You want Ibiza? What? This is Ibiza. This is
Ibiza? I took a pill there once. Did Avicii think
you were cool? No. Well. It was an ibuprofen.
You just had a mild headache. Fairfax. Is that
Nova Scotia? Why do all these colors have names?
They're just different scenes. Oh. Yeah, for
those listening, we're trying to get the ambiance
of the room right. Ambiance. And. There's Galaxy.
Why is that Galaxy? Starlight. I have no clue.
Blood Moon. Ooh. Arctic Aurora. This is one of
my favorite ones. Okay. Mountain Breeze. I do
not care for Mountain Breeze. It's bright. Ocean
Dawn. Frosty Dawn. Sunday Morning. Emerald Isle.
Frosty Dawn sounds like the sex act that Robin
Scherbatsky was trying to describe. Oh. Let's
find something a little more chill. I don't mind
this one. Emerald Flutter. Okay. Okay. Sure.
We'll stick with Emerald Flutter. Okay. All right.
Four's yours. Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
Welcome to the show, people. Welcome to the show.
Eat my shorts. So here is to conversation. Tranquility
base here. The angle has landed. So our through
line today. Your three things are salt and vinegar
chips, dad jokes, and ice ice baby. Huh. Salt
and vinegar chips. One of my favorites. And dad
jokes. Another one of my favorites. And ice ice
baby. That better not be one of your favorites.
One of my favorites. Ew. A song that defined
a generation. Apparently every time that song
plays, he owes Queen money. How much does that
suck? But they're so different. He has to take
all the money he makes on Go Ninja, Go Ninja
Go to pay off Queen. Okay, let's see. Salt and
vinegar chips are very polarizing. You either
like them or you don't. Sure. Dad jokes are meant
to be layups. They don't take much thought. Sure.
An ice ice baby. A lyrical masterpiece that rips
off one of the most popular songs ever made.
Hmm. You got me. These are all things that are
so bad. They're good. You want to know my favorite
dad joke? Shoot. What are Mario's overalls made
of? Denim, denim, denim. That's a good one. That's
a good one. I'll have to add that to my repertoire.
Do I have to add a disclaimer that I wasn't informed
of this joke from a dad? Oh. Do you have to put
that down in the comments? I guess, yeah. It's
a falsity? Well, I was told it by a dad. Oh,
okay. So it transfers over. Oh, okay. It just
skips a link. Okay, so it has the proper chain
of custody. It's fine, yeah. Okay, okay. That
was a close one. Okay, yeah, add it to the list.
All right, things that are so bad, they're good.
I love salt and vinegar chips, but also they're
the worst invention. It's just two types of pain.
And it rips your mouth apart. It rips your mouth
apart, and then it burns you. But they're so
good, it doesn't make any sense. They're so bad,
they're good. Yeah, they are. So our bigger topic
of today is so bad, they're good movies. There
are a million and one things that I wanted to
cover on this list, so there will be a list of
honorable mentions at the end, because there's
a lot of trash things that used to get made.
And I'm, for the record, not including any of
the prequels, sequels, and reboots, because I
think, by and large, they're pretty crappy. Then
how do you have anything left? That's why I believe
the newest movie that I have on this list was
technically like 2023. But that was kind of a
one -off. All the rest of them are from the early
2000s. No, I think that prequel, no, not prequels,
I think sequels get a bad rap. Yeah. Dark Knight,
way better than Batman Begins. Sure. Not better,
not as bad as Dark Knight Rises, though. Well,
yeah, so in that trilogy, like, it's a real hit
or miss. You get one good sequel and one crappy
sequel. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would still watch.
I was in a hotel. This was a... For pleasure,
not for work. I don't like the thing your eyebrows
just did when you said that. I was in, where
were we? We were in Shreveport. Okay. Bossier
City, Louisiana. I brought my fire stick. You
know what I didn't bring? The remote? The remote
to my fire stick. So I was slumming it with cable
TV. Tragic. Oh. Anyways. After watching a marathon
of the Chipmunk movies, it was two and three.
The Squeakquel and Chipwrecked? I think so. I
don't think that I know that. No, it was definitely
the Squeakquel. Maybe it was four. Yes, it was
the road trip one. So it was that three and four,
and I missed one and three. No, it was two and
four, and I missed one and three. I think so.
Okay. And then after that started the... Again,
they didn't show Batman Begins. They just showed
Dark Knight and then followed by The Dark Knight
Rises. Okay. And then as we were leaving, we
were watching Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls.
So maybe this is just like some weird HBO where
they don't show you the original. That's... So
whenever it was around like Christmas time, we
were in Oklahoma City in a hotel room. And the
only thing that we caught was Home Alone 2, Lost
in New York. Every time we came back to the hotel,
it was only Home Alone 2. Is this like a known
thing that HBO doesn't show originals? They just
show sequels. Are they cheaper? Oh, I'm sure
they're cheaper. No one's paying to watch. No
one's paying for the streaming rights to the
squeakles. Second one holds up. Lost me on the
fourth one. But, you know, it was something.
Jason Lee can sell me on most things. Speaking
of Jason Lee, Dogma's coming back. I know. I
saw him. I'm really excited for it. They finally
got the rights back from Weinstein's. He who
must not be named. So, yeah, I think that there
are definitely some great sequels out there that
improve upon the first, but for the most part,
they suck. Look at all the ones that have been
like were cult classics in their original form
and then they just went to like another director
to do the second one like Gremlins. Gremlins
2 is garbage. Gremlins is a classic. It's a great
movie. Wasn't Gremlins 2 like the whole thing
behind it was that they went from like a horror
movie to a comedy? Yeah. They tried to make like
a family movie? I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
no. I'm not a big sequels person. I will definitely
be watching the... the prequels to the hunger
games movies, because like I said, that book
was really good. It's time to revisit it. But
other than that, I'm not a, not a big fan. Um,
but yeah, so I don't have any of those included
in my list for today, but we are starting off
really strong with battlefield earth. Have you
seen battlefield earth? I've seen the memes,
never seen it. I know that it stars Forrest Whitaker,
John Travolta with dreads, and it is loosely.
Based on the teachings of Scientology. It is
indeed. So this is one of L. Ron Hubbard's sci
-fi books. This is, I believe, pre -dianetics.
Does it still have thetans in it? It doesn't.
Are there e -meters? Silos, I think. I don't
know. There are no thetans, I don't believe.
