But if that man is out there somewhere, probably
not one of our listeners, but I hope you're doing
better, dude. I hope you're not still berating
17 -year -olds. I hope you got help. Welcome
to the show, people. Welcome to the show. Eat
my shorts. So here is to conversation. Tranquility
base here. Vehicle has landed. Welcome to the
Cash Exchange. Welcome. How goes it? It's going
good. I have a stack of supplies on my island
right now so that I can make a very last -minute
Halloween costume. Jury is still out as to whether
or not I will get it finished in time. Ooh, what
is it? So we'll see. It's Amanda Young from Saw.
She is the reverse bear trap girl. Is that what
you're going with? And so I have... all of the
supplies to make the reverse bear trap right
now. I think that I can do it in enough time
to be ready by Halloween, but I don't know. I
do work for all of the days between now and Halloween,
so we'll see. What are your Halloween plans?
So I work in the morning, and I was thinking
that I could be Billy the Puppet at work because
I can make that work with my general dress code,
and then I could be Amanda Young at night. I
don't have anything specific yet as to what I'm
going to do because I'm still trying to figure
out who would be available in that time frame.
But I would like to go out for Halloween. I've
heard that Austin is a fun city to be in on Halloween.
I bet. That's when all the weirdos get to be
weird. Crazy, since this used to be a city that
was entirely based on the weird. Is it not anymore?
And then they neutered our logo. No. Wow. Yeah.
I'm just copying Dallas. The logo is embarrassing.
There wasn't more creatives in the city that
could have come up with something better. I will
say, though, it's very funny because there is
a an overpass and on the side of it is written
in enormous font, the word boner, but it's in
the new city of Austin logo. You'll be glad to
know that they recently just had a press conference
about the yogurt shop murders. In Austin? In
your general area. Who came out of that? They
got him. He's dead, but they got him. But then
they also say that there's no way that one person
could have done everything that was done in that
time frame. So he didn't act alone. I don't know
a ton about the overt shot murders. Huh. I did
not know this happened at a place called I Can't
Believe It's Joker. Did not know that. I will
be watching that documentary sometime soon. I'm
sure there's a podcast about it I can listen
to on my way to Dallas. All right. So are you
ready for your three things today? I sure am.
What do medical testing, feet pics, and standing
in line have in common? Two of them are. Are
pedal adjacent? Sure. Arguably all three. What
was the first one? There's clinical trials for
medical testing. Medical testing. I'm sure there's
clinical trials for foot things. Is it easy ways
to make money? Close. I had questionable ways
to make money. You've not. You're not doing the
best in your life if you are doing clinical trials,
selling pictures of your feet, or, I mean, standing
in line for money is a pretty solid side hustle,
but. Is there a market for man feet? Of course
there is. I got good ones. Everyone is someone's
thing. Hmm. Got hobbit feet. How do I get into
contact with the people that would give me money?
There are websites for such finding. How do you
weed out the pervert? I'm not going to plug them
because they are not sponsoring us. If you are
going to sell pictures of your feet, I don't
think that you are going to find anyone who is
not a pervert. I mean, not yucking anyone's yum.
I do hate feet, but if that is your thing. and
it is something that happens amongst consenting
adults, then do you. Are there professional male
feet models? There have to be. Is this an untapped
market that I could get myself into? Imagine
like Sperry's or... I can't think of like a good
male -centered type of shoes. I got great ankles
too. They have to have models. Yeah, you would
have to have great ankles and probably shaved
legs. Deal breaker. I mean, you could shave,
like, up to the tube sock height. It's not like
they're going full calf. You just got to shave
a little bit. Can't they just edit it in post?
I mean, eventually, yeah, but you have to have
some kind of clout behind yourself before then.
Got to establish yourself in the foot modeling
world. Have you ever done a paid trial? Clinical
or otherwise? I've done some like, we'll send
you products and you review them kind of things.
I've done paid surveys. I've done a couple of
like mystery shops. I don't think I've done any
like clinical trials. I did a clinical trial,
actually. I didn't get paid for it, but I did
participate in a... Like crowdsourced clinical
trial. Year or two ago. Gotcha. You ever sold
plasma? I have, unfortunately. I am afraid to
go back to selling plasma. I'm afraid to ever
do it again. Yeah. I did for a good bit there.
Yeah, the last time I did it, it was not a fun
experience. So I was told, yeah, maybe. Maybe
don't come back for whatever reason. And I have
like all of my when I go to like the doctor and
everything, they run all the tests that they
do for like your checkup and stuff. All my numbers
come back fine. But for whatever reason, the
last two or three times I went to go donate plasma,
my blood clogged the machine. Oh, like I didn't
know that was an option. Like multiple times
they'd come and they'd like massage the bag and
then it would go for a little bit and then it
would clog up again. So. It. I think if I remember
correctly, that happens because of the thing
that you ate most recently before the. Like the
donation. I don't have any concept of if that
is true. It has been a while since I've donated
plasma. So that might be. I couldn't tell you.
Pulled out of my butt, but. All I know is that
the last time I went, I was like, this happened
last time too. And they were like, yeah, maybe
this isn't the right avenue for you. I said,
yeah, okay. That's probably best. Yeah. The last
time that I donated plasma, I had a phlebotomist
who I'm fully convinced was new to needles. I
don't honestly recommend donating plasma if you
have other avenues. But she stuck the needle
in my arm incorrectly. And don't get me wrong,
even with seasoned people, I'm sure they miss
the vein every once in a while. I've been told
that I have kind of difficult to find ones. When
that is the case, you can pull it back a little
and start over. What you shouldn't do is just
wiggle it around in there until you find the
place that it's supposed to be. And I almost
passed out. And so the moment that that was over,
I said, I'm never stepping foot in a place like
this again. And now we're here. Do you have needophobia?
