Emotional bites. It's not therapy. It's a conversation.
You know, it's funny how often we talk about positive vibes and wanting to feel more positive.
Yeah, it's like positive is this buzzword we throw around.
Totally. But have we ever really stopped to think about what that means?
Like what makes an emotion truly positive in the first place?
It's a great question and honestly it's way more complex than just like feeling good.
You know psychologists actually study this and they look at these things called appraisals.
Appraisals.
Yeah, basically it's how our minds super quickly size up a situation,
you know, make a snap judgment and those appraisals, they're what shape how we react emotionally to
something whether we see it as positive, negative or somewhere in between.
So it's not just about what's actually happening, it's about how our own minds interpret it.
Exactly. Like picture this. You're at a party and a friend you haven't seen in ages walks in.
Okay, I can see where you're going with this.
Right. That same exact event them arriving could be appraised totally differently by different people.
You might be over the moon but someone else at that party,
maybe they had a falling out with that friend, they might be totally dreading this.
Makes total sense. But what is it that actually makes one person see that friends arrival as a
good thing, a positive thing and another person see it negatively? I mean how do these appraisals
actually work?
Well researchers have found a few key parts of these appraisals that really make a difference in
how positive or negative an emotion feels and one of the big ones is pleasantness.
Okay, that one seems kind of obvious.
It is. It's basically just how much joy, contentment, satisfaction and event brings us like
right then and there in the moment.
So in your party example, if someone feels this rush of happy excitement when they see their friend
that would be high pleasantness and bam positive feeling.
You got it. But what about situations that aren't inherently like cheerful? What about when things
are a bit more ambiguous?
Right, because life isn't always a party.
For sure and that's where these other dimensions come in like take certainty for instance.
Guarantee.
It's all about how clear and predictable we feel a situation is.
Basically we tend to have more positive emotions when we feel confident we understand what's
going on.
Because uncertainty, well that can lead to anxiety stress.
Exactly, it throws a wrench in those appraisals.
You know it reminds me of that consumer behavior study we were looking at, the one about projection
bias and the hungry shopper.
Oh right, the one where if you're starving you end up buying way more groceries than you planned.
That's the one. Our current state like being super hungry it can really warp our judgment.
Because suddenly that certainty of having enough food it feels really important.
Exactly. When we're hungry our brains crave that certainty of having enough food so in that moment
buying more food even if it's not the most logical choice it feels positive.
So basically our emotions are always perfectly logical.
They're being pulled by these like deeper needs we have like the need to feel certain about our
surroundings.
Right and it shows that positive isn't just about you know feeling happy or content on the
surface it's about how our brains are interpreting a situation based on all these different factors.
How pleasant it is, how much certainty we have about it.
And speaking of those other factors there's that third dimension you mentioned.
Relevance.
Yeah.
Tell me more about that.
Like how do our own personal values play into all this?
Yeah, relevance that was huge.
It's all about how much something really matters to us personally.
Like how much it lines up with our values.
Those big guiding principles that kind of shape our choices and make us who we are you know.
So someone who's super into adventure they might get a huge kick out of like skydiving.
Even if it's terrifying for someone else.
Totally. Our values are like this lens we see the world through.
And if an experience fits with those values boom it's way more likely to trigger those positive
appraisals we've been talking about.
The pleasantness, the certainty and yeah the relevance all come together.
So it's like our values give us this roadmap to what we find rewarding on an emotional level.
But how do we even figure out what our values are?
Man that's a question people have been wrestling with forever.
Philosophers, psychologists, the whole gang.
But one way to think about it is what gives you that sense of purpose?
Like what makes you feel like your life has meaning?
What are you doing when you feel most alive, most energized?
Those answers they can give you some hints about your core values.
So if we can understand those values then we can like aim for more positive experiences in our
lives. Yeah.
By making choices that line up with what already feels meaningful to us.
100%. But it's not just about you know going on some big adventure or chasing those peak
experiences, it's also about how we find meaning in those regular everyday moment.
