And I'm pretty sure that, uh, Kamiya gave me
pink eye. Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
Welcome to the show, people. Welcome to the show.
Eat my shorts. So here is to conversation. Tranquility
Base here. Vehicle has landed. Alright, welcome
to the Cash Exchange. Welcome. Three things for...
this week. What do you got? What do spending,
waiting, and chafing have in common? Spending,
waiting, and chafing? And chafing. My first thought
was a Black Friday sale. One of the worst maladies
a heavyset person could endure. Not even heavyset.
You have to be like rail thin in order not to
chafe. To never run the risk of chafing. I work
outside and I work in shorts and One thing that
I thought was... Must be nice. It's not. It's
genuinely miserable. But one thing that I thought
was common knowledge that I didn't realize wasn't
until this job was that you can use cornstarch
to prevent chub rub. Yeah, to cake it all up.
And then at the end of the day, you can make
some cornbread muffins. I rescind that fun fact
of the podcast. That is horrifying. Spending,
waiting, chafing. I still want to go with a Black
Friday sale. You know when you're waiting outside?
You can chafe in the cold, right? Is that the
same terminology? I don't know. Maybe. I guess
if it's so dry and frozen. That they start rubbing
together and get irritated. I guess that would
be a form of chafing, yeah. I guess because you
can chafe from not enough moisture and then you
can chafe from too much moisture. But I definitely
think heat chafing is worse than anything you
would deal with in the cold. Oh, for sure. I
say that like I've ever really spent time in
the cold. Black Friday used to be my thing. And
then they kept moving it earlier and earlier.
I remember there was one time we... I left dinner
at like 5 p .m. to go get in line at Best Buy,
and I was there until 6 o 'clock the next morning.
Don't suggest it. Very cold. You make some weird
friends. This year was the first year I did it
again, but I just Lowe's opened at 5, and I got
there at 1, 1 or 2, and there wasn't even...
that many people there so i i would have been
fine just getting there right but you know i
uh met some people that i'll never talk to again
and i'll always have the memories so i i think
there was a sweet spot for black friday when
it was between the like people that were getting
trampled over razor scooters and like where we're
at now where it's just generally depressing like
the last time that i went to walmart or like
a group like a retail store On Black Friday,
I did not realize it was Black Friday. They just
had a bunch of things in the aisles and stuff
that were celebrating. There was the amount of
people that were generally in that retail store.
In a Walmart. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty sad that
it's not an epidemic, but that's something that'll
come into play later during this episode. Which
brings me back to the topic of this episode.
And this week, it is theme parks. Okay. What
is your most recent experience with a theme park?
So I was thinking about this earlier when I was
trying to get my skeleton for this episode, and
I don't really know the last time I was at a
theme park. I would guess that my last one was
Scarborough Fair, and I don't know if those count
as theme parks. They're themed. There's activities
and stuff, but I don't know if I would consider
that one. Because I think the cutoff for me would
be like something with rides. I don't know if
that's like an actual designation for a theme
park, but I think the Renaissance Fair is where
my last theme park visit would be. So in that
case, would a fair, a county fair, state fair
be a theme park? I don't think so, but I couldn't
tell you why. I think that I would think that
a theme park has to be a place with. Bigger rides
and possibly shows, but also a permanent place.
Okay, yeah. So, like, it's a location that is
just used for this theme park, even if it's not
open year -round. I think, in that case, then,
like, Scarborough Fair would be sort of a theme
park, because it is most of the time that. And
then it gets, like, Spirit Halloweened in October
for screams. I've never been. I've never been
to a Renaissance. It was a lot of fun and also
really disgusting when we went because we went
in May, I believe. And it was 102 degrees, I
believe, outside. I went with a group of friends
and we got a picture like as we walked in. And
that was the last time we could take a picture
because we were all just. sweating through very
thin polyester clothes. Did you get a flagon
of mead? Nate was deciding whether or not he
wanted to buy one of those big horns, which would
be very fun for our neighbors. It would be great.
What was the thing that Mosby had? The spiky
ball on the chain? Mace. Mace, yeah. Was it that
or was it the one on the stick? That he ran through
the wall. A flail? It was a mace. Because he
had the stick and then the ball went through
the ceiling. Yeah. Oh, wait. Is the flail the
one on the chain or is it the mace? I don't know
my medieval weaponry. I think the mace is on
the chain. Okay. I don't know. But anyway, my
final answer is the Renaissance Fair. Yeah. I'll
have to try it out. It has a reputation. that
I don't think I've been willing to overcome.
But if you've got relatively high praise for
just not the weather, then I'd give it a try.
If you go to the Renaissance Festival, I recommend
doing the one in Houston instead. I've never
been, but I did watch the documentary about it.
It's like an entire city, essentially, unto itself.
It's in November, so you get to completely sidestep
the disgusting weather. It's probably like 80
degrees outside. Hmm. Okay. And it is enormous.
Yeah. Growing up, I mean, we always had a huge
theme park not too far. Do you remember? Do you
have any memories from Six Flags? Not a ton of
them. I know we always had the season passes,
and I, like, remember. bits and pieces of, like,
Holiday in the Park, and I almost said Boo with
the Zoo. That's definitely wrong. Fright Fest.
Fright Fest, yeah. Like, I remember more of the
events and stuff that they did more so than the
rides. I was only really a fan of one of the,
like, bigger rides anyway. Which one? The Batman.
Batman? Oh, the Dangler? You know the story about
the ride like that? It was at a different Six
Flags? But a kid lost his head. He climbed over
two fences to go get it back and got his head
kicked off. Yeah. That's... It's not funny, but
it's a little funny. No. Anyway, the reason that
I like the Batman ride... If it was like a knee
-high sign saying, hey, don't go over this. Like,
don't be an idiot. Come on. And then it's not.
It's an eight -foot -high fence. And then...
You're immediately met with another fence that
said, hey, come on, seriously, don't do this.
This is dumb. And then you jump that one. That's
where you start to get into the realm of it being
funny. It is both tragic and natural selection
at work. I wrote that with a friend in high school,
middle school, and he lost his phone out of his
pocket. But he wasn't dumb enough to climb over
the fences to get it. We just had to wait there
until the end of the night when they did their
checks, and then he was able to get it back.