Not from everything that I read. I did try to
watch this movie and I made it about 20 minutes
in. Isn't... Isn't After Earth also Scientology
based? Is it? I think so. Will Smith and Jaden.
Oh. And that was another colossal flop. No love
for spaceship beep boop? No. One of the funniest
things that I found in researching Battlefield
Earth, because again, could not watch more than
20 minutes of it, was that the first line of
the synopsis is talking about how this is 3000
AD. And referring to it as 3000 AD feels a little
questionable considering... The background of
the man who wrote the book. I mean, I'm not up
to date. I don't know much past what South Park
has taught me about Scientology. It's pretty
solid. But I can't imagine that Jesus makes an
appearance in Dianetics. Yeah, I don't think
so. So who was the death? So we're out of the
gate just wrong. Wrong. Yeah, apparently Jesus
exists in this universe. The reason that I could
not make it more than 20 minutes in is because
if you watch the actual cinematography, I don't
know why it looks like they lost a wheel on the
dolly that holds the camera because the whole
thing is done in Dutch angles. And it is so stressful
to watch when everything is tilted. That's a
choice. It is unbelievably dumb. Was that at
all financed by the church? I think it was. Or
by Travolta in between hanging out with his pilot
friends. Hanging out with his pilot friends?
Oh, you didn't know about that? No, there's lots
of rumors about. Oh, I know. Something was hanging
out. Yeah. Anyway, so this movie lost $15 million
in the box office as a solid 3 % on Rotten Tomatoes.
And in the, like, the briefest plot points, there's
a guy. who John Travolta's character decides
is valuable, so he puts this beam of information
into this man. The world has ended, like the
aliens have taken over, and so the humans that
are left are these basically like Neanderthals.
They're like cave people. So this one guy gets
this beam of knowledge transmitted into his brain,
and John Travolta teaches him how to fly. A plane,
for the record. Oh, yeah. Making another pilot
to hang out with. So this guy... teaches all
of the other cave people how to fly jets that
have not flown in a thousand years. Since 2000.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And these cave people fly the
jets to defeat the aliens. What do you think
it's an allegory for? I just, I want to know
what L. Ron Hubbard was smoking. Please don't
come for me, Church of Scientology people. Just
for a point of reference, okay, what'd you say
Battlefield Earth has on Rotten Tomatoes? Three.
Well, Wild Hogs has a 5 .9. God. This movie is
widely considered one of Travolta's worst, which
is insane, partially because of Wild Hogs, but
also because he was in drag and hairspray. Mm
-hmm. Mm -hmm. I mean, he wasn't the worst person
in Hairspray because Nikki Blonsky has had a
weird time online. Oh, man. Did you see her most
recent cameo? Where she was pooping? Yeah. So,
for the uninitiated, congratulations for being
on the right side of the internet. This is Nikki
Blonsky. Yeah. It is offensive. Cameo was a mistake.
Yeah. Like there have been there have been things
coming out about Nikki Blonsky forever and ever.
Apparently she's like super racist. Against whom?
I don't know. That is very much a tagline that
I did not delve further into because I really
everything I've learned about Nikki Blonsky has
been against my will. But she was on Cameo and
she was saying I think like happy birthday to
a friend or to someone on Cameo sitting on the
toilet and you can hear her making like. struggling
noises it is it is rough and i think you hear
a couple drops yeah throughout you do yeah yeah
and um one of the interviews resurfaced from
her time in hairspray where she's talking about
how like i think they ask her if she thinks zach
efron and vanessa hudgens are gonna get married
and she was like no i love zach like he's my
best friend and sorry girl but i don't think
he's gonna marry you it's painful to watch do
you think that has anything to do with ricky
lake I don't really know anything about Rikki
Leake. She was in the original Hairspray. Yeah.
And she was that girl. And then she turned it
into a career. So do you think that's what she
was gunning for? Oh, for sure, yeah. She wanted
to be like Rebel Wilson. Which Rebel Wilson's
living her best life now. From what I hear. She's
married and doing her own thing these days. I'm
still Australian. I'm still Australian. She's
one of those Olympic people. Yeah. Not the bobblehead.
Anyway, I also feel like Hairspray deserves an
honorable mention because it's not a good movie.
I don't think it's so bad that it comes back
around and is good. It's not a good movie. I
think that everyone involved in the movie really
gave it their all. I would believe that. That's
worth something. Did Zac Efron actually sing
his parts or did he bring in Drew for that too?
I think he's sung in this one because he sang
in High School Musicals 2 and 3. Oh, Link Larkin
in Hairspray. Claim Latifah, Michelle Pfeiffer,
Christopher Walken, Amanda. Yeah, Christopher
Walken ends up with John Travolta. It's a deeply
bizarre movie. But yeah, Battlefield Earth is
considered one of his worst. They were nominated
for a handful of both Razzies and Stinkers. I
don't know what a Stinker Award is. They won
several. But my absolute favorite of the Razzies
that this thing won were Worst Picture of the
Decade. Travolta was nominated for Worst Actor
of the Decade. Of the Decade. Of the Decade,
yeah. And my absolute favorite, this movie won
Worst Screen Couple, which was awarded to John
Travolta and anyone sharing the screen with him.
That's not very nice. No, it isn't, but it's
really funny. Wait, so... Worst actor of the
decade. He won that? He won worst actor and was
nominated for worst actor of the decade. So this
movie was released in 2000. So were they just
hedging their bets on there would be no other
worse performances for the next 10 years? Or
is it because it was probably filmed in like
98, 99? It was for the 90s. No, so they circled
back. So a lot of the Razzies and stuff and like
the stinkers and stuff, they were. nominated
for were in 2000 when the original movie came
out um but in 2010 was when they brought back
the all of the of the decades oh um so they had
some beef with this movie um but yeah there was
supposed to be a sequel in 2003 okay uh i don't
know if that one would have also been based on
a book i don't think so um battlefield mars battlefield
uranus Boo. That's what you get after Taco Bell.
This is why we can't have nice things. So it
was supposed to have a sequel in 2002, and then
they pushed it back for a year until 2003, and
then they decided that because of how awful everyone
thought Battlefield Earth was, that they were
just not going to do it. And I feel like that
one had to have been bankrolled by John Travolta.
There's no way that movie was getting a sequel.
No. Also, is Forrest Whitaker a Scientologist?
