1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,680 Emotional bites opening the kimono on all your deepest emotions 2 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:26,160 Hey everyone and welcome ready to dive deep today, we're tackling emotions, but like 3 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:33,720 Really breaking them down with this thing called the component process model. It's uh, it's got a lot of moving parts 16 to be precise 4 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:39,640 16 emotional filters you could say each one kind of colors how we experience the world so the good news is 5 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:45,760 These 16 secs they're grouped into four main categories. Okay, that's better. Yeah, and first up 6 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,200 We've got relevance 7 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:54,320 Relevance basically your brain's asking how important is this thing to me right here right now? 8 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,800 So then the second category we've got implications 9 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:05,160 Implications, okay, this is where your brain starts playing that what if game. Okay, what if this happens? Okay, what does this event? 10 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,640 Mean for my goals both right now and in the future 11 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,800 So it's not just about what's happening right now, but like the long game 12 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:18,080 Exactly you got it your brain's thinking did I cause this? Okay, which is all about agency, right? Right? 13 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:24,960 So that's like can I control it's happening so that's controllability roll. Yeah, and of course how's this all gonna turn out for the third category? 14 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,200 Okay, coping potential 15 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,280 This one's really important. Okay, Cobra. This is your brain 16 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:37,680 Basically sizing up your own personal toolkit, right? Okay your resources your skills your ability to adapt 17 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,160 Don't you all to do with whatever's going on? 18 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:45,760 So like even if something bad happens if I think I can handle it. I won't freak out as much exactly 19 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,760 All right, and then finally we have 20 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,480 Normative significance which adds a whole other layer of complexity 21 00:01:52,960 --> 00:02:01,240 This is where like other people come into play, right exactly, you know it normative significance is all about how this event 22 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:02,680 Whatever it is 23 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:08,920 Fits with my values and social norms. Okay, it's where we feel those emotions like guilt shame pride all day 24 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:15,560 Let me see if I've got this all straight. Yeah, my brain is constantly looking at situations based on these four things, right? 25 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,560 Right relevance 26 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,000 implications 27 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:25,360 Yep coping potential. Yes, and how it all lines up with my values the component process model 28 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:29,480 It's it's got a lot of moving parts. There's a whole internal system going on under that 29 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:36,920 You got it 16 emotional filters and the CPM it helps us understand the why behind those feelings instead of just what we're feeling 30 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,800 You know and trust me those spilled coffee emotions 31 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:46,600 Way different depending on if it was you or Emmy who spilled it okay now. I'm really hooked so hit me with it 32 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,400 What are some of these filters that shape our reactions? 33 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,560 Let's start the very beginning like when our brain first encounters something is it sudden or 34 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:02,760 Expected that's our first filter suddenness like surprise party versus just knowing it's your birthday week same event 35 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:08,840 Totally different sudden levels on the old emotional scale exactly and that suddenness filter 36 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:15,000 It's already shaping how we process the emotional bites coming in all that info emotional bites gotta love that 37 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:19,760 Yeah, so what else is working in those first few seconds even if we don't realize it? Well, think of it like this 38 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,440 Is the situation familiar or totally new territory? 39 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:31,720 Familiarity filter kicking in there first day of school versus your usual Tuesday meeting big difference 40 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,880 Oh, tell me about it. My heart rates up just thinking about being the new kid again, huh? 41 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:42,040 Right and then right alongside that you've got predictability. How much did we see something coming predictable event? 42 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:47,840 It's like a dance you've rehearsed unpredictable now we're improvising and sometimes those improvised moves are the most memorable, right? 43 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:52,480 Absolutely our next filter goal need importance. That's coming into play big time 44 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,680 How much does this situation matter to what we want right now? 45 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:03,000 Okay, so if my goal is to I don't know totally nail this deep dive episode a sudden tech glitch 46 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:09,080 Way bigger deal than if I'm just chillin watching a movie right goals focus our attention exactly which leads us to 47 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,560 conduciveness is this event 48 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:17,400 Helping or hindering those goals we're now focused on like imagine hitting every green light on your way to work 49 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,680 Which is great unless I'm already running late and then it's just mocking my bad time management see 50 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:29,000 How conducive something feels totally depends on our own context our goals even our sense of humor at that moment 51 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:34,760 This is