So too bad mom and dad didn't get divorced before
you were born. And here we go. Welcome to Cash
Exchange Presents. What up? How are you doing
today? You know, I've been better. I'm running
on less sleep than I'd like to be running on.
Behind the curtain, we ran into some snafus.
Just a bit. Recently. And so we're putting out
those fires. And just making the best of it,
you know? We are unfortunately playing a little
bit of ketchup today, but it is all good. We're
getting there. I'm a mustard man. I cannot stand
ketchup. Mustard mayonnaise. Me either. Or tomatoes.
Mayonnaise is an incorrect choice. I like tomatoes
and their variations. I don't like tomatoes as
themselves. I don't like ketchup. I don't like
tomatoes, but I love salsa. I do love salsa.
I will occasionally drink tomato juice. Very
occasionally. I don't know. Not a tomato person.
You like Clamado? I have never and will never
try Clamado juice. That sounds genuinely awful.
I also... You like Bloody Marys? No. I don't
think that a... Spicy alcohol tomato juice drink
is the best way to start your day if if I am
wrong Then people are more than welcome to correct
me, but it's a hair of the dog boot and rally
Why is that supposed to be a good thing? Well,
because when you're drinking your way up here
Then when you wake up hung over your way down
here So you just need to bring yourself up just
a hair just a hair of the dog if you will How
is that why it's called that? No, I don't know.
Okay. I mean, I believe you but I think that
Bloody Marys are gross. I also don't like vodka,
so I'm kind of O for two on Bloody Marys. I don't
get the fascination with whoring them up, throwing
bacon in there, putting an entire cheeseburger
on top. It's also silly. The full meal. Drinking
on its own is pretty silly, but if you have to
bedazzle it and make it all pretty in order to
enjoy it, then maybe find a different hobby.
Find something else to do. There's places you
can get a full meal that's called a Bloody Mary
and it's like 40 bucks. Like no thank you. Ew.
Hard pass. So I get to finish off my meal with
a gross chunky tomato drink. I'm good. Those
sliders have been hanging out behind the bar
for who knows how long. They don't make a single
slider to order for your Bloody Mary. No, they're
those little frozen White Castle sliders. I did
like those frozen White Castle sliders. Have
you ever had actual White Castle? I have. It
made me immediately very, very ill. Yeah. I do
not get the fascination. They sell their food
in units of the bag that it occupies. And there
is nothing that I've ever heard that is more
American than selling mozzarella sticks by the
bag. You know, we went on a road trip to Illinois
and we stopped in Missouri and got White Castle.
And the last 45 minutes maybe of that trip were
absolute hell. I had just it was it was the worst.
Was it coming or going or both? It was staying
put very uneasily. Yeah last time I had White
Castle was in Phoenix or Tucson one of those
two then yeah that's not impressed. I will stick
to my microwave White Castle burgers or I can
just cook a burger with little holes poked into
it in Onions. There you go. Same diff. It was
something to write home about. I told mom and
Emily how much it sucked, so. Yeah. You can ask
Nate about my take on White Castle. I'm more
likely to tell people how much something sucks
than how good it was. That is a universal truth.
On average, people are statistically likely to
tell ten people about a bad experience and only
three people about a good experience. Yeah. Anyway.
Annie Housel. So our movie for today is Slumber
Party Massacre. The OG from 82. Yes. How did
you feel about this movie? What are your initial
thoughts? Not great. No. It had its moments.
The whole genesis of it made no sense. You don't
have to write Schindler's List. You don't have
to write Dark Knight to give me just a very basic
reason for why these events are unfolding the
way they are. The antagonist in this movie, just
pops up and decides he picks his target just
out of nowhere. And then it just, it goes on
from there. Acting -wise, eh, okay. Boobs -wise,
two thumbs up. I hate, honestly, that we are
deep in this series because every movie that
we've talked about so far, you have rated on
a scale of boobs to no boobs. You know, Barney
Stinson kind of fashion. And I thought in a couple
scenes in this movie, that this is going to make
up for the last three that we've watched that
had no boobs. Oh, it did. It did. This one is
just, it's several scenes of just boob. Boob.
And butts. Lots of butts. Panning down to butts.
Panning back up from butts. Panning rooms with
butts. One man ass. So we're continuing that
tradition. And yeah, I mean, I would love to
say that the boob saved it, but it did not. I...
did the same thing that I did with one of the
ones that has now ended up on the cutting room
floor. And I looked into the Reddit posts about
this movie after I had watched it, because I
was curious what other people thought about the
movie. Because I'm always interested in other
perspectives. And one of the big things that
came out about this movie was that it was supposed
to be a satire on the slasher. And it was written
in this feminist scope. by a, if I remember correctly,
a lesbian director. And so it was, I think if
they had leaned harder into it being this like
slasher satire and it had been more campy cheesy
joke horror, it would have been better. But a
lot of the movie, it feels like they don't know
what they're trying to be. That's bouncing between
two different things. It is a 50 -50 of trying
to be this like... parody on the concept and
it trying to be like no guys I'm a real slasher
and it kind of because of that fails to deliver
on either yeah it was it was written as a and
at the time I'm sure this was this was fresh
and new and and you go girl now it's definitely
not it falls into it has its own set of tropes
that a lot of movies after it fell into which
is all the boys are dumb complete idiots. All
of them are perverts. All of them just want to
touch that today and then the girl saves the
day. I do not appreciate that statement. Have
you? Okay, this is a side note, but after this
episode is over, I need everyone to go check
out Just One, Jim Carrey on SNL. It is a parody
of Soul Train and Jim Carrey sings a song called
Just One. And I need everyone to check it out
because it is one of my favorite things ever.
But yeah, it's all the same thing. It's the tropes,
but for the women. So one of the reasons that
a lot of the stuff didn't come through was because
of the producer, something, Corman. He had a
studio, the one that greenlit this movie, that
was... known for its like exploitation movies.
And so this got that treatment onto it. He has
had a rule for all of his movies. It was like
his code. There never needs to be more than a
10 minute span where there is not sex or violence
in one of his movies. And apparently, there were
a lot of days where actors would come into work.
