If someone says, oh, honey, no, no, no, no, no,
no. I think you are genuinely concerned for the
stupidity of the person that you're talking to.
Welcome to the show, people. Welcome to the show.
Eat my shorts. So here. is to conversation. Tranquility
base here. The angle has landed. Alright, welcome
to Cash Exchange. Welcome. What's up? Not much.
We are hosting a little bit more sporadically
with the holidays coming up. There's a lot going
on, I think, for both of us. There definitely
is. But we'll try to keep on track as much as
we can. We also have a new project in the works
that I'm pretty excited about that is along the
same lines as last month's low -budget horror
movies. We do. I'm pretty... Pretty excited for
it, too. But I don't know if I'm as excited because
this one takes a little more motivation. Mental
fortitude. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm excited for it
to happen. So we'll keep you posted. Stay tuned.
That we will. All right. Before we get into today's
episode, I have a bit of a tale. to tell and
I'm curious what your input is on it okay so
as I usually am I'm out and about not in my not
in my own neck of the woods and I found myself
needing to go to Walmart at a later time than
I usually do I mean none of them are open 24
hours anymore so the three o 'clock trips and
seeing all those People, doesn't happen anymore.
But this was close to 11 when they closed. I
went in and my face has been like real itchy.
So I needed some beard safe lotion for my face.
And if you have been in most Walmarts recently,
you know that they moved all of the like. hair
care products, not like shampoos and stuff, but
like all the beard stuff, all the razors, all
the makeup, all the nail polish and stuff like
that. It's in its own little section and it has
its own little register. And they say, Hey, you
can't leave here without paying for that. And
I don't, I don't know what the point of that
is. I just put it in my basket and just keep
walking. Most of the time they don't say anything.
So I don't know. This Walmart that I went to
had one of those quarantined off sections. And
I'm walking up to it and I get to the little
entrance by the register. And there's an elderly
woman, probably about 75, just putting stuff
back from a basket. I guess it's just like stuff
whenever lazy people pick something up and then
just drop it off some other part of the store.
The stalkers just put it all in a basket and
then those get sectioned off to their departments.
And then it's up to the person in that department
to figure out where everything goes and put everything
back. That's what she was doing. I walk in and
I am trying to find what I'm looking for. There's
one that I've been using, but I want to branch
out, maybe see what else the world has to offer.
So I'm just standing there staring at all these
beard products. And then these two ladies probably.
early 20s, I would guess, start walking up towards
me and they're on the, I'm at like a corner.
I'm looking at one side, they're looking at the
other side. The side that I'm looking at with
all the beard stuff just has shelves that you
can just grab whatever you want and take it to
that weird loan register or just sneak it out
and go pay for it up front with everything else.
But the section that they're looking at, Is behind
glass. Okay. If you have seen these sections
in Walmart, if everything isn't behind glass,
then there's a certain section of products that
is behind glass. Do you know what section that
usually is? If it's the only one behind glass?
Anything made for a person of color. Okay. Come
on. That is a legitimate thing. They put specific
kinds of like hair care products and skin. Tones
and things behind glass. Okay. Well, at this
Walmart, they did not. Okay. The jerry curl stuff
was right next to the white people shampoo. The
12 and 1s. Head and shoulders. Yeah. 12 and 1s.
God. So, if it's not a racist Walmart, then what's
behind the glass? I don't know. The sex stuff.
All the sex stuff. And just as a side note, I
have a problem. With a portion of it. There's
a there's certain sex things that should not
be behind glass. They should not. There should
not be a barrier to purchase. Don't get me wrong.
I know why it's there. But there shouldn't be
a barrier to purchase like condoms. I agree.
Where you have to press a button and call somebody
and like, hey, yeah. Oh, these magnet. No, no.
Need to go down two sizes to the left, please.
Or a pregnancy test. Like, I understand that
there's kids, they do stupid stuff, and that's
something they're going to steal, one, because
either they're embarrassed to buy it, or two,
because they just want to have the fun and whatever.
So it's a tricky thing. But this one had all
the sex stuff behind glass. One of these women
starts beating on the glass. Beating on the glass?
Does she think that it's an open sesame situation?
No. It's more of a situation where, like, think
of a child at Chuck E. Cheese. They have 15 tickets
left, right? And you say, hey, little Johnny,
what do you want? I want that finger trap. I
want that finger trap right there. That one.
That one right there. Right there. That one.
So that is what this woman is doing to this case.
And she is aggressively gesturing towards. A
motorized appendage -shaped unit. Which, why
on earth you go to Walmart for this certain product?
I don't know. I don't know why. They have a whole
toy section at Walmart that has to be behind
the glass, but they do. Yeah. And the woman looks
at it, and I'm not trying to make eye contact.
I'm just hearing this stuff. Try to focus on
what I'm trying to do. And she notices the one
that she's pointing at, I guess, is not the one
she wants. She said, go get the woman. That's
like a 75 -year -old woman. She told her friend
to go get her. Friend goes and gets her. The
lady hobbles over. She's not very spry. And the
first woman explains her predicament. It's like
this one, but bigger. I don't know. I didn't.
