Welcome back y'all. Today I wanted to get into my history with playing in bands and live music and that experience.
So to give you some background, I started writing music when I was in like eighth grade and I did not know how to play an instrument other than maybe, I think the first song I learned on guitar was Adrian by Jewel.
And I would pick it, which go figure it now I pick more than I strum.
So that was kind of my sister had a guitar and a boy had broken my heart and I would like go into my closet.
I remember I had like a walk-in closet and I'd go sit in my closet at night and like bang on my guitar and sing because I didn't want my mom to hear me because it was really embarrassing.
But I, my sister's boyfriend at the time, heard me and ended up connecting me with this guy, Joe Wood.
And yeah, Joe started coming over and like playing guitar, like putting guitar down to the songs that I had written.
And we just like took over my mom's living room and they were like six, seven years older than me, I think.
So it was pretty funny because I was like a 14 year old girl commanding a band of guys that were much older than me.
But they were like my big brothers and it was just really my first experience in that like really special chemistry that you create when you play music with people.
There's just a, there's nothing like that bond. There really isn't.
It's very different from a relationship bond.
It's a very different feeling, but you do connect in like a really special way when you play live music with people.
So yeah, Joe would come over and then Chris, who was my sister's boyfriend at the time, picked up bass.
Like he taught himself how to play bass so that he could play in the band.
And one of our first shows was at my, I performed at my homecoming dance.
I performed an original song called These Tears.
And yeah, I remember I went out there and my microphone was off and I sang the whole song acapella because I was in an auditorium full of all my, my entire high school.
And so I just belted it and then I walked off stage and they were like, we just turn the mic back on, go out there and do it again.
So I walked out there. I did it all over again and it was great.
And I, that really gave me the confidence to get ready to start playing out.
I mean, granted, I don't think we played a ton of shows back then.
We did a lot more like practicing and like we would go to this studio in Little Rock and my dad would pay for like, I don't know, like an hour of studio time.
And we would track, you know, a couple of songs, maybe like three or four songs at a time.
And this was in the days where you'd like burn CDs and I'd burn the CDs and I would like print out the little like paper things that you could put on.
So I branded it. I went all out.
Some people may still have those CDs because then I would go to school and I would just pass out my CDs to people at school.
So I was that girl in ninth grade.
And yeah, we started playing gigs around Arkansas. We played.
Chris was went to a college near us. And so he was, I think he was in a fraternity and we played at his frat house.
So it's like a big crawfish boil.
And it was it was a fun experience. You know, I was able to like go into bars that, you know, you are allowed to get into those bars if you're the performer.
So I was like, you know, 1415 playing in bars in Little Rock.
Shout out Jennifer Cox, who's I think one of the first people who got me a gig in Little Rock at God.
What was that place called back then?
I can't remember. I played it later. It ended up being like three other bars.
But um, yeah, I had some really great people who supported me in that.
And it was a really special experience.
And that band kind of came to an end when I was like going into, I guess senior year, junior year, I got a little boyfriend and like, I don't know, he was, we just, I like focused all in on my boyfriend.
So this goes back to, we'll talk about this, but I tend to do more music when I'm single.
That's always been the case. But yeah, so I then ended up going to college in Los Angeles.
And I was, I did like the girl pop duo thing with my cousin for a hot second. We touched on that.
But then after I graduated, I actually found this band.
And now in hindsight, I remember why I did this. So when I was in, right after I graduated college, Joe was in a car accident, my old guitarist and passed away.
And that was really, that was really hard for me. And I think I, like a lot of music poured out at me when that happened.
And I really missed playing live music. So I found this band on Craigslist.
And honestly, I don't even remember what we called the band. We actually never played live.
We would go and practice in this guy's apartment.
And it was me and two other women and three guys. I remember Gary was the name of the guy who put it together.
But like they basically had it all already set up when I showed up.
And we would, they had like a whole list of things that we would sing. And it was a bunch of music that like was like older.
I mean, these guys were like 30 years older than me. They were all, I think most of them, maybe not the girls, the girls, I don't know.
Sorry, if you guys are listening. I don't think 30 years is right, but they were all older. I was the baby of the band.
But that was fun because I ended up learning a lot of music that I wouldn't have known otherwise.
