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Hello friends, welcome back to another episode of the C&S podcast.

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Our guest today is Armin Kadiwala.

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He is a philanthropist, an entrepreneur, and a father.

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So often it seems that in order to win in something, we have to lose at something else.

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To win at our career, we must sacrifice personal time.

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To raise a family, we let our health take a backseat.

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Armin decided to defy this narrative, taking an unconventional path to succeed in all areas

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of life.

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Today, we will discuss how Armin overcame his father's early death, why he chose to

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take an unconventional path, how he handles failure, how the stories you tell yourself

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control you, how he manages to be a high performer while being there for his family, what his

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daily routine for success looks like, and much more.

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If you are enjoying these episodes, I'd ask you to do a small favor for me.

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This show can only grow from word of mouth, so please share it with someone who you think

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would find it valuable.

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A friend, family member, or coworker, or even on your feed.

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Thanks for listening.

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You know, when you ask about who I am, I always think about just my foundation and faith first.

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So I'm a man of God.

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I'm a husband to my wife, Jamila.

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I'm a father to my two boys, Nico and Dominic.

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I'm a business owner.

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I'm a friend.

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I'm a member of my community that I care deeply about.

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I'm a person that has a lot of energy about life, and I feel blessed every day that I get

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to wake up and that I get to get after it.

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Yeah.

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I like having to find yourself first by not your job, not your career, but your husband.

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Your father.

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Yeah.

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Community member.

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Making sure to help a lot of people around you out.

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That's something I really appreciate about you.

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Thanks, man.

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Thank you.

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You're always trying to help people.

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Well, it's cool.

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We got to meet that way, right, through that opportunity when I heard you speak in, and

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I was super impressed by you not letting your past define who you are, but just seeing

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that there are people that care deeply about you and that you knew what was then possible.

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For you to take that was super impressive to me.

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We met through a community engagement as well, which was fantastic.

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I wanted to break into a little bit about how you ended up where you are.

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Sure.

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I know you talked about your father's passing a little bit, and how that was a turning point

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in your life.

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Yeah.

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Before then, you were studying business.

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You were not really sure what you wanted out of life.

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Yeah.

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How did that impact you?

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Yeah.

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I feel like every day you wake up and you have an opportunity to make a decision, but life

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is really about a series of choices.

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When my father passed away, I was just starting to become a man.

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I was a young kid, and that really rocked my world, because you're thinking, okay,

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I had all this time with this guy.

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I'm going to get all this wisdom from him.

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He's going to help me really step into this next phase in my life.

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Cool.

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You're doing the motions a little bit of your kid.

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Then all of a sudden, one day, you moved from a kid to being a man in a moment.

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I realized that, okay, I got to make some decisions now on what my life to look like.

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Here's the thing.

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It's maybe similar to what you would attest to.

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I was super blessed to be surrounded by people that cared deeply about our family and about

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my brother and myself.

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They're willing to tell us the truth.

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A lot of people go in this world, and they're afraid to say what really needs to be said.

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Proverbs 27.6, it's really about that your true friends will tell you the truth.

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He had some people really talk to us openly about, hey, look, you have a choice to make

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in your life right now.

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Your dad was creating this legacy, and he believed deeply in these things.

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You have a choice to make.

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You can complain about him passing away and what you don't have, or you can make a decision

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to say, am I going to continue to carry that torch?

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For me, it was like, it just struck me.

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I said, what does my last name mean?

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Not literally, but what does it mean?

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What does it stand for?

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That has now decades later turned into, every day I think about that.

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Now I think about it in a different context, because I think about it as to my kids.

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It just changed me in that moment.

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I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't angry.

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I was angry.

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My why?

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You go through all those motions in your head.

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Why would this happen to us?

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Why would it happen to him?

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He never did anything to anybody.

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He just loved people.

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I quickly figured out it's not about why or why not.

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It's just a matter of, God needed him at that moment.

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I've realized that now over time.

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I didn't understand that at that moment.

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Now I get it.

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It's not for me to really understand as much as me to say, okay, what are we going to do

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with that?

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I made a choice and I make a choice every single day to say, well, how am I going to

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lead my life in honor of that legacy that started.

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Now I'm a steward of that torch.

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How would you define that torch?

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When you think about when they came to this country, it was in the 60s.

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They wanted opportunity, not again just for themselves, but for their future family.

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Their whole vision was how do we come and then how do we bring others and then how do

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we create this foundation so that our family can continue to grow here.

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It was always a foundation of family.

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I think one of the things that's really important to my wife and I as part of that torch is

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how do we make sure that the foundation of faith and family are the bedrock to who we

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are.

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Everything is really built around those things and then it comes from that.

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How do you continue to pursue excellence?

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That was something that was really important to him, to never be okay with okay, to never

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just be satisfied.

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It's different than to not be appreciative in gratitude, but also to say how can you

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continue to improve every single day.

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That's a lot of just who I am.

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It's interesting, a lot of times you have those things inside of you and you need people

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around you to see the gifts inside of you to help you bring those gifts about.

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He started helping me see that and then I've been blessed again with so many people around

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me that have helped me see what's possible in myself.

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My first reaction to hearing that your dad passed away when you were 19 is that I didn't

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really start getting close to my dad until I was 19.

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I would have never had that period of time where it's like, okay, my dad is starting

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to pass down wisdom and knowledge.

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Before then, I just went in one ear out the other.

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You tell me, oh, you have to learn to work hard and I'd be like, I want to stay in bed.

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Until I was 19, I understood.

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I was like, oh, I see what my dad's been doing.

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I see how he's been teaching me things, helping me along the way.

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I love that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And so, yeah, you lost that bit of it and you had to learn from your dad with him being

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gone and see what did he do back then that I've seen.

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Yes.

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What are the pieces that I can pick up?

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Exactly.

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That's really cool.

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Yeah.

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You also mentioned that you had the right people around you that were willing to tell

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you the right things or the hard things.

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First off, who were the right people, what was different about them and what were they

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willing to tell you that other people wouldn't?

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Well, first, I want to start with my mother.

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So imagine you're married to the love of your life and all of a sudden that person's not

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in your life anymore, but you're responsible for your kids.

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Yeah.

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Right?

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And so no matter what, it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, your responsibility

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hadn't changed.

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It just became more paramount.

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Now it's all on you.

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And so I'd start first with my mother saying, all right, I got this.

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And she put us on her back and said, we're going to be good as a family because she realized

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that and she taught us that.

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So that was the first thing.

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But beyond that, my mother was always giving to community and she taught us that.

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She taught us that because we've been blessed, it's important that we don't keep those blessings,

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but we share them with others and we help others see what's possible.

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And so we were just super focused.

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She taught us how to connect with people, how to talk to people, how to question, how

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to have interactions with people, almost to a point of annoyance.

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I was like, please, I do not want to go to another party when I'm a kid.

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I don't want to be a part of this or a part of that.

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I don't want to learn those things.

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It just became almost like too much.

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But in retrospect, I look back and I'm like, man, thank God that she taught us those things

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because she taught us how to communicate, how to interact, how to love on others, how to

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share with others, how to be a great member of the community.

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And because of those things, we were surrounded by people that cared deeply about us and we're

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willing to be there when we most needed them, which is really how you know your true friends

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and the ones that aren't.

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But that's how it started.

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And then if I may, I'll go into career.

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Being with the right organization is so important because mentor, I believe deeply in mentorship

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and I believe that people, everyone has a gift.

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Like if you think about the way you're made, every day you should be seeking out saying

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that what is the gift that I've been blessed with that I need to be using in this world?

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Right?

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And you need people to help you see those gifts.

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And so being in part of the right organization where there's opportunity for mentorship,

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for guidance, for challenge, for showing you what's possible, not doing it for you, but

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encouraging you by creating disciplines and accountability, that's all good, right?

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By allowing you to get knocked on your rear end and have to get back up, but having a

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culture that welcomes that that says that's the gift.

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I always say the struggle is the gift.

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And I've realized that over time that being a part of those environments has helped cultivate,

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you know, seeing things inside of me and have cultivated them into reality.

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Because I didn't know.

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I was like, I'm just an average kid.

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I always thought of myself that way.

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I'm like, average, I'm going to get a J-O-B.

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I'm just average.

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And I don't know if I was okay with that, but that's just how I had that mentality.

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And what I've realized is, no, that's not about that.

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And it's not about me being better than you or anybody.

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It was always in about, well, how do I become better than who I was yesterday?

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And if I just have that mentality every single day, then what's really possible, right?

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And it's not about me ever being, I think that people, you know, people having accomplishments

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in life, they show you what's possible.

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But too many people get caught up and go, I want to be like that person.

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And I've learned that it's not about me wanting to be like that person.

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It's saying that, hey, I love that that person has done that.

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Let's celebrate that.

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And now I know that not only is that possible, but what about, what's next?

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And how do we start aiming for that?

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So that's really what I've been taught in life and now how I live my life.

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Yeah.

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They're showing you the path that's available forward, right?

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If you have people around you who all the paths you see are run-of-the-mill, are not

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unconventional, then that's the only things you think are possible.

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Yeah.

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You've never seen anything else.

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Totally.

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And so you see someone go an unconventional route.

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You might not follow the exact same path.

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But you will see that an unconventional path is possible.

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It's possible to make it through that.

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And you mentioned that the struggle is the way through.

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That's like the thing that makes us stronger, makes us better.

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One of my friends sent me a quote yesterday, which was like, the cave that you fear to

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enter holds the exact treasure that you desire.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah.

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And that just reminded me of that because so often it's like the thing that we want

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is just right behind some layer of fear, layer of insecurity, layer of a limiting belief.

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It's like, and the only way to get to where you want is to enter into that.

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Yeah.

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I mean, you're right.

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It's the standard that we hold ourselves to.

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It's really important every single day because we've got to expect a lot from ourselves.

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And if I may, you know, I think about the world that we're in today.

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So often it's about, I think, stealing pain.

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It's about soothing the pain.

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It's about making sure that we feather the fall.

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We don't want to get hurt because our emotions are too sensitive.

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And what is that really preparing us for?

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You know, have you heard of the saying where hard times make strong men, strong men make

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00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:14,080
good times, good times make weak men, weak men make hard times?

241
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,080
Yeah.

242
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:21,960
And I feel like right now we have a lot of weakness and we have to create synthetic struggle

243
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:28,400
oftentimes, but we can't avoid struggle and struggle is not bad.

244
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:33,600
I think that a lot of times we think, oh, geez, it's more of a pain or it's too hard

245
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,600
or whatever.

246
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,600
I'm like, no, that's good.

247
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,720
Like, hard is good because you learn from hard.

248
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,360
You learn how to, like you can theoretically read about, you know, people that have struggled

249
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:46,200
in their life and go, yeah, one day, you know, if I'm in that position, I would totally do

250
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,200
that.

251
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,200
It's like, really?

252
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,200
Yeah.

253
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,200
Maybe, maybe not.

254
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,200
But if you're not prepared for it, then how do you know?

255
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:55,080
So, yeah, if you don't have struggling in your life created, you know, go study something

256
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,080
that's really difficult.

257
00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:00,280
We'll get a job that's like totally out of the realm of what you would normally do and

258
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:01,280
see if you can do it.

259
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,280
Right?

260
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:07,760
Go commit to running a marathon and you know, if the furthest you've ever run is a mile.

261
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,760
Right?

262
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,000
You can do it if you want.

263
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,720
So how do you create, how do you live a life like that?

264
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,520
And you have to set high standards for that.

265
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:21,520
But I'm like, man, if you're blessed with one life, one shot, and today was your last

266
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,520
day.

267
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,280
Well, how would you ever not just leave it all out there?

268
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,640
Yeah, put it all out on the court.

269
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:29,640
Yeah.

270
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:30,640
100%.

271
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:31,640
Yeah.

272
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,400
I read this, this guy, like, you know, there's all these people that always send these messages

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00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,400
out.

274
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,640
One of them that I read every day, it always starts with today is the most important day

275
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,040
of your life.

276
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,040
That's impactful.

277
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,040
I know.

278
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,040
And I read that every day.

279
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,040
I'm like, that's awesome.

280
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,800
Like, that's like a glass of water in the face.

281
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,800
It totally is.

282
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,800
Yeah.

283
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,640
You wake up and you're like, oh, I'm going to go through the motions.

284
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,640
I'll go to work.

285
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,000
I'll do what I need to do.

286
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,040
But if it's the most important day of your life, what would you do?

287
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,040
What would you do differently?

288
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:05,320
Well, and so if you approach it every day like that, I just think that you would think totally

289
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,320
differently.

290
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:11,480
But so many people are just doing the motions and they're going, man, one day when I get

291
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:16,800
here, or one day when I get this, or one day when I'm in this position, then I will.

292
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:17,800
Yeah.

293
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,360
And I'm like, no, you got to do that now.

294
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,360
Yeah.

295
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,360
I'm like, 100%.

296
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,160
I was just thinking about the, oh, I'll do this when?

297
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,160
Yeah.

298
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:31,160
Because I think this actually happens really often, maybe like guys in regards to dating.

299
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,560
It happens a lot.

300
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,200
I've seen it so many times.