If there was an onset for it, it would have been
that exact moment. That would have been your
evil doctor origin story? Yes. I don't, I mean,
I don't obviously. dislike needles because I
really enjoy getting tattoos. So I don't know
that I could be like anti -needle in any case.
I am anti whatever phlebotomy training program
they put the people at BioLite through. The people
at the Plasma Donation Center are a different
breed. I mean, they deal with some loony tunes.
I mean, you just got to give up a little bit
of your body juices and you get 20 bucks on your
card or whatever. You get a very obscure amount
of money. Like it's always an interval of 10.
But like today you get $40. Tomorrow you could
get 120 or you could get 10. Who's to say? Why
is there not consistency? They go with the drug
dealer approach. and they say, you know, okay,
okay, you've never done this before? All right,
tell you what, tell you what. So we'll just take
a little bit, a little bit, see how you do. But
tell you what, we'll give you $100 for that.
Tell you what, you know what, you come in the
next three months, come, I don't know, what,
four times the next three months, you can make
a total of $500. And then you get hooked. You're
like, damn, this is easy money. I just lay here.
I'm just playing on my phone. They're taking
all this stuff I'm not using. I'm not using all
this life juice, and I get money for it? Sweet.
And then after that three months is up, you're
like, oh, yeah, you get 40 bucks. Like, what?
But before, my blood was worth 150. Well, now
you're hooked. I don't know what they use plasma
for, if I'm being fully honest. TVs? I don't
know. I would be down to donate again if I knew
that it was going to TVs. Not like expensive
spas where they do plasma facials. I don't know
if that's a thing. It sounds like it would be
a thing. It sounds like it most definitely could
be a thing. Would you ever work at a plasma donation
center? Would you ever be a phlebotomist? No.
I have never had an interest in that. I've never
had an interest in doing anything in the medical
field. I've never had an interest in dealing
with other people's bodily fluids. So no urine
testing analyzer or analyst? Oh, no. No. You
remember those little tubes of M &M minis? You
just pop the top off? You don't like whatever
is about to happen in this conversation? Well,
no. I do remember the M &M minis. If you don't
get one of those big cups, then they give you
that. And those lids are difficult to put on
and put off. So you're going to get some splashing.
And they're just like, yeah, just put it on this
counter. We'll clean it after you're done. I
don't think they give the women the M &M tubes.
Well, they give them. It's a small. It's like
Luke in the trench. Trying to hit that tiny little
target. It's ridiculous. That would be a... If
I were black, would they give me a bigger one?
Probably not, right? It must be harder for them.
The hole is the same size. I don't think it's
proportionate to the thing. I don't know that
for sure. They don't have a magnum specimen cup?
Oh, I mean, I've had my fair share. I had a CDL
at one point. And so companies give you randoms
all the time. I used to get randoms nonstop.
They would do like a round of them every two
months. Every two months, they would pick two
people. I would always be one of those people.
And I don't know if it was because they knew
I was clean and I wouldn't get popped for anything
or if they were just trying to catch me. Trying
to find a way to get rid of me. I don't know.
But I aced every one, so... Aced every one? I'm
pretty sure that's a pass -fail kind of test.
I don't think you can get an A on... I failed
every one. Is that what you want to do? No, you
want to pass it. You fail it, then you got some
dirty wee -wee. So I passed it, which would be
acing it. Sure. Right? Okay. Sure. Go with that.
So you had a had a CDL. Did that ever lead to
any any crappy jobs? Did you ever have to do
any anything that fits into our topic for the
day? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got furloughed during
the pandemic and they're like, all right, it's
got to happen this way. I was in, where was I?
I was in Miami and I get a call from my boss
telling me that, hey, Trump's saying now that
the airports are going to be shut down. I know
you got a couple more days there. I can go ahead
and fly. We can change your tickets and fly you
back home now. Or you can write it out the two
days, but there's a chance that you would have
to drive back home because the airports are shut
down. And I said, no, go ahead. Go ahead and
change my dick. I don't want to risk it. And
he's like, this is all up in the air right now.
We don't know what's going on, but we'll figure
it out and we'll see where we're going to go
moving forward. And so I get home and everything's
fine. I'm working. They don't say anything to
me. I'm all good. I had a trip planned for Vegas,
which was going to be the first time that I was
going to Vegas as an adult. As a legally able
to participate in Vegas Things adult. And it
was all going to be paid for by my company. So
I was stoked. I get a notification saying that
my ticket was canceled. Uh -oh. And so I call.
I was told, hey, yeah. So we're going to keep
you home for now. But on Monday. Uh, you're going
to go meet up and we're going to discuss everything
that's going on. So, okay. So I kept chugging
away, kept working, just, uh, real excited for
this, this big Vegas trip. And Monday rolls around.
I go into the office. I get sat down in front
of a laptop in front of the guy that sent me
home from Miami early. And he was like, so business
is going to take a big turn. All this stuff that's
going on. The pandemic and everything. So we're
going to have to furlough you for six months.
