Reptile dysfunction, real or not real? Five,
four, three, two, one, zero. Welcome to the show,
people. Welcome to the show. Eat my shorts. So
here is to conversation. Tranquility base here.
The Eagle has landed. Welcome to the Cash Exchange,
everyone. Hello out there from the podcast world.
To those of you listening, wondering if my co
-host has changed the timbre of his voice just
a little bit, this is Nate the Great, my guest
co -host for today. All right, do you want to
know what your three things for today are? Let's
do it. What do we got? All right, so your three
things for today are gas station hot dogs, the
moon, And Disney's Frozen. Hmm. Sounds like a
bad date night. Let's see. What could that be?
How is the moon involved in a bad date night?
Well, like if you're eating gas station hot dogs
under the moon while watching Frozen? Well, that
might be a pretty cool date night, I guess, if
you're one of those Disney adults. Hey, one of
the first times that we hung out, we watched
Frozen. So I'm going to need you to dial that
attitude back a little bit. It's fair. It's a
great movie. I wouldn't go that far. Well, gas
station hot dogs are, they come in handy, come
in clutch whenever you need a little greasy bun.
I don't know what food and Frozen would have
to do with each other. And the moon is just out
of reach. I don't know. All right, you throwing
in the towel? Yes, I'll throw in the towel. What
do you got today? What's our objective? So your
through line between gas station hot dogs, the
moon, and Disney's Frozen, is they're all things
of questionable origin. Questionable origin.
And that leads us into our topic for today, conspiracy
theories. It's my most favorite topic. Break
out those tinfoil hats. It's our favorite topic.
It's the most favorite topic to talk about. I'm
so happy I'm here for this episode. I will say,
just going into this episode, that this is a
thing that we talk about probably too frequently.
So when I was doing research for it, it was a
little bit tough to think of the things that
we haven't talked as much about, at least. But
I think I got a couple good ones. All right.
Well, you want to break it out? You want to hit
me with the first one? All right. So the first
one that I have is one that is not necessarily
near and dear to my heart, but it's one that
I think about a decent amount, especially now.
And that would be the dead internet theory. I
have been especially cognizant of the amount
of time that I spend on my phone. recently switched
to a flip phone and i've been kind of going like
back and forth trying to mitigate my screen time
because i'm basically like an unchecked toddler
if you leave me alone with my phone yeah not
helpful to anything especially not my productivity
or my attention span yep which is why the dead
internet theory is so fascinating to me yeah
someone should probably tell my brother about
the dead internet theory maybe then he'll put
his phone down You know, I don't necessarily
think it's a deal breaker for most people. For
the uninitiated, the debt internet theory came
to be in 2021 on, I think it was 4chan. I would
hope that it wasn't 4chan because I don't want
to shout them out for anything. Go 4chan! Uh
-huh. So it was popularized in 2021 on a site
which must not be named. It essentially suggests
that since 2016, 2017, there was this influx
of things that came to be on the internet. And
since then, more and more of what we see in our
day -to -day lives on the internet is not actual
people. We're not interacting with other human
beings, but rather just bots and sock puppets.
I learned what a sock puppet was today in doing
my little last minute. Last minute research.
So sock puppets are similar to bots where they're
an account that's a little bit wrong. But the
difference is that a bot is completely done by
artificial intelligence, whereas a sock puppet
is typically a person. Sock puppets are, from
what I understand, generally a little bit more
malicious. So it's trying to manipulate an algorithm
or to deceive people, things like that. So I
think it would be like a person operating under
a like how Trump's Twitter is like the Donald
Trump or something like that. And so it would
be like the person running the at DJT on X Truth
Social. I don't know. One of the platforms that
I don't use. Of course. So that would be a sock
puppet because they're trying to kind of manipulate
the system by acting as an actual person under
a wrong name or with an ill intent. Yeah, that
is interesting. I've never heard of the sock
puppet before. I'll have to look into that one.
I have heard of the bot farms. I have seen the
pictures of a hundred iPhones plastered onto
a particle board that just run nonstop. Uploading,
downloading, liking. One of the funniest things
to me about this theory that both lends it absolutely
no credence and feels... pretty accurate uh is
that the onset of the dead internet theory was
because of the death of harambe in 2016 oh yeah
that's right i think it was just one of the first
things that went viral in a different way from
like the cat videos on youtube and stuff and
it just caused every corner of the internet to
come together and it just it broke us as a society
yeah i don't think anything has been the same
since 2016 it's just been a downhill slide man
since 2016 that's when it started it's just been
getting weirder and weirder nine years for me
i guess i started paying attention to all of
this stuff come 2020 2021 yeah that's when all
the dead internet theories and all that stuff
started to make itself apparent to me it is very
interesting though i mean a lot of the times
if you just sit on your phone and you do in school
for hours on end you're gonna you're gonna come
across a lot of videos that are the same but
edited differently have different you know different
timelines to um this guy's jumping off a bridge
this guy fell off a bridge this guy was pushed
off a bridge that's all the same video one of
the big points in favor of the dead internet
theory or the like argument that a lot of people
make is that there's no more like randomness
online that everything feels a little bit too
specific to be just this vacuous space of seven
billion people yeah give or take algorithms good
But that's that's also kind of the argument for
or against dead Internet theory is that there's
no more randomness because they have created
math that tells us exactly what we want. Like,
yeah, you saw a video of a guy on a bridge and
you watched that entire thing. You liked it.
You subscribe to the dude, whatever. So it's
going to show you 17 more of them because it
thinks that's what you like. Joke's on you. I
don't like and subscribe. My phone just 100 %
sees me watching the videos and I start to get
smiles on my face. And it's like, yeah, he likes
that one. You're an internet creep. Jesus, that
sounds horrible. It's the... Caden and I were
talking about it the other day. And I don't remember
what he referred to his internet usage as. Because
it was like, it's the people that are on the
internet, but don't post things, don't... like
and subscribe and interact and stuff. There was
a name for it. I don't remember what it was.
I'd be curious to hear that. Cause yeah, I'm
not, I never liked videos. I don't. Yeah. Just,
I don't do any of that stuff for like all the
famous Twitch streamers and stuff. They're getting
hundreds of dollars from people tossing them
money to watch them play video games. I'm just
not about that life, man. If I could just get
paid to, to play video games. Yeah. Tell me about
it. I'd be rich. That would be the dream. That
would be the dream. I play video games for at
least 14 hours out of the day. Sound off in the
comments on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. I apologize
to my general co -host. I don't remember if we
are Cash Exchange Podcast or Cash Exchange Pod
on all of those platforms, but we're one of them.
