WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.860 Okay, let's unpack this. If you are anything 00:00:01.860 --> 00:00:05.419 like us when you see an email and it's an invitation 00:00:05.419 --> 00:00:08.380 to a professional networking event, you just, 00:00:08.539 --> 00:00:11.519 you feel that very specific sinking dread. Oh, 00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:13.779 absolutely. That feeling is universal. A forced 00:00:13.779 --> 00:00:17.199 small talk, the lukewarm coffee. It just feels 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:20.100 so transactional and I don't know, unnatural. 00:00:20.199 --> 00:00:22.480 It does. And that feeling of awkward, you know, 00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:24.780 transactional obligation. It's really just a 00:00:24.780 --> 00:00:27.820 symptom of a flawed, outdated model. Right. So 00:00:27.820 --> 00:00:29.859 our deep dive today is looking at sources that 00:00:29.820 --> 00:00:33.119 analyze those gaps in the traditional approach 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:36.240 and, more importantly, propose this really powerful 00:00:36.240 --> 00:00:39.439 alternative. Moving beyond the network, to building 00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:42.179 an authentic, expressive community, a professional 00:00:42.179 --> 00:00:44.759 tribe. And that's our mission, really, to understand 00:00:44.759 --> 00:00:47.439 how we can shift from connecting purely for career 00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:49.560 leverage to connecting based on shared values, 00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:52.679 real purpose. We're going to look at how fostering 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:55.100 these authentic tribes can boost your job satisfaction, 00:00:55.320 --> 00:00:57.079 your resilience, and really just create this 00:00:57.079 --> 00:01:00.880 environment for real growth. We've got some powerful 00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:03.840 stories from leaders who've done it. And we can't 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:06.579 really talk about the solution. without first 00:01:06.579 --> 00:01:08.620 defining the problem. So we should start with 00:01:08.620 --> 00:01:12.019 the foundational work of Dr. Caitlin Porter and 00:01:12.019 --> 00:01:14.959 her team. They studied how networks at work impact 00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:16.700 our success. And they found that professional 00:01:16.700 --> 00:01:19.739 connections pretty much fall along a clear spectrum. 00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:22.700 A very clear spectrum. On one end, you have what 00:01:22.700 --> 00:01:25.519 everybody recognizes as networking, right? The 00:01:25.519 --> 00:01:28.079 instrumental network. Exactly. Instrumental networks, 00:01:28.780 --> 00:01:31.000 their connections built purely for job -related 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.739 outcomes. And look, they are absolutely necessary. 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.790 You need them. They provide critical advice, 00:01:37.349 --> 00:01:40.709 expertise, access to resources, all the things 00:01:40.709 --> 00:01:43.969 that directly improve your job performance and 00:01:43.969 --> 00:01:46.890 your career success. It's the classic, what can 00:01:46.890 --> 00:01:49.329 this person do for me right now approach. But 00:01:49.329 --> 00:01:50.810 then you have this completely different dimension 00:01:50.810 --> 00:01:52.969 that I think a lot of people ignore. And this 00:01:52.969 --> 00:01:55.909 is the source of genuine satisfaction and that 00:01:55.909 --> 00:01:58.540 sort of sustained resilience. The expressive 00:01:58.540 --> 00:02:01.439 network. Yes, the expressive network is defined 00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:04.599 by social bonding experiences. And a key finding 00:02:04.599 --> 00:02:06.519 from the research is that these are the people 00:02:06.519 --> 00:02:09.900 who become your best friends at work. And crucially, 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:12.580 they provide psychological safety. The sources 00:02:12.580 --> 00:02:15.259 note this type of connection dramatically increases 00:02:15.259 --> 00:02:18.020 job satisfaction. It reduces your risk of burnout. 00:02:18.520 --> 00:02:21.439 And I love how they put it. adds more color to 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:23.300 the work that we do. Okay, I want to pause on 00:02:23.300 --> 00:02:25.340 that definition, though, because for a lot of 00:02:25.340 --> 00:02:27.479 listeners, the idea of having best friends at 00:02:27.479 --> 00:02:30.639 work, that sounds kind of risky. Yeah. Doesn't 00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:32.800 that lack of professional distance create some 00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:35.439 kind of liability? What happens when you're on 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:39.180 a tough project, or even worse, a company reorg? 