WEBVTT

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You want Ibiza? What? This is Ibiza. This is

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Ibiza? I took a pill there once. Did Avicii think

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you were cool? No. Well. It was an ibuprofen.

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You just had a mild headache. Fairfax. Is that

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Nova Scotia? Why do all these colors have names?

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They're just different scenes. Oh. Yeah, for

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those listening, we're trying to get the ambiance

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of the room right. Ambiance. And. There's Galaxy.

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Why is that Galaxy? Starlight. I have no clue.

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Blood Moon. Ooh. Arctic Aurora. This is one of

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my favorite ones. Okay. Mountain Breeze. I do

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not care for Mountain Breeze. It's bright. Ocean

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Dawn. Frosty Dawn. Sunday Morning. Emerald Isle.

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Frosty Dawn sounds like the sex act that Robin

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Scherbatsky was trying to describe. Oh. Let's

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find something a little more chill. I don't mind

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this one. Emerald Flutter. Okay. Okay. Sure.

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We'll stick with Emerald Flutter. Okay. All right.

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Four's yours. Five, four, three, two, one, zero.

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Welcome to the show, people. Welcome to the show.

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Eat my shorts. So here is to conversation. Tranquility

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base here. The angle has landed. So our through

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line today. Your three things are salt and vinegar

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chips, dad jokes, and ice ice baby. Huh. Salt

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and vinegar chips. One of my favorites. And dad

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jokes. Another one of my favorites. And ice ice

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baby. That better not be one of your favorites.

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One of my favorites. Ew. A song that defined

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a generation. Apparently every time that song

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plays, he owes Queen money. How much does that

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suck? But they're so different. He has to take

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all the money he makes on Go Ninja, Go Ninja

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Go to pay off Queen. Okay, let's see. Salt and

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vinegar chips are very polarizing. You either

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like them or you don't. Sure. Dad jokes are meant

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to be layups. They don't take much thought. Sure.

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An ice ice baby. A lyrical masterpiece that rips

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off one of the most popular songs ever made.

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Hmm. You got me. These are all things that are

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so bad. They're good. You want to know my favorite

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dad joke? Shoot. What are Mario's overalls made

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of? Denim, denim, denim. That's a good one. That's

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a good one. I'll have to add that to my repertoire.

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Do I have to add a disclaimer that I wasn't informed

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of this joke from a dad? Oh. Do you have to put

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that down in the comments? I guess, yeah. It's

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a falsity? Well, I was told it by a dad. Oh,

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okay. So it transfers over. Oh, okay. It just

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skips a link. Okay, so it has the proper chain

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of custody. It's fine, yeah. Okay, okay. That

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was a close one. Okay, yeah, add it to the list.

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All right, things that are so bad, they're good.

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I love salt and vinegar chips, but also they're

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the worst invention. It's just two types of pain.

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And it rips your mouth apart. It rips your mouth

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apart, and then it burns you. But they're so

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good, it doesn't make any sense. They're so bad,

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they're good. Yeah, they are. So our bigger topic

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of today is so bad, they're good movies. There

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are a million and one things that I wanted to

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cover on this list, so there will be a list of

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honorable mentions at the end, because there's

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a lot of trash things that used to get made.

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And I'm, for the record, not including any of

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the prequels, sequels, and reboots, because I

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think, by and large, they're pretty crappy. Then

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how do you have anything left? That's why I believe

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the newest movie that I have on this list was

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technically like 2023. But that was kind of a

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one -off. All the rest of them are from the early

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2000s. No, I think that prequel, no, not prequels,

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I think sequels get a bad rap. Yeah. Dark Knight,

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way better than Batman Begins. Sure. Not better,

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not as bad as Dark Knight Rises, though. Well,

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yeah, so in that trilogy, like, it's a real hit

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or miss. You get one good sequel and one crappy

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sequel. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would still watch.

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I was in a hotel. This was a... For pleasure,

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not for work. I don't like the thing your eyebrows

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just did when you said that. I was in, where

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were we? We were in Shreveport. Okay. Bossier

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City, Louisiana. I brought my fire stick. You

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know what I didn't bring? The remote? The remote

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to my fire stick. So I was slumming it with cable

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TV. Tragic. Oh. Anyways. After watching a marathon

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of the Chipmunk movies, it was two and three.

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The Squeakquel and Chipwrecked? I think so. I

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don't think that I know that. No, it was definitely

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the Squeakquel. Maybe it was four. Yes, it was

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the road trip one. So it was that three and four,

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and I missed one and three. No, it was two and

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four, and I missed one and three. I think so.

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Okay. And then after that started the... Again,

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they didn't show Batman Begins. They just showed

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Dark Knight and then followed by The Dark Knight

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Rises. Okay. And then as we were leaving, we

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were watching Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls.

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So maybe this is just like some weird HBO where

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they don't show you the original. That's... So

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whenever it was around like Christmas time, we

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were in Oklahoma City in a hotel room. And the

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only thing that we caught was Home Alone 2, Lost

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in New York. Every time we came back to the hotel,

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it was only Home Alone 2. Is this like a known

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thing that HBO doesn't show originals? They just

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show sequels. Are they cheaper? Oh, I'm sure

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they're cheaper. No one's paying to watch. No

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one's paying for the streaming rights to the

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squeakles. Second one holds up. Lost me on the

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fourth one. But, you know, it was something.

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Jason Lee can sell me on most things. Speaking

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of Jason Lee, Dogma's coming back. I know. I

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saw him. I'm really excited for it. They finally

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got the rights back from Weinstein's. He who

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must not be named. So, yeah, I think that there

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are definitely some great sequels out there that

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improve upon the first, but for the most part,

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they suck. Look at all the ones that have been

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like were cult classics in their original form

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and then they just went to like another director

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to do the second one like Gremlins. Gremlins

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2 is garbage. Gremlins is a classic. It's a great

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movie. Wasn't Gremlins 2 like the whole thing

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behind it was that they went from like a horror

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movie to a comedy? Yeah. They tried to make like

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a family movie? I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

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no. I'm not a big sequels person. I will definitely

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be watching the... the prequels to the hunger

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games movies, because like I said, that book

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was really good. It's time to revisit it. But

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other than that, I'm not a, not a big fan. Um,

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but yeah, so I don't have any of those included

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in my list for today, but we are starting off

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really strong with battlefield earth. Have you

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seen battlefield earth? I've seen the memes,

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never seen it. I know that it stars Forrest Whitaker,

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John Travolta with dreads, and it is loosely.

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Based on the teachings of Scientology. It is

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indeed. So this is one of L. Ron Hubbard's sci

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-fi books. This is, I believe, pre -dianetics.

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Does it still have thetans in it? It doesn't.

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Are there e -meters? Silos, I think. I don't

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know. There are no thetans, I don't believe.

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Not from everything that I read. I did try to

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watch this movie and I made it about 20 minutes

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in. Isn't... Isn't After Earth also Scientology

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based? Is it? I think so. Will Smith and Jaden.

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Oh. And that was another colossal flop. No love

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for spaceship beep boop? No. One of the funniest

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things that I found in researching Battlefield

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Earth, because again, could not watch more than

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20 minutes of it, was that the first line of

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the synopsis is talking about how this is 3000

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AD. And referring to it as 3000 AD feels a little

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questionable considering... The background of

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the man who wrote the book. I mean, I'm not up

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to date. I don't know much past what South Park

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has taught me about Scientology. It's pretty

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solid. But I can't imagine that Jesus makes an

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appearance in Dianetics. Yeah, I don't think

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so. So who was the death? So we're out of the

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gate just wrong. Wrong. Yeah, apparently Jesus

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exists in this universe. The reason that I could

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not make it more than 20 minutes in is because

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if you watch the actual cinematography, I don't

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know why it looks like they lost a wheel on the

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dolly that holds the camera because the whole

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thing is done in Dutch angles. And it is so stressful

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to watch when everything is tilted. That's a

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choice. It is unbelievably dumb. Was that at

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all financed by the church? I think it was. Or

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by Travolta in between hanging out with his pilot

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friends. Hanging out with his pilot friends?

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Oh, you didn't know about that? No, there's lots

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of rumors about. Oh, I know. Something was hanging

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out. Yeah. Anyway, so this movie lost $15 million

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in the box office as a solid 3 % on Rotten Tomatoes.

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And in the, like, the briefest plot points, there's

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a guy. who John Travolta's character decides

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is valuable, so he puts this beam of information

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into this man. The world has ended, like the

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aliens have taken over, and so the humans that

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are left are these basically like Neanderthals.

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They're like cave people. So this one guy gets

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this beam of knowledge transmitted into his brain,

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and John Travolta teaches him how to fly. A plane,

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for the record. Oh, yeah. Making another pilot

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to hang out with. So this guy... teaches all

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of the other cave people how to fly jets that

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have not flown in a thousand years. Since 2000.

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Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And these cave people fly the

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jets to defeat the aliens. What do you think

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it's an allegory for? I just, I want to know

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what L. Ron Hubbard was smoking. Please don't

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come for me, Church of Scientology people. Just

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for a point of reference, okay, what'd you say

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Battlefield Earth has on Rotten Tomatoes? Three.

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Well, Wild Hogs has a 5 .9. God. This movie is

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widely considered one of Travolta's worst, which

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is insane, partially because of Wild Hogs, but

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also because he was in drag and hairspray. Mm

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-hmm. Mm -hmm. I mean, he wasn't the worst person

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in Hairspray because Nikki Blonsky has had a

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weird time online. Oh, man. Did you see her most

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recent cameo? Where she was pooping? Yeah. So,

00:12:02.919 --> 00:12:07.039
for the uninitiated, congratulations for being

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on the right side of the internet. This is Nikki

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Blonsky. Yeah. It is offensive. Cameo was a mistake.