Look us up. Anyway, sound off in the comments
and let me know if you would be interested in
watching a video of a person who's very easily
jump scared play just jump scare horror. I would
raise my blood pressure for you. She would. She
really would. I know I'd get a kick out of it.
All right. So final verdict. Dead internet theory.
Do you believe in it or is it fake? For me personally,
I definitely believe in it. Anytime I hop on
the internet, most of the stuff that I find,
it's not from actual people who are uploading
videos. They're from weird at underscore slash
dash here, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Weird
names that don't make sense. And then you go
and click on their profiles and there's nothing
really there. There's no bio. There's no description
of them. It's just uploading hundreds of videos
a day. And normal people who have a 9 -to -5
job, I'd assume you're not uploading 100 videos
a day. But then again, who knows? Alternatively,
I've seen a thousand different clickbaity headlines
that say that all of Gen Z is turning into NEETs,
which is not in employment, education, or training.
Something like that, yeah. Which is basically
a very extensive way of saying that Gen Z are
scrubs. Just a whole generation of scrubs. You
heard it here first, folks. A bunch of scrubs.
A bunch of scrubs. No, I think they were just
given horrible opportunities. They weren't given
opportunities like when our predecessors were
growing up. Gen Z is growing up in a world that
is completely against them. Everything they're
trying to learn or be and they're also learning
from us. They're not falling in the line like
we did. The biggest... conspiracy theory of the
episode, y 'all. The American Dream. Mic drop.
Alright, hit us with one. What's your first conspiracy?
I don't know which one's real. I'd say we start
off with something like the moon hoax. The moon
isn't real. Or is it real? Or is it an extra
planet? Or is it a space base? The world may
never know. It's not Swiss cheese, I'll tell
you that much. There's a million different ways
we could go with this. Are we talking about does
the moon exist? Is the moon hollow or Swiss cheese?
Are we talking did we land on it? Did we go to
the moon? It's all kind of up in the air, don't
you think? Did we actually go to the moon? Anytime
you try and question Buzz Aldrin about things,
he just gets very hostile. He's not a very nice
man to talk to, apparently. Okay, first of all...
If you did one of the most momentous things in
human history, you're 50 years removed from the
situation and people are still asking if it happened.
I'd be a little cranky too. Yeah. Probably don't
want to talk to the younger generation who are
just coming up to you going, is that Swiss cheese
up there? You think it's the younger generation?
Those tin foil hats were born decades before
the two of us. Okay. Who knows? Who knows? Every
Kubrick super fan. What about the dark side of
the moon? You always hear people talking about
it, but nobody goes over there. It's like, come
on, guys, just flip the pie over and land on
the dark side. I don't see what the big deal
is. Goodness gracious. I'm not a natural physicist,
but I think it's doable. Just fire the rocket
when the moon is turning and then we hit the
dark side, right? Hey, like, why couldn't we
land on the sun? Couldn't we just, like, wait
to go until it's nighttime? Yeah, that's what
I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying. Glad
we're on the same page. So if we are doing moon
theories, just in general, I'm just going to
break it down into a couple things. We can play
a little real or fake. Maybe dive into a few
of those things. Oh, yes. Do you believe we landed
on the moon? Do I personally believe that we
landed on the moon? Personally, do you believe
we landed on the moon? Just needed my tinfoil
hat for this one. I... Don't think that we landed
on the moon. Okay. But I also do think that we
landed on the moon. I'm cut right in the middle.
You have people that say maybe we did, maybe
we didn't. During the Cold War, when we were
hitting that moon, there was a lot at stake.
So maybe we did. Maybe we're just really good
at making films. Hollywood. Okay. Who knows?
Why is it on the moon and you have a flag waving?
Flags don't wave. It's a vacuum. That thing doesn't
go nowhere. Okay, so both yes and no. We did
and didn't land on the moon. Schrodinger's moon.
Understood. Schrodinger's moon. The possibility
that we get through the Van Island Belt, there's
only a sliver of a chance that you can actually
make it through without being just annihilated
by radiation. Maybe we were just smarter back
in the 60s. Who knows? Or 50s, whenever we went
to the moon, I don't know. I'm a nineties kid.
You're killing it. I believe that we landed on
the moon. That said, I don't know that I believe
that Neil Armstrong, like what we see of the
moon landing was not fake. I do very much believe
that we landed on the moon, but I do also think
because of where we were at politically that
we may be needed to, to beef up the way that
we looked. And so I think that it would have
made sense to create the kind of patriotism that
comes from we did something absolutely incredible
as a country and we landed on the moon. I get
that. So we did land on the moon, but we weren't
able to show people we landed on the moon. So
we had to create us landing on the moon. Correct.
That's interesting. I do think that we landed
on the moon, but I don't think that what we know
of that experience was what actually happened.
Sure. Yeah, there's a lot of people that say
it's hard to believe. Who knows? A lot of people
who work every day with cameras and film and
production and all that stuff, they don't believe
that what we filmed was accurate. How did you
get the cameras out there? How were they able
to record in a vacuum? Most time cameras won't
operate in this type of density or something.
To be fair, though, I think there's always going
to be some level of bewilderment. to us landing
on anything that's not on Earth. Sure. Like we
have the Mars rover. Elon Musk has his plans
to go to Mars. There's all of these, like there's
another space race happening right now. And I
think that it always seems a little bit like
nonsense because it seems so far away that it's
just, it just feels... So far out of our reach?
Impossible. It feels very far out of our reach,
yes. It really does. And then why haven't we
been back in the last 70, 80 years? You made
it once. Why not try it again? I don't know.
That's a good question. That was a good one.
All right. So I am pro we landed on the moon.
You're somewhere in the middle on we landed on
the moon. We might have landed on the moon. Might
have landed on the moon. You believe in Schrodinger's
moon. If you open the box, we didn't land. If
you keep the box closed, we might have landed.