so cool. It's like we're taking emotions apart piece by piece and speaking of pieces the next few filters 52 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:39,960 They bring in other people into the mix, you know the social side of things remember spilled coffee 53 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:45,880 Well, who spilled it me you some random person that's cause agent doing its thing. Oh, okay 54 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:50,760 So if I do it, I'm just clumsy, but if someone bumps me and they're the coffee villains 55 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:56,120 Totally different emotional story exactly and it gets deeper right because then there's cause motive 56 00:04:56,120 --> 00:05:01,000 Did they do it on purpose total accident? Maybe they were distracted by like a runaway puppy our brains 57 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:05,880 We gotta know the wh y okay. That's hilarious, but also so true 58 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:11,320 Puppy makes almost anything forgivable. So we've got like the who and the why of the event. Yeah 59 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,560 What else is in this emotional recipe? 60 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,120 Next up we've got outcome probability 61 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,520 So how likely of it that something specific will happen because of this event like 62 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:29,080 Waiting for medical test results good news versus bad news totally changes how you feel in that waiting period 63 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,040 Oh for sure 64 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:36,040 It's like thinking about a delicious meal versus waiters is gonna give me food poisoning same event eating 65 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:42,680 But whole different emotional forecast going on right our brains of prediction machines constantly running simulations speaking of which 66 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,760 Let's talk discrepancy from expectation 67 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:50,120 How much did what just happened differ from what we thought was gonna happen the plot twist filter 68 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,400 Yeah, bigger the surprise bigger the emotional splash. You got it 69 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:59,720 Imagine getting a promotion you did not see coming huge positive discrepancy or planning a relaxing vacation 70 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,160 Turns into a travel nightmare that discrepancy you're gonna be unpacking that one for a while 71 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:09,240 Okay, this is making so much more sense. It's not just the event. It's how we filter it through all these different 72 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,480 Lenses I guess and that's the heart of the cpm right 73 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,440 Now picture yourself on that roller coaster of feelings next filter coming up 74 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:25,320 Urgency how fast we're gonna react to this thing low urgency we can take our time high urgency 75 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,760 Buckle up. Yeah, so a nice walk in the park versus I don't know that runaway puppy 76 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,720 Headed for my coffee. Yeah urgency levels night and day boom 77 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:41,800 Suddenly your body's flooded with those emotional bites, right? Got to take action got to protect the caffeine whatever it takes 78 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,040 All those filters firing at once 79 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,840 How do we even make sense of it? Especially when things feel crazy? 80 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:51,960 That's where the control filter comes in how much influence to bubi you think we have over this whole situation 81 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:56,520 Feeling in control usually brings calm feeling powerless. That's when things can spiral 82 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,400 It's like you're trying to give someone directions, but they're just not listening total lack of control 83 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:07,160 Okay, but what about the times when we do need help, you know, that's where power comes in not just can we handle it 84 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:12,120 But can we tap into resources get support think of it like we can't control the weather 85 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:18,840 But we can bring an umbrella. I love that not about being superhuman but knowing your strengths and when to phone a friend 86 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:25,560 So we've got we've got power. It's like the outside stuff, right? But what about like our own values? 87 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,120 Where did those fit into all these emotional filters going off? That's where adjustment comes in 88 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:36,680 How adaptable are we can we roll with the punches or do we just like get stuck on what we can't change? 89 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,200 So going back to your weather example high adjustment you're bummed about rain 90 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,760 But hey indoor picnic time exactly 91 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:49,880 Expectations shift emotions adapt, but low adjustment you're hung up on that sunny picnic rain ruins the whole thing 92 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:54,840 Flexibility is key. I'm seeing that can't always control the event, but we can control our reaction 93 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,880 Okay, what are the last couple filters we got to know these last two are interesting they get into right and wrong, you know 94 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,680 normative significance 95 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,880 Internal standards that's about how the situation sits with our values 96 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:12,600 So if I like accidentally cut someone off in traffic my internal standards, they're gonna make me feel guilty because I try to be a good driver 97 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:19,400 There we go. Guilts the signal right internal standards saying oh, oh something's not aligned here. Wow. Okay, and I'm guessing this last one 98 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,960 It's how our actions line up with what everybody expects bingo 99 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,920 normative significance 100 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,920 external standards 101 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:34,120 Those unwritten rules, you know what we pick up from family culture society the whole shebang 102 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:39,480 So even if I think my dance moves are killer if everyone else is clearing the floor 103 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,000 My external standards filter might be giving me some 104 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:50,200 Feedback right our brains are always comparing measuring ourselves against all these internal and external rules. Okay, so to recap 105 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:56,920 16 emotional filters shaping our world from how sudden something feels to if it matches our deepest values 106 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,400 It's like emotions have an instruction manual now 107 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:04,760 So what are the other pieces of this like emotional puzzle we're putting together? Well for starters? 