And that sucked. It sucked that I got temporarily
fired from a computer screen. I know that I'm
not alone. I mean, I'm not. Oh, woe is me. Like,
things are fine now. But after that, it was crazy
trying to find work. when all these people were
getting fired. But one thing I did have was my
CDL. And after applying all kinds of places,
I knew that I was probably going to fall into
construction because I had a background in construction
and construction didn't stop. It slowed, but
it didn't stop. And so I finally get a call from
this company while I was at Walmart. And it was
like the company that I applied for that I at
least wanted to work at. And he calls me like,
hey, this is whatever from wherever. I was like,
hey, what's up? He was like, we want to hire
you. Like no interview or anything. Literally
just what should have been a sign. That definitely
should have been a sign. But what I ended up
doing was I was hauling cinder blocks from a
manufacturer to construction sites all over the
place. It was crap money, but it was something.
It was real crazy hours dealing with traffic.
First time I was ever in a company vehicle that
had a camera that was pointed out, but also pointed
in. And it would ding if it sensed that you looked
away from the road for too long. If you didn't
have both hands on the wheel. If you break too
hard, if you whatever, whatever, all that stuff.
Obviously, construction in Texas, you're going
to be dealing with a lot of Spanish, which I
can get by. I can't speak it. I can kind of understand
what people are saying most of the time. But
there was no direction for this. They didn't
tell you, yeah, whenever you get there, go here.
So you got this big tractor trailer and. You
just got to find somewhere to park it and go
find someone to talk to where to put it in, trying
to weave it into all these tight spaces and everything.
And overall, the work wasn't too bad. It was
one of those ones that had the forklift on the
back. So that was fun to operate until it was
fun to operate. Once you knew what you were doing,
I lasted there four months and I was just on
the. Like, I had just started, like, getting
used to how everything worked. There was one
time I put the forks in to one of these pallets
that was on the bed of the trailer, and I didn't
realize that I had the one next to it as well.
Lifted it up, sent an entire pallet of cinder
blocks tumbling off the other side. Oh, that's
fun. Yeah, so I had to clean that up. Other than
that, I got called in one time because the AI
said I did something. I was listening to a local
radio station that does like funny bits and stuff
in the morning. And it could not have caught
the worst part of this. And they're like, what
were you listening to? But all in all, it was
a ticket. I mean, it was a sports station, but
they. They talk about some risque things in the
morning. I don't even remember what it was. It
was probably some character that they were doing.
But yeah, so was not a fan of that. Wasn't really
a fan of the job as a whole. And then after that,
after I'd been there for four months, I got the
call when I was making a round trip. It was my
second round trip of the day to Houston. So I
had started at like two in the morning. I picked
up the truck in Dallas, drove to Houston, picked
up a load, came back to Dallas, then had to go
back to Houston. And I was on my way back to
Dallas and I got the call and it was my boss.
And he was like, hey, I think we're ready to
bring you back. It's like, thank the Lord, because
this job is the worst. But I mean, it was it
was with good people. It was just wasn't for
me. It was a good experience, but other than
that, it was a pretty crappy job. I don't have
a ton of good things necessarily to add to this
conversation, largely because I've been in the
same industry for most of my time in the workforce.
And I've been in restaurants for a very long
time. It's not fun a great deal of the time.
It is a... mentally and physically exhausting
job and a lot of people don't see you as people
which is a bummer uh specifically in the same
timeline as the story that you just told like
the serving post -covid was the most dehumanizing
feeling i've ever experienced because i was yeah
i was expected to be on top of A million different
kinds of cleanliness that like I had no control
over. Yeah. Which was really tough. But I also
know that there are a thousand other much crappier
jobs, even in the same kind of industry that
I work in. Because hospitality has a wide variety
of awful subsections. I would never want to work
in like hotel maintenance. I don't think I would
survive as a housekeeping in like hotel housekeeping.
Because the amount of things that I personally
imagine that they have to clean is too much.
To run the risk of you being the person to find
someone deceased is something that I'm not willing
to do. And then once they get the body hauled
out of there, you got to. clean it up real quick
so they can rent it out again. I mean, they'd
have to involve crime scene cleanup people for
that, right? Since it's a massive biohazard.
I've heard conflicting stories. I don't know
if it's always necessary, but I don't know what
their limitations are. Like if they walk into
a room, there's no body or anything, but there's
like blood on something. Do they have special
protocol? Do they have to call somebody? I don't
know. I've stayed in enough hotels that I should
probably have some grasp on it, but I don't know.
I would think that they would probably err on
the side of get it cleaned up and pretend like
it never happened. Yeah. But maybe that's just
my pessimism. I don't know. I would like to think
that. The people that need to be involved are
involved in every scenario, but I know that's
not the case. I think we talked about it in one
of our like really early episodes of like how
haunted hotels would be. And it's something that
like I think about now in the context of like,
I don't know the last time that I was at a hotel,
but I think about it when I think about hotels
and it's that. A lot more people die in hotels
than you think. And a lot of the times it's because
when you're on vacation, the last thing you think
of is your medication, which is insane to me.
I get it. But like, if you think about like older
people, say you have a, you have a heart condition
and you have medication that you have to take
every single day. When you're in your regular
life and your regular routine, you're going to
take that medication every single day. It's a
part of your day. When you're on vacation, you
think you can let go of your normal routine,
including the life -saving heart medication.
It just slips by the wayside. That's not a thing
you're allowed to do. So a lot of people die
in hotels because they don't take their meds.
Huh. Maybe we didn't talk about that. I don't
know. I think it's really interesting. Very sad.