Sure. Who knows? Okay. So in that case, the moon
itself. What do you believe it is? This isn't
really a real or fake because it is. I don't
know what it is, but it is. It's not Swiss cheese,
I'll tell you that much. I've felt the moon rocks
that fall down here. They're hard. You can't
eat them. What? You know, the little moon rocks
that fall out of the sky. No? You've never caught
a moon rock before? Are we talking about Joe
Dirt? Have you just been keeping a little piece
of airplane poo with you? What do you mean moon
rocks? I haven't had the moon rock tested, so
it might just be a fecal sample. Who knows? Who
knows? My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen, has
a pet chunk of space poo. Space poo? That's on
my counter. I don't know. I mean, there's talk
that the Nazis had a secret base in Antarctica,
so I'm getting the feeling we got a space base.
You know what I mean? I think there's people
up on the moon. They're watching stuff. They're
sending a couple earthquakes our way if we need
it. A couple tidal waves. They're sending earthquakes?
Yeah, you know, they send signals down and cracks
up the Earth. Tsunamis come, flushes people away,
and they set up in their space base. You know
what? It's a base. Hell yeah. I think it's a
base. I think aliens inhabit the other side of
the moon, the dark side, if you will. And just
keeping an eye on us. Making sure we're not doing
any no good doodery. Know what I mean? No good
doodery. So that's my take on the moon. Okay.
It might be real. It might not. Are you questioning
whether or not the moon exists? You want to go
to the next level of conspiracies? You can see
it. Yeah, I can see it. I can also see videos
on my phone. And a lot of the times those things
aren't real. Perception, babe. Who knows? No.
Just because you see it doesn't mean it's real.
Our eyes deceive us. Realize, realize, realize.
Realize. Jaden Smith. I'm sorry, I need a minute
to process that you might not believe that the
moon is real. It's not the same as you seeing
the moon through your phone. It's daylight outside.
I don't see no moon. What, when the sun comes
out, they just throw a big blanket over the moon
or something? I don't believe it. I'm totally
kidding. Put yourself back together. I see the
gears grinding in the brain. I believe that the
moon is real. Oh, thank God. There's more behind
what the moon might be. People say, well, you
know, it controls the ocean's tides and does
all that stuff. And sure. But I think there's
something else. There's more. There's more behind
that moon. Get it? Behind the moon. So that's
the moon. You got anything more to add on to
the moon? My theory about the moon. First of
all, it does exist. It's important to me that
I say that. That's not my theory on it. It does
exist. That said, my favorite theory about the
moon's origin is that it's actually a spaceship
that just got stuck in our orbit and then collected
a bunch of debris, space dust. So it's the Death
Star? Essentially, yes. Space -based. There's
a lot of interesting things when you look into
the hollow moon theory. And when you look into
the hollow moon theory, a lot of it would kind
of suggest... things that make sense if it were
a spaceship or some kind of craft that got stuck
in our airspace or in our orbit. So I don't pretend
to know enough to have a conclusive theory on
what brought about the moon. But the one that
I have the most fun with and the one that I'm
absolutely sticking to, spaceship. Spaceship.
All right. You got spaceship. You got space base.
There's people up there. Suck it, Elon Musk.
I don't know about that one. I don't know if
there are people on the moon, but there's something.
Well, to find people. Maybe there's reptiles
up there. I think that might be a little bit
too granular to get into. This podcast is not
an all -nighter. No, not trying to hit the four
-hour mark? You know, we probably could in different
situations. But God, people having to listen
to us ramble on for four hours? Not a chance.
Our little NSA listener is probably having the
time of their life when we have... Talks on the
phone. 100%. They hear a lot of hoopla. A whole
lot of hoopla. All right. I think that was all
I had for the moon. Did we land on it? And what
is it? That's all I got, yeah. These are the
questions we need to be asking. These are the
questions we need at the forefront next time
we do election year. What is on the moon? Did
we land on the moon? What's up with the moon?
We were already told that we were going to get
stuff about the aliens. Let's maybe leave it
there and try to... To fix some of the problems
on Earth before we start figuring out what's
further out. No, we're Americans. Just slash
and burn, babe. If this world doesn't work, you
know, nuke it and move to the next one. There's
conspiracies behind that's what happened on Mars.
There's a lot of nuclear radiation up there.
And they believe, you know, maybe that was Earth
1. And we just blew it up and then flew over
to Earth 2. If Mars was the... og civilization
and earth is just 2 .0 or whatever i don't in
any way shape or form believe that mars was the
first let's plan it like 500 at this point we
just keep moving uh yeah i could definitely see
that all right so what do you got next what's
your next conspiracy hit me my next one is one
of the goofier theories that i have and that
would be disney's frozen head This is a good
one. This is a good one. This is one of my favorite
ones because I love a good like Hollywood conspiracy
theory that doesn't involve incredible amounts
of depressing things. Yeah. I love a fun conspiracy
theory and there is nothing more fun of a conspiracy
theory than the idea that Walt Disney died and
wanted himself cryogenically frozen. His head
may or may not, but it's definitely not on the
Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Do you believe
that Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen? Bear
in mind, he did die in the 1960s. So, technologically
speaking... Were we even there in the 1960s?
Were we able to cryogenically freeze people?
We made it to the moon. Sure, sure. We're also
talking about Walt Disney, the man with astronomical
amounts of will, who he could probably have scientists
and pay them just to study this. Maybe he is
frozen. I don't know what he wants to do. Is
he going to pop up in 2035? He's going to hop
out of that thing and just hate what the world
turned into. And you're going to go right back
in the hole. So you're in the middle on this
one too? You think there might be a chance that
he's frozen? Nah, no more maybes. I'm going to
say there might be a chance that he is frozen.
That's still a maybe. He is frozen. There we
go. Is he on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride?
I've never been to Disney World. Neither have
I. No. No? So he is frozen, is not on the Pirates
of the Caribbean ride. No, he's underneath Disney
World in their laboratory. They have him hooked
up to machines. He is like the AI of Disney World.
He's just controlling everything through a computer
in his own mind. Kind of like that Johnny Depp
movie. Did not enjoy that movie. Transcendence?
I liked it. It was pretty cool. Then again, I
like Johnny Depp. Anything he plays in. Would
not go that far. Except for... What was it? Monarchy?
No. Mordecai. Mordecai. That one. Didn't really
care for that one. That one was... You could
throw it back into the shoebox. Did you ever
watch Dark Shadows? Oh, yeah. Dark Shadows was
cool. Yeah. It was the vampire... Wasn't it a
kid's movie? It was... Sort of. PG -13 or something.