And it felt like a really safe space for me to start to like get back into playing live. And I'm, gosh, my memory.
I'm having a hard time remembering if I played guitar. But after Joe passed away, that was the time that I really poured myself into learning guitar.
And I think they did let me play guitar a little bit when we do our practices.
Yeah, we would just get together like once or twice a week and sing a bunch of music. And like the goal was to eventually book a gig.
Did we book a gig? I can't remember. I ended up leaving LA. I ended up moving out of LA.
So when I moved out of LA, I moved back to Arkansas. And I had a very, very, very short lived. I don't even know if I want to call it a band there.
But it was called Midnight the Cat. And it was with one of my friends from college.
And we played a couple live shows. And then he went back to California. And that was when I really started like having the confidence to play by myself.
Fully, I just started booking myself. And, you know, I think it was Cheryl Crowe who I got this advice from.
Not personally, but I think I heard her say this once that you should practice out.
You're going to practice better if you practice, if you make your practice your live gig.
Now that is not to say to go into a live gig with no idea what you're doing.
But once you get to that level, you should practice out because you're going to practice better when you're in front of people.
You're going to get better that way. You just have to get over yourself. You just have to like throw yourself into the moment.
And so it's really the best way to get a lot better really quickly.
And so yeah, I started doing that. And I mean, definitely my first bunch of shows. I mean, that's that's what being a musician is.
You get out, you fumble, you grow, you learn what works, you learn what doesn't.
But I remember I this is back when like I would print out the tabs. So like there were some songs I knew I didn't have to look.
I didn't have to reference anything. But there was a lot of songs that I wanted, you know, we're talking some of these gigs were like three, four hours sets that I would play.
So I needed a lot of material to not be repeating stuff over and over again.
So I remember in the beginning, I would like print out the tabs from Ultimate Guitar, which like talk about Monopoly.
I don't know any other place where you can learn. I've always used Ultimate Guitar. You guys let me know if there's a better place.
But I feel like that's existed since like Napster. I remember that's how I learned guitar.
But anyways, I would print out the paper. And for those of you who know me, I hate touching paper.
So I would like put it in laminated sheets. I had it in like this big binder. So I had like a binder, this thick, full of just tons of covers.
And I would take that out. I would have my little stand. And yeah, I'd flip through I'd reference that I got really good at being able to like play, read, do all of that at the same time, like read the music.
And when I'm saying read the music, I'm not I actually cannot read music. I and that is why I didn't go to music school.
You know, what I I thought about going to Berkeley, but it felt so intimidating.
Berkeley College of Music when I was in high school, because I had no idea how to read music, and it felt like so far off to be able to do so.
I still don't know how to read music. I learn everything via like tabs, or I know how to read tabs, and I know how to read chords.
But yeah, so if you are on the fence about learning guitar and you feel like you have to learn know how to read music, you do you do not.
I'd say most a lot of musicians these days don't know how to read music.
But yeah, I then got an iPad and that totally changed the game because then I didn't have to carry around that big bulky thing.
But so yeah, for like two years, I was just playing solo for a long time, mostly out of necessity because it was my main source of income.
And I didn't want to have to split the money. It's easier to travel when it's just you. There's so much less.
There's so much less equipment when it's just you. And yeah, you get the whole the whole pot.
So that was it was really out of necessity that I did it. But I will say I then linked up with a guy named Steve Bates.
God rest his soul. But he was like, he, I don't know, he's like my mom's age, I think, or no, he was probably 10 years younger than my mom.
But he had been playing in Littorock for a long time. He was like one of those seasoned musicians and like big Led Zeppelin fan.
He was just he was incredible. I was so lucky that he agreed to play with me.
And I think it was my mom or maybe my mom's friend Cindy who linked us up. I can't remember, but I'm really glad I did because we had a very special live music connection.
And he almost felt like my like first like mentor that was almost like a father figure mentor musically.
So that was really special. And he actually was the one who played with me on my first gig in New York when I booked that gig.
Before I moved up here, I booked a couple of gigs in New York City. And one of them was at Arlene's grocery.
And so Steve drove up in his in his bus. He had like an awesome like music band and brought his girlfriend Donna and they.
