About six feet of gums on top and bottom that
do not move the entire time this creature is
speaking What's up, how are you doing today well
I probably would be a lot better had I not watched
this movie. That is a fair statement. For our
listeners out there, we have switched the format
just a little bit today. We are testing out movie
critiques, movie reviews, just a movie discussion
on a low budget. Unbelievably low budget. It
feels like a film school project that somebody
maybe got a B minus on. And that's... That's
giving him a little grace. Yeah, maybe. It's
not exactly Citizen Kane. The movie that we are
discussing today is Tooth Fairy, A Drill to Kill.
Yeah, I unknowingly watched this movie on your
suggestion, with it being the fifth in the series
of Tooth Fairy movies. I did not realize. So
the reason that I picked this movie was because
It has shown up in my peacock. Like you might
also like movies a hundred times because I've
been in a stint of really bad, like low budget
horror movies, starting with Winnie the Pooh,
Blood and Honey, and did not realize that this
one was actually originally titled Tooth Fairy
Five, which feels like the first two movies were
the Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Larry the Cable
Guy ones. I feel like some people might get confused
in the same way that the Jack Frost movies might
be confused. I definitely did not watch the other
Jack Frost on accident, but I wish that I had.
I wish that I had not actively sought out that
god -awful movie. Did you ever watch that one?
Eaton? No. No. I haven't seen the killer Jack
Frost one. I've only seen the heartwarming movie
about the snowman trying to make his way back
to his family. To be fair, even the good one
is real creepy. Very. Heartwarming story, sure,
but CGI is just rough. But they are able to get
his mannerisms to shine through in snowman form
very well in that movie. This is true. Maybe
I am not on the right side of this argument.
Maybe plenty of people will disagree perhaps
so tooth fairy a drill to kill unfortunately
the fifth in the franchise a brief little spoiler
filled synopsis of this movie in 60 seconds or
less a year after a not really explained mass
murder of a classroom of children on a field
trip the love child of the girl from the ring
and rocky dennis returns to kill the surviving
teacher and her new co -workers the movie for
some reason, is subtitled a drill to kill but
contains both zero drills and zero real stakes
as all the deaths seem to happen in slow motion.
After the deaths of a security guard, the obligatory
about -to -have -sex couple, and someone who
I'm pretty sure was the principal but is not
given a shred of backstory, the sister of the
surviving teacher and her friend escape the school
only to be murdered one scene later. It is revealed
10 minutes to the end of this painfully slow
movie that the killer used to be punished for
not brushing her teeth because her mother claimed
the devil hid in cavities or some such nonsense.
Now, she's out here doing the greater good of
ridding people of the devil by killing them and
ripping out their teeth. Okay, first off, I'm
coming in hot. So, the entire time you're waiting
to see, and again, This was my first foray into
the Tooth Fairy franchise. So I have no backstory.
I don't know if they explain this at some other
point in the first four. But you're waiting for
some sort of justification for why this supernatural
silly person is killing these people and taking
their teeth. And then you find out that It's
because she says the devil hides in rotten teeth.
Okay, sure. That makes sense. But what doesn't
make sense is every single kill, she is just
non -discerningly bashing people's teeth out
and then just collecting them. They also all
have really nice teeth. They all have really
nice teeth, yeah. Which is funny because it's
not until Almost three minutes into the film
that you realize that all these people are either
British or Scottish or not Scottish Irish when
they start talking and I don't know if you're
trying to collect healthy teeth I don't think
the UK is where I'm going. Well, she's not trying
to collect healthy teeth, right? Isn't that why
she's going after the Brits? But she is she does
she collects healthy teeth the entire movie there's
not a shred of gingivitis on any of the teeth
that she ends up with. How could you tell? As
soon as she strikes, their mouths are full of
awful CGI fake blood and loose teeth. Of just
loose teeth that they spit out. There's one scene
towards the end where this woman gets hit with
a hammer in the forehead and then lays on the
ground and then Just a little pool of drool blood
comes out and then along with it like four perfectly
fine teeth Just all plopped down on the floor.
It's a magic hammer. She's like fix -it Felix,
but wrong It's a magic. It's a magic lots of
stuff Physics does not play a heavy role in this
movie. It does not the stage fighting is a beast
unto itself I've not I'm absolutely unqualified
to talk about almost all of this aside from the
fact that I do love a good low budget movie,
but I don't think it is that hard to fake stab
someone in a movie. Like it's just a matter of
perspective and they don't, it doesn't look like
any of the weapons get anywhere near the person
that they're theoretically harming. Except for
the first girl, the one who survived the original
attack. who gets chiseled in the mouth and that
chisel actually does make contact. So the movie
starts out with like the tropius trope of all
horror movies. I understand why it can be unsettling
if you hadn't seen it a trillion times before.
It's an establishing shot of just a building.
You can't tell what the building is but then
there's like these paint can planter things.
on strings that are in this little, like, makeshift
garden, and then they're just swinging in the
wind. And that's your, that's, that is what is
going to set the tone for this whole movie. And
then after that, it switches to a face -on shot
of a building with a playground in the foreground.
It's called, what is it? Claire's House School,
which I'm, it's, I'm assuming it's like a Is
it a daycare? Is it just our elementary school?
I think it's supposed to be an elementary school.
Because the layout of the building makes no sense
whatsoever. But the first, the thing that catches
your eye is the fact that the playground off
to the side is completely unlevel and crooked.
Did you notice that? I did not. Yeah, it is very
crooked and very distracting. I might have to
go re -watch that first scene again. I was not
as tuned in to set design until things started
happening, or until we got to the teacher's lounge
that is decorated in the most ridiculous fashion.
And like blood red walls. Blood red walls, and
for some reason it's just one giant conference
room table covered in a zebra print tablecloth.
There's a whiteboard on one side and that's it.
Oh, I've got plenty to say about the set design.
And I hope they're listening because these movies
can be something and you just have to be a little
receptive to criticism. This is true, yeah. This
one was built for the Razzies for sure. Yeah.
Just an overall opinion or an overall statement
about the movie is that they keep referencing
that it is a school night, implying that there's
going to be school the next day. At no point
during this entire, well, one flashback, one
flashback, and it makes no sense. It takes place
with kids in a basement that look completely
fine and they're just like, and then the tooth
fairy is up at the top of the staircase. That's
literally the only children you see in this entire
movie. And every bit of it happens during the
day, except for one scene like maybe 10 minutes
into the start of the movie. And that's when
Sammy is killed? Yeah. One thing I will give
it is that it did do the protagonist switcheroo
on us. Is that in the pros column? Are you for
the protagonist? I wasn't expecting it. I mean
it worked because you follow the story of this
first lady and then 20 minutes in when you finally
get the title card of the movie after she dies
and then you realize that she wasn't the protagonist,
there's actually this lady that's going to be
taking over the rest of the movie. Being a sad
sack and a terrible actress but neither here
nor there. As far as the everything takes place
during the day, one of the bits of dialogue that
irritated me the most. It was a very little part
of the dialogue I could actually understand of
the villain because I needed subtitles for every
every bit of that. She sounds like RFK. Okay.