That's what I was wondering. I don't know. I
just saw him in the movie. Payphone with Colin
Farrell. Yeah, it's a thriller. Okay. About a
PR guy that is being held hostage in a payphone
by a sniper. Yeah, that's a decent movie. It's
got some holes, but Forrest Whitaker is like
the police chief. Okay. And they make mention
of him getting some guy killed, and then that's
it. Oh. And they never go back to it again. And,
like, he's just coming back from leave for this
incident. And then he's just like, you're not
going to let it happen. What happened to the
last guy? And then they just, nothing ever comes
of it. Oh, okay. And the whole time, it's very
distracting because the guy on the pay phone,
the sniper, is Kiefer Sutherland. It's very obviously
Kiefer Sutherland. And then at the very end.
It's like a surprise reveal. You get a little
glimpse and, oh, is that Kiefer Sutherland? Yeah.
It was Jack Bauer the whole time. Oh, it's on
Max, I think. Okay. It's worth checking out for
A Way to Kill just over an hour. I will keep
that in mind. I have a million things to watch
that I think would be... Phone booth. Phone booth,
not payphone. Phone booth. Okay. That's lost
to time. Yeah. What is a phone booth anymore?
He's on a pay phone in a phone booth in New York
City. He gets attacked by some hookers. Oh. Okay.
And then there's a guy that's attacking because
he has to stay in this phone booth. He's got
like, oh, Lord. The more I break this down, the
worse it is. Yeah. He's got a laser sight on
him. But then this other guy starts hassling
him and he's like. You better get him away from
there or I'm going to take the shot. You want
me to take him out? You want me to take him out?
And this dude. So the sniper gets him in the
back. It's like the quietest shot ever. And then
he just like a little pool of blood on his back
and then he just falls on the ground. This whole
time, all these people see this guy fighting
with Colin Farrell and they're face to face.
And then this guy gets shot in the back. And
then everyone's like, we saw you shoot him. We
saw you shoot him. So just admit it. Just admit
that you shot him. yeah it's one of those movies
you can't break it down yeah it's just be glad
you got to experience it and then yeah okay i
mean that does feel very on brand for this episode
it fits this category it does yeah that um yeah
the everything from the cgi the the casting the
premise everything about it about battlefield
earth is just terrible yeah and maybe maybe i'm
a little bit wrong because i didn't watch the
whole movie i'm just going off everything that
I've read about it because I couldn't watch the
movie. What if nobody actually made it past the
first 20 minutes and the last hour 10 is just
the greatest masterpiece ever put to film? I
would grant you that possibility if it weren't
for John Travolta being the lead. Does he have
an accent? Seems like you have an accent in that
one. No. The dreads, the nose rings. Oof. No,
he just sounds like John Travolta. Hey, Forrest,
why are you doing this to me? Oh, God. Terrible.
Does Mr. Cotter make an appearance? Like in a
flashback? I never watched that show. You never
watched Welcome Back, Cotter? No. That's where
you got to start. Well before my time. Well,
it was well before mine, too. Well before your
time, too. Yeah, no. Almost all things with John
Travolta, I think, belong on this list. Pulp
Fiction. No, never mind. Belong on the Razzie
list, not the so bad they're good. Pulp Fiction
is great. I'm not a face -off person. Saturday
Night Fever. Okay. Urban Cowboy. Grease. It's
a 50. His early days were fine. It was when he
moved on to the Scientology stuff and the pilot
stuff. His new age stuff is bad. Okay, I'll give
you that. Everything, like, I'm going to say
post -2000. So the millennium really did him
dirty. Yeah. Because he got a huge resurgence
with Pulp Fiction. Yeah. Everyone forgot he existed,
and then all of a sudden, Michael was a good
movie. He was an angel. Yeah. I've definitely
seen that one. That was one of Greg's favorites,
I think. Yeah. But yeah, no, not a fan of John
Travolta. Speaking of Greg, our uncle, I don't
know how I haven't mentioned this before, but
I told Emily that Greg had his nipples pierced.
I didn't know if it was one. It was just one?
Yeah. And she was taken aback by that. Why? I
don't know. She doesn't know him. That's fair.
But it... It feels on brand for him. It does,
yeah. So, hey, Greg. Is he one of our listeners?
I don't think so. I wouldn't think so. I wouldn't
think so. We have our listener somewhere floating
around in the Atlantic. Floating around in the
Atlantic? Are they just like on a remote island
somewhere? Is Amelia Earhart listening to our
podcast? I don't think it's anywhere near Howlin'
Island, but we do, according to our analytics,
we have a listener from the Russian Federation.
Oh, okay. On the map, there's no dot anywhere
near Russia, but we do have a dot in the middle
of the Atlantic Ocean. So I'm assuming we're
hot with Russian submariners. Oh, I'd love that
for us. I think. That's pretty divisive right
now. That's fair. We want listeners. We're politically
neutral. If we had Ukrainian... People listening
to our stuff, we would shout that out too. But
right now, as it stands, we're hot in Russia
right now. So, Zelensky, get on it. Okay. That's
a take you can have. He's... I mean, what else
has he got going on? Not saying thank you at
the White House. Oh. What a fun year this has
been already. All right. So, my next one is...
Out of the mind of Lorne Michaels, or it's under
his production studio at least. Mm -hmm. It is
also one of the lowest rated things on IMDb,
or Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah. Mm. It's Pat. What?
Pat? No. It's not Pat? No. Oh. You do not know
about Pat? No. It was a skit from early 90s.
I don't remember what actress it was, but she
was sexually androgynous, and everything she
said was very sexually androgynous. Like, you
couldn't tell if you were speaking to a man or
a woman. Okay. And that was the whole gag. Oh.
But that was a movie. They turned that skit into
a movie, and it's gone down as one of the worst
SNL movies. Oh. I missed an opportunity. This
one has a zero on. Rotten Tomatoes. What's her
name? This is... Julia Sweeney. Yeah. The skits
were fine. It just wasn't a premise that could
hold up for an entire movie. And I think by the
time the movie came out, it was a pretty tired
premise anyways. Well, I did not include that
one on the list. Didn't know it existed. But
it is a different SNL alum. Yeah? What is it?
Master of Disguise. I have an issue with that.
Okay. So, first of all, I do love this movie.
I did re -watch it relatively recently. And I
can see why it has a one on Rotten Tomatoes.
It is... A one seems a little aggressive. When
was the last time you watched this movie? Not
that long ago. I think a one feels fitting. I
like it. But quality -wise, it's deserved. The
main character's name in this movie is Pistachio
Disguisey. It's not exactly Oscar -worthy cinema.
Become another person. Become another person.