To my knowledge, I can't think of a time where
there has been an ambulance that pulled up to
a hotel that I've been staying in. Lots of fire
alarms. Yeah. There was one time Emily and I
were in a casino and we were on the like 14th
of 16 floors and the fire alarm goes off. And
of course you can't use the elevators when the
fire alarms are going off. Uh, they deactivate
them. They like drop them off at the closest
floor and then stop moving. And we ended up having
to take all of our stuff, throw it into the suitcase
that we brought and Go down 14 flights with it.
When we get down to the lobby, we go and say,
hey, what's going on? Like our fire alarm was
going on off. Is there a fire? Do we need to
do something? And the clerk at the desk just
looked at us like we were crazy. And then they
were like, oh, no. Yeah, there's just a false
alarm on like the. 12th through 14th floor. So
it should be all good. I was like, it should
be or it is? What is it? Uh, no, no, I'm pretty
sure it's good. Yeah, you're good. Go back to
your room, find out. Okay, thanks. So we ended
up taking the elevator back up and everything
was fine as far as we could tell. A couple months
later at that same casino. The fire alarm goes
off and we're on like the casino floor. Nobody
cares. Not a single person could be bothered
to care that the fire alarm is going off. And
then people like people working at the casino
would be walking by and like, hey, should we
be worried about this? And then they're just
like, no, no, you're fine. And then just like
run off in the other direction. So it's reassuring.
I will say that those two experiences have made
me a little jaded to fire alarms a lot more than
I should be. Because after that, there were a
couple of times when I was in, I was traveling
for work and I was in the hotel by myself and
the fire alarm would go off and I just be like,
eh, we'll be fine. If I don't hear like people
making a mad dash down the hall, then I just
don't even bother. But then what if everyone
is going by the same logic and then everyone
just burns to death? I don't know. You're all
just waiting for chicken little. Yeah. The sky
is falling. Yep. So if I die in a fiery inferno,
you'll know why. I got really used to the sound
of fire alarms because there was a while where
the apartment complex or maybe the parking garage
across the street from my apartment would go
off every like couple days. I don't know why.
I don't know if people were. Like if there was
just extreme testing happening in just this one
parking garage. I don't know if someone was just
lighting mini fires just to start things every
couple of days. Keep it interesting. I don't
know. It was awful. I had someone come down from
Baltimore and I was training him to work. In
my field. And we were out and about one day.
It was a Wednesday at noon. If you are in Texas,
Oklahoma, probably Kansas. If you're in Tornado
Alley, you know what happens Wednesdays at noon.
They make sure that the tornado sirens are working.
And it goes off. Guy freaks out. Loses his mind.
He's like, what's that? I was like, oh, no, man,
it's just a tornado siren. What? What? Do we
need to get out of here? No. No, I realized that
I never said that it was a test, but it was a
bright, sunny day. So what does this idiot think?
tornado is going to come out of nowhere. No.
So I, part of it was on me cause I didn't specify
that it was a test, but also this guy's kind
of a dumb, dumb. So I, I, I went with it. It's
like, nah, man, we're good. We're good. No, I
think maybe, I don't know. We hear them all the
time. They're usually nothing. But did you hear
about the one that happened in more? Oh boy.
Yeah. And so. So, I mean, I. If it is not Wednesday
at noon and I hear it, I am. Aware of it. But
I also don't heed much. Much warning from it.
And that's not good. I think that most Southerners
are. very cavalier when it comes to the idea,
or at least not necessarily Southerners, but
yeah, like Tornado Alley people. I think that
they're all just very cavalier about the concept
of a tornado. I think that there's probably a
massive concentration of storm chasers that are
just in this little subsection of America. I
think it blows people's minds that whenever we
hear a tornado siren, most of us, Don't hunker
down. We're out seeing if we can spot it. And
they're not anything to mess around with. That's
not something you want to get caught in. But
it is a rite of passage and a badge of honor
if you're in this area and you can say that you've
seen a tornado with your own two eyes. I don't
think I would ever want to be near a tornado.
I'm fairly certain I've seen one in my lifetime.
Yeah. But like, I'm good. I don't need that badge
of honor. I need to actively seek out the tornadoes.
In the seventh grade, we were learning. I mean,
it wasn't like a new concept or anything like
we knew what tornadoes were, but we. had watched
a video about a famous tornado that happened
in Fort Worth. And it destroyed a very, like
a piece of the Fort Worth landscape or skyline
in downtown. And it just so happened to be the
same building that our mother worked in. And
I told her, hey, guess what? The building that
you were just at all day today? at one point,
was completely ravaged by a tornado. And she
did not appreciate that information. I thought
it was interesting, but she did not find it as
interesting as I did. I mean, you ask me, what'd
you learn at school today? I tell you, and then
you bite my head off, like, not cool, man. You
either want to know or you don't want to know.
It's fine. Tornadoes don't strike the same place
twice, right? That's what I heard. Yeah. And
then if you're real lucky, you get to see twin
lightning. Twisters was a great movie. Is that
a Twisters? Okay. Yes. I have not seen it. We
got twins! That was a good movie. A little Philip
Hamilton and the human Capybara. And it has nothing
to do with my love for Glenn Powell. Hamilton
or Glenn Powell. Yeah. So, I mean, what was your
first job? That probably wasn't a fun one. It
was a Marco's Pizza. I've still been in food
for... All of the time I've been working. Oh,
yeah, that's right. And you were on your way
to manager. What happened? Is it because anyone
with a pulse can be a manager of Marco's Pizza?
I was shockingly offered a better opportunity.