Did she not? She had the same like vocal affectation
just with the British accent. I'm not saying
it's a negative. I was trying to place it and
the closest thing I could come up with is One
of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz with emphysema
is what the tooth fairy sounded like. Munchkin
with emphysema. Alright, let's go with that.
One of the only parts of dialogue that I could
actually understand without the subtitles was
that the tooth fairy in question goes, it's almost
time for the children to come back. They're about
to be skipping their merry way over here or something
like that. Has a whole night transpired? Are
we at the next day already? That's what it would
imply, but never once did that happen. The sun
does not go down. What time is this school? Did
it get out at six in the morning? For a movie
that takes almost entirely place inside of a
building, you have a real good grasp on what
time of day it is outside, and it is never nighttime.
Yeah. So after you get your establishing shots,
you find out that they're in a school. You are
greeted by the first protagonist who is Sammy.
And like we said, she's a maybe elementary teacher.
The walls are a little much. It seems like they
just Googled pictures of what, like a first grade?
room would look like and they just picked everything
and they got a big mat on the floor which is
very very appropriate for first grade but did
you notice that there was not a single desk in
that room except for the one that sammy was sitting
at grading papers i did yeah one of the things
that like grew me and this is entirely based
on my own assumptions i think do they teach kids
in the uk spanish that's what i was wondering
too Almost all of the decorations had the English
and the Spanish version of the words, like the
numbers and letters and stuff. Do they teach
Spanish? I mean, they speak Spanish in Spain,
right? Well, yeah. But yeah, I don't know if
it would be prevalent enough for... them to need
to advertise it onto the walls. You would think
that it would be like French, German. That's
yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking. Something
more like that than just Spanish. If I'm wrong,
by all means, shoot us a message. Let us know.
Leave us a comment. I'm so curious. Let us know
how prevalent Spanish class is in the UK. So
you've got Sammy and She's sitting there grading
papers. Did you get a chance to look at the paper
that she was grading? It was just like a worksheet
with a bunch of pictures, right? It was just
like missing letters. It was like, yeah, it was
like a fill in the blank and you put in the picture
or you put in the right in the word. The thing
is that all the pictures. All the words that
you were supposed to fill in on the line were
right next to the picture. Or all the pictures
that you were supposed to fill in the blank with
were next to the sentence. For instance, the
first sentence reads, the fish is sweet. And
then right after that, it's a picture of an apple.
I live in a apple and that's right next to a
picture of a house. A plane flies in the air.
That one works. And a fish can swim. That one
works. And then this one just... didn't even
make sense because it says, I do homework at
blank and then you're supposed to fill in the
word house. I do homework at house? No, you're
supposed to fill in the word desk. You're supposed
to fill in the word desk and there's a desk next
to it and it says, I do homework at desk. Look
at Banner, Michael. I don't think that Sammy
is really working with some scholarship level
children. She's grieving, leave her alone. Well,
so she grades the paper. And then, like, laugh
sighs. It was like a... And then just stops what
she's doing and picks up this picture off her
desk of her and some friends by a pool table,
and then sets it back down, and then feels an
ache in the back of her mouth. And you're like,
oh boy, it's going down. It's going down. Tooth
fairies are coming. It would be so cool if the
plot twist was that she was the Tooth Fairy.
Maybe that's in Tooth Fairy 6. I thought there
was an inside woman at one point, but I was...
completely wrong. This movie is not sophisticated
enough to pull that off. They do the picture
thing a good amount, which I think is one of
the like, it's a very frustrating trope because
it feels like you're building that backstory
with no effort. Whenever Sammy is tied up and
is about to get extracted. from this world. The
Tooth Fairy picks up a picture frame, and it
is three of the most stock photo -y British children
I've seen in my entire life. And she goes, no,
don't do that. Those are my children. What? Actual
ones? What? School ones? Because it's weird if
you just have a framed picture of three of your
students in your home. I'm not a teacher. I don't
know where the line is drawn, but I feel like
it's sooner than that. If you're going to have
pictures of your students, especially in your
house. It's going to be all of them. It's going
to be pictures that you are in, yeah, and probably
not individual students. It's weird. As a parent,
I feel like I would have been uncomfortable in
that situation knowing that my kid's teacher
had a framed picture of him in their house. It's
weird. Emily's a teacher. We don't display other
children in our house, but there are photos here
of her with some students, but they're not up
on the wall. That's strange and that is bizarre.
And if I found out that one of the teachers had
like a headshot of one of the kids just on their
mantle, I'd be asking some questions. It feels
like a picture that came with the frame. And
I was really hoping that there would just be
one of those like the prop master didn't was
like, this is fine. And there was just like a
little five by seven and a little barcode at
the bottom. Nope. These are just this woman's
students. Three of this women, this woman's students.
She also has a picture of three girls on her
desk and then a picture of two, no, two girls
and a boy in one and then two girls and another
one. No explanation for those either. Imagine
how much it would suck to be in that classroom
if you weren't one of the favored students that
got to be on her desk. Like, did these kids give
their teacher a present that was just a picture
of them? I mean, I would have to think that rule
of thumb would be that if you're going to display
student pictures of students, they would not
be current class students. Unless it was the
whole class. Maybe these were the in memoriam
kind of pictures that did sound like her entire
class was. Well, if that's the case and we know
that the three adults that are in the other photo
by the pool table are also dead, I think someone
should be doing some investigation into Sammy.
and what her extracurriculars are. I agree. So
I was reading the synopsis of it from the actual
people. And I assume that this is a thing that
is my fault because I picked a movie that is
deep into a franchise that I didn't know existed.
But it says that her students and her colleagues
got killed. And so it is possible that she just
has the world's saddest death that is just tributes
to a whole bunch of people who were murdered
a year ago. A thing that I feel like you should
maybe have brought up in therapy because that
doesn't feel any kind of help. Well, she does
talk to a therapist. Yeah, and I feel like her
therapist would have some thoughts on her little,
little shrine. That scene contained the only
jump scare that actually got me in the whole
movie. I'm surprised that one got you. Honestly,
I just wasn't paying that much attention because
I was typing out notes and then I just look up
and then boom. So after we see what her work
life and how sad it is, she goes and talks to
a fellow teacher. And they were like, they talk
about the incident, the incident. And it's at
one point, it's referred to as the geography
trip, which kept throwing me off because apparently
it was like a field trip for geography class,
maybe, or maybe people in the UK just call field
trips geography trips. I think that's what it
is. But they kept referring to it as a geography
trip. And Sammy is talking to who we find out
is Meg. And she's just, oh, I'm so worried about
this. I just, I keep seeing her face over and
over and over again. And she, Meg comforts her
and says, oh, well, maybe you just need some
rest. You get some rest and then you go home
and you come back and you're feeling a lot better.
And then. She's like, oh wait, you're not going
to be here tomorrow. You're going to be getting
a tooth pulled out. And then we're like, oh shit,
here it comes. It's coming. We're almost there.
She's like, yeah, I hope it doesn't hurt. Well,
you'll be knocked out. So you won't even know.
All right. Well, I'm going to go get home. Love
you. Love you. Which I thought was weird because
we know nothing about the relationship yet, but
it's just, it's a very, it was a weird way to
leave a coworker. I mean, after you've watched
all of your coworkers die, I feel like that's
not. out of the realm of possibility. Let them
know how you feel. I guess if all of your co
-workers died I do not want to work with you.
