WEBVTT

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You're eating a burrito on a jet ski, you psychopath.

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Romantic burritos on the ocean, watching the

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sunset, dolphins cresting in front of you. You

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missed a proposal opportunity, man. Five, four,

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three, two, one, zero. Welcome to the show, people.

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Welcome to the show. Eat my shorts. So here is

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to conversation. Tranquility Base here. The angle

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has landed. Welcome to the Cash Exchange. What

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up? How have you been? I have been pretty good,

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all things considered. I had a... I was coming

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back from Miami. I had a actually pleasant Uber

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ride to the airport. Sounds fake. What do you

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mean it sounds fake? Pleasant Uber ride to the

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airport? Sounds fake. I don't take Ubers. I have

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no frame of reference for that. Oh, no? Well,

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usually it's not someone that you're very apt

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to converse with. I have settings when I request

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a ride that I have little to no conversation

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and as cold as they can make it. About 50 % of

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the time, they actually hold to that. And this

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time was... No different. I had those settings

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set. But this guy, he intrigued me. He seemed

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like a jack of all trades. He was born and raised

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in Miami, had no concept of anything Texas. I

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told him that I was from the Dallas -Fort Worth

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area. He was like, oh, I've been there. Yeah,

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last summer I was in San Antonio for my son's

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graduation from the Air Force. Yeah. Whatever

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base is out there. Air Force. Yeah. And then.

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Every time I talk about where I'm from, they're

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always like, oh, I love the Dallas Cowboys. And

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now you don't. No, you don't. I'm from there

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and I don't even love the Dallas Cowboys. Well,

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sure. But you, for some reason, been a Saints

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fan for ever. That doesn't mean there aren't

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diehard Dallas Cowboys fans. I mean, that's true.

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That's true. They are America's team. But they

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just it comes off as just like the thing to say.

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Sure. Yeah. Like if you it's like a talking point

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that like taxi drivers, Uber drivers, anyone

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that's in like the service industry is does is

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like whenever you find out they're from this

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place, you have this go to say, oh, I love this

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thing. That is fair. The service industry, if

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people would ask me where I was from and I would

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say Oklahoma without fail. Oh, I love you. Something

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like that. They would ask me if I was an OU or

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a Longhorns fan. A house divided. Whatever will

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get me a higher tip. I have absolutely no idea.

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I love whichever one you love. No. Right? No,

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it's a waste of time. But it's mini NFL now,

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so. But no, his name was Charles. I gave him

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some insider tips on how to get his part -time

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real estate business off the ground. He's also

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a paralegal and also an Uber driver. I'm telling

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you, man, jack of all trades. This is why you

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talk to your Uber driver. Shout out to Charles.

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And yeah, hopefully he didn't lie when he said,

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hey, I'll give you a listen. And now he knows

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that he got a shout out. Hi, Charles. All right.

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So we're stepping back into our episode from

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last week, which was advertising missteps. This

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is true. But I have three different things for

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you today. Okay. And before I get into it, this

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is a different three things because we took.

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kind of the bulk of the in poor taste ads. And

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so what I have left in my notes are, let's go

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with a little bit more innocuous. So your three

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things for today are pivot, the Carlson dance,

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and Oprah's car giveaway. Oprah's car giveaway.

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How young do you have to be? What's the youngest

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you would be in order to have any point of reference

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for Oprah's car giveaway? So Oprah's car giveaway

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was in 04. I remember it, but I don't know if

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I remember it like the actual event. Or just

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hearing about it. Or just like the fact that

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it, yeah, the fact that it had stuck around on

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the internet. It's still a thing that I think

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about every once in a while. Because it definitely,

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it broke what was the internet at the time way

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harder than Kim Kardashian on that cover of the

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magazine with all the oil. I don't know that.

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That particular stunt, I think, is really interesting

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to look at because it did not turn out great

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for most of the people that were gifted cars.

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No, it turned out the same way it turned out

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for all the extreme home makeover people. Uncle

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Sam came a knocking. And honestly, anyone who

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wins, anyone who wins Price is Right, Wheel of

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Fortune, the amount that you pay and like the,

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I guess for hers, it would have been like tag

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title and licensing and stuff. or the amount

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that you would pay in like property taxes and

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stuff. Those home makeover shows will bankrupt

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a lot of people. There's a Family Guy episode

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about it now. And prize taxes. Prize taxes are

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ridiculous. I don't know what prize taxes are

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specifically. I don't know how much it is, but

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I mean, it's along the same lines as the lottery

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tax, where if you take the lump sum, you end

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up forking over like almost half, like 40 % of

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it just in taxes alone. Oh, okay. So similar

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kind of situation with that, but just winnings

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from game shows. So here's a hot tip. You may

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want that showcase showdown with the camper and

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the two jet skis and the new kitchen set. Just

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take the cash value. They'll deduct the money

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out of it, and then you just get whatever's left

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over. Take the cash value. Or sell off one of

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those jet skis. Use it to cover the taxes on

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the other things. Or do that. Do you really need

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a his and hers jet ski? Uh, I mean, you've never

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had a sunset dinner on your jet ski with the

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love of your life? Maybe some dolphins cresting

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over the water? I think jet skis are inherently

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a one -person activity. So, no. What do you mean?

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If you have two of them... Well, yeah, but how

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do you... Then you go side by side. And you ride

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those waves of love together. How do you split...

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How do you split a dinner across two jet skis?

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I don't think that they stay lined up all that

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well. I mean, it's got to be something handheld.

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I mean, it's like burritos. You're eating a burrito

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on a jet ski? You psychopath. Romantic burritos

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on the ocean, watching the sunset, dolphins cresting

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in front of you. You missed a proposal opportunity,

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man. No greater. Show of love. It should have

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been on jet skis and with burritos. Well, I don't

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have jet ski money. Maybe the honeymoon. God

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willing. God willing. So what are your three

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things? Pivot, the Carlton dance, and Oprah.

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Oh, we already did them. We already did them.

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Okay. That's how we got to talking about Oprah.

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And that's how we got to talking about game shows.

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Yeah, that bankrupted a lot of people. A lot

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of people just had to forfeit the cars. Do you

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even remember what kind of car it was? It was

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the Pontiac. It was Pontiacs. I don't know what

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specific ones. Grand Am? Maybe. It was like the

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sedan -iest car of sedans. Yeah. And Pontiac

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doesn't even exist anymore. It was a quintessentially

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2004 car. Pontiac doesn't exist anymore? Uh -uh.

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Oprah killed Pontiac. They were a part of what,

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Chevy? Yes. The Carlton dance. She gave out...

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You gave out what? Real quick, just a few metrics

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on the Oprah giveaway. Each car was worth $28

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,500. She gave away 276 of them. And it was the

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Pontiac G6. They were charged $6 ,000 to $7 ,000

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as a gift tax. Yeah. And they had no idea that

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they would be walking out of there with a car.

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Because the whole thing was like you'd get on

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a wait list to be part of the audience. You knew

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that you were getting something because she always

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have like a surprise or something under the seat.

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But no one had ever gotten anything more than

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maybe like a cookware set or, I don't know, moisturizer.

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A novel. Something like that. Yeah, a book, whatever

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the person that was on her show was peddling.

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And yeah, they walked out of there with a car

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and a unexpected $8 ,000 bill. I don't know if

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that was due at time of delivery or due on their

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next taxes. I think all their next taxes. Yeah.

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At least they got probably a little bit of time

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with their audience. Do you know that John Oliver

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actually beat her in the biggest giveaway on

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a television show? Yeah, I watched that episode.

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What did he give away? He bought a bunch of debt

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because they sell it for like pennies on the

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dollar. And then he forgave $15 million in debt.

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That's pretty cool. Which I think. Everyone should

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do. Everyone who has the ability to spend HBO's

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or say CBS's money since he's on his way out

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anyway. Colbert could do something pretty cool.

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Yeah, I think those checkbooks are probably pretty

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tight these days. I don't think he has as much

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access to the coffers as he used to. Probably,

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yeah. But no, I watched that. I mean, that was

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a big deal when John Oliver did that. I used

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to watch him all the time. Now I kind of feel

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like he has a little bit of an Adam Ruins Everything

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vibe to him, so I don't watch him as much. But,

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ooh, ooh, dissension. In what sense? Just that

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the information that he picks out is very cherry

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-picked, to prove his point. Same thing, Adam

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Ruins Everything. He's less egregious about it.

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Adam Conover is one of the tooliest tools that

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has ever tooled. Really liked that show starting

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out. And then as he got, I don't think it even

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lasted that long, but as he got further in, he

00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:56.659
just got so... Up his own keister? Exhaustingly

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preachy. Yeah. Yeah, and there's all kinds of

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stuff you can watch now on YouTube of breaking

00:11:03.340 --> 00:11:06.039
down his episodes of Adam Ruins Everything and

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just how false and cherry -picked all of it is.

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And then have you seen the time that he was on

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Rogan? Yes. Oh. Jeez Louise. Yeah. Not a good

00:11:17.720 --> 00:11:21.980
look. Yeah, his stand -ups are more of that than

00:11:21.980 --> 00:11:24.100
anything else these days from what I understand.

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His stand -up sets are just him screaming to

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the audience that the world is about to end,

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which don't get me wrong, it probably is. Maybe.

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Regardless of what you think is going to cause

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it, I'm pretty sure we're all pretty much in

00:11:37.639 --> 00:11:39.759
agreement that things ain't looking so good right

00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:43.120
now. Could be. Could be. But hey, we don't want

00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:45.509
to hear about it day in and day out. So just

00:11:45.509 --> 00:11:47.830
like live your life, man. Maybe don't try to

00:11:47.830 --> 00:11:50.889
ruin everyone's day. He also has a podcast called

00:11:50.889 --> 00:11:53.649
Well, Actually, which is the single most fitting

00:11:53.649 --> 00:11:58.629
title I think he could use. Oh, man. It is sometimes

00:11:58.629 --> 00:12:00.470
interesting. I've listened to a couple episodes

00:12:00.470 --> 00:12:03.009
on it. The topics that he was covering weren't

00:12:03.009 --> 00:12:05.730
all the world is going to end. It's not a bad

00:12:05.730 --> 00:12:09.809
listen. No, thanks. Hard pass. All right. So

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Carlton Dance. What is this? Where is that puzzle

00:12:14.710 --> 00:12:16.610
piece going? Where is that puzzle piece? Where

00:12:16.610 --> 00:12:18.529
does it fit in the grand scheme of things? I

00:12:18.529 --> 00:12:22.490
know what the Carlton dance is, but where does

00:12:22.490 --> 00:12:26.990
it fit in the grand scheme of this episode? Do

00:12:26.990 --> 00:12:28.629
you want to know my thought process and the three

00:12:28.629 --> 00:12:31.250
things for today? I would love to know your thought

00:12:31.250 --> 00:12:34.009
process for the three things. So the Carlton

00:12:34.009 --> 00:12:40.669
dance, the Opa car giveaway, and... Those are...

