suppose it's 347 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:23,680 also yes they can do that at home when they're regulated in their environment actually it would 348 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:31,760 be very unfair for me to expect that in the environment and i'm sure you know our house 349 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:37,600 is ethan's sort of century kingdom you know so he's heaven isn't it yeah so obviously he's 350 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:43,520 regulated he's comfortable he's happy um but that's why i've had such joy as well with him having his 351 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:49,360 aac and obviously i don't want to put loads of pressure on ethan to to go in and kind of prove 352 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:56,400 himself but just by having it and showing that he can kind of use it he can hopefully the judgment 353 00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:03,200 kind of will be different maybe in that they and i think with ethan um you know the teacher said i 354 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:09,600 think ethan will kind of keep um them on her toes a bit so for example they had elastic bands and 355 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,920 you can't quite see how it's going to work but round the taps to stop them turning on and ethan 356 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:19,360 just went up picked up something that looked like a cup went to the tap turned it on had a drink made 357 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:26,000 himself a drink and like he just cracks on just like and he's quite he's um he's only well he's 358 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:30,960 five in october but he's wearing like seven to eight clothes like he's gonna be tall and um tall 359 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:35,520 and strong and when we went to view his specialist nursery they kept trying to hide i think it was 360 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:39,760 like a tea towel or something but kept trying to hide it from ethan and towards the end he was 361 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:45,760 pretty much stood on the chair on top of a table to get this ethan and obviously he might in the 362 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:52,240 future but um the sort of masking side of things um ethan doesn't really do kind of currently he 363 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:59,440 just goes in full steam ahead as he so sure yeah and i think and obviously you know time will tell 364 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:05,680 but i do think ethan is ready for school now um you know and he wants things to do yeah and i feel 365 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:11,760 like the same happens in year six actually you kind of know when they're ready for the next thing 366 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:16,720 or whatever or the next age or the next stage or whatever you kind of feel it yeah definitely 367 00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:20,640 that's really great that he's ready for school like the next challenge i suppose to really 368 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:25,840 to to test out in the in out in the world everything you learn at home we've had the 369 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:30,640 sort of transition days and we've got one more coming but he's pretty much going um you know 370 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:35,520 nine till three right from the start because actually if we picked him up some lunchtime 371 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:40,880 the first week he'd always want to be picked up from lunchtime then and i think and we know as 372 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:45,120 ethan's parents we're also sort of walking distance to his festive school which again it 373 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:51,920 is lucky so we know that he's there but we can be there in 10 minutes but yeah i do talk to 374 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:57,440 him but i really do think i'm like a really great transition as well which is really good isn't it 375 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:08,720 yeah because we don't you know and then i suppose that looks like a six week break isn't it just 376 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:15,360 keeping those like that like looking at photos and whatever you've taken yeah we can drive past it 377 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:21,280 and kind of point it out and we've added um the school like to his aac so you can sort of press 378 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:28,640 that and stuff um have you got any other questions or like you're just wondering about how things work 379 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:35,760 yeah one thing i wonder was just sort of how long and this is potentially sort of how long is a piece 380 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:43,040 of steering question but how long do you say it takes for you to truly kind of understand the child 381 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:48,160 that has joined your class in september and obviously they change you know even changes 382 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:55,440 in front of our eyes sometimes yeah what do you think shorter the more information parents give 383 00:38:55,440 --> 00:39:03,280 us because if we don't know their special interests their favorite toys what certain phrases mean what 384 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:08,720 certain what triggers it takes a hell of a longer because we spend all those first weeks just learning 385 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:14,000 that so if if the transition has been successful and parents communication is really successful 386 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:19,440 we already know what makes them happy what makes them anxious what triggers are we can start then 387 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:24,880 from the next step because sometimes that takes two or three weeks yeah then we can spend actually 388 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:32,160 usually two or three weeks with intensive interaction learning their stims they'll very 389 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:37,040 quickly tell us what they enjoy doing because they'll be showing us and we can use those as an 390 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:44,720 opportunity to connect with them motivate them build into lessons that kind of thing so i'd say 391 00:39:44,720 --> 00:39:53,680 two or three weeks usually that is way way shorter if we've got a good solid two-way