So I mean that was the whole plot of Blood and
Honey 2, Bloodier and Honeyer. I haven't seen
it yet one day. Maybe that'll be one of these.
But she walks she walks out into the hallway
and fuzzy in the background is this creature
thing and it's behind a half door like a yellow
door but it's like all like weird curvy shaped
and it was extremely puzzling you find out what
it is later on in the movie but it just completely
throws off the whole scene that and you finally
see the design for this villain and good gravy
I don't even know it's like you take skin and
yeah you put it loosely over someone's face you
cut out two nostrils for eye holes and then uh
just like gigantic fake mouth with huge teeth
about six feet of gums on top and bottom that
do not move the entire time this creature is
speaking. If you were going to make your villain
something with a mask that does not move, you
can dub in the audio. Not just put a microphone
inside the mask? The whole thing just feels like
Bane. But like, you can't understand. There's
so much reverb. Anything that's happening because
the, yeah, it's so muffled. Oh. But the mask
does definitely give off a leather face if he
wasn't really trying kind of vibe. Yeah, yeah.
No insight as to where the look came from. It's
not like she was in some horrible dentistry accident.
She might have been. We wouldn't know. We don't
know. At the end, it goes into the fact that
her mom used to punish her if she didn't brush
her teeth. We don't know what that looked like.
Is that going to loosen up all your skin and
give you nostril eyeballs? I don't think so.
I don't think so either, but maybe. Also, not
for nothing, but it is phenomenally messed up
that the news calls this the tooth fairy murders.
They couldn't have gone with like devil dentist.
They couldn't have gone with something that was
not so, like, child -centered. You're going to
ruin any kid with access to the internet looking
up whether or not the tooth fairy is real is
about to see that the tooth fairy is real and
homicidal. The patty cake slasher. You couldn't
have gone with something a shred more serious.
A whole student body died. Oh, man. Treat this
with just a little bit more levity, a little
more gravitas. What is this? So she walks out
of the school to her car as soon as she walks
out of the building behind a gate is the Tooth
Fairy. And I feel like it was moments like these
where they couldn't decide if they wanted to
leave some mystery and just leave her like fuzzy
in the background or if they wanted to really
focus on the Tooth Fairy's costume design and
really emphasize it and let you know what you're
in for so that you can turn around now. Like
this is a perfect example of what the rest of
this movie is going to be. So if you make it
to the end, that's on you. It's just a hodgepodge
of different horror movie villains because the
Tooth Fairy here has... The jumpsuit of the girls
from The Shining has the hair in general vibe
of Samara from The Ring. Rides a tricycle at
some point like Jigsaw. Like Jigsaw, yeah. Has
the leather face going on. Like it's just, it's
trying to be reminiscent of everything. Yeah.
And she gets into a red Pigo 207 hatchback, which
I tried to do some research. seems to be like
the key, a soul of that area of the world. So
not, not ostentatious, not a, not fancy, just
get you from point A to point B. You know, more
than the budget of this movie, I'm so curious
how long it took to film. It couldn't have been
long. Like I, I feel like the whole thing could
have been filmed in a week, maybe. I don't know
what they like. It could have been the same day.
Obviously the post production stuff looks like,
but yeah, I guess technically. Because there
are points in the movie where it looks like dusk
and then you fast forward 20 minutes later into
the movie and then it's noon again. So I don't
know. I don't know. I can't see it being like
a three week process and waking up every morning,
driving into work and knowing that's what you're
going into. I think as a job, this would be a
lot of fun. The bar is set fairly low. lady who
dies and is propped up against a wall outside
is turned around and falls so that she knows
that she's not hurting herself in the fall. She
catches herself. So she she drops to her knees
and catches herself on the wall and then falls
backwards in like slope. Oh man yeah I picked
up on that too. If she's just died like rigor
mortis is not like she's not stiff. No. So how
is she propped up? What is holding her against
this wall? To where just a touch can turn her
around and yeah. But no, she obviously puts her
arm out to brace herself for the fall. There
are no other injuries to almost anyone in this
movie aside from the fact that you broke out
your teeth. And I don't think, I don't know how
much blood it would take for you to bleed out
necessarily, but I think it's more than just
getting a couple of your teeth smashed in. Yeah.
Hockey players could probably attest to that.
I don't think that that's enough to kill the
average person. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.
But I don't think half of these people would
have legitimately died. Yeah, probably not. It's
usually just like one blow and then they're down
and then all of a sudden she's taking their teeth
out. So we go from the car to the therapist and
the therapist is just as nutty as everyone else
in this movie. They talk about the event and
then this might be on us because we haven't seen
the previous ones, but there's flashbacks to
Sammy being tied up in a chair and then she's
on a table and then she's having her teeth being
dug out and then she talks about the kids in
the basement. It's just four children. One has
like perfectly done braids. They're completely
clean. They're fine. There's a blue filter over
everything and they're just like... Help. And
then at the top of the stairs of the basement
is just a tooth fairy just standing there. And
then it cuts away. Where did they go on this
field trip that has a basement? Yeah, that's
a great question. I couldn't tell you. What was
the destination here that they could have been
trapped in a cellar basement? Like what? Maybe
they went to like a winery, a vineyard. I know
the drinking age is lower, but I don't think
it's that low. Oh, and then at the end of their
session, the therapist says, stand up. I want
you to try something. She stands up, they face
each other. Close your eyes. Repeat after me.
I will not see her face. I will not see her face.
Okay, you're, you're cured. You will no longer
see her face when you open your eyes. On the
count of, on the count of three, one, two, three,
boom, two, three's face. That's the only jump
scare. And that's the only one that gave me any
kind of feeling because I was distracted and
just happened to look up at the right time. Has
it ever worked to tell someone you're just not
going to think of this thing? You can't think
of the thing. And they've just not thought of
the thing. And then be so brazen about now it's
fixed. You're healed. But also one thing I forgot
to mention was that the therapist, whenever they
were talking about the children's screams, actually
said that Sammy needs to learn to link them to
something more positive. The screams of these
children link them to something more positive.
Devil's advocate. She is not talking about the
children that were about to get murdered. She
was talking about the children playing on the
playground and their screams that Sammy is equating
with the murder. And so she's like, you can hear
them like screaming while they're playing and
stuff and equate it with like happiness, not
they're going to die. Okay. That one. Okay. Then
maybe I was just not paying enough attention,
but still, but still. Yeah. It's a, that therapy
session is, was not well written. No, no, not
at all. They used the same set pieces in a lot
of this particular sub -genre of low -budget
horror because a lot of the pieces that are used
in Tooth Fairy are used in the Blood and Honey
franchise and in the Humpty Dumpty one. So I
think they're maybe starting from set pieces
and actors and then creating things around that
rather than having a story. And then... casting
for it and picking sets. What IP is about to
go into the public domain and how can this chainsaw
be used in it? So like the Twisted Children cinematic
universe, which is a thing that actually exists,
is supposed to be, the next ones are going to
be Peter Pan and I'm going to say Cinderella,
but that's... That's already been done. But there's
like a Peter Pan on in the works, which is the
horror movie version of that story, which I mean
what they've done Winnie the Pooh, they've done
Mickey Mouse, they've done Popeye. They did Popeye?