Come on. No, that movie is great. It's a great
movie, but it is cheesy as hell. Why not turtley
enough for the turtle club? Fun fact, that was
filmed on 9 -11. That was one of my fun facts
about this movie. Oh, sorry. That's not a fun
fact, but that's one of my facts about this movie.
Sorry about that. I just Dana Carvey in a bald
cap and a turtle costume turning on the news.
Dana, did you hear? Turtle. Do you think he did
it in character? He reacted? I would hope so.
I would hope that Dana would bring some levity,
some comedy to the situation. He just popped
his head in the costume. He's one I'd love to
meet. Yeah, me too. If they want to get us on
Fly on the Wall, I'd love to be there. I would
love to meet both him and David Spade. I love
David Spade. I'm a little hit or miss on David
Spade. I think... Like, performance -wise, there
have been a decent amount of not great things.
I don't like the sequel that he made for Joe
Dirt. Joe Dirtay, my apologies. Yeah, it's just
the... I saw it before I had ever seen It's a
Wonderful Life. Like, I knew the synopsis. Like,
I knew the trope of following the It's a Wonderful
Life pattern, but... Yeah, I think I haven't
seen it since then. I don't think that I would
altogether enjoy it now. But Joe Dirt 1 holds
a very special place in my heart. Sure, yeah.
I bet you got that fireworks speech memorized.
I got it on a t -shirt. I wear it every Fourth
of July. We watch Joe Dirt every Fourth of July.
As you should. As we should. Also, the dad movie
that he did where he was basically still Joe
Dirt recently. Oh, yeah. It was a Netflix movie.
Mm -hmm. Dad of the Year? Yeah, I think so. Something
like that. That one was not good. No. The Wrong
Missy was a good movie. I liked that one. I mean,
any of the movies where he's like the fish out
of water, but when he's the straight man, it's
good. Yeah, but it's been hard for him to be
the straight man since he lost his... Because
he's so gay? Is that what you're saying? Fat
guy in a little coat. No, not because he's so
gay. You heard it here first. She thinks that
David Spade is a homosexual. Also, he did one
of the most iconic roles, which is Gusco, my
first new groove. Gusco! That's a good one. Pull
the lever, crunk. Pull the lever. Grade A. But,
I mean, if you go through, like, Lorne Michaels'
filmography, I think that Master of Disguise
was one of the weaker ones. Because you're putting
it up against like the Austin Powers, the Wayne's
Worlds, the old school. The Lorne Michaels. Was
that Austin Powers? I mean, it makes sense just
because of the. Because Dr. Evil is Lorne Michaels.
Yeah. Not at the Roxbury. Are you a fan? Not
particularly. I don't like Chris Kattan. Why
not? I have never been a fan. I don't know why.
I don't like. I don't know if I don't like the
things he's in. Have you ever seen Corky Romano?
Yeah. Corky Romano's funny. What is that? It's
he, his family is a, they're mafiosos and they
need to send him in undercover as an FBI agent.
Okay. That's a good movie. You should check it
out. I, yeah, I don't know. I was just never.
He did something on SNL and apparently it destroyed
his back and he wasn't able to work after that.
Oh. Huh. I didn't know that. After this episode
is over, I'll have to figure out what happened
to Chris Kattan. I'm curious. There you go. Yeah,
I think that Lorne Michaels put out a lot of
really great, like, 90s, early 2000s comedies,
and I don't think that Master of Disguise was
on the same caliber. Granted, I mean, I definitely
think it beats out, like, Superstar and a certain
amount of the Lorne Michaels things. They can't
all be stellar. Yeah, I mean, it's a kid's movie,
so you have to look at it through that lens.
Sure, yeah. And I would watch it tonight. Maybe
I will. I would, too. It's a good movie, but
it's also a really bad movie. That's fair. That's
fair. What else you got? The Room. Never seen
it. I know. I feel like we've had this discussion
many times at this point, but The Room is one
of the, like... quintessential i think so bad
it's good movies i'm not gonna do my impression
because you said it sounds like somebody else
so what impression uh where i say it's tearing
me apart lisa and then you're like i don't remember
who you said i don't remember who i said it sounded
like oh you sounded like king julian from madagascar
please do it no no Okay, fine. Well, in that
case, dear listeners, because he doesn't care
about you guys as much as I do, his impression
of Tommy Wiseau sounds like King Julian from
Madagascar. It's entertaining. And I disagree,
but you know what? There's only one way that
we could make this a poll on Instagram, on your
story. Our story. Yeah. We'll see. We'll save
it for the end. Now you gotta hang around until
the end of the episode. So The Room was a movie
that is just surrounded by a lot of weird stuff.
It was made by a very, a phenomenally weird man.
Very eccentric. With very questionable origins.
He's really dodgy about like where he got his
money and where he came from. Like the name that
he uses, Tommy Wiseau, is a name that he picked
up when he moved to the U .S. And it was just
because he had seen these like when he first
got here, he had seen someone selling like bird
toys on the street. And so he decided that his
new last name was going to be Wiseau, which is
just, I think, bird in French or something like
that. And so we don't know any of the origins
of Tommy Wiseau. He's a mystery. Yeah. The best
thing about this movie is that there is an experience.
If you go to see it in a theater. So it still
makes its rounds at like indie theaters and stuff
every single year. I know because I've gone to
three of them, I believe. I have met Tommy Wiseau
three times now. He's a very bizarre man. He
always wears an excess of belts. Very interesting.
I owned a pair of boxers made by his brand that
were surprisingly well made. Huh. What's his
brand called? It's just like Tommy. Not Hilfiger.
Although. I wonder if our airplane fella had
on Tommy Wiseau because he got confused. That
would be so great. You should have spoken to
this man. What if it was Tommy Wiseau? I should
have. Next time I will know that I need to speak
to him. But yeah, so the watching experience
of this movie is really fun in the same way that
like Rocky Horror is really fun to watch in theaters
because it becomes this like. There's a lot of
weird, like, rituals and stuff that you're supposed
to do with it. This isn't a cult. How dare you
talk to me like that? Sorry. You should tell
me everything. Sorry, I'm saving that for the
end. Oh, my God. There is really no plot to this
movie. There's a bunch of, like, just random
scenes that felt like it was written by ChatGBT
but decades before ChatGBT. So it's not even
contained to a room? It is not. It is, it's a,
it's a bizarre movie. I definitely recommend
watching it because I don't even really know
how to explain any of it. It's one of those like
fever dream kind of movies. But if you go to
see it in theaters, someone always brings a football
and everyone brings plastic spoons because there
is a, an inordinate amount of like play and catch
scenes. with a football because there's a kid
who's supposed to be like, I think he's supposed
to be like 10 or something, but he's very clearly
like 18 years old. This is a whole adult. And
all of the, all of the background in this movie
has like picture frames and stuff. And every
picture frame is just pictures of spoons. And
so the ritual behind this, if you're watching
it in a theater is that you're supposed to throw.
spoons at the screen as soon as you see the picture
frames of just random cutlery in the background
shots. And the spoons are never explained. Nope.