108 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:10,280 There's the physiological stuff right your heart rate might go up. You might start sweating your muscles kent's up 109 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,200 Our bodies are really good at reacting to whatever is going on in our heads 110 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,520 Yeah, it's like our fight or flight response ticking in even if we're not like actually in danger 111 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,760 Exactly and then there's how we express those emotions outwardly 112 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,440 Like think about facial expressions your tone of voice your posture 113 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:32,760 Those are all part of this process too. So it's like our brains are making these lightning fast judgments 114 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,360 Our bodies are reacting and then we're expressing those feelings outwardly 115 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:41,960 So it's like this whole chain reaction happening inside of us all stemming from those initial appraisals right? 116 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,720 But here's where it gets even more interesting 117 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:49,720 They also found that appraisals related to our values like whether we think something is morally right or wrong 118 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,720 Those also had a measurable impact on our physiological responses 119 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,240 And it's like our sense of ethics is literally embodied. Whoa 120 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,960 That's pretty profound when you think about it 121 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,360 They notice something really interesting about how our perspective shifts 122 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:11,320 When we're not the ones directly experiencing something like when we're watching other people go through something 123 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:18,200 Yeah, like when you're watching a movie and like you find yourself getting totally invested in the characters and what they're going through 124 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,520 You're like on the edge of your seat even though it's not actually happening to you exactly 125 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,520 It's like we start to take on their perspective 126 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,680 Fascinating so it's like our brains know the difference between actually 127 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,080 Experiencing something and just witnessing it 128 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,000 But our emotions they still get all caught up in the moment, right? 129 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,280 It's almost like we're empathizing with the people we're watching 130 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,200 Even if we don't know them 131 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,440 I think you know all of this talk about appraisals components all of this stuff with the cpm 132 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:48,440 It's like we're getting this behind-the-scenes look at how our minds work, right? 133 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:55,960 How our brains are constantly evaluating situations and making decisions about how we should feel and having access to that behind-the-scenes 134 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,720 Information can be incredibly valuable. Yeah, for example, okay 135 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,920 It can help us recognize our own emotional patterns and biases 136 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:09,400 So instead of just feeling blindsided by a wave of anger or anxiety, we can actually take a step back and ask ourselves 137 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:15,400 Okay, what appraisals are at play here? Yeah, what story is my brain telling itself in this moment? 138 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:21,960 And is that story even accurate or is it being colored by my past experiences or biases? 139 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,280 Exactly just being able to ask those questions can be a game changer 140 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:33,640 Right, it allows us to approach our emotions with greater self-awareness and potentially even find ways to regulate them more effectively 141 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,760 Right, but it's not just about understanding our own emotions 142 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,840 Appraisal theory can also help us develop greater empathy for others 143 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:45,800 That makes sense because we often assume that everyone else is experiencing the world and reacting to it in the same way that we are 144 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:52,360 But that's obviously not true. Yeah, everyone is coming to the table with their own unique set of experiences expectations and biases 145 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,600 That shape their appraisals and influence their emotional responses precisely 146 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,840 And remember this isn't just about understanding our emotions. It's about them becoming tools 147 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:05,000 So listeners next time you're hit with a big emotion good or bad 148 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,320 Don't just go with it think about those filters. You might be surprised what you find 149 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,240 This has been an incredible deep dive. Thank you so much for walking us through it 150 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,160 My pleasure and remember every emotion no matter how messy it seems 151 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,600 It makes sense when we take the time to understand it and on that note 152 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:40,600 Stay curious my friends