Yeah. Did not care for that one. No. Well...
Hit or miss? I don't believe that Walt Disney
was cryogenically frozen, but I think it would
be really cool if he were. And why do you think
that? I mean, I guess technically it's a little
bit hit or miss if he were cryogenically frozen
for the same reason that Marilyn Monroe and James
Dean going back into the public domain fairly
soon is not a good look for the future of film.
But I think it would be... cool if we had the
kind of technology that would afford essentially
a pause in your life come back 40 years from
now try it again like the the theory stands that
he was dying and so he froze himself until there
was a cure for what he had i don't remember unfortunately
what the condition was like i don't know what
he died from but the theory states that He wanted
to freeze himself until there was a cure for
it, which I think is interesting. I think that's
a fascinating little bit of sci -fi, if it were
true. Sure. I don't believe that it is, again,
but it would be interesting. So you're on the
nay side of if he was frozen and or not. I am
indeed. Ooh. When it comes to Disney's head,
real or fake, I am going fake. She's got thumbs
down. All right. Thumbs down. You know, and that's
funny because I actually have a conspiracy that
is very similar into this one, just a little
bit different. Ooh. Okay, what do you got? So
this is something I was reading up on yesterday.
And it's a conspiracy based around the movie
Frozen. And that people at Disney created the
movie Frozen as a distraction. In a way to hack
Google's algorithm and distract consumers. Everybody
was always trying to Google. Walt Disney, Frozen.
Walt Disney, Cryogenically Frozen. All these
things. They were sick and tired of all that
traffic. Create the movie, Frozen. Now anytime
you want to Google Walt Disney Frozen, that's
going to pop up. Just another little wacky, little
kooky one to throw in the mix. I would believe
that one. If it weren't for the fact that they
had a long string of things where it was just
like single adjectives. So, like, they had a
run where their movies were, like, tangled and
frozen and brave. If they had been a little bit
more creative and done all of, like, The Princess
and the Frog, Beauty and the Beast, and then
it was just, like, frozen, then yes. I would
absolutely stand by the fact that they made that
movie, or they named it, at least, to get people
off the scent. Yeah, I thought you might like
that one. Anytime Walt Disney's name pops up,
it's always something interesting is bound to
be said or heard. Yeah, unless it is the 50th
live action remake of a movie we've already seen.
Quit rehashing old rehashes. Let it die. Make
something new. We could totally also have made
our guest host episode the prequels, sequels,
and reboots. It is one of my biggest grievances
in media today. is the fact that I could not
tell you the last time we watched an original
thing in theaters that wasn't the 15th of its
kind. There are about to be 11 Fast and Furiouses.
There are 11 Fast and Furiouses if you count
Hobbs and Shaw. No, no, that one doesn't count.
That's not Fast and the Furious. All right, you
got another one? I have several. Hit me. We're
gonna begin. I don't know. Which one would be?
I'm trying to contemplate what's a good talking
subject. Reptiles run the U .S. government is
interesting. Atrazine in the water, turning the
frogs gay. That's always going to be a good one
to touch on. The look on your face kind of tells
me we should probably talk about the atrazine.
Or your internet died. Is she frozen? Oh, nope,
she moved. I'm mentally on the Pirates of the
Caribbean ride. Whee! Whee! Joe Rogan is a CIA
plant. I mean, this can really just go any direction.
On principle, I feel it necessary to say I don't
feel like weighing in on anything that Alex Jones
made a platform on. He's been right about most
things. Let's give credit where credit is due,
you know what I mean? I will not. He has not.
What? The Sandy Hook one? Yeah, he kinda... He
kind of messed that one up. Sandy Hook wasn't.
No, that wasn't good. He was in a bad place at
that time, though. He was drinking a lot. You
lost me at Alex Jones was right about most things.
But the other ones. What was he right about?
I mean, he was right about Atrazine being in
the water and turning the frogs gay, wasn't he?
I love saying things and watching your head blow
up. Theoretically, there is a little bit of credence
to the frog thing. That is the most credit I
will ever give. Alex Jones. So by tomorrow, I'm
going to have the full deep dive printed out,
ready to go with all the facts and I'll send
it over to you. And then you can maybe see that
he was right about some things possibly. I don't
know. No. If you want me to. read about this
nonsense and learn your perspective on the situation,
I expect you to come to Austin with a bulletin
board, some red string, and a whole bunch of
index cards. Yeah, I'll even have you color -coded.
Green being absolutely like, this is probably
true, and then all the way to red, and it's like,
yeah, this probably wasn't true. Sandy Hook is
a red card. If you don't look like that Charlie
Day meme, I'm not listening. That's not gonna
work? Okay. Um... The water is turning the frickin'
frogs gay. All right, all right, all right. We'll
stay away from the Alex Jones ones. Those are
a little too hit or miss. Oh, God. There are
plural? Oh, there's many. One of my most favorite
ones to think about nowadays, though, is the
fact that we might be living in a simulation
theory. We might be living in the Matrix. I have
that one, too. Great minds think alike. What
is the... Tell us more about the simulation theory.
Well, for those of you who don't watch a whole
bunch of conspiracy videos on YouTube like I
do, Deep diving into the night. What is it like
to be well -adjusted? What is it like to be well
-adjusted, people? What do you do at nighttime?
Do you leave your phone in a different room?
Do you read a book to go to bed? Well, I don't.
I binge videos until about midnight. And I'm
fine. I'm fine. You can almost hear the eye twitches.
Um... Simulation theory. So simulation theory
is the thought that we are basically living inside
a giant computer. For those of you who might
have watched Rick and Morty, we could very well
just be a battery in a car. And we're just, we're
powering the battery. Hundreds of millions of
people charging the power in a battery. That
could be us. I forgot who said it. Wasn't it
Elon Musk? Elon Musk said that there's more of
a percentage that we are living in a simulation
than not. sure i don't know what that means they
say they look at code i don't know how you look
at code in the world but i'm a chef that's not
for me to know there's a lot of things in the
world that we understand that work in binary.