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Yeah. Like there have been there have been things

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coming out about Nikki Blonsky forever and ever.

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Apparently she's like super racist. Against whom?

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I don't know. That is very much a tagline that

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I did not delve further into because I really

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everything I've learned about Nikki Blonsky has

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been against my will. But she was on Cameo and

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she was saying I think like happy birthday to

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a friend or to someone on Cameo sitting on the

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toilet and you can hear her making like. struggling

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noises it is it is rough and i think you hear

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a couple drops yeah throughout you do yeah yeah

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and um one of the interviews resurfaced from

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her time in hairspray where she's talking about

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how like i think they ask her if she thinks zach

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efron and vanessa hudgens are gonna get married

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and she was like no i love zach like he's my

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best friend and sorry girl but i don't think

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he's gonna marry you it's painful to watch do

00:13:14.370 --> 00:13:15.789
you think that has anything to do with ricky

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lake I don't really know anything about Rikki

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Leake. She was in the original Hairspray. Yeah.

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And she was that girl. And then she turned it

00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:28.200
into a career. So do you think that's what she

00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:31.840
was gunning for? Oh, for sure, yeah. She wanted

00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:36.120
to be like Rebel Wilson. Which Rebel Wilson's

00:13:36.120 --> 00:13:38.539
living her best life now. From what I hear. She's

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married and doing her own thing these days. I'm

00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:43.679
still Australian. I'm still Australian. She's

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one of those Olympic people. Yeah. Not the bobblehead.

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Anyway, I also feel like Hairspray deserves an

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honorable mention because it's not a good movie.

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I don't think it's so bad that it comes back

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around and is good. It's not a good movie. I

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think that everyone involved in the movie really

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gave it their all. I would believe that. That's

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worth something. Did Zac Efron actually sing

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his parts or did he bring in Drew for that too?

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I think he's sung in this one because he sang

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in High School Musicals 2 and 3. Oh, Link Larkin

00:14:19.029 --> 00:14:22.769
in Hairspray. Claim Latifah, Michelle Pfeiffer,

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Christopher Walken, Amanda. Yeah, Christopher

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Walken ends up with John Travolta. It's a deeply

00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:33.970
bizarre movie. But yeah, Battlefield Earth is

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considered one of his worst. They were nominated

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for a handful of both Razzies and Stinkers. I

00:14:40.169 --> 00:14:42.450
don't know what a Stinker Award is. They won

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several. But my absolute favorite of the Razzies

00:14:46.509 --> 00:14:48.950
that this thing won were Worst Picture of the

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Decade. Travolta was nominated for Worst Actor

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of the Decade. Of the Decade. Of the Decade,

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yeah. And my absolute favorite, this movie won

00:14:58.870 --> 00:15:02.830
Worst Screen Couple, which was awarded to John

00:15:02.830 --> 00:15:05.129
Travolta and anyone sharing the screen with him.

00:15:05.250 --> 00:15:08.129
That's not very nice. No, it isn't, but it's

00:15:08.129 --> 00:15:11.679
really funny. Wait, so... Worst actor of the

00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:15.879
decade. He won that? He won worst actor and was

00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:18.960
nominated for worst actor of the decade. So this

00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:22.820
movie was released in 2000. So were they just

00:15:22.820 --> 00:15:25.399
hedging their bets on there would be no other

00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:28.200
worse performances for the next 10 years? Or

00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.759
is it because it was probably filmed in like

00:15:30.759 --> 00:15:34.580
98, 99? It was for the 90s. No, so they circled

00:15:34.580 --> 00:15:37.980
back. So a lot of the Razzies and stuff and like

00:15:37.980 --> 00:15:39.950
the stinkers and stuff, they were. nominated

00:15:39.950 --> 00:15:42.649
for were in 2000 when the original movie came

00:15:42.649 --> 00:15:46.049
out um but in 2010 was when they brought back

00:15:46.049 --> 00:15:49.590
the all of the of the decades oh um so they had

00:15:49.590 --> 00:15:53.929
some beef with this movie um but yeah there was

00:15:53.929 --> 00:15:58.149
supposed to be a sequel in 2003 okay uh i don't

00:15:58.149 --> 00:15:59.649
know if that one would have also been based on

00:15:59.649 --> 00:16:03.070
a book i don't think so um battlefield mars battlefield

00:16:03.070 --> 00:16:07.559
uranus Boo. That's what you get after Taco Bell.

00:16:07.820 --> 00:16:10.600
This is why we can't have nice things. So it

00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:12.840
was supposed to have a sequel in 2002, and then

00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:16.779
they pushed it back for a year until 2003, and

00:16:16.779 --> 00:16:19.940
then they decided that because of how awful everyone

00:16:19.940 --> 00:16:22.059
thought Battlefield Earth was, that they were

00:16:22.059 --> 00:16:23.580
just not going to do it. And I feel like that

00:16:23.580 --> 00:16:25.200
one had to have been bankrolled by John Travolta.

00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:27.580
There's no way that movie was getting a sequel.

00:16:27.820 --> 00:16:30.480
No. Also, is Forrest Whitaker a Scientologist?

00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:32.279
That's what I was wondering. I don't know. I

00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:35.940
just saw him in the movie. Payphone with Colin

00:16:35.940 --> 00:16:40.240
Farrell. Yeah, it's a thriller. Okay. About a

00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:45.740
PR guy that is being held hostage in a payphone

00:16:45.740 --> 00:16:49.659
by a sniper. Yeah, that's a decent movie. It's

00:16:49.659 --> 00:16:52.899
got some holes, but Forrest Whitaker is like

00:16:52.899 --> 00:16:56.019
the police chief. Okay. And they make mention

00:16:56.019 --> 00:16:59.259
of him getting some guy killed, and then that's

00:16:59.259 --> 00:17:02.909
it. Oh. And they never go back to it again. And,

00:17:02.950 --> 00:17:06.150
like, he's just coming back from leave for this

00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:08.730
incident. And then he's just like, you're not

00:17:08.730 --> 00:17:10.349
going to let it happen. What happened to the

00:17:10.349 --> 00:17:13.609
last guy? And then they just, nothing ever comes

00:17:13.609 --> 00:17:17.970
of it. Oh, okay. And the whole time, it's very

00:17:17.970 --> 00:17:19.829
distracting because the guy on the pay phone,

00:17:19.910 --> 00:17:23.029
the sniper, is Kiefer Sutherland. It's very obviously

00:17:23.029 --> 00:17:26.150
Kiefer Sutherland. And then at the very end.

00:17:26.539 --> 00:17:27.859
It's like a surprise reveal. You get a little

00:17:27.859 --> 00:17:31.079
glimpse and, oh, is that Kiefer Sutherland? Yeah.

00:17:31.660 --> 00:17:36.259
It was Jack Bauer the whole time. Oh, it's on

00:17:36.259 --> 00:17:42.019
Max, I think. Okay. It's worth checking out for

00:17:42.019 --> 00:17:46.519
A Way to Kill just over an hour. I will keep

00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:48.500
that in mind. I have a million things to watch

00:17:48.500 --> 00:17:51.220
that I think would be... Phone booth. Phone booth,

00:17:51.299 --> 00:17:54.220
not payphone. Phone booth. Okay. That's lost

00:17:54.220 --> 00:17:57.940
to time. Yeah. What is a phone booth anymore?

00:17:58.259 --> 00:18:01.819
He's on a pay phone in a phone booth in New York

00:18:01.819 --> 00:18:08.599
City. He gets attacked by some hookers. Oh. Okay.

00:18:08.740 --> 00:18:11.619
And then there's a guy that's attacking because

00:18:11.619 --> 00:18:13.779
he has to stay in this phone booth. He's got

00:18:13.779 --> 00:18:17.059
like, oh, Lord. The more I break this down, the

00:18:17.059 --> 00:18:20.299
worse it is. Yeah. He's got a laser sight on

00:18:20.299 --> 00:18:23.119
him. But then this other guy starts hassling

00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:25.980
him and he's like. You better get him away from

00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:27.920
there or I'm going to take the shot. You want

00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:29.500
me to take him out? You want me to take him out?

00:18:29.539 --> 00:18:31.500
And this dude. So the sniper gets him in the

00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:34.539
back. It's like the quietest shot ever. And then

00:18:34.539 --> 00:18:36.380
he just like a little pool of blood on his back

00:18:36.380 --> 00:18:38.559
and then he just falls on the ground. This whole

00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:41.079
time, all these people see this guy fighting

00:18:41.079 --> 00:18:43.480
with Colin Farrell and they're face to face.