Yeah, he played this gig with me and it was amazing. And so that was a really special like live music kind of soulful connection experience.
And it felt totally safe. It felt totally like there was never any line that ever felt crossed.
And yeah, sadly he passed away a couple of years later.
And yeah, I still think about him a lot when I play music. I think about him and Joe a lot.
But yeah, so I had kind of referenced this on an earlier the producer episode where I talk about how I found my band in Brooklyn. Also found on Craigslist.
So I yeah, I had been in Brooklyn, I would say for like six months I had been dating that producer.
And I just got to the point where I was like, I really want to play out and I want to like diversify what I'm doing and see how looked on Craigslist and Brock had put out an ad and it was like the same kind I think he said something like
Massey star and I think that's what got me. But yeah, they kind of already had a band put together and they had been playing so it was Brock and his friend, Plucky Alex Plucky from college and Danny the bassist and they had been playing together a little bit.
And so I showed up and Brock had like his own songs. I had my own songs we kind of approached it like a Fleetwood Mac vibe and started playing around Brooklyn and practicing a lot out in Bushwick.
And yeah, that was awesome. That was like such a good experience to get back into the magic of playing live with people.
And I referenced in an earlier podcast episode how I screwed it up by sleeping with one of the members of the band.
Don't do that. I don't recommend it. I do not. It's not a good idea. And it will mess up your band. So sadly, that kind of completely through a wrench in my, my band situation and like look I'm friends with them.
And now we all moved on and and I mean Brock and I ended up working together later on the album I released in 2020 he produced it.
So yeah, it was all worked out in the end but overall like there's just really nothing else like playing live.
And I'm getting to the point where I'm really itching to get back out and I've played a couple shows, like by myself.
And actually, I do have a show coming up that I should talk about and this will be, I think most likely a solo show.
But I have a show in April that is part of this like artists group that I've done a couple shows with them before but shout out Laurent he puts this together and it's amazing.
But this concept is really interesting. So what we're doing, it's like telephone basically.
And so they're like 12 different artists, mixed media, some musicians, some comedians, some live performer, it's just it's the total mix.
But basically each artist has a month. So someone started with their, like each group got a prompt starting September 15.
So I'm the second one on the list. So as of October 15, I'm going to get a piece of work from this guy.
And I'm going to have a month to create a piece of music based on that work.
That piece of music, I'm then going to pass on actually to my friend Alex, my old roommate, who will create a visual art based on my music and then pass it on and so on.
So it's basically like telephone, but for artists.
And I'm really excited for it. I'm really interested to see what everybody comes up with and how the art works together.
So I'll definitely be promoting this more closer to April.
But yeah, it's a really interesting concept and I'm happy that I actually randomly met Laurent when I played a open mic night in West Village.
And I rarely do that where I show up to open mic nights, but I just was like feeling really called to at the time.
And this is your sign.
If you have a ping and I know I sound all hippie-dippy, but guess what? I am hippie-dippy.
If you have a ping, meaning like just something like in your gut that tells you to like go somewhere or do something and like listen to it.
Listen to it because that one thing will lead to another thing. You just don't know where that could go. And that's life.
So yeah, I'm really looking forward to that live performance, but all in all, I would like to play music again with people.
And specifically, I have never been in a band with women.
Okay, no, there was a girl Celia who played violin, who played with us once, but that was like, that was to the extent of it.
And I know I had the pop duo, but I'm talking about like a band where everybody's playing together.
I have never played with a woman or women.
And so I really want to put a girl band together for a couple of reasons.
And I, while I've done it, I think it's really, really, it's hard to find male musicians who don't cross that line.
Or really, I have a hard time believing in male friendships in general with single straight men, because so much of the time it crosses the line.
I'm just really in an era where like, I would love to put a band together that doesn't fall apart.
And I think my route, my next route is the girl band route.
So if you live in Midtown or New York City, and you like playing pop music and you want to get together and jam, hit me up.
Because I would love to put that together. And yeah, I've got a lot of material.
So stay tuned, y'all. I am definitely going to try to be booking gigs and promoting that here.
And yeah, as always, thanks for listening. Hope you liked my band backstory.
And yeah, have a good one, y'all. Love ya.