No, I remember Six Flags. I spent a lot of time
there. Over the summer, our mom worked, and then
our dad was off Tuesdays and Thursdays. So usually
every Tuesday, he would take me and some friends
up to Six Flags, and we'd just hang out there
the whole day, cause some mischief, and then
get picked back up later on. Yeah. And, uh, no,
I got a lot of good memories from Six Flags,
but I think the last time that I've been there,
the last time we went was for Fright Fest and
we didn't really ride any of the big stuff. And
it just, it had a different aura about it. I
don't know if I was just different because I
was older and a lot of that stuff just made me
nauseous now. But, uh, it just. It just didn't
have the same vibe to it. And I didn't feel like
the crowd was the same that it used to be either.
I could see that. I think the kind of downfall
of a lot of theme parks is just that they like
they're obviously capitalist pits. But at a certain
point, I think the the fun to money ratio is
off. And so, like, it's harder for, like, teenagers
and stuff to go have fun at Six Flags because
it's very, very expensive to exist there. Yeah,
I don't even know what a season pass would be
now. It's north of $100. Yeah. There used to
be a trick where if you went in, and I'm pretty
sure the statute of limitations is up on this,
so they can't do anything to me. But if you went
in for, like... If you went in with like your
school and so you got a free ticket through them
or if it was like bring a friend day for someone
with a season pass, then you could just go up
to like any register and say, hey, can I upgrade
to a season pass? Can I upgrade my ticket to
a season pass? Sometimes they would ask you for,
OK, well, can I see your ticket from today? And
then you would just have to say, oh, I lost it
and then move on. Go ask someone for their ticket
stub and then go. Or they wouldn't even ask you
at all. And then you'd pay like, it was like
maybe 20, 30 more dollars for the season pass.
So you get a season pass for 30 bucks. But I
highly doubt that works anymore. I don't think
it works. No, not when everything's on your phone.
Yeah. Show me someone with the ticket stub. But
it's not just the fact that I'm older. It's also,
I just think that this experience as a whole
is just crappier. I can see that. When we were
at Fright Fest, they... had a they have a big
theater building and I remember we went to multiple
shows throughout the years that and it was a
4d theater like there was a dinosaur one there
was a spongebob one there was uh I thought of
it earlier today but I can't remember what it
is now but now all that's taken out and it's
just like a one of those rides like they have
at Disney World with Buzz Lightyear where you
just shoot stuff Oh, okay. Yeah. And so they
don't have the 4D theater anymore. Yeah. And
the ride kept breaking down. It broke down like
two or three times while we were in line. They
used to have this elevator ride that would take
you up and then drop you down and then you'd
land like on your back. And that was cool. But
they took that one out. Which one was that one?
It was right there by the 4D theater. And right
next to that big raft ride. Okay. Yeah, I don't
know if you would have ever ridden that, because
they took that out probably, I don't know, when
I was maybe a freshman, sophomore. Okay. Then
yeah, I definitely didn't ride that. Yeah, and
then around that time, they also had this big
push for taking out the stuff that had been there
a while and replacing it with these smaller,
crappy... vomit comet rides like it seems like
the judge roy scream has stayed yeah the judge
roy scream has stood the test of time but that
thing will snap your neck if you're not careful
they recently took out the toboggan ride and
they're replacing it with something else and
it hasn't been built yet but they put in like
five of these things that just whip you around
And scramble up your brains in lieu of one of
the bigger rides. I don't even remember which
one it was. Oh, Flashback. Flashback. It was
the one that pulled you back. You went through
it. You went up a hill and then it sent you back
down backwards. Flashback got rebranded, right?
As like the Joker or the Riddler or something?
No, they took it out completely. Oh. And then
replaced it with all the Batman themed stuff.
That just wants you to just throw up. Yeah. That's
the entire goal of those rides. They're not fun.
That's really lame. Yeah. I know that one of
the problems that they're having is being able
to, Six Flags in particular, I mean, this is
the one that's closest to me, so this is the
one I get the news about, but they're constantly
trying to hire people. They can't keep people
employed there because no one wants to work there.
I mean, that's mostly like a teen job anyway,
right? I don't feel like that's usually a thing
with a lot of tenure. But before, it was never
an issue of, oh, well, we can't operate this
ride because we literally don't have anyone to
operate it, which is something that's all over
TikTok, and it's not just Six Flags. It's a lot
of the theme parks. But they'll go and they'll
complain that all this stuff is closed, and they
said that the reason is that there's no one to
operate it. And so you go there, you pay the
full ticket price, and then you only are able
to ride like half the stuff. It's like going
into one of those decrepit old malls where the
chains are down on half of the stores. Yeah.
Yeah, there's an actual person in the store like
every five slots. Okay. And it's just, it's a
ghost town. Like, don't get me wrong. Before,
some of those lines were god -awful. And waiting
there for... An hour and 45 minutes for a three
-minute ride doesn't sound like the best, but
now you can just walk up and be on the ride,
and then this long queue to get in, you get on
the ride, and then this long queue to get out
because they're expecting there to just be hundreds
of people, and it does take away from the experience.
There should be a happy medium to where maybe
you wait 30 minutes for a ride and then get on
and then get off. go about your day, go find
something else to do. But it just, I think it
just takes away a lot of the magic. Yeah. I personally
think it's a little bit dumb that a lot of these
theme parks and stuff like Disney has their magic
pass. Six Flags has like the flash pass and stuff
where you can just pay like an exorbitant amount
of money to skip the lines. Like that's part
of the experience. It's not a great part of the
experience, but you're supposed to wait on those
lines. Disney now is the genie pass. Genie pass,
yeah. And it used to be. You could just walk
up to a ride and there would be a kiosk there.
They would say the wait is this amount of time.
You ask for a voucher. It gives you a time to
come back. And then you still have to wait like
30 minutes. Yeah. But now you pay per person.
And then I think there's a limit on how many
rides you can do with the Genie Pass. And it's
like crazy expensive. I got a breakdown. I got
a breakdown of Disney World prize and updated
because I know we've gone there before, but this
is an updated Disney World. Trip. Breakdown.
Later. What about SeaWorld? What do you remember
from SeaWorld? I remember going to SeaWorld,
I think, more than, or probably as much as I
remember going to Six Flags, even though we went
fewer times. Because that was our yearly vacation
was to San Antonio for SeaWorld. And I do remember
a lot of the Orca shows and stuff, which thankfully
are no longer a thing. Are they? Are they still
a thing? Oh, well, I got a story to tell you.