00:18:43.660 --> 00:18:46.339
And then this guy gets shot in the back. And

00:18:46.339 --> 00:18:49.039
then everyone's like, we saw you shoot him. We

00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:51.759
saw you shoot him. So just admit it. Just admit

00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:55.490
that you shot him. yeah it's one of those movies

00:18:55.490 --> 00:18:57.950
you can't break it down yeah it's just be glad

00:18:57.950 --> 00:19:01.650
you got to experience it and then yeah okay i

00:19:01.650 --> 00:19:04.829
mean that does feel very on brand for this episode

00:19:04.829 --> 00:19:08.890
it fits this category it does yeah that um yeah

00:19:08.890 --> 00:19:13.109
the everything from the cgi the the casting the

00:19:13.109 --> 00:19:15.990
premise everything about it about battlefield

00:19:15.990 --> 00:19:19.609
earth is just terrible yeah and maybe maybe i'm

00:19:19.609 --> 00:19:21.170
a little bit wrong because i didn't watch the

00:19:21.170 --> 00:19:24.319
whole movie i'm just going off everything that

00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:26.099
I've read about it because I couldn't watch the

00:19:26.099 --> 00:19:29.220
movie. What if nobody actually made it past the

00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:32.880
first 20 minutes and the last hour 10 is just

00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:37.059
the greatest masterpiece ever put to film? I

00:19:37.059 --> 00:19:40.660
would grant you that possibility if it weren't

00:19:40.660 --> 00:19:43.319
for John Travolta being the lead. Does he have

00:19:43.319 --> 00:19:45.259
an accent? Seems like you have an accent in that

00:19:45.259 --> 00:19:51.539
one. No. The dreads, the nose rings. Oof. No,

00:19:51.559 --> 00:19:56.160
he just sounds like John Travolta. Hey, Forrest,

00:19:56.279 --> 00:20:03.720
why are you doing this to me? Oh, God. Terrible.

00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:07.940
Does Mr. Cotter make an appearance? Like in a

00:20:07.940 --> 00:20:10.880
flashback? I never watched that show. You never

00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:12.660
watched Welcome Back, Cotter? No. That's where

00:20:12.660 --> 00:20:14.940
you got to start. Well before my time. Well,

00:20:14.940 --> 00:20:15.940
it was well before mine, too. Well before your

00:20:15.940 --> 00:20:21.049
time, too. Yeah, no. Almost all things with John

00:20:21.049 --> 00:20:23.309
Travolta, I think, belong on this list. Pulp

00:20:23.309 --> 00:20:26.630
Fiction. No, never mind. Belong on the Razzie

00:20:26.630 --> 00:20:29.210
list, not the so bad they're good. Pulp Fiction

00:20:29.210 --> 00:20:34.349
is great. I'm not a face -off person. Saturday

00:20:34.349 --> 00:20:38.750
Night Fever. Okay. Urban Cowboy. Grease. It's

00:20:38.750 --> 00:20:41.809
a 50. His early days were fine. It was when he

00:20:41.809 --> 00:20:45.910
moved on to the Scientology stuff and the pilot

00:20:45.910 --> 00:20:50.029
stuff. His new age stuff is bad. Okay, I'll give

00:20:50.029 --> 00:20:53.670
you that. Everything, like, I'm going to say

00:20:53.670 --> 00:20:57.190
post -2000. So the millennium really did him

00:20:57.190 --> 00:20:59.890
dirty. Yeah. Because he got a huge resurgence

00:20:59.890 --> 00:21:03.529
with Pulp Fiction. Yeah. Everyone forgot he existed,

00:21:03.529 --> 00:21:07.069
and then all of a sudden, Michael was a good

00:21:07.069 --> 00:21:11.450
movie. He was an angel. Yeah. I've definitely

00:21:11.450 --> 00:21:13.349
seen that one. That was one of Greg's favorites,

00:21:13.430 --> 00:21:20.230
I think. Yeah. But yeah, no, not a fan of John

00:21:20.230 --> 00:21:24.869
Travolta. Speaking of Greg, our uncle, I don't

00:21:24.869 --> 00:21:26.490
know how I haven't mentioned this before, but

00:21:26.490 --> 00:21:30.930
I told Emily that Greg had his nipples pierced.

00:21:31.369 --> 00:21:33.529
I didn't know if it was one. It was just one?

00:21:33.650 --> 00:21:38.470
Yeah. And she was taken aback by that. Why? I

00:21:38.470 --> 00:21:40.769
don't know. She doesn't know him. That's fair.

00:21:40.990 --> 00:21:43.869
But it... It feels on brand for him. It does,

00:21:44.009 --> 00:21:48.450
yeah. So, hey, Greg. Is he one of our listeners?

00:21:49.029 --> 00:21:51.910
I don't think so. I wouldn't think so. I wouldn't

00:21:51.910 --> 00:21:55.549
think so. We have our listener somewhere floating

00:21:55.549 --> 00:21:58.789
around in the Atlantic. Floating around in the

00:21:58.789 --> 00:22:01.809
Atlantic? Are they just like on a remote island

00:22:01.809 --> 00:22:03.549
somewhere? Is Amelia Earhart listening to our

00:22:03.549 --> 00:22:06.509
podcast? I don't think it's anywhere near Howlin'

00:22:06.509 --> 00:22:10.789
Island, but we do, according to our analytics,

00:22:11.109 --> 00:22:14.390
we have a listener from the Russian Federation.

00:22:14.970 --> 00:22:19.500
Oh, okay. On the map, there's no dot anywhere

00:22:19.500 --> 00:22:24.380
near Russia, but we do have a dot in the middle

00:22:24.380 --> 00:22:27.240
of the Atlantic Ocean. So I'm assuming we're

00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:31.119
hot with Russian submariners. Oh, I'd love that

00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:36.960
for us. I think. That's pretty divisive right

00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:40.680
now. That's fair. We want listeners. We're politically

00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:46.099
neutral. If we had Ukrainian... People listening

00:22:46.099 --> 00:22:49.240
to our stuff, we would shout that out too. But

00:22:49.240 --> 00:22:53.900
right now, as it stands, we're hot in Russia

00:22:53.900 --> 00:22:59.559
right now. So, Zelensky, get on it. Okay. That's

00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:02.980
a take you can have. He's... I mean, what else

00:23:02.980 --> 00:23:06.019
has he got going on? Not saying thank you at

00:23:06.019 --> 00:23:09.640
the White House. Oh. What a fun year this has

00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:13.319
been already. All right. So, my next one is...

00:23:13.609 --> 00:23:16.089
Out of the mind of Lorne Michaels, or it's under

00:23:16.089 --> 00:23:19.089
his production studio at least. Mm -hmm. It is

00:23:19.089 --> 00:23:21.569
also one of the lowest rated things on IMDb,

00:23:21.569 --> 00:23:27.130
or Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah. Mm. It's Pat. What?

00:23:27.309 --> 00:23:32.809
Pat? No. It's not Pat? No. Oh. You do not know

00:23:32.809 --> 00:23:39.210
about Pat? No. It was a skit from early 90s.

00:23:39.740 --> 00:23:42.619
I don't remember what actress it was, but she

00:23:42.619 --> 00:23:46.039
was sexually androgynous, and everything she

00:23:46.039 --> 00:23:48.920
said was very sexually androgynous. Like, you

00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:51.019
couldn't tell if you were speaking to a man or

00:23:51.019 --> 00:23:53.980
a woman. Okay. And that was the whole gag. Oh.

00:23:54.099 --> 00:23:57.000
But that was a movie. They turned that skit into

00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:02.339
a movie, and it's gone down as one of the worst

00:24:02.339 --> 00:24:07.160
SNL movies. Oh. I missed an opportunity. This

00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:09.529
one has a zero on. Rotten Tomatoes. What's her

00:24:09.529 --> 00:24:17.690
name? This is... Julia Sweeney. Yeah. The skits

00:24:17.690 --> 00:24:20.210
were fine. It just wasn't a premise that could

00:24:20.210 --> 00:24:23.589
hold up for an entire movie. And I think by the

00:24:23.589 --> 00:24:25.289
time the movie came out, it was a pretty tired

00:24:25.289 --> 00:24:33.349
premise anyways. Well, I did not include that

00:24:33.349 --> 00:24:35.150
one on the list. Didn't know it existed. But

00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:39.130
it is a different SNL alum. Yeah? What is it?

00:24:39.670 --> 00:24:44.029
Master of Disguise. I have an issue with that.

00:24:44.470 --> 00:24:48.349
Okay. So, first of all, I do love this movie.

00:24:48.910 --> 00:24:52.369
I did re -watch it relatively recently. And I

00:24:52.369 --> 00:24:54.650
can see why it has a one on Rotten Tomatoes.

00:24:55.569 --> 00:24:59.470
It is... A one seems a little aggressive. When

00:24:59.470 --> 00:25:00.990
was the last time you watched this movie? Not

00:25:00.990 --> 00:25:05.809
that long ago. I think a one feels fitting. I

00:25:05.809 --> 00:25:11.539
like it. But quality -wise, it's deserved. The

00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:19.779
main character's name in this movie is Pistachio

00:25:19.779 --> 00:25:24.279
Disguisey. It's not exactly Oscar -worthy cinema.

00:25:24.279 --> 00:25:26.740
Become another person. Become another person.

00:25:26.980 --> 00:25:33.559
Come on. No, that movie is great. It's a great

00:25:33.559 --> 00:25:36.599
movie, but it is cheesy as hell. Why not turtley

00:25:36.599 --> 00:25:39.920
enough for the turtle club? Fun fact, that was

00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:43.920
filmed on 9 -11. That was one of my fun facts

00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:46.299
about this movie. Oh, sorry. That's not a fun

00:25:46.299 --> 00:25:48.680
fact, but that's one of my facts about this movie.

00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:52.079
Sorry about that. I just Dana Carvey in a bald

00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:54.380
cap and a turtle costume turning on the news.

00:25:55.119 --> 00:26:00.339
Dana, did you hear? Turtle. Do you think he did

00:26:00.339 --> 00:26:02.839
it in character? He reacted? I would hope so.