301
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,000
It's like, you might have a friend and they're like, you know, I'm not really looking for

302
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,200
something right now until like this happens.

303
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:45,160
So I get a better job or until I get to a new city or until I like get in the gym.

304
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,160
Yeah.

305
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,720
And it's like, no, life is today.

306
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:48,720
Yeah.

307
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:52,160
So nothing's going to change by you like moving to a new city.

308
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,160
Yeah.

309
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,160
The problems follow you.

310
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,160
Yeah.

311
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,160
Right.

312
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,160
Right.

313
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,160
And you're right.

314
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,440
I mean, it's a, have you heard of this, um, this comparison of, of cows and buffaloes

315
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,440
in a storm?

316
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,960
No, I've never heard this one.

317
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:08,280
So cows, it's storm, let's say in Colorado, right?

318
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,960
We've got the front range and the mountains and the storms come from the west going east,

319
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:12,960
right over the mountains.

320
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,720
And they always, they almost always flow that way.

321
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,760
So you see the clouds run over the mountains.

322
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,040
You know, the storm is coming.

323
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,040
The cows tend to run away from the storm.

324
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,040
Okay.

325
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,040
Right.

326
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,480
And that seems like the naturally, the, the smart thing to do, I'm going to run away

327
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:26,480
from it.

328
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,480
Well, what are you doing?

329
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,520
The rain starts catching you and then you elongate the storm.

330
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,520
Yeah.

331
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,520
And you keep trying to run away from it, but it's catching up.

332
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,200
And it keeps coming after you.

333
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:39,400
Whereas the buffaloes go, storms come and they run into it and they close the gap.

334
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,400
Right.

335
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,840
And they meet the storm head on.

336
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:42,840
They go, let's go.

337
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:43,840
Right.

338
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,120
And then they get through it and then they become stronger and better for it.

339
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,120
Yeah.

340
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,560
So I think I use that as a metaphor for my life.

341
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:55,640
I'm like, if the storm is there, if the challenge is there, just, just lean into it.

342
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,640
Yeah.

343
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,640
Right.

344
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,640
And go, all right, don't be afraid of it.

345
00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,640
Right.

346
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,840
And courage is not the absence of fear is acting in light of it.

347
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:02,840
Yep.

348
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,040
So just have courage and go, okay, cool.

349
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,040
I can be scared.

350
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,040
That's okay.

351
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,040
Yeah.

352
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,840
But I sure as heck, I'm not going to learn anything unless I do something.

353
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:15,200
So easier said than done, but, but courage is a habit.

354
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,200
Courage is a habit.

355
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,800
It's something that can't be faked.

356
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,800
Can't be faked.

357
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,720
No, because everyone feels fear.

358
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:25,520
The only difference between the courageous person and the non courageous one is acting

359
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,520
in face of the fear.

360
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,520
Totally.

361
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,520
Can't be faked.

362
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,520
Impossible.

363
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,520
Love that.

364
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,520
And it's amazing that knowing that at your age right now is going to serve you so well

365
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,520
in your life.

366
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,520
Hope so, man.

367
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:35,520
I promise.

368
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,520
I hope so.

369
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,520
I promise.

370
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,160
I was curious about, you mentioned that the thing that plagued you was you always felt

371
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,160
average.

372
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,320
And something that I found in my life is that a lot of times I'll overcome a problem or

373
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,960
an insecurity and it comes back in a sneakier way.

374
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,800
Does that ever come back for you?

375
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,440
You know, I love what you're saying.

376
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:04,440
You know, we're not infallible to feelings and emotions getting the better of us.

377
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,440
None of us are.

378
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,160
In fact, I don't think that life is about avoiding those things.

379
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,120
I think it's about closing the gap, right?

380
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:15,800
So we get knocked down every day, you know, name it.

381
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,080
There's stuff that's happened today.

382
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,880
Some of it's a little bit more of a knockdown than others and some of it's like little minor

383
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,880
things.

384
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:25,400
But what I've learned is that the most successful people in this world are not the ones that

385
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,400
stay knocked down.

386
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,320
They're the ones that get back up quick and they get going again.

387
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,880
They keep taking action and moving forward.

388
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:39,800
And so what you got to teach yourself is not about avoiding the fall, but about creating

389
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,200
the habit of saying how can I get up and get going quickly?

390
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:47,360
And the only way that you can do that is one, I think it's important that you change your

391
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,360
physiology.

392
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:52,240
So if you like, let's say you're sitting at a desk and you get a bad phone call, right?

393
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,240
Somebody was agreeing to do something with you, let's say in your business and then they

394
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,240
change your mind.

395
00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,400
Okay, that could be, that could be hard, right?

396
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,760
What do you need to do about it?

397
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:03,760
Like cry about it?

398
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,760
Nobody cares.

399
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:09,760
So stand up, go outside, maybe take a deep breath, fresh air, come back in and go, okay,

400
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:15,880
all right, what are two things that I can do, two positives that I can get, two actions

401
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:20,480
that I can take to now negate the one negative.

402
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,400
So I'm still plus one.

403
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:29,880
So I've created this habit of saying if I get a no, I'm going to go find two yeses,

404
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,160
relentless forward momentum, right?

405
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,480
Two steps forward, one step back, but I'm still positive.

406
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,960
You will not defeat me.

407
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,800
You just can't because I will always go get one more win than the one that you took away.

408
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,240
And so I'm still plus one.

409
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,240
And I just have this in my head.

410
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:51,040
I'm like, you will not, you will not win.

411
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,600
Nothing you do will take me down.

412
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,640
You can come at me all you want, but I'm always going to keep fighting.

413
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:06,440
And what I think a lot of people do in this life is they get the no and they sit in it.

414
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,480
I like, oh my gosh, what does this mean?

415
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,480
And then they start getting into story.

416
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,840
See, I'm not good enough.

417
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,840
I can't do this.

418
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:15,840
Yeah.

419
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,160
Look at the guys or the gals down the hall.

420
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,720
She's always getting the deal and I'm not.

421
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,440
Maybe I should just change my job.

422
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,680
Maybe I should change my career.

423
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,040
I knew I was never going to be good as this.

424
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,720
Those people that are doing really well, they're the ones that had the best market or the best

425
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,600
ideas or the best language or the best suits or the best haircut or whatever.

426
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,600
And I don't have those things.

427
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,600
Yeah.

428
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,600
I don't have something you don't have.

429
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,600
And I'm not worthy.

430
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,600
Yeah.

431
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:39,600
Yeah.

432
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,600
They always have something better than me.

433
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,800
And then you get into the story that you're telling yourself and then you go, you know

434
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,600
what, I got an idea.

435
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,600
I'm going to go home.

436
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,240
I'm going to sleep this off.

437
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,240
Then I'll come back tomorrow.

438
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,240
I'll be prepared.

439
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:52,240
I'll be energized.

440
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,440
But then I come back tomorrow and I'm like, man, I'm still feeling like garbage.

441
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,160
I wonder why.

442
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,480
And then they start thinking about that again.

443
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,640
And you start reinforcing that garbage story that you said in your head about how you're

444
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,240
not good enough.

445
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,160
And you get stuck in this pattern.

446
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,280
And that pattern keeps feeding on itself.

447
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,840
And then you manifest that into your reality.

448
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,840
And I think that's what happens to so many people in life.

449
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,920
They're poor storytellers.

450
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,920
You know, everything happens twice, once in your head and once in reality.

451
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,560
And so how do you tell yourself a good story?

452
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,880
You make it a habit of finding success.

453
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,360
So that's what I've learned.

454
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,360
Yeah.

455
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:33,520
And so when you end up having those moments where you say a negative story about yourself,

456
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,040
your brain starts looking for evidence to validate the story.

457
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,720
So it's like, oh, I'm not good enough.

458
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,920
Now you go outside and you're looking for evidence that you're not good enough and you'll find

459
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:43,920
it.

460
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:48,560
You'll find evidence for any story your brain creates about yourself.

461
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,080
The only thing you can do is create a different story.

462
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,000
And then it starts looking for evidence of that.

463
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,640
Oh, I am successful.

464
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:56,640
Okay.

465
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,040
Every day you walk out, what is the evidence that you are successful?

466
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,400
And then you just find it.

467
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:08,320
And in the same way that the negative loop, snowballs, so can the positive loop.

468
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,600
And so it's remembering every day what is the story I'm telling about myself.

469
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,840
So how do you go about doing that for yourself though?

470
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:20,320
So for myself, I often get caught in those thought loops, the negative ones.

471
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,000
And then I look for evidence for the contrary.

472
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,000
That's how I do it.

473
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,760
So I'll be like, oh, my life sucks.

474
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:31,040
So whatever is going on in my head that day, like I'm not good enough.

475
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,040
I'm doing this podcast.

476
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,800
Nobody's going to listen.

477
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,820
And so I look for evidence to the contrary.

478
00:23:36,820 --> 00:23:41,160
After I released the first episode, I got a ton of kind messages from friends and family

479
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,400
that were like, oh, I love your podcast.

480
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,880
Like I had a great time listening to it.

481
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,840
And some of them even took the time to write a longer message, like reacting to it.

482
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,040
This is what I took away from it.

483
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,960
This is what I learned.

484
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,480
And that was just like, oh, this is evidence.

485
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,080
It's evidence to the contrary.

486
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,520
Maybe I am making something good.

487
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,720
Maybe it's not true that I'm not good enough.

488
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:05,720
And so looking for those small pieces of evidence could be as simple as someone just like smiling

489
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:06,720
at you through the day.

490
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:07,720
Yeah.

491
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,720
Like, oh, nobody likes me.

492
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:09,720
Someone smiles at you.

493
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,640
You're like, oh, maybe people do like me.

494
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,400
And so that's my strategy for it is find evidence in the outside world that the negative story

495
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,120
I'm telling myself is not true.

496
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,320
I love it though.

497
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,880
You find evidence, which is reality.

498
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,560
And the reality is it doesn't support your BS story.

499
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,200
Yeah, exactly.

500
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:33,600
And so with imposter syndrome, one of my favorite, I think, I forget where the quote's from,

501
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,880
but it's like, at a certain point, you have enough evidence in the real world to prove

502
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,720
that you're not an imposter.

503
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:44,200
And it becomes more about your addiction to feeling like an imposter than actually being

504
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,200
an imposter.

505
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,760
So you almost want to be an imposter because it actually feeds who you think you are.

506
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:50,760
Yeah.

507
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:51,760
Yeah.

508
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:52,760
Yeah.

509
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:53,760
Exactly.

510
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:54,760
It's feeding that loop of insecurity.

511
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:55,760
Yeah.

512
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,800
And whatever trauma might be coming from that, it's feeding into that.

513
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,280
But at a certain point, you have enough evidence.

514
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,920
The only choice is to not feel like an imposter anymore.

515
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,920
Yeah.

516
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:06,920
Right.

517
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:07,920
Well, it's interesting too.

518
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,160
It's hard to do that on your own.

519
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:16,080
So how have you developed relationships and how do you choose who you want in your life

520
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,120
and who you don't want in your life?

521
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,560
That's a great question.

522
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:24,760
For me, it's always been listen to advice from people that are where you want to be.

523
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:25,760
Yeah.

524
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:26,760
Right.

525
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:32,440
And so you can get advice from anyone, like the person next door to you, your neighbor,

526
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,840
some person on the street.

527
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,400
But not all advice is equal.

528
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,400
Not all people's opinions about your life are equal.

529
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,400
That's good.

530
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,680
And so it's the people that know you and that are where you want to be that you should listen

531
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:46,840
to.

532
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,640
And that's how I've been trying to lead my life.

533
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:54,720
Even this podcast is part of that larger philosophy is, okay, I want to talk to you.

534
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,920
I want to talk to people who are where I want to be.

535
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:57,920
Yeah.

536
00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:58,920
How do I do that?

537
00:25:58,920 --> 00:25:59,920
Yeah.

538
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:00,920
And how do I share that with the world as well?

539
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:01,920
So.

540
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,920
That's great.

541
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,640
Find people that I think will be interesting, will be able to share some learnings with

542
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,120
me and then follow my curiosity.

543
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:10,120
Terrific.

544
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,120
Yeah.

545
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:12,120
Yeah.

546
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:15,040
I had a question for you.

547
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:20,160
First off, I want to know what your daily routine looks like because I know you're chasing

548
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:25,600
challenge often, you're making sure that you're not getting comfortable, you're also raising

549
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,600
a family.

550
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,920
What does that daily routine look like?

551
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:36,520
So I think, again, when I talk about discipline being a habit, I'm very disciplined in my

552
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:41,140
mornings in my warm-up to the day.

553
00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:46,320
So I have two different wake-up times to pay in the workout regimen that's going on in

554
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,320
the morning.

555
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,320
Four or four or 45 a.m.

556
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,320
But the routine that follows is exactly the same.

557
00:26:53,320 --> 00:27:00,440
I get up, I get my gym clothes on, I grab my cup of coffee, I sit in my office, I pull

558
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:07,440
out my journal, I write down three areas of my life, out of six that I have in my vision

559
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,440
statement, three areas in particular that I want to focus on that day.

560
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:17,600
And then what I want to do in those three areas so that I look back at the end of the

561
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,160
day and say, I had success in those areas.