00:12:40.940 --> 00:12:44.039
All memorable moments from 90s or 2000s television.

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Oh. Like our topic for today, advertisements.

00:12:47.960 --> 00:12:50.840
Before we get into this episode, I did have a

00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:52.860
couple things to add to last week's episode.

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Okay. One, post -Sydney Sweeney apocalypse for

00:12:57.419 --> 00:13:02.000
American Eagle, their stock price jumped 20%.

00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:06.360
Yeah. No press is bad press. No info on where

00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:11.559
Duncan stands after there. foray into controversial

00:13:11.559 --> 00:13:15.500
advertisements but yeah sydney is doing doing

00:13:15.500 --> 00:13:18.620
something to be fair i don't think that the duncan

00:13:18.620 --> 00:13:22.179
ad would have made a ton of waves without the

00:13:22.179 --> 00:13:25.440
sydney sweeney controversy probably not no so

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i mean i don't think that it would have affected

00:13:27.100 --> 00:13:30.779
anything kind of regardless coattail rider but

00:13:30.779 --> 00:13:33.259
on the the topic of the controversial ads before

00:13:33.259 --> 00:13:38.000
we get into the decidedly way more fun ones was

00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.519
obviously Kendall Jenner ending racism with the

00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:46.179
2017 Pepsi ad where she walks into... Does she

00:13:46.179 --> 00:13:47.960
walk into the line of protesters or the line

00:13:47.960 --> 00:13:52.379
of the SWAT people? Between them. Okay. Regardless,

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Kendall Jenner ended racism. When the world needed

00:13:55.259 --> 00:13:58.820
her most, she disappeared. And also, Nivea's

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White is Purity campaign, which is a thing that

00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:08.230
actually existed for... For some reason. That

00:14:08.230 --> 00:14:11.330
was a thing that got greenlit by probably several

00:14:11.330 --> 00:14:13.629
teams of people. What did the protest look like?

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I mean, I'm sure that one was just hordes of

00:14:18.789 --> 00:14:21.750
people being upset on Twitter. The now formerly

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Twitter. Which that's all the Sidney Sweeney

00:14:25.889 --> 00:14:30.409
thing turned into. Except for the semi -viral,

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I guess, photo of the large black lady flipping

00:14:33.850 --> 00:14:36.929
off the... picture of Sidney Sweeney in the storefront?

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Didn't see that. Oh, so it's not even viral,

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not even viral in your household. So maybe it

00:14:42.470 --> 00:14:45.509
wasn't that viral at all. The news cycle moves

00:14:45.509 --> 00:14:48.909
so quickly that, I mean, even the coverage that

00:14:48.909 --> 00:14:52.090
we have of the Sidney Sweeney topic last week

00:14:52.090 --> 00:14:55.370
is probably kind of at the end of its life. I

00:14:55.370 --> 00:14:58.710
gauge virality of something by whether Emily

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brings it up to me or not. Oh, that is a good

00:15:02.029 --> 00:15:06.059
metric. I'm I'm we we run in different Internet

00:15:06.059 --> 00:15:10.039
circles. And so if it makes it to her her side

00:15:10.039 --> 00:15:12.559
of the Internet, then I know that it was probably

00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:16.460
pretty viral. Yesterday we were in we were at

00:15:16.460 --> 00:15:20.240
the pool for our last hurrah for summer. It was

00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:23.639
a community pool and there was a person there

00:15:23.639 --> 00:15:30.000
that maybe hadn't updated their wardrobe in 75,

00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:34.480
80 pounds ago. So busting out of everything.

00:15:35.740 --> 00:15:40.320
Shorts that were essentially a thong, not supposed

00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:45.759
to be, but were a white T -shirt that stopped

00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:50.379
like maybe a third of the gut down. So two thirds

00:15:50.379 --> 00:15:54.039
popping out. I say white T -shirt because there's

00:15:54.039 --> 00:15:56.080
nothing under it and you could see full areola

00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:02.500
the whole time. And I told Emily. that this person

00:16:02.500 --> 00:16:06.259
looks like Gorlock the Destroyer. Do you know

00:16:06.259 --> 00:16:15.659
about Gorlock the Destroyer? So Gorlock made

00:16:15.659 --> 00:16:17.759
it to your side of the internet, but not Emily's.

00:16:17.980 --> 00:16:21.480
Is that a safe assumption? So I only know, I

00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:23.440
think so, because I only know who Gorlock the

00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:27.720
Destroyer is because of the lady who was, I think

00:16:27.720 --> 00:16:30.320
she had a breakdown in like the Burger King drive

00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:34.419
-thru. She's on a podcast. I want to say it's

00:16:34.419 --> 00:16:37.240
like the Whatever podcast, but she was getting

00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:40.759
roasted. Is that the one where they edit all

00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:46.759
the OF girls to look like complete morons? Yes,

00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.740
it is. With the guy with the beard? Let's see

00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:53.860
if I can find her name. Yeah, I've never listened

00:16:53.860 --> 00:16:56.440
to an episode of that. I've heard little bits

00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:59.529
of it. I've just seen clips. I can't. possibly

00:16:59.529 --> 00:17:02.029
imagine wanting to watch that oh that's what

00:17:02.029 --> 00:17:04.210
it was uh she was having a breakdown in the burger

00:17:04.210 --> 00:17:07.750
king drive -thru because um someone said that

00:17:07.750 --> 00:17:10.549
they weren't her type and she was like i know

00:17:10.549 --> 00:17:13.230
that i'm a 10 out of 10 and the comments went

00:17:13.230 --> 00:17:15.509
after this woman you call yourself a 10 out of

00:17:15.509 --> 00:17:20.109
10 you are in other people's eyes usually low

00:17:20.109 --> 00:17:24.190
twos i am not one to fat shame but i think she

00:17:24.190 --> 00:17:29.019
meant on the richter scale I will be coming on.

00:17:29.460 --> 00:17:36.779
No, you won't. You will not. Oh, man, that was

00:17:36.779 --> 00:17:40.799
a good one. That was a good one. So what do we

00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:44.160
got today? What what really pops out to you for

00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:48.019
advertisements from the 90s and the 2000s that

00:17:48.019 --> 00:17:50.920
may have been a little out of pocket? So one

00:17:50.920 --> 00:17:52.900
of the reasons that I was kind of getting into

00:17:52.900 --> 00:17:54.859
this topic, aside from the Sidney Sweeney controversy,

00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:58.670
is because. It seems with all of these mergers

00:17:58.670 --> 00:18:00.609
and acquisitions and things that are happening

00:18:00.609 --> 00:18:02.910
across all the streaming sites that we're probably

00:18:02.910 --> 00:18:05.130
going to just circle back to cable one of these

00:18:05.130 --> 00:18:09.190
days. Yeah. And like Hulu is going to be gone

00:18:09.190 --> 00:18:10.609
by next year and it's going to be completely

00:18:10.609 --> 00:18:13.890
taken over by Disney. Yes. Which is, in my opinion,

00:18:14.029 --> 00:18:17.349
a real bummer. But that said, once we kind of

00:18:17.349 --> 00:18:19.660
reinvent cable. I don't think that it's going

00:18:19.660 --> 00:18:22.779
to be affordable as is. And so we'll just end

00:18:22.779 --> 00:18:27.119
up going back to ads. And the ads that I genuinely

00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:30.500
miss are predominantly just the super, super

00:18:30.500 --> 00:18:34.420
weird ones. Starting off strong with the Quiznos

00:18:34.420 --> 00:18:38.660
sponge monkeys. I have read interviews with the

00:18:38.660 --> 00:18:42.099
Quiznos people. I have seen the ads in their

00:18:42.099 --> 00:18:45.299
heyday. More or less. And I still don't understand

00:18:45.299 --> 00:18:47.839
what a sponge monkey is. I'm not even sure that's

00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:49.420
how it's pronounced because there's no E in sponge

00:18:49.420 --> 00:18:51.920
monkey. But I think they're so interesting. I

00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:54.059
think that kind of ad should make a comeback

00:18:54.059 --> 00:18:57.240
whenever we've circled back to cable. Yeah. So

00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:03.700
it's like a gerbil with human eyes, cracked up

00:19:03.700 --> 00:19:07.160
human teeth, and a bowler hat. Yeah. Yes. This

00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:10.519
is very member berries. Yeah. They just want

00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:13.369
Quiznos subs. If we're being fully transparent,

00:19:13.549 --> 00:19:16.009
I don't know if Quiznos still exists. I don't

00:19:16.009 --> 00:19:17.869
think I've ever been to one. I don't know if

00:19:17.869 --> 00:19:20.750
they're good. It's a front now. What? There's

00:19:20.750 --> 00:19:23.609
one across the street from my house and literally

00:19:23.609 --> 00:19:25.349
no one's there, but it's been there since I've

00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:28.069
been here. Okay. So. Speculate wildly. What is

00:19:28.069 --> 00:19:33.269
it a front for? Hmm. Quiznos. Subs. Italian subs.

00:19:34.109 --> 00:19:39.170
Italian mafia. Maybe. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Just like

00:19:39.170 --> 00:19:43.619
maybe Qdoba. is a front for the cartel. Okay.

00:19:44.779 --> 00:19:48.680
I've never heard anyone say, hey, where'd you

00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:50.859
go to lunch? Oh, I just stopped off at Qdoba.

00:19:51.099 --> 00:19:54.720
I don't. Or hey, I just swung by Schlotzky's.

00:19:54.880 --> 00:19:57.140
I live right next door to a Schlotzky's. Quiznos.

00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:59.799
Quiznos. They're the Austin eatery, so they're

00:19:59.799 --> 00:20:02.240
everywhere around here. I've never been to one.

00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:04.960
I don't think either. I've been maybe once, and

00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:07.019
I could not tell you what decade that was in.

00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:09.400
I'll live and die with Jimmy John's. Jersey Mike's,

00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:12.240
bruh. Nah, I'm not a Jersey Mike's girl. I also

00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:14.619
really don't like Subway. Nah, Subway's gross.

00:20:15.019 --> 00:20:18.420
I can't stand Subway. It divides my house constantly.