00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:06.559
I would hope that Dana would bring some levity,

00:26:06.680 --> 00:26:11.440
some comedy to the situation. He just popped

00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:14.880
his head in the costume. He's one I'd love to

00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:18.240
meet. Yeah, me too. If they want to get us on

00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.339
Fly on the Wall, I'd love to be there. I would

00:26:21.339 --> 00:26:23.539
love to meet both him and David Spade. I love

00:26:23.539 --> 00:26:26.079
David Spade. I'm a little hit or miss on David

00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:29.710
Spade. I think... Like, performance -wise, there

00:26:29.710 --> 00:26:32.509
have been a decent amount of not great things.

00:26:32.789 --> 00:26:34.769
I don't like the sequel that he made for Joe

00:26:34.769 --> 00:26:41.369
Dirt. Joe Dirtay, my apologies. Yeah, it's just

00:26:41.369 --> 00:26:46.789
the... I saw it before I had ever seen It's a

00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:51.210
Wonderful Life. Like, I knew the synopsis. Like,

00:26:51.230 --> 00:26:54.869
I knew the trope of following the It's a Wonderful

00:26:54.869 --> 00:26:58.269
Life pattern, but... Yeah, I think I haven't

00:26:58.269 --> 00:27:00.910
seen it since then. I don't think that I would

00:27:00.910 --> 00:27:04.890
altogether enjoy it now. But Joe Dirt 1 holds

00:27:04.890 --> 00:27:08.549
a very special place in my heart. Sure, yeah.

00:27:08.589 --> 00:27:10.109
I bet you got that fireworks speech memorized.

00:27:10.690 --> 00:27:12.589
I got it on a t -shirt. I wear it every Fourth

00:27:12.589 --> 00:27:15.289
of July. We watch Joe Dirt every Fourth of July.

00:27:15.829 --> 00:27:19.490
As you should. As we should. Also, the dad movie

00:27:19.490 --> 00:27:21.950
that he did where he was basically still Joe

00:27:21.950 --> 00:27:25.069
Dirt recently. Oh, yeah. It was a Netflix movie.

00:27:25.289 --> 00:27:28.609
Mm -hmm. Dad of the Year? Yeah, I think so. Something

00:27:28.609 --> 00:27:33.509
like that. That one was not good. No. The Wrong

00:27:33.509 --> 00:27:37.690
Missy was a good movie. I liked that one. I mean,

00:27:37.769 --> 00:27:39.710
any of the movies where he's like the fish out

00:27:39.710 --> 00:27:42.509
of water, but when he's the straight man, it's

00:27:42.509 --> 00:27:44.509
good. Yeah, but it's been hard for him to be

00:27:44.509 --> 00:27:47.609
the straight man since he lost his... Because

00:27:47.609 --> 00:27:49.049
he's so gay? Is that what you're saying? Fat

00:27:49.049 --> 00:27:51.990
guy in a little coat. No, not because he's so

00:27:51.990 --> 00:27:56.519
gay. You heard it here first. She thinks that

00:27:56.519 --> 00:28:01.119
David Spade is a homosexual. Also, he did one

00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:05.460
of the most iconic roles, which is Gusco, my

00:28:05.460 --> 00:28:09.059
first new groove. Gusco! That's a good one. Pull

00:28:09.059 --> 00:28:14.539
the lever, crunk. Pull the lever. Grade A. But,

00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:17.400
I mean, if you go through, like, Lorne Michaels'

00:28:17.640 --> 00:28:22.259
filmography, I think that Master of Disguise

00:28:22.259 --> 00:28:24.500
was one of the weaker ones. Because you're putting

00:28:24.500 --> 00:28:27.660
it up against like the Austin Powers, the Wayne's

00:28:27.660 --> 00:28:31.900
Worlds, the old school. The Lorne Michaels. Was

00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:35.099
that Austin Powers? I mean, it makes sense just

00:28:35.099 --> 00:28:37.880
because of the. Because Dr. Evil is Lorne Michaels.

00:28:39.059 --> 00:28:43.460
Yeah. Not at the Roxbury. Are you a fan? Not

00:28:43.460 --> 00:28:45.380
particularly. I don't like Chris Kattan. Why

00:28:45.380 --> 00:28:47.339
not? I have never been a fan. I don't know why.

00:28:47.619 --> 00:28:49.880
I don't like. I don't know if I don't like the

00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:52.619
things he's in. Have you ever seen Corky Romano?

00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:57.539
Yeah. Corky Romano's funny. What is that? It's

00:28:57.539 --> 00:29:04.240
he, his family is a, they're mafiosos and they

00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.940
need to send him in undercover as an FBI agent.

00:29:08.160 --> 00:29:10.160
Okay. That's a good movie. You should check it

00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:13.980
out. I, yeah, I don't know. I was just never.

00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:17.480
He did something on SNL and apparently it destroyed

00:29:17.480 --> 00:29:19.779
his back and he wasn't able to work after that.

00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:24.839
Oh. Huh. I didn't know that. After this episode

00:29:24.839 --> 00:29:26.319
is over, I'll have to figure out what happened

00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:29.720
to Chris Kattan. I'm curious. There you go. Yeah,

00:29:29.819 --> 00:29:32.380
I think that Lorne Michaels put out a lot of

00:29:32.380 --> 00:29:35.940
really great, like, 90s, early 2000s comedies,

00:29:35.940 --> 00:29:37.880
and I don't think that Master of Disguise was

00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:42.539
on the same caliber. Granted, I mean, I definitely

00:29:42.539 --> 00:29:46.420
think it beats out, like, Superstar and a certain

00:29:46.420 --> 00:29:48.940
amount of the Lorne Michaels things. They can't

00:29:48.940 --> 00:29:53.000
all be stellar. Yeah, I mean, it's a kid's movie,

00:29:53.140 --> 00:29:54.400
so you have to look at it through that lens.

00:29:54.740 --> 00:30:01.759
Sure, yeah. And I would watch it tonight. Maybe

00:30:01.759 --> 00:30:04.200
I will. I would, too. It's a good movie, but

00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:07.140
it's also a really bad movie. That's fair. That's

00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:11.740
fair. What else you got? The Room. Never seen

00:30:11.740 --> 00:30:14.440
it. I know. I feel like we've had this discussion

00:30:14.440 --> 00:30:17.339
many times at this point, but The Room is one

00:30:17.339 --> 00:30:21.049
of the, like... quintessential i think so bad

00:30:21.049 --> 00:30:24.470
it's good movies i'm not gonna do my impression

00:30:24.470 --> 00:30:26.589
because you said it sounds like somebody else

00:30:26.589 --> 00:30:30.710
so what impression uh where i say it's tearing

00:30:30.710 --> 00:30:34.690
me apart lisa and then you're like i don't remember

00:30:34.690 --> 00:30:36.829
who you said i don't remember who i said it sounded

00:30:36.829 --> 00:30:41.710
like oh you sounded like king julian from madagascar

00:30:41.710 --> 00:30:49.819
please do it no no Okay, fine. Well, in that

00:30:49.819 --> 00:30:52.220
case, dear listeners, because he doesn't care

00:30:52.220 --> 00:30:55.220
about you guys as much as I do, his impression

00:30:55.220 --> 00:30:57.900
of Tommy Wiseau sounds like King Julian from

00:30:57.900 --> 00:31:00.799
Madagascar. It's entertaining. And I disagree,

00:31:01.019 --> 00:31:03.420
but you know what? There's only one way that

00:31:03.420 --> 00:31:07.079
we could make this a poll on Instagram, on your

00:31:07.079 --> 00:31:12.319
story. Our story. Yeah. We'll see. We'll save

00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:14.700
it for the end. Now you gotta hang around until

00:31:14.700 --> 00:31:19.519
the end of the episode. So The Room was a movie

00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:23.460
that is just surrounded by a lot of weird stuff.

00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:26.720
It was made by a very, a phenomenally weird man.

00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.859
Very eccentric. With very questionable origins.

00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:34.779
He's really dodgy about like where he got his

00:31:34.779 --> 00:31:39.920
money and where he came from. Like the name that

00:31:39.920 --> 00:31:43.579
he uses, Tommy Wiseau, is a name that he picked

00:31:43.579 --> 00:31:46.759
up when he moved to the U .S. And it was just

00:31:46.759 --> 00:31:49.980
because he had seen these like when he first

00:31:49.980 --> 00:31:54.880
got here, he had seen someone selling like bird

00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:58.440
toys on the street. And so he decided that his

00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:00.359
new last name was going to be Wiseau, which is

00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:02.420
just, I think, bird in French or something like

00:32:02.420 --> 00:32:06.460
that. And so we don't know any of the origins

00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:11.980
of Tommy Wiseau. He's a mystery. Yeah. The best

00:32:11.980 --> 00:32:14.940
thing about this movie is that there is an experience.

00:32:15.660 --> 00:32:17.519
If you go to see it in a theater. So it still

00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:19.819
makes its rounds at like indie theaters and stuff

00:32:19.819 --> 00:32:22.240
every single year. I know because I've gone to

00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:26.180
three of them, I believe. I have met Tommy Wiseau

00:32:26.180 --> 00:32:29.799
three times now. He's a very bizarre man. He

00:32:29.799 --> 00:32:32.500
always wears an excess of belts. Very interesting.

00:32:32.779 --> 00:32:36.779
I owned a pair of boxers made by his brand that

00:32:36.779 --> 00:32:41.460
were surprisingly well made. Huh. What's his

00:32:41.460 --> 00:32:45.369
brand called? It's just like Tommy. Not Hilfiger.