This thing only took three weeks to film. They
would come into work. and there would be script
rewrites that added more nudity or for a scene
to be gorier or anything like that. I didn't
count. In retrospect, I think I would have counted
the number of nude scenes that there were that
just didn't add literally anything to the film
because I counted how many deaths there were
in the span of the hour and 13 minutes runtime
that this movie has. And I'm pretty sure it's
about a one -to -one. of the amount of nude scenes
versus the amount of actual deaths. No, I think
the only reason you're thinking that is because
one of the scenes goes egregiously long and adds
nothing. Sure. It adds something from the aspect
of the main girl that's hosting the slumber party
and then this girl that just moved into town
that's like the shy, reserved... one that doesn't
have any friends. And the only thing it does
is it kind of shows that the main girl is trying
to reach a handout to this girl that she knows
is probably pretty lonely. And then that immediately
gets torpedoed by one of her friends. And so
the girl doesn't end up going anyways, but she
lives right across the street. So it's a huge
dick move, but yeah. I mean, it's a dick move
in that they're talking about this very loudly
in the locker room that the girl is also in.
But she's still, like the girl who's hosting
this still invites her. She does. And is only
saying positive things about her. I don't know
that it's really a dick move. Well, I mean, what's
really annoying is that the protestor, the biggest
protestor, is the one that is not there. She
goes and then wants to leave immediately. Yeah,
that's fair. So... She already knows that this
girl is flighty. This girl wants to spend all
of her time with her boyfriend. So what harm
is it really going to be if the only naysayer
is not actually going to have to interact with
this girl? And there's... Power move. One of
the reasons when the bitch girl and the main
girl are talking about why they don't want Valerie,
the girl across the street and the new girl,
to come to... the shindig is because, what's
the friend's name? Diane. Diane is jealous of
how good Valerie is at basketball. And she's
too pretty. And she's too pretty. I can tell
you right now, Valerie is not good at basketball.
There's a whole, they do a whole scrimmage and
the one black girl on the team, they throw the
ball to her, they like two hand pass it. It's
like... These people have never seen basketball.
They can't dribble. They can't pass. They can't
anything. Anyways, this girl makes a shot. It
is, I don't know, roughly two and a half feet
from the rim. Just nothing but backboard. And
then Valerie rebounds it and like waddle dribbles
to the other side and then misses. Ball goes
out and then she rebounds it and then it's a
layup. And then, oh, she is so great at basketball.
So I don't think that is an appropriate reason
to be hateful to Valerie. Noted. So we start
out with an establishing shot of a neighborhood.
You get one of my least favorite tropes in film,
which is the paper boy. The paper boy always
has perfect aim and somehow always delivers a
paper with the headline perfectly readable. Facing
up, yeah. And every house gets a paper. Yeah.
This is the first time that we know that there
is a man named Russ Thorne who has escaped. after
murdering, I believe it was three people. This
is the first of three times that we see Russ
Thorne's backstory phrased exactly the same way
like it has any more impact on the story. Yeah,
no other details. We hear it in two separate
radio broadcasts after we see this headline on
a newspaper that just say that Russ Thorne has
escaped after killing three people. The side's
still on the loose. And it's still on the loose.
So we get the first scene that we have is Trish
waking up. This is also within the first two
maybe minutes of the movie oops Two minutes and
two seconds, but who's keeping track two minutes
and two seconds into this movie and She she wakes
up to a woman screaming on the radio. It says
what did I win $100 and the DJ says you want
a t -shirt and then he calls out the the station
What does it call call sign? I think. And it's
K -D -E -D. K -Dead. I thought it was pretty
funny. That's one of those campy things that
if they had leaned into it would have made this
a better movie. Yeah. If it had just been all
silliness like that. Should have, would have,
could have. Also, the first moment that you see
Trish, who is our protagonist in this movie,
this is no shade, but I hate when they cast people
that are significantly older than the character
that they're supposed to be, especially when
that character is supposed to be like either
a child or, like, barely an adult. This woman
is 26 years old during the filming of this movie,
and she is 18. But she looks at least my age.
Like, she looks every bit of 26. She definitely
looks in her 20s. I couldn't find a lot of information
about, like, how old the rest of the cast was,
because most of them haven't really gone on to
do a lot else. But they are... The only other
person that I found was 21, and that was, I believe,
Valerie. Huh. the pretty neighbor girl across
the street, but like... Interesting. None of
them look like they are anywhere near 18 years
old. Given the gratuitous nudity, I'm very glad
that they didn't cast anyone anywhere near 18
years old, or that looked anywhere near 18 years
old, but come on. Yeah. Yeah. When she wakes
up, she, of course, undresses, because you have
to in these types of movies. Boobies are flailing
all over the place. Puts on a dress and then
starts collecting random items from her room
mostly like toys and puts them in a paper sack.
She goes outside with the paper sack and her
books and her parents are getting into the car
because they are about to go away. And this is
where we find out that Trish has just turned
18 and so they're trusting her to stay home alone.
But she's not going to be fully home alone because
the neighbor missed her. It was weird. Content.
content, uh, is going to be watching over her.
And you're like, okay. I don't think they thoroughly
vetted this man. Has this guy been Russ Thorne
the whole time? No, no. There's a, and I think
it's a, it's a red herring. It's, uh, you're
supposed to thank this neighbor's up to something.
And... Were you? Um, yes. Especially later on.
It's weird because he looked like, uh, a mashup
of Robert Redford and Guy Pearce. Okay. He was
a handsome dude. So parents leave. Trish goes
on her merry way to school with her books. She
drops that bag of toys into the trash. Which,
who could have donated those? Trish? She put
them in the bag with so much like haste as she
was getting ready for school. Is this because
she's trying to like prove to her friends at
the sleepover that she's an adult now? is this
like her transition into adulthood is throwing
away all the the toys because that feels a bit
on the nose. I didn't think about that but that
does make sense now that you say it. That seems
like something a screenwriter would think that
someone would do. I feel like we're it's also
a little gratuitous that she's freshly minted
18. Like that's that's done a great deal through
the movie. And then as she's walking away we
see someone pick up the Barbie out of the bag
and then she's off to Esquiela. and we immediately
go into the basketball scene. No, no, we don't.
Never mind. No, we're in the parking lot. There
is a pretty blonde lady who is in the subtitles.
Her character's name is just female. Love to
see it. She has about 45 seconds, maybe, of screen
time where the two boys whose names are Neil
and Jeff, they see her on this ladder. We get
my name. Yeah, like. immediately into the scene.