00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.319
I don't like Subway. Nate does. That is his preferred

00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:25.619
sub place. But in my last apartment, we lived

00:20:25.619 --> 00:20:27.599
down the street from both of them. And so there

00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:29.880
would be lively debates as to which one of us

00:20:29.880 --> 00:20:32.380
was getting the better sandwich. And that's how

00:20:32.380 --> 00:20:35.299
you keep love alive, folks. This is true. Lively

00:20:35.299 --> 00:20:38.339
debates about which is the better sub sandwich.

00:20:38.539 --> 00:20:41.099
Just saying. Jimmy John's did not get qualified

00:20:41.099 --> 00:20:44.240
as cake in Ireland. So scoreboard. Speaking of

00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:52.099
Subway and ads from the 90s and 2000s, we watched

00:20:52.099 --> 00:20:54.579
Happy Gilmore recently because we were gearing

00:20:54.579 --> 00:20:59.380
up for Happy Gilmore 2. And Subway is a very,

00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.859
very heavy sponsor. Egregious product placement

00:21:02.859 --> 00:21:06.500
in Subway. In fact, it's a plot point that in

00:21:06.500 --> 00:21:08.910
order to make some extra money to... to save

00:21:08.910 --> 00:21:11.809
grandma's house uh he gets a sponsorship with

00:21:11.809 --> 00:21:14.069
subway and then from that point on subway is

00:21:14.069 --> 00:21:16.390
just plastered all over the movie yeah and this

00:21:16.390 --> 00:21:18.410
one they really leaned into the subway because

00:21:18.410 --> 00:21:20.730
there's like subway there's like happy gilmore

00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:25.309
two commercials all over the place and subway

00:21:25.309 --> 00:21:28.869
is all throughout the movie too subway is product

00:21:28.869 --> 00:21:32.049
placement specific kind of advertising is so

00:21:32.049 --> 00:21:34.849
interesting to me yeah have you ever watched

00:21:34.849 --> 00:21:37.109
anything that's fully integrated into besides

00:21:38.230 --> 00:21:40.289
besides Happy Gilmore. Anything that's what?

00:21:40.430 --> 00:21:43.150
That Subway has fully got their product placement

00:21:43.150 --> 00:21:47.210
into. Not that I can think of off the top of

00:21:47.210 --> 00:21:51.049
my head. There was a John Oliver episode on Subway

00:21:51.049 --> 00:21:53.609
a couple years back, which is why I know that

00:21:53.609 --> 00:21:57.730
they're legally declared cake in Ireland. Bananas.

00:21:57.809 --> 00:21:59.809
But one of the things that he mentioned was that

00:21:59.809 --> 00:22:02.829
Subway did their own Korean drama, which... If

00:22:02.829 --> 00:22:04.549
you've never heard of it, I definitely recommend

00:22:04.549 --> 00:22:06.430
you watch it. I can find out what the actual

00:22:06.430 --> 00:22:09.069
name is in just a second. They also did something

00:22:09.069 --> 00:22:11.809
near and dear to John Oliver, an episode of Community.

00:22:12.490 --> 00:22:15.789
Subway Son. I think that's the wrong country.

00:22:16.049 --> 00:22:18.569
I don't think so. I feel like I heard something

00:22:18.569 --> 00:22:21.990
similar to that in Squid Game. Subway Son. Yee

00:22:21.990 --> 00:22:26.309
-hun. Subway. Man, I love the third season of

00:22:26.309 --> 00:22:30.029
that show. Not acknowledging that one. Acknowledge

00:22:30.029 --> 00:22:34.220
me. I won't. Terrible co -host. Just leave me

00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:37.359
out in the cold. That's absolutely correct. I

00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.039
cannot find the name of it, but Subway released

00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:42.140
a Korean drama. Definitely recommend you look

00:22:42.140 --> 00:22:44.599
it up and watch it. It's fantastic, quite honestly.

00:22:45.130 --> 00:22:48.170
A girl maybe cheats on her boyfriend because

00:22:48.170 --> 00:22:51.710
he only ever recommends the veggie subs. And

00:22:51.710 --> 00:22:53.930
she goes into Subway one day and the guy recommends

00:22:53.930 --> 00:22:56.430
that she get like a Philly cheesesteak or something

00:22:56.430 --> 00:22:58.910
like that. And so she's debating as to whether

00:22:58.910 --> 00:23:02.170
she should stick with her veggie sub or switch

00:23:02.170 --> 00:23:07.569
to three meat. While we're sidetracked on subway

00:23:07.569 --> 00:23:11.190
telenovelas in Korean, is that a foot long or

00:23:11.190 --> 00:23:12.930
are you just happy to see me? These are all Reddit

00:23:12.930 --> 00:23:15.369
comments. It's only 11 inches, but I promise

00:23:15.369 --> 00:23:17.309
it won't leave you wanting more. My feelings

00:23:17.309 --> 00:23:19.349
to you have melted like shredded cheese on my

00:23:19.349 --> 00:23:22.549
15 -inch sub. Who's getting a 15 -inch sub? Well,

00:23:22.630 --> 00:23:25.450
a lot of people are in here jumping down this

00:23:25.450 --> 00:23:28.750
person's throat, metaphorically, for them not

00:23:28.750 --> 00:23:33.519
using inches in Korea. I appreciate the attempt,

00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:36.380
but did not stick the landing. It's a very good

00:23:36.380 --> 00:23:38.960
argument for the, what is it, the universal system

00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:40.880
of measurement rather than the metric system

00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:46.400
that we got the $5 foot long jingle. $5, $5 foot

00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:50.140
long. Hey, hey, hey. Real quick before we get.

00:23:50.539 --> 00:23:53.180
any more into Subway. As far as the Quiznos sponge

00:23:53.180 --> 00:23:56.779
monkeys go, I pulled a quote from the actual

00:23:56.779 --> 00:23:59.019
like founder because they just randomly found

00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:02.259
this English animator who was making just like

00:24:02.259 --> 00:24:04.140
one -off sponge monkey videos and they decided

00:24:04.140 --> 00:24:07.640
that this needed to be the ad campaign. And so

00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:11.000
someone asked what he would describe the sponge

00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:13.779
monkeys as. And he described them as an enigma

00:24:13.779 --> 00:24:16.240
wrapped in an enigma. It's a bunch of this and

00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:18.420
tossed in there and bits of texture from rabbits

00:24:18.420 --> 00:24:21.079
and substantial dental defects from humans. He's

00:24:21.079 --> 00:24:25.200
not wrong. To market a sub. Respect. How is that

00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:28.460
any less egregious than Puppy Monkey Baby? I

00:24:28.460 --> 00:24:31.400
also, I would support sponge monkeys well before

00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:34.700
Puppy Monkey Baby. That thing creeps me the hell

00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:39.390
out. And it's what for like E -Trade? Uh, no,

00:24:39.710 --> 00:24:43.769
no. E -Trade is the talking babies. What is Puppy

00:24:43.769 --> 00:24:46.130
Monkey Baby then? Puppy Monkey Baby is Mountain

00:24:46.130 --> 00:24:50.130
Dew or Taco Bell. I remember the ads, but I don't

00:24:50.130 --> 00:24:52.190
remember what they're for, which I think is the

00:24:52.190 --> 00:24:54.970
mark of not a great ad. Mountain Dew. Okay. That

00:24:54.970 --> 00:24:57.430
feels on brand for them. I mean, it was the most

00:24:57.430 --> 00:24:59.990
talked about commercial of that Super Bowl. Was

00:24:59.990 --> 00:25:02.329
that because there wasn't Budweiser frogs or

00:25:02.329 --> 00:25:08.190
what? There just weren't better things to talk

00:25:08.190 --> 00:25:10.210
about at the time. No, around the Super Bowl

00:25:10.210 --> 00:25:12.829
every year, they always, I swear, it's the same

00:25:12.829 --> 00:25:14.970
compilation. They maybe add one or two at the

00:25:14.970 --> 00:25:16.950
end. But every year it's the same compilation

00:25:16.950 --> 00:25:21.150
of craziest commercials. And one I always remember

00:25:21.150 --> 00:25:24.890
is there's these women in bikinis facing this

00:25:24.890 --> 00:25:27.910
like real nerdy man. And they're all in the water,

00:25:27.990 --> 00:25:30.930
like bottom of their neck deep. So only their

00:25:30.930 --> 00:25:34.200
heads are popping out. And they're like. teasing

00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:37.880
this guy because he's real nerdy, whatever. And

00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:41.279
so they start like taking off their bikini tops

00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:43.680
and then taking off their bikini bottoms. And

00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:45.960
then I think he takes his trunks off at one point

00:25:45.960 --> 00:25:49.240
and then they just laugh and go about their merry

00:25:49.240 --> 00:25:54.759
way. And then it turns out that he steps out

00:25:54.759 --> 00:25:57.720
of the water and has an underwater disposable

00:25:57.720 --> 00:26:01.039
camera. And it was an ad for an underwater disposable

00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:04.130
camera. That one always sticks with me. And I

00:26:04.130 --> 00:26:07.049
think about it every time I'm in a public pool

00:26:07.049 --> 00:26:10.349
because now there's like GoPros and and all that.

00:26:10.450 --> 00:26:15.470
We for Father's Day, we were in Galveston and

00:26:15.470 --> 00:26:18.170
I've always wanted one of those like full face

00:26:18.170 --> 00:26:22.230
masks with a snorkel attached because I like

00:26:22.230 --> 00:26:24.930
just laying face down looking like a corpse and

00:26:24.930 --> 00:26:27.390
I can just lay there indefinitely. And so for

00:26:27.390 --> 00:26:31.210
Father's Day, Emily and the kids got me a snorkel

00:26:31.210 --> 00:26:35.200
full face mask. And it was fantastic. We used

00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:39.400
it in the pool, like the hotel pool, until other

00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:41.420
people started getting there. Because I feel

00:26:41.420 --> 00:26:44.880
like you're sending a message if you need to

00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:49.079
be underwater in a public pool long enough that

00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:51.200
you need a snorkel. And I didn't want to send

00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:53.660
that message to the world. That is very good

00:26:53.660 --> 00:26:57.079
of you. And I'm not going to lie, the first thing

00:26:57.079 --> 00:27:00.410
that came to mind was the... underwater disposable

00:27:00.410 --> 00:27:03.509
camera ad. So that stuck with me. That has stuck

00:27:03.509 --> 00:27:05.630
with me since I don't know how long. You know

00:27:05.630 --> 00:27:09.150
the much more innocuous one of those videos in

00:27:09.150 --> 00:27:11.289
the compilation that always sticks with me? The

00:27:11.289 --> 00:27:13.910
guy who has the Midas touch, but it's just Skittles.