00:02:39.900 --> 00:02:42.060 That's a critical question. Yeah. And the mechanism 00:02:42.060 --> 00:02:45.120 here isn't just about liking someone. It's about 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:48.060 mutual, unconditional support within the professional 00:02:48.060 --> 00:02:50.800 context. So your instrumental network, it helps 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:54.180 you succeed at a task. But the expressive network, 00:02:54.379 --> 00:02:57.000 your tribe, it helps you succeed at being a professional. 00:02:57.219 --> 00:02:59.360 They buffer stress, they give you that candid 00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:01.900 feedback that maybe a transactional contact would 00:03:01.900 --> 00:03:04.659 withhold, and they offer real perspective when 00:03:04.659 --> 00:03:07.469 things go sideways. So if having this expressive 00:03:07.469 --> 00:03:11.669 tribe is so incredibly beneficial, why do so 00:03:11.669 --> 00:03:15.229 many of us default to that forced kind of transactional 00:03:15.229 --> 00:03:17.469 thing? Why is it so hard to build those deep 00:03:17.469 --> 00:03:20.110 expressive ties? Well, the sources outline a 00:03:20.110 --> 00:03:22.969 few highly relatable roadblocks. Yeah. And some 00:03:22.969 --> 00:03:24.949 of them are internal. They're those self -limiting 00:03:24.949 --> 00:03:26.770 the least, we tell ourselves. Like what? You 00:03:26.770 --> 00:03:29.169 know, things like, I'm an introvert, so networking 00:03:29.169 --> 00:03:32.430 is not really for me. Or that desire to just 00:03:32.430 --> 00:03:35.849 put your head down. Can I just do my job and 00:03:35.849 --> 00:03:38.270 not have to worry about anybody else? And the 00:03:38.270 --> 00:03:40.969 practical obstacles are so valid, too. Especially 00:03:40.969 --> 00:03:43.090 for people balancing complex lives at home. We 00:03:43.090 --> 00:03:45.370 hear things like, I have three kids, I have no 00:03:45.370 --> 00:03:47.729 time to breathe, let alone network. Exactly. 00:03:48.030 --> 00:03:50.129 Or someone re -entering the workforce after a 00:03:50.129 --> 00:03:52.229 break, just feeling totally overwhelmed about 00:03:52.229 --> 00:03:54.689 where to even start. These are basically cognitive 00:03:54.689 --> 00:03:57.150 traps. They focus on the time required, not the 00:03:57.150 --> 00:03:59.169 intent. They assume try building means going 00:03:59.169 --> 00:04:01.849 to 10 cocktail mixers a month, when it's just 00:04:01.849 --> 00:04:04.689 time. it's fundamentally different from collecting 00:04:04.689 --> 00:04:07.430 business cards. So here's where it gets really 00:04:07.430 --> 00:04:10.210 interesting. Let's look at the solution through 00:04:10.210 --> 00:04:13.310 the lens of someone who faced this exact barrier. 00:04:13.530 --> 00:04:15.770 We have a great example from Aralee, who admits 00:04:15.770 --> 00:04:19.230 she's a deep introvert. And earlier in her career, 00:04:19.410 --> 00:04:21.709 she was so shy, she would physically hide from 00:04:21.709 --> 00:04:24.649 networking events. She said, it just made life 00:04:24.649 --> 00:04:27.709 a lot harder. And Aralee's insight here is... 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.740 so actionable for any self -proclaimed introvert 00:04:30.740 --> 00:04:33.120 listening, she realized her energy was finite, 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:36.279 so she stopped trying to master small talk. So 00:04:36.279 --> 00:04:38.740 what did she do instead? She focused on a really 00:04:38.740 --> 00:04:41.879 specific, powerful intent. She chose to be, and 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:44.399 this is her quote, fearless when it came to reaching 00:04:44.399 --> 00:04:46.620 out to somebody if I wanted to learn from them, 00:04:46.779 --> 00:04:49.139 if I admired them, or if I could be useful to 00:04:49.139 --> 00:04:52.110 them. That reframing is everything. The mental 00:04:52.110 --> 00:04:55.689 leap is moving from, I must network to how can 00:04:55.689 --> 00:04:58.389 I learn or contribute here? Yes. She leveraged 00:04:58.389 --> 00:05:00.930 her introverted preference for depth over breadth. 00:05:01.610 --> 00:05:04.430 And that shift led to this huge aha moment for 00:05:04.430 --> 00:05:06.850 her. She realized, I'm actually really good at 00:05:06.850 --> 00:05:08.870 building a tribe. I just did not do it when I 00:05:08.870 --> 00:05:10.269 called it something else. So she was already 00:05:10.269 --> 00:05:12.269 doing the work. She was already doing it. She 00:05:12.269 --> 00:05:14.230 just had to rename it and apply it professionally. 