I'm befuddled by the fact that there's one size
at all. It's even more interesting that there
are multiple sizes for this thing. Because, I
mean, I would assume, correct me if I'm wrong,
that for that certain instance, one should get
the job done, correct? No, there's variety in
it. Versus, like, one with a diesel engine in
it? Like, is there really that big of a difference?
I don't know that it's intensity necessarily,
but I do think that size matters in this situation.
Wow. Sometimes you don't need the magnums. You
need the ones that are down a row and over two
to the left. Oh, and so she has this lady, this
worker, just trying to stock her shelves and
pay for Green Kids College or whatever she's
trying to do. Looking on a device, I don't know
if this is her personal phone. I don't know if
this is something that is. given to her from
Walmart, but this 75 -year -old woman on the
clock is looking up Dilbros for this lady because
they don't have the specific one that she wants.
And I can't imagine anyone I know, let alone
myself, ever being in a situation where I'm asking
for that much assistance at Walmart from anyone.
Yeah. Could you at... 10 .30 at night on a Wednesday.
See yourself in such a predicament. Several,
several things to comment on this particular
situation. I'm all ears. All ears. Every adult
store is open later than Walmart. Why did you
opt for Walmart? Especially in a city as big
as the one that you're in, there is no way you
are far from an adult store. What if they were
on rollback? with like an even bigger smiley
face on them. Do you think they come with a sticker?
Do you think you show it at the door and they
give you like a bigger smiley face sticker? I
don't even know if they do smiley face stickers
anymore. I might have just made myself look super
duper old. They don't do the smiley face stickers.
They have stickers that say thank you on them
if you have something that doesn't fit inside
one of the bags. And they still harass you at
the door like you stole cat litter. All right.
Yes. Okay. So the most important thing is...
There is an abundance of stores that deal in
that kind of smut in the vicinity. So, yes. Not
for nothing. If it is sold at Walmart, it is
not going to be the quality of anything that
you're looking for. If you are tapping on the
glass like you're Darla from Finding Nemo, who
hurt you? What is happening in your life that
you are panic buying assistance at the Walmart?
At the Walmart. I went to the Walmart by me and
on principle, I won't buy anything that requires
me to go get an assistant, like a person that
works at the store. I don't either. Like the
most of the Walgreens and the CVS by me, the
Walmarts around me are all like they have their.
Their cosmetics, a lot of their personal care
products are behind glass panels and they have
to get unlocked. I'm not going to do that. If
I can't purchase it by just actually grabbing
the thing and checking out with it, I'm just
going to buy it online. Or go without. I have
not bought new makeup in a while because it's
just ridiculous. I am fully in the camp that
if you can't... Like, if you're not comfortable
going to an adult store and that's why you opted
to go to Walmart, but you have to go get the
assistance of a Walmart employee to purchase
this, I don't think you need it. If I'm wrong,
somebody is more than welcome to debate me on
that one, but I don't think you need it. What
would have been a curveball is if Gertrude had
swooped in and just started throwing out all
this advice. I bought the last one. You don't
need that one. I'll tell you what you need to
get. What is even more jarring than that, I went
to the Walmart that is near my apartment a couple
weeks ago, and I was looking at the clearance
section, and they had a toy, not locked behind
anything, on clearance. And the most important
question that I had after I was done being just
befuddled, why... Was it on clearance? I don't
think those things should go on sale. It feels
in most situations, the clearance section of
Walmart, if it is a loan version of that thing,
is because it was used and returned or stolen
and put back. Yes. To which you throw it away.
Walmart makes enough money. What are we doing
here? They sell Lysol, too. And as we found out
in our previous episode, Lysol can, in a pinch,
be used to clean. It can be used internally,
so. It can't. It can't be used internally. It's
not recommended anymore, but it could be. In
fact, at one point, it was listed as the reason
it exists, so. No one needs to be that fresh
anywhere on their person. I'm just saying. I'm
just saying. So, TLDR. I don't know if God made
my face itch so I could go and experience this
thing at Walmart, but I'm real glad he did, and
I'm real glad I was able to bring it here and
have a frank discussion about where... You should
and should not purchase your premarital aids,
marital aids, post -marital aids. Accessories
for your bits is what I'll call them. Accessories.
Yeah, that works. All right. You ready to get
into this episode? Let's go. All right. What
do Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, and Mark
Twain, a .k .a. Samuel Clemens, have in common?
I was going to start out with they were on money
until you mentioned Samuel Clemens. I don't think
he's on money. I mean, I guess technically Abraham
Lincoln is not in print these days. Samuel Clemens.
Mark Twain wasn't on, like, a quarter or something?
I can't imagine. Like, opposite. I don't think
so. Was he? Is that the... That's not the thing,
no. I don't know if he was on a quarter, though.
It seems like he'd be on a quarter. I can't think
of any, like, people that were on quarters that
weren't George Washington. Did they put people
on the other side of the quarter? Yeah, there's
been people. It was just states and landscapes
and stuff. We had a life scare at my house. So
I ended up having to take the bedding from our
entire house, from every single bed, and go to
the laundromat and wash everything. During that
journey, we had to get a whole bunch of quarters.
