1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,840 Emotional bites. It's not therapy. It's a conversation. 2 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:26,800 You know, it's funny how often we talk about positive vibes and wanting to feel more positive. 3 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,920 Yeah, it's like positive is this buzzword we throw around. 4 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,960 Totally. But have we ever really stopped to think about what that means? 5 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,520 Like what makes an emotion truly positive in the first place? 6 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:45,600 It's a great question and honestly it's way more complex than just like feeling good. 7 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,280 You know psychologists actually study this and they look at these things called appraisals. 8 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:49,840 Appraisals. 9 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,920 Yeah, basically it's how our minds super quickly size up a situation, 10 00:00:53,920 --> 00:01:00,240 you know, make a snap judgment and those appraisals, they're what shape how we react emotionally to 11 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,160 something whether we see it as positive, negative or somewhere in between. 12 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:08,800 So it's not just about what's actually happening, it's about how our own minds interpret it. 13 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:13,680 Exactly. Like picture this. You're at a party and a friend you haven't seen in ages walks in. 14 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,360 Okay, I can see where you're going with this. 15 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:22,160 Right. That same exact event them arriving could be appraised totally differently by different people. 16 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,360 You might be over the moon but someone else at that party, 17 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,640 maybe they had a falling out with that friend, they might be totally dreading this. 18 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:34,320 Makes total sense. But what is it that actually makes one person see that friends arrival as a 19 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:39,520 good thing, a positive thing and another person see it negatively? I mean how do these appraisals 20 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,480 actually work? 21 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,800 Well researchers have found a few key parts of these appraisals that really make a difference in 22 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:51,360 how positive or negative an emotion feels and one of the big ones is pleasantness. 23 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,800 Okay, that one seems kind of obvious. 24 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:58,480 It is. It's basically just how much joy, contentment, satisfaction and event brings us like 25 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,160 right then and there in the moment. 26 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:05,920 So in your party example, if someone feels this rush of happy excitement when they see their friend 27 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,640 that would be high pleasantness and bam positive feeling. 28 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:14,400 You got it. But what about situations that aren't inherently like cheerful? What about when things 29 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,480 are a bit more ambiguous? 30 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,720 Right, because life isn't always a party. 31 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,560 For sure and that's where these other dimensions come in like take certainty for instance. 32 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,120 Guarantee. 33 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,960 It's all about how clear and predictable we feel a situation is. 34 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:32,320 Basically we tend to have more positive emotions when we feel confident we understand what's 35 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:32,960 going on. 36 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:37,440 Because uncertainty, well that can lead to anxiety stress. 37 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,000 Exactly, it throws a wrench in those appraisals. 38 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:44,720 You know it reminds me of that consumer behavior study we were looking at, the one about projection 39 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,880 bias and the hungry shopper. 40 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:53,280 Oh right, the one where if you're starving you end up buying way more groceries than you planned. 41 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:58,560 That's the one. Our current state like being super hungry it can really warp our judgment. 42 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,160 Because suddenly that certainty of having enough food it feels really important. 43 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:07,760 Exactly. When we're hungry our brains crave that certainty of having enough food so in that moment 44 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:12,240 buying more food even if it's not the most logical choice it feels positive. 45 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,840 So basically our emotions are always perfectly logical. 46 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:20,800 They're being pulled by these like deeper needs we have like the need to feel certain about our 47 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:21,760 surroundings. 48 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:27,280 Right and it shows that positive isn't just about you know feeling happy or content on the 49 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:32,720 surface it's about how our brains are interpreting a situation based on all these different factors. 50 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,120 How pleasant it is, how much certainty we have about it. 51 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,960 And speaking of those other factors there's that third dimension you mentioned. 52 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,320 Relevance. 53 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:40,720 Yeah. 54 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,600 Tell me more about that. 55 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,240 Like how do our own personal values play into all this? 56 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,160 Yeah, relevance that was huge. 57 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,600 It's all about how much something really matters to us personally. 58 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,680 Like how much it lines up with our values. 59 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:56,720 Those big guiding principles that kind of shape our choices and make us who we are you know. 60 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:01,200 So someone who's super into adventure they might get a huge kick out of like skydiving. 61 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,760 Even if it's terrifying for someone else. 62 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,840 Totally. Our values are like this lens we see the world through. 63 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:12,640 And if an experience fits with those values boom it's way more likely to trigger those positive 64 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,400 appraisals we've been talking about. 65 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,240 The pleasantness, the certainty and yeah the relevance all come together. 66 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:23,280 So it's like our values give us this roadmap to what we find rewarding on an emotional level. 67 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,760 But how do we even figure out what our values are? 68 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,320 Man that's a question people have been wrestling with forever. 69 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,880 Philosophers, psychologists, the whole gang. 70 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,320 But one way to think about it is what gives you that sense of purpose? 71 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,800 Like what makes you feel like your life has meaning? 72 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,000 What are you doing when you feel most alive, most energized? 73 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,400 Those answers they can give you some hints about your core values. 