Nothing in this movie is ever explained. If you
are looking for explanations, you don't understand
the room. It is, however, not the only movie
this man has made. He made another one called
Best Friends in which Tommy Wiseau is a mortician.
Oh. And Greg Sestero, the other guy that's in
the room, is a homeless man who comes to work
for Tommy Wiseau and starts selling tooth fillings.
Is that Mark? Yes. And so that one I do actually
recommend. It's an interesting watch in a better
way than the room. Okay. On top of... Best friends
in the room. There is a movie made about the
making of the room with the Franco brothers.
So Dave Franco and James Franco called the disaster
artist, which was that any good? I haven't seen,
I didn't watch it because I hadn't seen the room.
Yeah. Uh, so I watched the disaster artist, I
think before I watched the room and then I didn't.
And then after that it came to Dallas where Tommy
Wiseau was doing this whole like screening thing.
And so he went and it was actually just, it was
a lot of fun. But the Disaster Artist was pretty
good. It goes into how bizarre this man is. I
don't think that Tommy Wiseau had anything to
do with Disaster Artist, though. I think it was
all Greg Sestero with the Francos. How was it
received by Tommy? Is there anything on that?
I don't think he had any issues with it. But
his presence online is as strange as the rest
of him. So he'll just... In the same way that,
like, Shaq will tweet out, like, at Knott's Berry
Farm, ah, that's me yelling. That's kind of the
caliber of tweets that you get from Tommy Wiseau.
We don't know how he feels about anything. National
treasures. National treasures, yeah. But we don't
even know what nation or what nationality. What
nation. What nation. We don't know what nation
he's a treasurer of. Shockingly. this movie has
a 24 on rotten tomatoes that is 24 times the
quality of master of disguise that's just not
fair but it is not i absolutely agree with you
okay what's crazy though because i was looking
up all the like stats on these movies because
i was trying to figure out like how to order
them if i should do like their rotten tomato
scores their uh profit or loss or whatever or
Just like the year that they came out. And I
ended up doing the year they came out because
I didn't realize that Master of Disguise profited
$30 million. As it should. As it should, sure.
It profited $30 million. And The Room only lost,
I think, $800 ,000. What was the budget, do you
know? $6 million. Oh. But considering it wasn't
backed by a studio or anything, it was just like
a dude who put out a movie. So he just, I mean,
I'm sure he's made up that $800 ,000 since then.
Oh, for sure, yeah. Especially after the disaster
artist. He's playing the long game. He is. He's
been playing 3D chess. Respect to Tommy Wiseau.
4D chess. Everyone plays 3D chess. I play chess
on my phone, so technically it's 2D chess. Okay,
well, nerd. Look, Magnus Carlton over here. Magnus.
What? What's his name? Magnus. What's like the
Grand Wizard? Okay. What are they called? Not
Grand Wizards. I mean, I think Dumbledore was
kind of a Grand Wizard. I liked him. He was good
at what he did. Magnus. Carlson. Carlson, yeah.
Should I have said Bobby Fischer? Bobby Fischer
over here. Nothing? No. How do you know so many
professional chess players? You just called me
a nerd? Do you not know the story about the...
I mean, I kind of did a deep dive into it a couple
years ago because they were playing virtually,
I think. No, maybe they were playing in person.
Anyways, look up the story. I don't have all
the details readily available, but there were
vibrating butt plugs in play. To cheat. Huh.
I'm not going to look up the story. Look up the
story. I won't. That's worth it. I'm good. That's
worth it. That is as much information as I could
possibly glean from whatever happened here. Some
fella was cheating by using a vibrating butt
plug. Yeah, no, I got that one. Okay, well, there
you go. Noticed, yeah. Interesting. Mm -hmm.
I don't know how to follow that up, so I'm just
going to push on. So my next movie is I think
my favorite, definitely my favorite on the list,
Cat in the Hat. I quote Cat in the Hat all the
time. I do too. You dirty hoe. I'm sorry, baby.
You know I love you. It's such a great movie.
So the reason that this one made the list so
bad it's good is because I think it was well
regarded amongst audiences. And also, I have
a soft spot for Mike Myers. I think I've liked
everything that I've seen him in. Have you seen
The Pentavarant? His Netflix show? All right.
I stand corrected. Most of the things I like
him in. Love Guru. Aces. Mariska Hargitay. Mariska
Hargitay. But no, I like Mike Myers in most things.
But this movie... caused the Dr. Seuss estate
to refuse any other live action movies based
on his IP. Which is crazy. It is, because especially
that was following right after... Actually, was
it right before Grinch? No, it was after. I was
about to say, because I thought... Grinch was
2000, Cat in the Hat was like 2002, 2003. Okay.
Pretty sure. That sounds right. But yeah, this
movie was so bad that the Dr. Seuss estate refused
to do any more live -action movies. Which, I
mean, is not... It's not a terrible loss just
because I think those were the only ones that
really could have done live -action. I don't
think that I'd want to see the live -action Lorax.
Or Danny DeVito in a bodysuit with a gigantic
mustache. The ending scene of the Lorax is so
bizarre. Because the Lorax just like picks himself
up by his butt and just like flies off. Yeah.
It's an allegory. Just floats away. Allegory
for you got to pull yourself up by your butt
and really attack the day. The butt is the new
bootstraps. That ties back into the Bobby Fisher
story. No, you could do a live action Horton
Hears a Who now. I sincerely hope they don't
do a live action Horton Hears a Who. You couldn't
when they did the ban from the 2003 Cat in the
Hat film. But did you know that I was so excited
for that movie to come out that I saved up my
allowance to pay $30 in 2003 money? To go pick
up a copy of Cat in the Hat on DVD day one from
Blockbuster. Yeah, okay. Everything in that statement
is so dated. Mm -hmm. But yeah, and it was full
screen. Like a chump. Ew. Yeah. Gross. I did
the same thing with The Dark Knight. So I saw
The Dark Knight probably four times in theaters.