And while we were waiting for the dryer stuff
to get done, me and my son sat down and we looked
at all the quarters we had. And there were lots
of lots of quarters I'd never seen before, because
I guess after they did the states, they did like
whatever they wanted. They did national monuments.
They did. They did do people. I couldn't tell
you what people. But yeah, so there have definitely
been people on the quarter. OK. I think Sacagawea
even double dipped. I think she was on a quarter
too, as well as the dollar coin. Look at her
go. Look at her go. Good old Sacagawea. I love
that you pronounced it. That is the actual way
to pronounce it, right? I believe so. I don't
know. It might have just been a joke I created
in my head and I've just ran with it this whole
time. I have no clue. Sacagawea, Sacagawea, Sacagawea.
I don't know. I don't think she really cares
at this point. I don't think Sacagawea is correct.
I think that's just whiting it all up. Oh. But
no, it has nothing to do with currency. Nothing
to do with currency. Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin
Franklin. That horndog. Mark Twain. Didn't he
have syphilis? Are you just getting that from
the office? I was setting you up for the rest
of that line from the office, yeah? Well, I don't.
He used to take air baths. Sorry. What? Benjamin
Franklin used to take air baths at his house
in Philly. I'm going to need you to elaborate.
What is an air bath? You open up all the windows
and you just walk around naked. Air bath. The
same house that they found a whole bunch of bodies
in the basement of. I thought that was a myth.
No. No, it was an underground anatomy school.
It was proven. Huh. He wasn't a serial killer.
That was the myth, is that he was actually a
serial killer. I would believe it. Can I get
a hint? Or phone a friend? Let's see. What kind
of a hint can I give you? It's something they're
all famous for. One of the things they're all
famous for. Mark Twain is famous for his writing.
Yes. You could argue that Abraham Lincoln is
also famous for his writing with the Gettysburg
Address and the Emancipation Proclamation. I
wouldn't really consider it. I mean, I guess
Benjamin Franklin would also be considered important
for his writing. But that's not, I would think,
the most notable thing about him. I said one
of. I said one of. I didn't say the most. I said
one of. There you go. They're all American idiots.
But no, American idioms are attributed to them.
My bad. House divided cannot fall. One of good
old ABAs, famous ones, is you can fool some people
all the time, but... I don't know. I actually
accidentally deleted the back half of this. So,
hold please. You can fool some of the people
all of the time and all of the people some of
the time, but you cannot fool all of the people
all of the time. There we go. Yeah, I don't know
how that got deleted, but yes. Is that an idiom?
Yeah. I mean, an idiom. I probably should have
put the definition for idiom in here. And if
you will bear with me, I will get you a definition
momentarily. An idiom. It is a phrase or expression
with a figurative meaning that is different from
the literal meaning of the individual words.
So is this one technically a phrase or expression
that is figurative? I don't know. I don't even
think it's an aphorism. It's an anecdote. Idiom
is a common word or phrase with a figurative
non -literal meaning that is understood culturally
and differs from what its composite words. Yeah,
so it's like reigning cats and dogs kind of thing.
There's not really a... Okay, well, I mean, so
this one is deceptive tactics only work for so
long. But eventually you're going to get caught.
What is the actual word for that? For what? For
that type of phrase. For what this thing is?
I mean, I looked up a lot of idioms and they
were all... essentially like this it's uh okay
maybe this one or that one okay the mark twain
one is definitely an idiom okay but benjamin
franklin's was a penny saved as a penny earned
is that idiomatic i think that one's also an
aphorism okay fine mark twain the cat in gloves
catches no mice is that an aphorism i think that
one's Being too polite or careful can make you
ineffective. It's a proverb from a Connecticut
Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Okay, what about
this one? Speak softly and carry a big stick.
Do you know who said that? Eddie Roosevelt. Yeah?
Is it an idiom? No. He's not talking about a
literal stick. You use decorum until decorum
and pleasantries aren't working, and then you
beat him with a metaphorical stick. It's been
too long since I've... I've done this. Closest
I've come is the New York Times crossword puzzle.
That's where I've had to remember what my different
phrases in English are. Okay. Well, for the sake
of argument, these are idioms. Common sayings
that vary from country to country, but most people
will know what you mean when you say them. Do
you have a favorite idiom? Since you're just
so in tune to what idioms are. I don't have one
off the top of my head, no. Well, I saved my
favorites for last, so. Okay. What about southern
idioms? What kind of southern idioms can you
think of? You can lead a horse to water, but
you can't make it drink. Yes, that is a good
one. And what does it mean? You can show a person
all the steps to get somewhere, but it doesn't
mean they're actually going to be able to do
the thing or that they're going to want to do
the thing. Because some people, like horses,
Our time is shit. So you can do everything in
the world for them, and it's not going to make
a bit of difference. They're still just going
to sit there and... Why am I so stupid? What
is it when you dehydrate to death? Why can I
not think of the word? Can you not think of it
either? It's just dying of dehydration, right?
What is it called when you die by dehydration?
I think this may have been too cerebral an episode
to start this late in the day. Hypernaturamia.
Okay, well, whatever. What about, oldie but a
goodie, bless your heart. I do love bless your
heart. We don't use it nearly enough these days.
