Welcome to Send Me On My Way.
I'm your host, Audrey Dean Kelly.
And on this podcast, we're gonna talk about everything
from music to pop culture to reality TV
to pretty much whatever I want.
So let's get into it.
All right, y'all, today I wanted to talk about fanatics.
My own history being a fanatic,
my then history with someone being a fan of my own,
and the fine line between adoration and obsession.
So let's get into it.
And this episode was inspired recently by Chappell Roan
putting up boundaries and rejecting fandom.
And historically, I have been quite a little fanatic.
Let me tell you, my first experience,
I was a new Kids on the Black fan
when I was like three years old,
my sisters and my cousins were fans.
So I was a big Donnie girl, guys.
Let me tell you, I had an airbrushed T-shirt
that my mom got for me at the mall that said,
I heart Donnie.
Honestly, mom, I hope we still have that
of all the stuff you've saved.
Pull that out of the archives.
So yeah, it said, I heart Donnie.
And yeah, I was obsessed.
I had a birthday party that my parents hired
like performers to come to that they pretended
like it was new kids on the block,
except like it was only three guys.
And somehow I believe for years that new kids on the block
came to my birthday, because I was like four.
And years later, I watched the VHS and alas, it was not.
But I was a Donnie girl all the way.
And that fandom definitely continued when I was,
gosh, when did the Spice Girls come out?
I was in third grade when they came out
and pretty much as soon as they came out,
I was obsessed.
And when I tell you, like that was my experience
with being a borderline crazy fanatic.
I was obsessed with Ginger Spice.
I remember I would stay home and I would put their CD on
and I would practice like, first of all,
I loved listening to the album.
This is how like now I know I was meant to do music.
It's like, I would listen to the album
and I loved breaking down who was singing each part.
And I loved working on mimicking the vocals
of each Spice Girl.
And like honestly, I could still do it.
I can still listen to the whole album
and I can tell you exactly who's singing at any time.
And like, I think most of us Spice Girl fans,
like, you know, Mel B definitely, Sporty Spice.
I love you, Balcy, am I getting confused?
Sporty Spice certainly vocally carried the Spice Girls
in a lot of ways, but I feel like I should edit that out.
I might get in trouble from people,
but let's be honest, she did.
But yeah, I was obsessed, guys, and I was so obsessed.
This was like, oh my God, you guys are gonna laugh.
This was right when AOL was coming out.
So this was back in the day when AOL first came out,
there were like chat rooms.
And third grade, Audrey and her friends
would get on these chat rooms,
these like Spice Girl chat rooms.
And I remember I like got,
I was chatting with some account called Jerry Sis,
no, no, Jerry Girl OO, Jerry Girl OO.
Because I would like, you could like look up
in the people list, like you could look for people.
And so I would look for the Spice Girls
and I convinced myself that this one account,
Jerry Girl OO was Ginger Spice,
and that we were chatting,
and because they fully were pretending to be.
And like in hindsight, I really hope this was somebody
that I know that was messing with me.
That would be amazing.
So if it was, please reveal yourself.
But in hindsight, it was probably some creepy old dude.
So, but that was the Wild West of AOL
when it first came out.
And you guys who lived it, we all know it.
I mean, our generation, it was some unfiltered shit,
let me tell you.
But I would talk to this account
and they convinced me they were Ginger Spice.
And so I was obsessed enough that I was AOL chatting
with, you know, creep thinking
that I was talking to this person.
So I certainly have had my days of obsession.
Lord knows when Britney Spears came out, I remember,
I mean, my friends from like seventh grade
will tell you stories about how I used to be like,
guys, wanna have a singing contest
to see who can sing baby one more time the best?
I'm like, they would all be like, no, Audrey, we don't.
We know you just wanna sing baby one more time for us.
So it would be my like sad excuse to be like,
listen to me, listen to me, listen to me.
And it's like I'm still doing that now.
But anyways, yeah, your girl has been a fanatic
many a times in her life.
And certainly part of why I became an artist
is because I had that fandom within me
that fueled my love of music and my love of singing
and I definitely am a better singer
because of how many hours I spent rehearsing
every single part of every single different
spice girl vocal trying to exactly match
what they were doing for sure.