She gets down off this ladder as she has presumably
fixed the phones in the school and he starts
hitting on her immediately. She is shockingly
not taken aback by this 18 year old boy's advances,
not interested. And so Neil pulls Jeff away because
he has clearly not succeeded in his efforts.
They're walking into the school and the phone
maintenance lady is pulled into her own van and
killed with a giant drill. Yeah. She gets drilled
real hard. I phrased it the way that I did on
purpose. Stop it. I mean, isn't it nice, though,
to see a woman in a job that's usually taken
over by men? Her character name is Female. No.
Would you have felt better if she was stunning
and brave female for taking on such an arduous
job that is usually reserved for men? Vice Principal
Strong Woman. No, I would not have. Oh, okay.
Well, now we get to the basketball scene and
now we see the future of the WNBA. Valerie, man.
She's getting it. She is. We have a very long
shower scene where they're in the locker room
and it's just all boobs. And butts. And butts.
One girl asks another girl to borrow her bar
soap, which I thought was weird. I don't think
that's a thing you share. I wouldn't either,
but just hopping back just real quick. Whenever
Jackie, the black girl, misses the shot, the
coach says, that's not a smart move, Jackie.
Larry Bird, you ain't. And I just wanted to make
sure that was, make sure people knew that line
existed in this world. But the first line you
hear as they're walking into the showers is,
you know, I think your tits are getting bigger.
And then all of them in unison. It was like that
scene from Finding Nemo because they just say,
mine? All together as a chorus. You know, I think
your tits are getting bigger. Mine? And I chuckled.
It made me laugh. Yeah. Another point in their
favor. It's silliness. And then, of course, we
get Diane post shower. Just being a bitch for
no reason. That's another common trope, and it's
usually the females that are just hateful with
no justification. I think that's just teenagers.
Yeah, maybe. It's been a while since I've been
one. But we get a conversation in the locker
room where Valerie is one row of lockers away,
still very much able to hear them and their conversation.
Trish is still going to invite Valerie to her
sleepover despite Diane's protest. and she goes
to invite her after Valerie decides that she's
had enough of this. She goes to storm out of
the locker room. Trish invites her and she just
like gets very emotional, says, no, I can't,
and then just leaves. Which is, I mean, is a
reasonable reaction if you've overheard people
talking about you, I guess. But Trish turns around
from the door and goes, she heard. Yes, you were
speaking at full volume, two feet from her. I
don't know if you've ever been in a locker room,
but all that thin metal and concrete walls is
a prime for just Echo City. It's not hard to
hear something from across the room or the other
side of a set of lockers. So we cut to all of
these people, all of these girls walking out
of the school. Linda says, oh no, I forgot something
and has to go back inside. Doesn't she know what
kind of movie she's in? You can't go back by
yourself. This is true. We always use the buddy
system. Linda has not found her exit buddy. So
she returns to the school, passes by Coach Jana,
who tells her that they are about to lock the
school and that she needs to hurry. And apparently
she meant that in like the next two seconds they're
going to lock this school down. Yeah. She goes
into the locker room where her textbooks are
stored. And I didn't go to a school with like
full scale locker rooms and showers and all of
that, but wouldn't you not want to keep your
textbooks in the place that's about to get all
or that stays steamy for most of the day. You
think so. And then when she gets her book, she
just leaves it wide open. She does, yeah. I thought
there was going to be a note left or something
to do with that locker being open at some point.
There was no return on that investment. We never
go back to the locker room. We go back to the
locker room. When? I don't. Right after this.
Yeah. So she has collected her textbook. She
is trying to get out, realizes that, surprise,
all the doors are already locked. Oh, I just
consider that the whole thing. But yes, she does
actively leave the locker room and then come
back. Yeah. So she is trying all of the doors.
Nothing. She tries the door on the far end of
the school and who pops up, who we are to assume
is Russ Thorne. I call him the dentist because
he's got a drill. That's how I put him for the
rest of the notes. Can we call him the tooth
fairy? I would much prefer him to be the actual
tooth fairy. We can call him the tooth fairy.
I mean, wouldn't he be the... Cable guy, since
he took the phone operator lady's drill. Yeah.
Man, take another woman's job. I bet he makes
more, too. So, Linda is confronted with this
man with a drill, who immediately drills right
through her arm. With an auger bit. Where are
my construction boys at? She is running through
the school and decides the best course of action
is to go back into the locker room. Yeah, because
the doors have been chained from the inside,
which is a huge fire hazard. How do you suppose
the last person gets out in a situation like
this? Is there a person that just like, is there
an overnight security guard at this school? I
just has to stay in the school? I don't know.
I would assume that there are doors outside of
the gym and locker rooms that are still able
to be left out of. But for right now, All Windows
options are currently not available to her. That's
correct. So she is hiding under a table while
the dentist is wandering around the locker room
trying to figure out where she went. She is,
I don't know if it's a point to her credit or
a point against the movie, the most silent person
I've ever seen hiding from a serial killer. That
is currently bleeding out. In... Every single
movie, every horror movie, regardless of its
scale, budget, whatever, the person who is hiding
from the serial killer is hyperventilating. They
are trying their absolute damnedest not to scream.
She is straight chilling under this table. He,
because she is completely silent, he can't find
her. She is actively bleeding out and finds a
towel to stem the flow of blood out of her arm
and as the dentist decides that this locker room
is not where she is and goes to leave. She is
unable to catch the blood that is seeped underneath
the door that she is, she's hiding behind. Lucky
for him. The dentist looks down. It's right between
his legs. And bye Linda. I will say she delivers
one of the best screams I've heard in horror
in a long time. That is a good one. She absolutely
killed it. You want to know some? some drill
facts that I have accrued over my years of using
drills. What do you got? One, an auger bit, which
is the kind he uses, is made for making bigger
holes. They're different than regular drill bits.
That's not the type of drilling that you'd want
to do if you were trying to attack somebody.
You need a full bit. Two, The more you use a
drill bit, especially on harder surfaces like,
I don't know, femur, a skull, a door, a lock,
any of those, your blade's gonna get duller,
or your bit's gonna get duller. As it gets duller,
it gets harder and harder to go through materials.