Didn't know there were better opportunities than
Marco's Pizza. But, you know, that was how I
got into. I could have been Chef Marco. Because
you left there to go to serve, right? I did,
yeah. Be a server. I left there for my first
serving job. Yeah. And that was also short -lived
because the post -church crowd are some of the
worst people I've met in my entire life. The
Sunday morning crowd is some of the worst I've
met in my entire life. They're very particular.
They are incredibly mean. Very needy. And I don't
I don't mean this in a like religious people
sense. It is post church in the sense of like
that time frame. So the like 11 a .m. to like
1 p .m. on a Sunday. Anyone who comes to a restaurant
and that. Yes. Brunch people. Absolute nightmares.
Generalization. Sure. But I've worked in the
industry for long enough. I feel able to make
that generalization. And it usually is the case
that they gave all their monies to Jesus and
left you the scraps. I used to get a lot of the
little Jesus loves you pamphlets and the fake
$100 bills. And there is quite honestly nothing.
More sadistic than you not tipping your server,
but instead leaving them a fake hundred dollar
bill. And if you unfold it, it tells you how
to get into heaven. I mean, what would you rather?
Ten bucks now or eternal salvation? Ten bucks
right now. Oh, OK. Wow. Well, I guess I'm confident
in the salvation of my soul. Pay me. I'll look
down and say, hey, miss you. I mean, we both
missed the rapture a couple weeks ago. Were you
on that side of TikTok? No. The newest religious
psychosis? I got all the post -rapture. Oh, man,
you mean it didn't happen? I got all that side.
But I didn't get the time is nigh mess. I don't
think I got any of them directly necessarily.
I think I only ever saw videos that were like
stitched with people who were selling all of
their earthly belongings. For cheap? And for
decently cheap, yeah. For MSRP? I did. It was
a weird thing to watch. Both because it was incredibly
sad if you think about it too hard. And because
why would you worry about selling things if you
think you're getting raptured? Wouldn't you just
like give them away? You don't need them. And
you also don't need the money that you make off
of selling them. It shows a lack of faith. It
does. You can't take it when you die. Why not
just give your earthly belongings to someone
who maybe isn't going to have eternal happiness
and live on a street paved in gold? That is true.
Let us people that aren't going to be saved have
a little bit more fun. The left below. I can
never remember which one is like the actual.
and which one is the Simpsons version? There's
Left Behind and then there's Left Below. Left
Behind is the real one. Left Below is the Simpsons
one. Okay. I am 90 % sure. But they did such
a great job parodying it that I can't tell the
difference. I've never seen either. Or I've never
seen the actual one. My experience with serving
was neutral. I mean, there were good things about
it. There were bad things about it. It was good
that you were getting daily money, but then you
were also being shafted, uh, by, by managers
with your two 13 an hour. And you'd be there
for a hundred hours in a week. And they're going
to say, uh, no, no, I'm pretty sure you were,
you were here for like 20. All right. You're
20 hours. Right? Yeah. The people, I mean, it
wasn't highfalutin, so you got what you got.
Sometimes you'd get good ones, sometimes you'd
get bad ones. It was the first time that I, as
a male, had been told, you should smile more.
How did that make you feel? Did it make you smile
more? No. No. I mean, they're like, you just
look so angry. I was like, I don't look angry.
I look neutral. Like, am I doing my job correctly?
Then that should be it. But no, I definitely
feel for the women that are told that they should
smile more. Like, is this person doing their
job, doing what they were hired on to do and
being paid to do? Are they doing it appropriately
and adequately? Leave them alone. There was a
shift in my first serving job, and I was 16 at
the time, 17 at the time. I was new to serving
and was still learning things. I had a guest
right on the back of his sign slip after he didn't
tip me. Actually, right on both sides of his
sign slip in essentially like 12 -point font
all of the things that were wrong with me. Oh.
And genuine question for anyone willing to answer
me. What has to go wrong in your life for you
to write a dissertation on how your 17 year old
server ruined your life? I don't remember a single
thing that was wrong with me or my service in
that situation. But like, who hurt you? Do you
don't remember any of the notes? I don't. Any
of the tips? I have repressed it, thankfully.
This dude, I don't remember any of the content,
but he was mean. And I was also like 17. So I
was already emotional by nature. And this dude
just like ripped me to shreds at a job that I
had been doing for at that point, maybe like
two months. Did it make you stronger? Did it
make you better? You know, I don't remember any
of his feedback, so the world may never know.
Are you a better server now? I am. Yeah. Hmm.
Interesting. So prior to being chastised by this
random person, you were not as good as you are
now post chastisement. So one could argue that
perhaps, maybe, just maybe. Yeah, I mean, maybe.
I'm actually, I'm good at my job in spite of
him, I believe. Oh, oh, okay. I learned, I have
dedicated my entire life, the entire back half
of my teen years and thus far all of my 20s to
just being better because of Batman. Yeah? Well,
hey, everyone has to have their motivator. Yeah.
If your motivator is to prove this man wrong
for the rest of your life, then at least you'll
be better for it when it's all said and done.
But if if that man is is out there somewhere,
probably not one of our listeners, but I hope
you're doing better, dude. I hope you're not
still berating 17 year olds. Hope you got help.
I hope you got help. I've done. A little bit
of everything. I worked in construction, talking
to myself because no one else spoke English.
I've worked in a kitchen, washing dishes. I have
worked in an arcade, ran laser tag. Fixed games?