The Grinch. Uh -huh. Yeah, it's Popeye's Revenge.
And that was a weird, weird thing where there
was actually twin movies about Popeye. Really?
And they both went straight to streaming. Yeah.
Naturally. Actually, the mean one was not as
bad as I thought it would be. I haven't gotten
to see it yet. It was not good, obviously. But
it wasn't terrible. They do lean very aggressively
into the one Jewish character. Like it's mentioned
in literally every scene that he's in that he's
Jewish. Or he'll just make like a comment that
has nothing to do with the conversation about
matzah ball soup. Makes sense in a Christmas
movie. Well, it's because he's the only one that's
safe from the Grinch. He's Jewish. What are they
going to steal? Hanukkah? So the Grinch is only
out here murdering Christians? He's only out
here murdering... I don't even remember what
the plot of the actual, like, what the inciting
incident was in this movie. But yeah, no, it's
definitely played as though he is safe because
he is Jewish. The chosen people. Not in this
game. Do not be chosen by the Grinch. All right,
so we've made it to... We've made it almost to
the title card, right? Yes. Yeah, this is the
last scene before the title card, which has Sammy
sitting on the couch. I don't think she was watching
TV or anything. I think she was just sitting
there like staring at the wall. She was on her
laptop. She was watching the video of a person
doing their own dental extract. Oh, that's right.
That's right. Where they start bleeding profusely
because they did it wrong. Did you know that
was the tooth fairy? That's the tooth fairy actress?
Was the dentist? Yeah. Very much not a dentist.
She just takes pliers to rip out her teeth, which
would have been a better weapon for the tooth
fairy. And then, yeah, spill some tomato juice
on her mouth. Yeah, it's a real ridiculous scene.
And she says that she's a licensed dentist and
is going to use her expertise to teach you how
to do it at home. Did she? I thought she said
you could use this if you were a licensed dentist
or just an aficionado. No, she... God. Oh, I
put in my notes, dental video is most bat shit
thing so far. She demonstrates the dos and don'ts
when it comes to performing your very own home
extraction. And in my opinion, there are no dos
and the only don't is don't do this at home.
Do not attempt to extract your own teeth at home
if they're not already ready to come out. If
you're having an issue, don't just say, yeah,
I'll take whack at it. It very much gives the
impression of there's a scene in a sitcom, I
want to say it's like New Girl, where one of
the guys is like trying to do his own hair. And
he's like, I found this video. It's got like
10 million views. And it's because the person
misses when they're shaving and just cuts a giant
chunk out of their scalp. So they're just bleeding.
And he's like, oh, that's why it's so popular.
And so she gets interrupted by the tooth fairy.
knocking on the door. And the first thing I questioned
was that she's like, who is it? It's me. And
the door doesn't have a peephole on it. And this
comes up again later on that there's no people.
Is that just an American thing? Are peepholes
just an American thing? I think people are an
everywhere thing. Peephole. If I remember correctly,
peepholes are a thing in one of this director's
other movies which is the like cult of Humpty
Dumpty. So I don't think it is specifically an
American thing. And then we get another flashback
to the night of the event and the Tooth Fairy
is taking down the what we can surmise are the
three people from the pool table picture and
on one of them uses a crowbar to extract the
teeth from with. So she's pretty handy with whatever's
around to get them teeths, get them pearly whites.
I don't know that I've ever actually used a crowbar,
but I don't feel like they're narrow enough.
No. appropriately remove. No, not at all. Your
incisors. I mean, in the flashback, she was just
like tapping on the teeth with the crowbar. So
I don't imagine that would do much. In that case,
what happens if they swallow their teeth? I guess.
Do you wait a bit? They're dead. What's in their
stomach isn't gonna be digested and then come
out the other end. That's fair. I mean, they
wouldn't die is still the hill I'm dying on.
They wouldn't. None of these people, except for
one at the end, would die. Two at the end would
die. What, the friend of the house that she goes
to and then who else? Meg. She gets stabbed in
the side. It goes like straight through what
I would imagine are some kind of organ. Oh, okay.
Yeah, maybe. She could reasonably bleed out.
That is, yeah, okay, yeah. So Tooth Fairy goes
back down the stairs, because for whatever reason,
the front door is at the top of the stairs, but
she also has the bottom floor too. Like the bottom
floor is like kitchen, maybe garage, I don't
know. Upstairs is living room and bedroom. And
it's the slowest where did they go scene of all
time. That's just the worst. Then she comes up
to a room that has an open door and she's just
staring at the door and behind her is the Tooth
Fairy, who comes up behind her with a child's
hammer. It is a hammer meant for children. One
bonk to the shoulder, not even the neck, just
like the top of the shoulder. And then she's
incapacitated and she's tied to a chair. And
she comes to, in the video, is playing of at
home dentistry, and they have some back and forth.
The Tooth Fairy kisses Sammy on the cheek, which
is odd. She ain't got no lips. Yeah, and the
lips, the mouth doesn't move, so I don't know
how she makes that sound. But she still does
move. Yeah, there's still a visible smooch or
a audible smooch. And then puts a giant flathead
against Sammy's teeth and just starts chipping
away with the hammer. And what's funny is After
this, Sammy's head falls forward and the blood
starts dripping out and you can visibly see the
blood capsule come out with the blood. That's
awesome. I did not catch that. Oh, and this is
where I first noticed that the tooth fairy's
mouth does not move at all. Yeah. I feel like
it wouldn't have been a massive budget constraint
if they had just maybe like cut the mouth in
half or the bottom part of the mask and then
just added some stuff that moved. Yeah, you'd
think so. I don't think it would have been...
Hey, we're here to turn these out in no time.
We're not here for realism. There. She stabs
Sammy in the neck and you can visibly see where
she is putting the knife and it's going behind
the neck. And it's just the most fake rubber
knife you've ever seen. This movie was actually
sponsored by Spirit Halloween. This is all things
you could remake this movie. with a trip to Spirit
Halloween without a doubt. Do you know Spirit
Halloween is owned by Spencer's? I did, yeah.
Just a quick little side note. And then 20 minutes
and 38 seconds is when you finally get the title
card and it just says Tooth Fairy, Drill to Kill.
I would have been totally cool if that was just
the beginning to the end of the thing. Yeah.
It was just 20 minutes and full arc. Yeah. And
then we go back to the school and then it just,
it's its own movie and it's so terrible. You
want to take this next section? So it cuts to
Meg, who we now know is the sister of Sammy.
And she is grieving for her sister, who has been
murdered in who knows how. They're looking. Not
hard, but they're looking. And it goes almost
to an almost identical scene. of Meg doing the
exact same thing that Sammy did where she's sitting
at the desk because she's back at work for the
first time since all of this has happened. Sitting
at Sammy's desk. At Sammy's desk. Does the little
like, I don't know if I should be here because
all of this stuff has gone down. I don't know
if I'm ready to be around the kids. And she confides
in a different one of the teachers than Sammy
did, obviously. And it's just, it's like shot
for shot. Basically the beginning of the movie.
And a little bit down the road, they decide that
they want to do something nice for her because
she's still clearly going through it. And so
since her birthday is next week, they're going
to have a little birthday celebration for her.