It can get to a point where the... drill bit
bites down on the material and instead of the
drill bit spinning, the drill starts spinning
and you can very easily snap your wrist. And
I wish that had been part of this movie. That
he goes to drill into somebody, it catches and
then instead of the drill bit going in, it just
snaps his wrist. Very easy to dislocate an arm,
especially with as high power to drill as he
has. It's battery operated. In the 1980s the
first battery operated drill was from Black and
Decker in the 60s and back then you could not
use them for extended periods of time without
having to recharge them. So after every attack
he would just be sitting by an outlet waiting
for the three lights on his drilled battery to
light up and then he's good to go to kill again
or he's just got a ridiculous supply of charged
batteries on him at all times. And back then
they were pretty bulky. Which would kind of make
sense, because we don't know what the phone technician's
workload looked like. So it would make sense
if the back of that van just had like a wall
of battery. Do we know that was hers? What? Do
we know the drill was hers? Or did he just bring
it with him? I assumed it was hers. Oh. I mean,
that's a fair assumption to make. in the screenwriter's
intent and all their feministic wisdom was for
the the drill to be a symbol of male aggression
due to its phallic shape. This was this was multiple
accounts of the intention of the screenwriter
that the drill was supposed to represent his
Weiner So those are my drill facts you may continue
those were some fun drill facts After Linda dies
we get our third mention of this guy's backstory
We are not even 20 minutes into this movie and
no new information. No new information we have
a I wrote random musical break in my notes and
I Quite honestly do not remember what that was
in reference to it's something to do with mr.
I think if I am not mistaken, this is where Trish
comes home and there's just a dude in her house.
And I did at this point forget who Mr. Content
was, that he was the neighbor. And I was like,
who is this guy in her house? Yeah. Who's that
guy? It's Mr. Content. He says the door was open.
And so he just wanted to like look around for
a little bit. Make sure everything was okay.
Make sure everything was okay. And that's it.
They go into the kitchen, she makes some coffee.
They're just chatting for a little bit. What
you didn't mention was that this weird musical
break was her playing on the piano. That's what
it was, okay. It was very, very out of tune.
It was, yes. And then... all of a sudden she
hears a sound and then, oh, it's you. The trope
that gets used in this movie most, the one that
irritates the hell out of me is that there is
so, so many moments where it's a jump scare and
it's just like a friend. Someone gonna die? Yeah,
probably, but not this time around. It happens
so often. It does. Throughout 73 minutes of runtime.
So much so that whenever the killer actually
does show up and kill somebody you're like, okay,
cool. Finally. At least something's happening.
At least something is happening. It's not like,
oh surprise. It's Jeff and Neil or whatever Valerie's
sister's name is. Courtney. Courtney. Then we
cut to Valerie making Kool -Aid for herself and
Courtney. In this, we get a Jonestown Massacre
joke, and I Googled it because I was like, what
time frame is this in? There's a four year difference
in when the Jonestown Massacre happened and when
this movie was released. So it was pretty fresh.
I don't know what the timeline is for a Drink
the Goulet joke, but I think four years is a
little narrow. The Abraham Lincoln killing just
became funny. I need to see this play like I
need a hole in the head. Yeah. And I do want
to point out that they made the cardinal mistake,
which everyone does it, of confusing Kool -Aid
with the Jonestown massacre. It was flavor aid
in Jonestown, not Kool -Aid. And then she, so
she pours in the Kool -Aid and then she starts
pouring in all this sugar. I was like, that's
weird. And I looked it up and apparently, Kool
-Aid is not sweetened. You didn't know that?
I just thought, no. I thought it was like a flavoring
in just a whole bunch of dyed sugar. I didn't
know there was no sugar in it. Consider how much
powder is actually in a Kool -Aid packet. It's
basically like two crystallites. If you put that
in a gallon of water, you're not gonna get any
flavor. Yeah, I don't know. I can't say the last
time I made Kool -Aid. I mean, me neither, but
no, it requires a lot of sugar that does not
dissolve properly. Well, now we know. So we are
back at the sleepover. The friends have arrived.
The friends have arrived. They walked in the
door, said, we're here for the orgy, which made
me think of the hangover and wonder if that's
where the hangover got this line. I don't remember
that. Oh, it's when they're in the elevator about
to go down to the casino and Todd Phillips, the
director of the hangover and Joker and the awful,
awful Joker 2, Says, y 'all here for the orgy?
Yeah, maybe. They hear glass break. They go to
the kitchen and find that a coffee pot that was
put on a stove is shattered. Trish says, oh,
I must have left the burner on. Immediately goes
to pick up the pot, grabs it from the bottom,
touches the stove top, and then puts it in the
sink and says, oh, I'll just have to tell mom
I'll buy a new one. And that's the level of logic
that we're dealing with here. That is pretty
indicative of the rest of this movie. It bounces
between Valerie's house and Trisha's house a
lot. It does, yeah. Like a lot a lot. And there's
not really anything going on at Valerie's house.
Not until significantly later where she gets
pulled into the A plot. Yeah. She's just hanging
out with her sister who's kind of a twerp. But
she does have a sick burn whenever her sister
is being nasty. She said, too bad mom and dad
didn't get divorced before you were born. All
right. So we have in the slumber party, all of
the girls are undressing in the living room.
As you do. Naturally. I've never been to a girls
slumber party. Do you do this? Is this a thing?
That's not a thing that happens to my knowledge,
but who's to say? I went to a school full of
nerds. Maybe we were just a little too buttoned
up. Or maybe it was just a different time. The
bra hadn't been invented yet. Maybe. No, there's
bras. There are bras. Because later on we find
some drying in the shower. On a hanger. So bras
do exist. This is, um, booby scene number three.
Yeah. We cut back to Valerie and Courtney. Valerie
is downstairs yelling at her sister upstairs
who was looking at a Playgirl magazine. With
a picture of Sylvester Stallone on it. I... I
think I was like a little bit... Zoned out in
this part because she drops the magazine at one
point and I didn't hear the dialogue that comes
with it But she drops the magazine and is like
looking at something else behind it And my first
thought was like, you know, the trope and movies
where they're looking at something Inappropriate
and then they hide it like in front of a comic
book So from the outside it I thought that's
what was happening And she just had like a playgirl
on the outside and just like a normal magazine
on the inside No went back because I was like
that doesn't That doesn't make sense. And I saw
you better not, or I heard you better not rip
out the centerfold. Mm -hmm. And she already
had. And she was doing the whole turning it sideways.