What else have I done? I worked at Walmart for
a hot minute. That one was a bad one. I started
overnights, and I was maybe three weeks in, and
that was when our grandmother passed away. I
mean, we knew it was coming. We didn't think
it was going to be this. quick but obviously
I had to drop everything I was doing and go to
Oklahoma and I made sure to call and do all the
steps they told me I needed to do if I wasn't
going to be able to work a shift or whatever
and I did that I let the proper people know through
the proper channels and after we took care of
all that I Come in for the next shift that I
was available. And the manager walks up to me
and says, hey, I noticed you called out for a
couple shifts earlier this week. Just want to
let you know that you are on a probationary period
and you're not allowed to call out for the first
three months. I was like, oh, OK. I'll go tell
my grandma. Good to know. Um, yeah, my grandma
died, but, uh, yeah, sorry I wasn't here to throw
this dog food on the shelf. And then, and then,
uh, after that, I had spoken to some people and
that's when I got on to the construction crew
and I go in and I did what I thought was right.
Instead of just, uh, rolling up in there, flipping
the double bird and say, I'm out of here. Uh,
I wrote a letter to the same manager said, Hey,
thanks for the opportunity. Uh, just want to
let you know that due to circumstances, uh, I
have to 10 year my resignation. So it wasn't
a two weeks notice or anything. Uh, I go in there
and I'm not scheduled to work, but I hand him
this letter. He reads it. Oh, what you're leaving
us. Yeah. Oh, I was really hoping that you'd
stick around. That's what they all say. Well,
I'm not. So thanks. Bye. And I got out of there.
And I don't know. I don't assume that's every
person that works at Walmart's experience. I'm
sure everyone's dealt with a little bit of that.
But it was just like the. The stereotypical like.
we're going to treat you like you have no other
option so we can just do whatever we want. And
it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I stopped
going to Walmart for a long time after that.
Was not a fan. Every time I'm in that Walmart,
I always get an itchy feeling. I can see that.
So that was one of the more crappier jobs that
I've had. And then after that, after construction,
I went into where I'm a different company, but
where I'm at now. And then from there, I moved
into the current company and been doing this
for me. My son, we're just talking about it this
morning going on 13 years now. Oh, wow. So that's
impressive. You're about to get your picture
on the wall. If only it was 13 years with the
same company. Oh, nevermind. I've got, uh, I'm
going into seven, I think, or going into eight
here. So we'll, uh, we'll see. I did, I did get
my extra week of vacation though. So. Okay. Nice.
Look at you go. I think after 10, you get like
a full year or not a full year, a full month.
You get a full month. You get four weeks. After
10 years, you get to take the 11th off. Wouldn't
that be something? What is a, what would be like
the worst job for you personally? Like I, I was
thinking about it and I think. One of the worst
jobs that I could ever have would be like a celebrity's
personal assistant. I think that would be absolutely
miserable. You get a lot of runoff, though. You
make good connections. You could be the next
Kim Kardashian. Hard pass. Well, I mean, wouldn't
you like to be able to admit that you have no
concept of how much a gallon of milk costs? No.
As it stands, would never be comfortable admitting
on the internet that I don't know what a gallon
of milk costs. I think it would be maybe a decent
place to be financially, but I don't want to
be so out of touch with reality that I don't
get to do my own grocery shopping every now and
again. I mean, you could. You could go the Michael
Jackson route and send people beforehand, yeah,
to empty it out. And then you can go just so
you can remember what it's like to go pick up
your Twinkies and Ho -Hos on your own. That sounds
awful. To be the only person that's not an employee
in that store. All of these people outside because
they know that something big is happening. That's
why they got booted out of the grocery store.
And then for every employee to just be like trying
to sneak a peek or like get a picture of you.
Awful. No, thank you. I mean, there's got to
be some perks to it. Yeah. The runoff you get.
Your celebrity uses a Prada bag. to walk from
the store to the car just so they can get some
money from Prada. And then that bag goes in a
pile. Like, hey, can I have this? And they're
like, yeah, I guess. It's garbage, but sure,
you can have it. And then you got yourself a
brand new Prada bag. Don't you want that runoff?
I don't. I don't think so. My... purse is a backpack
from ross and that's kind of the the quality
that i i tend to stick with david schwimmer yes
it's got dinosaurs on it let's see what would
my least favorite job be i've been in the vicinity
when uh the porta potty cleaner guy comes out
i don't think you could pay me enough to do that
is it just like a vacuum it is a vacuum yeah
And they just they route it around in there and
then take it from point A to point B and then
got to go dump it all. I learned in looking up
some stuff for this episode what a honey wagon
was. I have no clue what that is. Honey wagon
is a large truck whose entire purpose is to transport.
septic tank contents. That is a very deceptive
name for a pretty gross thing. I know that septic
tank emptying is incredibly important. But I
didn't want to know that they were called honey
wagons. Why are they called honey wagons? What
are you going to call it? A shit truck? Yes.
The poo pickup? yes i would like poo patrol to
empty my septic the crap caravan i mean it's
like it's uh it's like when uh a morbidly obese
person is named tiny that's like what you can't
call him fatty mcfat fat so you just call him
tiny and it's just as insulting So you can't
call it the crap wagon. So you just have to call
it the honey wagon. And everyone gets the joke
and everyone feels a little better. Oh, honey,
I got to get up at four. I'm driving the honey
wagon. Sounds a lot better than I got to get
up at four and haul people's shit from one place
to the next. So. I'm all for that name. I do
support the port -a -potty imp years as the worst
job because I am genuinely terrified of port
-a -potties. There was a time where I was...