How many people do you think that aren't as in
tuned to the the phrases and sayings of the South
think that when someone says bless your heart,
they're like, oh, thanks. Thanks a good portion
of them. I wouldn't think so, only because the
context around it, you have to figure they're
saying something pretty condescending. Like you
don't just. That's true. Southerners don't just
like bless your heart over nothing. You have
to have said something real stupid or real dickish.
For you to have earned a southerner's bless your
heart. And I think intonation is a big one, too,
because you're not just going to say bless your
heart. You're going to say, huh? Bless your heart.
You gigantic idiot. It always reminds me. Dumb,
dumb. It always reminds me of the episode of
How I Met Your Mother with Katy Perry, where
they don't remember her name, but everything
she says is just a reminder of how unbelievably
stupid she is. Oh, honey. So they only remember
her as, oh, honey. The entire episode is just
them saying that her name is, oh, honey. That's
what I think Bless Your Heart is. That's probably
a nicer version of Bless Your Heart. Is it nicer?
Yeah. Yeah, because, I mean, in my experience,
a good bless your heart from a southern belle
is a verbal middle finger. Yeah. And I think
if someone says, oh, honey, no, no, no, no, no,
no. I think you are genuinely. for the stupidity
of the person that you're talking to. Okay, so
bless your heart is said with malice and oh honey
is said with pity. Yes. Okay. And then a step
kinder from that is just responding with a huh
and then going about your day. Just acknowledging
that they said something very stupid, but you
don't want to... You don't want to step on any
toes. You don't want to hurt any feelings. You're
just going to say, huh. And then keep doing what
you're doing. That's the hierarchy of dealing
with stupid people. It's one, two, and three.
That's fair. I'll give you that. That dog won't
hunt. That's a good one. Yeah. That's real country.
I don't know that I know what that one means.
It's just like the person's useless, right? Yeah.
Not doing the one thing they're meant to do.
Yeah. I mean, it can be a person. It can be a
thing. It can be an idea. But yeah, generally,
it's just, well, this is a waste of time because
the thing that this thing is supposed to be best
at, it can't do for squat. Back to the drawing
board. That's a good one. He's all hat, no cattle.
This is what we call all you city slickers. I
love that. I worked in the stockyards for a very
long time, so I am very familiar with all hat,
no cattle. This is going to be going to a country
concert. And you got a guy in $1 ,200 ostrich
boots, rattlesnake boots, look brand new. Bedazzled
jeans on men is a dead giveaway. I don't know
that I've ever seen bedazzled jeans on men. Oh,
they exist. They exist in the same way Ed Hardy
clothes exist for men. Oh, that's fair. Ed Hardy
is making a comeback. And I don't know how I
feel about it. Isn't that like a soft comeback
though? Isn't that like Walmart? I've seen it.
So I've seen it a couple times. The only places
I've seen it as far as like retail is like Ross.
But I've also seen people wearing more Ed Hardy
and that concerns me. Hmm. I don't know where
I'm at with that. Hmm. I didn't hate. I didn't
hate Ed Hardy. I hated the people who were really
into Ed Hardy. But I also, I don't like most
people that make their personality a brand. I
just went to a restaurant the other day and my
server, real, real good guy. I mean, he seemed
nice. He was real personable and good at his
job. Gave off real Ed Hardy vibes. Spiked short
hair. Lots of rings, lots of jewelry. Okay. Diamond
encrusted dog tags. Okay. And very short. That
is the Ed Hardy demo. Short guys. Before there
were short kings, there were Ed Hardy dudes.
80 % of them sub 5 '6". In fact, when I was there,
I had an unsweet tea. And he was like, hey, man,
can I top you off? I was like, yeah, yeah, please.
He goes over to the little ledge where there
were three pitchers. One, I'm assuming, had water
in it. One had unsweet tea in it. And then there
was one that was wrapped in a napkin, which I
assumed was sweet tea. He picks one up and looks
in it, and he can't tell what it is. Picks up
another one, looks in it, can't tell what it
is. and just, like, pour some on the floor to
check it. I missed an opportunity in my Cotton
Patch Cafe days. But there was a light above,
like, over top of the ledge where it was, where
these pictures were, and so if he had been tall
enough... Then he could have looked into them
while they were sitting on the ledge, but he
couldn't. So when he picked him up, it was too
dark to see. So he just said to pour it on the
floor. Oh, anyways, he grabbed the wrong pitcher
and then had to replace the whole drink. But
he was the embodiment of Ed Hardy. And then I'm
sure at some point he was the embodiment of all
had no cattle. This is one I actually use. uh
pretty pretty often uh this ain't my first rodeo
yeah yeah have you ever used that in everyday
life jokingly probably i don't know that i've
ever used that one in all seriousness in a serious
conversation and as much earnestness as you could
muster i first rodeo i got this i've been doing
the job that i'm doing right now for 10 years
now and with all of the new Positions that I've
had where everything is the same with just like
little variations. I do think it pretty frequently.
Someone will like walk me through the same thing
that I've known for the better part of a decade.