And I've never seen a Playgirl magazine. I'm
not the demographic for that. The picture that
they show is not an overly buff man, just a not
fat man bent over like reaching for something.
He kind of looks like the Coppertone baby and
his ass is out. And I was curious, is that, does
that do something for ladies? I don't. Is that
something, is that something that a girl, a female
that you know, would seek out for their enjoyment?
Just man ass. I don't know. I wouldn't think
so. But I also remember whenever the like first
Avengers came out and Everyone was talking about
Chris Evans's butt. That was America's ass. And
so I think that for some people that's what does
it for him. I could see that being a reasonable
thing that would not necessarily centerfold material,
but I could see it. Okay. Yeah, I wasn't sure.
I wasn't sure. Maybe I'll ask some more to emails
I know. Just get a real handle of this. this
subsection of society. Your mom likes man ass?
You think she seeks out man ass? If you find
out the answer to that, please do not share with
the class. I do not need to know. Oh. We cut
back to a scene with the slumber party and in
the background of the scene you see a artfully
arranged bowl of Twinkies. Yes. A snack food
that is to my knowledge, because I've never eaten
a Twinkie, individually wrapped. So they unwrapped
a dozen Twinkies and arranged them in a circle.
Trish did, because she's a great host. She's
laying out a spread for her yes. Because she
wants to relive the good old days. It was the
whole reason for this slumber party idea in the
first place. And the reason that there is no
boys allowed. Yes. That was stated from the beginning.
And Diane was not about it. Diane's boyfriend's
trying real hard to be a part of it. He was.
We were getting a little chilly at the slumber
party. And so Diane is sent out for firewood.
This is another one of those moments where you
get the, oh my god, is the murderer here? Nope.
Just Mr. Content with, for some reason, a meat
cleaver that he is using. to take out snails.
It's the best thing to get him with. He says
it. He says it clear as day. He's on the 53rd
snail. That night. That night. To protect his
garden and for some reason the firewood in the
neighbor's yard. I have so many questions about
this scene specifically. A. How did you know
that a meat cleaver was the thing that you need
to to use on snails? You didn't have any other
weapons between pesticide and meat cleaver? Trial
and error. If you're already up to 53 in one
night, you have experience with snail killing.
You have tried the other options, and you've
honed in your skill and what you work best with,
and that happens to be a meat cleaver. Sure.
You are not going to warn the neighbor girl who
is getting firewood that you are behind her with
a meat cleaver. I mean, he's just hanging out.
You're just gonna... You're just gonna swing
wildly directly in front of her with this meat
cleaver to kill the snail. Is he just supposed
to announce at every second? Hey, I'm here with
a meat cleaver. That's ridiculous. Every second?
No. When you're in the neighbor's yard? Packing
at their wood pile with a meat cleaver? Yes.
So as soon as you cross the fence line, you're
like, hey, I'm Mr. Content. I got a meat cleaver.
It's for snails though, I swear. You're supposed
to do that every time? Yes. That's ridiculous.
I don't feel like that's a giant ass. You are
so silly. I've never owned a property. I've never
had a yard with next door neighbors. So I don't
know that for a fact, but I feel like I would
personally think to announce myself if I were
wielding weaponry in my neighbor's front yard.
If Bob came over, he had just finished, I don't
know, butchering a cow in his garage. And he
comes over, he just wants to see what's up. Does
he have to announce that he has a meat cleaver
on him? You should at least announce your presence
if you're walking up behind me and there's no
street lights. But what if he wants to be playful
and like, hey, guess who? It's Bob with a meat
cleaver. I would expect an announcement, yes.
I don't feel like I am asking a lot of this neighbor.
OK. We lose Mr. Content. We do. He is drilled
through the face. Or no. The heart. It goes through
his chest, yeah. He is drilled through the heart.
No more Mr. Content and his 54th snail kill of
the day has been avenged. But Diana makes it
back in the house and she's just fine. She comes
back in with the firewood, lays it down on one
of the sleeping bags, just joins the conversation
instead of doing anything with said firewood
and being a real dick to whoever owned that sleeping
bag. And they just discuss what pizza they should
order. And horoscopes, yeah. And this movie did
earn some points with me because one of them,
I don't know who, suggested mushrooms and olives.
Which is what I get on my pizza. How did they
know? Bananas. Are you sure that you're not in
a horror movie right now? No. I think I'm safe.
Fingers crossed. Knock on wood. God, I hate that
song. So dumb. I don't know what song you're
talking about. The Taylor Swift song? Knock on
wood? Oh, I listened to as little of that album
as I could. Ooh, I'm telling. I'm telling on
you. By all means, I have a lot of thoughts on
Life of a Showgirl. All right, well, December,
somewhere around December 13th is when you can
let it all hang out. I'll just be here to referee.
Make sure no one says anything they can't take
back. So now we have another fake out jumpscare
with Diane's boyfriend, who has a name that I
don't remember. Yeah, I don't know. It's called
Bill. Sure. Seems like a bill. We have Bill,
who randomly arrives, tries to infiltrate the
party. Diane is trying to sneak out, and so she
tells the girls that she needs to go get more
beer. But they're making strawberry daiquiris.
And Trish backs up her friend and says, no, I
think she wants beer. Right, Diane? She leaves
the party. Yeah. She leaves the party, goes to
be with Bill in his car. He tries to go further
than she wants, which is deeply indicative of
every one of these movies. And I think the timeline
of events might have gotten a little mixed up.
She goes out to meet him. In the time that she
is inside telling them she's going to go on a
beer run, she comes back out and Bill is, hey,
let's go. Yeah, after. She had just told she
told him hey just pull into the garage pull into
someone else's garage and just park there and
we'll hang out there and So at this point they're
making out in the car garage doors closed Not
a bit of steam on the window, which is not realistic
And while they're making out It's very, very
strange. He reaches over and just whips one of
them out and then just starts like flicking it.
And it's like super zoomed in on it. It's very
jarring. I mean, I'm not complaining, but it
is very jarring. And then she goes inside and
says, hey, we're going to blah, blah, blah. And
then, yeah, he has been his head. has been unburdened
by his body with a drill, which I should reiterate
that even with an auger bit, you can't do it
with a drill. Okay? Can't do it. Not a thing.