562
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,000
So what do I want to accomplish in those three areas?

563
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:29,280
And then I focus on what I'm grateful for that morning.

564
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,040
Where do I have gratitude in my life?

565
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:37,000
And let me express that by thinking about it and by writing it and seeing it.

566
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:42,240
And then I read my vision statement every day.

567
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:48,640
And my vision statement is in the present tense, I am these things in these areas.

568
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:53,880
And then I pray my morning prayer.

569
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,680
And right now I happen to be reading the Bible.

570
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,400
So I read a couple of verses of the Bible.

571
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,360
And then I look at my calendar.

572
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:06,960
That takes about 45 minutes.

573
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:14,400
By that point, I'm already winning because I'm living the person that I know I am to

574
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,400
be.

575
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:20,320
And I'm living from a position of abundance, of gratitude, of appreciation for the blessings

576
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,640
that are in my life.

577
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,680
It doesn't matter what comes after, right?

578
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:31,040
Because I'm in a position of seeing whatever comes at me as an opportunity, right?

579
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,760
Too many people get up and what are they, what's the first thing they do?

580
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:34,760
Scroll on their phone.

581
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,760
Yeah, exactly.

582
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,640
So how's the news been these days?

583
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,800
I mean, what's positive anymore?

584
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,000
Yeah, the news is all bad news.

585
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,640
The world's ending, right?

586
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,600
Or they look at their emails and I'm like, man, you're going to leave your life up to

587
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,120
getting a good email to make sure that your day is going to go well?

588
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,760
Give me a break.

589
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,000
I don't want to start my day that way.

590
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:00,160
I'd rather be in control of whatever's between here and here, between my ears, right?

591
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,800
And make sure that I have that centered.

592
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,800
You know, your brain's a machine.

593
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,080
It's a muscle.

594
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:07,760
How are you building that muscle every day?

595
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,760
So that's my daily morning routine.

596
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:15,680
And then I work out and then I get dressed and then I go about my way.

597
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,680
But get dressed in the spiffy suits, dude.

598
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,680
Every day always looking fire.

599
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:25,000
Well, you know, I mean, all of us are putting on our superhero suits every day.

600
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,240
This happens to be mine because of the line of work I do.

601
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:32,560
But you know, you got to put on something that's going to help you reinforce who you

602
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,840
are and make sure that it's reinforcing that million dollar mentality, right?

603
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,840
That I feel like a million bucks.

604
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,840
I'm a winner.

605
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:38,840
I got this.

606
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:39,840
Let's go.

607
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:40,840
Right.

608
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:46,960
And I think the way that you take care of yourself and we get into this later, but how

609
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:47,960
do you fuel your body?

610
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:48,960
Yeah.

611
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,280
You know, I'm super sensitive to what I put inside of my body.

612
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,720
Thank God my wife is like one of the most healthy, healthiest people I've ever met in

613
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,040
my life.

614
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,000
She's and I are super healthy.

615
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:03,760
We're very cognizant about the fuel that we put into our body to make sure that we can

616
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,880
be everything that we've been talking about and optimize that, right?

617
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,600
Your whole health starts with your bio.

618
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,240
And so anyway, so eating healthy is really important.

619
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:18,280
And at the end of the day, I'm in a similar state, right?

620
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:26,080
Where I want to make sure that I am not connected to the things that happen today, determining

621
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,160
whether or not I had a good day or not.

622
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,520
You know, I almost don't like it when people are like, how was your day?

623
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:31,520
Did you have a good day?

624
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:32,520
Like, it doesn't matter.

625
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:37,000
Like good day is a choice, you know, but I want to reflect on, Hey, what were our blessings

626
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,000
for today?

627
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:43,480
And let me make sure that I'm feeling, you know, closure to today and energized about

628
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:48,000
tomorrow and then go to bed and let's get up and let's get fighting again.

629
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:52,560
And seems like you're, you have a pretty tight schedule, pretty disciplined.

630
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:59,520
How do you manage to balance yourself as a high performer with also raising your kids,

631
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,560
taking care of your wife and making sure that you're not leaving that on the sidelines?

632
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:04,560
Yeah.

633
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:09,040
So, but first of all, I think my wife and I take care of each other.

634
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:16,360
But we, you know, when you have faith and then you have a relationship with your wife

635
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,280
and then your kids, nothing else really matters.

636
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,120
And so those things are foundational.

637
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:31,680
As far as time and I think the word of intentionality is critical.

638
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:39,080
Making sure that your life has the most important things on the calendar first is really important.

639
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:43,320
So those things that are on your calendar need to be aligned with your values.

640
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,160
It's really important to have a family dinner every night.

641
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,880
So that's priority.

642
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,960
It's important that we're engaged in our kids' lives.

643
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:53,960
So that's a priority.

644
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:58,200
For instance, I coached football for my younger son's football team.

645
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,200
Right.

646
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,840
It takes a lot of my time, but it's on the calendar and I built my life around it.

647
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:04,840
Right.

648
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:09,280
So make sure that I'm not giving up on making sure that my business is still continuing to

649
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,280
grow, for instance.

650
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,800
I'm not going to do that to the detriment of my business.

651
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:13,960
So what else does it give?

652
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:18,280
I'll give up something of myself personally so I can spend time helping young men learn

653
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:22,000
about life through football and spend time with my younger son.

654
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
Right.

655
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:27,680
But I think life is about prioritizing and intentionality.

656
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,080
And too many people, you know, they put time.

657
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:34,360
They say that time is the most important thing.

658
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:38,080
There's a lot of people who have time with people, but they're not really there with

659
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,080
that person.

660
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,800
So, like, my kids don't care if I'm sitting with them for half an hour, but I'm on my

661
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,760
phone scrolling, but we haven't been on the same couch.

662
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:46,760
That's not really time.

663
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:47,760
Yeah, it's not.

664
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:52,600
I also have five minutes of us just having true engagement right about life, then 30

665
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,840
minutes when I'm not paying attention.

666
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,000
So you have to be really sensitive.

667
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,840
And I've worked on this.

668
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:04,600
I'm not perfect at it, but we tend to put my phone down and away so that we're there

669
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:09,240
with the people that we love and that we're super intentional with our time.

670
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,560
But prioritizing those things is really important.

671
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:15,720
And then, you know, I would say that paradise is not a destination.

672
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:16,720
It's a perspective.

673
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:17,720
Mm-hmm.

674
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:22,440
And, you know, you can choose to live a blessed life if you actually see it that way.

675
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:27,680
But I feel like that every single day, and I want to make sure that I'm intentional about

676
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:32,280
living in that space with people I love every day.

677
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,280
Yeah.

678
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,000
Again, I am not perfect at it, right?

679
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,440
But I'm constantly working for it.

680
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,720
But it's really about just how I see life through the lens that I see life.

681
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:41,720
Yeah.

682
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:42,720
Right?

683
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:48,640
But it's really about making sure that your priorities are straight.

684
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:53,960
And my priority is not more of everything.

685
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:59,800
It's about deeper relationships and about prioritizing those.

686
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:08,960
They think a lot of people are in a seesaw of life and they talk about life and maybe

687
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:09,960
in seasons.

688
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:10,960
Mm-hmm.

689
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,440
And they get a great idea and they say, I'm going to be totally all in on that.

690
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:20,160
But they don't create an environment of discipline to help them continue to be successful.

691
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:25,360
And then you revert back to perhaps your bad habits because you haven't created new ones.

692
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,360
Yeah.

693
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:27,520
So I think some people have great intent.

694
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:32,800
Hey, I want to be more engaged with my kids or my, I'm going to do a date night once a

695
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:33,800
month, right?

696
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:38,600
And then life happens and you fall back into the groove.

697
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:39,600
Mm-hmm.

698
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:44,080
So I think a lot of this is people have good intention, but then they don't create an environment

699
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,360
of discipline where success is inevitable consistently.

700
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,360
Yeah.

701
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:48,360
Right?

702
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:52,240
So if you're all in and committed to that, well, how are you going to make sure that your

703
00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,480
environment is supportive of that?

704
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,880
So if you want to create a habit, there's a lot of people that say, you know, you got

705
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,080
to do it for 21 days or 60 days or 30 days.

706
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,880
I don't really know the number.

707
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:06,880
But I do know that if you're going to be all in on something, you got to be consistently

708
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:07,880
doing it.

709
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,840
And I like to think about it in terms of just checking in with myself, saying, hey, am I

710
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,200
still consistently doing it?

711
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:19,240
If I'm not, what needs to change in my environment to help be supportive for me to consistently

712
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:20,240
do that?

713
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:25,040
The reason I'm saying that as a foundation is I think people generally want to be a good

714
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:30,080
husband or father or friend or coworker or business owner or whatever it might be.

715
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,960
They want to be inherently good.

716
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,280
It's not that they don't.

717
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:43,480
But then life gets going for all of us and we let life control how we then operate.

718
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,960
And it can't be that way.

719
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:46,960
Right?

720
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,600
I know plenty of people who are busy.

721
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:50,600
Bad excuse.

722
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,320
It's not a good excuse, right?

723
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,480
I mean, how many people do you know they're busy?

724
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:55,920
How many people have you done this podcast with?

725
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,000
You're like, oh my gosh, that guy's got a lot going on.

726
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,000
Yeah, a lot of them.

727
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,360
All of them probably actually.

728
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,360
Yeah.

729
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,360
That's why scheduling them is so hard.

730
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:08,640
Yeah, sorry about that.

731
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:09,800
So I think that's part of it.

732
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:16,840
And then have you studied Matthew 25?

733
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,360
No.

734
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:28,080
It's the story about the master who has the three servants and he gives each of them a

735
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,280
certain amount of talents, right?

736
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,280
Money.

737
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,680
And he goes away and then he comes back and he wants to know what people did with those

738
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:36,680
talents.

739
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,040
Essentially it's a metaphor for God has blessed you with certain talents.

740
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,040
What are you going to do with them?

741
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:43,040
Are you going to multiply them?

742
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,680
Or are you going to sit on them and hide?

743
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:45,680
Yeah.

744
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:46,840
Are you going to be afraid to use your talents?

745
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:47,840
Yeah.

746
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:52,200
And the moral of the story was the one that got the five talents doubled them and the

747
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,040
one that had the two talents doubled them and the one that had the one talent buried

748
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,040
it.

749
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,040
Yeah.

750
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:01,400
And then they came back and the master awarded the guy who buried that one talent to the

751
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,040
one that had the most.

752
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,800
Many was proud of them.

753
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:09,320
But the whole story is ultimately how are you taking what you've been blessed with and

754
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,760
building upon that?

755
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:18,360
So when I think about balancing my life, I hate that by the way.

756
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,680
I don't even know what that means.

757
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:20,680
Work-life balance.

758
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:25,120
So I appreciate the question, but I think what the way I think about it, and I think

759
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,600
this is what you're asking me as well, is how do you make sure that you're operating

760
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:33,000
with your highest level of standard and expectation, the way that God has blessed you with these

761
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:39,200
talents so that you really are being the best version of yourself in all these areas?

762
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,880
And when I think about it in that way that I've been blessed with it, I don't feel like

763
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:47,840
any people call it problems, but any opportunity that's sitting in front of you is not big

764
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,080
enough for us to just step into it and go, hey, let's go figure it out.

765
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,960
And whether that's by myself or I surround myself with people that are championing me

766
00:37:54,960 --> 00:38:00,800
to help me, they're my success team around me, to help me, whatever it is that's in front

767
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,640
of me, let's go get it done.

768
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:11,520
And so I look at it like you got one shot in life.

769
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:18,520
And if you've been blessed with these gifts, what are you doing to make sure that you're

770
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:26,120
living to that standard and what it does is it shows others what's possible and they start

771
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:30,760
seeing it in themselves and then they go do it and then that multiplies in such a positive

772
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:31,760
way.

773
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:36,240
And what does that look like tactically, right?

774
00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:40,120
Because I mean, I mean, personally, I struggle with balancing.

775
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:41,480
It's all a balancing act, right?

776
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:45,200
Like I have work, my personal projects, I have this podcast.

777
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,200
Yeah.

778
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:50,360
I have my girlfriend, I have my family, I have my friends and there's like all these circles

779
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:51,360
that I want to be great at.

780
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:56,240
I want to have great relationships with my friends, my family, my girlfriend, etc.

781
00:38:56,240 --> 00:39:04,560
And so a lot of times I find it difficult to really dial in on one thing without losing

782
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,600
a little bit on the other thing.

783
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:13,880
And so how do we take this mentality of I'm going to be great at all of these things and

784
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,280
then still live that right?

785
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,400
Like in theory, it sounds great.

786
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,080
How do we actually do that in practice?

787
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:27,320
Well, one, I think you have to have a vision for what you want.

788
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:28,320
What are your objectives?

789
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:32,120
And then you have to be able to see what success looks like.

790
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,320
You have to be able to see it and define it.

791
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:35,320
Yeah.

792
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,520
Otherwise you'll never know you when you got there.

793
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,000
And success, I think, is ongoing.

794
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
Yeah.

795
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,000
Right?

796
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,000
It's who you are.

797
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:47,080
You know, people write like a vision statement, but they write it in the post tense and I

798
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,080
write it in the present.

799
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,080
So I am versus one day I will be.