So it's interesting because every artist
at some point has been a fanatic
and it's part of what fuels your artistry.
But as we see with Chapel Roe now becoming massively famous
very quickly, she's rejecting that fame.
And that stalker, the fans that cross the line,
the fans that cross the line between adoration to obsession
or the ones that expect something from you.
I think people forget, I mean, people act a fool
around celebrities, let me tell you.
Most of y'all act a fool around celebrities, you just do.
You're taking pictures of them,
thinking they don't notice, it's just,
there is a fine line people.
And I will say 99.999 percent of the population,
y'all don't know how to behave around celebrities.
So go figure our artists are putting up boundaries
and thank God.
So to also talk about my own experience with this,
when I was a performer and like y'all,
this was on a lower level.
I was playing shows in Arkansas.
I think I've alluded to this before.
I was like massively oversaturating my market.
Like God bless you guys that were booking me.
Shout out to all of those amazing bookies
across all of those bars in Arkansas
who knew that I was just playing every other night
and still giving me gigs.
Thank you, love you guys.
But I'm giving you that context because it was awesome
when people came out to see me, but there is a fine line
when you're playing every single,
every other night of the week,
when someone starts coming every single time,
that does start to, it goes from being supportive
to being creepy and I certainly had that.
And the guy that did it to me,
there was one guy that, yes, he came to every single show
and for a while at the time, I had a boyfriend
who was also coming to my shows who was like,
a bigger, he made it so that I felt safe
being there in spite of this person
who kept coming to every single show.
And it was definitely, he crossed a line,
he crossed a big line and when that relationship ended,
he immediately at my next show asked me out and I said no.
He asked me to go away with him to California and I said,
it was to the point that I remember leaving shows
and I'm talking about, I remember playing one show
in West Littorock and it was in this bar
where people could still smoke inside of the bar,
so this was a brutal show to play,
but it was a four hour gig and I would play this
and this dude stayed until the very end of my set
and I know some of you guys are gonna say,
he was supporting your music, I'm sorry,
but staying till the end of a grueling four hour set
when you've been to the same exact set,
I mean, granted, I didn't play the same set every night,
I played a lot, I let people do covers,
but this guy had seen me every other night before that,
so to stay that long till the end,
I remember leaving those shows being so fucking creeped out
and literally looking in my rear view mirror
as I was driving home,
trying to make sure nobody was following me
and yes, you guys may say that's paranoid,
but if that happened to me on such a low level of artistry
as far as the number of fans,
then imagine what that's like when you get
on a much higher level.
I can't even wrap my brain around it,
I don't think any of us can wrap our brains around it
and I don't think that most people can wrap their brains
around the mind fuck that is becoming famous
and becoming famous at the warp speed that she just did
to the level that she just did.
So look, she's been working at this for a long ass time
and I am not coming on here to say
that she hasn't worked on this for a long time
she has, but she has had a meteoric rise in the past
eight months, six months
and Chapel is putting up boundaries
and she's rejecting this fame
because she has lost a lot of freedom
and there is a downside to being famous,
there just is, there are a lot of wonderful, amazing things
that come along with it, don't get me wrong,
but to give up one's personal freedom,
it's not worth it for, in my opinion,
it would not be worth giving up those personal freedoms
unless you were doing it to be able to do what you love
and even if you get it that way,
psychologically being able to comprehend your own identity
when it changes that rapidly
and I think that's why you see her now
really making a distinction of Chapel Rhone is not just me,
it is my project and she's doing that
because her end game has never been fame.
Now, no, I know you guys are gonna correct me on that,
look, yes, her end game has been fame
in the sense that if you want to be successful
as a musician, in most cases, you have to be famous.
So it's a byproduct of success in her artistry
and that's a very, very, very different thing
from chasing fame just to be famous.
I'm someone who, look, I would love for this podcast
to be successful, I would love for my music to be successful.
If that meant me becoming famous
because I was successful in those fields,
then I would want that.
Would I ever go on a reality show and lose my anonymous walks
in Central Park with my kids
and going to the grocery store
and I am not someone who likes strangers coming up to me now.