We are... Yeah. Diane's boyfriend is now gone,
being the fourth death so far. Diane comes out,
reasonably freaks out because she sees Bill's
body. Bye, Diane. Toodaloo, I don't remember
what part this was in It was right after Right
after content got axed The Barbie comes back
and it is cleaved to the windowsill Another jump
scare. So we found out who took the Barbie we
flashed a Valerie's house and The younger the
Valerie the older sister says to Courtney you've
been beating off boys since the fifth grade,
which I thought was a very funny way to phrase
what she was trying to say. What she was trying
to say is that Courtney has had suitors since
the fifth grade, and she decides to... that she
is going to be just completely irate by this
comment, and she storms off. And then... There's
another noise outside. Valerie goes back outside
because apparently the dog's been getting in
the trash. She goes to check it again. And Courtney,
to get her back for saying that she's a looker
and that boys like her, decided to sneak up on
her with a knife. Sneak up on her from behind
with a knife. And then Valerie's like, what are
you doing? She's like, oh, don't worry. It's
not even that sharp. So apparently Courtney has
taken this divorce pretty hard and she needs
to see somebody because good gravy. What a fun
time these sisters are having. And then before
we get to the third act, the only thing of note
that happens at Valerie's house after this is
Valerie goes upstairs to where Courtney is hanging
out in her bed and apologizes for what she said.
and then finds a banana peel in the bed and then
implies that Courtney used the banana on herself
in conjunction with the Playgirl magazine. And
then ate the banana. And then ate the banana.
This is said as she is holding the banana peel
in question. Oh man, so funny. dismisses it and
throws the banana peel back on her bed. At least
throw it on like the floor. What are we doing?
I don't think, I mean, maybe. Maybe that was
like the edge of the 10 -minute window. And that's
the sex that needed to be implied before you
start the next 10 -minute set. Maybe that was
the producer's input. I don't know. I would be
interested to see the original script and what
it looked like without any interference. Yeah.
After this, we go back to Trisha's house and
the pizza arrives. They open the door to collect
the pizza and the pizza boy has been Jeepers
Creepers. His eyeballs are no more. I will say
this was the most fun death of the movie. It's
just, it's silliness. We got tooth ferried. They
open the door and, Timber. And he falls asleep.
This is fair. We got tooth buried. There is a
scene a little bit later in this movie where
they are, they're holed up in their barricaded
living room and the girls are eating this pizza.
And the only thing I could think about in that
scene, well, I guess there's two things. A, there's
a dead body right under that pizza. You shouldn't
eat it, maybe. And also, that pizza boy fell
on top of that pizza. Did they lift the guy up,
take the pizza, put it back on top of his body,
and then eat from it? They did lift his arm a
little bit. His arm was on it. They lifted that
up and then put the box on top of him and then
ate from it. Why? That whole portion was improvised
by Jackie and they decided to keep it in. Huh.
And apparently, it was an actual pizza that had
sat there for quite some time and by the time
she was eating it, it was rock hard and cold
and smelled funky, but she still ate it. I would
be surprised if it didn't give her food poisoning.
Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. So, the
pizza boy has gone. This is now death number
six and we get the return of our boys, Jeff and
Neil. who are now part of the slumber party because
they were caught peeping outside. They were caught
in the garage. That was another fake out. They
thought as a cool funny joke that they would
pull a fuse from the fuse box and kill all the
power to the house. And then whenever they get
caught in the garage, they're like, we're just
goofing. And they're like, oh, OK, well, come
on in. This is where we find the pizza boy. They
decide now that there has been a murder in Savannah.
I can't do the accent. My stars. I don't have
a good Southern drawl. You just got to start
with the, I'll say, I'll say, I'll say. That's
how you get the Southern drawl. It's like whenever
you need to do a Boston accent, Pock the Con,
Hobbit God. Yeah. That's how you get there. Noted.
The challenge is just staying there. Now, the
boys are here. Pizza Boy is dead. And we are
very close to flipping out. Boys decide, there's
a murderer on the loose. What should we do? Let's
split up, guys. After they look like they're
about to kiss, they're like, what are we gonna
do? What are we gonna do? And then one of them
is like, I think we should probably split up.
And then the other one looks heartbroken that
the first one wants to be without him for any
amount of time. Tragic. That's pretty adorable.
If they weren't peeping on a slumber party. No,
they were peeping at their love for one another.
You know how the 80s were. You couldn't be outright
with it. Sure. I watched Sleepaway Camp. It was
one of the most homoerotic movies I've ever seen.
It was. Boy, it was something. All right. So
we lose our first of the let's split up guys
in the garage. I don't know which one is Jeff
and which one is Neil because at this point we
have not seen them in separate scenes. They are
wielding kitchen knives. Wonder why. Because
they're weapons. Yeah? Yeah, one decides to go
out the front door one decides to go out the
back door that leads to the garage We lose one
of them in the garage. The other one is headed
to mr. Conten's house No, the one going to the
garage is going to Conten's house because one
is going to Conten's house one's going to Valerie's
house. Yes We lose the one that's going to Conten's
house in the garage. Yes, his death is largely
Unimportant. Yeah, that's everyone but the other
guy that says let's split up Yeah, I bet he's
regretting that. It's fine. He doesn't live long
enough to care because we see him banging on
the door outside of Valerie's house. She is,
characteristically, of a horror movie watching
a horror movie. Way too loud. That is so loud
that she does not hear, to be fair, she's probably
trying to drown out the noise of whatever Courtney
is up to upstairs. Was my phone ringing? What?
What was that? So, he's banging on the door at
Valerie's house. Valerie is just completely unfazed.
The movie is way too loud. Eventually, you hear
him yell, Valerie help, outside of her door.
And then she thinks about, thinks about going
and checking in on it. She thinks about it. Doesn't
yet. Not until the killer, Russ Thorne, and the
guy who I'm pretty sure is Neil, are duking it
out in the front yard, Russ with his drill, and
Neil with his kitchen knife. Valerie comes to
see what the commotion is outside, does the very
cliché. They're just out of view. They're just
out of view. She sees the shadows of them fighting.
She does. Doesn't think to investigate any further.