A surprise party. A surprise party, yeah. With
four members of the staff. Who, except for security
guards, seem to be the only employees of this
school. Correct. I don't think that this takes
place. significantly later than the school day,
but yeah, there's not a single other staff member
or child in the building. Nope. They, they take
her into the deeply weird, uh, teacher's lounge
and they are, they're popping Prosecco, which
immediately gets the one, you know, is the fun
teacher hammered. Yeah. Cause there's, there's
I, I -ness. And I thought it was Inez, but they
just kept saying Inez. I think at one point they
did say Inez, and then they just stuck with Inez
for the end of the movie, for the rest of the
movie. And then there's Michael, who is a man
in a very, very tight button -down shirt. And
then there's Becca, the teacher that wanted to
throw the surprise party. And then there is Zara,
yeah, the principal or... She's definitely the
one in charge. She's either the principal or
just the buzzkill of the group. Yeah, like the
Angela. Yeah. It's very clear, like, subtlety
is not what they're going for here, obviously.
And so it is very clear that Michael and Ines
are going to get together because despite the
fact that these people work in either a daycare
or an elementary school, she is dressed in the
tightest bodycon mini dress that I've seen possibly
ever. It is optimistically about an inch below
her butt cheeks. She's in sparkly heels and it
is just like the least appropriate thing that
you could possibly wear around a minor. Only
to be combated by Michael's more than skin tight
button down. They're doing the whole party thing.
There's cuts to them getting fun and then She
spills something on her dress and decides that
Michael needs to help her with it. She tries
to do something in the bathroom, which have half
doors. Would really recommend that because it's
also right next to the teacher's lounge that
all of their colleagues are currently partying
in. Which is where the scene from the beginning
comes in where the tooth fairy pops up behind.
But it's not in focus enough for you to tell
what the hell is going on. But those are just
half bathroom doors for children's bathrooms.
So they go up to one of their classrooms and
are about to have sex, which is the biggest bait
for a horror movie villain. And so out pops the
tooth fairy to stab him directly in the back
instead of screaming as literally no one in this
movie does. despite the fact that all of them
are like, none of them have an injury that would
prevent them from screaming bloody murder. She
lets the tooth fairy finish off Michael while
she runs to the intercom. Stop it. She runs to
the intercom and whispers over a school wide
intercom. She's back. I need help. What are we
doing? You're using an intercom. Don't you hate?
when technology decides to crap out right when
you're being chased by a murderous tooth fairy.
It's the worst. I don't think that one's a technology
issue. Raise your voice. Or that. Speaking at
a normal people volume would be fine. Yeah. I'm
not saying scream into it. That's funny because
there are at least three points in this movie
where the audio clips out. And that could have
been one of them. That would have made sense.
But instead it was three other instances where
it was very noticeable and it was a audio issue.
Yeah, no. I mean, maybe this was an issue with
the movie and it was actually supposed to come
through as something a little bit clearer. But
yeah, they hear like one in every third word
that she's whispering over the intercom. They're
like, who? What? Did she just ask for help? Yeah.
And in between there, there was actually one
more teacher that we missed that was pretty inconsequential.
She was there for the birthday thing. planning
in the teacher's lounge and then Ran just disappeared.
She ended up running into the Tooth Fairy and
said, Hey, who are you? And then no, that's Zara.
No, no, that's coming later. But this this happened
before that. She the Tooth Fairy runs in like
the most awkward way you have ever seen. And
it's not it's not the only time this happens,
but it was the first time. And it was so jarring
because it was like a like a juke. And then She
went around through a door and then ran down
the hallway and then ends up in a classroom.
And then the teacher, this woman was like, that
was weird. But anyways, and goes to her classroom
and sits at the desk and the tooth fairy just
happened to pick the room that this woman works
in and then kills her there. And yeah, whenever
she falls to the ground, like 10 teeth just fall
out. of this woman's mouth and she scoops him
up and goes about her way. And there's also multiple
times during this party where for whatever reason,
there's like party lights going on and loud music
and people are dancing and multiple people say,
this is a school night. And the slutty teacher
gets sent out to go check the doors because What
if a parent came in and saw that they were drinking
on a school night at the school? And it wasn't
casual. Well, I mean, I guess it was casual drinks
for three of them, but the two that went and
got got, they were definitely digging in pretty
deep. There was five people in two bottles of
Prosecco. I have questions. I'm not even 100
% sure what Prosecco is. Was it strong? Was it
weak? What is it? Champagne. Oh. So like it's
not... Oh, okay. So you're not gonna be... They
basically split two bottles of wine amongst five
people. And the lady is out here using peach
rings as glasses because she's so turnt. Oh,
and then we meet Milos, the security guard, who
is in the movie for a grand total of like two
minutes. He's listening to a radio broadcast
about how the police are looking for an escaped
mental patient. And that's all you hear. And
then Tooth Fairy knocks on the door and these...
I'm here for my son. This, like, very deranged,
not -human -looking person. What was his name?
There's no students here, but I'll look, I'll
check. You don't need a last name for that, because
she literally just says Sammy. His name's Sam.
Sammy. Which, you couldn't have come up with
a different name. Come on. You already need to
throw back to like 30 minutes ago, and... So
he's like, there's no Sammy here. Ma 'am? Oh,
what? She's gone. And then that's when the too
tight shirt guy gets killed and then Tooth Fairy
chases after Inas for a bit and then she gets
on the intercom. She's like, oh, she'll be busy
with that for a couple of minutes. So she goes
back and finishes Michael off, takes his teeth
out and then comes back and Inas goes running.
At least she does not try to do the Jurassic
World thing and does eventually ditch her heels.
Yeah, that is true. There's a weirdly lengthy
upskirt shot as she's running down the stairs
at this elementary school, which is why I'm so
bothered by the bodycon dress that she's wearing
because what are you doing? Also, what are the
filmmakers doing in this case? We know what they're
doing. So the security guard, also in this case,
is drunk because it's implied that he's a good
bit of the way down. the flask that he has just
it's a novelty sized flask too. That thing is
big. Yeah and after Inas invites him into wherever
the other ones are because they're having drinks
he's like oh no I don't drink while his flask
is in full view of everyone sitting on this desk.
Inas goes running she runs into one of the kids
bathrooms it's actually the same one we saw the
Tooth Fairy in from the beginning of the movie
and The bathroom doors are wide open, into the
bathroom, and she's gonna hide in a stall, which,
okay, that's like horror movie 101. What you
don't usually do is go into the stall that is
directly behind the open door, which is what
Inas does. She also doesn't duck down behind
this half door until after she is very clearly
in view of the person chasing her. And her feet
are still on the floor, so she's not hiding from
anyone. She... She's in the stall. The Tooth
Fairy shockingly finds her hiding spot and just
goes like under the door, just like swatting
it with the knife. Just like splashing with her
little plastic knife. She doesn't move away.
So both of her, like the front of her ankles
are just sliced. Yeah, just bone. Just bone.