00:27:14.650 --> 00:27:17.150
Everything he touched turns to Skittles. And

00:27:17.150 --> 00:27:20.269
he's just like sitting at a desk and these two

00:27:20.269 --> 00:27:22.890
people come up to him and this woman goes, show

00:27:22.890 --> 00:27:24.450
him what you can do. I told him that you can

00:27:24.450 --> 00:27:26.430
turn anything to Skittles. And so he like turns

00:27:26.430 --> 00:27:30.380
a stapler. The guy that's with her goes, oh,

00:27:30.420 --> 00:27:32.539
my God, that's so cool. It must be like the most

00:27:32.539 --> 00:27:34.420
amazing thing to have this power. And he just

00:27:34.420 --> 00:27:36.440
goes on this like little monologue about how

00:27:36.440 --> 00:27:38.700
awful it is to have the Skittles touch. He was

00:27:38.700 --> 00:27:40.980
like, you know what it's like to never be able

00:27:40.980 --> 00:27:43.440
to hold your newborn child, to never touch the

00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:49.440
woman of your dreams. He just like sets his hand

00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:52.160
down on his desk and it all turns to Skittles.

00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:58.680
It was peak advertising. Or like the one where

00:27:58.680 --> 00:28:00.720
there's an old lady sitting next to a middle

00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:05.700
-aged man, and they're obviously mother and son,

00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:09.440
and he asks her for more Skittles, and so she

00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:12.880
eats them, and you see them go in her mouth and

00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:15.380
then out through their still -attached umbilical

00:28:15.380 --> 00:28:18.720
cord and into his stomach. Skittles was on one

00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:22.509
in the early 2000s. I think that one's relatively

00:28:22.509 --> 00:28:25.230
recently. Was it? I think so. I'll have to look

00:28:25.230 --> 00:28:26.769
that one up. I don't remember that ad. The only

00:28:26.769 --> 00:28:29.869
two of the Skittles ads that I remember are the

00:28:29.869 --> 00:28:32.769
guy who turns everything to Skittles and the

00:28:32.769 --> 00:28:37.829
one where it's just these two preteens. And they're

00:28:37.829 --> 00:28:40.289
flirting, and the guy has just Skittles pimples

00:28:40.289 --> 00:28:44.750
all over his face. And that one grosses me out.

00:28:44.990 --> 00:28:47.349
Because it's a metaphor for STDs because she

00:28:47.349 --> 00:28:49.450
eats one of his Skittles off of his face and

00:28:49.450 --> 00:28:52.009
then all of a sudden her face is covered in Skittles.

00:28:52.089 --> 00:28:54.009
Oh, you didn't make that connection? I mean,

00:28:54.029 --> 00:28:56.789
I saw it more in a chicken pox way than an STD.

00:28:57.089 --> 00:29:00.069
Tomato potato. Tomato potato. Kids that age are

00:29:00.069 --> 00:29:03.289
more likely to pass around an STI than they are

00:29:03.289 --> 00:29:07.390
chicken pox. So. Yeah. Think about that. No,

00:29:07.450 --> 00:29:09.609
thank you. Actually, I'm good. Make sure you

00:29:09.609 --> 00:29:11.569
give your kids the talk. Make sure you give your

00:29:11.569 --> 00:29:13.589
kids the talk. Herpes doesn't go away from what

00:29:13.589 --> 00:29:15.630
I've heard. Or so I've been told. Yeah, that

00:29:15.630 --> 00:29:18.750
is probably true. Speaking of, did you ever have,

00:29:18.849 --> 00:29:22.329
I think about this more than I ever, ever should.

00:29:22.869 --> 00:29:25.690
Did you have health class shared or was it split

00:29:25.690 --> 00:29:28.190
between boys and girls? So we had one health

00:29:28.190 --> 00:29:31.309
class and it was specific to what we ate. It

00:29:31.309 --> 00:29:34.349
had nothing to do with sex. We watched Super

00:29:34.349 --> 00:29:37.049
Size Me three years in a row. Oh, interesting.

00:29:37.210 --> 00:29:40.849
That nonsense documentary. That was also Adam

00:29:40.849 --> 00:29:43.029
Conover and just very cherry picked information.

00:29:43.740 --> 00:29:46.099
I mean, I don't think that you should be eating.

00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:48.579
Like the message was there, whether or not the

00:29:48.579 --> 00:29:51.960
execution. The data was. Done properly. Yeah.

00:29:52.099 --> 00:29:57.400
Yeah. No. So we had joint health class and we

00:29:57.400 --> 00:29:59.920
did the usual. I mean, we did the, oh, this is

00:29:59.920 --> 00:30:02.220
a live birth from the hairiest woman you've ever

00:30:02.220 --> 00:30:04.980
seen. And one thing. She can't shave down there.

00:30:05.220 --> 00:30:10.619
Your arms don't. That I remember is that the.

00:30:11.480 --> 00:30:15.140
female and sweet little old lady, probably early

00:30:15.140 --> 00:30:19.559
60s, telling us without any hesitation and without

00:30:19.559 --> 00:30:26.380
any doubt that boys cannot pee with an erection.

00:30:26.539 --> 00:30:30.200
And that is just false. And I don't know how

00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:32.539
many other schools this information has been

00:30:32.539 --> 00:30:35.839
passed along to, but I want to make it my life's

00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:38.400
mission to let people know that that is wrong.

00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:43.150
It's just not true. is a weird hill to die on

00:30:43.150 --> 00:30:45.710
and it is it i don't know why it stuck with me

00:30:45.710 --> 00:30:48.529
i guess because it was so just obviously wrong

00:30:48.529 --> 00:30:50.630
so you just call everything into question i've

00:30:50.630 --> 00:30:52.690
just i think i thought about it all the time

00:30:52.690 --> 00:30:54.450
like what else did they teach us that wasn't

00:30:54.450 --> 00:30:57.910
true that was so obviously true untrue so easily

00:30:57.910 --> 00:31:00.890
disproven like did saddam have weapons of mass

00:31:00.890 --> 00:31:03.789
destruction i don't know anymore i don't know

00:31:03.789 --> 00:31:06.809
you can't do that to some some little eighth

00:31:06.809 --> 00:31:11.109
grader Something a little less intense. We had

00:31:11.109 --> 00:31:14.769
a single class. It was our gym teacher, not part

00:31:14.769 --> 00:31:18.069
of our health class. But I think they or no,

00:31:18.130 --> 00:31:19.529
it was a year that we didn't have health class.

00:31:19.630 --> 00:31:21.849
And so it was just our gym teacher being like,

00:31:21.930 --> 00:31:26.869
hey, so do you guys have any questions? Didn't

00:31:26.869 --> 00:31:29.250
teach us anything. Didn't learn anything. I don't

00:31:29.250 --> 00:31:31.910
think there were many questions. When two men

00:31:31.910 --> 00:31:34.890
make love, which penis opens up to receive the

00:31:34.890 --> 00:31:39.220
other penis? All right, Dwight. Have you seen

00:31:39.220 --> 00:31:43.220
the trailers for the new Office? It looks awful.

00:31:43.220 --> 00:31:47.119
Holy moly. That's going to be a soon episode

00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:51.880
because on our list, we had reboots and just

00:31:51.880 --> 00:31:57.119
letting stuff die as a topic. And it was based

00:31:57.119 --> 00:32:00.920
around whenever they announced the Office spinoff.

00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:03.680
So I haven't seen it. No, I've actively avoided

00:32:03.680 --> 00:32:06.480
it. It's bad. It feels like what they're going

00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.279
to do with it because it's supposed to be like

00:32:08.279 --> 00:32:10.019
a newspaper. It feels like what they're going

00:32:10.019 --> 00:32:12.200
to do with it is just turn it into like a day

00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:14.859
in the life at BuzzFeed. And I could not tell

00:32:14.859 --> 00:32:17.500
you a person who would want to watch that. I

00:32:17.500 --> 00:32:19.420
don't even know if BuzzFeed still exists. I saw

00:32:19.420 --> 00:32:23.880
I saw the cover or I saw the poster, whatever

00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:26.779
little flash on the screen on Peacock for it.

00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:30.779
And I it upsets me that Oscar is in it. He's

00:32:30.779 --> 00:32:33.440
as far as I know, he's the only returning cast

00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:36.140
member. But like, come on, man. I think one of

00:32:36.140 --> 00:32:38.539
the other like auxiliary people comes back or

00:32:38.539 --> 00:32:39.680
at least they're going to have like a bunch of

00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:42.920
cameos. I'm pretty sure maybe like Angela, Kevin,

00:32:43.079 --> 00:32:45.940
Stanley, like one of them is is also involved

00:32:45.940 --> 00:32:50.640
in it. Yeah, I saw an article yesterday about

00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:53.480
how Daniel Radcliffe was asked if he was going

00:32:53.480 --> 00:32:55.700
to be part of this new Harry Potter series. And

00:32:55.700 --> 00:32:59.359
he said no. He said, no, I'm excited to pass

00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:01.079
the torch. I don't think I need to physically

00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:03.680
be there for that. Good for him. Good for him.

00:33:03.700 --> 00:33:05.900
Between that and Weird the Al Yankovic story,

00:33:06.099 --> 00:33:08.200
he's gone up some points in my book. Did you

00:33:08.200 --> 00:33:09.700
ever watch any of the other stuff that he did

00:33:09.700 --> 00:33:13.259
in the space between Harry Potter and Weird the

00:33:13.259 --> 00:33:16.880
Al Yankovic story? He was in that terrible sequel

00:33:16.880 --> 00:33:19.839
to Now You See Me. He was, which for some reason

00:33:19.839 --> 00:33:22.990
was not Now You Don't. No, the third one is Now

00:33:22.990 --> 00:33:25.349
You Don't. Yeah. That's stupid. Missed opportunity.

00:33:25.549 --> 00:33:28.009
Just like Fast 10 should have been called Fast

00:33:28.009 --> 00:33:31.069
10 Your Seatbelts. But no, he's impossible to

00:33:31.069 --> 00:33:34.170
take serious as a villain because he's like 5

00:33:34.170 --> 00:33:37.450
'2". And so everyone's towering over him. Also,

00:33:37.809 --> 00:33:40.829
The Woman in Black wasn't too bad. It was a horror

00:33:40.829 --> 00:33:43.529
movie. Did you ever watch Swiss Army Man? I've

00:33:43.529 --> 00:33:45.670
seen clips. I've seen enough clips that I don't

00:33:45.670 --> 00:33:47.509
need to see the movie. It is one of the most

00:33:47.509 --> 00:33:50.329
bizarre films I have seen. I think, in my entire

00:33:50.329 --> 00:33:53.829
life. And I do recommend it. It's dumb as hell,

00:33:53.890 --> 00:33:57.089
but it is worth the watch. Yeah, I'm actually

00:33:57.089 --> 00:34:01.910
flying out tonight for the Windy City, Chi -Town,

00:34:02.029 --> 00:34:06.309
home of Yeezus. And I was looking for something

00:34:06.309 --> 00:34:10.590
to download to watch on the flight. And the Lonely

00:34:10.590 --> 00:34:12.889
Island Replacement guys, the Please Don't Destroy,

00:34:13.090 --> 00:34:16.170
they have a movie that I'm excited to watch.