I didn't have direction in my life. I wasn't
sure that I wanted to go to school and get a
degree. I wasn't sure that I wanted to find a
trade and go that route. But in my decision making
process, one thing I did know that I did not
want to do was deal with other people's. Yeah.
Whether it be blood or. Et cetera. Et cetera.
Yes. And so that immediately took plumbing out
of the equation. I would much rather have been
electrocuted with 300 kilovolts. than to get
someone else's mess on me. Fair. Plumbers make
great money. They know what they're doing. Electricians
make great money. I would think that electricians'
work is a lot more dangerous, but you're also,
your chances of getting some OPP, other people's
poop, on you. It's far less with being an electrician
than it would be a plumber. In any of the jobs
that we talk about, though, the odds are never
zero. They're never zero. The job I'm doing now,
I have run into situations where I have been
in proximity to other adult humans' leavings.
And I'm not a fan of it. I do not appreciate
it. And so even with the best laid plans, still
the one thing I said I didn't want to happen,
I still run into it. Yeah. I've heard some horror
stories about the industry that I'm in. None
that I care to share because they are very gross.
But there's a lot of incidents in the restaurant
industry. that happen with people's various bodily
fluids or solids. Like leaving a streak on a
booth? What are we talking about? There was a
specific instance. I had a manager that was telling
me about a time that he was bartending at Chili's.
And there was a nice, pretty old man who was
a regular there. And there was a point when he
was just hanging out that... The rest of the
people around him started to notice a smell.
He he hangs out there for a while longer and
he gets up and goes to the bathroom. And as he
goes to the bathroom or like goes to leave, he
leaves a trail behind him. It's like breadcrumbs
to find his way back to the table. I believe
so. Yes. And so he just left the trail of waste
behind him that he was not because he was just
like chilling. So he was not aware of. any of
this. Was he inebriated? Was this an alcohol
-induced situation? From what I understand, from
the way the story was told to me, he was just
old and not aware of what he was doing. And this
was at a Chili's. Because this is Applebee's
behavior. This is not Chili's behavior. I mean,
it could have been tolerated at the Chili's at
a certain point in time. Chili's has been elevated
in recent times. There was one time, and I was
going to say no offense, but definitely offense,
because this is the worst city I've been to.
And I don't care if you're from there. Your place
sucked. Oakland, San Francisco. Awful. God awful
place to be. Alcatraz is cool. Golden Gate is
eh. But everything else just straight up sucks.
Emily and I were there. We were at an Applebee's.
And there was a fella who... just walked, casually
walked in with a handle of gin and was just taking
swigs from the bottle. And no one said a word
to him. Not a single person. He sits at a table
in the bar area. The server comes up to him.
He's got this handle and he's just taking swigs
of it, orders his food like nothing's up. 15
minutes in, he starts getting antsy. And just
starts like doing laps around the bar with his
bottle of gin and then goes outside for a little
bit and then comes back in. His food gets delivered.
He's not there. He's off in wherever. No one
says a damn thing to him. And I can't think of
an Applebee's anymore without thinking of that
incident and how I never want to step foot in
an Applebee's again. I don't know if it's a California
thing. I know their customs are a little different.
But holy moly, I just, I don't get it. The last
time that I went to an Applebee's, which was
a long time ago, but not long enough for this
to make sense, there was a smoking section. And
I think that is the only thing that you could
possibly need to give you a measure of quality
for Applebee's. Was that in Texas? Yeah, it was
in DFW, in Burleson, I believe. An active smoking
section? They had an active smoking section.
Like people just lighting up? There was a person
smoking, but it was like it was labeled as the
smoking section. And I remember at that point
being just taken aback because what do you mean
there's a smoking section? I think it would blow
the kids' minds if we went somewhere and there
was a smoking section. Like I remember there's
a Denny's that we went to. as kids around here
that would have the restaurant and then there's
this door you can go through and then it's just
covered like wall -to -wall windows and just
a hazy hazy picture of all these people eating
their eggs over my hammy with a virginia slim
and i can still vividly remember it and thinking
about how Gross, that is, and just how bananas
it is that you can't be away from your cigarettes
for long enough to just have a meal and then
step outside and go partake in your cancerous
endeavors. I don't think I don't understand why
that would be enjoyable. I don't either. Having
to do your activities together like. It doesn't
feel like there should be overlap in that situation.
Are you in a rush? Could you not smoke on the
commute to wherever you're headed next? Oh, I
will say that there was a time where it was novel
to us. And so we tried it out and it's not fun.
It's not. Everything tastes gross. Whenever you're
not partaking and everyone else is, it just it's
nasty. And so I just I'm glad that that is a
thing of the past. And even now, like we were
we went to a trunk or treat this last weekend
and we were walking back to the car and a dude
in front of us just lights up a cigarette and.
the kids like gagged like, you don't know what
trunk or treat is. No, I was asking if this was
at the trunk or treat. Uh, I mean, it was, uh,
like he was around the children smoking a cigarette.
Uh, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was, um,
we were kind of in a different section. Like
there was a trunk or treat over here and then
there was some other stuff to do over here. We
were walking back towards the trunk or treat
area, but yeah, it just lights up a cigarette
and we're downwind of them. And the, uh, The
kids have no chill when it comes to that. Like,
oh, what's that smell? Oh, yeah, that's that's
my kids. You shame him. You shame him. You save
his life. And yeah, I mean, like you're just
it's it's not like a relaxing thing. It's you
are actively doing something like you're getting
in cardio. So you're getting your heart going,
your lungs going. And then at the same time,
you are also destroying your lungs. So you're
sending your body some real mixed signals. Smoking's
bad, kids. Don't do it. Not even once. Vaping
is just as bad, if not worse. Don't do that either.