And I think that's a lot of where simulation
theory comes from is the idea that like so much
of our existence can be broken down into ones
and zeros, which is the entire basis of every
computer program. Every little bit of software
is built on code. Everything in the actual matrix
is just code. Yeah, that's right. Isn't there
talk that In terms of quantum computing as well,
you try to calculate certain problems and it
doesn't work or it takes too long. But when you
use quantum computing, there's thought that it's
pulling in all these different answers and resources
from different universes. And that's how we get
answers super quick. A multiverse theory, if
you will. Okay, so quick little aside. Do you
believe in the multiverse? Real or fake? Being
put on the spot here. You know what? I believe
in simulation theory. I'm an unequivocal yes
on the multiverse. I absolutely believe there
are other universes. Yeah, there's one Nate,
but you know, there's a thousand Nates in all
the other universes. We can band together and
be one giant dum -dum. I need you to watch everything
everywhere all at once. It's got to be the next
on your to -watch list. We'll watch it together
if we need to. I've been meaning to watch it
because it is streamable right now. It is indeed.
One of the points in the favor of the simulation
theory or the multiverse theory, which I think
is fascinating, is the Mandela effect. That's
another good one. So you know what the Mandela
effect is, right? You mean the Bernstein bears
or the Bernstein bears? Or the Bernstein bears?
Again, for the uninitiated, the Mandela effect
is essentially a thing that people collectively
remember in one specific way that there is all
of a sudden no proof of. The idea that the fruit
in Fruit Loops was spelled like the actual noun,
but actually Fruit Loops is F -R -O -O -T, not
U -I. To be fair, I've always thought that it
was F -R -O -O. Like that one's not a Mandela
effect that I am on the wrong side of, I suppose.
Or like the cornucopia and the Hanes logo. I
absolutely remember that. Yeah, I used to wear
Hanes. I can back this up. I remember cornucopia
in all my boxes. You remember the cornucopia?
I do. part of the idea of the multiverse or simulation
theory and it's like actual practice with our
day -to -day lives is that there's little bits
of variation in the code which creates almost
identical things with little bitty differences
so berenstein berenstein bears yeah i used to
read all those books too when i was younger i
did too And I want to say they were Berenstain
bears. I don't know. Too tricky. I love talking
about simulation theory or multiverse theory
for that matter. I do too. The thought of there
being other things out there, things happening
all at the same time. It's just, it makes your
everyday life feel not so bad. It could be worse
or it could be better. One of the interesting
things about simulation theory is that if we
are all just. essentially code, then there is
a way to more or less hack your existence to
create the life that you want, which I think
is a very interesting. I don't know if it's woo
woo because it feels real techie to be to be
woo woo nonsense. But a lot of the like the manifestation
kind of mindset or like bio hacking and stuff
seems like it's just a way to use simulation
theory to your advantage. And I think that's
really interesting. I think that's a very cool
thing to be capable of if you happen to believe
in all of that. I do like the thought of manifestation.
Think good, want good things for yourself to
happen, and through proper manifestation, you
can have everything that you want. Do good things
and good things happen. Straight from Carson
Daly's mouth to my morphine -laced ears. You
tell them, girl. Do you know what the allegory
of the cave is? I do not. never heard of it so
the allegory of the cave was a book that was
written by plato and to deeply paraphrase because
it has been a very long time since I had to read
this book. And it was honestly a little difficult
to understand to begin with. Essentially, the
allegory of the cave is that there are people
who are chained to a wall inside of a cave, right?
They are, they're facing the other wall. And
on that wall, they see shadows of what's happening
behind them. Everything from that perspective
is their reality. All that these people know,
because the only things that they can see are
in front of them, their reality is these shadows.
whenever they see the actual things that are
happening, it feels fake to them. Because their
concept of reality hinges on the shadows. Everything
that they know is these shadows. And so the kind
of takeaway of it is that we perceive reality
as we are, not what it is. And so a simulation
theory, I think a lot of that is just we kind
of see all of this stuff as we are, not how the
things actually exist. It's all... Little bit
different of an experience. Yeah. It's all a
little bit wonky. We can only perceive that which
our eyes see. What our eyes show us. If I close
my eyes, there's nothing here. I'm in a cave.
I'm out somewhere dark. Then I open them and
I realize, oh no, I'm in my living room actually.
All right, what else you got? I would say last
but not least, because I thought this one might
be interesting, is the COVID -19 vaccine contains
a 5G chip. So we're all running around with little
5G chips in it. Well, maybe not all of us. But
some people are running around with little 5G
chips in their bodies. Realistically, anything
COVID related is pretty funny in today's times.
In 2020, it was a very serious matter. In 2025,
it's questionable. Okay. Remember, folks, I got
a tinfoil hat on. I know you can't see it, but
you can hear it. What is the basis of there being
5G chips in the COVID vaccine? I should have
done more research. You gotta give me something.
You cannot make the most out -of -pocket statement
on this entire episode aside from the moon's
not real. Come up with your own assumptions.
I don't know. I'm just throwing headlines out
there. Did you just clickbait me? I clickbaited
you. Damn it. So there's people contemplating
whether or not there's a 5G chip in their brain
or in their arm right now due to sicknesses that
they're getting. Some people have apparently
said that since they've gotten the vaccine, their
phones don't operate as well as they used to,
as if it's being intercepted by something else.
Tinfoil hat, folks. Keep that hat right next
to you. We don't need it for this next segment.
But of course, total control. I know where my
people are at all times. I know what they're
feeling. I know what they need. A quick counterpoint
to that. Why would we need a chip implanted into
our arms for that? When was the last time you
went anywhere without your phone? Walk around
the lake. That's probably it. Even then, it's
dangerous. What if I get locked up? So, like,
why would you need a tracking chip physically
in your body when we consent to having a tracker
on us 24 -7? Well... It rarely leaves most people's
bedrooms when they sleep. Well, maybe that chip
does more things on the inside of our body. Maybe
it monitors your health levels, or... if you
got any diseases coming up. Maybe the 5G chip
can tell you you have cancer before you know
you have cancer. Maybe it causes the cancer.
I mean, a lot of people also have smartwatches
and things that also track their health. I was
trying to read up on this 5G thing. I don't know.
Maybe I got clickbaited. I think you got clickbaited.
You're on a different side of the internet for
me. I definitely am. What about reptiles running
the US government? You ever heard that one? I
have indeed. I guess I would also tie into like
skinwalkers and stuff. There's people out there
who have the appearance of being a human, but
they ain't human. And sometimes you see those
people in politics and you go, there's not a
chance in hell that man has a soul. Not saying
any names. I don't believe in a reptilian government.
I don't believe in skinwalkers running the show.