And I'll just be like, mentally, this ain't my
first rodeo. I got this. But you never say it
out loud? I don't think I've ever said it out
loud, no. Let the people around you know what
you're about. See, I don't know that that's the
vibe I try to put out into the world. So no,
I don't think that I've said this ain't my first
rodeo. Okay. Genuinely. And in the same vein,
he's riding for a fall. I don't know what that
means. Do you know the goal in rodeo, like what
you're intending to do? So he's just setting
himself up for failure? Yeah, he's heading for
trouble. He's going to hit the dirt real quick.
Okay. But do you know how long you're aiming
to stay on a bull for? Eight seconds. Eight seconds.
Good job. There's a country song that was not
thoroughly vetted, but it was on the playlist
at a restaurant that I worked in for a little
bit. Eight Second Ride? Eight Second Ride, yeah.
Dang, girl, what's your name? What's the one
line? Climb on up, but honey, watch the cup that
I spit my dip inside. Frag me about being an
eight second ride. No, he said he said he's going
to take her on a ride wilder than any eight second
ride. Oh, I know. Wilder than that. I know what
the words are. But it's still quarter seconds.
It would still suggest it would still suggest
that he's he's somewhere in that eight second
range. If you can get your job done in eight
seconds, why extend it out? That goes with anything.
If you can get a job done in eight seconds and
then take care of all that and then go back to
your life and be productive, do other things
also maybe in eight seconds. If you can do a
thorough job in eight seconds, what's the problem?
If everyone is peachy keen, works out for everyone,
everyone gets an A +, then an O+. Thought processes
like that are why girls end up panic buying vibrators
at Walmart at 10 .30 at night. That battery is
going to last longer than eight seconds. Maybe
not a Walmart one. Here's one that I had never
heard of, but I'm kind of digging it. She's as
scarce as hen's teeth. One, because I never thought
about the fact that hens don't have teeth. Yeah.
But I like that. She's as scarce as hen's teeth.
Do you wish that Nate, whenever talking about
you to someone else, and someone asks him, So
just what what do you like about her? Like what
what is the thing that draws you to her? It's
like. I don't know. I don't know. She's just
she's got this just this draw. She's a she's
as scarce as hen's teeth. You know, is that that's
not a good thing. Doesn't that mean that you're
an idiot? No. I hear it as like an airhead. You're
Scaris' hen's teeth. Nothing going on upstairs.
It means you're rare. It means you're very rare.
Because I'm sure there are some freak hens with
a couple canines in there. A few bicuspids. Oh,
God. Canines? That's horrifying. So, yes or no
that Nate can refer to you as Scaris' hen's teeth?
I... I would have follow -up questions if I found
out that he referred to me as Scarce's hen's
teeth. Namely, when did he become Foghorn Leghorn?
I'll say, I'll say, I'll say. Other than that,
I will take the compliment. Oh, is that what
he wants for Christmas? Should we get him a bolo
tie? Yes. Is that a bolo tie? What's the Colonel
Sanders tie? That's not a bolo. Bolo is the Grandpa
Simpson. Yeah. What are those called? Let's find
out. The Southern Gentleman tie. Western bow
tie. Or the Kentucky Colonel tie. Oh. He got
his own tie named after him? Apparently, yeah.
Huh. Have you ever seen the thing that says that
if you look at the images of Colonel Sanders'
logo, he looks like a person? Little stick figure?
Yeah. I will never be able to unsee that. Yeah.
I mean, he does. He looks like a little stick
figure that is like jumping for joy over getting
those. Eleven herbs and spices. I saw that apparently
Colonel Sanders is great. Oh, the drama. Yeah.
You posted something about how he posted the
eleven herbs and spices, which he did. Kudos.
But he also posted something about how weird
it was that people were sexualizing his great
uncle. In the commercials, like with Reba and
stuff. And Rob Riggle? Not even that. Have you
seen the movie? No. There is a Lifetime romance
movie. Of course there is. With Mario Lopez as
the character. Oh, yes, yes. I remember it now.
Haven't seen it. Don't want to see it. Hell of
a watch. I will be adding it to the list of things
that we commentate on. All right. Maybe it'll
be one of our Valentine's episodes. Oh, there
we go. Something in February. This one I really
like. And this one is one that you should keep
rattling around in your brain. Just keep it on
the back burner in case stuff goes sour, stuff
goes sideways, you know. If you find yourself
in a hole, stop digging. Yeah. This is a problem
that I used to have. That's a good one. A lot.
I've gotten better about it now, but sometimes
it's, yeah, you just see yourself in a situation
you don't want to be in, and you just find ways
to make it worse. Digging yourself a bigger metaphorical
hole. So don't do that, kids. Stop making it
worse. Just take your lumps and move on with
your life. That is a good one. All right. You
ready for some non -American ones? I almost didn't
put these on because I don't even care about
them. I did Google idioms and I would like to
throw one in there that I do think is incredibly
fun. He couldn't pour water out of a boot with
instructions on the heel. Grade A. That was a
good one. That's a good one. All right. That's
all. Go ahead. What do we have as far as non
-Americans? Well, This is actually one that I
came across in my life that just happened to
also pop up in the research for this episode.
Bob's Drunkle. I recently watched Austin Powers
and Bob's Drunkle was in it. And I don't know
if that was the... origin story for this episode.