00:34:16.389 --> 00:34:18.889
Terrible rating. What movie is that? On the tomato

00:34:18.889 --> 00:34:21.210
meter. The Treasure of Foggy Mountain. Oh, never

00:34:21.210 --> 00:34:23.489
mind. Haven't heard of that. Yeah. It looks good.

00:34:23.550 --> 00:34:26.789
I mean, I like those guys. You know the short

00:34:26.789 --> 00:34:31.389
guy? Which SNL guy? Have you watched SNL recently?

00:34:32.190 --> 00:34:36.309
Relatively recently, yeah. They do like the new

00:34:36.309 --> 00:34:39.789
digital shorts. Okay. There are three writers.

00:34:39.889 --> 00:34:42.050
I think you would have seen them in other stuff.

00:34:42.150 --> 00:34:46.489
One of them is Jimmy Fallon's Paul Schaefer,

00:34:46.610 --> 00:34:49.610
like his sidekick, Higgins something. Yeah, his

00:34:49.610 --> 00:34:52.329
son is one of the people in it. And then the

00:34:52.329 --> 00:34:54.289
other one, there's another one that I think is

00:34:54.289 --> 00:34:58.630
also like a writer, like a son of a writer. They

00:34:58.630 --> 00:35:03.949
did a whole Nepo Baby skit with our favorite

00:35:03.949 --> 00:35:06.969
Nepo Baby. Dakota Johnson. Dakota Johnson. Yeah.

00:35:07.289 --> 00:35:09.250
Then they also did one with Bad Bunny where he

00:35:09.250 --> 00:35:13.010
really wanted to do a Shrek skit and he got himself

00:35:13.010 --> 00:35:16.409
Shrekified. Yeah, those guys. Yeah, I'll let

00:35:16.409 --> 00:35:17.969
you know. I'll let you know how it turns out

00:35:17.969 --> 00:35:20.190
and if it's worth the watch. It's currently got

00:35:20.190 --> 00:35:24.550
a 42 on Rotten Tomatoes. 89 with audiences, though.

00:35:24.670 --> 00:35:26.409
That is actually not that bad. One of the critics

00:35:26.409 --> 00:35:28.730
really know. Exactly. It's not for them. Got

00:35:28.730 --> 00:35:31.389
a B plus by the audience. The true fans. The

00:35:31.389 --> 00:35:33.429
true fans. All right. So the next thing that

00:35:33.429 --> 00:35:36.150
I have is I had Subway a little bit later on

00:35:36.150 --> 00:35:38.170
in my notes because I wanted to tie it back into

00:35:38.170 --> 00:35:41.929
how much I miss jingles. I wanted to tie it back

00:35:41.929 --> 00:35:45.130
into how much I love jingles. And alongside the

00:35:45.130 --> 00:35:48.949
$5 footlong, you have some earworms that I think

00:35:48.949 --> 00:35:51.269
have stuck around despite I think the majority

00:35:51.269 --> 00:35:53.650
of these companies no longer existing. Ooh, can

00:35:53.650 --> 00:35:55.809
I guess them? Can you just give me the company?

00:35:55.969 --> 00:35:57.750
I'll see if I can guess them. Education Connection.

00:36:00.210 --> 00:36:02.739
Start now with maybe too hard one. Yeah, I can't.

00:36:02.780 --> 00:36:08.039
I don't know that one. It was just a lady in

00:36:08.039 --> 00:36:10.480
front of like an orange screen. It was like one

00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:12.820
of the late night ads. Vaguely ringing a bell.

00:36:13.519 --> 00:36:16.320
Okay, well, let's go with JG Wentworth then.

00:36:16.500 --> 00:36:19.679
I have a structured settlement, but I need cash

00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:25.500
now. Call JG Wentworth. 877 -CASH -NOW. Exactly.

00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:28.619
See? Like, I don't know what an annuity is. I

00:36:28.619 --> 00:36:30.360
don't have a structured settlement, nor do I

00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:33.010
know what that is. But I do know if I have one

00:36:33.010 --> 00:36:34.969
of those things. Let's see if I can hit this

00:36:34.969 --> 00:36:39.909
one. I have a structured settlement, but I need

00:36:39.909 --> 00:36:46.050
cash now. Call J .J. Wentworth. 877 -CASH -NOW.

00:36:47.489 --> 00:36:51.610
That was the opera version. With the lady in

00:36:51.610 --> 00:37:00.170
the horned hat. My personal favorite of the jingles.

00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:03.079
or the musical commercials, is FreeCreditReport

00:37:03.079 --> 00:37:07.619
.com. F -R -E -E, that spells FreeCreditReport

00:37:07.619 --> 00:37:11.519
.com, baby. Hold on, I gotta get the lyrics to

00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:14.820
the rest of it before it gets to the chorus.

00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:18.559
The Free Credit Report one? Yeah. Shopping for

00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:21.420
a new car, which one's me? A used convertible

00:37:21.420 --> 00:37:24.840
or an SUV? Too bad I didn't know my credit was

00:37:24.840 --> 00:37:27.679
whack. Now I'm driving off the lot and it used

00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:36.019
subcompact. F -R -E -E, that spells freecreditreport

00:37:36.019 --> 00:37:43.639
.com, baby. The one that hits a little too close

00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:45.960
to home is where he's the pirate in a restaurant.

00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:53.679
You haven't hit that level yet. At least you

00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:56.719
know that rock bottom isn't where you are. There's

00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:59.260
always further to fall. That's genuinely incredible.

00:37:59.559 --> 00:38:04.340
So genius .com, the lyrics website that goes

00:38:04.340 --> 00:38:06.920
like into the breakdown of what lyrics mean as

00:38:06.920 --> 00:38:09.699
all of the free credit report .com commercials,

00:38:09.780 --> 00:38:12.980
you can break down any of the lyrics to them.

00:38:13.039 --> 00:38:15.840
And I know what I'm doing as soon as this episode's

00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:17.440
over because there are a lot more of them than

00:38:17.440 --> 00:38:20.230
I thought there were. Now, instead of looking

00:38:20.230 --> 00:38:21.969
fly and rolling fat, my legs are sticking to

00:38:21.969 --> 00:38:23.590
the vinyl and my posse is getting laughed at.

00:38:24.429 --> 00:38:31.190
Awesome. Absolute peak television. Oh, man. That's

00:38:31.190 --> 00:38:33.809
what I want to come back. I would watch every

00:38:33.809 --> 00:38:37.510
ad break in a TV show if it was just nonsense

00:38:37.510 --> 00:38:40.570
like that. I agree. What if they became Credit

00:38:40.570 --> 00:38:43.010
Karma? They just like upgraded. Now they don't

00:38:43.010 --> 00:38:45.530
need the ads anymore. Now they don't need to.

00:38:46.230 --> 00:38:50.500
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think that we, as a society,

00:38:50.619 --> 00:38:55.380
have shifted away from the ad jingle, and it's

00:38:55.380 --> 00:38:59.719
no bueno, man. I don't remember the actual music

00:38:59.719 --> 00:39:03.579
behind the pirate in a restaurant commercial

00:39:03.579 --> 00:39:07.159
for Free Credit Report. Do you? Like, I have

00:39:07.159 --> 00:39:08.840
the lyrics in front of me, but I don't remember

00:39:08.840 --> 00:39:11.900
the backing. I don't either. I'd love to be able

00:39:11.900 --> 00:39:12.800
to play it, but... They say a man should always

00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:15.239
dress for the job he wants. Why am I dressed

00:39:15.239 --> 00:39:17.489
up like a pirate in this restaurant? Nevermind.

00:39:17.510 --> 00:39:19.650
I do remember it. Break us off a little piece.

00:39:20.150 --> 00:39:23.630
Should have gone to free credit report .com.

00:39:23.750 --> 00:39:26.429
I could have seen this coming at me like an atom

00:39:26.429 --> 00:39:29.130
bomb. They monitor your credit and send you email

00:39:29.130 --> 00:39:32.030
alerts. So you don't end up selling fish to Taurus

00:39:32.030 --> 00:39:40.329
in t -shirts. That will stick with me for life.

00:39:40.650 --> 00:39:44.090
Like it's already, it's in there. Peak. This

00:39:44.090 --> 00:39:48.780
is a. I think free credit report is the best

00:39:48.780 --> 00:39:53.300
ads, hands down. We were, so I've been trying

00:39:53.300 --> 00:39:57.800
to enrich my children with some music from my

00:39:57.800 --> 00:40:04.639
past. Yesterday, just on Shuffle, Sick Him on

00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:08.639
a Chicken from Zac Brown Band. Okay. If you've

00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:11.079
never heard it, check it out. Was that a targeted

00:40:11.079 --> 00:40:16.869
attack on your daughter? No. No. Two separate

00:40:16.869 --> 00:40:21.130
things, slightly related, not correlated. Anyways,

00:40:21.369 --> 00:40:25.070
Sigmund Sigmund came on, and it's the earwormiest

00:40:25.070 --> 00:40:29.210
song that you could ever hear. And so today,

00:40:29.369 --> 00:40:31.809
when we were in the car, they wanted to hear

00:40:31.809 --> 00:40:34.849
it. And I said, you know what? The Foundation,

00:40:35.309 --> 00:40:38.429
I think it was, it may have been the debut album

00:40:38.429 --> 00:40:42.650
of the Zac Brown band, was very instrumental

00:40:42.650 --> 00:40:49.730
growing up. high school for me. And it is also

00:40:49.730 --> 00:40:52.030
the album that has the song Chicken Fried on

00:40:52.030 --> 00:40:54.789
it. That's the next one we listened to. They

00:40:54.789 --> 00:40:57.449
knew of it. They didn't know much about it. I

00:40:57.449 --> 00:41:02.110
realized, and I said my thought out loud, that

00:41:02.110 --> 00:41:06.489
there are a lot of chicken -based songs on this

00:41:06.489 --> 00:41:11.739
album. And so we go to the next song, Mary. which

00:41:11.739 --> 00:41:15.280
is a song about a woman named Mary breaking his

00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:19.920
heart. And my son asked me if Mary was a chicken.