No tendons, no ligaments, no muscle. Just bone.
there's no there's no actual slash marks there's
just a little bitty collection of fake blood
and then she opens the door and goes to run she
gets like three four steps out realizes that
oh no i forgot she slashed my my ankles my knot
tendons and so she just collapses to the ground
several steps past when she she was completely
incapable of moving and then the tooth fairy
just takes her teeth and is done with it just
bonks her just just like the lice hole on the
forehead and then all of a sudden it shook loose
all these teeth and that is where the four teeth
fall out in the pool of drool blood and she just
scoops them up and goes about her merry way.
Maybe all of their teeth were rotted out because
I can't possibly imagine that you could just
like bonk me on the head and all of mine would
just come out. That's quite possible. I don't
know. I've never been hit in the head with a
hammer. I hope to never find out if my teeth
really are just one little knock away from from
all coming out. Yeah. At least that way I could
get giant veneers and be in Hollywood. There
you go. Look like Walton Goggins. I was thinking
Miley. Or Miley. Any of them. Right. And so at
this point she is chasing the Zara death is nothing.
Zara finds the Tooth Fairy in the classroom and
is like, hey, what are you, what are you doing?
I disagree. I disagree because during that scene,
There is visible boom mic. There is, yeah. In
the bottom right corner. It was so disorienting.
Let's get the little like black and green just
like waving across the edge. Yeah. And it wasn't
like just the tip of it. It was like a good bit
of the boom mic was just fully in frame. I thought
for a second that it was just like framed weird
and there was just like another person there.
But no. But no. There was another person there.
The boom mic guy. Well, sure, yeah. Zara dies.
Uneventful. Yes. And now we are down to the last
two survivors, which are Meg and Becca. They
are... There's also a lot of nothing that happens
in this bit, but they are trying to call... What
is it? 999? Yes. They're trying to call the police
because they find... a bunch of blood, and they
find one of the bodies, right? I don't think
so. Or do they just find blood? They just found
blood. They found the blood from INAS. They find
a bunch of blood. They're trying to call the
police. Becca's phone is dead. Meg doesn't have
hers. So, Becca goes to find one of the phones
inside the school, which there are shockingly
few of, and Meg comes essentially face -to -face
with the Tooth Fairy who is for some reason outside
again. Yes. Sorry. This is after they have the
whole moment with Zara, the maybe principal who
is standing against a wall, Blair Witch style.
Turns, falls to kind of falls to the ground and
then catches herself and yeah, and this is this
is also another one of the ridiculous pop outs
because the Tooth Fairy is hiding underneath
the jungle gym and she just pops out like, hey,
I'm here and then just starts It starts running
up to the door. Oh. There's a prolonged moment
where Meg is hiding under the desk, the security
guard's desk. And the tooth fairy is just taunting
her, talking about how Meg is the reason that
her sister died and that she could have saved
her. She could have done all these things and
now Sammy is dead. She's like, you're never going
to get in here. She calls her a bitch and all
kinds of things. And then the tooth fairy is
like slapping at the door and she's like, you're
never going to get in here. And then the tooth
fairy is like, oh, actually. Yeah. And then holds
up the keys from Inaz. And it would have been,
it would have redeemed the entire movie for me
if it had just been one of those like cartoonishly
giant rings of keys. She's just trying every
one of them. to get into the front of the school.
It would have made the movie a 10 out of 10 to
me. Yeah, well, the janitor dropped these. Give
me 15 to 20 minutes. I'll get you. Like, if the
door, does the door lock on its own? Because
if so, why did Zara send the teacher after locking
the front door, especially when there's a security
guard? And if it doesn't lock on its own, why
does the Tooth Fairy need keys to unlock it again?
There was no one to lock it. Everyone else in
the school was already dead. Well, Becca, or
not Becca, Meg, she did lock it back once Becca
came back inside after the whole Zara thing.
Oh, right. So, it was locked, but she used a
deadbolt that was on the door. So, you would
think that that wouldn't have any effect from
the key card opening. But, you know. The logic
was not top of mind for the screenwriters or
filmmakers, directors, anyone involved in this
movie. That is true. So the Tooth Fairy has gotten
back into the building, is chasing Meg, who runs
like Phoebe from Friends. She's out here flailing
as she's running through the halls. She does,
there's a lot of contenders for this position,
but she does one of the most ridiculous things
in the entire movie. She gets into a room that
opens out. She gets into this room, puts a little
bitty desk in front of it, tops it with a tricycle
for some reason. The only child's desk in this
entire school apparently. And she hides in the
theater. It cuts to the other side of the door
and the Tooth Fairy is still chasing her. And
she is beating on this door like it doesn't open
towards her. You can pull it. Literally nothing
is standing in your way from being able to open
this door. And then... Before she really got
settled in into this like little Puppet display
she makes sure to close the curtains and still
leaves it like a Four inch wide gap in between
where you can still see her ass sticking in the
air. This is when you see the tooth fairy She
rides it to the wall right behind Meg. Doesn't
see that there's no back to the theater thing
that Meg is in. Does not see her. She comes back
into the front of the theater, goes around her
to knock on a fake door. She looks, well, she
looks over the top and there's nothing, there's
nothing over it. So she looks over and she's
like, where you're hiding. And then you're like,
okay, so she definitely sees her, but I guess
didn't. To be fair, he does have those little
nostril eyes. I'm sure her field of view is not
wide. I should have written this down with like
timestamps because I think that would have been
more helpful than just my, all of my, the notes
that I have for this. So this is when she is,
like the cops arrive, right? Yeah. She says,
fine, if I can't get you, your friend had pretty
teeth. And so, like, then why are you chasing
Meg with such feracity and said, I'm the one,
you're the one I came for. But then you just
have her in this room and now you're just going
to leave? The buildup, for some reason. I don't
know what she's got against this family. Maybe
they were orthodontists. There has to be some
kind of reasoning that came up in Tooth Fairies
1 through 4. I sure hope so. I don't think that
I will be going back to find out. I'm good. But
I'm curious. I might look up the synopsis. And
yeah, so she goes after Becca, the cops show
up, and Meg and Becca, so happy to see each other
alive, hug with a murderer still in the building
with them for a solid 45 seconds. There are two
gigantic hugs. Maybe wait until the Tooth, steal,
and murder is in handcuffs before you hug, because
that is how you get got. There was some tension
between them for most of the movie, and that
was one of the moments. I could see that. Yeah.
I could see that. So, shockingly, they don't
find her. No way. I know, right? Wild. Meg and
Becca are talking to the cop, trying to relive
all of these events. Are you sure it was her?
Yes, I'm sure it was her. the same cop from last
time this this police force is a force of one
it's a one -man band over there they they have
this conversation with the cop all is right with
the world theoretically they've got all their
middle of the day too yeah they're next to a
window and it's bright and shiny all the king's
horses all the king's men are on are on this
case they go back home and suddenly nighttime
out of nowhere so i stand corrected two two nighttime
scenes Suddenly night time the cop is out on
patrol and the tooth fairy sneaks up behind him
kills him takes his gun so he has his gun drawn
and he's walking around the perimeter of the
house and He for whatever reason goes over to
the grill He opens the grill and sets his gun
down I was expecting to see like some like roasting
teeth or something on the grill or something
that would have Indicated why he would need to
open the grill when he's looking for somebody
and the gun teleports to the tooth fairy's hand.