communication 392 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:59,360 with parents and even like if you're given like home school communication books ever that's done 393 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:07,040 through email or written or whatever it's really great if that's used and even if you're like oh 394 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:12,320 we didn't do anything over there we'll send like just say because they might not be able to tell us 395 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:19,360 as full as you can even if they can use their aac and it's a great opportunity for us to initiate 396 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:24,320 conversation even if you can send photos that would be awesome like just anything that we can 397 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:30,640 get to know the child and let them know that we're late because usually typically they like home 398 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:36,400 separate school separate and actually it's quite nice to play the line sometimes and show them 399 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:41,120 you know this is important to us too like we want to know that you've got a new puppy or 400 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,840 or that you're got kittens or whatever and i know that's another thing i love about special ed 401 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:50,960 school actually is that you can ask any mainstream teacher and they will be able to tell you what 402 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:59,760 level the child is at as in like academic level i can't but i can tell you what their cat is called 403 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:05,360 what their siblings are called when their birthday is you know what their dad's football favorite 404 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:12,320 football team is to me yeah and that i'm very proud of that yeah and that's lovely and that 405 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:20,240 matters so much like to me as a parent and you know knowing that you genuinely care about my son 406 00:41:20,240 --> 00:41:25,520 and you care about all the what his hobbies are and what he loves but you also care about his 407 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:31,680 learning and communicating with us because i think as a parent when you've been so used to kind of 408 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:37,360 fighting for kind of every service and whatever you know and you're used to being sort of that 409 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:41,520 parent sort of thing that's and i think actually it's nice to hear that actually once you've 410 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:47,040 hopefully done lots of the fighting you can just kind of settle a bit and be like actually i'm not 411 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:52,400 being that parent by talking to the teacher it's just we also never mind that parent exactly 412 00:41:52,400 --> 00:42:00,000 because we also acknowledge the fight that has had to come yeah and that is absolutely understandable 413 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:05,040 and it's and we are also i hope well i am anyway i suppose i can't speak to everybody i'm absolutely 414 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:11,600 okay and i do say this to parents being like actually we don't use that word anymore like 415 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:16,320 the other day for example i was talking to a parent at the gate and i said learning difficulty 416 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:19,600 like it just came out of my mouth and she was like it's not difficulty it's learning disability 417 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:25,680 i said of course yeah of course i never mind that please please keep saying that please keep us 418 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,840 learning and being educated because like you said at the beginning and you said it so perfectly 419 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:34,640 you are an expert of your own child so yes we might have worked with this many children this 420 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:40,800 many professionals we're not an expert of your child like absolutely tell us yeah absolutely 421 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:48,800 educate us all please yeah thank you so much to learn isn't there all the time things are so like 422 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:55,520 ethan's aac i think especially school he's going to you know they hadn't seen an aac um so i kind 423 00:42:55,520 --> 00:43:01,360 of have made sure it's gone with into every same thing because i want it to be ethan comes with his 424 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:07,360 aac and that's it has to and we've seen some wonderful things of like ethan um he loves bub 425 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:12,560 eye from being it's a bub eye box oh yeah the bye bye box oh my goodness yeah why don't the 426 00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:18,400 bye bye box he's going to bye bye and he so he can say bye bye when we leave and to see that as a 427 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:25,760 parent of a non-speaking child to see my child say bye bye and then for people to look at ethan 428 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:34,240 instead of me and actually say yeah and say bye to ethan you know and it's just given him um 429 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:39,680 um given him a voice to kind of take with him which is just so brilliant but um i've just seen 430 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:45,680 a message from a parent whose pupil is actually starting in my class in september and they've said 431 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:52,720 um should i write a list to tell you guys about my child so yes i send home and this is relevant 432 00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:58,400 for everybody i send home a happiness audit it's on my google drive but anyone that wants it i'll 433 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:03,760 send it to you and it's basically a what makes your child happy audit it's the first thing we 434 00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:09,600 give so it's what sensory experiences make your children happy what foods make your children happy 435 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:14,960 what environments make your children happy what people make your children happy what you know 436 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:21,440 just what does heaven look like for your child because then we can refer to that you know if we 437 