00:41:21.659 --> 00:41:25.119
And I realized that he never says that she is

00:41:25.119 --> 00:41:28.360
a human or that she is not a chicken. So I don't

00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:32.239
know if, for whatever reason, Zac Brown went

00:41:32.239 --> 00:41:36.099
through a period to where he was very infatuated

00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:38.849
with a chicken, especially one named Mary. Is

00:41:38.849 --> 00:41:41.590
this just like Nikola Tesla and Henrietta all

00:41:41.590 --> 00:41:44.969
over again? It might be. It might be. But give

00:41:44.969 --> 00:41:48.190
the album a listen. And the whole time you're

00:41:48.190 --> 00:41:51.010
listening to it, look at it from the perspective

00:41:51.010 --> 00:41:54.230
of a chicken. Completely new album. You know,

00:41:54.329 --> 00:41:58.409
now that you mention it, I don't know that I

00:41:58.409 --> 00:42:01.730
know a song. I think there's a lot of songs that

00:42:01.730 --> 00:42:04.070
don't specify that their love interest is human.

00:42:04.110 --> 00:42:08.030
So you can kind of wildly speculate. that most

00:42:08.030 --> 00:42:10.829
love songs are written about chickens. Maybe.

00:42:11.329 --> 00:42:14.090
That doesn't do much for Cooper's electoral phobia,

00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:18.750
but... To be fair, someone sicked the chicken

00:42:18.750 --> 00:42:22.610
on her. The chicken sicked itself on her. Yeah.

00:42:24.809 --> 00:42:27.869
Such a great video. It is. If there is a way

00:42:27.869 --> 00:42:31.389
for me to just paste a smiley face over her face,

00:42:31.630 --> 00:42:33.929
I would definitely post it. I mean, there is,

00:42:33.989 --> 00:42:35.969
but I wouldn't go with a smiley face because

00:42:35.969 --> 00:42:38.139
people are getting... big suit for that right

00:42:38.139 --> 00:42:42.099
now for a smiley face did you know uh on today's

00:42:42.099 --> 00:42:44.559
episode of i spend way too much time on the internet

00:42:44.559 --> 00:42:47.000
um this is a thing from a little while back but

00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:51.719
the smiley face is copyrighted trademark one

00:42:51.719 --> 00:42:54.920
of those two things um so if you use the smiley

00:42:54.920 --> 00:42:59.679
face you can get suit and get your items that

00:42:59.679 --> 00:43:03.059
you are selling with that on it taken out By

00:43:03.059 --> 00:43:06.519
the guy that they always, like, whenever there's

00:43:06.519 --> 00:43:09.960
an anniversary of Forrest Gump, whenever they

00:43:09.960 --> 00:43:11.280
do interviews with that guy, is that the guy?

00:43:11.519 --> 00:43:13.780
What? There's a guy. Like, you know how they

00:43:13.780 --> 00:43:16.599
did the smiley face in Forrest Gump? They had

00:43:16.599 --> 00:43:18.179
to pay for that. I don't know what you're talking

00:43:18.179 --> 00:43:19.599
about. You don't know about the smiley face?

00:43:19.960 --> 00:43:24.099
That he puts on his shirt? No. In mud? Oh. Well.

00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:26.099
It's been a very long time since I've seen Forrest

00:43:26.099 --> 00:43:28.900
Gump. It is one of my good friend's favorite

00:43:28.900 --> 00:43:31.519
movies, which blows my mind. Have you, did you

00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:33.429
know there's a book? That it's based on? Harvey

00:43:33.429 --> 00:43:35.809
Ball. Yes. Yeah, I knew it was a book. Harvey

00:43:35.809 --> 00:43:38.429
Ball is the smiley face guy? Smiley face creator.

00:43:38.650 --> 00:43:41.829
The smiley company. Yeah, they're the ones that

00:43:41.829 --> 00:43:44.929
are suing a bunch of one -off Etsy shops and

00:43:44.929 --> 00:43:48.909
creators that will use hashtag smiley. They get

00:43:48.909 --> 00:43:54.809
sued into oblivion. Hmm. Which feels both very

00:43:54.809 --> 00:43:57.869
on brand for whatever timeline shift we are currently

00:43:57.869 --> 00:44:00.940
in and also... Pretty messed up that the Smiley

00:44:00.940 --> 00:44:02.980
Face Company is the one that's suing all of these

00:44:02.980 --> 00:44:04.500
people who are just trying to put their art out

00:44:04.500 --> 00:44:06.800
there. It's not very smiley of him. Not very

00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:08.619
smiley of him. You want to know my next one?

00:44:08.739 --> 00:44:12.300
Go for it. Have you ever drank a can of liquid

00:44:12.300 --> 00:44:15.760
death? Yes. I personally do not care for them,

00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:18.420
largely because the only time I've ever had a

00:44:18.420 --> 00:44:21.460
liquid death is when I am in a concert venue

00:44:21.460 --> 00:44:24.280
and have had to spend entirely too much water

00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:29.659
or too much money on edgy branded water. Paying

00:44:29.659 --> 00:44:34.599
$7 for a can of water is insanity. It is. It

00:44:34.599 --> 00:44:37.559
is. But hey, they got you by the balls once you're

00:44:37.559 --> 00:44:40.659
in the doors. They do. And again, I can respect

00:44:40.659 --> 00:44:43.619
the hustle, but I still hate them. That said,

00:44:43.820 --> 00:44:46.159
their marketing is really interesting because

00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:51.219
the focus for Liquid Death is influencer sponsorships,

00:44:51.219 --> 00:44:54.219
really influencer partnerships. And so they have

00:44:54.219 --> 00:44:58.519
created such things as Body by Burt. which is

00:44:58.519 --> 00:45:04.500
a Burt Kreischer workout VHS tape for those who

00:45:04.500 --> 00:45:07.340
are blissfully uninitiated when it comes to Burt

00:45:07.340 --> 00:45:10.840
Kreischer. He has got the biggest of beer guts.

00:45:11.099 --> 00:45:15.360
He is probably not a person you would want to

00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:20.260
copy fitness health -wise. No, that's his whole

00:45:20.260 --> 00:45:25.139
shtick is shirtless when he does his stand -up.

00:45:25.139 --> 00:45:28.059
Man, it's just popping out the whole time. He

00:45:28.059 --> 00:45:32.079
is also because I am in deep on the side of the

00:45:32.079 --> 00:45:34.480
Internet that Bert Kreischer is on because Nate

00:45:34.480 --> 00:45:37.780
is a big like podcast listener, big like stand

00:45:37.780 --> 00:45:41.199
up comedian fan, that kind of thing. And so I've

00:45:41.199 --> 00:45:44.719
been involved in some of the the drama that's

00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:48.599
going on with Bert Kreischer, all that group.

00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:51.679
Apparently, most people are not big fans of his.

00:45:51.880 --> 00:45:54.260
I've never really been a fan of Bert Kreischer.

00:45:54.420 --> 00:45:57.820
And it's no. it's not just the like that he just

00:45:57.820 --> 00:45:59.840
thinks it's the funniest thing in the entire

00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:01.619
world to take a shirt off when he does his routines.

00:46:01.780 --> 00:46:03.880
Cause like, sure. Do your, do your gimmick thing.

00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:08.340
If that's what you get remembered for. Uh, but

00:46:08.340 --> 00:46:11.579
my grievance with all of his standup or all of

00:46:11.579 --> 00:46:13.239
the like podcasts and stuff that I've listened

00:46:13.239 --> 00:46:15.199
to with him in it is that he laughs at his jokes

00:46:15.199 --> 00:46:17.880
more than anyone else does. We's laugh. There's

00:46:17.880 --> 00:46:22.960
a line between confidence and just abject narcissism.

00:46:23.219 --> 00:46:26.500
Relax. Let your audience take it the way they

00:46:26.500 --> 00:46:29.300
take it. Yes. Very difficult to watch or listen

00:46:29.300 --> 00:46:33.219
to. Impossible to do both. He has a new special

00:46:33.219 --> 00:46:35.039
that came out, I want to say it was last year,

00:46:35.079 --> 00:46:37.179
and he did the kind of humor that just always

00:46:37.179 --> 00:46:41.059
grosses me out, which is my wife is the old ball

00:46:41.059 --> 00:46:43.460
and chain kind of thing. You know no one is required

00:46:43.460 --> 00:46:45.940
to get married. You didn't have to have children.

00:46:46.420 --> 00:46:48.480
So I don't know why you're acting like it's a

00:46:48.480 --> 00:46:51.039
burden that these people are in your life. Yeah.

00:46:51.369 --> 00:46:55.010
Like, it's gross. No, he'll tell a story about

00:46:55.010 --> 00:46:59.650
how he just got completely wasted in Vegas. And

00:46:59.650 --> 00:47:01.510
his wife was calling him worried and all this

00:47:01.510 --> 00:47:03.030
other stuff. And he's just laughing it off like,

00:47:03.090 --> 00:47:06.170
oh, stupid. What an idiot for worrying about

00:47:06.170 --> 00:47:10.349
me and all this stuff. And it just, no, not my

00:47:10.349 --> 00:47:15.969
cup of tea. Not a fan. But, no, the, what is

00:47:15.969 --> 00:47:18.909
it? Squeeze to death? The orange flavored liquid

00:47:18.909 --> 00:47:23.170
death? Big fan. Whatever the lime, severed lime.

00:47:23.429 --> 00:47:25.789
That's another good one. Okay. Good sparkling

00:47:25.789 --> 00:47:27.969
waters. I think I've had severed lime. I tried

00:47:27.969 --> 00:47:31.269
the flat water and just like, what's the point?

00:47:31.550 --> 00:47:33.329
I think that might be my grievance with them.

00:47:33.409 --> 00:47:35.409
I don't like their flat water. Yeah. Like if

00:47:35.409 --> 00:47:38.849
you're going to market yourself as a water brand,

00:47:38.949 --> 00:47:42.349
either market yourself as just like water or

00:47:42.349 --> 00:47:45.130
sparkling water. Why do you have a flat line?

00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:47.460
Why do you have a line of flat except to sell

00:47:47.460 --> 00:47:50.079
it like concerts and stuff for way too much money?

00:47:50.179 --> 00:47:52.380
I do. I do kind of like their branding because

00:47:52.380 --> 00:47:54.539
I think they're like their art is really cool.

00:47:54.679 --> 00:47:57.239
They also have the Armless Palmer, which I think

00:47:57.239 --> 00:47:59.019
is a very fun name. I'm pretty sure they got

00:47:59.019 --> 00:48:03.599
sued for that. But it is a I think it's a. It's

00:48:03.599 --> 00:48:05.460
a it's a fun brand. I'm just annoyed that it

00:48:05.460 --> 00:48:07.960
costs so much. I think that's right. Yeah, I

00:48:07.960 --> 00:48:09.579
think there was something that came out a couple

00:48:09.579 --> 00:48:14.019
of years ago about being satanic adjacent and.