800
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,080
Right?

801
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:55,120
And so I think that it's important that you recognize who are you in all those areas

802
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:56,120
of life.

803
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,120
How are you showing up?

804
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,320
A vision statement needs to be now where your feet are at.

805
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:04,240
So what I tell people is like, okay, let's identify all those areas of life that are

806
00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:07,080
really important to you, that are priorities to you.

807
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,160
And what are your objectives in each of those areas?

808
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:13,200
And how do you define success in each of those areas?

809
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,000
And then write an I am statement.

810
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:21,400
I am filling the blank a great son to my family.

811
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,520
And this is how it shows up every single day.

812
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,440
I am a great business owner.

813
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:31,480
And these are the things that I do to make sure that I'm moving towards, you know, X.

814
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:32,480
Yeah.

815
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:36,080
I am a great boyfriend because I do these things with my girlfriend.

816
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:37,080
Yeah.

817
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,280
And it's things that she might need, right?

818
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,120
For her to feel connected to you.

819
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,920
But I always think about it in that sense.

820
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,240
In fact, I read it to myself.

821
00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:45,240
I think I mentioned that earlier.

822
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,640
I read that statement to myself every morning.

823
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:49,960
What's your vision statement?

824
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:50,960
It's very long.

825
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:55,080
I can't even memorize it, but it does focus on six areas of my life.

826
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,280
And I write specifically about how I want to show up in those six areas of my life.

827
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,600
It's one of them is like my career and my purpose.

828
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,320
And I read it to myself.

829
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,800
What is it my career and purpose that I'm doing today?

830
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,680
One of it is my family and freedom.

831
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:13,640
My faith, my health and my fitness, my financial freedom, and then my community engagement.

832
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,800
So I write specific I am statements in those six areas.

833
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,080
And that's how I measure success.

834
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,880
How am I showing up in those areas every day?

835
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:25,280
By the way, I'm not really like hitting it every day.

836
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,520
I make a lot of mistakes.

837
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:32,560
But I know what I'm aspiring for and I know what I'm out of line, out of alignment, excuse

838
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,000
me, with who I know to be.

839
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,680
And I got to pull myself back in.

840
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,400
But I think a lot of people, you know, they keep going through life without any intent

841
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:41,520
of who they want to be.

842
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,400
So they never know where they're going.

843
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:44,640
Because they don't even know.

844
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:50,720
And so nothing they ever do will create long term satisfaction.

845
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:53,400
Everything's about feelings and emotions.

846
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,480
What made me feel good right now at the moment?

847
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,480
Who cares?

848
00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:01,760
You know, are you living your life so you can feel good?

849
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,760
I hope not.

850
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,600
I know, but a lot of people do.

851
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:05,600
And I get it.

852
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:06,600
I totally get it.

853
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,040
I know the whole world is built around how can we make you feel a certain way?

854
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,520
Because it's emotional.

855
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,080
And emotions good.

856
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:19,680
But I think we're misaligned because we think we can buy joy.

857
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,280
We can buy happiness.

858
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,600
And all those areas that you just said, like how do I balance all those things out?

859
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,000
You can't buy all those things that you just mentioned.

860
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,120
They don't care about stuff as much, right?

861
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,120
Mostly.

862
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,400
They care about, hey, are you being the best version of what I need you to be to me?

863
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,400
Right?

864
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:35,400
Yeah.

865
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,400
In our life.

866
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:43,080
Sometimes it's a lot less about what you can do for, like buy them.

867
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:47,480
And it's a lot more about how you can serve them in the way that they need to be served.

868
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:48,480
Yeah.

869
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:49,480
How you can support them.

870
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:50,480
Yeah.

871
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:51,480
How you can listen to them.

872
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:52,480
Yeah.

873
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,480
How you can give of yourself for them.

874
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:54,480
Totally.

875
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480
Yeah.

876
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,480
That makes sense.

877
00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:04,240
I think that in, I mean, you mentioned something about having something that you're striving

878
00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:05,240
for, right?

879
00:43:05,240 --> 00:43:08,680
Like in the statements, there's like a bar that you're reaching for.

880
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:14,240
And I think maybe myself and other people like me often struggle with the bar is always

881
00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:15,560
moving, right?

882
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:21,200
So it's like you're trying to balance all these areas of life, but you don't have a set

883
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,600
bar for what success is.

884
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,840
So that means you can never win.

885
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,360
Because you could always do better there.

886
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:28,360
You could always do better there.

887
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,880
You could always do better there.

888
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:31,440
Maybe I could have been a better boyfriend.

889
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,560
Maybe I could have been a better business owner.

890
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,160
Maybe I could have been a better podcaster.

891
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:44,960
But ultimately, if we can dilineate what those things are that means success to you,

892
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,880
what is the actual bar?

893
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,680
Then we can actually feel good when we reach it, right?

894
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:50,680
Right.

895
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:51,680
Yeah.

896
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:52,680
Right.

897
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,680
I love how you said that.

898
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:58,680
I think, well, what do you want me to comment specifically on that?

899
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:03,440
I think my question there would be how are you, or I guess how are you defining your

900
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:04,440
goals?

901
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:05,440
How do you make these achievable?

902
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:10,080
How do you make these things that are measurable that you know you succeeded so you don't have

903
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:17,400
to sit there and flagellate yourself for not being at the very top of the top when, obviously,

904
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,080
you can't be the best of the best at everything.

905
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,080
Yeah.

906
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:22,080
Great.

907
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:23,080
Great.

908
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:28,360
So one, I think it's important that achievers tend to not celebrate success.

909
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,120
They tend to move on to the next thing.

910
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:36,040
And I've had to teach myself to say pause, reflect.

911
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,680
What did it take to accomplish whatever it is that we were working towards, moving from

912
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,080
A to B?

913
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:44,520
And in that reflection, you learn a lot.

914
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,280
What do we do well?

915
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,280
What didn't work?

916
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,280
Yeah.

917
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,000
That was part of our strategy that we don't want to keep doing or we need to refine.

918
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,560
And what do we want to start doing that we learn that, hey, maybe this will actually

919
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,560
be helpful the next time, the next go?

920
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:04,120
I think it's important to celebrate your successes, to take pause and to do that in a way that

921
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:10,680
honors the work that you did, to reward yourself for it.

922
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:16,120
And then that cycle becomes a habit.

923
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:23,400
Too many people move the goalposts and I believe the actual other direction.

924
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,400
They don't keep moving them up.

925
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,400
They move them down.

926
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:30,160
And before they've even gotten to the finish line, they move the finish line closer to

927
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,160
them.

928
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:32,160
They're like, look, I made it.

929
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,160
I'm like, well, you move the finish line.

930
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,920
This was a marathon, not a half marathon.

931
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,920
You can't ride 13 miles and still feel good about it.

932
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:44,120
I mean, I guess you could, but if you originally said I'm doing 26, you can't run 13 and say,

933
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,520
look, I did 13 and it's still good.

934
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:49,840
Yeah, it's like signing up for the 26 and then stopping at 13.

935
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,320
And then you tell everyone you did a half.

936
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:52,320
Exactly.

937
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:56,280
You sign up for the half in the first place and go kill it instead of signing up for the

938
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,840
marathon and they're not doing it and say, oh, I still ran 13.

939
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:00,840
What?

940
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,320
Like you got an F. Yeah.

941
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:03,320
That's a 50%.

942
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:04,320
Sorry.

943
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:08,080
So, but I think a lot of people move the goalposts in that direction.

944
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:12,320
They give up before they've actually run through the tape.

945
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:17,680
And so look, you have to define, you have to define clearly what it is that your objective

946
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:18,680
is.

947
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:25,560
And then you have to define clearly when you know that you've crossed that line of success.

948
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,520
And it's not about feelings.

949
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:33,000
I think too many people put down like, once I feel this way, well, heck, I can wake up

950
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,800
tomorrow and feel a certain way.

951
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:40,080
I can buy that happiness for a moment's fleeting.

952
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:45,360
But what are you actually doing to say, here's the number, the goal, whatever it is, here's

953
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,440
the thing I want to accomplish.

954
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:48,800
I'm going to move towards that.

955
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:52,160
Once I get there, that's when I know that I've hit that thing.

956
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,160
But here's the thing.

957
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,280
Here's the, this is the magic of it.

958
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:59,640
It's not even about the number or the thing that you get or the line that you cross.

959
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,000
It's not that.

960
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,880
And that's what a lot of people think it is.

961
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,960
They go, once I hit that number or once I get that thing, then I'm successful.

962
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:07,960
You know what I mean?

963
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:08,960
Yeah.

964
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:13,080
And they, they, they feel like once they've arrived, they'll change.

965
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,080
Yeah.

966
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,600
They're going to look at the mirror in the morning and go, see?

967
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:18,600
Yeah.

968
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:19,760
Now I made it.

969
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:20,760
Yeah.

970
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:21,760
Super disappointing.

971
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:22,760
Right.

972
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,760
Because then you're going to look at yourself going, I thought things were going to be different.

973
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:26,760
Yeah.

974
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:27,760
And they're not.

975
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:33,640
What they, what they feel, they realize is that the journey that you're taking, the,

976
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:40,640
the, the falls, the knockdowns, the pain, the struggle, the adversity that you face,

977
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,640
but then you kept moving forward.

978
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:43,640
Yeah.

979
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:45,440
And I was saying, right?

980
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:46,960
Two steps forward, one step back.

981
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,560
I'm going to go find two yeses for every no.

982
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:59,040
But the person that you become through that, that journey towards hitting whatever that

983
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,960
goal was, that's the gift.

984
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:02,960
Yeah.

985
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:06,320
Nobody can take that gift away.

986
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,480
That's what I love about life.

987
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:08,920
And that's what I've realized.

988
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,840
I was, I was one of those people.

989
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:13,120
By the way, I think most people are like that.

990
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:16,480
Most people I've coached and mentored, they're like, wait, once I hit this thing that I've

991
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,680
got it, I'm like, probably not.

992
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:19,680
Yeah.

993
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,800
But I'll finally be happy once I'm a millionaire.

994
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:22,800
Exactly.

995
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:23,800
Once I have my family.

996
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:24,800
Yeah.

997
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,120
Once, like whatever it may be, right?

998
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:31,280
Everyone has an idea in their head of once I arrive, I'll be happy.

999
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:36,720
And they arrive and it's the same exact thing as the same, as the day before they feel exactly

1000
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:37,720
the same.

1001
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:38,720
Totally.

1002
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:39,720
Exactly the same.

1003
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:45,680
And it's like, if you can't, if you, if you fail to see that, that joy is in the moment,

1004
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,720
like right now, you and me, we're hanging, right?

1005
00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:49,720
I love this.

1006
00:48:49,720 --> 00:48:50,720
This is great.

1007
00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:53,640
I love watching where you were and where you are, where you're going.

1008
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,760
It's awesome to see.

1009
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,400
I can share these things because of all the struggle in adversity that I've had in my life

1010
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:00,400
that's been a gift.

1011
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,720
It's been a gift.

1012
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:04,480
And that's where we can have this conversation.

1013
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,080
So I pray that it's helpful to the next generation, right?

1014
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,520
When they hear this, they go, all right, I'm going to lean into this thing.

1015
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:13,440
I'm, whatever it is that's in front of them, but you got to be clear with what you want

1016
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,480
and you got to keep going and you got to go to the bell.

1017
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:20,360
You got to run through the tape, whatever you want, whatever metaphor you want.

1018
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,960
And like, you got to go.

1019
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:26,960
Yeah, you get, you just do not give up ever.

1020
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:32,200
And even if you run through the tape and you don't make it, we don't hit every goal, right?

1021
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:33,200
Yeah.

1022
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:39,800
And that, that extra push that you gave at the end, that, that focus and intentionality

1023
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:46,160
you had saying, I'm going all the way, no matter what, that's the gift.

1024
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:49,240
Whether you hit the number or not.

1025
00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:51,360
And I'm not saying that it's okay not to hit the number.

1026
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,360
It's not okay.

1027
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:53,360
Yeah.

1028
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:54,360
You say you're going to do something, you should do it.

1029
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,040
And if you didn't do it, you better, you damn well better reflect on it and go, what

1030
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:58,920
am I going to do better next time?

1031
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:04,560
But the person that you become by pushing yourself, that's where you're going to reflect

1032
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,440
going, you know what?

1033
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:07,960
I did these things.

1034
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,800
I forgot to do these things where I didn't know or now I know and I'm going to do them

1035
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:11,800
next time.

1036
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,560
But if you didn't push, you never know.

1037
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,680
And then you just get, you let yourself off the hook and you go, well, I ran the half

1038
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:17,680
marathon.

1039
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:18,680
Yeah.

1040
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:19,680
It's all good.

1041
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:20,680
Yeah.

1042
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:21,680
So 13 miles.

1043
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:22,680
I can still whatever, eat whatever I want today.

1044
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:23,680
Yeah.

1045
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:25,200
And it's like, how, what are you going to do?

1046
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,680
I mean, you hit the goal.

1047
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:27,680
You hit the number.

1048
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:28,680
Yeah.

1049
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:30,000
I mean, definitely.

1050
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:38,200
I think that you're talking about there, about not achieving the goal and still leaving it

1051
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,800
out all on the field.