I think that those kind of theories pop up because
it's kind of hard to square the lack of humanity
in a lot of humans. And the easiest way to help
us sleep at night is to believe that these people
aren't genuinely evil, but they're just not people
at all. So they might not be a reptile. It's
just people without an... Inner monologue, maybe?
It's people without souls. Empathy. It is complete
and utter sociopathy. People who don't have an
angel on one shoulder and the devil on another.
You should do this. Right. You really shouldn't.
Instead, it's much easier to just say, oh, well,
these people clearly can't be human. No human
would make these choices. Because they're cold.
Unfortunately, they would. Yeah. They do. Daily.
Yeah. Sad world to be in nowadays. It is indeed.
This is why we stay off our phones all the time,
kids. So reptile government. Reptile dysfunction.
Real or not real? Reptile dysfunction. You goofball.
Aren't they all asexual? Or isn't it backwards?
Isn't it the men lay the eggs and the women fertilize
it? Nope. Fertilize it. I think you might be
thinking of seahorses. I was thinking fish. Yeah,
I think that's a fish thing. Nope. Female fishes
lay the eggs and the men just shoot their junk
all over it. But male seahorses carry the babies.
Equality. That's what feminism is for. Yeah,
of course. I knew there was going to be something
following that. What? I got nothing. I got nothing.
It was the bottom. It's just like, yep. Absolutely
correct. Equality. Nothing more to add on to
that one. Just a whole lot of hoopla. Just kidding.
So reptilian government, real or fake? I'm going
to go with fake on that one because reptiles,
other than Komodo dragons, don't get to be that
big. And they sure as shit are not bipedal. They
do not stand on two legs and walk. Well, except
for that one creepy... Geico lizard. Yeah, he
bucks it. He does buck it. Well, I was thinking
about the bearded dragons, the ones on holes.
Those things got up on Tulip. Oh, yeah. Picking
at them. Poor Shia LaBeouf. Getting charged at
by these bearded dragons. Those sumbitches are
scary. That's what nightmares are made of when
you were young. Bunch of lizards chasing you
down. I think there's just correlation in the
sense that when we're talking about reptiles
and people in government being these reptile
people, it's cold -blooded. These people are
just cold -blooded. They do a lot of things in
terms of profit. Not necessarily in the betterment
of American people. I think that's why we give
these people this term as being reptiles. Not
alive. Not a human. Speaking of reptile people,
my next theory is that the Denver airport is
secretly the doomsday bunker for the Illuminati.
That's also one of my most favorite ones to think
about. It is also one of my favorites. I actually
went to the Denver airport, did not fly in or
out of Denver. Went to the Denver airport specifically
because the person that I went on this trip with,
we were talking about the Denver airport and
the Illuminati and specifically Blucifer. Are
you familiar with Blucifer? It's the first time
I've heard it. So Blucifer. Clues, clues, but
in demo form. Sure, yeah. So, Blucifer, which
I definitely recommend that you Google, is a
gigantic blue horse statue that's outside the
Denver airport. Oh, yes, of course. Blucifer,
for some reason, has glowing red eyes. Yeah.
Not only that, but Blucifer killed its creator
as it was being finished. I wonder what happened.
It fell on him. It hadn't gone to the airport
yet. Oh. They just found him dead with a horse
statue on top of him, and they said, yep. We're
putting that in the airport. So in 06, while
working on the sculpture in his studio, a large
section of it fell on the sculptor Luis Jimenez,
crushing his leg and severing an artery, which
ultimately led to his death. Damn, poor fella.
The sculpture is a 32 foot tall, bright blue
Mustang with glowing red eyes. Yeah, red eyes
is an odd choice. Unless he was trying to go
for like a Spider -Man kind of blue and red pattern.
I'll have to look in that one tonight. I want
to say I've watched a video or two about it.
There's nothing really stuck. I think we've talked
about it. We have talked about it. Because I
talked about the Denver airport a problematic
amount. So to think that that's a bunker for
the Illuminati, first you have to believe in
the Illuminati. Double conspiracy. I'm not going
to say Illuminati real or fake because that feels
like it's, it gets us into different territory.
What I will say is that there's a lot of very
strange things about the Denver airport and I
leaned into it in a way that just honestly makes
it less fun because I went to the Denver airport
and unfortunately when I went, they were in the
middle of constructing, in the middle of construction.
And so a lot of the airport was blocked off,
but all of the little like barricades and stuff
were Illuminati themed. And so it would be like,
we're building some new exciting things for this
airport. And then it would have like pictures
of reptile people in like suits and construction
hats. And it would be like, or are we building
more tunnels for the secret headquarters underneath
us? OK, I don't think you're making the point
that you think you are. A few. A few quick fun
little things about the Denver airport. It was
built in 95. It came in way over budget. It has
a series of connected tunnels underneath it.
Not really sure why. And all of the artwork or
a lot of the artwork is strange. there's a lot
of things that just are weird choices for an
airport. Sure. And there's also like a bunch
of gargoyles and things around it. Whenever they
originally started leaning into the conspiracy
theories around them, they had a, I don't know,
have you ever seen the videos of Crush, the sea
turtle that's in Finding Nemo at Disney World,
where it'll be like a screen of him and he'll
be like talking to the kids? Oh, okay. No, I've
never seen that. Okay, well, it was basically
like that. So it would be, it's an animatronic
gargoyle voiced by somebody behind the scenes
because there was like a camera in the gargoyle
stand. And so he would just make like jokes about
the airport to all of the people going through
it. It's a very strange situation. There's a
lot of things that are just deeply, deeply weird
about the Denver airport. Yeah, why Denver? Why
would the Illuminati want it to be built in Denver?
If the Illuminati exists, of course. Because
the tunnels go into the Rocky Mountains. What
better place to hide during doomsday than inside
mountains? Oh yeah, that's fair. Alright, so
Denver Airport as a headquarters for some secret
society in the States. Or in the world. We going
yay or nay on this one? Real or fake? You know,
I think... It's very similar to the episode of
South Park where they did the 9 -11 conspiracies,
where it's President Bush going, oh, here's all
the documents that we're, you know, we did it
all ourselves and kind of throws it behind us.
I don't think we're smart enough to do all that
stuff. But then again, I'm going to go with maybe
there is a base under there, but it's not for
the now. It's got to be all or nothing on this
one. Mm hmm. See yes or no. Maybe not necessarily
the Illuminati, but some kind of secret society.