00:32:46.109 --> 00:32:50.970
Although. I wonder if our airplane fella had

00:32:50.970 --> 00:32:54.069
on Tommy Wiseau because he got confused. That

00:32:54.069 --> 00:32:55.809
would be so great. You should have spoken to

00:32:55.809 --> 00:32:57.890
this man. What if it was Tommy Wiseau? I should

00:32:57.890 --> 00:32:59.970
have. Next time I will know that I need to speak

00:32:59.970 --> 00:33:03.250
to him. But yeah, so the watching experience

00:33:03.250 --> 00:33:05.630
of this movie is really fun in the same way that

00:33:05.630 --> 00:33:08.750
like Rocky Horror is really fun to watch in theaters

00:33:08.750 --> 00:33:11.690
because it becomes this like. There's a lot of

00:33:11.690 --> 00:33:13.730
weird, like, rituals and stuff that you're supposed

00:33:13.730 --> 00:33:17.230
to do with it. This isn't a cult. How dare you

00:33:17.230 --> 00:33:19.210
talk to me like that? Sorry. You should tell

00:33:19.210 --> 00:33:21.549
me everything. Sorry, I'm saving that for the

00:33:21.549 --> 00:33:28.430
end. Oh, my God. There is really no plot to this

00:33:28.430 --> 00:33:31.549
movie. There's a bunch of, like, just random

00:33:31.549 --> 00:33:35.250
scenes that felt like it was written by ChatGBT

00:33:35.250 --> 00:33:37.410
but decades before ChatGBT. So it's not even

00:33:37.410 --> 00:33:43.160
contained to a room? It is not. It is, it's a,

00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:44.960
it's a bizarre movie. I definitely recommend

00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:47.299
watching it because I don't even really know

00:33:47.299 --> 00:33:51.299
how to explain any of it. It's one of those like

00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:55.220
fever dream kind of movies. But if you go to

00:33:55.220 --> 00:33:57.579
see it in theaters, someone always brings a football

00:33:57.579 --> 00:34:02.940
and everyone brings plastic spoons because there

00:34:02.940 --> 00:34:07.599
is a, an inordinate amount of like play and catch

00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.590
scenes. with a football because there's a kid

00:34:10.590 --> 00:34:12.670
who's supposed to be like, I think he's supposed

00:34:12.670 --> 00:34:14.849
to be like 10 or something, but he's very clearly

00:34:14.849 --> 00:34:20.210
like 18 years old. This is a whole adult. And

00:34:20.210 --> 00:34:25.289
all of the, all of the background in this movie

00:34:25.289 --> 00:34:27.869
has like picture frames and stuff. And every

00:34:27.869 --> 00:34:30.469
picture frame is just pictures of spoons. And

00:34:30.469 --> 00:34:32.750
so the ritual behind this, if you're watching

00:34:32.750 --> 00:34:35.150
it in a theater is that you're supposed to throw.

00:34:35.659 --> 00:34:38.500
spoons at the screen as soon as you see the picture

00:34:38.500 --> 00:34:41.800
frames of just random cutlery in the background

00:34:41.800 --> 00:34:44.719
shots. And the spoons are never explained. Nope.

00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:47.360
Nothing in this movie is ever explained. If you

00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:49.900
are looking for explanations, you don't understand

00:34:49.900 --> 00:34:54.599
the room. It is, however, not the only movie

00:34:54.599 --> 00:34:56.800
this man has made. He made another one called

00:34:56.800 --> 00:35:01.719
Best Friends in which Tommy Wiseau is a mortician.

00:35:02.199 --> 00:35:06.420
Oh. And Greg Sestero, the other guy that's in

00:35:06.420 --> 00:35:10.219
the room, is a homeless man who comes to work

00:35:10.219 --> 00:35:13.239
for Tommy Wiseau and starts selling tooth fillings.

00:35:13.780 --> 00:35:22.340
Is that Mark? Yes. And so that one I do actually

00:35:22.340 --> 00:35:24.760
recommend. It's an interesting watch in a better

00:35:24.760 --> 00:35:31.230
way than the room. Okay. On top of... Best friends

00:35:31.230 --> 00:35:34.150
in the room. There is a movie made about the

00:35:34.150 --> 00:35:37.090
making of the room with the Franco brothers.

00:35:38.210 --> 00:35:41.110
So Dave Franco and James Franco called the disaster

00:35:41.110 --> 00:35:45.030
artist, which was that any good? I haven't seen,

00:35:45.050 --> 00:35:46.690
I didn't watch it because I hadn't seen the room.

00:35:46.769 --> 00:35:49.309
Yeah. Uh, so I watched the disaster artist, I

00:35:49.309 --> 00:35:51.610
think before I watched the room and then I didn't.

00:35:51.690 --> 00:35:55.690
And then after that it came to Dallas where Tommy

00:35:55.690 --> 00:35:57.329
Wiseau was doing this whole like screening thing.

00:35:57.429 --> 00:35:59.389
And so he went and it was actually just, it was

00:35:59.389 --> 00:36:03.300
a lot of fun. But the Disaster Artist was pretty

00:36:03.300 --> 00:36:08.460
good. It goes into how bizarre this man is. I

00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:10.139
don't think that Tommy Wiseau had anything to

00:36:10.139 --> 00:36:12.239
do with Disaster Artist, though. I think it was

00:36:12.239 --> 00:36:16.500
all Greg Sestero with the Francos. How was it

00:36:16.500 --> 00:36:20.760
received by Tommy? Is there anything on that?

00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:23.780
I don't think he had any issues with it. But

00:36:23.780 --> 00:36:26.519
his presence online is as strange as the rest

00:36:26.519 --> 00:36:30.019
of him. So he'll just... In the same way that,

00:36:30.039 --> 00:36:33.480
like, Shaq will tweet out, like, at Knott's Berry

00:36:33.480 --> 00:36:37.500
Farm, ah, that's me yelling. That's kind of the

00:36:37.500 --> 00:36:40.239
caliber of tweets that you get from Tommy Wiseau.

00:36:40.519 --> 00:36:43.219
We don't know how he feels about anything. National

00:36:43.219 --> 00:36:46.639
treasures. National treasures, yeah. But we don't

00:36:46.639 --> 00:36:49.440
even know what nation or what nationality. What

00:36:49.440 --> 00:36:53.519
nation. What nation. We don't know what nation

00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:57.380
he's a treasurer of. Shockingly. this movie has

00:36:57.380 --> 00:37:01.480
a 24 on rotten tomatoes that is 24 times the

00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:06.139
quality of master of disguise that's just not

00:37:06.139 --> 00:37:09.019
fair but it is not i absolutely agree with you

00:37:09.019 --> 00:37:12.840
okay what's crazy though because i was looking

00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:14.619
up all the like stats on these movies because

00:37:14.619 --> 00:37:15.960
i was trying to figure out like how to order

00:37:15.960 --> 00:37:18.099
them if i should do like their rotten tomato

00:37:18.099 --> 00:37:22.219
scores their uh profit or loss or whatever or

00:37:22.940 --> 00:37:25.179
Just like the year that they came out. And I

00:37:25.179 --> 00:37:26.420
ended up doing the year they came out because

00:37:26.420 --> 00:37:28.500
I didn't realize that Master of Disguise profited

00:37:28.500 --> 00:37:32.159
$30 million. As it should. As it should, sure.

00:37:32.619 --> 00:37:36.519
It profited $30 million. And The Room only lost,

00:37:36.519 --> 00:37:39.119
I think, $800 ,000. What was the budget, do you

00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:43.400
know? $6 million. Oh. But considering it wasn't

00:37:43.400 --> 00:37:45.400
backed by a studio or anything, it was just like

00:37:45.400 --> 00:37:48.840
a dude who put out a movie. So he just, I mean,

00:37:48.860 --> 00:37:50.960
I'm sure he's made up that $800 ,000 since then.

00:37:51.059 --> 00:37:53.260
Oh, for sure, yeah. Especially after the disaster

00:37:53.260 --> 00:37:57.079
artist. He's playing the long game. He is. He's

00:37:57.079 --> 00:37:59.780
been playing 3D chess. Respect to Tommy Wiseau.

00:38:00.059 --> 00:38:09.639
4D chess. Everyone plays 3D chess. I play chess

00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:12.420
on my phone, so technically it's 2D chess. Okay,

00:38:12.539 --> 00:38:19.619
well, nerd. Look, Magnus Carlton over here. Magnus.

00:38:19.619 --> 00:38:23.219
What? What's his name? Magnus. What's like the

00:38:23.219 --> 00:38:31.000
Grand Wizard? Okay. What are they called? Not

00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:34.639
Grand Wizards. I mean, I think Dumbledore was

00:38:34.639 --> 00:38:37.739
kind of a Grand Wizard. I liked him. He was good

00:38:37.739 --> 00:38:41.239
at what he did. Magnus. Carlson. Carlson, yeah.

00:38:42.500 --> 00:38:45.619
Should I have said Bobby Fischer? Bobby Fischer

00:38:45.619 --> 00:38:49.460
over here. Nothing? No. How do you know so many

00:38:49.460 --> 00:38:51.059
professional chess players? You just called me

00:38:51.059 --> 00:38:54.340
a nerd? Do you not know the story about the...

00:38:54.340 --> 00:38:59.280
I mean, I kind of did a deep dive into it a couple

00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:03.239
years ago because they were playing virtually,

00:39:03.420 --> 00:39:06.960
I think. No, maybe they were playing in person.

00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:10.119
Anyways, look up the story. I don't have all

00:39:10.119 --> 00:39:13.340
the details readily available, but there were

00:39:13.340 --> 00:39:18.880
vibrating butt plugs in play. To cheat. Huh.