That's nuts. I thought after Blackfish, they
stopped doing all of the shows. I mean, I know
they can't really release them back into captivity,
but, or into the wild. Into the wild. From captivity.
Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember our first encounter
with Shamu? Maybe. I do. I remember it was you,
me, mom, dad, and we whined like hell to get
in the splash zone. And I think we eventually
got them to agree to sit like in like one of
like the topper quarter of the splash zone. Yeah.
But that wasn't good enough for us. So we wanted
to, we really wanted to make sure we got the
full experience and into the show comes and we
get hit. And we were both just so pissed that
this giant whale had the audacity to give us
the exact thing that we moved into that section
to receive. And I think, I remember. I know I
was pissed. I think you might have started crying.
That sounds right. I think I remember what you're
talking about. And then the whole time mom and
dad are just saying, well, we told you. You knew
what was going to happen. But you're our parents.
You're supposed to guide us. If we're making
a stupid decision, you're supposed to say, hey,
maybe don't. No. As long as it's not going to
actively hurt you, let your kid do the dumb thing.
Okay. Well, that's how they learn. That's another
thing. I also have. a story to tell you about,
and I'll go ahead and get into it. So we just
came back from SeaWorld. We spent some time in
San Antonio, and pretty much I had some work
to do, but the rest of it was surrounded around
taking the kids to SeaWorld. And so we get there,
we park, and first off, it's easy to get tickets
cheap now because of Blackfish and because of
all the negative press they have. And Blackfish
has definitely taken a heavy toll. on the attendance
at SeaWorld. And so you don't deal with crowds
anywhere. If you're going to wait in line for
something, it's maybe two or three people. And
so the tickets were listed at like $90 a piece
on their website for one day for one adult. Groupon
to the rescue, and we ended up paying, what was
it, $30 a ticket? Oh, wow. Okay. But then you
pay for parking, which was $26. And so, I mean,
the whole thing, it was cheap for an entire day
at a theme park just getting in the park. And
so that was good. We went to where they have
the dolphins. Do you remember the dolphins in
San Antonio? The, like, touch tank kind of thing?
Uh -huh. That doesn't exist anymore. Now it's
this whole built -out area. I can see why. This
whole, like, cove where these dolphins are. But
if you want to feed them or if you want to pet
them, if you want to interact with them, $170
a person. Oh, my God. What? With a wetsuit and
a trainer and all that. And I don't know how
long the experience is, but $170. And that part
you can do without a ticket to SeaWorld. So if
for whatever reason you just want to go see dolphins,
you can pay for the $26 in parking, walk in,
go to the left instead of going to the gate entrance
for SeaWorld. and you can just walk right in
go see the dolphins uh they got a really big
aquarium there with sharks and stuff in it too
that you can also do okay so that part that part
was cool it was a bummer that the the tank's
gone because you'd pay like five dollars they'd
give you a tray of fish you'd just feed them
to the dolphins you could pet them and it wasn't
an issue but now they have like this whole giant
tank and you can there's a part where you can
go under you can see them under the water and
all that i mean it's I guess it's a nicer experience
if you didn't know what was there before. Okay.
And then we walk in and we get our tickets scanned
and there is a family there with like a puppy
Labradoodle on a leash. No shoes on the dog,
no vest or anything saying that, hey, this is
a service animal or anything. So they're just
walking in with this Labradoodle with a thick
ass coat. on hot concrete all day and we thought
that was weird i don't know why that would be
allowed in the park but there is just a there's
an aura throughout the entire place of just no
one giving a shit just like just like yeah you
take what you get and then you're doing something
we're not going to say anything so we we went
about our day uh we made it to all the shows
none of them were heavily populated at all uh
plenty of plenty of seating there was a cool
acrobat show that they had uh almost watched
a guy fall to his death twice on like this spinning
wheel kind of like a hamster wheel but it had
a it was one of those those wheels but it had
the counter weight on the bottom of it so it
spun around in a circle yeah he was on top of
it and was jump roping and then his foot caught
on one of them on the rope and then almost fell
And then he was skipping on it and then almost
fell. So the kids almost witnessed a death. But
luckily, nothing happened. We went to the SeaWorld
show, or not the SeaWorld show, the Orca show.
And what it is now is it is a heavy, heavy pivot
from what it used to be. What it used to be is
like, hey, look at what we've trained these whales
to do, and we can do all this stuff with them.
And it's like shooting people up in the air like
20 feet, and they're diving back into the water.
They're like riding on the backs, holding on
to the dorsal fins and all this stuff. All that's
gone. Now it's SeaWorld cares. We care. The orcas
are the number one predator in the ocean, except
for, can you guess who? Humans. Humans have to
save the orcas. And it's just a gigantic PR pivot.
And it's so blatant and so just on the nose.
And then they're like, ooh, this is what they
do in the wild. And then Cooper asked me, why
are their fins flipped over? And I had to explain
to her, hey, well, that's just what happens whenever
they're in prison. That's what happens to orcas
in prison. She's like, are all orcas like that?
I said, no. No, just the ones that are in the
ocean. Just the ones here. And so we kind of
did the same thing. The kids really wanted to
get Splash. We, not so much. So we sat in the
top section. Now, I guess, I get it. I get what
good old John and Karen were trying to do. And
they just wanted their children to have the experience
that they wanted, but they didn't want to partake
in it that much. And so... They do the whole,
and this is how orcas hunt. And they slap the
water and all this other stuff. And so the trainers
go to each section and they're like, come over
here so that you can really get all this poop
water in your face. And so we sent the kids over
there. It was like two sections over. And they
get there right after all the water hits. We're
like, dang, all right, well. Sorry, it's probably
for the best anyways. And then they're going
to the section on our right, and then they're
going to the section across the stadium. And
then just out of nowhere, it pops up right in
front of us, completely drenches me and Emily,
and then just, like, barely skims the kids. Like,
what the hell? And so we're soaked. The kids
aren't soaked, but they're laughing because we
didn't want to get soaked. And now it's going
to be chafe city for the rest of the day. And
I remember... Corn search. A little snack afterwards.