She pistol whips him like the lightest little
tap on the back of the head you've ever seen
and then he's dead. No, she hits him with the
hammer. No, she doesn't. Yes, she does. No, she
doesn't. I had to rewind it. I had to rewind
it like four or five times because they find
her hammer at the school. So obviously that's
evidence now. So the police are at the school.
He said that they're searching the school for
evidence. They're searching for the lady. And
so if you go back and watch it, he sets his gun
down on the grill. She comes up behind him with
his gun and pistol whips him in the back of the
head. And all of a sudden he's completely unconscious
and unresponsive. Go back and look. Am I going
to have to go watch part of this movie? You will.
You are going to have to. So they find the hammer
at the school. How does she have it again? Exactly.
Exactly. apparently all these people just carry
baby hammers around in their house I don't know
okay so somehow despite the fact that they were
just in incredible danger from a person that
is on the loose looking for those two specifically
they don't know for sure that all the doors are
locked feels like a thing that you would be very
picky about until the end of your days and they
wait until someone knocks on the door to go check
so this exchange is not very long Becca is shot
through the keyhole through the keyhole in the
door. And again, people would have come in handy.
I mean, this movie was made in twenty twenty
two and seems to be set in present day. So like
or ring ring camera cam. Yeah, something in a
little bit of security. And also, so Becca couldn't
use her cell phone whenever they were being chased
because her phone was dead. So she had to go
find a landline, which she found. They come back
to the house. I'll call the police. Oh, my phone's
dead. Don't you think if you're in that kind
of a situation, the first thing you would do
is charge your phone? She was traumatized. Well,
Meg is pissed. She was in shock. She's like,
what do you mean? You said whenever you got home,
the first thing you were going to do was charge
your phone. And then Becca's response is, well,
where's your phone? I left it at the school.
Well, I'm going to go charge it real quick. And
as soon as it's charged, I'll call the police.
And so while she's waiting for her to get charged,
she goes to the door. Hello, who is it? And then
the Tooth Fairy's on the other side of the door.
Just has the gun just right there on the keyhole.
The mail slot, right? No, it was the keyhole.
And then you hear a shot and then the flash from
the muzzle is inside the house. There's like
a strobe. And then she walks in on Becca who's
on the floor with just some stuff spattered on
her eye. Super chill. You hear a gunshot in your
house and you know you don't own a gun? And you
know, your friend is out by the door and there's
a murderer outside. She's just like, huh, what
was that noise? Well, this was at Becca's house.
They're at Becca's house. I thought this was,
oh, okay. Yeah, because she said, you can stay
here tonight and then however long else after
that you need to. And then Meg was like, I might
take you up on that. That was tension number
two or three. Maybe it was three, but yeah. So
the Tooth Fairy delivers something with the exact
same amount of force as killed. everyone else
in this movie to this point, just kind of stuns
Meg. She sits her at a table across from Becca.
Who's dead? She's tied to a chair incredibly
loosely and decides to start monologuing about
why she's like this. You sly dog. You got me
monologuing. From the 60 second plot thing earlier,
the reason that she is like this is because when
she was young, it was just her and mother. mother
and her and that's an exact line from this movie
it is yeah she would have to brush her teeth
before dinner feels like an odd choice not my
place to judge i suppose she had to brush her
teeth before dinner if she didn't brush her teeth
before dinner she would be punished because her
mother believed that the devil essentially came
through cavities and so it created this complex
in this escaped mental patient acting as the
tooth fairy And so now, she needs to rid the
devil from people by killing them and taking
their perfectly healthy teeth. Yes. Becca, or
not Becca, Becca is still dead across the table.
With no exit wound, by the way. She's face down.
Yeah, no, it's still in there. Her hair is pristine.
Meg unties herself, starts grappling with the
Tooth Fairy. Did you notice how the Tooth Fairy
flinched because she knew that Meg was about
to get up? Oh, I didn't catch that, no. That
is awesome. Meg gets up and is like grappling
with a tooth fairy, grabs the gun, does the same
thing that everyone in a bad horror movie does,
like kill them and ask questions later. You don't
need to monologue. You don't need to say, this
one's from my sister, which is not what she does,
but it is pretty damn close. I didn't realize,
like I knew the UK had very strict gun laws.
I didn't realize that officers... there were
only allowed to carry one bullet in their gun.
To be fair, it was a water gun spray painted
black. So I would imagine it had to do some serious
modding to be able to hold that single bullet.
We don't know that the cop didn't shoot the grill
or something outside. Maybe he was in target
practice before this. Yeah. And this was just
the last bullet that killed Becca. Oh, I got
to save this one in case shit goes down. So,
Meg is out here monologuing now. Gun pointed
at the Tooth Fairy. Shocker. There are no bullets.
Oh, man. Tooth Fairy gets the upper hand. They
wrestle for a little bit. Meg runs to the door,
is trying in slow motion to undo the latches
that she literally just did, so how they could
confuse her baffles me. Is trying to undo these
latches in slow motion. Tooth Fairy walks up
to her. Let's saunter. Yeah. Stabs are inside.
Again. And then there wasn't any inclination
of who the Tooth Fairy was talking to, but it's
a Tarantino vantage point from the trunk or the
hatch of what we can assume. Oh, I don't know.
It wouldn't be the, I wouldn't think that it
would be Sammy's car, but looks very similar.
And she says, I'm taking you with me and then
closes it and then credits roll. And there you
go. There's Tooth Fairy. Drill. to kill with
absolutely no drills and really nothing and no
kills if we're being for realsies except for
a few yeah that would actually kill anybody even
even a knife to the kidney you can survive you
can get to the hospital she puts the chisel like
all the way in her i'm pretty sure i mean she
could absolutely survive it all of them have
the the survival instincts of a lemming but yeah
well i mean We haven't really worked out this
system yet. What our grading scale is going to
be I had two different I had two different ratings
for this movie. Oh, okay. I gave this movie one
molar Alternatively I give this movie zero drills
because why was her weapon a hammer? Yeah, I
don't know my those are my ratings. It's either
one molar or zero drills. Yeah, I mean That's
being generous. If I were writing a review, it
would be, I give this one molar, but that's only
because it won't let me give it zero molars.
I just, I could not find, as soon as it was over,
I could not find a redeeming quality out of any
of it. Yeah, I got nothing. I couldn't point
to something and say, you know, that part, at
least that part was well done. Yeah. I... I was
trying to be like like devil's advocate the whole
movie and I was trying to find that one thing
that was just like I mean at least whatever the
the setting makes no sense the whole thing is
filmed during the day despite the fact that it
takes place from what I would imagine is 3 pm
to 10 pm ish of the next day the characters are
to put it mildly a bit flat one -dimensional
the death scenes are feel like they were supposed
to have been sped up in post, but maybe it would
have made the run time a little too short. Again,
actually, I don't know if this was before we
started recording or after, but in a great deal
of the time that the Tooth Fairy is using a knife,
she uses the back of it. She uses the flat side
of this knife. She does. And it somehow cuts
what we're supposed to assume, I believe, is
the Achilles tendon. From the front of the foot,
yeah. as well as cutting the, oh, is the extra
teacher that I forgot about, is that the one
where she does like the smile cut? Yes. Does
like the Dahlia? Okay. That is done with the
back of the knife. The amount of just like, if
you're trying, if your goal is to take out people's
teeth, why not go for pliers? I know it's a little
thing, but why not go for pliers? Why not? Or
if you're going to use a hammer and a chisel
for some reason. Maybe kill them first so that
you can get like actual, like the whole teeth
out instead of just the little above ground pieces.