Making meaning, huh?
Yeah.
What does that look like in practice?
It's about those little connections we make between our values and the things we're doing,
even the simple stuff.
Like say someone's really big on creativity, right?
They might find cooking a really satisfying activity even if it's just dinner for one.
Because it lets them be creative, tap into that value even in a small way.
So it's not always these big splashy things. Positivity can be about those small
everyday wins where we connect with what really matters to us.
Absolutely. And you know this is actually where certainty comes back into play in a really
interesting way.
Oh, okay. I'm intrigued. How does certainty tie into finding meaning in the everyday?
Well think about it like this. When we feel uncertain about what's around us, our minds kind of
narrow their focus. Like we go into this problem solving mode.
It's all about minimizing threats, staying safe.
Right. It's like our inner caveman just taking over.
Ha-ha. Exactly. And look, that instinct to survive, super useful when there's real danger.
But if it's always switched on, we miss out on so much, can actually stop us from fully
experiencing the world and connecting with those deeper sources of meaning.
Because we're so busy looking out for danger, we miss the beauty, the joy of what's right in front of us.
Exactly. But when we have that certainty, when our basic needs are met
and we feel safe and secure, our minds open up, we're more likely to explore, be creative, connect
with people and really savor those moments that line up with our values.
So it's like certainty lays the groundwork for us to tap into those deeper levels of meaning and find
that true lasting positivity.
That's a really beautiful way to put it. It's not that uncertainty equals zero positivity,
but it definitely adds a layer of difficulty. Like when we're dealing with a lot of uncertainty,
those positive emotions, they might be harder to reach, less intense, or maybe they don't last as long.
But when we build that sense of safety and stability in our lives, it's like we're creating
the perfect conditions for those positive emotions to really thrive.
This is so insightful. It's like we've been given this whole new understanding of how our emotions work.
Knowing about these dimensions, pleasantness, certainty, relevance, it's like having a superpower
we can use to navigate all the ups and downs life throws at us.
It's almost like we've been handed this toolkit for understanding and even building our own positivity.
I like that. And just like any tool, knowing how to use these different dimensions,
the pleasantness, the certainty, the relevance, it can make a huge difference.
Okay, so how do we actually use this stuff in our everyday lives?
It's one thing to talk about these ideas, but how do we actually put them into practice?
A million dollar question, right? Well, I think a good first step is just paying attention.
Like really noticing those moments when you feel that little surge of positivity.
What's going on around you? What are you doing? Who are you with?
What needs are being met in that moment?
That's a good point. We don't always stop and think about why we're feeling good, you know?
Exactly. But when we start to consciously notice those moments, we can start to see some patterns.
Maybe you realize that being out in nature always leaves you feeling more energized and happy,
or maybe it's connecting with people you love, sharing a meal, that really fills you up.
And once you start to see those patterns, you can be intentional about bringing more of those
things into your life. So it's about making choices that line up with what we've learned about,
like our own personal recipe for positivity. Exactly. And remember, it's not just about
chasing those big, exciting, happy moments. Don't underestimate the power of finding meaning in the
simple things, the everyday stuff. Like how can you connect those everyday tasks, even the ones you
don't love, to your values? Can you find ways to be creative to connect with people, even when you're busy?
This has been such an eye-opening conversation. I feel like we've gone way beyond just like
surface level, good vibes, and really gotten to the heart of what makes a life feel truly meaningful.
It's been great digging into all this with you. And remember, positive, it's not some finish line
you cross. It's a journey. And it's always changing, evolving as we learn and grow. But by
understanding these appraisal dimensions, by connecting with our values, by building that
sense of certainty and meaning in our lives, we can navigate that journey with more awareness,
more intention, and yeah, ultimately more joy. And on that note, we'll wrap up this deep dive
into the fascinating world of positivity. We hope you found these insights as useful and
thought provoking as we have. Thanks for listening.