Damn, all right. And then I pre -ordered it from
Best Buy, picked it up at midnight. On a school
night. Ooh. Because movies, I think DVDs drop
on Tuesdays. So it was Monday night at midnight.
I picked it up. I watched it three times, went
straight to school. Oh, okay. That was a miserable
day, but worth it. The only movie I think I've
seen that many times in theaters was The Hunger
Games, the original. Yeah. Because I watched
it with... When it first came out, because I
already just loved the books, I watched it with
mom, I watched it with dad, I watched it with...
Wiffleball bat? Two... In a boat with a goat,
yeah. And like two separate sets of friends.
So I saw that movie four separate times in theaters.
No, I saw Inception three times in theaters.
Okay. two during its first run and then me and
you went to go see it in IMAX one time probably
like I don't know five years after it released
I don't know like I feel like that's a lot of
the reason that so many of these movies are early
2000s is because we stopped doing movies that
were like rewatchable in theaters yeah we've
just lost our artistic integrity I think yeah
there hasn't been a movie because when you go
to a movie it's one it's got to be a movie that's
worth seeing like as an experience And two, you
have to have the crowds like you want to experience
it with other people. And three, it was reasonably
priced. Yeah. So I think the last time that I
saw a movie that hit all three of those marks
was probably like in game part two. That's what
I was going to say is that I think we stopped
having like things that were worth the midnight
release. Like events. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I used
to go to all of the Avengers movies. The Avengers,
the Captain America, unfortunately, Man of Steel.
At one point, I racked up four separate copies
of that movie. Like, they just kept getting gifted
to me, and I feel like I have done something
wrong, but that was the vibe I was putting out.
Any of them Steelbook? Two of them were, yeah.
One of them was Superman -shaped. That's how
you know you're a real collector, is when you
got the Steelbook. I also miss Steelbooks. I
don't know if they still make them. I haven't
bought a DVD in forever. I think they do. I used
to get mine at Target. Yeah. The last one I bought,
I think, was Parasite. That would have been,
like, 2018, maybe. Yeah. No, I hate the shift
away from physical media, especially when it
comes to movies. I hate subscription services
so much. Yeah. And then, like, you see something,
and you're like, well, I'm not really in the
mood for that right now, but I will be later.
And then you go back to look for it and then
it's gone. That doesn't happen with a Blu -ray
or a DVD. And then even the same things if you,
like you can say, well, I have a copy of it because
I have the digital. Yeah. But then whatever service
loses its rights to that digital and then it's
gone and you already paid for it. Yeah. Look
at Dogma. The only way to watch that forever
for a really long time was to watch it on YouTube.
Bootleg, yeah. Where it was. In 144p. Yeah. It
was not of high quality and I'm so excited to
see that in theaters once it comes back. I am
too. It's my favorite of the Kevin Smith -iverse.
Yeah. More than Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?
For sure. You know the dude from Clerks is on
the floor right now? The guy with the circle
goatee? Yeah. Oh. Okay. Yeah. He's actually for
like the first half of the season. He had the
most spaces, so he was in the top spot. I feel
like I would do really good on that show. I do
too. It feels so easy. Do you remember that Shane
Gillis sketch about where he doesn't want to
misname the black people? Yes. Yeah. That has
happened, except it's like liberal white women.
Oh, I've seen those clips. They're so funny.
Oh, I know her name. I know it. I know it. It's
like right there. And then they skip and then
they get in like, oh, yeah, they do that all
the time, which gets on my nerves. Like when
they see it, they're like, oh, yeah, I knew that.
No, you didn't. Yeah. No, you didn't. You're
just trying to save face. You failed. You racist.
You racist. I would so go see Cat in the Hat
if it went back in theaters, though. There's
no possible reason that it would. They're doing...
Unless Mike Myers dies. How dare you say those
things out loud? I'm sorry, but that would be
a reason for them to put Cat in the Hat back
in theaters. Man. It's got enough of the internet
hype behind it that it could be re -released.
Actually, I'm curious if Cat in the Hat is streamable,
because if it is, I'm re -watching it soon. I'm
sure it is somewhere. It's such a good movie.
If not, I got the full screen DVD if you want
it. I feel like, oh, it's on Peacock. Cool. That
makes sense. Fire. You're not just wrong. You're
stupid. So many moments. It's such a good movie.
I'll gotcha. And I'll make it look like a bloody
accident. That was the one I was trying to think
of. The Cupcakeinator. But as far as Dr. Seuss,
I think, I don't know. There's all these movies
that try to make it, try to toe the line between
kids can appreciate it, but all adults aren't
bored out of their minds the whole time, so there's
stuff for them too. I think that based on Dr.
Seuss' origins, maybe back off a little on all
of the, this is supposed to be for children.
stuff sure and uh you know just chill out yeah
i think i think we stopped in a good place with
the dr seuss movies though because i don't think
there's any topping jim carrey is the grinch
or mike myers is the cat in the hat probably
not now i think the danny devito thing was decent
i didn't really care for the lorax yeah it's
real preachy it felt yeah a little too self -righteous
i think Oh, no. Something with Taylor Swift in
it is self -righteous? No way. Whoa there. She's
not here. I can say whatever I want. Uh -huh.
She'll hear you. I thought Horton Hears a Who
was pretty good. Yeah. But, I mean, Jim Carrey
and Steve Carell. Can't go wrong. Yep. In the
same, uh, the Bruce Almighty vein. Yeah. Bruce,
uh, Bruce Almighty is where Steve Carell found
his street. Was that before a four -year -old
virgin? No, 40 -Year -Old Virgin was his first
thing. Oh, okay. Which is crazy to come out of
the gate with a movie like that. Yeah. You want
to talk about movies that are so bad, they're
bad? Heaven Almighty. Oh, sequel. Sequel, yep.
That should have never happened. I saw that movie
in a theater that I used to go to all throughout
high school. And it was before it was bought
out by AMC and refurbished. it cut out halfway
through. Yeah. And then they were like, well,
you can hang around or we'll give you a refund.
Mm -hmm. I think I stuck it out. And you regretted
it? I did. Yeah, it wasn't worth it. That movie,
I always mix up like plot -wise with Furry Vengeance.
Mm. The... Brendan Fraser. Brendan Fraser movie,
yeah. Yeah. Not Fraser. Though if you ask him,
he won't correct you because he's just that stained
up of a guy. Yeah. Is that a good thing if you
don't correct people? I don't know. I've always
been on the fence about that because I have people
mispronounce my name all the time. And at some
point, it feels both rude that I'm correcting
you and rude that you don't just learn my name.
