1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,360 Emotional bites, decoding the whispers of our inner software. 2 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,760 Okay, so let's unpack this idea of the conscious and unconscious mind. What's the difference? 3 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:31,040 Well, think of your conscious mind as the things you're actively aware of right now. 4 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,240 What you're thinking, what you're feeling, what you're deciding. It's like the screen on your 5 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,720 phone showing you what's happening, you know, in the moment. 6 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,120 Makes sense. What about the unconscious mind? 7 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:43,440 That's more like the operating system of your phone. 8 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:49,040 All the stuff running behind the scenes, the memories, instincts, and experiences that shape 9 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:55,600 who you are. You might not be directly aware of it, but it's influencing like everything you do. 10 00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:01,200 So even though we can't really see our unconscious mind, it's still impacting our thoughts, 11 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:06,000 feelings, and actions. Exactly. It's like these invisible structures, mental, emotional, and social 12 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:14,560 that act as like a framework for how we see ourselves, the world, and our relationships. 13 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,120 We don't always realize they're there, but they're constantly shaping our experiences. 14 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,560 Okay, I'm intrigued. Let's start with these mental structures. What are they all about? 15 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:28,080 Mental structures or schemas. They're like blueprints we develop based on our experiences. 16 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:34,720 They're mental shortcuts our brains create to help us process information quickly and efficiently. 17 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,600 So we're kind of like mental maps we use to navigate the world. 18 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:42,640 Exactly. Imagine you're learning to drive. At first, you have to consciously think about every 19 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:49,200 step, checking your mirrors, signaling, steering, but over time it becomes automatic. You develop a 20 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:55,200 mental schema for driving, a set of ingrained responses that allow you to navigate the road 21 00:01:55,200 --> 00:02:00,000 without having to consciously think about every detail. That's a great analogy. But how do these 22 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:07,200 mental structures influence our behavior in say relationships or work? Think about it this way. 23 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:13,200 If you grew up in a family where disagreements are handled through loud arguments, you might develop 24 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:18,640 a schema that associates conflict with aggression. Oh, okay. As an adult, when you encounter conflict 25 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:24,480 at work, you might automatically react defensively or shut down, even if the situation calls for a 26 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:29,360 more collaborative approach. So it's like these past experiences create a default setting. 27 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:33,920 And sometimes those default settings are helpful, but sometimes they can hold us back or lead to 28 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:39,920 misunderstandings. Okay, so mental structures are all about how we process information to make decisions. 29 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:44,960 Yeah. What about these emotional structures you mentioned? How do those play a role? 30 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:52,480 Emotional structures or internal working models are the blueprints we develop for relationships. 31 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:58,160 Okay. They shape our expectations of how others will treat us, how we'll feel in relationships, 32 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:03,600 and how we'll behave towards others. So kind of like our internal rulebook for love, friendship, 33 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:09,200 and connection. Exactly. Let's say you grew up in a family where affection is rarely expressed. 34 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:13,760 You might develop an internal working model that makes it difficult for you to express your own 35 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,720 feelings or to believe that others genuinely care about you. This can lead to challenges in 36 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:23,440 forming and maintaining close relationships. It's almost like these emotional blueprints 37 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:30,400 can become self-fulfilling prophecies, shaping our experiences in ways that reinforce our existing 38 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,720 beliefs. That's a great way to put it. And often we're completely unaware of these patterns 39 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:40,240 until we start to pay attention to them. Okay. So mental structures are about how we think and 40 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:44,800 process information. Emotional structures are about how we connect with others. Right. 41 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,560 What about these social structures you mentioned? How do those fit into the picture? 42 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:53,840 Social structures are the unspoken rules and expectations that shape our interactions in 43 00:03:53,840 --> 00:04:00,000 the wider world. They're the invisible forces. That influence everything from cultural norms 44 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:07,600 to power dynamics to societal expectations. So kind of like the unwritten code of conduct. 45 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,640 Yeah. For how we're supposed to behave in different situations. 46 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:15,760 Exactly. Think about something as simple as standing in line at the grocery store. 47 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,840 There's no official rulebook. Right. But we all know to wait our turn, 48 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,960 keep a respectful distance, and avoid cutting in line. 49 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,240 And those expectations vary depending on where you are in the world, right? 50 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,960 Absolutely. What's considered polite in one culture might be seen as rude in another. 51 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:37,920 Absolutely. Social structures are incredibly powerful in shaping our behavior. And they can be tricky 52 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:43,360 to navigate. Especially when we're unaware of the subtle cues and expectations at play. 53 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:49,680 Think about a workplace. There are often all these unspoken rules about hierarchy and communication. 54 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:55,840 A newer employee might hesitate to speak up in a meeting, even if they have really great ideas, 55 00:04:55,840 --> 00:05:00,480 just because they've picked up on this invisible structure that suggests it's not their place yet. 56 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:05,280 It's like these invisible structures are shaping the very fabric of our interactions. 57 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,840 No wonder it feels like navigating a maze sometimes. 58 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:13,280 It is. Take, for example, a job interview. There are all these rules about how to dress, 59 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,280 how to speak, and even how to make eye contact. 