I don't think Forethought is really the Tooth
Fairy's, uh, M .O. I couldn't tell you what really
her M .O. is because it seems to be all over
the place. Uh, she doesn't seem to have a certain
goal in mind or a task that she is hoping to
achieve. But, uh, yeah, I mean, it's, uh, If
I had to pick someone out of the movie that should
maybe have this one scrubbed from their IMDB,
I think it'd probably be Becca. She was fine.
She was all right. The rest of them deserve it.
They deserve to have them followed by Tooth Fairy,
Drill to Kill, for the rest of their careers.
The next time that I have an hour and a half
to spare. and literally nothing on my to -do
list. I think I might watch Tooth Fairy, Queen
of Pain, which is the fourth one in this franchise
because it does give backstory for this trip.
I believe they killed everyone but Sammy. Okay.
Well, I'm gonna need some time to cleanse this
one from my palette first, but yeah, I'd be willing
to take a whack at it. Okay, so final, what is
your final reading? Brush your teeth or take
the punishment is what I took away from this
movie. I'm gonna start using that too. Let me
start using that at bedtime. Brush your teeth
or take the punishment. And this is done before
dinner, correct? Yes, obviously. And then after
too, because obviously... They also have to brush
their teeth after dinner? I didn't specify that
she had to brush her teeth after dinner. I would
assume to create such a psychosis that this girl
just spent her entire childhood just brushing
her teeth non -stop. And that's how they grew
so big. Did she brush her teeth so much that
her lips wore away? Her lips wore away and her
teeth grew so big because they were so healthy
from being so clean. And then they just, they
fused together. I might never brush my teeth
again. Oh, what a steaming pile of a waste of
our time. What a movie, man. What a movie. What
a movie. All right. So if you were to fix the
plot, if you had, if you could save this movie,
what would you do? First thing I would do would
be redesign the Tooth Fairy because it's ridiculous.
I would probably give her a dental backstory,
a dentist gone rogue. She was a dentist or she
was abused by a dentist? No, she was a dentist
and just went crazy and started believing that
the that the devil hides in rotten teeth. I would
Make her more Choosy if that's gonna be her thing
that's gonna be rotten teeth then okay, someone's
drinking a soda boom dead Someone is enjoying
a Nice glass of water you get to live. Okay.
I saw floss in their trashcan. There you go.
Yeah. Yeah, they're good. They're good Yeah,
and then as far as I wouldn't put it in a move
I wouldn't put it in a school because the school
had nothing to do with anything it just seemed
like the only place that they could get to film
was out of school and therefore Therefore they
had to make the story revolve around the school.
Yeah I mean if you're using the same actors and
all that then I think those changes could be
Enough I would take out the first 20 minutes
all the stuff with Sammy unnecessary and then
Yeah, I think that that could turn this from
a steaming pile into something that is still
bad, but there's still parts of it that you could
remember. What about you? If I were to make adjustments
to this movie, I would go one of two directions.
One, if I'm gonna keep the plot line and all
of the acting and things the way that it is,
I would lean a little bit more scary movie. I
would just up the ante on the ridiculous props.
We're keeping the tricycle, obviously. You could
honestly do a genuine kids hammer, one of the
ones that's plastic and fun colors, because it's
just as effective as the hammer that she's using.
One that squeaks? Yes. Just one of those little
gavels. I think that'd be fun. Maybe give her
a fun little set of scars on her back, like she
maybe had wings at one point. She's a deranged
person, so I don't feel like an injury like that
would be out of the question. Maybe she was convinced
that she was, in fact, at one point, the Tooth
Fairy, and then she fell from grace, and now
she's out for revenge because why not? Or make
her the actual Tooth Fairy. Or make her the actual
Tooth Fairy, for sure. Like a murderous pixie.
And then you go after candy execs. There you
go. Luigi Mangione style. If I were legitimately
fixing this movie, I think that I would... I
wouldn't necessarily take out the Sammy thing
because I do know that it connects to the previous
films, but I would shorten it and I would establish
at the beginning that Meg and Sammy are sisters.
I think the school thing is fine technically,
but I think there's ways to go about establishing
these kind of like traumatic backstories and
stuff without them having the like shimmery like
fade to a flashback kind of things when they
look at a photograph. Like it's just bad. It's
bad storytelling. And then for the gore stuff,
I would give the actors or possibly the camera
people more training in either stage fighting
or perspective because I think there's a way
to make it look like someone has actually been
hit by the thing. But there's only there's one
scene in the entire movie where the tooth fairy
looks like she has actually physically hit the
person that she is trying to assault. And that
is at the very end. That's because she goes part
with that hammer. But the rest of them, it's
just like a little bunk and then they're dead.
If they used a little bit more time on like the
special effects and stuff, you could use more
than just blood caps and do actual like the you
could even get like the cheap like scar tissue
makeup stuff. And I don't think that would be
dramatically different. But I think it would
make a lot of changes to the quality of the movie
if it looked like anyone had actually gotten
hurt by the things that happened to them. Like
especially Maybe some more squibs. Yes. Yeah,
I would add some like VFX kind of makeup. And
I think that would honestly do a great deal to
the movie. I agree. It would bring it up to like
maybe a bicuspid, a K9. What are your front teeth
called? I think those are incisors, aren't they?
I don't know. I did definitely Google the different
types of teeth so that I could make this nonsense
grading system. Well. All in all, it was a movie.
The only reason I could think of for people to
watch this movie is if they want to confirm all
the idiocy that we described in this episode.
I think it is a fun watch if you have literally
nothing better to do with your time. If you are
like me and you have a fascination with low -budget
horror movies, this movie is for you. Is it good?
No, it's an absolute waste of your time. 100%.
Is it worth a watch? Jokingly, yes. If you watch
it alone, I don't think it's worth it. If you're
watching it with another person so that you can
mock it the whole time, maybe. I watched it solo.
I don't recommend. I did too. I almost fell asleep,
like two or three times. I mean, we didn't necessarily,
like we watched it solo, but I also feel like
this makes up for that. So if this were the...
Yeah. Like if we were watching it together, I
think it would be fun. Not for a quality standpoint,
but just as a way to pass some time. All right.
Well, that is our first movie review in the books.
Let us know what you thought on TikTok, Instagram,
Twitter, Cash Exchange Pod, email, cashexchangepod
at gmail .com. While you're there, if you could
subscribe, if you could drop a few likes, if
you liked anything. Leave us a comment and tell
us how you really feel, but be nice about it.
Don't be an asshole. If you've seen this movie,
let us know your perspective. Are we completely
off base? Is this a cinematic masterpiece? I
would absolutely love to have that conversation.
If we have been misled by starting at the fifth
movie in the series, let us know if 1 -3 -4 are
worth the watch. I will do my best next time
to not choose something so deep into a franchise
I didn't know existed. I will not just suggest
something that did not exist. And on that note,
we're out. We'll see you.