Actually, it's pronounced. It's only three syllables.
Yeah. I can't imagine it's that tough. You should
have added hyphens in your name. Like a LaDasha.
Just La hyphen A. But there's no way that you
could put dashes in my name that it would be
pronounced properly with the way that it's spelled
right now. Between the... Well, I guess between
the A and the N and then the Y and the A. Y and
the A, yeah. Huh. Okay, well, I'm still not doing
that. I'm just saying, if you needed a rebrand...
I will keep that in mind. Solid. I will keep
that in mind. Maybe that'll be my artist name.
Yeah. Whenever I start rapping. There you go.
All right. So the last big point that I had was
the most recent one because there's a pretty
decent stretch. I think it's like 20 years between
the cat and the hat in this one. And that is
Madam Web. I think. First off, movie was awful.
I have never seen overdubbing so bad in a movie.
But I think, what's her face? Dakota Johnson.
Dakota Johnson. I don't like her. Yeah. She's
a terrible actress. Sure. Nepo baby. Yeah. Which,
that's fine. Like, she knows it. We knows it.
Whatever. But I think her coming out and mean
-girling the whole movie. And just like, yeah,
this movie is trash. Yeah. It was a paycheck.
And then, well, can you name all the Spider -Man
movies? And then she says like Spider -Man and
the Goblet of Fire or something like that. Anyways,
I think that did help its reputation with turning
it into more of a comedy than this serious. The
joke, yeah. Yeah. So I was writing out notes
for like the... all of the thoughts that i had
about madame webb and i i didn't really know
how to organize them because there's just so
many things that are wrong with this movie the
the first point that i had was the villain because
the villain is just ridiculous there's no there's
no real reason that he's the villain except for
the fact that he's had like visions that dakota
johnson sydney sweeney and whoever the other
two are are how so you know the white girl's
names interesting i What are the other two's
names? What? The other two people that are the
main ones in the movie. Oh, so you're asking
me to come in and clean up your racist mess?
This is not a racist thing. The two big names
that were in this movie. I don't know who the
villain was either. The two big names that were
promoting this movie were Sidney Sweeney and
Dakota Johnson. Yeah, and I just think it's interesting
that you don't know Celeste O 'Connor's name.
Tell me, first of all, you can't use that in
this context. Isabella Merced and Celeste O 'Connor,
also very prominent. Tell me one other thing
either of them have been in. Very unbelievable.
Without IMDB -ing it. Google's not IMDB. Without
Googling it. Oh, I'm sorry that these persons
of color don't have enough credits to their name.
You're impossible. See how these arguments work?
Anyway, the villain is just so poorly dubbed.
I don't know why they didn't have people in,
like, better qualified people doing the ADR.
It looks like a kung fu movie from the 80s. It's
terrible, yeah. They had a crazy budget for really
shitty effects. Yeah. Because a lot of the, like,
flashbacks and flash -forwards and stuff are
just dumb. Mm -hmm. They're Los Arañas, because
that is the way it is pronounced the entire movie.
Los Arañas are just like Peter Parker's first
costume, but they're just like wrapped up in
red rope. Yeah. Which is a choice they made.
It was definitely a choice. They randomly shoehorned
in Uncle Ben's death. Had no business being in
the movie. And it is Ben Wyatt. Yes. R .I .P.
It is. Mark Scout. Is that Severance? Yes, it
is Severance. Mark S. I bet he wishes he could
sever being in this movie. Am I right? I feel
like it was a fun thing to be a part of. Maybe.
Not for Dakota Johnson, clearly, because I've
watched the press tour. You know who hated it?
Coca -Cola. I bet they did. literally no they
had to have loved it because pepsi was not well
represented every scene has a pepsi logo in it
the big boss battle at the end the dude dies
because the p and the s fall on him uh he was
just missing the e and i i think so in dakota's
john dakota johnson's like perspective she said
that the reason that the movie was so bad was
because there was a bunch of rewrites after She
had read it. So she signed up for basically a
completely different movie. And I think that
makes a lot of sense if you watch the movie as
a whole because none of the choices that they
make align. Like none of the plot points make
any sense with any of the other plot points.
No. Also, maybe don't hire 30 -year -olds to
be high school seniors. Also, these are girls
who are in high school. Maybe don't sexualize
them so much. Yeah. I think... Also, maybe when
you're sexualizing these high schoolers, don't
put them in Catholic schoolgirl skirts and uniforms.
Yeah, the whole thing was deeply weird. And I
think that Dakota Johnson didn't really fit in
the role, but I also couldn't see anyone doing
that successfully and making it a watchable movie.
No. It's just so poorly written that I don't
think there was really any winning. I think that...
So, like, Dakota Johnson is not a top -tier actress
or anything, but I liked her in Peanut Butter
Falcon and Bad Times at the El Royale, which
was not a great movie, but I liked her in it.
No, I had high hopes for that one. Chris Hemsworth?
Unfortunately, Cynthia Erivo. It wasn't unfortunate
at the time. Oh, I didn't realize that was her.
Jeff Bridges? He's like a preacher, I think.
I think so, yeah. Preacher with a past. Yeah,
it was a bad movie. Also, I was watching the,
because I haven't seen this movie since it was
first in theaters, but I was watching the pitch
meeting video for it. And he kept bringing up
like the things that just have no explanation.
And the one that stuck with me was how the hell
did she get from Peru back to the States? It's
just like, so at the beginning of this movie,
her mother is incredibly pregnant and is like
searching for this spider that would. theoretically
cure the terminal disease that she has. She finds
it, is killed for it, has the baby, is killed
for it. And Dakota Johnson is just an adult in
New York City. There's no explanation of how
she got from point A to point B. Los Arañas did
not get her back to New York City. They did.
They flew her up to Rio. No, they walked her
up to Rio. then flew her to New York City, and
just dropped her off in an orphanage, I guess.
I don't know. It's ridiculous. The whole thing
is ridiculous. And isn't she a wanted fugitive
at one point? For the entire movie, and yet she
can still travel internationally, yes. Because
she steals a cab and three children, and they
still let her in and out of the country. A very
easily identifiable cab. As well. Yeah. Yeah.
It's something. It's something. You should check
it out if you get a chance. One of the most ridiculous
things, because there's just a whole slew of
ridiculous things about this movie, is that there
aren't really superpowers in any of it. No. You
get one flashback forward, and it's like 20 seconds
long. So if flash forwards are her only superpower,
but she's just like flashing forward to the crazy
things that might happen, that's just anxiety.