I remember they kept talking about the whale
that is like the mom of the pod. And let me get
her name. Where is it? Kamiya. And they kept
saying this name over and over again. Like, this
is Kamiya. This is... She's going to show you
how we weigh her and all this other stuff. We
put her on a whale -sized scale. Oh, but her
tail is still in the water. How do we fix that?
And then she lifts up her head and her tail and
all this stuff, and that's nice. And it's like,
all right, thanks, Kamiya. And she goes on her
way and goes back to wherever the hell she hangs
out when she's not performing. And show's over.
Everything's fine. We're leaving. We're going
to, I think after that we went to the raft ride.
And, yeah, I mean, it was, for what it was, without
all the pomp and circumstance that it used to
have, it was a good show. We'd seen it before
spring break, either last year or the year before,
and it was fine. It was decent. It was still,
the kids were awestruck by it, and that's kind
of what you're going there for anyways. Yeah.
And so everything's... peachy keen uh we go to
the raft ride that's the only one that we had
to actually wait for i think we waited maybe
about 25 minutes for that one uh but guess who
was in front of us like four families ahead of
us it was labradoodle no in line for the raft
ride where um the dog going on the ride uh we
didn't we weren't sure but we Uh, waited there
and we were discussing it like there's, there's
no possible way this is going to happen. Like
bringing the dog into the park is one thing,
but actively putting them on a ride is a completely
different thing. Uh, they get up and they're
in the, like the little waiting area to get on
the next raft. And sure enough, no one says a
damn word about them holding this dog on the
leash and putting them in the raft. Oh my God.
And then not just that, but there's a dude there
in this group. that has a child with him that
was that they turned away that was too small
to ride and he's waiting in the exit line for
them to be done so there was someone there that
could have taken this dog and held on to it while
they were on this raft ride but instead this
family took the dog on the raft ride get off
and then the dogs like as soon as it jumped off
the raft it just starts shaking the water off
and i mean it didn't seem too phased but i still
think that that was a definite uh It's a sign
of just like, hey, that's not my job with them.
Because there was one person overseeing everything
and then two people that were actively unloading
and loading people. Plenty of people that could
have said, hey, yeah, your dog can't ride. But
it happened. Abusing your dog at SeaWorld is
kind of like putting a hat on a hat. Oh, my God.
How did no one stop them? I have no clue. Service
animal or not, I feel like that's a dicey area.
I feel like if you have a service animal, then
there's just stuff that you can't do because
you have a service animal with you, and you just
have to accept that. Right. Roller coasters seem
to be number one on that list. And then after
that, there's another one that I have vivid memories
of going to a 4D theater and remembering the
show well and it just being gone. They replaced
it with like this puppet show that's in Blacklight,
which is pretty cool. I mean, it's a pretty cool
show, but it's still, it's not the same thing.
And my member berries were going crazy while
we were sitting in there about all the times
that... Back in your old days. Yeah. We went
and checked in on the sea turtles because Max
is a huge fan of sea turtles and just turtles
in general. There was one that was just... In
the corner of the tank right against the glass,
not moving. Just a boulder there just in the
water. And then the kids were like, that one's
not real, is it? And I said, I don't know why
they would use a fake sea turtle as a decoration
to just put it in the bottom of the tank with
real sea turtles. I was like, no, that one's
definitely, definitely not a fake sea turtle.
But whether it's living or not. That's a completely
different story. Do sea turtles float? I looked
it up. Because maybe, I don't think they have
gills, but maybe they have some way of breathing
underwater. No, they breathe air. And there was
no air bubbles coming out of the sea turtle.
There was no movement at all. Eyes were closed.
Nothing. No REM eye twitches. I don't know if
turtles get that. I'm assuming they do. I'm assuming
that's just all animals. Yikes. Yeah. So we tried
to shoo the kids away from there as quickly as
possible. They went and did a ride. Me and Emily
were sitting down and we were talking about it.
And I was looking it up because I was like, I
mean, they definitely breathe air. So there's
no way that they can just lay there at the bottom
just indefinitely and still be alive. Emily got
concerned enough that she asked someone. The
guy just kind of like laughed it off and was
like, oh. Yeah, that was Big Mama. She does that
sometimes. What? Oh, okay. And apparently, I
had to look this up. This wasn't something that
came from a SeaWorld trainer, which if you're
going to be hanging around this tank where this
sea turtle looks definitely dead, then maybe
this is a little factoid you should throw out.
And now everyone who listens to this will know
that when sea turtles decide to take a nap, they
can do some process to where they can hold their
breath for up to four hours. Okay. And so apparently
that's what this one was doing. We thought maybe
he was just lying and just trying to cover it
up, and they were just going to get that turtle
out of there before anyone else made a statement,
a stink about it. But we went back and checked
on her, and she was starting to wake up. So not
dead, but definitely looked dead. Big Mama is
still alive. Big Mama is still with us. Yeah,
I think I already mentioned it, but it's a ghost
town. It was like the shows were empty, and especially
for the shows where they have like the acrobats
and stuff, and there's no other animals, so all
the attention is on these people, and you're
performing for like maybe 40 people. It's just
I don't think that that is... Where are you expected
to land when you flunked out of Disney World
School or University, whatever it's called? What?
Performers were good? They had so much potential.
They did. Unfortunately, it was built on a very
awful premise. I didn't get the chance to ask
anyone about Blackfish. I don't know if that's
taboo to bring up to an employee of SeaWorld,
but I'd be interested to know what their take
was. There's no way that they're not trained
when they get hired on how to respond to questions
like that. Yeah. Because they can't they can't
risk any hourly employee getting asked that question
and then actually responding in a way that is
not sanctioned by SeaWorld. Yeah. Yeah. So I
didn't I didn't get around to that. But rest
of the day was pretty cool. The end. The last
show of the night was a show with jet skis and
a rock band and pyrotechnics and fireworks. Definitely
seemed like it was above the budget. of what
SeaWorld is working with these days, but it was
real cool. They even had one of those water jetpacks
that a guy was using and doing flips and stuff
in it. I had no idea that those worked off of
jet ski engines, because the whole time he's
up there, there's these tubes that are connected
to a jet ski, and the jet ski's just following
him around, just idling in the water. Oh, yeah.