Those dang human -shaped trees blowing in the
wind. Not for nothing. Does a drill not make
noise? Oh It does it does and this is a very
loud drill chainsaw -ish. Hmm No, but you can
you would be able to tell What's happening, but
he doesn't this is the only time he doesn't kill
someone with the drill He takes the knife and
just over and over again and then drags him back
to the house to do What I think is one of the
funnier moments In the movie To put them in the
trunk of Diane's boyfriend's car and then does
a little head count and realizes that he's missing
one I thought they were in the van No, they were
in the trunk of the car How do you fit five people
in the trunk? You most definitely couldn't have
but suspension of disbelief movie magic Okay,
he counts all of the people that are in the trunk
of this car. And we are one man short. That man
is Jeff, I think. And Jeff. Jeff has made it
out. And he is crawling around the pool back
to the back door. Trying to get back in the house.
And who's on the other side of that door? It
is Trish and the one we haven't really talked
about. Jackie. Is it Jackie or is it the other
one? It's either Jackie or it's Kim. I think
it's Jackie. Okay, well And they're like no,
we can't let him in. No, no, no, but that's that's
probably not even him. Like they don't even want
to check on it They're not gonna risk it which
okay fine but then he gets removed from the equation
and then much like in the beginning of the movie
the pool of blood just seeps through the door
and If I'm being honest the only thing I was
thinking about Was that they needed to get that
air gap fixed because that is terrible for your
heating and AC That's why they were so cold and
sent Diane out for firewood It's ridiculous.
This is this is a this is a very nice house in
a very nice neighborhood and There's absolutely
no reason the door should have that big of a
gap under it to where a pool of blood can just
trickle in Ridiculous, this is where we meet
Jackie's in yes She gets slashed with a drill
in the throat. And I don't want to keep harping
on this, but if you were to take a drill to someone's
throat, the skin is just going to gum everything
up and then it's going to get locked up and then
you're going to snap your wrist. It was the same
conversation we had with one of the poo blood
and honey and the wood chipper. Ah, it's just
so frustrating. We're learning more and more
about how to kill people in this podcast. Tells
was written by a woman. I know nothing about
tools. I'll fence that ice at this point. Jesus
Christ. All right, so we've made it to the barricaded
bedroom. There are two people left to sleep over,
and that would be Kim and Trish. They are having
a little moment, talking for a bit. And they
have barricaded the door to the bedroom with...
a dresser in a nightstand. As they are staring
at this dresser in nightstand. Surprise! Russ
has made it up to the second floor. And just
walks right in the open window? Yeah. Oh, cheese
and crackers, man. Utter nonsense. He catches
Kim as they are trying to move the dresser in
the nightstand away from the door and escape.
Trish is... immediately just no Kim's gone as
she is fighting for her life. Did you mention
that so Valerie was here and she brought Courtney
for whatever reason they go to the back door
where Jeff died there's a blood smear on the
door and there's a pool of blood at the base
of the door but Courtney says nothing much is
happening here at all we should just go and then
Valerie goes in the house Because the front door
still unlocked assuming from the pizza guy, but
you think they were locked it afterwards or I
guess after whichever one Neal left through the
front door. Maybe they just left it unlocked
seems stupid, but I don't think brains is really
what these girls are going for Valerie is at
the bedroom door where Trish and Kim are on the
other side and She says I'm here to help. I'm
here. I'm here And Trish's response is not to
let Valerie in because now she thinks that they
are working together. That all the the standoffishness
and all the mean girling has pushed her so far
to find a serial killer that has escaped from
prison and set them on Trish and all of her friends.
I mean up to this point we don't know who is
killing people. Now I guess yeah, no one living
no one that's seen Russ's yeah has lived to talk
about it Hmm, the only one who would would be
Trish and then she sees him kill him. Okay. Well,
maybe Maybe I was a little too quick to judge
but still that's a pretty heavy accusation to
lobby against somebody so Valerie and Courtney
are wandering through Trish's house Courtney
is dead set on stealing beer has opened the refrigerator
two times, has not looked in the refrigerator.
Because if she were to look in the refrigerator,
she would see Kim, who is there in place of all
of the shelves that were in the fridge. That
feels like a pretty decent sized undertaking
for this murderer. How long would that have taken
to replace all of the shelves in a fridge with
Kim? And to move her downstairs from the upstairs
bedroom that she died in. There is a almost like
surprised dead body moment with Kim two times.
And then Courtney is like, nah, I am going to
go back for that beer. Opens the door fully.
Kim falls out. Kim flops out with a knife in
her chest. So I was wrong. There are two deaths
that he does that are not with the drill. It's
Jeff and Kim. Neil and Kim. The one outside of
Valerie's house. Yes, that one. So, Courtney
goes to hide under the couch and the killer is
just wandering around the bottom floor. Getting
his steps in for the day. He decides to hide
himself inside of one of the sleeping bags. The
one that was just used for firewood that is mysteriously
gone now. With like an expression on his face,
like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this.
It's gonna be so funny. Playing hide and seek
now. As he is under this blanket, there's a knock
on the door. That knock is from Coach Janna.
Jehovah's bow. It was not people to talk about
their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The girls
had been on the phone with Coach Janna. Earlier
in the evening, and it had abruptly ended, Coach
Jana decided to show up at Trish's house to express
her concern. See what was up. With no police
or anything. Bad call. Just herself. Correct.
So Jana comes in, walks into the living room,
sees there is a person under the sleeping bag,
decides to go investigate a little bit. Surprise,
Russ Lauren. Peek -a -boo. There is a face -off
between Coach Janna and Russ where she is fighting
him with a fire poker. This fire poker is very
funny to me because it is very clearly made of
rubber. Yes, that's flopping around all over
the place. She like swats at him with it and
it bends. She stabs him with it, and it bends.
What is this man made of? Out of all the egregious
things in this movie, that is one of the lesser
ones. I'll give it a pass. Sure. I will accept
that. Because especially these movies in the
80s, safety was not of the utmost importance.
Fair. So the fact that they would use something
Rubber to whack at someone else is is a step
in the right direction All I'm saying is they
could have used plastic and given him a little
extra padding So it wouldn't have actually gotten
to them with a little bit more real. I guess
so in this tussle Coach Janna loses Yep gets
slashed in the tum -tum As she is dying we get
the only bit of dialogue I believe from Russ
in the entire movie which maybe hints at a backstory.
He says, I love you. Takes a lot of the love
for a person to do this. You want it. I know
you want it. I do not like that dialogue. It
gives maybe a bit of like a Norman Bates kind
of situation. Whenever he actually gets what's
coming to him, the actor improvised a line, yelling
mommy and the director took it out because she
didn't want any sympathy being given to the killer.