That's not a superpower. She's just thinking
of the worst case scenario and it happens to
happen. If your mindset is, you know, I have
anxiety, I'll make the best of it, then to see
it as a superpower is, if you think about it,
it's kind of... It's kind of something. It's
kind of something, and not something stupid.
Oh, hot garbage. Hot garbage movie. On the Dakota
Johnson press tour thing, though, how have there
been so many weird promo tours? I don't remember
the last normal one that I saw. Another Simple
Favor was weird and awkward. Because they hate
each other. Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick hate
each other. Why is everyone being so public about
their feuds with either the movie itself or their
co -stars? Because Don't Worry Darling was weird
because Olivia... Nope, not Olivia Rodrigo. Olivia
Wilde and Florence Pugh hate each other. And
Harry Styles spit on Chris Pine. I don't know.
So people are talking about it, I guess. I don't
know. Wicked was a really weird press tour. It
was. Not for the same reason as those. No, they
were just all over each other. And it was uncomfortable
for everyone involved except for them. Deeply
bizarre. Also, during a press junket for Don't
Worry Darling, Olivia Munn was served divorce
papers. Wild. Wild. Did I say Munn? Mm -hmm.
Oh, yeah, Wild was served divorce papers. So,
yeah, I don't know. I think it's just all publicity.
Yeah. I'll get you talking about stuff you wouldn't
give to... cares about anyways sure yeah the
last point that i had for madam webb was how
absolutely insane it was that she got hit with
a firework in the face is somehow paralyzed and
blinded by it and so she turns into professor
x at the end of the movie it was one of those
those 180 fireworks goes in your eye turns around
hit you in the spine it's just it's so strange
Everything about that movie was as weird as Dakota
Johnson. Thank God we had that weird scene where
she was teaching these grown -ass women CPR.
Otherwise, she wouldn't have made it. How fortunate.
I got to watch that again. I got to check it
out. In the pitch meeting, he calls it three
-shadowing. He was like, don't you mean four
-shadowing? He was like, no, it's not good enough
for that. Oh, pitch meeting, Ryan George. Check
him out. Okay, so that was all I had, but a couple
of honorable mentions were Morbius, Wonder Woman
1984, anything with Nick Cage, and all of the
Fast and Furious movies post -Paul Walker. I
miss when they were just like robbing trucks
for TVs with built -in... TV -VCR combos. Yeah.
It was a simpler time. It was. It was a better
time. It was. I don't think. I could ask a random
person off the street, hey, do you remember what
the plot of Fast 8 was? No one's going to be
able to tell me. But. They were on ice in that
one, I believe. Oh, with the submarine that pops
up through the. Sure. I know there was ice. And
I think there was Charlize Theron. And where.
The rock punches a missile. He what? There's
a missile skidding across this frozen lake coming
right at them. He leans out the side of this
vehicle and just punches it away. Oh, my God.
That's awesome. He punches a missile. Oh. So,
I mean, at least with those movies, they know
what they're about. They know we're not watching
it for the missile or for the plot line. We're
watching it for the missile punching. Sure. Yeah,
absolutely. Now we are. They went to space in
like a Subaru. To be fair, if we had lost Tyrese
up there. I definitely think that movies so bad
they're good are necessary. So that when good
movies come out, there's something to compare
them to. Sure. Because you can't just compare
an amazing movie to a bad movie. You have to
have that middle ground. So movies so bad they're
good. Sure. Really let the great ones shine.
Yeah. I mean, I would, aside from Battlefield
Earth, I would rewatch all of these movies. I
won't make it past 20 minutes of Battlefield
Earth. Partly because I can't stand John Travolta.
No. Present day John Travolta. I'll check it
out. I'll get back to you all about it. I'll
take one for the team. When is the Dianetics
movie coming out? I had no clue that that was
a thing. Oh, I don't think it is, but I'm asking
when the Dianetics movie is coming out. Oh, do
I have to be like a tier something in Scientology
to be able to watch it? Probably. I think Tom
Cruise is in it with his lifts. Maybe. He'd be
running through it, running from his gay thoughts.
All right. Since we've appeared to have made
it to... The end of this episode. The part you've
all been on pins and needles for. Let's see.
Let's get a baseline. I have a biscuit. Stop
it. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Talk to me like that.
You should tell me everything. How dare you talk
to me like that. You should tell me everything.
I can't talk right now. Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa?
Please talk to me. Please. For those who don't
know, this is the scene from The Room. Is this
the one that you said sounds like King Julian?
You're tearing me apart, Lisa. I had it. I had
it. You're tearing me apart, Lisa. That was a
little more Schwarzenegger than thinking Julian
was. You're tearing me apart, Lisa. You're tearing
me apart, Lisa. What else I got? That's a solid
Rainier Wolf castle. You're tearing me apart,
Lisa. Hold on. Who was that one? You are tearing
me apart, Lisa. You are tearing me apart, Lisa.
No, that was real European. I don't know. Go
back and what episode was that? Do you remember?
I don't know. Does that sound like King Julian?
That one didn't sound like King Julian. The last
one did sound like King Julian. Okay, well. I'll
find it. Go back and find it. We'll put a poll.
Yeah, you can finally prove my rude co -host
wrong. And on that note, do you have any final
thoughts? Other than we need these movies around
to make the great movies shine even more, don't
be afraid to make a bad movie. But if you do
make a bad movie, just talk nonstop crap about
it. Make it the butt of the joke. And then people
might appreciate your movie afterwards. That's
fair. Maybe you'll have a renaissance like The
Room. Maybe. What about you? I was trying to
think of a good movie quote. I don't have one.
I don't have any final thoughts. You can't think
of a single movie quote. From one of the movies
that we were just talking about. Not a single
cat in the hat quote. No. Not a single... pistachio
disguise -y quote. No, my mind went completely
blank. Like when he's talking about wanting a
woman with a big butt. Uh, no, I don't remember
the actual quote for that. I don't want to misquote
it because, you know, I'm apparently already
racist. Here, I'll find you one. Am I not turtley
enough for the turtle club? There you go. Your
words of wisdom could be, hey, no matter what
they say, you're always turtley enough for the
turtle club. Okay, I'm stealing that one. That's
fine. No matter what they say, you're always
turtley enough for the turtle club. And with
that, we're out. All right, we'll see you next
time.