Maybe it's the Freemasons. I could see that more.
I think there might be a base underneath it with
all this goofy stuff going on with the tunnels
and everything. I just couldn't necessarily say
that it was the Illuminati. Yes, maybe it's the
Freemasons. Maybe it's a different society of
people. Maybe it's another place for the President
of the United States to hide out in. Maybe that's
where the actual presidential bunker is. Far,
far away from Washington, D .C. Travel to the
middle of the country. Stay a little bit safer.
Sure. Do you think that there might be Starbucks
in those underground tunnels? Because I've also
heard of Starbucks operating in these underground
tunnels all over the place. They're called Secret
Starbucks. And it's pretty much just for celebrities,
famous people. I've also heard about that. How
does one get hired at the Secret Starbucks? Just
like out of curiosity. It's probably a 10 -year
thing. After 10 years, we'll give you the, you
know, we'll give you the option. We'll send you
a secret mail, handwritten, you open it and you're
like, oh my God, it's like an offer letter. I
have the possibility to live downstairs. Imagine
the NDAs you have to sign to work in an underground
Starbucks serving only celebrities and the one
percenters. Do you think they make a lot more
money because they work at the secret Starbucks
and have to sign all of these ironclad? No, it's
the same thing here. It's just when they pull
up the tip percentages, like here, it's not 5,
10, and 15%. It's like 50, 75, 100%. They just
get more tips. Come on. Think Starbucks is going
to pay their people more? No. Or just have the
consumer tip them more, and then they make more.
It's the day and age that we live in. You don't
get paid from the company you work for. No, you
get paid for by the people who tip you. Which
brings me to my biggest grievance, tipping Colton.
No, I'm just kidding. You guys already did. No.
I won't take you back. We've already done a couple.
Yeah, you have. It's been touched on in a few
of the episodes because it's obviously near and
dear to my current state. That's how you make
your money. Tis indeed. Well, yeah. So I'm going
to go with yes. It is an underground base. There's
an underground facility underneath it. If they
went way over budget. That probably means there
was some stuff missing from the blueprints. Here's
our $10 billion facility, and then here's our
$20 billion facility. We went over budget. Sorry,
guys. It's all the artwork. I promise. That horse?
That costs like $5 billion alone. Well, yeah.
It's a murder horse. It is a murder horse with
red eyes. That's pretty cool. That marks up the
price. So do you think if Apocalypse ever came,
we could notice it by the horse? Maybe the horse
just disappears one day? And then we know, what
is it, the trombone or something? The trumpets
have been sounded? The trumpet. The four horsemen
are on the ride? Maybe that's just one of the
four horses. Lucifer being one of the four horsemen
feels a little too on the nose. A little bit.
But we're living in unprecedented times. Yeah.
Maybe Lucifer is the siren of the apocalypse.
Hey, you never know. You know, most people would
think like, no, it's too on the nose. They would
never make it the horse. But in actuality, it's
like, okay, it probably is. It really is. That
horse is going to come for us all. So note this,
folks. If you ever see a blue horse with red
eyes chasing you in a street, it's Blucifer and
your time has come. You did not make it to the
sacred land. So he's 32 feet tall. If Blucifer
is coming at you, I don't think you have a lot
of time to think about anything. Run! Also, I
know that... Theoretically getting chased by
Blucifer would be incredibly scary, but all I'm
doing is picturing the episode of The Simpsons,
The Treehouse of Horror, where all of the mascots
come to life and Lard Lad is running wild through
the streets. Oh yeah, that's also scary. That's
what I'm picturing, but just big ol' horse. Alright,
so the Denver airport is in fact a bunker for
something or someone. Is that what you're saying?
Final answer? Oh, I was asking you if that was
your final answer. But yes, I do believe that
it is. There's something strange going on in
Denver. All right. What else you got? I mean,
it wouldn't be a conspiracy theory if we didn't
talk about 9 -11, right? You know, I don't think
I have a perspective on this one. I'm not touching
that one. It's too old. It's too... There's too
much. The people who all believed in the 9 -11
conspiracy when it was first happening, so say...
By the time I was able to utilize YouTube and
stuff, I was probably, what, 13, 14 years old?
That's probably right when YouTube came out and
all these conspiracy videos. It's the same thing
with Sasquatch. You meet the people who met Sasquatch
and you start to listen to them talk and you
go, oh, I get it. This person's batshit insane.
Now it makes sense. I only really like speculating
when it comes to conspiracy theories or spending
my time looking at conspiracy theories. whenever
there's not really a ton of stakes to it. If
I believe the Illuminati headquarters is under
the Denver airport, it's kind of harmless. If
it is, if it isn't. In the case that like the
dead internet theory, it can have actual like
real life consequences and things. But generally
speaking, it's pretty harmless. I think when
you speculate about things that cost so many
lives, it's tough to... I don't enjoy making
conclusions about that. No. I don't like speculating
as to how all these people died in a way that,
like, I think true crime podcasters are tasteless.
Because I think that it's a get -rich -quick
-off -of -trauma -born kind of thing rather than
you actually respecting the dead. Yeah. Digging
up the graves, I think, is not helpful. Sometimes
you just gotta let it die. Who knows? Look at
the Titanic. Ooh, there's a lot of people that
say the Titanic didn't sink. It wasn't the Titanic.
It was a different ship. But they just wanted
to give it that name because it had a much better
ring to it, maybe. People's lives definitely
still were lost that day. So what happened, theoretically
speaking, was that there was a sister ship, the
Titanic, and its sister ship, the Olympic, were
switched before the Titanic's voyage. The Olympic
had been damaged in a collision and was disguised
as the Titanic and sent on the voyage to collect
insurance money because they knew it was going
to sink. It had had so much structural damage
to it, but there was no way to, like, it was
an incredibly expensive ship. There was no way
to recoup their money from it. And so essentially
they sent it out to sea knowing that it was going
to kill all of these people. They knew exactly
what was going to happen to it because it would
have sunk whether or not it hit Nisberg. That
wasn't even an iceberg. That thing just left
port and just sank about 30 minutes later. There's
no foundation to it because the ships were built
differently. Of course. So like you can see in
pictures of the Olympic versus pictures of the
Titanic that they don't have enough of the same
characteristics that you can mistake them for
each other. They're not identical. Okay. And
again, won't speculate because a lot of people
lost their lives, but that one's an interesting
one. So Titanic and 9 -11. Interesting stories.