00:39:20.219 --> 00:39:22.320
I'm not going to look up the story. Look up the

00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:24.619
story. I won't. That's worth it. I'm good. That's

00:39:24.619 --> 00:39:27.059
worth it. That is as much information as I could

00:39:27.059 --> 00:39:29.980
possibly glean from whatever happened here. Some

00:39:29.980 --> 00:39:33.639
fella was cheating by using a vibrating butt

00:39:33.639 --> 00:39:37.219
plug. Yeah, no, I got that one. Okay, well, there

00:39:37.219 --> 00:39:41.039
you go. Noticed, yeah. Interesting. Mm -hmm.

00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:44.639
I don't know how to follow that up, so I'm just

00:39:44.639 --> 00:39:52.269
going to push on. So my next movie is I think

00:39:52.269 --> 00:39:54.210
my favorite, definitely my favorite on the list,

00:39:54.369 --> 00:39:56.989
Cat in the Hat. I quote Cat in the Hat all the

00:39:56.989 --> 00:40:01.769
time. I do too. You dirty hoe. I'm sorry, baby.

00:40:01.809 --> 00:40:09.030
You know I love you. It's such a great movie.

00:40:10.050 --> 00:40:13.090
So the reason that this one made the list so

00:40:13.090 --> 00:40:15.289
bad it's good is because I think it was well

00:40:15.289 --> 00:40:17.840
regarded amongst audiences. And also, I have

00:40:17.840 --> 00:40:19.480
a soft spot for Mike Myers. I think I've liked

00:40:19.480 --> 00:40:23.340
everything that I've seen him in. Have you seen

00:40:23.340 --> 00:40:27.019
The Pentavarant? His Netflix show? All right.

00:40:27.219 --> 00:40:29.480
I stand corrected. Most of the things I like

00:40:29.480 --> 00:40:33.599
him in. Love Guru. Aces. Mariska Hargitay. Mariska

00:40:33.599 --> 00:40:38.519
Hargitay. But no, I like Mike Myers in most things.

00:40:38.519 --> 00:40:42.610
But this movie... caused the Dr. Seuss estate

00:40:42.610 --> 00:40:45.670
to refuse any other live action movies based

00:40:45.670 --> 00:40:48.929
on his IP. Which is crazy. It is, because especially

00:40:48.929 --> 00:40:54.349
that was following right after... Actually, was

00:40:54.349 --> 00:40:58.869
it right before Grinch? No, it was after. I was

00:40:58.869 --> 00:41:00.250
about to say, because I thought... Grinch was

00:41:00.250 --> 00:41:04.170
2000, Cat in the Hat was like 2002, 2003. Okay.

00:41:05.070 --> 00:41:09.639
Pretty sure. That sounds right. But yeah, this

00:41:09.639 --> 00:41:12.059
movie was so bad that the Dr. Seuss estate refused

00:41:12.059 --> 00:41:15.820
to do any more live -action movies. Which, I

00:41:15.820 --> 00:41:19.199
mean, is not... It's not a terrible loss just

00:41:19.199 --> 00:41:20.920
because I think those were the only ones that

00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:24.440
really could have done live -action. I don't

00:41:24.440 --> 00:41:26.860
think that I'd want to see the live -action Lorax.

00:41:28.179 --> 00:41:32.000
Or Danny DeVito in a bodysuit with a gigantic

00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:36.179
mustache. The ending scene of the Lorax is so

00:41:36.179 --> 00:41:39.880
bizarre. Because the Lorax just like picks himself

00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:43.719
up by his butt and just like flies off. Yeah.

00:41:44.219 --> 00:41:47.340
It's an allegory. Just floats away. Allegory

00:41:47.340 --> 00:41:49.440
for you got to pull yourself up by your butt

00:41:49.440 --> 00:41:56.500
and really attack the day. The butt is the new

00:41:56.500 --> 00:42:03.860
bootstraps. That ties back into the Bobby Fisher

00:42:03.860 --> 00:42:09.179
story. No, you could do a live action Horton

00:42:09.179 --> 00:42:12.679
Hears a Who now. I sincerely hope they don't

00:42:12.679 --> 00:42:15.019
do a live action Horton Hears a Who. You couldn't

00:42:15.019 --> 00:42:19.519
when they did the ban from the 2003 Cat in the

00:42:19.519 --> 00:42:23.659
Hat film. But did you know that I was so excited

00:42:23.659 --> 00:42:26.699
for that movie to come out that I saved up my

00:42:26.699 --> 00:42:31.960
allowance to pay $30 in 2003 money? To go pick

00:42:31.960 --> 00:42:35.320
up a copy of Cat in the Hat on DVD day one from

00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:39.320
Blockbuster. Yeah, okay. Everything in that statement

00:42:39.320 --> 00:42:43.300
is so dated. Mm -hmm. But yeah, and it was full

00:42:43.300 --> 00:42:47.760
screen. Like a chump. Ew. Yeah. Gross. I did

00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:52.179
the same thing with The Dark Knight. So I saw

00:42:52.179 --> 00:42:55.139
The Dark Knight probably four times in theaters.

00:42:55.519 --> 00:42:58.440
Damn, all right. And then I pre -ordered it from

00:42:58.440 --> 00:43:01.539
Best Buy, picked it up at midnight. On a school

00:43:01.539 --> 00:43:05.980
night. Ooh. Because movies, I think DVDs drop

00:43:05.980 --> 00:43:10.280
on Tuesdays. So it was Monday night at midnight.

00:43:10.360 --> 00:43:14.460
I picked it up. I watched it three times, went

00:43:14.460 --> 00:43:18.059
straight to school. Oh, okay. That was a miserable

00:43:18.059 --> 00:43:24.019
day, but worth it. The only movie I think I've

00:43:24.019 --> 00:43:26.079
seen that many times in theaters was The Hunger

00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:29.000
Games, the original. Yeah. Because I watched

00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:31.309
it with... When it first came out, because I

00:43:31.309 --> 00:43:34.489
already just loved the books, I watched it with

00:43:34.489 --> 00:43:36.510
mom, I watched it with dad, I watched it with...

00:43:36.510 --> 00:43:41.730
Wiffleball bat? Two... In a boat with a goat,

00:43:41.829 --> 00:43:44.849
yeah. And like two separate sets of friends.

00:43:45.750 --> 00:43:48.250
So I saw that movie four separate times in theaters.

00:43:49.210 --> 00:43:55.230
No, I saw Inception three times in theaters.

00:43:55.989 --> 00:43:59.679
Okay. two during its first run and then me and

00:43:59.679 --> 00:44:02.780
you went to go see it in IMAX one time probably

00:44:02.780 --> 00:44:05.280
like I don't know five years after it released

00:44:05.280 --> 00:44:07.980
I don't know like I feel like that's a lot of

00:44:07.980 --> 00:44:10.239
the reason that so many of these movies are early

00:44:10.239 --> 00:44:12.480
2000s is because we stopped doing movies that

00:44:12.480 --> 00:44:15.880
were like rewatchable in theaters yeah we've

00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:19.400
just lost our artistic integrity I think yeah

00:44:19.400 --> 00:44:22.079
there hasn't been a movie because when you go

00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:24.320
to a movie it's one it's got to be a movie that's

00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:28.719
worth seeing like as an experience And two, you

00:44:28.719 --> 00:44:33.360
have to have the crowds like you want to experience

00:44:33.360 --> 00:44:37.800
it with other people. And three, it was reasonably

00:44:37.800 --> 00:44:42.400
priced. Yeah. So I think the last time that I

00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:46.480
saw a movie that hit all three of those marks

00:44:46.480 --> 00:44:49.980
was probably like in game part two. That's what

00:44:49.980 --> 00:44:52.079
I was going to say is that I think we stopped

00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:54.940
having like things that were worth the midnight

00:44:54.940 --> 00:44:57.440
release. Like events. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I used

00:44:57.440 --> 00:45:01.099
to go to all of the Avengers movies. The Avengers,

00:45:01.340 --> 00:45:04.099
the Captain America, unfortunately, Man of Steel.

00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:06.820
At one point, I racked up four separate copies

00:45:06.820 --> 00:45:09.099
of that movie. Like, they just kept getting gifted

00:45:09.099 --> 00:45:10.900
to me, and I feel like I have done something

00:45:10.900 --> 00:45:13.960
wrong, but that was the vibe I was putting out.

00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:16.039
Any of them Steelbook? Two of them were, yeah.

00:45:16.360 --> 00:45:18.159
One of them was Superman -shaped. That's how

00:45:18.159 --> 00:45:19.760
you know you're a real collector, is when you

00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.449
got the Steelbook. I also miss Steelbooks. I

00:45:22.449 --> 00:45:23.730
don't know if they still make them. I haven't

00:45:23.730 --> 00:45:26.349
bought a DVD in forever. I think they do. I used

00:45:26.349 --> 00:45:29.130
to get mine at Target. Yeah. The last one I bought,

00:45:29.190 --> 00:45:31.050
I think, was Parasite. That would have been,

00:45:31.050 --> 00:45:36.010
like, 2018, maybe. Yeah. No, I hate the shift

00:45:36.010 --> 00:45:39.110
away from physical media, especially when it

00:45:39.110 --> 00:45:41.510
comes to movies. I hate subscription services

00:45:41.510 --> 00:45:45.090
so much. Yeah. And then, like, you see something,

00:45:45.190 --> 00:45:46.909
and you're like, well, I'm not really in the

00:45:46.909 --> 00:45:49.250
mood for that right now, but I will be later.