00:48:14.440 --> 00:48:17.699
all that uh i think that that was a marketing

00:48:17.699 --> 00:48:20.659
ploy by them and i mean it definitely worked

00:48:20.659 --> 00:48:22.079
because they're they're in stores all over the

00:48:22.079 --> 00:48:25.219
place yeah i do also believe that it was a uh

00:48:25.219 --> 00:48:27.800
marketing effort on their own part when it comes

00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:29.980
to what you're drinking right now which is monster

00:48:29.980 --> 00:48:33.000
energy the mark of the beast yeah have you seen

00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:35.500
that video of that woman going crazy i have yes

00:48:35.500 --> 00:48:37.639
with her like trifold poster like she's at a

00:48:37.639 --> 00:48:41.050
science fair yeah With each one of these marks

00:48:41.050 --> 00:48:43.989
is like a six, so it's 666, and it's the mark

00:48:43.989 --> 00:48:46.510
of the beast, and it's, yeah. Also did wonders

00:48:46.510 --> 00:48:48.889
for their marketing. Yeah. I believe she may

00:48:48.889 --> 00:48:51.210
have been a plant in the same way that the Sonic

00:48:51.210 --> 00:48:54.369
the Hedgehog original design was a marketing

00:48:54.369 --> 00:48:56.389
tactic. The way to human version? Yes. Yeah.

00:48:56.489 --> 00:48:58.949
Marketing tactic, 100%. Yeah. We should know.

00:48:59.050 --> 00:49:00.949
We're both marketing majors. Yeah. We're both

00:49:00.949 --> 00:49:03.710
marketing grads. Yep. That's a conversation that

00:49:03.710 --> 00:49:05.269
I think I have too much. About what? It's so

00:49:05.269 --> 00:49:07.809
interesting to me, the Sonic the Hedgehog thing.

00:49:07.989 --> 00:49:10.159
Yeah. That like Sonic the Hedgehog, whenever

00:49:10.159 --> 00:49:12.739
the movie was originally to be released, they

00:49:12.739 --> 00:49:15.800
released a trailer and Sonic looks horrifying.

00:49:16.300 --> 00:49:19.179
Human eyes, human teeth. Terrible, terrible choice.

00:49:19.320 --> 00:49:21.579
Giant hedgehog. Yeah. Those things, they just

00:49:21.579 --> 00:49:23.780
do not mix. The internet did what the internet

00:49:23.780 --> 00:49:26.519
does and came out and we're just like, hey man,

00:49:26.659 --> 00:49:28.940
what are you doing? And so they went so hard.

00:49:29.119 --> 00:49:31.380
The internet played right into Paramount's hands.

00:49:31.800 --> 00:49:34.980
They did. Absolutely. They went so hard at Paramount

00:49:34.980 --> 00:49:38.110
and we're like, what is this design? No one greenlit

00:49:38.110 --> 00:49:41.309
this. Then Paramount listened to their fans and

00:49:41.309 --> 00:49:44.190
were like, OK, well, let's make him look a little

00:49:44.190 --> 00:49:47.369
less Uncanny Valley. Redesigned him. And now

00:49:47.369 --> 00:49:49.989
we have the Sonic the Hedgehog that we all know

00:49:49.989 --> 00:49:53.329
and love. It's like when it had the opposite

00:49:53.329 --> 00:49:57.190
effect of its Morbin time and Morbius came out

00:49:57.190 --> 00:49:59.889
in theaters and it did such bad numbers. They

00:49:59.889 --> 00:50:02.440
pulled it after like a week and a half. And then

00:50:02.440 --> 00:50:05.539
there was an online campaign to bring Morbius

00:50:05.539 --> 00:50:07.719
back into theaters because we promised this time

00:50:07.719 --> 00:50:10.159
we'll watch it. We heard so many good things

00:50:10.159 --> 00:50:11.820
about it. Now we can't watch it. And then they

00:50:11.820 --> 00:50:14.059
bring it back and then no one watched it. That

00:50:14.059 --> 00:50:17.219
was A, not a great character for a full runtime

00:50:17.219 --> 00:50:23.159
movie. No. B, Jared Leto sucks. Yeah. I did get

00:50:23.159 --> 00:50:25.820
told decently often when I was younger that I

00:50:25.820 --> 00:50:27.719
looked like Jared Leto. So I also might be biased

00:50:27.719 --> 00:50:30.849
in the situation. because I think he's trash.

00:50:31.110 --> 00:50:32.829
But I also think he's trash because of all the

00:50:32.829 --> 00:50:34.630
stuff that went on behind the scenes with Suicide

00:50:34.630 --> 00:50:37.489
Squad and the fact that he maybe runs a 30 seconds

00:50:37.489 --> 00:50:40.269
to Mars cult, which is an insane statement. The

00:50:40.269 --> 00:50:42.650
vibes are rancid. Do not enjoy Jared Leto's presence.

00:50:43.570 --> 00:50:46.769
One of my favorite lines from Popstar, never

00:50:46.769 --> 00:50:50.809
stop, never stopping, is whenever Connor for

00:50:50.809 --> 00:50:54.489
real gets told that he needs to, I think it's,

00:50:54.489 --> 00:50:56.550
I don't remember the exact scenario, but the

00:50:56.550 --> 00:51:01.170
guy that's trying to. unseat him as the the pop

00:51:01.170 --> 00:51:03.469
idol of the day uh it says he's just going to

00:51:03.469 --> 00:51:05.969
be 10 more seconds up there and then connor for

00:51:05.969 --> 00:51:08.050
real says that's like a third of the way to mars

00:51:08.050 --> 00:51:11.789
he says connor we've talked about this 30 seconds

00:51:11.789 --> 00:51:14.050
to mars is a band it's not a unit of measurement

00:51:14.050 --> 00:51:20.329
i may hate jared leto but i think i might start

00:51:20.329 --> 00:51:25.110
using that as a unit of measurement This ad is

00:51:25.110 --> 00:51:31.110
the whole way to Mars. All right. So liquid death.

00:51:31.590 --> 00:51:34.869
Ad body by Burt with Burt Kreischer's VHS workout

00:51:34.869 --> 00:51:37.829
video. Travis Parker's enema of the state. Hell

00:51:37.829 --> 00:51:41.789
of a choice also. Did he get an enema live on

00:51:41.789 --> 00:51:44.369
TV? You know, not as far as I know. Was Al Roker

00:51:44.369 --> 00:51:46.989
the one that got a prostate exam on live TV?

00:51:47.170 --> 00:51:50.789
I thought Katie Couric got a colonoscopy. Colonoscopy.

00:51:50.869 --> 00:51:54.230
Yes. That sounds more like the truth. I believe

00:51:54.230 --> 00:51:56.090
that to be the case because I think a prostate

00:51:56.090 --> 00:51:59.809
exam on TV might be a different piece. Prostate

00:51:59.809 --> 00:52:03.510
exam for Katie Couric is... Well, obviously not

00:52:03.510 --> 00:52:05.710
for Katie Couric. That would be recreational.

00:52:05.969 --> 00:52:08.530
That wouldn't be scientific. Sure. And just like

00:52:08.530 --> 00:52:15.309
that, we're all back in health back. So enema

00:52:15.309 --> 00:52:18.030
of the state. Steve -O had a voodoo doll. Were

00:52:18.030 --> 00:52:21.610
Mark and Tom not part of the marketing campaign

00:52:21.610 --> 00:52:23.849
for that? Was it just Travis? I believe it was

00:52:23.849 --> 00:52:27.329
just Travis. Wow. Come on, Travi. I was trying

00:52:27.329 --> 00:52:30.210
to do some quick math and divide blink 182 into

00:52:30.210 --> 00:52:36.130
three. 60 and a half. The other 121 blinks were

00:52:36.130 --> 00:52:39.329
not present. There's a lot of band names that

00:52:39.329 --> 00:52:42.369
you could use as units of measurement now. Oh,

00:52:42.369 --> 00:52:46.889
my. It's 60 .66. The mark of the beast with a

00:52:46.889 --> 00:52:49.530
zero in between. What are you trying to tell

00:52:49.530 --> 00:52:53.699
us, Travis? Spill it. Mr. Kardashian. Is he still

00:52:53.699 --> 00:52:56.920
associated with them? I don't. They're still

00:52:56.920 --> 00:52:59.280
married. I'm not keeping up with the Kardashians.

00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:02.199
Oh yeah, because didn't she announce that she

00:53:02.199 --> 00:53:03.760
was pregnant or something at one of their shows?

00:53:04.079 --> 00:53:06.880
Yes. What do you mean shame? No, I don't watch

00:53:06.880 --> 00:53:09.119
it either. The last one I had for Liquid Death

00:53:09.119 --> 00:53:12.199
was Martha Stewart's dismembered body candle.

00:53:12.679 --> 00:53:17.280
She has an interesting trajectory. She has an

00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:19.880
interesting trajectory, yeah. She does. I think

00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:23.360
her friendship with Snoop is fascinating. How

00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:25.699
many of our listeners do you think remember Kmart?

00:53:25.860 --> 00:53:28.239
Do they have Kmarts in Guinea -Bissau? Did they

00:53:28.239 --> 00:53:30.599
have Kmarts in Guinea -Bissau? That's a good

00:53:30.599 --> 00:53:33.260
question. Angola? We'll have to ask our listeners.

00:53:33.699 --> 00:53:36.179
If you didn't know, we're huge in Guinea -Bissau

00:53:36.179 --> 00:53:39.780
and Angola. Yeah. We're taking Africa by storm.

00:53:39.940 --> 00:53:45.199
Oof. I mean, like, peacefully. I don't say it

00:53:45.199 --> 00:53:48.130
like that. With their cooperation. Yeah. No,

00:53:48.150 --> 00:53:53.570
we're popular. We're popular in those regions

00:53:53.570 --> 00:54:00.469
of Africa. We were watching Grown Ups 2 as a

00:54:00.469 --> 00:54:04.889
family. And there is a scene where they are in

00:54:04.889 --> 00:54:09.510
a Kmart. The crew gets out of the car in the

00:54:09.510 --> 00:54:12.849
parking lot and start walking in. And the middle

00:54:12.849 --> 00:54:17.750
child. sees the signage on the building and says,

00:54:17.869 --> 00:54:20.829
huh, Kmart. Is that supposed to be like a fake

00:54:20.829 --> 00:54:24.110
Walmart? And we did explain to her that Kmart

00:54:24.110 --> 00:54:26.809
was an actual store at one point. It did actually

00:54:26.809 --> 00:54:28.869
exist and it was not made up for this movie.