A lot of speculation. Lots of speculation, yeah.
What about you? You got anything else? Any more
conspiracies you want to touch on? I have one
that's not necessarily a thing I want to do a
whole deep dive on. I believe in Bigfoot. I believe
in, well, not all the cryptids, but I believe
in Bigfoot. I don't believe in Bigfoot in a separate
kind of animal thing necessarily. I think that
we kind of see what we want to see. So like,
yeah, if you're going on a Bigfoot hunting expedition,
you're going to find Bigfoot. Any bear that you
see, any like weird looking animal that you see
from so far away that you can't get a clear picture
or a good like sight on them, you're going to
think it's Bigfoot. But I believe there are some
strange things happening in our forests that
we don't have a good grasp on. One of which could
be what has come to be known as Sasquatch. But
they could just be... A different breed of hominids.
They could just be us, but 100 ,000 years prior
to what we turned into. Correct. They might just
be going through different levels of evolution.
And they grew insanely tall, strong, and hairy.
Yeah. Kind of like me. But yes, there are a lot
of people. Yeah, there's a lot of people that
say that Sasquatch are real, but it's 2025 and
we've yet to ever get a picture that's not insanely
grainy and taken from a flip phone. There's a
lot of wild things out in the woods. That's all
I got. I think that's all I had too. So what's
your takeaway? How do you feel about conspiracies?
What do conspiracies do for you? Do they make
you smile? Do they give you a headache? Yes.
I mean, there's conspiracies for so many things
that there's no way it doesn't cover the entire
spectrum of human emotion. There are a lot of
them that I think are fascinating. Do I put stake
in them? No. There's a lot of just straight up
nonsense because internet people get bored. There
are a lot of things that I think there's some
ounce of truth to and some things that I wholeheartedly
believe. If for no other reason than the fact
that I just want to wholeheartedly believe them.
Do I have any evidence that Bigfoot is real?
No. Do I have a reason to believe that Bigfoot
is real? No. I don't have a compelling reason
to tell you that Bigfoot exists. Besides the
fact... That I just think he does because I think
it would make the world a little bit better if
we had Big Fi. Big Fi. Which is the plural of
Bigfoot if you haven't been listening since I
believe episode one, maybe episode two of this
podcast. Big Fi. But sometimes I like to think
about conspiracy theories because I think it's
just an interesting perspective on the world.
I like when things aren't just cut and dry. Of
course. I don't. like conspiracy theories that
seem actively malicious damning to the country
or damning the people yes i don't like i said
i don't like speculation about things like 9
-11 i don't like speculation about things like
sandy hook because maybe there is something more
nefarious behind all of the situation but like
i don't see a ton of merit in theorizing about
tragedy That said, I also do occasionally fall
victim to theorizing about tragedies like the
Amelia Earhart story, JonBenet Ramsey's death,
things of that nature. I try not to because it's
still in poor taste, but I do occasionally fall
into those boxes. For entertainment purposes,
sometimes it's fun because it is. It takes us
out of our everyday life, which is so cut and
dry, so black and white. And it gives you these
little glimpses as to, well, what if this is
actually what happened? Makes life fun all over
again. Makes it feel fresh and new. Sometimes
it's nice to dive into the unknown, knowing that
at the end of it, you'll have exactly zero more
answers than you had going in. Yeah. I think
there's a lot of merit to it. Even if it doesn't,
there's never a conclusion. And on that note.
Do you have any closing thoughts for us? Where
do you stand on conspiracy theories? I love them.
They keep me up at night. They wake me up in
the day. It is my one and only motivator to do
everything I do every single... No, I'm kidding,
people. Your one and only motivator. You know,
I love conspiracy theories. For me, I utilize
them as entertainment purposes. And sometimes
I just like to give people a headache. Sometimes
it's fun. Me. You like to give me a headache.
Sometimes you find someone and they think that
they know exactly what they're talking about.
And I go, well, what do you think about this
thought? I like to give people different perspectives
and how they have an outlook on life. Some people
think it's very cut and dry. And I go, hey, mom,
maybe we didn't go to the moon. And then I get
to see a 54 -year -old woman's head explode as
I try to explain to her that it was all a fake
and there was this and that. And she recalls
the moment when she saw it on TV. I'm just kidding.
She's not that old. That's messed up. Could you
imagine? That's the real conspiracy. How old
is old? Is old old? So yes, I just enjoy conspiracy.
For me, it's pure entertainment. Instead of laying
in bed and watching cooking videos or something
informative, sometimes it's nice to unwind and
think about Bigfoot. Think about Mothman. Think
about UFOs and aliens and reptiles running the
government. I do think a lot about Bigfoot and
Mothman. Pure entertainment. It makes life go
by a little bit easier. I think the conspiracy
theories are so fun for me because I like to
believe that there's more things that we can't
explain. I think it's a very cool facet of humanity
that we seek to understand nonsense. That we
are so ready to accept that the strangest things
exist solely because humans are by nature storytellers.
Yeah. These are the stories we're going to pass
on for generations to come. Think about how wild
the conspiracy theories are going to be 100 years
from now. If, you know, we still exist. That's
the biggest conspiracy of them all. We'll save
that for next time. For next time. All right.
Do you have any closing words of wisdom for our
listeners? Closing words of wisdom. Stop brainwashing
yourself with hours of... 10 -second videos from
Tic Tacs or YouTube Shorts, and dive deeper into
the conspiracies that make us smile every day.
Learn about Sasquatch and the Yeti. All right.
That's my words of wisdom. The world is already
pretty bananas. If you're going to be one of
the few people that's left on the internet that's
not a bot, make a conspiracy theory. Start something
new. Maybe the Space Needle is actually a radio
tower to our home base on Mars. We don't talk
about that one. Oops. That's where I'm from,
girl. That's my home base. Maybe Jack from the
movie Titanic was real and he was a time traveler.
I can see that. He plunged us into World War
II. Plunged us into World War I, I guess. If
you're going to make a conspiracy theory, maybe
disregard that last one. Make it fun. Make it
about something fun. Lighthearted. Don't speculate
on the death of people. Yeah, like turning the
frogs gay. That's a fun one. We can all get a
laugh about that. And on that note, chicken chow
mein. And on that note, we're out. Peace out,
Girl Scouts. Bye.