00:05:14.730 --> 00:05:17.269 It's about authentic utility, not transaction. 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:20.420 Let's look at how this plays out over time across 00:05:20.420 --> 00:05:23.399 different life stages. Sushma, another leader 00:05:23.399 --> 00:05:26.759 from our sources, she was 15 years into her career 00:05:26.759 --> 00:05:29.779 and felt like she'd lost touch with the external 00:05:29.779 --> 00:05:31.879 professional world, you know, balancing those 00:05:31.879 --> 00:05:35.019 multiple poles of life. Right. And she didn't 00:05:35.019 --> 00:05:38.240 seek out some formal mentorship program. She 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:40.959 reconnected by engaging with an internal structure, 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:44.459 her company's Asian Pacific Islanders Employee 00:05:44.459 --> 00:05:48.410 Resource Group, and ERG. So these ERGs, they're 00:05:48.410 --> 00:05:50.589 basically internal communities built around a 00:05:50.589 --> 00:05:52.949 shared identity or a passion. Exactly. So the 00:05:52.949 --> 00:05:54.889 internal community provided the shared foundation, 00:05:55.230 --> 00:05:57.230 but the network eventually stretched outward. 00:05:57.850 --> 00:06:00.509 Sushma met peers from a completely separate company 00:06:00.509 --> 00:06:02.990 who are facing these incredibly similar challenges. 00:06:03.750 --> 00:06:05.610 Mid -career development, navigating corporate 00:06:05.610 --> 00:06:08.670 culture as an API professional. All of it. They 00:06:08.670 --> 00:06:11.189 recognized this shared value that went way beyond 00:06:11.189 --> 00:06:14.110 their company logos. And this led Sushma to co 00:06:14.110 --> 00:06:16.430 -found a cross -company peer mentoring program. 00:06:16.589 --> 00:06:19.449 That's the sticky factor. The connections lasted 00:06:19.449 --> 00:06:22.949 because they were rooted in mutual experience 00:06:22.949 --> 00:06:26.290 and purpose, not job titles. It's proof that 00:06:26.290 --> 00:06:29.410 the fastest way to stop networking is to start 00:06:29.410 --> 00:06:31.879 working toward a shared mission. And this idea 00:06:31.879 --> 00:06:34.379 of shared mission and also diversity of connection, 00:06:34.540 --> 00:06:37.939 it's echoed by Laura, she helped run a data literacy 00:06:37.939 --> 00:06:41.220 program that RLE had started. And Laura noted 00:06:41.220 --> 00:06:43.879 the group was, I mean, it was 17 people from 00:06:43.879 --> 00:06:46.079 different functions, different business units, 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:48.569 different ages, different levels. That sounds 00:06:48.569 --> 00:06:50.230 like a management challenge, but it actually 00:06:50.230 --> 00:06:52.870 became the foundation for their tribe. It did, 00:06:53.009 --> 00:06:56.009 because diversity is resilience. Lor quotes that 00:06:56.009 --> 00:06:58.750 powerful adage. If you want to go fast, you go 00:06:58.750 --> 00:07:01.089 alone. But if you want to go far, you go together. 00:07:01.310 --> 00:07:04.290 Right. And together has to mean diverse perspectives. 00:07:04.730 --> 00:07:06.670 If everyone in your tribe thinks just like you, 00:07:06.689 --> 00:07:08.569 you have a support group, sure, but you don't 00:07:08.569 --> 00:07:10.810 have a challenge group. And you need that challenge 00:07:10.810 --> 00:07:13.430 to grow. That's a great distinction. And what's 00:07:13.430 --> 00:07:15.839 fascinating is Lor's admission that Honestly, 00:07:15.899 --> 00:07:18.459 she wasn't initially passionate about data literacy 00:07:18.459 --> 00:07:21.819 the topic of the group really yeah She said she 00:07:21.819 --> 00:07:24.660 was all in on empowering others lifting people 00:07:24.660 --> 00:07:26.959 up creating opportunities. That was her core 00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:30.160 value The data literacy program was just the 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:32.300 vehicle that allowed her to find other people 00:07:32.300 --> 00:07:34.339 who shared that mission. So the lesson there 00:07:34.339 --> 00:07:36.459 is don't worry if the immediate task doesn't 00:07:36.459 --> 00:07:39.459 excite you, find the human shared value underneath 00:07:39.459 --> 00:07:42.180 it that does. Precisely. Okay, so moving from 00:07:42.180 --> 00:07:44.160 shared values, we have to talk about how a tribe 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:46.620 sustains itself through challenges, and that 00:07:46.620 --> 00:07:49.439 brings up vulnerability and allyship. Let's turn 00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:52.579 to Sherish, who focuses heavily on allies, especially 00:07:52.579 --> 00:07:55.699 male allies in fields like tech. Sherish's perspective 00:07:55.699 --> 00:07:58.680 is... It's really comprehensive. He argues that 00:07:58.680 --> 00:08:02.019 allyship isn't charity, it's strategy. Allies 00:08:02.019 --> 00:08:04.319 have to proactively recognize that the growth 00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:06.879 of women colleagues leads directly to the collective 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:09.279 growth of the entire team. It's a win -win system. 