Okay. So that was pretty neat. Yeah. Afterwards,
my eye got super duper red and I'm pretty sure
that Kamiya gave me pink eye. Oh. So that was
real fun. But then, but then I inadvertently
got my revenge because two days later. What did
you do to the whale? Two days later, it was announced
that Kamiya had been battling a disease and succumbed
to that disease. Oh my gosh. Two days after we
were there. Good lord. That place is having a
rough time. They can't get any more orcas, right?
They can't get any more, no. I don't think they
were able to breed either. I mean, it would be
inbreeding that can't be good for them. Because
I'm pretty sure most of those orcas are related.
So, I don't know. But, I mean, SeaWorld definitely
won't be around for... My kids' kids, my grandkids.
Yeah. And a little quick fact, a little DFW fun
fact. Did you know that we had a SeaWorld -type
place in Arlington? I did not. Yeah, it's across
from where Hurricane Harbor is now. When was
this? That whole area was like 80s. Interesting.
I want to say like late 70s, early 80s. It didn't
last very long. There's a hotel there now and
a whole bunch of parking lots. That are slowly
getting taken over by e -sports arenas and new
ballparks and all that jazz. But yeah, we used
to have dolphins and whales and all that kind
of stuff right in our backyard. Interesting.
Would you ever go back to SeaWorld? I would,
but I think my case with a lot of the theme parks
and stuff is that I probably wouldn't go back
unless I had kids with me. Because I don't really
see as much of a draw. anymore I think it'd be
cool to see a lot of that stuff as like a one
-off but it's always tough to to reconcile what
a lot of those places are these days versus what
they exist as nostalgically yeah which granted
I don't have the clearest memories of them anyway
but like I think that it would be probably better
to leave them them as is in the same way that
like I I got um zebra cakes which were, like,
my absolute favorite of the, like, snack cake,
snack foods growing up. I got one of them sometime
last year, and I was just like, it's been forever.
I want to try it. I got one bite in and got immediately
nauseous. I don't know if the recipe's changed,
if I've changed. It was so sickeningly sweet.
Yeah. Yeah, who knows, man? Who knows? Last one
I got here is the Mecca. Of all theme parks.
Disney World. The House of Mouse. Have you been?
I have not. I went to, when I was in California,
I went to the Anaheim Disney tour. The City Walk
thing. There's a name for it, I don't remember.
It used to be Pleasure Pier, but I think they
changed that. Downtown Disney. Yeah, I don't
think that's what it's called. Downtown Disney,
yeah. I went to that. City Walk is universal.
Isn't that the Chinese restaurant in South Park?
Shiwak? Almost. Shiwak. I've only been there
once. I went there in 2010 with the band. The
marching band. You went to Disney World, right?
Not Land? Yes, I went to Disney World. 16 hours
on a charter bus. Sounds like fun. Got there
late. Almost missed the bus. And then, I guess
mom would have to like... drive me to wherever
they decided to stop the first time so I could
get on. Yeah, that'd be insane. I made it. And
I didn't get to sit next to my boo thing. No?
Which, probably for the best. That seems like
a good idea on the teacher's behalf. There had
been incidents before I got there that led to
that being a non -starter. Shh. Sure, a bus full
of 17 -year -olds aren't known to behave. And
I made it very clear that I was only riding this
ride until I got to go to Disney World and then
I was out. And then so was she. And so we weren't
the golden children. Sure. So we didn't get much
leeway given to us. But it was fun from what
I remember of it. The bus ride seemed to fly
by. This was before good internet on our phones,
so it was a lot of portable DVD players and Game
Boy and PSP stuff. But as far as the park itself,
I don't remember much about it. I know that the
fireworks shows were pretty spectacular. I remember...
I remember some of the stuff from Animal Kingdom.
Don't remember much from Magic Kingdom. But all
together, I mean, it was a pretty, it was a good
trip from what I remember. I got a whole bunch
of super blurry, super crappy pictures that I
took on a BlackBerry while I was there. Oh, nice.
Okay. A BlackBerry Pearl. So I have those, but
like I said, I don't. Maybe I can run them through
some software and get them touched up. Get AI
to generate a scenario for you like it does with
everyone on TikTok these days. Yeah. Yeah, speaking
of, I tried to get, because I see these baby
TikTok things everywhere. And so I tried to do,
can I have your number? Yeah. And I got still
images. of the, I'll send them to you right now.
I got still images of Darrell and Yvonne and
they turned out great, but I couldn't get it
to make the video. And then I looked it up and
apparently there's like all this extra stuff
you have to do through all these other like generative
video AI software nonsense, silliness. Okay.
So I didn't go through with it. But look how
good these pictures turned out. I just sent them
to your phone. Really the only issue. Oh, she
is. She is not working that up to you. No, I
tried to do one. I said, give her a high ponytail.
And yeah, it didn't pan out. But overall, those
are real good. I don't like that they have the
right number of fingers. I mean, that's AI now,
man. You can't even tell if Will Smith is actually
eating that spaghetti. But I'm going to post
these on Instagram and see if someone can give
me some guidance on how I can turn that whole
skit into baby AI. I feel like we could incorporate
that into our Instagram posts for the three lines.
I don't know how, but I think there's a way.
Hmm. Well... You think on it. You give me your
ideas. So one thing I wish I had done at Disney
World that I know I didn't was the Hall of Presidents.
Do you have any interest in going and seeing
the Hall of Presidents? I think it would be cool
to see, but it wouldn't be high on my priority
list. Okay, if you were going to Disney World,
what would be your number one thing you have
to do first? I think Space Mountain would be
really cool. I think that like doing the food
tours of Disney would be really fun. Yeah. Because
a lot of what I've seen of the parks, that's
not necessarily as like child centric is the
food. Yeah. And so I think it would be really
cool to do like the, like drinks around Epcot
kind of thing, or like a food tour of all of
the, like the gray stuff from beauty and the
beast, which is supposed to be foie gras. And
it's definitely not at the Disney parks. Cause
that would be monumentally problematic. The gray
stuff. Yeah. What was that? So, uh, the gray
stuff it's in, it's part of the lyrics of be
our guest. It's essentially like, it looks kind
of gross. Um, but it's one of those like things
that, uh, it's technically foie gras. And so
it's supposed to be like the, the delicacy in
bell's feast in be our guest. But the Disney
parks, because... Duck liver. Huh? No, duck liver.