1052
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:40,800
Right?

1053
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:41,800
Right.

1054
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:49,080
And the part that I really like about that is that regardless of whatever we do, we're

1055
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:52,200
going to die and we're going to have unfinished goals.

1056
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,640
And the one question that will come back is, did I give it my all?

1057
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:56,640
Yeah.

1058
00:50:56,640 --> 00:51:00,720
You know, if I use up the entire tank, then I leave it on empty.

1059
00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:08,400
And that's what's going to give you that fulfillment, that confidence, that happiness

1060
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:12,560
that you actually went out and gave it your all, even if you didn't make it.

1061
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:13,560
Yeah.

1062
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:14,560
You did all of it.

1063
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:21,000
Like with your marathon example, much different if the guy signs up for 26 miles, stops at

1064
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:27,440
13 versus signs up for 26 miles, passes out at 13, gave it his all.

1065
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:28,440
Great.

1066
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:29,440
Exactly.

1067
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:30,440
Yeah.

1068
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:36,400
And talk to me about how you think about external goals versus internal goals, right?

1069
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:43,600
With like a 26 mile marathon, it's I'm going to run 26 miles versus, oh, I'm going to do

1070
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,040
something that I would know I did internally, right?

1071
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:51,600
Like you can have a goal that you can only control externally or a goal that's set to

1072
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:52,600
be internal.

1073
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,120
Give me an example of an internal.

1074
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,520
I'll give you an example with even this podcast, right?

1075
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:03,280
I'm going to get to a million subscribers versus I'm going to post 800 episodes.

1076
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,760
I can control one of those things.

1077
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,320
I can control the other.

1078
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:16,200
So on the external one, which I think is what most people tend to do, the difference, so

1079
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:17,960
that one, you're just setting a number out there, right?

1080
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:23,400
The internal number though, the non-controlables, what I've done is I said, all right, what

1081
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:32,040
can I control to help the internal goal that I have of reaching a million subscribers?

1082
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:36,040
They both still come down to activity.

1083
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,120
You still have to do activity, right?

1084
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,720
You still need to promote.

1085
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:45,920
So how are you going to go out and promote to get the subscribers?

1086
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:51,480
Either way, it's all about activity, activity, activity, no matter what.

1087
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,080
And when I say activity, I'm talking about taking action.

1088
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:59,320
I think though that when I look at internals, I'm like, okay, I still need to set out an

1089
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:03,120
activity commitment that I'm going to make.

1090
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:05,280
And if it's not, I got to test it along the way.

1091
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:09,280
And if it's not putting me on the path, I got to do something different, whether it's

1092
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,240
more activity or different activity or better activity.

1093
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:13,880
But that's how I think about it.

1094
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,920
So you have the external goal that you're aiming for.

1095
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:21,640
You break it down to what pushes that external goal forward.

1096
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:26,240
And then you test it, take that activity, did it move it forward?

1097
00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:28,440
And if it does, keep doing it.

1098
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,800
If it doesn't, throw it out, try a new one.

1099
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:32,800
Okay.

1100
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:41,000
But also, I don't know if I've ever just rested on, well, I just do it this way.

1101
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:46,360
Because in fact, I think you could argue, most people that know me would say, he probably

1102
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,960
tries to refine it almost too much.

1103
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:49,960
You know what I mean?

1104
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,760
Like right when somebody gets a hang of it, they're like, did you just change it again?

1105
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:53,760
Yeah.

1106
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,280
But yeah, I think this way it works better.

1107
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:56,280
Maximizing.

1108
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:57,280
Yeah.

1109
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,280
And so I'm always trying to optimize.

1110
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:02,240
I would say actually optimizing how I say something.

1111
00:54:02,240 --> 00:54:09,880
If I could be saying it with one less word or more articulately, or if I changed my breath

1112
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:16,120
or my tone, or the approach of the visuals that I added.

1113
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,640
I mean, any of those things, I'm always testing.

1114
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,080
I'm always testing.

1115
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:26,360
But one thing that I think is universal, no matter what I'm doing, I do it with conviction.

1116
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,160
And conviction comes through experience and activity.

1117
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:34,560
So that's why I bring it back down to, you know, a lot of people ask in our line of work,

1118
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:40,120
a lot of lines of work, you know, whether you're in real estate or mortgages or you're

1119
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:44,920
a business owner or sales professional, pharma, whatever, investments, insurance, it doesn't

1120
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,080
matter.

1121
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:49,480
There's always the language that all of those industries have, you know, the best of the

1122
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:51,960
best have language.

1123
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:56,040
And so people always want to know, hey, how do you say what you say?

1124
00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:00,040
Like it's not the words that I use.

1125
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,920
It's how I say it.

1126
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:08,120
You know, you can say the same words that I say, but I'm going to win.

1127
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:09,120
Why?

1128
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,120
When I say win, I'm going to get them to work with me.

1129
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:15,360
And the reason is because I have a deep conviction around it.

1130
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,360
I know how to say it.

1131
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:20,640
And they believe me because I say it authentically.

1132
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:21,760
And that comes with belief.

1133
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:27,800
And belief, as I think I talked about this earlier, but most people feel like they have

1134
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:29,600
to believe first before they act.

1135
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,960
And life doesn't work that way.

1136
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:36,320
So the reason I believe so much is because I've taken a lot of actions.

1137
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:37,320
And you knew it worked.

1138
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:38,320
Now it's worked.

1139
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,040
Now you know it's going to work.

1140
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,880
So you have that conviction.

1141
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:43,880
It didn't come first.

1142
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,080
You had to prove that it worked.

1143
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:49,160
They had to believe that other people were telling me the truth that, you know, hey,

1144
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,240
trust me, Armin, if you just keep doing this, it's going to work.

1145
00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:52,840
I'm like, tell me the story again, please.

1146
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,040
Because I don't believe it right now.

1147
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:57,040
I don't believe it right now.

1148
00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:58,040
It sucks.

1149
00:55:58,040 --> 00:55:59,760
What do I do?

1150
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:00,760
There's a lot of those nights.

1151
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:04,160
And that would be the place where the mentorship comes along, right?

1152
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:05,160
Absolutely.

1153
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:06,160
They've had the story.

1154
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,320
They have conviction.

1155
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:13,640
And they're reeling that conviction into you and telling you, no, this is the story.

1156
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,240
It works.

1157
00:56:15,240 --> 00:56:16,240
Trust the process.

1158
00:56:16,240 --> 00:56:18,640
Continue on until you have your own story.

1159
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:23,760
And that's when the mentee becomes a peer with the mentor is they've learned the same

1160
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:24,760
story.

1161
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:25,760
Still well said.

1162
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:26,760
Yeah.

1163
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,960
I know that you've talked about your partner, your wife, and how she has a huge impact on

1164
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:35,280
your success as both a father, as a business owner, and as a person.

1165
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:42,560
Talk to me about finding the right partner, finding a good partner.

1166
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:52,040
I pinch myself for who I get to be married to and in our lives.

1167
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:59,520
I met my wife twice.

1168
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:00,680
Sounds ridiculous.

1169
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:06,160
But the first time I met her, it was at a social gathering.

1170
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:08,120
And I was in this building phase.

1171
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:12,240
I was the guy that was talking about earlier where he'd tell me the story again.

1172
00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:18,720
Super shy, quiet, and certainly wouldn't have walked in to talk to a woman as beautiful

1173
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:25,400
as her and just the way that she was attractive, just from her smile and the way that she just

1174
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,400
moved around.

1175
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:28,720
And I was like, oh my gosh, I got to know what this is.

1176
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:32,880
But I just, like this person's totally out of my league.

1177
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,560
But we had conversed a couple of times because friends had introduced us and we were at social

1178
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,920
gatherings.

1179
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:44,080
Enough that I remembered her from when I met her the second time.

1180
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:48,920
And so the first time I met her was in 2002 in Denver.

1181
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:50,320
And then she moved away.

1182
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:54,400
And I'd seen her maybe a handful of times at parties and social gatherings.

1183
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:55,960
And one night I'm out.

1184
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:59,520
She's out at a club, separate places.

1185
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:06,000
We run into each other on a street corner at 1.15 in the morning in downtown Denver.

1186
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:10,480
And she walks past me and I walk this way and I stop.

1187
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:14,240
And she stops, backs to each other.

1188
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:16,200
I turn around and I'm staring at her.

1189
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:20,000
I'm like, how do I know that girl?

1190
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,000
And then it hit me, but then I forgot her name.

1191
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:26,520
And she's staring at me and I'm like, oh, remember her name, please God.

1192
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:27,520
Remember you?

1193
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:28,520
Exactly.

1194
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:35,480
And as she always is in life, she runs up to me and I had that look on my face and she

1195
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:38,640
said, Armin, it's Jamila.

1196
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,920
And I said, oh my gosh, it's so good to see you.

1197
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:41,920
What are you doing here?

1198
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:45,000
I haven't seen you for years.

1199
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,480
And that moment in time changed everything.

1200
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:49,480
It was like the world stopped.

1201
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:52,440
And there was two of us having a conversation, even though there was thousands of people

1202
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,440
around us, thousands.

1203
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:55,440
And I'm just looking at her.

1204
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:56,560
She's looking at me.

1205
00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:02,320
What was interesting is the next day before she flew back to where she was living at that

1206
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:08,600
time, which was Houston, Texas, she and I went and we both separately went to the

1207
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:12,000
Broncos game and then we went and had drinks afterwards with our friends while our friends

1208
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,000
were all interviewing me.

1209
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,000
Like, what are your intentions?

1210
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,000
I know.

1211
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000
I was like, everybody's sitting on that side of the table and it was me over here.

1212
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,000
But it was different.

1213
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:22,520
I was like super confident in who I was at that time.

1214
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,000
Where I was in the first time she met me.

1215
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,320
So that's what I'm saying.

1216
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:29,040
I met her twice because she met me once as the quiet, shy kid.

1217
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:32,920
And then she met me once as, oh, he's a man.

1218
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:38,400
And we then went and got a drink afterwards and we were just, we just, I don't necessarily

1219
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:40,440
recommend this to everybody, but I went straight in.

1220
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:41,440
I'm like, let's go.

1221
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:42,440
What are your values?

1222
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:43,920
What do you believe in?

1223
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:44,920
What's your faith?

1224
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:45,920
Tell me about your family.

1225
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:50,360
How many kids do you want on our first date?

1226
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:51,360
That's crazy.

1227
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:52,360
It's bananas.

1228
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,760
But it was, it was a boost like out of this world.

1229
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:56,040
What was her reaction to that?

1230
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:58,360
She was like this many, that many, this, that.

1231
00:59:58,360 --> 00:59:59,360
What about you?

1232
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:00,360
How about this?

1233
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,840
I'm like, oh my God, this is actually happening.

1234
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:06,040
We were married 363 days later.

1235
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,560
Oh, it was September 17th of 2005.

1236
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:10,320
I'm sorry, six.

1237
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:13,400
We got engaged February 3rd of 2007.

1238
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:18,800
Got married September 15th of 2007.

1239
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:27,520
I know it was crazy, but our values to answer your question were so aligned that it was

1240
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:28,520
easy.

1241
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:29,520
Yeah.

1242
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,480
It just made sense.

1243
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:32,480
It just made sense.

1244
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:35,480
And when your values are aligned with your partner in life, it's just, it's just, it's

1245
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:38,440
just, you become one and you can overcome anything, right?

1246
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,440
Because you can always come back to your values.

1247
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:44,760
That doesn't mean that you don't have nuances to how you approach life and how you see things.

1248
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:48,280
Of course, your personalities are different, but your values and your principles are aligned.

1249
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,120
It's the same thing I talk to my kids all the time.

1250
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:52,800
I'm like, you don't want to marry somebody just like you.

1251
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:54,960
That's not what values and principles are.

1252
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:58,320
But your values and principles are foundational to how you think and how you operate and how

1253
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:02,240
you see the world and how you make decisions.

1254
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:06,280
If you can share values, at least you can approach how you do things in life in a similar

1255
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:08,840
fashion, the same foundation.

1256
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:12,600
And you could challenge each other, but you always know that you're going to end up in

1257
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:13,600
a beautiful spot.

1258
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,400
It doesn't mean that you can't argue about something.

1259
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:16,400
You can argue.

1260
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,760
But you're still going to love each other, right?

1261
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:22,080
You're not going to give up on each other.

1262
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,800
And so that's how we operate in our lives.

1263
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:29,560
We talk all the time.

1264
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:34,680
I don't remember a day that's gone by that we haven't taken a walk somewhere.

1265
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:37,840
We have family dinner all the time.

1266
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:38,840
We prioritize that.

1267
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,400
We just hang out and just chat.

1268
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:44,400
We have date nights every night, it feels like.

1269
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:45,400
I swear.

1270
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:46,760
It's the coolest thing.

1271
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:47,920
How long have you been married?

1272
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:51,600
So we got married September 15th of 2007.

1273
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,400
So 17 years.

1274
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:54,400
Still having date nights.

1275
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:57,000
A lot of people lose it, it feels like.

1276
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:03,160
Well, they do because look, you know, life happens.

1277
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:04,520
You're busy, busy.