Yeah. Oh, man. Vapors. Good Lord. That was something
that we did encounter, like at the trunk retreat
itself, was a woman walking with her kid, just
reaches. threw her collar into her bra and pulls
out one of those, I don't know what they're,
the vape things. The geek bars, probably. Yeah.
I mean, back in my day, you had to go to a place
to get the fluid and then you doused your little
cotton doohickey. You built a very cool modded
rig. Yeah. That's how you got your vape. Not
this pre -made stuff you buy at the gas station.
Disposables. We're such a... consumerist society.
Even when it comes to our nicotine. Now, a lot
of people have moved on to the nicotine pouches.
And I, again, from the standpoint of a server,
hate them. They leave them all over the place?
They leave them everywhere. They get stuck to
the bottom of tables, the bottom of chairs. They
get stuck to plates, and by the time your spit
dries, it is glued to the plate that it's on.
They are discarded all over the ground in the
restaurant where I have to usually by hand pick
them up at the end of the night. The reason,
like there's a lot of reasons that that frustrates
the hell out of me. But the number one is that
I know because Nate uses the little nicotine
pouches. I know for a fact that those things
come with a little holder for all of your discards
at the top of the container. You are choosing
to do this. Why? There was a day that I had a
like big party and it was on a like patio. And
so it was on like gravel. All of these tables
were set up on gravel and it was all like 20
something dudes. And I think the perfect target,
like the perfect encapsulation of the demographic
for those little pouches is 20 something dudes.
The Shane Gillis crowd. The Shane Gillis crowd.
Yes. By the time they left, there was basically
just like a blanket under the table of the little
Zens. And I had to pick them up by hand because
it was a gravel patio. Did you at least have
gloves? I did, yeah. But that doesn't, that's
not the point. Every one of those containers
that those little pouches came out of had a discard
bin. Did they at least tip well? There was not
a crap. They didn't have to. Be that as it may.
But did they do the classy thing and tip on top
of it? They did not. Oh, dang. Just silliness.
It is silly. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Why would you stick it to your chair or your
plate or your table? I don't understand. I didn't
understand when people did it with gum. I really
don't understand it when people do it with their
little nicotine pouches. Yeah. I don't know,
man. Nobody cares about nobody else. That's true.
But you talked about your... the job that you
would least want, what is the job that you would
most want? I would want to be a professional
animator. I would want to do something in the
arts. Have you thought of moving to Korea? I
have, actually. Yeah? I don't know how hard it
is to get a visa there, but I think that it would
be very cool to live in South Korea. I mean,
I can't imagine it's any harder than like Discover
or MasterCard. You just got to fill out the application.
Run your credit score. I think Visa is actually
one of the easier ones to get. Are they different
in Korea? Maybe. I don't know. Are they called
resus? Stop it. I love Koreans. Some of my...
people i've known have been korean so some of
your people you've known i've known koreans okay
proud of you yeah at least i think they were
korean oh god what is what is your dream job
what would you want to do in an ideal world um
i love this podcasting stuff If I could clock
in and do the talkie talks and then everyone
else does all the other parts, that'd be a nice,
that would be a dream come true. That would be
cool. I think in that case, you might want to
look into being a radio personality first. Getting
good with like iHeartMedia. Oh, I think I already
have an in. With iHeartMedia. Really? What end
do you have with iHeartMedia? Adjacent. Use those
connections, man. Yeah? Get on the big boys streaming
podcast streamers. Yeah? I could be the next
Rogan? Yeah. I could be the next... Do you want
to be the next Rogan? Corolla? I think Corolla's
more my speed than Rogan. Yeah? I could see that.
I've never listened to Corolla's podcast, but.
All right. So. We've talked about our. Crappy
jobs. We've talked about what we think are the
crappiest jobs we could ever have. We've talked
about the jobs that maybe the future holds in
store for us. What do you have to say? To people
who are maybe. Lost in the shuffle. Trying to
find their way to the best job. What's the best
way to avoid a crappy job? I think I'm the wrong
person to ask that question to. I am pretty pessimistic
when it comes to the job market these days. I
think that what has transpired has been just
a bunch of silliness. A lot of the jobs that
were entry level at one point are being overtaken
by AI. And the jobs that, like, I've had a degree
for four years now, and I applied to things from
my junior year of college. And the longer I spent
on that process, the more I realized that there
weren't actual people seeing any of my applications.
So it didn't matter if I was qualified for the
job. It didn't matter if I was the right personality,
the right skill set, the right tenacity for the
position. I was never going to get in front of
an actual person. Because it is all run through
applicant tracking systems before it gets to
an HR person, maybe. And then it's just, it's
a, I don't think there's a whole lot of dodging
the crappy jobs at the moment. My suggestion
to whoever needs to hear this would be no matter
what the job is, do your best, make the best
of it. Things will fall in line how they're supposed
to. Maybe just got to ride it out. Maybe you
got to vacuum out porta potties for a hot minute
before you get that dream job. Just make the
best of it and keep on keeping on. And then if
you do everything you're supposed to, then things
will fall in line for you. Don't lose hope. Wise.
wise words thanks all right and on that we'll
see you peace out girl scouts