But when I ran back across it while I was researching
all this stuff, I had no idea what Bob's your
uncle meant. But I've heard it because it's like
one of the, if you're going to make fun of a
British person, it's one of the idioms that you're
going to use. So do you know what Bob's your
uncle means? Is it just like, can I know the
context that it was set in? I think I have an
idea what it is. It's like, okay, you're going
to do this, this, this, this, and then Bob's
your uncle and you're done. Oh, then no, I don't.
What'd you think it was? I was thinking it was
being like, like, well, obviously kind of thing.
Cause I know that it's put at like the end of
a, at the end of like a different statement.
Like punctuation. I guess to wrap it all up kind
of thing. Yeah. And there you have it. Would
be like the American equivalent of Bob's your
uncle. It's got a funny assumed origin. They
don't know exactly where it came from, but the
general consensus is that it's rooted in the
former British Prime Minister, Robert Cecil,
who also went by Bob. Who was accused of nepotism
in the 1880s. And Bob's your uncle. Interesting.
Nepo babies are always popping up. All right.
What about chuffed to bits? It's like tickled.
Chuffed to bits. Yes. Extremely pleased or happy.
Chuffed means proud or delighted. And then this
one is a layup, but I guess. Since it comes from
UK, I mean, it's pretty worldwide, but it's not
my cup of tea. That is something that I use all
the time. Yeah. What would be the American equivalent
if we don't drink tea? Not my pot of coffee?
Yeah. Not my can of Red Bull? Yeah. Not my vat
of Monster. Like those big ones with the screw
top? Mm -hmm. Yeah. I used to get those all the
time. Don't do it, kids. Don't do it. It's too
much caffeine. Feels like an industrial canister.
What about in France? I have these in French.
And they're English translations. I'm going to
attempt to say them in French. Okay. To call
a cat a cat. Call a spade a spade. Nice. To speak
frankly. Call things as they are. If I had said...
Would you have known what that was? You know,
I don't think so. I would have been a little
concerned that you shot yourself. Anything? I
got the accent down. Sure, yeah. I have C -U
-I -T -E -S. I have no clue how you pronounce
that. Coitus? I don't think it's coitus. I think
that's a different thing. I have no idea what
that means. The carrots are cooked. Okay. I don't
know what that one means. It's too late. The
situation can't be changed. The carrots cannot
be uncooked. So your goose is cooked. There are
a lot of American equivalents to these. There
are. Oh, now we go over to our favorite Asian
island of Japan. So there was a there was a Chinese
lady in the lobby of the hotel. And it sounded
like what someone would do if they were parodying
a Chinese lady in the lobby of the hotel. On
a FaceTime call. Loud as shit. And just nonsense.
Just no way there was intelligible speech. Out
of what was coming out of her mouth. But this
one is Saru Mu. Saru Mo Ki Kara Ochiru. Even
monkeys fall from trees. I like that. And I think
that the original title for that Miley Cyrus
song was Saru Moki Karo Ojiro. Everybody has
those days. Everybody makes mistakes. This one
means everyone makes mistakes, even experts.
So remember that. I like that. Even monkeys fall
from trees. So remember that. Don't know how,
but I'm going to work that into my everyday life.
Whenever someone's saying, trust the science,
even monkeys fall from trees. Nothing? I got
nothing. No. Nothing. See, it's a lot easier
when you're dealing with Latin adjacent languages.
Not the stuff that doesn't even have letters
in it. One of these characters is just a backwards
E with a line sticking out of the back. Dumplings
over flowers. I like that one too. I do too.
And I know some people in my life that could
probably take this one a little more to heart.
Practical needs are more important than aesthetics.
Sure, yeah. Dumplings over flowers. So as far
as the countries go, I think these Japanese ones
are the ones that are most likely to be added
to my repertoire. Yeah, but I mean, the French
ones are more or less things we use anyway. Those
were all things we have equivalents for in the
States, and the UK ones do sound a little silly.
I'm not going to... If someone is like, hey,
how'd you like that movie? I'm not going to be
like, I was chuffed to bits. Speaking of, just
saw Running Man. I don't either. It seems dirty.
But we saw Running Man. It was really good. What
is Running Man? What is Running Man? The movie
with my boy, Glenn Powell. And he is a man running
for his life to make. a billion new dollars for
his family to pull them out of squalor. Okay.
And apparently nobody in my life knew it was
a remake of an old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.
I didn't know it was a make, so I think I get
a little credit for not understanding it was
a remake. You don't. No. This guy, you should
check it out. Okay. I want to watch Roof Man
before I watch Running Man. Oh, that was good,
too. We saw that. I really want to see that.
Yeah. I'm pretty sure the only reason Emily wanted
to go was because you get to see Channing Tatum's
scrotum. Didn't know that. I was just excited
that it was set inside of Toys R Us, and that's
because they brought back Toys R Us. I went to
one a couple months ago. Yeah? How was it? It
was really cool. It was very small. Remembered
it to be? It was in the Grapevine Mills Mall,
so it was inside of a... a very like small storefront
instead of being like a very big expansive thing.
It was everything I remembered. That there's
one at both of our airports. I did not. Yep.
I hope they make a for realsies comeback. That
would be really cool. There's no possible way.