00:45:49.880 --> 00:45:51.219
And then you go back to look for it and then

00:45:51.219 --> 00:45:53.980
it's gone. That doesn't happen with a Blu -ray

00:45:53.980 --> 00:45:57.699
or a DVD. And then even the same things if you,

00:45:57.760 --> 00:45:59.900
like you can say, well, I have a copy of it because

00:45:59.900 --> 00:46:04.239
I have the digital. Yeah. But then whatever service

00:46:04.239 --> 00:46:06.480
loses its rights to that digital and then it's

00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:09.039
gone and you already paid for it. Yeah. Look

00:46:09.039 --> 00:46:11.619
at Dogma. The only way to watch that forever

00:46:11.619 --> 00:46:15.039
for a really long time was to watch it on YouTube.

00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:21.260
Bootleg, yeah. Where it was. In 144p. Yeah. It

00:46:21.260 --> 00:46:23.739
was not of high quality and I'm so excited to

00:46:23.739 --> 00:46:25.320
see that in theaters once it comes back. I am

00:46:25.320 --> 00:46:29.039
too. It's my favorite of the Kevin Smith -iverse.

00:46:29.480 --> 00:46:32.460
Yeah. More than Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?

00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:35.900
For sure. You know the dude from Clerks is on

00:46:35.900 --> 00:46:39.420
the floor right now? The guy with the circle

00:46:39.420 --> 00:46:45.440
goatee? Yeah. Oh. Okay. Yeah. He's actually for

00:46:45.440 --> 00:46:49.539
like the first half of the season. He had the

00:46:49.539 --> 00:46:53.760
most spaces, so he was in the top spot. I feel

00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:55.500
like I would do really good on that show. I do

00:46:55.500 --> 00:46:58.639
too. It feels so easy. Do you remember that Shane

00:46:58.639 --> 00:47:00.940
Gillis sketch about where he doesn't want to

00:47:00.940 --> 00:47:05.280
misname the black people? Yes. Yeah. That has

00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:08.719
happened, except it's like liberal white women.

00:47:08.920 --> 00:47:11.139
Oh, I've seen those clips. They're so funny.

00:47:11.239 --> 00:47:13.579
Oh, I know her name. I know it. I know it. It's

00:47:13.579 --> 00:47:16.239
like right there. And then they skip and then

00:47:16.239 --> 00:47:18.760
they get in like, oh, yeah, they do that all

00:47:18.760 --> 00:47:21.579
the time, which gets on my nerves. Like when

00:47:21.579 --> 00:47:23.099
they see it, they're like, oh, yeah, I knew that.

00:47:23.159 --> 00:47:25.260
No, you didn't. Yeah. No, you didn't. You're

00:47:25.260 --> 00:47:28.480
just trying to save face. You failed. You racist.

00:47:28.820 --> 00:47:32.639
You racist. I would so go see Cat in the Hat

00:47:32.639 --> 00:47:34.360
if it went back in theaters, though. There's

00:47:34.360 --> 00:47:37.940
no possible reason that it would. They're doing...

00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:42.119
Unless Mike Myers dies. How dare you say those

00:47:42.119 --> 00:47:43.880
things out loud? I'm sorry, but that would be

00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:45.380
a reason for them to put Cat in the Hat back

00:47:45.380 --> 00:47:51.699
in theaters. Man. It's got enough of the internet

00:47:51.699 --> 00:47:53.820
hype behind it that it could be re -released.

00:47:55.199 --> 00:47:57.960
Actually, I'm curious if Cat in the Hat is streamable,

00:47:58.039 --> 00:47:59.980
because if it is, I'm re -watching it soon. I'm

00:47:59.980 --> 00:48:03.760
sure it is somewhere. It's such a good movie.

00:48:03.800 --> 00:48:07.579
If not, I got the full screen DVD if you want

00:48:07.579 --> 00:48:14.039
it. I feel like, oh, it's on Peacock. Cool. That

00:48:14.039 --> 00:48:21.360
makes sense. Fire. You're not just wrong. You're

00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:27.679
stupid. So many moments. It's such a good movie.

00:48:30.460 --> 00:48:32.119
I'll gotcha. And I'll make it look like a bloody

00:48:32.119 --> 00:48:34.559
accident. That was the one I was trying to think

00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:42.780
of. The Cupcakeinator. But as far as Dr. Seuss,

00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:46.320
I think, I don't know. There's all these movies

00:48:46.320 --> 00:48:50.460
that try to make it, try to toe the line between

00:48:50.460 --> 00:48:55.380
kids can appreciate it, but all adults aren't

00:48:55.380 --> 00:48:57.579
bored out of their minds the whole time, so there's

00:48:57.579 --> 00:49:01.900
stuff for them too. I think that based on Dr.

00:49:02.159 --> 00:49:05.639
Seuss' origins, maybe back off a little on all

00:49:05.639 --> 00:49:09.719
of the, this is supposed to be for children.

00:49:10.239 --> 00:49:13.940
stuff sure and uh you know just chill out yeah

00:49:13.940 --> 00:49:17.239
i think i think we stopped in a good place with

00:49:17.239 --> 00:49:19.519
the dr seuss movies though because i don't think

00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:21.340
there's any topping jim carrey is the grinch

00:49:21.340 --> 00:49:23.599
or mike myers is the cat in the hat probably

00:49:23.599 --> 00:49:28.320
not now i think the danny devito thing was decent

00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:31.340
i didn't really care for the lorax yeah it's

00:49:31.340 --> 00:49:35.579
real preachy it felt yeah a little too self -righteous

00:49:35.579 --> 00:49:38.599
i think Oh, no. Something with Taylor Swift in

00:49:38.599 --> 00:49:42.300
it is self -righteous? No way. Whoa there. She's

00:49:42.300 --> 00:49:44.860
not here. I can say whatever I want. Uh -huh.

00:49:46.380 --> 00:49:48.860
She'll hear you. I thought Horton Hears a Who

00:49:48.860 --> 00:49:51.820
was pretty good. Yeah. But, I mean, Jim Carrey

00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:54.880
and Steve Carell. Can't go wrong. Yep. In the

00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:58.179
same, uh, the Bruce Almighty vein. Yeah. Bruce,

00:49:58.219 --> 00:50:02.119
uh, Bruce Almighty is where Steve Carell found

00:50:02.119 --> 00:50:05.159
his street. Was that before a four -year -old

00:50:05.159 --> 00:50:07.539
virgin? No, 40 -Year -Old Virgin was his first

00:50:07.539 --> 00:50:10.460
thing. Oh, okay. Which is crazy to come out of

00:50:10.460 --> 00:50:13.420
the gate with a movie like that. Yeah. You want

00:50:13.420 --> 00:50:15.019
to talk about movies that are so bad, they're

00:50:15.019 --> 00:50:19.440
bad? Heaven Almighty. Oh, sequel. Sequel, yep.

00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:23.739
That should have never happened. I saw that movie

00:50:23.739 --> 00:50:28.800
in a theater that I used to go to all throughout

00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:32.800
high school. And it was before it was bought

00:50:32.800 --> 00:50:37.440
out by AMC and refurbished. it cut out halfway

00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:40.119
through. Yeah. And then they were like, well,

00:50:40.260 --> 00:50:43.840
you can hang around or we'll give you a refund.

00:50:44.159 --> 00:50:47.719
Mm -hmm. I think I stuck it out. And you regretted

00:50:47.719 --> 00:50:52.219
it? I did. Yeah, it wasn't worth it. That movie,

00:50:52.420 --> 00:50:55.960
I always mix up like plot -wise with Furry Vengeance.

00:50:56.500 --> 00:51:01.820
Mm. The... Brendan Fraser. Brendan Fraser movie,

00:51:01.900 --> 00:51:05.840
yeah. Yeah. Not Fraser. Though if you ask him,

00:51:07.019 --> 00:51:10.019
he won't correct you because he's just that stained

00:51:10.019 --> 00:51:13.639
up of a guy. Yeah. Is that a good thing if you

00:51:13.639 --> 00:51:15.599
don't correct people? I don't know. I've always

00:51:15.599 --> 00:51:17.880
been on the fence about that because I have people

00:51:17.880 --> 00:51:19.500
mispronounce my name all the time. And at some

00:51:19.500 --> 00:51:21.800
point, it feels both rude that I'm correcting

00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:24.179
you and rude that you don't just learn my name.

00:51:24.760 --> 00:51:28.119
Actually, it's pronounced. It's only three syllables.

00:51:29.219 --> 00:51:31.880
Yeah. I can't imagine it's that tough. You should

00:51:31.880 --> 00:51:35.349
have added hyphens in your name. Like a LaDasha.

00:51:36.289 --> 00:51:40.130
Just La hyphen A. But there's no way that you

00:51:40.130 --> 00:51:43.650
could put dashes in my name that it would be

00:51:43.650 --> 00:51:47.110
pronounced properly with the way that it's spelled

00:51:47.110 --> 00:51:51.849
right now. Between the... Well, I guess between

00:51:51.849 --> 00:51:54.130
the A and the N and then the Y and the A. Y and

00:51:54.130 --> 00:51:58.429
the A, yeah. Huh. Okay, well, I'm still not doing

00:51:58.429 --> 00:52:01.610
that. I'm just saying, if you needed a rebrand...

00:52:01.610 --> 00:52:09.719
I will keep that in mind. Solid. I will keep

00:52:09.719 --> 00:52:11.940
that in mind. Maybe that'll be my artist name.

00:52:12.079 --> 00:52:15.699
Yeah. Whenever I start rapping. There you go.