1278
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:09,200
Everybody's busy, which is an excuse for not really focused on and being intentional, but

1279
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:10,560
what's really most important in our life.

1280
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,560
I get it.

1281
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:12,560
Everybody's busy.

1282
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:13,560
I get it.

1283
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:14,560
Yeah, totally.

1284
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:15,560
We live in a culture of busyness.

1285
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:16,560
Yeah.

1286
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:17,560
And we get a lot of significance for busyness.

1287
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:18,560
Yeah.

1288
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:21,800
And that's where I'm, you know, all this conversation ultimately has been check in with your business

1289
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,120
and as your business align with actually what you should be doing.

1290
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:26,000
And if it's not, then you just move.

1291
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,360
You just move the paper around the desk.

1292
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:29,360
Yeah.

1293
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,320
So you can feel like I did something today.

1294
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:35,520
That reminds me of this really funny story of, you know, Diogenes, the philosopher.

1295
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:36,520
Yes.

1296
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:40,880
And I think there was one point where something was going on in the city.

1297
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,000
There was maybe a natural disaster that everyone was scared of.

1298
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:50,000
And so they all start running around the city, panicking, and it's all in disarray.

1299
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:54,560
And so Diogenes starts pushing a rock up a mountain and then letting it go down.

1300
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:56,120
And he keeps doing that.

1301
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:57,280
And everyone's like, what are you doing?

1302
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,120
It's like, this is how useful you're all being right now.

1303
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,480
I'm going to steal that story.

1304
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:04,480
That's a great story.

1305
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:05,480
That's funny.

1306
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,840
And so I think that that goes back to that busyness, right?

1307
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,360
It's like, people are panicking.

1308
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:11,360
There's something going on.

1309
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:19,440
And it's like, are you doing anything to support that natural disaster or to make minimize

1310
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:23,280
the effects or to actually drive something forward?

1311
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:26,080
We can all just run around and panic and busy.

1312
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,800
And you'll get a claim for it because everyone's like, call this guy so busy.

1313
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:32,720
He must be doing important things, right?

1314
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:41,320
And busyness is this heuristic that we've used as a indicator of success or is on the

1315
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:43,200
path to success.

1316
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:44,560
But everyone's busy.

1317
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:46,360
Everyone's trying to look busy.

1318
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:47,360
Absolutely.

1319
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:51,280
And it bleeds into everything in our life.

1320
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:55,760
But when we sit there and we talk, I mean, my wife has made me a better person.

1321
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:57,640
I mean, she's amazing.

1322
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:02,480
She's anything she does, she's like totally all in and committed and she's great at it.

1323
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:06,840
And she's had a lot of success in her life and at the highest levels and whatever she's

1324
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:07,840
done.

1325
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:08,840
I mean, she's amazing.

1326
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:11,960
And it makes me want to be a better person.

1327
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:16,560
It makes me want to serve her and my kids.

1328
01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:19,280
But I also tell you this, this is like, this is biblical.

1329
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:24,720
When you bring kids in this world, now it really gets real.

1330
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:33,320
And the first introduction to God is for your kids is watching you and your spouse.

1331
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:39,200
And so because that's who's teaching the kids.

1332
01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:43,560
So if you're not good, what does that do for your kids?

1333
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:45,880
And beyond biblical.

1334
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:53,280
How does that percolate into all areas of their life?

1335
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:59,560
The foundation and example that you set for your kids and your marriage, it's not by accident

1336
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:03,600
that sometimes when there's divorces, the kids get divorced.

1337
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:07,400
Or when there's trouble in the family, the kids are not well adjusted.

1338
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:10,240
I know that I'm saying this as a blanket statement.

1339
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,400
I know sometimes people get into the wrong marriage.

1340
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:13,400
I get it.

1341
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,400
I totally get it.

1342
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,400
I don't get it.

1343
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:17,400
It's tough, right?

1344
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:21,400
But I'm just sharing this with you.

1345
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:28,160
In my own perspective, as I've been blessed to be married to the right person, but I had

1346
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:33,600
also spent a lot of time thinking about people that I had dated in the past or experiences

1347
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:38,680
that I had and what I appreciated and what I didn't appreciate.

1348
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:48,720
And so I knew when she walked into my life and we talked about all those things, all

1349
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:51,680
those questions were not accidental.

1350
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:56,440
They were on my mind because they were important to me as to who I wanted to build a life with.

1351
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:02,200
And so when all of that hard stuff, the foundational stuff was bedrock.

1352
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,920
I'm like, cool, we can handle anything.

1353
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:05,920
Bring it on.

1354
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:07,480
We got it.

1355
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:10,480
And now we can teach our kids that.

1356
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:16,080
So that's the importance of having a great marriage, man.

1357
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:19,880
And I wish that for you as well, you know, whatever it might be.

1358
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:23,280
That's lucky enough, blessed enough to be married to you.

1359
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:24,280
Yeah.

1360
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:30,480
I'd like to comment first off on how crazy the story is of how you guys met, which is

1361
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:35,480
a random encounter while she's living somewhere else and it's someone that you knew before.

1362
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:37,040
And I have a few questions about that.

1363
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:38,040
Yeah.

1364
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:42,880
Which, one, a lot of people can get married quickly sometimes.

1365
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:43,880
Yeah.

1366
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:45,080
A lot of times it doesn't work out well.

1367
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:47,640
So that's one thing that I'm curious about.

1368
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:53,640
And then two, what was the experience like for you being this shy guy who's not super

1369
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:59,280
confident and you meet this woman who you think is attractive?

1370
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:03,920
And at that point in time, you weren't really the guy that had all those qualities of being

1371
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:04,920
a man.

1372
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:08,280
And then the second interaction, you did have all those qualities.

1373
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:09,760
How were those two dilineated?

1374
01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:11,160
What was that experience like?

1375
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:12,160
Yeah.

1376
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:13,160
So, okay.

1377
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:16,000
On the first question, so forgive me, the first part was?

1378
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:20,440
The first part is, did you have any doubts about kind of getting married so quickly?

1379
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:22,840
Because a lot of people will marry quickly.

1380
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:25,000
And the time from when we met to...

1381
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,000
Yeah.

1382
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:27,000
Yeah.

1383
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:32,600
I had dated enough girls and she had dated enough guys at that time.

1384
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:37,480
We had an understanding of what we both had appreciated and what we wanted in a relationship

1385
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:38,480
with the spouse.

1386
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:39,480
Yeah.

1387
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:42,480
So I think that that was healthy enough for us to understand that.

1388
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,160
Again, that's what we needed.

1389
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:45,160
Yeah.

1390
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:46,160
Am I saying this?

1391
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:47,160
What everybody needs?

1392
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:51,000
Some people know, it's the first time they ever met somebody that said, some people are

1393
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:54,440
serial daters and they can say, there's nobody's ever perfect enough.

1394
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:58,000
And I think that's also a problem.

1395
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:07,640
We were just so aligned in our principles and values that everything else just fell

1396
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:08,640
into place.

1397
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:09,640
Yeah.

1398
01:08:09,640 --> 01:08:13,640
So, I wasn't afraid.

1399
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,800
It just made sense to me.

1400
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:21,800
And I just thought, well, this is part of my journey of life and like, why would we not

1401
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:22,800
move forward?

1402
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:23,800
Yeah.

1403
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:25,040
You know, it just didn't even cross my mind.

1404
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:28,120
And if I know if you asked Jamila, she would say the same thing because we talked about

1405
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,320
this.

1406
01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:33,960
The second thing, how do I delineate between being a shy, quiet kid?

1407
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:34,960
Yeah.

1408
01:08:34,960 --> 01:08:35,960
Yeah.

1409
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:37,360
You had two experiences with the same girl.

1410
01:08:37,360 --> 01:08:44,240
Well, so what's interesting is the business I'm in, as we've sort of been talking about

1411
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,840
throughout this whole conversation, it'll knock you in your teeth.

1412
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:51,840
They'll see what you're made of.

1413
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:52,840
Yeah.

1414
01:08:52,840 --> 01:09:01,760
I owe it somewhat to the business as well for creating this space for me to get knocked

1415
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:09,120
down and have to keep fighting and get back up and saying, I'm never giving up and I'm

1416
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:12,520
going to continue to move forward.

1417
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:17,280
And I'm going to continue to embrace the hell that I feel like I'm in right now that I know

1418
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:21,840
that I'm in because I'm not going to give up.

1419
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:28,840
And that experience put me in a position to where when I saw her again, I had a different

1420
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:34,520
level of confidence in all aspects of my being, both internally and externally.

1421
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:40,760
And so would you draw that change inside of you mostly to getting knocked down in business

1422
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,160
and seeing what you were made of?

1423
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:43,160
Yeah.

1424
01:09:43,160 --> 01:09:44,680
I mean, it was a huge part of it.

1425
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:46,800
A huge part of it.

1426
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:51,960
Is there anything else that changed between that period of time and the other period of

1427
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:52,960
time?

1428
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:56,280
I became a student of life as well.

1429
01:09:56,280 --> 01:10:01,720
I was committed to my growth and learning every day.

1430
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:03,360
I was reading a ton.

1431
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:07,560
I was listening to anything that I could get my hands on that could better me.

1432
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:08,560
Littlest.

1433
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:12,800
You know, podcasts weren't really anything then, but a lot of these speakers would come

1434
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:13,800
in with their CDs.

1435
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:15,800
You don't even know what I'm talking about.

1436
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:16,800
I do.

1437
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:17,800
My dad had some of those.

1438
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:18,800
Yeah.

1439
01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:19,800
All right.

1440
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:24,920
So all those old school speakers, anytime I'd be driving, I'd have a CD in the car listening

1441
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:29,680
to somebody, whether it was whoever it might have been or it was industry.

1442
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:32,200
I was listening all the time saying, how can I better myself?

1443
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:33,200
How can I grow?

1444
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:35,800
I got to be all in and committed to this.

1445
01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:42,840
And little did I know that that was preparing me for a relationship with my wife.

1446
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:44,680
That was not why I was doing it.

1447
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:46,560
I was doing it because I wanted to be better in business.

1448
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:50,120
I didn't realize that it was helping me be better as a person in life.

1449
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:51,120
Yeah.

1450
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:52,120
Yeah.

1451
01:10:52,120 --> 01:10:53,120
Makes sense.

1452
01:10:53,120 --> 01:10:54,120
Yeah.

1453
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:55,400
But I mean, it's like, I was talking to my kids about this.

1454
01:10:55,400 --> 01:11:01,320
I said, and it goes back to the talents, you know, and Matthew 25.

1455
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:05,640
When you're given something, you should always, I think you should always say, I'm going to

1456
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,360
make the best out of this.

1457
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:12,120
If you're given a broom and there's a mess, I'm going to clean this up better than anybody's

1458
01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:15,240
ever cleaned this mess up ever.

1459
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:19,320
They're going to want to eat food off this floor.

1460
01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:20,320
It's ridiculous, right?

1461
01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:21,320
Yeah.

1462
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:27,800
But why not do your absolute like strive for excellence in everything that you do?

1463
01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:28,800
Why not?

1464
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:33,760
And the difference between, between, hey, it's good enough and excellence is not as much

1465
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:38,360
as people think, but the experience that people on the other end receive means the world to

1466
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:39,360
them.

1467
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:46,000
And again, that you become like going just that extra, that extra step.

1468
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:47,000
It changes everything.

1469
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:50,560
And it's really about the habit of doing that with everything that you do.

1470
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:55,600
You know, you get invited to something, right hand written note to thank them for that experience.

1471
01:11:55,600 --> 01:12:02,960
When was the last time you got a hand written note?

1472
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:06,360
Maybe like, I think this year.

1473
01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:07,360
Okay.

1474
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:08,360
Yeah.

1475
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,040
So I mean, what was it like when you got that?

1476
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:12,880
I mean, getting a hand written note is a great experience.

1477
01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:15,440
Like you feel like the person cares.

1478
01:12:15,440 --> 01:12:16,440
Yeah.

1479
01:12:16,440 --> 01:12:17,440
Right.

1480
01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:18,440
Time to acknowledge you.

1481
01:12:18,440 --> 01:12:19,680
Like as opposed to a text or a voicemail.

1482
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:20,680
Yeah.

1483
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:22,160
Like, oh, this is so cool.

1484
01:12:22,160 --> 01:12:24,540
Like this person actually cares, right?

1485
01:12:24,540 --> 01:12:25,540
Also nice, by the way.

1486
01:12:25,540 --> 01:12:27,480
Thank you for acknowledging me, but way beyond.

1487
01:12:27,480 --> 01:12:28,480
Yeah.

1488
01:12:28,480 --> 01:12:31,560
I mean, when was the last time you said thank you?

1489
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:36,480
I said, or I guess I gave a handwritten letter probably like two-ish months ago.

1490
01:12:36,480 --> 01:12:37,480
Yeah.

1491
01:12:37,480 --> 01:12:42,440
And what did that, how did that experience, what did that mean to you and what did it

1492
01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:43,440
mean to them?

1493
01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:44,560
To me, it meant a lot.

1494
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:50,920
I got a lot out of writing the letter and sharing a lot of things in a written with pen

1495
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:52,440
and paper format.