With Amazon and all the online outlets. Well,
they're making some kind of comeback. They've
already made. There's at least three of them
in DFW. Until the novelty wears off and then
people are like, oh, Toys R Us is going out of
business? I thought they already went out of
business. Oh, they came back and now they're
going out of business again? Okay, well, I guess
I'm just going to continue shopping on Amazon.
I mean, profiting from nostalgia is the whole
reason that there's a second Office series. A
second How I Met Your Mother. Which I still have
not watched. The Office, I don't... I have no
intention to watch How I Met Your Father or whatever.
But at this point, I don't think I have any interest
in watching The New Office either. No. Not worth
the watch. You know, I mean, people are profiting
off of our nostalgia every day. That's why vinyls
have made a comeback. Yeah. Yeah. We're also
in... Reboot Hill. One of my. One of the shows
that I'm watching. Currently. Is essentially.
A. Carbon copy. Of Superstore. Which is a carbon
copy. Of. The Office. So. What? No. No. I don't
know. It's got that chick from SNL in it. She
kind of throws off the vibes. I do like that
it has Keef from Righteous Gemstones, though,
and Tim Meadows. That is B &B. No, I'm saying
that show. I like that it has those people in
it. Kearney something. Something Kearney. St.
Dennis? Yeah, that's the one I'm watching, yeah.
Oh, okay. No, I might give DMV a try. Superstore
is not an iteration of The Office. There's no
mockumentary style to it. It's a sitcom. Okay.
Yeah, that's fair. But this one does have interviews.
This one is a mockumentary. I think it's played
out. We've done enough. All right. So you've
had time to think. Do you have a favorite idiom
besides... The one you mentioned earlier? This
is a little bit less PG, but sweating like a
whore in church has always been one of my favorites,
especially because we live in Texas. It's such
a great one. That is a great one. One of mine,
this was, I didn't realize this until I actually
sat down and thought about it. How many of my
favorite sayings have fecal connections? But
like, shoot the shit. What? Okay. I say that
one all the time. And it's fun to say. Shoot
the shit. Shoot the shit. Shoot the shit. Hey,
what are you doing? No, just shooting the shit.
So that's a fun one. Could be shooting the breeze.
Yeah. Yeah. And that was the original iteration
of shoot the shit. But apparently during World
War II, the soldiers didn't think it was too,
it wasn't masculine enough to say, yeah, we're
just shooting the breeze. So they changed it
to shoot the shit. And I think it was a change
well warranted. Sure. Or when the shit hits the
fan. Okay. It's another one of my favorites.
That's a good one. It seems to happen more and
more these days when the poop is rising and being
flung about the room once it hits the fan. Or
in the wise words of Toby Keith, when the fit
hits the shan. Hey, but when the shit hits the
fan. And you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
Nice. Brought it right back around. Or, and this
one is not poop adjacent, but it's not in the
actual saying, but it's butt to nut in here.
And of course, this is a saying that you would
use. When you're in a very crowded place, usually
like the pit of a concert or maybe you're in
line for a ride at some amusement park or something.
NSYNC is doing a show at your local mall. You
know, it's going to be butt to nut. You're going
to be very uncomfortably close to people around
you. Another favorite of ours. This is me and
Emily's both. Whenever there is a vehicle. Car
or truck. If it's a truck, it's usually a lifted
dually with giant mud tires, usually LEDs running
underneath, loud as hell. If it is a car, it's
going to be like a little Civic, but with the
exhaust of like an F18 on it. Sure, yeah. And
they go tearing by you. And we... look to each
other, and we say, that man's poor wife. Having
to deal with a man with such a massive schlong.
And of course, the joke is that that is tiny
wiener behavior. To be that imposing on everyone
around you. When you're on your way to the grocery
store, when... Your car is like, and just stop.
Just stop. We all know. We all know. We all know
what side of the glass you're getting your condoms
from. So cut it out. And then our last one, which
also regretfully is poop related, is when someone
is zooming up behind us, whips around. and then
keep zooming like 20, 30 miles over the speed
limit, especially when you're not on the highway,
when you're on just like a surface street, we
both say he must really have to poop. I don't
know if this one, I mean, we've already talked
a good amount about stuff like this in this episode,
but I worked in a restaurant which had like a
brick road in front of it. And there was a saying
that went around whenever we would have those
lowrider cars that had a bass boost that would
shake the foundation of the restaurant that I
worked in. It was that he didn't make a very
good dildo, so he became a vibrator. Because
that's just... Why? Just one. You don't need
to drive that. You don't need to shake all of
the cars around you. They're not even listening
to anything. It's literally just bass. I know.
When you're at a stoplight and you're trying
to pinpoint who is having a little mini earthquake
next to you, and there's no way the people in
this car can understand anything that is coming
out of their speakers. Because I am two cars
back, two lanes over, and I can kind of make
out the words. And I have all that buffer on
top of the sound coming from inside your vehicle.
But there is no way that you sitting there are
going to be able to make out anything that is
being said. So is this for us? Are you making
the sacrifice to your own well -being and your
own eardrums? for our sake, so that we can hear
this magnum opus from Lil Squirt. Like, what
is it? What is it? What is this for? What are
you doing, man? Stop it. Get some help. But feel
free to use anything that you learned in this
episode, any new sayings, any life lessons, any
words of wisdom. And take it into your life and
make yourself a better person because of it.