60 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:20,880 Right. You're supposed to appear confident and enthusiastic. 61 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,960 It's like there's a whole performance aspect to navigating these social situations. 62 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:31,760 Exactly. And sometimes we get so caught up in following those social scripts that we lose 63 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:37,440 sight of our own authentic selves. It's amazing how much of our behavior is influenced by these 64 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:42,400 invisible structures. Like forces we're not even consciously aware of. But how do we start to 65 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,720 become more aware of them? How do we even know they're there if they're invisible? 66 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:52,800 It's a bit like learning to read the subtle signs and signals in a new environment. 67 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:57,440 You start to pay attention to the patterns, the unspoken rules, the way people interact with each 68 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:03,520 other. And when it comes to our own inner world, our emotions are like our biggest clues. 69 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:07,760 You mean our feelings can actually tell us something about these deeper structures? 70 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:13,040 Absolutely. Emotions are like messengers from our unconscious mind trying to get our attention. 71 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,880 They're signals that something important is going on beneath the surface. 72 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:22,080 So instead of just dismissing our feelings as good or bad, we can actually use them as valuable 73 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:27,760 information. Exactly. Think of it this way. Imagine your car's engine light suddenly comes on. 74 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:32,960 Okay. You wouldn't just ignore it. Right. You'd want to figure out what's causing the problem and 75 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:39,680 get it fixed. Emotions are like our internal warning system, letting us know that something needs our 76 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:44,560 attention. So if I'm feeling anxious or stressed, that's not just like a random feeling. It's 77 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:49,520 actually pointing to something like deeper. Precisely. Maybe it's a sign that you're feeling 78 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:56,720 overwhelmed or that you're facing a situation that triggers an old schema or internal working model. 79 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:01,360 It's an invitation to get curious and explore what's going on beneath the surface. 80 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:06,720 Okay. So instead of getting frustrated with myself for feeling anxious, I can try to get curious 81 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,440 about what that anxiety is trying to tell me, what's causing it, what's the message behind it. 82 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,760 And as you start to bring those patterns into conscious awareness, you'll gain a deeper 83 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:21,440 understanding of yourself and why you react the way you do. This is also insightful. It's like 84 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:26,080 we're peeling back the layers, revealing all these fascinating complexities beneath the surface. 85 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:30,560 And the deeper we go, the more we discover about who we truly are. Learning about these 86 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:35,120 invisible structures, it's like finally getting the instruction manual. It's true. 87 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,680 Once you understand the tools you have, you can start to build something incredible. 88 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:45,920 Are there other types of these invisible structures? Sure. There are also these invisible structures 89 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:51,280 that form between us and our environment. Okay. For example, think about how certain places can 90 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:58,240 evoke really strong emotions or memories that we've like imprinted on that space over time. 91 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:03,520 It's like those places become infused with meaning based on our past experiences. 92 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:08,640 Exactly. Imagine returning to your childhood home. Suddenly, you're flooded with all these 93 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:13,280 memories and emotions, both positive and negative, that you might not have even realized were still 94 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:18,080 there. Or maybe a certain song like transports you back to a specific time in your life. 95 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,280 Yeah. Bringing back all the feelings associated with that moment. 96 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:26,080 Yes. Our minds are constantly making those connections between ourselves, other people, 97 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:31,760 and our environment. It's all interconnected. It's incredible to think about how much is 98 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:38,000 happening beneath the surface of our like awareness. No wonder it feels so complex sometimes. 99 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:44,880 It is a complex system. And sometimes our unconscious can even hold these conflicting 100 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,640 desires, fears, and motivations that we're not fully aware of. 101 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:53,200 So we might have this part of ourselves that craves like security and stability, 102 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:58,400 but then another part that yearns for adventure and excitement. 103 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:05,040 Exactly. And those two parts can be in a constant tug of war, creating inner conflict and confusion. 104 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,120 It's like that feeling of being torn between two different paths, not knowing which way to go. 105 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,280 And often we don't even realize why we're so conflicted, 106 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,200 because those unconscious dynamics are playing out behind the scenes. 107 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,240 It's like we're trying to navigate a hidden world that we can't even see. 108 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:22,640 It is a hidden world. And the most important takeaway I hope you have from this conversation is 109 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:28,160 the power of curiosity. By approaching our emotions, our thoughts and our behaviors, 110 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:34,560 with a curious and compassionate mindset, we can start to unravel those hidden patterns and 111 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:38,160 beliefs that are shaping our experiences. And with that awareness, we can start to 112 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,320 create real change in our lives and relationships. Absolutely. It's a journey of self-discovery 113 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:47,040 that's well worth taking. Thank you so much for sharing your insights with me today. 114 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,440 I'm feeling inspired to start exploring my own invisible structures and see what I can uncover. 115 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,440 And stay curious about the invisible forces that shape your reality, 116 00:09:55,440 --> 00:10:11,360 because sometimes those glitches, they make the best music.