1496
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:53,440
Yeah.

1497
01:12:53,440 --> 01:12:57,080
And to the person who received it, it also meant a ton to them.

1498
01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:04,360
And so, yeah, to your point, that extra little bit has a massive impact.

1499
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:05,360
It's great.

1500
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:11,840
I mean, I think if you could write, start with a thank you a week.

1501
01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:12,840
Yeah.

1502
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:13,840
Or a note to a week.

1503
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:17,960
Just acknowledge somebody.

1504
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:24,320
It could really change your perception of how you see the world and people's perception

1505
01:13:24,320 --> 01:13:26,400
of how they see the world.

1506
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:27,400
Yeah.

1507
01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:29,440
Two very positive things can happen from that.

1508
01:13:29,440 --> 01:13:31,440
Yeah, definitely.

1509
01:13:31,440 --> 01:13:32,560
You have two young boys, right?

1510
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:33,560
Yeah.

1511
01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:34,560
Talk to me about...

1512
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:36,040
I don't know where we got off from the thank yous, by the way.

1513
01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:40,840
I don't even know what I was going over there with that.

1514
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:41,840
Go the extra mile.

1515
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:42,840
Go the extra mile.

1516
01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:43,840
That's what it was.

1517
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:48,480
Do a handwritten note and that has outsized returns compared to saying thank you over

1518
01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:50,040
a text over a phone call.

1519
01:13:50,040 --> 01:13:51,040
Yeah.

1520
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:52,040
Right?

1521
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:53,040
Yeah.

1522
01:13:53,040 --> 01:13:59,080
And I want to touch on your raising two young boys and kind of a weird...

1523
01:13:59,080 --> 01:14:01,560
Masculinity is kind of falling apart.

1524
01:14:01,560 --> 01:14:05,160
That's not a lot of masculine role models.

1525
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:10,440
And at least in recent years, you have masculine gurus or whatever you want to call them, Andrew

1526
01:14:10,440 --> 01:14:18,000
Tate, all these guys online kind of preying on the lack of masculine role models.

1527
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:23,560
And my question to you would be, how are you teaching your boys masculinity in this environment?

1528
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:26,200
How are you raising them to be men?

1529
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:36,760
It's probably one of the most important jobs that I have in my life right now is that my

1530
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:38,680
16 year old is...

1531
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:41,600
He just started driving less than a month ago.

1532
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:47,040
He's got a lot more autonomy and freedom.

1533
01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:51,040
He only has a couple of years left in our house before he's going to go off to university

1534
01:14:51,040 --> 01:14:53,640
or whatever he's going to do.

1535
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:57,680
And then it's like, oh my gosh, think about it in that way.

1536
01:14:57,680 --> 01:14:59,600
It's a lot of weight.

1537
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,160
And it's not like you have forever.

1538
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:05,920
Now, of course, you're going to keep teaching him beyond that, but he's going to be off

1539
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:08,120
on his own and having to make decisions on his own.

1540
01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:09,800
He's already doing it right now.

1541
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:16,120
And my almost 14 year old to be 14 in a couple of days, same thing.

1542
01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:22,320
Everything in my opinion, I mean, it's all at the dinner table.

1543
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:30,600
The conversations that we have at the dinner table, they emanate into all of our day.

1544
01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:35,840
So we spend a lot of time just talking about, well, first off, every time we have dinner,

1545
01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:37,880
we always pray.

1546
01:15:37,880 --> 01:15:41,480
And then we talk about what we're grateful for.

1547
01:15:41,480 --> 01:15:47,600
I think it's important that my boys understand that you have to have gratitude in the moment

1548
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:51,920
right now and that you have to be appreciative and grateful for all the blessings that you

1549
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:53,400
have in your life right now.

1550
01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:58,880
And you have to lead people into seeing that because I want my kids, when they have kids,

1551
01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:05,000
to remind their kids of what it means to be a grateful human being because of the blessings

1552
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:06,000
that they have, no matter what.

1553
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:09,800
I don't care what you have, where you are, it's not a money thing.

1554
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:15,280
It's just, there's always an opportunity to be grateful, always.

1555
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:25,000
My wife, how I treat my wife and honor her, I do that because she deserves that and that's

1556
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:27,320
how you're supposed to treat a woman.

1557
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:30,440
But I know my boys are watching.

1558
01:16:30,440 --> 01:16:37,520
I know they watch how I treat my wife and how I speak to her and how I communicate.

1559
01:16:37,520 --> 01:16:42,560
I think that chivalry, as much as our society wants to kill chivalry because somehow that's

1560
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:43,560
bad.

1561
01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:48,400
I'm like, man, my boys better open the door for women.

1562
01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:54,640
They better make sure that they walk them to the door, whatever that door might be.

1563
01:16:54,640 --> 01:16:57,680
They better have the right manners of please and thank you.

1564
01:16:57,680 --> 01:17:00,160
Yesterday, we went to an event.

1565
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,000
Boys wanted to leave before us.

1566
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:04,680
They went out and thanked the hosts and hostess.

1567
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:10,920
I'm like, I don't need to tell you that, you need to go do that.

1568
01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:14,440
You need to be a wolf in this world, not a sheep.

1569
01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:17,360
Do not be a follower.

1570
01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:22,120
People are always going to be, look, human nature is this way.

1571
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:23,440
There are people that are predators.

1572
01:17:23,440 --> 01:17:35,600
When I say predators, I mean that in the most aggressive sense and also just kids are, they

1573
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:37,640
have good intent, but they're dumb.

1574
01:17:37,640 --> 01:17:39,120
They just do dumb things.

1575
01:17:39,120 --> 01:17:43,640
They don't necessarily mean it in a bad malicious way oftentimes, but they do dumb things.

1576
01:17:43,640 --> 01:17:49,080
You got to be able to step up for people and make sure that you protect others when they

1577
01:17:49,080 --> 01:17:53,720
might not be able to protect themselves at that moment.

1578
01:17:53,720 --> 01:17:57,560
Because people are going to come after people all the time and you have to be able to step

1579
01:17:57,560 --> 01:18:05,760
across the grain and step into whatever that is as uncomfortable or as hard as that might

1580
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:13,040
may be because it's not the popular thing to do, but it's the right thing to do.

1581
01:18:13,040 --> 01:18:17,640
You need to speak up when others are not willing to.

1582
01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:21,160
You need to also be vulnerable.

1583
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:23,760
I'm vulnerable in front of my kids all the time because I don't want them to think that

1584
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:27,440
masculinity is not about being vulnerable or sharing your feelings.

1585
01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:29,680
It's so far from the truth.

1586
01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:35,960
I want my kids to know that, hey, dad has tough stuff that he's dealing with all the

1587
01:18:35,960 --> 01:18:38,000
time.

1588
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:39,680
It's not about avoiding the tough stuff.

1589
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:41,840
It's about saying, what am I going to do next?

1590
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:43,840
I talked to them very openly about it.

1591
01:18:43,840 --> 01:18:49,000
They hear some really hard things that I was dealing with today, but here's how I thought

1592
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:52,000
about them and here's what I did.

1593
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:57,240
I want them to know that it's not about having less problems, about having higher quality

1594
01:18:57,240 --> 01:19:02,240
problems, and then having being equipped and building the muscle to know, okay, here's

1595
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:03,920
what I'm going to do.

1596
01:19:03,920 --> 01:19:08,120
It's about taking care of your family.

1597
01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:13,720
In our house, the way our house works, I'm the primary income earner, and Jamila has

1598
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:20,240
been a stay-at-home mom and has raised our kids and has done everything.

1599
01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:23,800
For us, it's about how we've chosen to live our life and we've been blessed enough to

1600
01:19:23,800 --> 01:19:25,760
be able to do that.

1601
01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:30,360
We are very much a partnership in raising our boys.

1602
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:39,200
My boys know that I got it and they're good because I want them to know that no matter

1603
01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:43,720
what the hell is going on in my life, they need to know that they are secure and they're

1604
01:19:43,720 --> 01:19:49,560
taken care of and that I want them to do the same thing for their family.

1605
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:52,600
Don't bring your shit home.

1606
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:58,040
And vomit all over your family about all the disaster that happened in your day, especially

1607
01:19:58,040 --> 01:19:59,040
in my business.

1608
01:19:59,040 --> 01:20:02,040
It's really easy to come home and go, you would not believe this, this, and this happened.

1609
01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:03,720
Bring all your stress home.

1610
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:07,440
That is not manhood.

1611
01:20:07,440 --> 01:20:11,520
Park your car wherever you park it in your garage, your side of your house, whatever.

1612
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:13,480
Take some deep breaths.

1613
01:20:13,480 --> 01:20:19,160
Walk inside and say, what am I going to do to be the best husband and father to my family?

1614
01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:21,600
To my boys, I'm like, I'm good.

1615
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:27,560
To my boys, I want them to know, no matter what's going on, dad's like stoic.

1616
01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:31,040
He tells us he's got stuff going on, but at the end of the day, he's like, I got this.

1617
01:20:31,040 --> 01:20:32,280
Let's keep going for it.

1618
01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:34,120
I have the discipline to do that.

1619
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:40,640
But that, I know it's a lot of stuff, but being a man, it's not as hard as people think.

1620
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:42,120
It's just not.

1621
01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:44,880
But you have to be intentional about it.

1622
01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:51,120
And I know the world is trying to change that in ways that I don't think are serving boys

1623
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:54,560
becoming men.

1624
01:20:54,560 --> 01:21:01,200
But I also think too, I just finished coaching my son's football team.

1625
01:21:01,200 --> 01:21:08,000
And I got 21 kids, boys, 13 year olds.

1626
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:15,600
And I started almost every coaching, whatever I said, this is my expectation and my standard.

1627
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:17,440
And I love you all.

1628
01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:18,760
And I'm going to coach you to this.

1629
01:21:18,760 --> 01:21:23,000
And if you're not, if you're not there, we're to keep going towards there.

1630
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,560
I'm not always going to tell you what you want to hear.

1631
01:21:24,560 --> 01:21:28,520
I'm not going to be playing nice with you all the time or just telling you that you

1632
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:30,120
did a good job when you didn't.

1633
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:34,480
But when you earn it, I'll be the first to be loving on you and giving you a hug and

1634
01:21:34,480 --> 01:21:38,160
graduating you and cheering you on.

1635
01:21:38,160 --> 01:21:39,960
That I think is really important in life.

1636
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:44,480
I do not want to put a cushion and a pillow down for these kids to fall in and go, I know

1637
01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:46,520
it didn't hurt too much.

1638
01:21:46,520 --> 01:21:47,520
It's okay to be hurt.

1639
01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:49,040
It's okay to go hard.

1640
01:21:49,040 --> 01:21:50,720
It's okay to fight.

1641
01:21:50,720 --> 01:21:51,720
Right?

1642
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:57,080
The person that you become, and we got to teach these kids this right now, that ultimately

1643
01:21:57,080 --> 01:22:01,200
is going to help, it's going to help you feel and know that, hey, I'm strong inside.

1644
01:22:01,200 --> 01:22:02,200
I can do this.

1645
01:22:02,200 --> 01:22:03,200
Yeah.

1646
01:22:03,200 --> 01:22:04,200
Right?

1647
01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:08,440
Watch any movie about the hero, the hero's journey.

1648
01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:11,480
They got to go through some hell to get to the other side.

1649
01:22:11,480 --> 01:22:15,560
And our boys need to do this and understand right now that they can go through these little

1650
01:22:15,560 --> 01:22:19,320
microcosms of difficulty in their lives to come out strong on the other end, because

1651
01:22:19,320 --> 01:22:23,160
that's going to translate in everything they do in their life.

1652
01:22:23,160 --> 01:22:26,160
I'll take a breath so you can comment.

1653
01:22:26,160 --> 01:22:28,240
I mean, that was a lot.

1654
01:22:28,240 --> 01:22:29,560
That's all great.

1655
01:22:29,560 --> 01:22:35,640
I think that there's a lot of values in there that are a bit more old school than modern

1656
01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:36,960
values.

1657
01:22:36,960 --> 01:22:41,760
And I think they're not necessarily palatable to a lot of people.

1658
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:42,760
Yeah.

1659
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:43,760
But I get it.

1660
01:22:43,760 --> 01:22:48,640
And along with that, part of the being masculine part is saying those things, even when they're

1661
01:22:48,640 --> 01:22:49,880
not as palatable.

1662
01:22:49,880 --> 01:22:50,880
Yeah.

1663
01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:51,880
Right?

1664
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:59,040
And my question following that would be that you had your dad pass out young or pass away

1665
01:22:59,040 --> 01:23:00,040
young.

1666
01:23:00,040 --> 01:23:03,720
Did he instill all of these lessons in you?

1667
01:23:03,720 --> 01:23:06,880
Or did you go and learn them out on your own?

1668
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:13,480
I was pretty fortunate to have a pretty awesome dad for 19 years of my life.

1669
01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:17,480
And I learned a lot from him.

1670
01:23:17,480 --> 01:23:23,240
But I was just coming around the corner of understanding how life works when he passed

1671
01:23:23,240 --> 01:23:25,280
away.