Yeah. And it is abusive. Like, it shouldn't.
It's not ethically okay. But what Disney World
and Disneyland did instead was they made it like
a Oreo whipped mousse. And it looks really good.
Or like the beignets from Princess and the Frog,
which is, for the record, my favorite Disney
movie. So you're a fan of the Splash Mountain
overlay? I would like to do Splash Mountain and
like a couple of the rides and stuff like Tower
of Terror would be cool. Would you have done
it if it was still Br 'er Rabbit and all the
Song of the South stuff? Would you still do Splash
Mountain? I'm glad they've gotten with the times.
I don't think that I would if it were racism
themed. Yeah. A lot of people were up in arms
about it. I don't really care. I liked Princess
and the Frog, so I'm fine with it, but... Oh
boy, was it a talking point for lots of a certain
side of TikTok and Instagram and Twitter? I think
I would really like going on the rides where
it's more like animatronics focused than like
big drops and scary things. Like a lot of the
whiplashy kind of stuff. Like the animatronic
that they use in like the OG Expedition Everest
would have been really cool before they had to
like cement the Yeti to... the thing so that
he didn't fall because he was literally crumbling
the foundation yeah or the um they have like
an avatar ride in one of them where they have
like a knobby shaman that looks creepily real
it's so cool to see i did watch it break down
on camera like on a tiktok video once yeah and
it made me like it gave me goosebumps did not
like that there's a uh channel on youtube called
tpm vids and they do a lot of disney breakdowns
ride breakdowns and like turning on the house
lights and you get to see everything behind the
scenes yeah so you should check some of those
out if uh if you want to have trouble sleeping
if you have a problem with broken down animatronics
do you prefer the the like original like maybe
like uncanny face movements or do you do you
like the ones that just have the faces projected
onto them i i don't know that i've seen enough
of both sides to have a good like frame of reference
for the the difference but i think i would opt
for the projected ones where it's a little bit
more like realistic yeah a little bit more of
that like uncanny valley kind of thing yeah i
haven't seen the project uh i saw mr potato head
he was a projected face But I haven't seen, like,
while you're in the rides, because the Mr. Potato
ride was at the end of the ride. It was, like,
when you're exiting into the gift shop. I haven't
seen the actual, like, during the ride ones that
have the face projections. Okay. I think the
only, like, downside with doing the animatronic
rides is that a lot of them are water -based.
And when they're water -based... they tend to
be for some reason the ones that people decide
to spread their loved ones into. That is correct.
That is genuinely horrifying. I don't know what
the thought process is behind I'm going to spread
my loved ones ashes at Disneyland or Disney World.
Is it just because of Walt Disney being frozen
on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? Maybe.
Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe it's just... Conspiracy!
It's an easy way to just do it without... You
think that there are less eyes on you because
you're in the dark. That is 100 % not true. Yeah.
Ooh. Which, I mean... It's not a bad theory.
Whether you believe that it is true or not, whether
you believe that they did it because Walt's head
is in there, people do search Walt Disney and
Frozen together. So this would be a way to deter
just even just to get the rumor to go away. So
it could, it could, I don't think that it was,
if there's any truth to it, and there might be
a sliver, and it might just be a happy coincidence
afterwards that it happened this way, but I don't
think it was because, oh, they're on to us, we
gotta divert the attention. I think it was like,
hey, I'm sick of hearing this rumor. So maybe
instead of calling this movie Ice Princesses,
we can just call it Frozen. I don't know. Yeah.
Brave up. I'm sure that did. Yeah. Oh, don't
even get me started on adjectives. You're going
to get me all riled up again. All right, you
ready for the cost breakdown? Okay, so I looked
up for five days. Yeah. For three children. I
mean, they did adopt a pretty common naming practice
for a minute there. How much do you think it
is per child? Frozen, there was brave, there
was tangled, there was... other ones that I'm
sure I can't think of right now where it was
just like the one adjective you don't want to
spend all day at Epcot which who does you could
just shoot over to Magic Kingdom Animal Kingdom
whatever how much is that for one day for one
or for five days for one child no 368 it's 1104
for three children though For two adults, it
is $1 ,520. So for three kids, two adults, five
days, just to get into these parks, just to have
the ability to leave one park and go to another
one in the same day, you are spending $2 ,624.
Before food, before souvenirs, before hotel,
before gas, before anything else, flights. So
$26 ,000 plus $100. What's the discount for in
-state? Do you know? I know they get a pretty
hefty discount on season passes. I wonder what
the discount is for tickets. I remember when
I went for training for somewhere, this guy was
from Ocala, which is outside of Orlando. Theoretically
speaking, if you just had Florida Project kids,
you could just let them loose in the Disney World
for only a couple hundred bucks. That's dope.
Free your children in the park. And it blew my
mind that someone could have Disney World season
passes. But I know people here in Texas that
have Disney season passes. And I just, I don't
understand how a corporation can have that much
of a hold on you. That you have to, that you're
willing to spend that, and then not just that,
but then all the travel to get there and back
every time to make it worth your while. Can you
give us a little tease? That's nuts. Yeah. What?
I will say I do have a lot of thoughts when it
comes to Disney adults, which I think we had
as set as a separate episode. I do have a lot
of thoughts when it comes to that. Okay, this
might be narrowing it down a little bit too much.
I think if you base your entire personality and
every one of your hobbies and things off of you
liking one specific set of IP, if you have just
like drank the Kool -Aid like that. It's a problem.
I think that you should address it. And maybe
that's me being small -minded because these people
are in it for the artistry of Disney. Or they're
in it for the nostalgia of all the movies that
they grew up with. I'm sure there's logic behind
it. But I think it's insane if you are basing
your entire existence to some extent on something.
Some specific set of characters. Absolutely.
Yes. And it's all the, ooh, look how dark and
brooding and gothy I am. This is my favorite
movie. Absolutely. Yeah. absolutely using that
as a catch -all for people who have that kind
of like I think it feels like a like kind of
addictive personality situation because there
are people that are just so head over heels for
like Nightmare Before Christmas I just grow up
or there's like broaden your horizons a little
bit yeah but overall it's a good movie but the
people who refuse to just like, like a thing
so much so that they have to obsess over it instead.