00:08:09.480 --> 00:08:11.899 It is. And he connects this professional idea 00:08:11.899 --> 00:08:14.259 back to his personal life. He talks about his 00:08:14.259 --> 00:08:16.939 dual career household, raising a child with special 00:08:16.939 --> 00:08:19.339 needs, and how allyship is essential at home 00:08:19.339 --> 00:08:22.139 too. It means proactively giving his partner 00:08:22.139 --> 00:08:25.120 space to grow her own career and her own tribe. 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:27.480 I mean, that's great advice, to have an inclusion 00:08:27.480 --> 00:08:31.279 -first mindset. But let's be real. If an ally 00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:34.620 challenges the system or calls out bias, they're 00:08:34.620 --> 00:08:37.200 risking their own political capital. That's the 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.120 friction, right? What's the professional cost? 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:42.139 Yeah, do the sources address that? The consensus, 00:08:42.379 --> 00:08:44.620 particularly from Sherrish, is that the long 00:08:44.620 --> 00:08:47.340 -term payoff outweighs that short -term cost. 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:51.500 But it takes courage. His actionable advice is 00:08:51.500 --> 00:08:54.399 crucial here. Allies pull each other up and, 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:56.740 maybe most importantly, never make any assumptions. 00:08:56.980 --> 00:08:59.700 Always ask questions. Always ask. Seek to understand. 00:08:59.779 --> 00:09:02.840 Create those pathways for mutual growth. It requires 00:09:02.840 --> 00:09:05.720 deep trust, which brings us right back to vulnerability. 00:09:06.029 --> 00:09:08.590 And R. Lee had an incredibly powerful story about 00:09:08.590 --> 00:09:10.730 this, about the risk of being authentic. She 00:09:10.730 --> 00:09:12.850 said during the COVID era, her personal life 00:09:12.850 --> 00:09:15.610 was, and this is her word, a dumpster fire. And 00:09:15.610 --> 00:09:17.669 she was terrified that by being honest about 00:09:17.669 --> 00:09:19.610 her struggles during a company mental health 00:09:19.610 --> 00:09:22.330 awareness event, she would, quote, destroy things 00:09:22.330 --> 00:09:25.309 at work. And that is such a real fear to be seen 00:09:25.309 --> 00:09:29.210 as incapable. It is. But despite that fear, she 00:09:29.210 --> 00:09:32.710 shared her story. And the result wasn't a reprimand. 00:09:33.070 --> 00:09:37.269 It was this. unexpected, powerful surge of community. 00:09:37.870 --> 00:09:40.110 People from all over reached out to show their 00:09:40.110 --> 00:09:42.789 stories. That authenticity built a bridge. But 00:09:42.789 --> 00:09:45.370 here's the catch. How do you take that risk of 00:09:45.370 --> 00:09:47.090 being vulnerable if you genuinely don't know 00:09:47.090 --> 00:09:49.289 if the space is safe? What if you put yourself 00:09:49.289 --> 00:09:52.129 out there and the environment, you know, slaps 00:09:52.129 --> 00:09:55.649 you back? That's a great question. And both Aralee 00:09:55.649 --> 00:09:58.809 and Sushma address this. The first step is self 00:09:58.809 --> 00:10:01.049 -discernment. You know your environment best. 00:10:01.490 --> 00:10:03.470 No one is saying you should just jump off a cliff. 00:10:03.590 --> 00:10:05.350 So you have to ask yourself. You have to ask, 00:10:05.649 --> 00:10:08.509 is my distrust based on a bad experience from 00:10:08.509 --> 00:10:11.029 an old job? Or is it true for my current reality? 00:10:11.250 --> 00:10:13.889 Is this a calculated risk or just blind trust? 00:10:14.029 --> 00:10:16.049 And if you take that risk and it does slap you 00:10:16.049 --> 00:10:18.269 back... Then Arlie's wisdom here is just perfect. 00:10:18.350 --> 00:10:20.750 She says, that's okay. That's not your mistake. 00:10:20.870 --> 00:10:22.610 That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You 00:10:22.610 --> 00:10:24.450 just learned something and that's okay. You learned 00:10:24.450 --> 00:10:26.870 that workplace wasn't your tribe. Exactly. And 00:10:26.870 --> 00:10:28.470 the few true connections you make from being 00:10:28.470 --> 00:10:30.509 honest are worth the process of elimination. 