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:27,760 want to support a child coming in from the car or i don't know anything anything throughout the day 438 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:32,880 we can look at the happiness audit and think oh yeah actually this environment is not ideal for 439 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:38,640 them let's dim the lights let's put on rock music whatever it is that makes them happy it just might 440 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:43,760 help it just gives us a clue so for this one parent you're lucky enough to have these 441 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:54,080 from that um like from the perspective of a parent to know that you do that and again that 442 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:58,320 you genuinely care and are going to be supporting them with what makes them happy that is just so 443 00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:06,560 incredible to hear um so brilliant yeah it's currency happiness is currency in the specialist 444 00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:11,680 class like how can i assume that a child like Ethan will want to join our group area if it's 445 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:17,280 not motivating to him and doesn't doesn't hit those buttons you know whereas if it would be 446 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:23,280 as easy enough and be like oh okay three of our kids like tax yeah okay awesome i'm gonna pick 447 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:29,920 a story the first week about yeah like it's so easy once exactly and like ethan loves um one two 448 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:34,480 three four five once they caught a fisher and at the moment like he loves counting it and doing it 449 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:38,880 all on his aoc and like if we told you that and you could think you could meet ethan and you could 450 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:45,520 that could be the song you sing exactly that exactly that or like when we picked the music song 451 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:51,120 we can because we do choice boards we can just make sure that's an option because without knowing 452 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:56,480 that that was his favorite song we might even not have that as an option and then even if he could 453 00:45:56,480 --> 00:46:02,640 understand the choice board or whatever we're limiting here so the more we know the more 454 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:08,320 opportunities the better and going back to your question of how long does it take to get to know 455 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:15,120 a child the more we know we can build those connections that trust yeah and that did surprise 456 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:20,480 me how quickly you said but but that's amazing and obviously you're with them for such a long 457 00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:26,240 period of time in a day and that's the job is to get to know them like those first weeks are 458 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:32,880 literally that is what we do it is building trust yeah it's a lot of intensive interaction just to 459 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:38,240 start building that trust yeah share some language and getting them to know the class you know within 460 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:44,240 within their own not but trying to stretch them too far it's a real it's a real weird balance 461 00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:50,080 yeah especially when you've got them all doing it at once yeah don't think that sending him in 462 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:54,880 with four eight four pages of handwritten information about him is too much if you can't 463 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:59,840 do that don't that's fine if you want to don't think oh my god i'm that parent please don't 464 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:05,520 because i've got too much information than not at all and even if i can't read it that first 465 00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:10,400 day it's a bit hectic yeah if it's in front of his book stapled in there at least we can refer to it 466 00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:18,080 definitely that one more question i was going to ask actually that's okay yeah of course 467 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:22,480 which just sort of what we can is there anything we can do kind of during the summer 468 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:26,800 so for all the parents who have their children's at especially school to just kind of support 469 00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:31,760 ethan a little bit so we know i think on one of his goals it's to sort of um be able to put 470 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:38,880 his coat on and off okay is that kind of useful to do with him or depends on like some of them 471 00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:44,160 might give you specific goals like some of them still have a specific thing i would say just really 472 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:50,960 focus on the transition photos or videos that you've got so if when next time you visit video him 473 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:54,880 in the space in the classroom if you're allowed to yeah or at least take photos of the adults and 474 00:47:54,880 --> 00:48:00,320 key workers he's working with the entrance door like really important like steps of how he's going 475 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:07,520 to get there i think probably the most important thing because your job is to get him through the 476 00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:12,000 door and that's sometimes harder i mean it sounds like nathan did brilliantly but for some parents 477 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:18,320 sometimes just getting them into the car dressed in a different uniform there was so much i think 478 00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:25,120 focus on that focus on practicing uniform wearing on and off no pressure new shoes practice wearing 479 00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,560 new shoes because sometimes they're a bit hard and horrible aren't they so wearing new shoes 480 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:34,320 without any pressure of going in yeah make it a bit of a fun game maybe practice the car journey 481 00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:39,280 parking in the car park and then going home again you know all those things actually that's probably 482 