So I feel like that was probably the angle he
was trying to take. Yeah. And they probably should
have cut this part out too. But if they hadn't
cut this part out, then he would have no lines
whatsoever. So. Which I think would have been
fine. I don't know. I think it probably would
have been fine too. Also, as far as sympathy
goes, Janna is his 11th kill. So I don't think
there's a great deal of dialogue that would make
me feel sympathetic for him. No, probably not.
Especially not in the 11th hour. No. We make
it outside. That we do. He is confronted by Valerie
with a machete that was on the wall of the garage.
After she had tried to take a circular saw up
the stairs and chase down Russ, not realizing
that it was a corded circular saw and gets caught
up in the cord and gets thrown halfway down the
stairs. Garage stairs? Yeah, she's in a basement,
so she's not even in the garage. She's in a basement
now and gets halfway thrown halfway down the
stairs because the dummy didn't realize that
the cord was plugged into the wall. A problem
that somehow has not affected Russ through this
entire movie and his 11 killings. Yep. A couple
of them were not drill powered. I want to see
where he's storing his batteries. She faces off
with Russ. on the edge of the pool. The machete
slices off this drill that has cut through 11
people. That was symbolism for taking away his
manhood. Sure. No, that's from the screenwriter
was the intended purpose for that. Like so heavy
-handed. You are the drill guy. What are the
odds that you would be able to take a machete
to a drill bit and just? Knock it knock it now.
He's he's been using it pretty extensively So
it's gonna be weakened So there is a chance that
With with the right hit to the right spot already
weakened spot of the drill bit that you could
break it off I don't have a problem with that
part Okay, Valerie also acts at his hand and
Takes one of his hands with her Yeah Surprisingly
easy to remove someone's hand with the machete.
It's surprisingly easy to do a lot of these things
with the weapons that were provided But then
he falls into the pool and then thank God Valerie
saved the day because now the killer is dead
Or is he? Unsurprisingly. This does not actually
kill the bad guy. And he gets himself out of
the water. One handed. With shocking ease with
one hand. And comes back after Valerie. This
is where we see Courtney and Trish intervene.
Trish with a kitchen knife, if I remember correctly.
Yes. And then Courtney just jumps on his back.
Yep, they are grappling for a little bit and
Valerie gets the machete on her stomach pointed
up just as Russ decides to pounce on her straight
through them. At this point we can assume I think
safely that Russ is gone. Fingers crossed. Fingers
crossed. There are four sequels, three sequels.
Roll credits All right, you ready for my my son
factory knows what you got the actress who played
Diane Refused to do a nude scene But if you remember
in the car We got some some nip action That was
Trisha's nipple She was a stand -in who had no
issues with nudity because prior to getting this
movie. She was a nude model. Interesting. Kim's
character played by Debra DeLisso became a school
teacher and would regularly have her students
come up to her and say that they saw her nude
scene in this movie. She didn't mind it. She
said what she did mind was the male teachers
coming up to her and saying that they saw the
nude scene in this movie. That's a weird place
to draw the line that is a weird place to draw
the line with the kids But not with the guys.
Yeah, huh my age. Oh, yeah Yeah, I had to reread
it to make sure I was reading it correctly When
I found out this fact Where I talked about the
10 -minute rule every 10 minutes there needs
to be sex or violence. That was per the producers
orders It was written as a satire, but played
straight. That's why I feel so disjointed. Yeah
the drill the drill represented a Penis. This
was filmed in three weeks. The director, Amy
Holden -Jones, left editing ET to direct this
movie. It was her directorial debut. She went
on to write Beethoven, the movie about the dog,
with John Hughes. She co -wrote Indecent Proposal
and created and wrote The Resident, a medical
drama that aired on Fox for 107 episodes. Interesting.
Where do you think this movie landed on the tomato
meter? Critics and audience. I did see this one.
Oh man. So I know that it had a 41? Or somewhere
thereabouts? 48 for critics. 45 audience. Do
you agree with that? Yes. Would you give it a
fresh or a rotten score? I would give it a rotten
tomato. I would too. I can appreciate what they
were going for, and if they had leaned fully
into one side or the other, I think that it would
have been a significantly better movie. Because
they are trying to toe the line and kind of play
both sides poorly, then I can't give it a good
rating. That is fair. Do you think they use their
$220 ,000 budget appropriately? Yeah. I mean,
I don't know really how much of a budget this
would require. I don't feel like it would be
very much considering it's only filmed in Two
locations? Everyone in the movie, outside of
the main girls, were all either friends, family,
or neighbors of the crew of the movie. Okay.
Towards the end of the filming, the producer
liked what he had seen so far that he gave them
more money so that they could rewrite the ending
to do a bigger ending. And I don't know if that
was part of the $220 ,000 or if it was the $220
,000 plus what they added to the end, but I think
it's pretty fair. Whenever Gina Schmitke -Hunter,
who played Diane, refused to do her nude scene,
the director offered bonus payment to anyone
who was willing to do it for her. And so that's
when... Michelle Michaels, who played Trish,
stepped in. Interesting. All right, well, is
there anything that you feel you can take from
this movie and apply it to your life to live
a better, happier, more productive life? Lock
the doors. Lock your windows. Don't leave it
all just... Willy -nilly. You never know. So
like a hide your wife, hide your kids type of
situation? Yes. Because they're drilling everybody
out here? They're drilling everybody out here.
Oh, my little nug of something you can take away
from this movie is learn how power tools work.
Know their limitations. Because once you know
how they work, you can do all sorts of things.
You can build yourself a house if you wanted
to. I'm not saying you should. I'm saying you
could. I think it requires more than knowing
how power tools work. Build a house. Build a
hut perhaps. Power tools and a tape measure.
Treehouse. All you need. You don't need electrical
knowledge or plumbing knowledge. I mean you shock
yourself enough times you get some electrical
knowledge. Does it come? pre -installed with
a certain amount of voltage or? You pick up pretty
quick. You could figure it out with power tools
like a multimeter and as far as plumbing goes
just know that shit rolls downhill so all your
pipes need to be pointed a little bit downwards
and you're good to go there. As long as everything
collects to the same place where it gets away
from you then you're good to go. It's all you
need. Sure. And with that, we'll see you. Peace
out, Cool Scouts.