emotional bites because your feelings are smarter than you think.
Have you ever like totally misread someone's anger?
You think they're cool and then bam, explosion.
Yeah.
It's like our emotions, they aren't always as simple as they seem, right?
Right.
So today we're doing a deep dive on the surprising complexity of anger and sadness.
Yeah.
We're going way beyond just those simple labels.
That's right.
We often use these words, anger or sadness, to describe a whole bunch of experiences.
But what if those experiences, even when they feel similar, could actually reflect different things happening in your body?
Okay.
Now you've got me intrigued.
I love when a deep dive uncovers those hitting layers.
Where do we even begin with untangling something as like universal as anger?
Well, think about the last time you felt angry.
Okay.
What was happening in your body?
Oh, I can answer that.
My heart was racing.
I felt this heat in my chest and my hands like clenched, like I wanted to punch something.
That's a perfect example of what researchers call modes of action readiness or Mars for short.
Mars.
Yeah.
So, you're preparing for action in different situations.
And what you just described, that surge of energy, the tension, that all aligns with what's called the antagonism, M-A-R, is that classic fight response.
So, my body was literally gearing up for a fight, even though I never actually threw a punch.
Exactly.
Your blood pressure probably went up, your muscles tensed, all preparing you to confront the source of your anger.
Wow.
Now, here's where things get really interesting.
Anger doesn't always look like that outward aggression.
Okay.
There's another M-A-R associated with anger, and it's called inhibition.
Inhibition.
That sounds almost peaceful, not very angry.
It might seem counterintuitive, but inhibition is anger turned inward.
Okay.
So, it's that outward burst of energy.
You experience a suppression of those aggressive urges.
Huh.
Imagine feeling that same anger, but instead of wanting to lash out, you get this tightness in your chest, your muscles tense up, but you freeze or you withdraw.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, like when you're so angry, you can't even speak.
Exactly.
I've totally felt that.
It's like your body is putting on the brakes, even though your emotions are racing.
Exactly.
And the research we're diving into suggests that these different errors can actually lead to very different behaviors.
Okay.
Someone experiencing antagonism might yell, argue, even become physically aggressive.
Right.
Meanwhile, someone experiencing inhibition might go silent, withdraw, or try to avoid any further conflict.
That's such a crucial point.
I'm already thinking about past arguments where, like, someone's silence made me assume they didn't care.
What if they were experiencing inhibition?
So, they were actually full of anger, but trying to keep it bottled up.
That's a perfect example of how understanding these errors can completely change our interpretations of other people's behavior.
Yeah.
And even our own, right?
We might even find ourselves reacting in ways that don't align with our intentions simply because of the MR that's dominant in that moment.
Wow.
I can already see how understanding these different errors within anger can be so helpful.
But we also wanted to untangle sadness today.
Yeah.
Does it have these different measures too?
I mean, it feels so different from anger.
It does feel different, but just like with anger, what we often label as sadness can actually encompass a couple different modes of action readiness.
Okay.
And yes, there are two primary ones that the research points to.
Okay.
Hit me with the first one.
What kind of MA is hiding within sadness?
The first one is called imploration.
Imploration?
Yeah.
Imagine you've just received some heartbreaking news.
Okay.
You might feel that lump in your throat, tears welling up, your chest aching.
Yeah.
Your instinct is to reach out to hug someone, to cry on a friend's shoulder.
Right.
That urge for connection, for solace, that's imploration.
So it's like a call for help, a way of seeking comfort and support from others.
Exactly.
It's an outward expression of sadness.
A way of signaling your need for care and understanding.
Think of a child crying out for their parent when they're hurt.
Right.
That's a very pure form of imploration.
It's interesting because even though it's a painful emotion, it's also a very active one.
It's about seeking connection, not shutting down.
Precisely.
And it serves an important purpose to strengthen social bonds and ensure survival.
Now, in contrast to imploration, we have the other MAR within sadness, deactivation.
Deactivation.
Okay, I'm already getting the opposite vibe here.
You're right.
While imploration reaches out, deactivation withdraws.
Huh.
Think about a time when you felt completely overwhelmed by sadness, so heavy you could barely move.
Maybe you felt numb, drained, completely unmotivated.
That's deactivation at play.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
So, a particularly rough breakup, I spent an entire weekend in bed barely able to eat or even watch TV.
It was like my body and mind needed to shut down completely.
That's a very relatable experience.
Deactivation is your body's way of conserving energy in the face of overwhelming sadness.
Wow.
It's like hitting the pause button on your emotions so you can regroup and recover.
So, even though it might seem like giving up or being lazy, it's actually a protective mechanism.
Exactly.
So, in play like imploration, it serves an important purpose even if it's not always pleasant to experience.
Right.
In some cases, deactivation can even manifest as depression, a more prolonged state of withdrawal and low energy.
This is really making me rethink how I view sadness, both in myself and in others.
It's not just one thing, it's a whole spectrum of experiences, each with its own purpose.
But how do we know which M.M.R. is at play in any given moment?
That's where paying attention to your body and your impulses becomes crucial.
So, if we really tune into those physical sensations, those impulses, when we're feeling angry or sad,
we can start to decode which M.M.R. is actually like driving our experience.
But how does that help us understand other people better?
I feel like that's where it gets really powerful.
You're absolutely right.
Remember that example you gave about misinterpreting someone's silence during an argument?
Yeah.
Imagine if instead of assuming indifference, you considered the possibility of inhibition.
What if their silence was actually a sign they were struggling with intense anger
but trying to keep it contained?
It completely changes the interpretation, doesn't it?
Instead of, they don't care, it's, wow, they're really holding back right now.
Exactly.
And that understanding can lead to a whole different approach.
Instead of escalating the conflict, you might offer them space
or even gently acknowledge that you sense their anger
and want to understand it better when they're ready to talk.
So this framework of M.R.R. isn't just about labeling our emotions.
It's about becoming better communicators and building stronger relationships.
Precisely.
It's about recognizing that what we see on the surface might not tell the whole story.
Someone who seems withdrawn and unemotional might actually be experiencing deactivation
as a way of coping with intense sadness.
Instead of judging them as cold or uncaring,
we can approach them with compassion,
recognizing that maybe they just need some time and space to process their emotions.
Exactly.
And on the flip side, if you're dealing with someone who's prone to imploration when they're sad,
you can understand that their need for comfort and reassurance isn't about being needy.
Right.
It's their M.R.R. expressing itself.
This is blowing my mind.
I'm starting to think about all the misunderstandings I've experienced in my relationships
and how this framework could have helped me navigate those situations
with more empathy and understanding.
That's the beauty of this research.
It gives us a new lens through which to view ourselves and others.
Yeah.
It reminds us that emotions are complex, they're nuanced.
Right.
And even seemingly negative emotions like anger and sadness serve important purposes.
This has been such an incredible deep dive.
I feel like I have a whole new toolkit for understanding not just my own emotional landscape,
but the inner worlds of the people around me.
Any final thoughts before we wrap up?
Just this.
The next time you encounter anger or sadness in yourself or in someone else,
remember the M.R.R.S.
Okay.
Take a moment to tune in.
Right.
Look beyond the surface and ask yourself,
what's really going on here?
You might be surprised by the depth of understanding and compassion that you uncover.
Such wise words.
So listeners, next time you feel that familiar wave of anger or sadness washing over you,
don't just write it out, dive deeper.
Explore those physical sensations, those impulses, uncover the M.R.R. that's driving your experience.
You might just unlock a whole new level of self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
Thanks for joining us on this fascinating journey into the heart of anger and sadness.
And stay curious, Messed Up World.