So Lord knows, I wouldn't like it
when I would be super famous, so I get it, I get it.
And you're allowed to want to be successful in your art
and not be doing it because you want to be famous.
You're allowed to reject that
and I think it's refreshing.
And I think, look, there's an amazing podcast
by this girl, Coco Moko.
She talks about, you guys should definitely go listen to it.
I linked it already, but I'll link it again.
She talks about Chapel Roan's Rise
and how it's linked to Pluto moving from Capricorn to Aquarius.
It's brilliant, you should go listen to it,
but she has a really interesting insight in that Capricorn,
Pluto and Capricorn, which has happened
since basically the apprentice came out
and all of the Kardashians,
it's been in Capricorn, which is a very money,
success-driven sign.
It's all about, that's why you've seen people
like showing off success.
Our art talks about how fame has been very linked
to being flashy and showy and how now that it's moving
into Aquarius, she talks about how Aquarius rejects that
and you're gonna see more of like a collective
and it's just, I have to tell you, it's so fascinating.
Go listen to it, go follow her account.
She really does, if you're into astrology
and I am very into astrology,
but she does a really interesting intersection
between astrology and pop culture
and it's just, mwah, chef's kiss, baby, it's great.
But yeah, in general, I think it's great
that artists are putting up boundaries.
You need to see that because look,
we've seen the opposite of that
and you have artists like Britney Spears
who have been victims of fame and their success
and if she weren't to put up these boundaries
and take this time and really try to give herself grace
in what she's taking on, if she doesn't do that,
she will burn out and we have to protect
our artist's mental health, especially the ones we love.
Especially, I mean, just give her the space she needs
and be grateful that she's not in it for the fame.
I think that's great, she's in it because it's her art
but yeah, y'all should also listen to me, listen.
Y'all stop acting fools around these celebrities.
Just stop it, like it's so tacky, just here's some rules.
If they're sitting at dinner,
especially if they're sitting at dinner with their family,
do not go up to them, do not interrupt their dinner
to ask them for an autograph.
If they're out with their kids,
you are not gonna stop them to take a photo with them,
they're out with their children, do not talk to them.
Yeah, honestly, unless they open up a conversation with you,
I think it's kind of tacky to approach people
and I mean, drunkenly, I think I've done it
in clubs when I was younger.
I had a really cringy time that I did that with Bruce Willis
and I think that was the one time in my life
where I randomly went up to a celebrity
and I immediately was like, oh, I hate that I did that
and I will never do that again.
But in general, y'all just let them be and you know what?
If you're just a little bit cooler,
you gotta kind of act like a cat, let them come to you
and then you might actually strike up a conversation.
Maybe they will wanna talk to you,
but that's not what y'all are doing
and you're approaching it all wrong.
Give them space, let them be,
do not try to take their photo like they don't notice.
They notice, it's tacky, don't do it
and you don't own them just because
they are a public persona, they are a person.
They are a human being.
So that comes to the end of my show.
As always, thanks for listening y'all.
Love y'all.
Music The heist
In the middle of July, you set my heart on fire
Now you're just a memory and a phase over time
We've run bright, we've run fast, I'm a lover, I've never lied
I can see you smoking in the sun, drink a rose
And you're singing near your home
We were in the Mercedes with a window down
Without an air, we can't speed it now
Took a train out to Quar, show me off to your friends
Try it on full size, but it didn't quiet it
Like a fever train, light a face and I
Time became fast and we said goodbye
Summer's late, it's short and sweet, so let's dance around the play rough winds
On the beach, some hearts can't be taken
We've so longed and we're slow feeling fine
We've run bright, we've run fast, I'm a lover, I've never lied
I can see you smoking in the sun, drink a rose
And you're singing near your home
We were in the Mercedes with a window down
Without an air, we can't speed it now
I can see you smoking in the sun, drink a rose
And you're singing near your home
We were in the Mercedes with a window down
Without an air, we can't speed it now
I can see you smoking in the sun, drink a rose
And you're singing near your home
We were in the Mercedes with a window down
Without an air, we can't speed it now
We were in the Mercedes with a window down
Without an air, we can't speed it now