00:54:29.190 --> 00:54:32.210
There are still Kmarts, aren't there? I don't

00:54:32.210 --> 00:54:34.409
know. I know there's not one in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

00:54:34.670 --> 00:54:37.230
I can tell you that much. Yeah. They're now owned

00:54:37.230 --> 00:54:41.449
by Transformco. That doesn't sound dystopian

00:54:41.449 --> 00:54:44.980
at all. Like by and large from, uh, the pixar

00:54:44.980 --> 00:54:47.159
universe that is exactly what i was trying to

00:54:47.159 --> 00:54:49.320
think of i was gonna say the light year ago but

00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:52.159
that's not the same i was gonna say i was gonna

00:54:52.159 --> 00:54:54.659
ask you if your your kmart connection was going

00:54:54.659 --> 00:54:58.500
to be because of the um the kmart ad that was

00:54:58.500 --> 00:55:01.699
uh i think personally really funny and it was

00:55:01.699 --> 00:55:04.920
the i ship my pants commercials do you remember

00:55:04.920 --> 00:55:08.940
those i do now do you uh did you ever watch superstore

00:55:08.940 --> 00:55:11.840
yes uh so jeff sutton the one who's like the

00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:14.510
um district manager, I think for a while. Yeah,

00:55:14.570 --> 00:55:17.630
he's in those commercials. And the whole thing

00:55:17.630 --> 00:55:21.070
is talking about how Kmart will ship things through

00:55:21.070 --> 00:55:22.610
your door. You don't have to go into the brick

00:55:22.610 --> 00:55:25.769
and mortar. And so it's just them having this

00:55:25.769 --> 00:55:30.090
exuberant conversation about how great it is

00:55:30.090 --> 00:55:31.929
that you can ship your pants. You can ship your

00:55:31.929 --> 00:55:33.449
pants right from the store. You can ship your

00:55:33.449 --> 00:55:37.269
pants from your couch. Peak marketing. Peak marketing.

00:55:37.489 --> 00:55:44.619
They also promised big gas savings. All right.

00:55:44.679 --> 00:55:48.320
Do you have any other memorable ads that you

00:55:48.320 --> 00:55:50.699
want to throw into the mix before we close out

00:55:50.699 --> 00:55:56.659
for the day? Yeah, I mean, there's that classic

00:55:56.659 --> 00:56:01.719
one where it's a zoomed out shot on a winding

00:56:01.719 --> 00:56:07.079
country road. And this car is just winding through

00:56:07.079 --> 00:56:09.820
this little peaceful meadow. On this road. And

00:56:09.820 --> 00:56:11.880
then it goes behind some trees that are in the

00:56:11.880 --> 00:56:14.840
foreground. And then before, you're waiting for

00:56:14.840 --> 00:56:16.940
the car to pop out the other side of the trees.

00:56:17.099 --> 00:56:21.480
And then, boom. Cool face. Snaps onto your screen.

00:56:21.900 --> 00:56:24.519
Is that an ad? It was an ad. It was a car commercial

00:56:24.519 --> 00:56:28.940
ad. What? Yeah. Really? Yeah, it was like an

00:56:28.940 --> 00:56:31.880
actual thing. And I'm sure it led to a lot of

00:56:31.880 --> 00:56:35.519
people shatting their pantaloons. Shipping their

00:56:35.519 --> 00:56:40.500
pants? Yeah. Yeah, K -Fee car. Huh. It was a

00:56:40.500 --> 00:56:44.139
German commercial. For an energy drink. I mean.

00:56:44.260 --> 00:56:47.019
Oh. Oh, it wasn't for a car commercial. Yeah,

00:56:47.039 --> 00:56:49.639
canned coffee drinks. Nothing will wake you up.

00:56:49.679 --> 00:56:52.139
I like getting jump scares. So look up K -Fee.

00:56:52.199 --> 00:56:57.920
K -Fee commercial. And I'm sure you'll get a

00:56:57.920 --> 00:57:01.400
lot of memories flooding back to you. That is

00:57:01.400 --> 00:57:03.239
so interesting. I thought that that was just

00:57:03.239 --> 00:57:05.000
like one of the first things that popped up on

00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:07.460
YouTube. I thought that was what. In the same

00:57:07.460 --> 00:57:09.980
way like the maze game thing where like if you

00:57:09.980 --> 00:57:12.679
got to the end it would jump scare you? No. I

00:57:12.679 --> 00:57:14.079
thought it was one of those. It was an actual

00:57:14.079 --> 00:57:16.920
TV commercial that played on televisions and

00:57:16.920 --> 00:57:21.219
scared the living piss out of people. Interesting.

00:57:21.320 --> 00:57:24.579
Okay. But I guess closing out the last thing

00:57:24.579 --> 00:57:30.420
that I would want to bring up is local ads. Some

00:57:30.420 --> 00:57:33.360
of them are so unhinged. Because they know that

00:57:33.360 --> 00:57:35.159
they're only going out to the people like in

00:57:35.159 --> 00:57:37.179
their near area. So like you'll be watching like

00:57:37.179 --> 00:57:42.019
your CBS, ABC, NBC, Fox affiliate, and they'll

00:57:42.019 --> 00:57:46.079
have slots usually early afternoon, morning,

00:57:46.159 --> 00:57:49.019
or late at night on these channels. And it'll

00:57:49.019 --> 00:57:52.219
be for businesses that are close to you that

00:57:52.219 --> 00:57:56.440
sell locally. I know a lot of them are like cars,

00:57:56.559 --> 00:58:00.059
a lot of them are mattress stores, that kind

00:58:00.059 --> 00:58:03.769
of stuff. That's usually where you get, like,

00:58:03.829 --> 00:58:07.730
the jingles. Like, I think that's where most

00:58:07.730 --> 00:58:09.690
of the ad jingles are coming from these days.

00:58:09.730 --> 00:58:12.849
Like, I remember, shot me first, shot me last.

00:58:12.909 --> 00:58:14.769
Either way, come see Clay. That was the first

00:58:14.769 --> 00:58:17.590
thing that came to mind for me, too. For Clay

00:58:17.590 --> 00:58:23.690
Cooley. Yeah. Or there's a mortgage broker guy

00:58:23.690 --> 00:58:30.650
that is local to here that Kevin. something he

00:58:30.650 --> 00:58:33.190
always had some i don't know if he does tv ads

00:58:33.190 --> 00:58:36.889
anymore but he used to have some unhinged local

00:58:36.889 --> 00:58:41.869
spots but cherish them cherish those local local

00:58:41.869 --> 00:58:45.429
brands and their creativity or lack thereof i

00:58:45.429 --> 00:58:49.030
specific to texas whenever you were talking about

00:58:49.030 --> 00:58:51.550
local commercials the the first things that came

00:58:51.550 --> 00:58:55.809
up to mind were lawyers because oh yeah not in

00:58:55.809 --> 00:58:59.280
the commercial sense but like there's push and

00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:03.159
win but do the avocados at law yeah that are

00:59:03.159 --> 00:59:07.320
in like san antonio ish um san antonio houston

00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:10.780
yeah yeah if you think in just like the commercial

00:59:10.780 --> 00:59:13.920
sense you also have jim adler the texas hammer

00:59:13.920 --> 00:59:20.820
you had brian long i bite yeah uh you've got

00:59:20.820 --> 00:59:25.099
ryan the lion thompson his ads are not as yes

00:59:25.099 --> 00:59:29.539
not as big uh thomas j henry I know a problematic

00:59:29.539 --> 00:59:32.820
amount, I think, of lawyers in Texas because

00:59:32.820 --> 00:59:35.260
they're all just so gimmicky. And I'm so curious.

00:59:35.519 --> 00:59:37.800
They are. If you are a listener from anywhere

00:59:37.800 --> 00:59:40.300
besides Texas, please tell me what your state's

00:59:40.300 --> 00:59:43.179
lawyers look like. Do you also have weird giant

00:59:43.179 --> 00:59:46.920
ad campaigns for every defense attorney? I need

00:59:46.920 --> 00:59:50.960
to know. Especially the ones like Jim Adler.

00:59:51.659 --> 00:59:54.920
He'll be on top of a semi with a sledgehammer

00:59:54.920 --> 01:00:00.300
talking about how. he's gonna if you're hurt

01:00:00.300 --> 01:00:03.880
in a semi -accident he sues the pants off the

01:00:03.880 --> 01:00:06.239
the trucking companies we just need to bring

01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:09.480
back fun ads that is my my final takeaway if

01:00:09.480 --> 01:00:12.159
you are somewhere in advertising make us want

01:00:12.159 --> 01:00:14.679
to watch the ads again yeah we're gonna have

01:00:14.679 --> 01:00:16.599
to watch them anyways that's where it's all heading

01:00:16.599 --> 01:00:20.639
like uh seven dollars a month for all you can

01:00:20.639 --> 01:00:23.599
watch those those days are done because everything

01:00:23.599 --> 01:00:25.719
is getting so expensive it's not a sustainable

01:00:25.719 --> 01:00:27.889
model So if you're going to have to bring ads,

01:00:28.150 --> 01:00:30.849
make them ads that we want to see. And for the

01:00:30.849 --> 01:00:33.829
love of God, bring back jingles. Bring back jingles.

01:00:34.269 --> 01:00:36.590
Bring back the Charlie Harpers of the world.

01:00:36.969 --> 01:00:39.710
Yeah, two and a half man reference. Before it

01:00:39.710 --> 01:00:42.150
got ruined by Kutcher. There's only one jingle

01:00:42.150 --> 01:00:44.389
that I remember from that show. And it's for

01:00:44.389 --> 01:00:49.269
an anime called Oshikuru. Like Ninja? Yeah. Oh,

01:00:49.269 --> 01:00:52.969
oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru. I'm trying to remember

01:00:52.969 --> 01:00:56.869
the end of that. He's the one. He's the guy that

01:00:56.869 --> 01:00:59.150
had to die. Something about a demon samurai.

01:01:00.050 --> 01:01:02.090
All right. This will be our last lyric lookup.

01:01:02.670 --> 01:01:04.690
He's a demon samurai. Who's the guy who had to

01:01:04.690 --> 01:01:07.389
die? Oshikuru. Didn't have to look it up. Oshikuru.

01:01:07.630 --> 01:01:13.849
There we go. Yes. Bring back jingles. Bring back

01:01:13.849 --> 01:01:16.590
jingles. All right. And with that, I think we're

01:01:16.590 --> 01:01:19.070
out. We'll see you. Peace out, Girl Scouts.