00:10:30.870 --> 00:10:33.009 You remain you, and the right people will find 00:10:33.009 --> 00:10:35.690 their way to that. So what does this all mean 00:10:35.690 --> 00:10:39.690 for the listener who is ready to retire the transactional 00:10:39.690 --> 00:10:42.429 handshake and start building a real tribe? What 00:10:42.429 --> 00:10:45.009 are the big actionable takeaways from these stories? 00:10:45.470 --> 00:10:48.470 I think we can synthesize four core actions based 00:10:48.470 --> 00:10:51.980 on what we heard from RLE. Sushma and Suresh. 00:10:52.179 --> 00:10:54.679 Okay. Number one, face your fears through micro 00:10:54.679 --> 00:10:58.100 actions. Yes. Don't try to, as Arlie put it, 00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:01.019 digest the entire elephant in one go. Start small. 00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:04.080 If you fear reaching out, just commit to one 00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:07.080 high value coffee this month. Focus only on learning 00:11:07.080 --> 00:11:09.960 or offering help. The reward is finding your 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:13.500 person. Number two, know thyself. Know your passion 00:11:13.500 --> 00:11:15.720 points. Right. Identify your core values that 00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:18.580 go beyond your job title. like Sushma, find people 00:11:18.580 --> 00:11:20.600 who care about the same things you do. Bring 00:11:20.600 --> 00:11:22.500 that volunteer mentality into your professional 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:25.100 life. Number three, be your own tribe first. 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:27.200 This one is so critical, especially when you 00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:30.799 feel spectacularly alone. Focus on nurturing 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:32.980 yourself first. Invest in your own resilience 00:11:32.980 --> 00:11:34.899 so you show up ready for connection, not looking 00:11:34.899 --> 00:11:38.460 for a tribe to fill some internal void. And finally, 00:11:38.620 --> 00:11:41.080 number four, leverage existing structure. Yeah, 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:42.940 you don't always have to build from scratch. 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:46.379 If you're a large organization, use the ERGs, 00:11:46.519 --> 00:11:48.759 the employee resource groups like Sherish and 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:51.419 Sushma did. They're ready -made frameworks for 00:11:51.419 --> 00:11:53.779 finding your people. And I think we should echo 00:11:53.779 --> 00:11:56.080 Laura's encouragement here. She acknowledges 00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:57.840 it's uncomfortable, but she just says, you know, 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:00.679 just do it anyways and get curious. Curiosity, 00:12:00.940 --> 00:12:03.460 that's what unlocks the door. It replaces that 00:12:03.460 --> 00:12:07.299 dread with genuine interest. Ultimately, the 00:12:07.299 --> 00:12:10.879 shift is just profound. real professional success 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.379 and satisfaction. They come from moving away 00:12:13.379 --> 00:12:15.919 from instrumental networking and toward expressive 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:18.340 community building. That's how you build resilience. 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:20.519 It's how you improve the quality of your entire 00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:23.269 career. And the source material always comes 00:12:23.269 --> 00:12:25.710 back to this idea that building a community is 00:12:25.710 --> 00:12:28.450 about making deposits. You put in the time and 00:12:28.450 --> 00:12:30.710 attention so that later, maybe much later, you 00:12:30.710 --> 00:12:32.789 can pick up the phone and say, hey, I need help. 00:12:33.269 --> 00:12:35.809 It implies that reciprocity and long -term commitment 00:12:35.809 --> 00:12:38.330 are the real measures of a tribe. So a final 00:12:38.330 --> 00:12:40.149 thought for you to consider. Think about the 00:12:40.149 --> 00:12:42.610 last five professional connections you made. 00:12:43.029 --> 00:12:45.509 Were those transactions built for short -term 00:12:45.509 --> 00:12:48.269 performance? Or were they deposits built for 00:12:48.269 --> 00:12:51.000 long -term resilience? What small intention deposit 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:51.659 will you make today?