74 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:50,720 So if we can understand those values then we can like aim for more positive experiences in our 75 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,600 lives. Yeah. 76 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,840 By making choices that line up with what already feels meaningful to us. 77 00:04:55,840 --> 00:05:01,120 100%. But it's not just about you know going on some big adventure or chasing those peak 78 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:07,040 experiences, it's also about how we find meaning in those regular everyday moment. 79 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,400 Making meaning, huh? 80 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:08,640 Yeah. 81 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,080 What does that look like in practice? 82 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:14,240 It's about those little connections we make between our values and the things we're doing, 83 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,680 even the simple stuff. 84 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,800 Like say someone's really big on creativity, right? 85 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:23,280 They might find cooking a really satisfying activity even if it's just dinner for one. 86 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:27,200 Because it lets them be creative, tap into that value even in a small way. 87 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,200 So it's not always these big splashy things. Positivity can be about those small 88 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,520 everyday wins where we connect with what really matters to us. 89 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:40,080 Absolutely. And you know this is actually where certainty comes back into play in a really 90 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:40,800 interesting way. 91 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:46,640 Oh, okay. I'm intrigued. How does certainty tie into finding meaning in the everyday? 92 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:52,000 Well think about it like this. When we feel uncertain about what's around us, our minds kind of 93 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,600 narrow their focus. Like we go into this problem solving mode. 94 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,800 It's all about minimizing threats, staying safe. 95 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,880 Right. It's like our inner caveman just taking over. 96 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:06,480 Ha-ha. Exactly. And look, that instinct to survive, super useful when there's real danger. 97 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,880 But if it's always switched on, we miss out on so much, can actually stop us from fully 98 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,720 experiencing the world and connecting with those deeper sources of meaning. 99 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:20,480 Because we're so busy looking out for danger, we miss the beauty, the joy of what's right in front of us. 100 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,880 Exactly. But when we have that certainty, when our basic needs are met 101 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:30,880 and we feel safe and secure, our minds open up, we're more likely to explore, be creative, connect 102 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:35,440 with people and really savor those moments that line up with our values. 103 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:40,480 So it's like certainty lays the groundwork for us to tap into those deeper levels of meaning and find 104 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,760 that true lasting positivity. 105 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:48,960 That's a really beautiful way to put it. It's not that uncertainty equals zero positivity, 106 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,600 but it definitely adds a layer of difficulty. Like when we're dealing with a lot of uncertainty, 107 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:58,800 those positive emotions, they might be harder to reach, less intense, or maybe they don't last as long. 108 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,640 But when we build that sense of safety and stability in our lives, it's like we're creating 109 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,920 the perfect conditions for those positive emotions to really thrive. 110 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:10,560 This is so insightful. It's like we've been given this whole new understanding of how our emotions work. 111 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:16,240 Knowing about these dimensions, pleasantness, certainty, relevance, it's like having a superpower 112 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,160 we can use to navigate all the ups and downs life throws at us. 113 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:25,840 It's almost like we've been handed this toolkit for understanding and even building our own positivity. 114 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:30,960 I like that. And just like any tool, knowing how to use these different dimensions, 115 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:36,480 the pleasantness, the certainty, the relevance, it can make a huge difference. 116 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:40,560 Okay, so how do we actually use this stuff in our everyday lives? 117 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,200 It's one thing to talk about these ideas, but how do we actually put them into practice? 118 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:50,400 A million dollar question, right? Well, I think a good first step is just paying attention. 119 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:55,360 Like really noticing those moments when you feel that little surge of positivity. 120 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,400 What's going on around you? What are you doing? Who are you with? 121 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,240 What needs are being met in that moment? 122 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,680 That's a good point. We don't always stop and think about why we're feeling good, you know? 123 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:08,880 Exactly. But when we start to consciously notice those moments, we can start to see some patterns. 124 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:14,480 Maybe you realize that being out in nature always leaves you feeling more energized and happy, 125 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,640 or maybe it's connecting with people you love, sharing a meal, that really fills you up. 126 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,640 And once you start to see those patterns, you can be intentional about bringing more of those 127 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:26,880 things into your life. So it's about making choices that line up with what we've learned about, 128 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:32,480 like our own personal recipe for positivity. Exactly. And remember, it's not just about 129 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:38,320 chasing those big, exciting, happy moments. Don't underestimate the power of finding meaning in the 130 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:43,440 simple things, the everyday stuff. Like how can you connect those everyday tasks, even the ones you 131 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:49,440 don't love, to your values? Can you find ways to be creative to connect with people, even when you're busy? 132 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,360 This has been such an eye-opening conversation. I feel like we've gone way beyond just like 133 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:59,920 surface level, good vibes, and really gotten to the heart of what makes a life feel truly meaningful. 134 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:04,400 It's been great digging into all this with you. And remember, positive, it's not some finish line 135 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:09,760 you cross. It's a journey. And it's always changing, evolving as we learn and grow. But by 136 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:14,320 understanding these appraisal dimensions, by connecting with our values, by building that 137 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,880 sense of certainty and meaning in our lives, we can navigate that journey with more awareness, 138 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:24,160 more intention, and yeah, ultimately more joy. And on that note, we'll wrap up this deep dive 139 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:28,640 into the fascinating world of positivity. We hope you found these insights as useful and 140 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:44,560 thought provoking as we have. Thanks for listening.