It's like, I don't understand. We try to keep
this at a PG 13. How we get from point A to point
B. You tell him. Yeah. Ah. Well, overall, I think
that... Maybe that's the episode Nate and I will
tackle. I think that they're on their way out,
and I don't know what's going to replace them.
And other one -trick ponies. Maybe it's just
a bunch of dummies in virtual reality goggles
just bumping into each other. Who knows? I mean,
they're Disney adults. I think the IP itself
is pretty mild. I think the discussion around
them can be equally as mild. Doesn't seem like
there's going to be any bright lights on their
horizon. Because the food's expensive and it's
garbage. The tickets are expensive when... You
don't know day to day what you're actually going
to get if you're going to get the full experience
or if you're going you're planning all this stuff
out and then ends up that half the stuff you
can't even do because of this, that or the other.
The rides are gradually just becoming these like
carnival style. Seems like they're about to be
dismantled and driven down the highway to the
next place. and uh yeah just the amount of stuff
that you used to get before for way cheaper but
now you're paying way more to to get there and
then once you get in you have to pay all this
extra stuff like the like the genie pass or the
flash pass whatever you want to call it the give
me a rsvp so i don't have to wait here and i
can actually enjoy this time that i have here
Or the dolphin experience, which, sure, I get
that that's problematic, but it's still a thing.
Giving someone, going from $5 to the same experience
except standing in the water with them, with
one of the most, besides humans, one of the most
rapey mammals in the entire animal kingdom. Like,
maybe that barrier was a good thing before. but
now having to pay 170 dollars per person in order
to feed the fish and potentially be assaulted
like that just it it just ruins it and so like
i said i don't i don't know what the future for
theme parks is but it does not look good Yeah.
Tokyo. Yeah. I... Yeah. This is gonna be entirely
speculative because I've not been to... a theme
park in another country but i think american
theme parks are on their way out i don't think
theme parks as a general are because if you see
the things that are happening with like disney
and paris or um i think there's one in hong kong
maybe um or like the universal land or the hello
kitty land and things that are in japan like
those things are they look incredible They look
like they have so much just like artistry and
craft behind them in a way that I think Americans
don't necessarily have anymore. And like the,
I've been looking at, there's one in Dubai, I
think. I don't think it's universe. I think it's
like Lionsgate, which is a super weird choice.
But they have like Hunger Games and stuff. And
a bunch of other Lionsgate IPs. And that all
ties back into nostalgia and just remakes. I
would go on. Now the rides are remakes too. The
rides are just rehashings of what came before
it. But I think that it's just American consumers
are stretched pretty thin. And more is being
asked of them without more being given to them.
And so I think that the future of the theme parks,
the future of theme parks is international. It
all seems so dated. Even the new stuff just seems
like, OK, well, this is already like this has
been around forever. And now you're just now
getting it. Like, why wouldn't you just try to
innovate something new? Yeah. I think that's
kind of a cynical way to look at it. I don't
think the point of it, from my perspective, is
to be the latest and greatest necessarily because
I think you can still create that kind of magic.
Don't get me wrong, I have no idea what technology
goes behind the Na 'vi shaman and the avatar
ride. But I think being able to do something
that's a little bit more analog and a little
bit less... Amazing things that you'll see on
your phone all of the time. If you see it in
person, I think it's still different. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh -huh. I could see that. I think that the issue
with Six Flags specifically is that their IP
is also a little overplayed. Because most of,
not to dig on DC or Looney Tunes or any of that
kind of stuff, but it's also everywhere. Like
it's been licensed out to people. and like theme
parks companies whatever it was just uh we have
a very very long time we want to put in a water
right and it's hard for it to not seem a little
bit stale yeah when they're using things that
are not even a part of necessarily the the zeitgeist
anymore like they have an aquaman ride the how
long was the period before jason momoa becoming
aquaman show where that right is justice league
And it was still a pretty crappy movie. Two pretty
crappy movies. So like, he doesn't seem having
his own ride worthy, if I'm being honest. But
the rest of the rides are just screens. So, yeah.
Right. That's what Six Flags has kind of always
felt like. Okay. Yeah. That sucks. That was a
lot of the problem that I had with Universal.
Because I went back in 2018, I think. And the
problem with Universal was that all of the rides
were the 4D rides. I think we went on one actual
roller coaster and that was for Jurassic Park.
But the rest of them, like the Simpsons ride
was cool, but it was just a 4D. I've never been
to Universal. Like you were in a roller coaster
cart, but you weren't doing an actual roller
coaster thing. Same with like the Despicable
Me one. Very into it. Honestly, I don't remember
what all is a part of the... I think the Indiana
Jones and the Harry Potter stuff were different.
But the Harry Potter line was absolutely insane.
It was not worth going into the line for that
one. Heading out the door, too. Yeah. Which wasn't
actually really interesting. You got anything
else to add? It was cool. The Simpsons area was
awesome. I don't know if that is a thing that's
awesome in the sense that it was just really
well built or if it was just a thing I was super
nostalgic for. You guessed right. Yeah. So, I
don't know. But I really liked it. Yeah. I do.
So when I was looking at stuff for this episode,
I kind of figured that you would take the...
Six Flags, Disneyland, and SeaWorld route. It's
gross, but it's not grosser. I picked a couple
of different ones. First up is water parks. Water
parks are theme parks that gross me out. I don't
want to be in person soup with the general public.
I know that a good amount of this is just my
own inability to swim, which makes these places
decidedly less fun. Water parks are disgusting.
I mean, I guess there's probably more cleaning
staff, but if they don't have enough people to
operate the rides at Six Flags, I'm not trusting
them to not cut corners where it counts at the
Hurricane Harbor. It's pretty crazy. Can't do
it. Won't do it. The other thing, so I have gone
down this rabbit hole a time or two over the
years of abandoned theme parks. I think it's
fascinating in the same way that like. In apocalypse
movies and stuff, you see like nature take back
over all of these man -made structures. And I
always think that's really cool because the time
frame for like the time frame between skyscrapers
to everything getting reclaimed by nature is
shockingly short if there aren't people to maintain
them. And one of the things, one of the most
infamous abandoned theme parks is the Six Flags
in New Orleans. Because they built it, they finished
it in, I want to say, 2004, and they were trying
to open it in 2005. But unfortunately, because
of what happened to New Orleans in 2005, it just
laid completely abandoned for almost 20 years.