Yeah. I started watching Landman today. And there
is an idiom that all of that conversation reminded
me of, which is also a big Southernism. You've
got a, I've got a wish in one hand and shit in
the other. We'll see which fills up faster. Billy
Bob Thornton is so good in that show. I just
think he's good in general. I think he's good
in general. He was great in Fargo. I'd like him.
I'd like to meet him. He's probably going to
be in your neck of the woods again sometime.
They film a lot of Landman in Fort Worth. Yeah,
he seems kind of intimidating, though. Is it
because of the vials of blood? No, I think he's
past that. Have you seen the knockoff T -Mobile
commercials that have Billy Bob in them, but
the ones with AT &T? With Luke Wilson. No. And
it's literally the same thing. And Luke Wilson
is putting on this weird quasi Texan accent,
which is weird because he's from. Is he a Texan?
Yeah. But yeah, he's got he's got a weird accent.
You should check it out. And he's like, yeah,
don't you want to trust your phone with the company
that invented the phone? Which just isn't true.
AT &T did not invent the phone. This is Alexander
Graham Bell erasure. I will not stand for it.
Speaking of, what do you think of answering the
phone with a hoi hoi proponent? Absolutely. I
love it. Mr. Burns was right all along. Because
if you didn't know, Alexander Graham Bell envisioned
that's how phone calls would begin. He was right.
He was. I'm going to start doing that. Did he
have a suggestion for how they should end? I
don't know. It's not as talked about as Ahoy
Hoy. I mean, I test out some stuff every now
and then. Shabbat Shalom. Word Up. What It Do.
What It Is. Suh. Yo. Hey to the Izzle. I haven't
tested out Ahoy. I'll try that one. See what
kind of reaction it gets. I think I'm going to
have to add that one to the arsenal the next
time that Nate calls me. Do you need me to send
you an ambulance? Are you having a stroke? What's
going on? I'm sure I've said weirder things opening
a phone call. I feel like last episode we talked
about you asking him something, but I can't remember
what it was. We've had that particular conversation
a couple times. I know there have been, like,
I've had homework in a lot of our episodes, and
I don't remember what it is. I don't know. If
you remember. British people don't have peoples.
That was homework that I had. They don't? Forever
ago, they don't have peoples. You asked for Brit?
I asked a guy who lived in Germany, who explored
Europe. Okay. I mean, Germany and Britain are
two completely different areas. I know, but I
said he explored Europe. Otherwise, they would
have not gotten into a world war with each other.
Okay, that's fair. That's fair. It's weird. Seems
like a real simple thing to install as a safety
measure. But, hey, I guess. I don't know. Maybe
they don't want to get protected from being stabbed
all the time. I mean, is a people really going
to stab you or keep you from getting stabbed?
I mean, you answer the door. You have no clue
who it is. Make them announce themselves. It
could be someone dropping off your beans and
toast. I would assume they get that delivered.
I don't know. Or it could be someone, some madman
with a knife. You're not going to know. What
if you are really wanting your beans and toast?
And you're like, oh, I don't care who it is.
I'm opening the door. They better have my beans
and toast. And then boom, you got a butcher knife
in your abdomen. Yeah, that is a possibility.
Could have been could have been taken care of
with a peephole. Disappointing. I mean, they
could still have ring cameras. But do they? If
they don't have something as simple as a peephole?
I imagine they don't have peepholes because their
doors are older. A lot of the stuff that's made
or a lot of that stuff is older architecture.
I guess. I don't know. All I'm trying to say
is that British people are dumb. That's all I'm
trying to say. Wild take. But do you, yourself,
you, right there, With the loud cat, do you have
anything to send our people off into the world
with? If you're going through hell, keep on going.
Don't slow down. If you're scared, don't show
it. Great song. Much better than the eight -second
ride one. Do not recommend that. No, check it
out. Form your own opinion. Don't take our word
for it. I said I don't recommend it. Eight -second
ride. Jake Owen. I don't know who it's... Oh,
okay. Or if you're going through hell, Randy
Atkins. Rodney. Rodney Atkins, I believe. I think
that's right. And if someone tells you, hey,
that's not an idiom. That's a blah, blah, blah.
Don't worry about it. Just do you, man. You make
a whole episode about something and they say,
oh, wait, that's not right. Just plow right through
it. I mean, the rest of them were idioms. Well.
We'll let you be the judge of that. You know
how you can let us know? Check us out on Instagram,
TikTok, X, CashExchangePod, or send us a hate
email about how British you are and how you don't
appreciate me making fun of your beans on toast
or the fact that a grown person can say chuffed
to bits. You can email us at CashExchangePod
at gmail .com. To be fair, I think if you say
chuffed to bits, it's silly as a grown -up. But
it's also silly to say tickled pink as a grown
-up, and they're basically the same thing. What
about pickled tink? That sounds dirty. I don't
like that. And slightly gay. I don't want to
know how that sounds slightly gay. Okay, well,
if you would like to know how that sounds slightly
gay, reach out to us on the previous aforementioned
social medias. And with that, we'll see you.
Peace out, Girl Scouts.