1672
01:23:25,280 --> 01:23:34,640
So I've had to lean into learning a lot from, there are so many resources, but just from

1673
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:44,320
life as well, reading, watching others that I respect, building relationships with mentors

1674
01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:54,360
in my life, watching how men that were ahead of me that I looked up to and I said, this

1675
01:23:54,360 --> 01:23:55,800
guy's got it going on.

1676
01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:59,000
What is he doing that I need to pick up on?

1677
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:00,720
And just being open to that.

1678
01:24:00,720 --> 01:24:06,800
Being hard on coaches to just help me with not necessarily masculinity, but just how do

1679
01:24:06,800 --> 01:24:11,160
I go about my life and be committed to something?

1680
01:24:11,160 --> 01:24:14,960
And so I've learned a lot along the way as well.

1681
01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:17,000
Being married will teach you a lot too.

1682
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:18,000
Yeah.

1683
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:19,000
Right?

1684
01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:20,000
Yeah.

1685
01:24:20,000 --> 01:24:23,400
I mean, I didn't know everything about being a man when I got married, but that's okay.

1686
01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:24,400
You're not supposed to.

1687
01:24:24,400 --> 01:24:29,440
You're supposed to know enough to get married and then you got to grow together.

1688
01:24:29,440 --> 01:24:30,440
Yeah.

1689
01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:34,160
But yeah, I mean, it sucked losing a dad that early.

1690
01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:36,000
It definitely was even harder on my brother.

1691
01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:37,000
Yeah.

1692
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:39,000
It was 16 at the time.

1693
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:49,400
But look, I mean, the way that I learned to understand was one, it wasn't, it's not,

1694
01:24:49,400 --> 01:24:51,960
when I say understand, to accept.

1695
01:24:51,960 --> 01:24:57,480
It wasn't my place to ask God why.

1696
01:24:57,480 --> 01:25:01,160
Like, why would you do that to somebody that was that great?

1697
01:25:01,160 --> 01:25:06,760
And I learned that that wasn't the proper question to ask.

1698
01:25:06,760 --> 01:25:12,480
It was, all right, what am I going to do now to make sure that I continue to honor the

1699
01:25:12,480 --> 01:25:17,880
legacy that my dad had started, which is what I think about every day.

1700
01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:22,000
And he had set the tone for how he treated people.

1701
01:25:22,000 --> 01:25:23,000
Everybody loved him.

1702
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:24,000
He was a lovable guy.

1703
01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:26,520
He was a really good guy.

1704
01:25:26,520 --> 01:25:31,760
And the way he treated my mom and their marriage and their relationship.

1705
01:25:31,760 --> 01:25:38,800
And I have taken what he had set as a foundation for me and said, how can I, I know what he

1706
01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:43,040
would want me to do, take it and make it better for my kids.

1707
01:25:43,040 --> 01:25:44,800
And so that's, that's my perspective.

1708
01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:46,760
Like we're just stewards man in life.

1709
01:25:46,760 --> 01:25:52,000
I'm just, I'm here for a bit, you know, then I'm going to be God and whatever I do for

1710
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:57,200
the people that I get to spend time with, hopefully that makes a positive impact and it uses the

1711
01:25:57,200 --> 01:25:58,720
talents that I've been blessed with.

1712
01:25:58,720 --> 01:25:59,720
Yeah.

1713
01:25:59,720 --> 01:26:00,720
Passing the torch and multiplying them.

1714
01:26:00,720 --> 01:26:01,720
Yeah.

1715
01:26:01,720 --> 01:26:02,720
I mean, it's just, it's not my torch.

1716
01:26:02,720 --> 01:26:04,440
I just happen to be holding it right now.

1717
01:26:04,440 --> 01:26:05,440
Yeah.

1718
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:06,440
Yeah.

1719
01:26:06,440 --> 01:26:09,320
A lot of us get tied to thinking that the torch is ours.

1720
01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:10,320
Yeah.

1721
01:26:10,320 --> 01:26:11,320
Yeah.

1722
01:26:11,320 --> 01:26:14,440
As we come near the end of the podcast, we have a closing tradition.

1723
01:26:14,440 --> 01:26:15,440
Yeah.

1724
01:26:15,440 --> 01:26:18,200
As, as you know, the podcast is called a carrots and sticks.

1725
01:26:18,200 --> 01:26:19,200
Yeah.

1726
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:21,960
And every time we have a guest on, we ask them.

1727
01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:27,120
We ask them to make a carrot, which is a two week challenge, which pushes the guest to

1728
01:26:27,120 --> 01:26:32,480
live courageously and then a stick, which is the accountability portion of the challenge,

1729
01:26:32,480 --> 01:26:37,840
which the guest also sets as their incentive to live fearlessly.

1730
01:26:37,840 --> 01:26:39,760
I was not, I was not told about these things.

1731
01:26:39,760 --> 01:26:40,760
So let's think through this.

1732
01:26:40,760 --> 01:26:41,760
Yeah.

1733
01:26:41,760 --> 01:26:42,760
I mean, all the time you want.

1734
01:26:42,760 --> 01:26:43,760
All right.

1735
01:26:43,760 --> 01:26:47,880
So, so my carrot is I'm going to do this thing courageously for two weeks.

1736
01:26:47,880 --> 01:26:49,280
You don't have to do it for two weeks.

1737
01:26:49,280 --> 01:26:55,320
It's in action that faces a fear or that pushes you to live courageously.

1738
01:26:55,320 --> 01:26:56,320
Okay.

1739
01:26:56,320 --> 01:26:57,320
Within two weeks.

1740
01:26:57,320 --> 01:26:58,320
Within two weeks.

1741
01:26:58,320 --> 01:26:59,320
All right.

1742
01:26:59,320 --> 01:27:00,320
All right.

1743
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:03,760
And then the, sorry, that's the carrot.

1744
01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:04,760
Okay.

1745
01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:05,760
And then the stick.

1746
01:27:05,760 --> 01:27:09,280
And the stick is what you have to do if you don't do it.

1747
01:27:09,280 --> 01:27:12,880
Your incentive to do the stick.

1748
01:27:12,880 --> 01:27:13,880
It's so funny.

1749
01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:18,640
I used to coach all of our new advisors with, often times like, Hey, what do you respond

1750
01:27:18,640 --> 01:27:27,560
both well to, you know, and some people were stick somewhere carrots.

1751
01:27:27,560 --> 01:27:28,760
This is a good question.

1752
01:27:28,760 --> 01:27:36,320
So, you know, in our business coming up on your end, we want to have a great start to

1753
01:27:36,320 --> 01:27:39,160
the, the first quarter.

1754
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:43,520
And so it's getting easy to be distracted and say, okay, I'm just going to run to the

1755
01:27:43,520 --> 01:27:48,560
end, but not really present, put ourselves in a great position for Q one.

1756
01:27:48,560 --> 01:27:53,400
So my commitment between now and ultimately, it's almost like Thanksgiving, right?

1757
01:27:53,400 --> 01:27:54,400
When we're doing this.

1758
01:27:54,400 --> 01:28:07,280
So let's say the next two weeks, what I will do.

1759
01:28:07,280 --> 01:28:21,880
So we have in our world points of contact, which means that I'm reaching out either via

1760
01:28:21,880 --> 01:28:26,440
email, phone, text to clients.

1761
01:28:26,440 --> 01:28:30,680
And typically I'm doing 30 a week.

1762
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:35,480
I will do a hundred in the next two weeks, which is a lot, especially with the days that

1763
01:28:35,480 --> 01:28:37,000
I have here.

1764
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:45,440
But that will help me reach out and connect with people that I need to, to position ourselves,

1765
01:28:45,440 --> 01:28:48,400
to either be introduced to the right people that we need to or be connected to the right

1766
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:50,520
ones as we move into Q one.

1767
01:28:50,520 --> 01:28:51,520
Yeah.

1768
01:28:51,520 --> 01:28:52,520
Love it.

1769
01:28:52,520 --> 01:28:53,520
All right.

1770
01:28:53,520 --> 01:28:57,440
And if I don't do it, because I know I got to be honest with this in the stick situation.

1771
01:28:57,440 --> 01:29:00,480
By the way, I just made a commitment this morning to do 30, which is already a stretch.

1772
01:29:00,480 --> 01:29:04,760
So now I got to go revise that with my team with a hundred, with a hundred over two, which

1773
01:29:04,760 --> 01:29:05,760
is great.

1774
01:29:05,760 --> 01:29:06,760
I love it.

1775
01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:07,760
I love it.

1776
01:29:07,760 --> 01:29:11,880
If I don't do it and see, look, here's the thing, I'm going to do it, but I'll entertain

1777
01:29:11,880 --> 01:29:12,880
you on this.

1778
01:29:12,880 --> 01:29:13,880
Yeah.

1779
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:14,880
I will.

1780
01:29:14,880 --> 01:29:22,760
And the stick, does it need to go to something bad or can it?

1781
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:26,520
Can it be something good that I just have to write it, write a check for?

1782
01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:27,520
It could be something good.

1783
01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:28,520
You know what I'm saying?

1784
01:29:28,520 --> 01:29:29,520
Yeah.

1785
01:29:29,520 --> 01:29:32,520
Because I don't want to give to like one political party that I don't appreciate.

1786
01:29:32,520 --> 01:29:33,520
Yeah.

1787
01:29:33,520 --> 01:29:38,480
That's because that's like it's helping somebody that I don't want to help.

1788
01:29:38,480 --> 01:29:39,480
I will.

1789
01:29:39,480 --> 01:29:48,960
But I got to think about a good stick on this.

1790
01:29:48,960 --> 01:29:52,360
Something that's going to, that I've looked up going, there's no freaking way that I'm

1791
01:29:52,360 --> 01:29:53,360
doing this.

1792
01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:54,360
Yeah.

1793
01:29:54,360 --> 01:29:55,360
All right.

1794
01:29:55,360 --> 01:29:56,360
Here, here.

1795
01:29:56,360 --> 01:30:00,520
This is, this is a stick for me because this is hard to do.

1796
01:30:00,520 --> 01:30:09,200
But if, if I, so I box in the mornings and I box twice a week and it's, it's hard.

1797
01:30:09,200 --> 01:30:10,200
It's a hard workout.

1798
01:30:10,200 --> 01:30:12,800
It's like an hour and a half workout on average.

1799
01:30:12,800 --> 01:30:15,880
And I do it twice a week because it's, it's a lot.

1800
01:30:15,880 --> 01:30:16,880
Yeah.

1801
01:30:16,880 --> 01:30:21,600
I'll do that for two weeks straight, five days a week.

1802
01:30:21,600 --> 01:30:24,200
I know I have to get up at four in the morning to do this.

1803
01:30:24,200 --> 01:30:29,000
So that would be really not something that I want to do as much as I love it.

1804
01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:32,720
I need to rest in between, but that would be a pain in my ass and I'll do that.

1805
01:30:32,720 --> 01:30:33,720
Yeah.

1806
01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:34,720
All right.

1807
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:35,720
Yeah.

1808
01:30:35,720 --> 01:30:36,720
Perfect.

1809
01:30:36,720 --> 01:30:37,720
All right.

1810
01:30:37,720 --> 01:30:38,720
Well, thank you for coming on.

1811
01:30:38,720 --> 01:30:39,720
Yeah.

1812
01:30:39,720 --> 01:30:40,720
Where can people find you if you want to be found?

1813
01:30:40,720 --> 01:30:41,920
Where can people find me?

1814
01:30:41,920 --> 01:30:48,320
You can, you can just Google my name, Armin Cadiwala and a lot of stuff will pop up in

1815
01:30:48,320 --> 01:30:49,320
there.

1816
01:30:49,320 --> 01:30:51,200
I'm on a number of boards.

1817
01:30:51,200 --> 01:30:54,440
So depending on what you want to read about me, you can connect with me on one of the

1818
01:30:54,440 --> 01:30:56,240
boards that I'm on.

1819
01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:59,160
Or you can find us at anthologycapitalsolutions.com.

1820
01:30:59,160 --> 01:31:00,160
Awesome.

1821
01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:01,160
Yeah.

1822
01:31:01,160 --> 01:31:02,160
Well, thank you so much.

1823
01:31:02,160 --> 01:31:03,160
Thanks for this time.

1824
01:31:03,160 --> 01:31:04,160
This was great.

1825
01:31:04,160 --> 01:31:05,160
Yeah, this was a great time.

1826
01:31:05,160 --> 01:31:06,160
You're like the next Joe Rogan, man.

1827
01:31:06,160 --> 01:31:07,160
Hopefully.

1828
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:08,160
You're really good at this.

1829
01:31:08,160 --> 01:31:09,160
Oh, thank you, man.

1830
01:31:09,160 --> 01:31:10,160
I really appreciate it.

1831
01:31:10,160 --> 01:31:11,160
I mean, I'm impressed, man.

1832
01:31:11,160 --> 01:31:12,440
Now we got to get you to a studio with like curtains and cool American flight behind you

1833
01:31:12,440 --> 01:31:13,440
and some mics.

1834
01:31:13,440 --> 01:31:14,440
That would be really cool, right?

1835
01:31:14,440 --> 01:31:15,440
Yeah.

1836
01:31:15,440 --> 01:31:16,440
Yeah.

1837
01:31:16,440 --> 01:31:26,440
Thank you.