Yeah, almost 20 years. because they are in the
process of demolishing it right now so that they
can build an entertainment complex. It's worth
checking out. It's maybe an hour or 20 long.
Oh. I thought that that was... I might be thinking
of a different one. There's a lot of, a lot of
movies that have been shot there. One of the
Percy Jackson's was shot there. Uh, one of the
Jurassic worlds, maybe multiple Jurassic worlds
were shot there. Uh, yeah. Anytime they needed
a, uh, yeah, like a desolate rundown area. That's
where they would, they would shoot. Yep. Okay.
Okay. Yeah. I'll definitely, definitely check
that out. I remember reading that story on, I
assume Reddit like a very long time ago. But
yeah, they're finally demolishing it so that
they can build something over it this year. It's
funny because when they show Chernobyl, that's
usually the vantage point they show it from.
Like you have the rides or like the Ferris wheel
or merry -go -round in the foreground. And then
behind it is just this sea of trees and just
decay. Interesting. I'll have to look into that.
Also, the Pripyat amusement park that's in Chernobyl
is in... Or that they lost to Chernobyl was an
interesting... It's interesting to look at. I
spent a little time digging on Atlas Obscura
this morning. Yeah. Is Gulliver still there?
He was like 40 feet long. I also had a couple
of weird choices for amusement parks in general
listed out. Do you remember, I don't know if
you were on the site of the internet, the Gulliver's
Travels theme park that they did in Japan? That
was a... I don't think so. I think he's been
completely overtaken or fully demolished at this
point. Because the... The theme park itself ran
from 97 to 2001. And it hit a pretty steady downhill
slide because, shockingly, not a lot of people
have read that book. There's not a lot of intersection
in the Venn diagram of people who have read Gulliver's
Travels and the people who go to theme parks
and would be willing to... God, that was not
a good movie. It was... Yeah, I don't think that
Gulliver is still standing. Or the gayest thing
you could do. It was demolished in 07. I said,
or the gayest thing you could do. There are still
active... You'll never catch me at Dickens World.
There are still active theme parks for Gulliver's
travels in the UK. Why do people keep trying
to make this happen? Stop it. On top of that,
I have Dickens World in Kent. Which sounds like
the most British thing that you could possibly
do is open a theme park that includes a boat
ride through a Victorian sewer. Huh? Do they
have Tiny Tim hobbling around? Sure. With his
Christmas ham? No one's 100 % straight, Caden.
Anyway. It contains a boat ride through a Victorian
sewer, a haunted house, and a Victorian school
room. To which, who would pay for that? Who is
this for? It included other things, but those
are just the most haunted things I could think
of that you would add to a theme park. It's ridiculous.
I believe that one closed in 2016? I didn't write
that down. It's just Peter Dinklage because he
doesn't support any other little people doing
things like that. There's a name for the love
of abandoned places or the study of abandoned
places and I could not for the life of me figure
out what it is. I know that word exists. If any
of our listeners can tell me, I would be greatly
appreciated. I would crash pretty hard early
on. I think so, but there's... I don't know.
I looked around for a little bit and could not
for the life of me find it. What I did find,
though, is there's a word called canopsia. Canopsia?
One of the two. And it is the eerie atmosphere
of a place that should be bustling with people
that is now abandoned, which accurately describes
liminal spaces. Which I also find, yeah, I like
liminal spaces as a rabbit hole thing. I don't
want to be in one, but I think they're interesting
to look at. Oh, yeah, I've heard about that.
Yeah. That's fair. I think it would be really
cool to see any of those things. But I don't
think that I would want to be in one of them
for very long. There's also a mountaintop amusement
park in North Carolina that Disney is trying
to buy. It's been around since the 60s, I think.
And they've changed hands a half dozen times.
It's called Ghost Town in the Sky. And it looks
really cool. They have like a ski lift thing
that takes people up to it. But they're about
to... They closed in 2021, and Disney's trying
to buy them to start something else, maybe in
the next couple of years. I'm pretty sure it
was somewhere in Appalachia. There we go. Yeah,
because people were like, you're going to do
what now? And there was depictions of slavery
and all that kind of stuff. What? Great America.
Disney's America was proposed in Haymarket, Virginia
and never built. Yeah, I think the Civil War
Fort. They were getting backlash because they
said it would be fair to both sides. You know,
there's a lot of reasons I don't think this would
work, but they included nine distinct themed
areas, including President Square, Indigenous
Village, Ellis Island, Factory Town, Civil War
Fort, County Fair, Early 19th Century Fort, World
War II Battlefield, and Depression Era Town.
I don't think those were the most happy -go -lucky
family time kind of themes. to live the great
depression at a theme park yeah huh interesting
did you see that badass eagle that i took a picture
of you didn't see it yeah It was on my we're
on summer vacation post. Especially today. It
sounds absolutely insane that someone would want
to build an American themed theme park. And happy
early 4th of July. No matter what your general
beliefs are about the country. I don't imagine
that there would be a lot of people enjoying
themselves at Disney's America. It weighed nine
pounds, but it can lift. Up to three times its
body weight. What now? It's a good thing that
Labradoodle didn't show its face. Is it on Instagram?
It got snatched away. Yeah. So ridiculous. Oh,
wow. It's both majestic and looks a little goofy.
Well, do you have any closing words? Which feels
on brand for America. God, look at those claws.
Those talons are no joke. That is a great...
Yeah. No, it was too busy getting on the log
flume again. I'm sorry to buy two pairs, but
you're the one that wants to be a dick and bring
your dog. All right. That is all I had for theme
parks. So think of others. Think of your pets.
Spay and neuter. I can't believe that anybody
would have to say this out loud. I don't want
theme parks to go away. Don't take your dog to
theme parks. And also, if they're going to be
outside, put them in shoes. It's fun for the
whole family. So, enjoy them while you can. And
take that into all other aspects of your life.
Time with your kids. Enjoy them while you can.
You're having a nice steak. Enjoy it while you
can. Make sure that you do us a favor and give
us a five -star review on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon
Music. You can follow us at CashExchangePod on
X. TikTok is CashExchangePod. Instagram, CashExchangePodcast.
Or you can send us an email at CashExchangePod
at gmail .com. And on that... We'll see you.
Peace out, Girl Scouts.