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:44,720 that's probably the most important thing because your job ends at the gate and then we over summer 483 00:48:44,720 --> 00:48:50,640 we are thinking about from the gate right okay what's learning gonna look like of course but if 484 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:59,360 you can get them to the gate on time like wearing their uniform whatever it is yes that is awesome 485 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:06,480 that is awesome okay and it's so good to hear you saying that our job ends and then you take over 486 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:11,360 so i think you know for us we've had a really funny kind of child care history of like 487 00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:16,560 nursing not meeting his needs and so so to just know that he's going to be somewhere where he's 488 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:23,600 fully supported he's understood he's accepted and his happiness is the main goal you know just so 489 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:28,800 brilliant to just be looking forward to that and just sending him kind of safely sort of on his way 490 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:35,680 and the more the more prepped he is the less anxious he'll feel and the better day he'll have 491 00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:40,640 yeah and if there are if you've practiced over the summer and you're really concerned about 492 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,480 i don't know like i've heard some awful things like some schools making children wear 493 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:50,880 shirts and ties and i don't know specific things like some schools do like it is okay as a parent 494 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:55,680 to voice your concerns because you again you're the expert of your child if you feel like them 495 00:49:55,680 --> 00:50:02,640 wearing a shirt is going to hinder them from even entering the building in my mind that's exclusion 496 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:10,400 and it's absolutely okay to voice that and to keep fighting for that for me i'm happy well my head 497 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:15,200 teacher hopefully isn't watching i'm happy a kid's up in their pajamas i couldn't get careless if 498 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:20,400 they're through the gate and they're happy and regulated i'll work with it yeah that's well 499 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:27,120 but but i think i think probably as a parent i probably expect special schools to be a bit more 500 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:33,200 lenient with that but as you said if there's ones that are kind of yeah not always it's no not always 501 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:39,920 sometimes it's we want we want children sometimes it helps having uniform because then they know 502 00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:44,080 it's a school day or a home day you know like for some children it's actually very important 503 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:49,120 so often we kind of go for a mixture of we have a white t-shirt rather than a white shirt and they 504 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:54,240 wear the school jumper and they wear jogging bottoms like that kind of thing is quite typical 505 00:50:54,240 --> 00:51:00,480 in our class and they are part of the school they've got the logo but it's a little bit yeah but 506 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:05,920 i mean that's it's so school it really is school specific yeah some other schools wouldn't but but 507 00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:11,120 also if your gut feeling says that that is hindering your child from entering the building i would say 508 00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:17,440 that's that's probably that's an easy fix isn't it come on yeah um yeah yeah but maybe that says 509 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:24,320 more about me than well no if you can't get past that with the school it's it would be a lot of 510 00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:32,720 it would be a red flag wouldn't it yeah definitely definitely um yeah so then if you guys follow 511 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:40,560 spinning world of autism um then and then reach out well one follow because it's such a joy 512 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:45,520 to watch ethan's journey and i'm so pleased that i started following like from the start of his 513 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:50,160 schooling because i just know that in 10 years time i'm like oh do you remember when he started 514 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:56,080 school yeah i know it's definitely so nice to be at this end of the journey yeah because i love 515 00:51:56,080 --> 00:52:00,240 either i followed lots of parents as well and some of them they're teenagers or whatever like 516 00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:04,320 i look back at folks and they come so far it's really lovely to like follow it with you and 517 00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:10,000 you're so open and honest about your journey and yeah you're so encouraging supporting so positive 518 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:15,040 you're such a light i think um for teachers as well as parents actually i know you you probably 519 00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:19,280 have a lot of parents on your thing but i find it really useful as a teacher to be a better 520 00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:26,960 advocate a better support for my parents so thank you for that i think there'll be parents watching 521 00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:34,480 this and parents eating your feed this is such a comfort to know that they are not alone it's 522 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:39,520 so important and cannot be overlooked so thank you so much for putting yourself out there everybody 523 00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:46,720 go and follow uh spinning world of autism and your journey you're doing such great work thank you 524 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:52,800 wow so lovely to finally we've been captured isn't it yeah we're fairly locally thanks 525 00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:57,520 to you yeah we are we we will be in person once because we aren't that far away 526 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:05,360 because i'm far away from everyone else but not too far from you no exactly exactly that would be 527 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:19,120 great thank you so much laura