00:52:16.099 --> 00:52:21.880
All right. So the last big point that I had was

00:52:21.880 --> 00:52:24.179
the most recent one because there's a pretty

00:52:24.179 --> 00:52:26.300
decent stretch. I think it's like 20 years between

00:52:26.300 --> 00:52:28.960
the cat and the hat in this one. And that is

00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:34.440
Madam Web. I think. First off, movie was awful.

00:52:35.179 --> 00:52:39.380
I have never seen overdubbing so bad in a movie.

00:52:40.340 --> 00:52:45.460
But I think, what's her face? Dakota Johnson.

00:52:45.539 --> 00:52:47.920
Dakota Johnson. I don't like her. Yeah. She's

00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:51.460
a terrible actress. Sure. Nepo baby. Yeah. Which,

00:52:51.539 --> 00:52:54.880
that's fine. Like, she knows it. We knows it.

00:52:55.300 --> 00:52:58.679
Whatever. But I think her coming out and mean

00:52:58.679 --> 00:53:01.469
-girling the whole movie. And just like, yeah,

00:53:01.570 --> 00:53:04.650
this movie is trash. Yeah. It was a paycheck.

00:53:04.710 --> 00:53:07.130
And then, well, can you name all the Spider -Man

00:53:07.130 --> 00:53:10.369
movies? And then she says like Spider -Man and

00:53:10.369 --> 00:53:13.869
the Goblet of Fire or something like that. Anyways,

00:53:13.989 --> 00:53:19.010
I think that did help its reputation with turning

00:53:19.010 --> 00:53:23.130
it into more of a comedy than this serious. The

00:53:23.130 --> 00:53:26.269
joke, yeah. Yeah. So I was writing out notes

00:53:26.269 --> 00:53:29.429
for like the... all of the thoughts that i had

00:53:29.429 --> 00:53:31.690
about madame webb and i i didn't really know

00:53:31.690 --> 00:53:33.150
how to organize them because there's just so

00:53:33.150 --> 00:53:35.829
many things that are wrong with this movie the

00:53:35.829 --> 00:53:38.230
the first point that i had was the villain because

00:53:38.230 --> 00:53:41.429
the villain is just ridiculous there's no there's

00:53:41.429 --> 00:53:43.750
no real reason that he's the villain except for

00:53:43.750 --> 00:53:47.110
the fact that he's had like visions that dakota

00:53:47.110 --> 00:53:48.849
johnson sydney sweeney and whoever the other

00:53:48.849 --> 00:53:52.369
two are are how so you know the white girl's

00:53:52.369 --> 00:53:57.380
names interesting i What are the other two's

00:53:57.380 --> 00:54:00.659
names? What? The other two people that are the

00:54:00.659 --> 00:54:03.420
main ones in the movie. Oh, so you're asking

00:54:03.420 --> 00:54:06.340
me to come in and clean up your racist mess?

00:54:07.039 --> 00:54:10.739
This is not a racist thing. The two big names

00:54:10.739 --> 00:54:12.539
that were in this movie. I don't know who the

00:54:12.539 --> 00:54:16.159
villain was either. The two big names that were

00:54:16.159 --> 00:54:18.019
promoting this movie were Sidney Sweeney and

00:54:18.019 --> 00:54:20.719
Dakota Johnson. Yeah, and I just think it's interesting

00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:24.360
that you don't know Celeste O 'Connor's name.

00:54:24.889 --> 00:54:27.550
Tell me, first of all, you can't use that in

00:54:27.550 --> 00:54:32.190
this context. Isabella Merced and Celeste O 'Connor,

00:54:32.309 --> 00:54:35.989
also very prominent. Tell me one other thing

00:54:35.989 --> 00:54:37.650
either of them have been in. Very unbelievable.

00:54:37.650 --> 00:54:42.349
Without IMDB -ing it. Google's not IMDB. Without

00:54:42.349 --> 00:54:47.449
Googling it. Oh, I'm sorry that these persons

00:54:47.449 --> 00:54:50.329
of color don't have enough credits to their name.

00:54:50.929 --> 00:54:55.239
You're impossible. See how these arguments work?

00:54:57.380 --> 00:55:03.179
Anyway, the villain is just so poorly dubbed.

00:55:03.340 --> 00:55:05.719
I don't know why they didn't have people in,

00:55:05.739 --> 00:55:08.940
like, better qualified people doing the ADR.

00:55:08.980 --> 00:55:11.840
It looks like a kung fu movie from the 80s. It's

00:55:11.840 --> 00:55:16.039
terrible, yeah. They had a crazy budget for really

00:55:16.039 --> 00:55:18.820
shitty effects. Yeah. Because a lot of the, like,

00:55:18.820 --> 00:55:20.679
flashbacks and flash -forwards and stuff are

00:55:20.679 --> 00:55:28.289
just dumb. Mm -hmm. They're Los Arañas, because

00:55:28.289 --> 00:55:30.849
that is the way it is pronounced the entire movie.

00:55:32.210 --> 00:55:36.429
Los Arañas are just like Peter Parker's first

00:55:36.429 --> 00:55:38.989
costume, but they're just like wrapped up in

00:55:38.989 --> 00:55:43.630
red rope. Yeah. Which is a choice they made.

00:55:43.750 --> 00:55:47.570
It was definitely a choice. They randomly shoehorned

00:55:47.570 --> 00:55:51.269
in Uncle Ben's death. Had no business being in

00:55:51.269 --> 00:55:55.139
the movie. And it is Ben Wyatt. Yes. R .I .P.

00:55:55.179 --> 00:56:01.159
It is. Mark Scout. Is that Severance? Yes, it

00:56:01.159 --> 00:56:05.159
is Severance. Mark S. I bet he wishes he could

00:56:05.159 --> 00:56:09.780
sever being in this movie. Am I right? I feel

00:56:09.780 --> 00:56:13.400
like it was a fun thing to be a part of. Maybe.

00:56:13.480 --> 00:56:15.519
Not for Dakota Johnson, clearly, because I've

00:56:15.519 --> 00:56:18.179
watched the press tour. You know who hated it?

00:56:19.019 --> 00:56:23.380
Coca -Cola. I bet they did. literally no they

00:56:23.380 --> 00:56:25.539
had to have loved it because pepsi was not well

00:56:25.539 --> 00:56:28.760
represented every scene has a pepsi logo in it

00:56:28.760 --> 00:56:32.219
the big boss battle at the end the dude dies

00:56:32.219 --> 00:56:37.820
because the p and the s fall on him uh he was

00:56:37.820 --> 00:56:43.400
just missing the e and i i think so in dakota's

00:56:43.400 --> 00:56:47.380
john dakota johnson's like perspective she said

00:56:47.380 --> 00:56:49.519
that the reason that the movie was so bad was

00:56:49.519 --> 00:56:52.730
because there was a bunch of rewrites after She

00:56:52.730 --> 00:56:54.769
had read it. So she signed up for basically a

00:56:54.769 --> 00:56:57.929
completely different movie. And I think that

00:56:57.929 --> 00:57:00.610
makes a lot of sense if you watch the movie as

00:57:00.610 --> 00:57:02.670
a whole because none of the choices that they

00:57:02.670 --> 00:57:07.289
make align. Like none of the plot points make

00:57:07.289 --> 00:57:09.010
any sense with any of the other plot points.

00:57:09.210 --> 00:57:14.849
No. Also, maybe don't hire 30 -year -olds to

00:57:14.849 --> 00:57:18.769
be high school seniors. Also, these are girls

00:57:18.769 --> 00:57:20.489
who are in high school. Maybe don't sexualize

00:57:20.489 --> 00:57:26.059
them so much. Yeah. I think... Also, maybe when

00:57:26.059 --> 00:57:28.619
you're sexualizing these high schoolers, don't

00:57:28.619 --> 00:57:32.039
put them in Catholic schoolgirl skirts and uniforms.

00:57:32.300 --> 00:57:35.019
Yeah, the whole thing was deeply weird. And I

00:57:35.019 --> 00:57:38.159
think that Dakota Johnson didn't really fit in

00:57:38.159 --> 00:57:41.219
the role, but I also couldn't see anyone doing

00:57:41.219 --> 00:57:43.420
that successfully and making it a watchable movie.

00:57:43.719 --> 00:57:46.860
No. It's just so poorly written that I don't

00:57:46.860 --> 00:57:50.239
think there was really any winning. I think that...

00:57:50.599 --> 00:57:54.559
So, like, Dakota Johnson is not a top -tier actress

00:57:54.559 --> 00:57:56.940
or anything, but I liked her in Peanut Butter

00:57:56.940 --> 00:58:02.659
Falcon and Bad Times at the El Royale, which

00:58:02.659 --> 00:58:05.440
was not a great movie, but I liked her in it.

00:58:06.840 --> 00:58:08.980
No, I had high hopes for that one. Chris Hemsworth?

00:58:09.619 --> 00:58:12.239
Unfortunately, Cynthia Erivo. It wasn't unfortunate

00:58:12.239 --> 00:58:15.159
at the time. Oh, I didn't realize that was her.

00:58:15.320 --> 00:58:17.719
Jeff Bridges? He's like a preacher, I think.

00:58:17.739 --> 00:58:20.940
I think so, yeah. Preacher with a past. Yeah,

00:58:20.940 --> 00:58:25.079
it was a bad movie. Also, I was watching the,

00:58:25.179 --> 00:58:27.500
because I haven't seen this movie since it was

00:58:27.500 --> 00:58:29.960
first in theaters, but I was watching the pitch

00:58:29.960 --> 00:58:33.980
meeting video for it. And he kept bringing up

00:58:33.980 --> 00:58:35.480
like the things that just have no explanation.

00:58:35.559 --> 00:58:37.719
And the one that stuck with me was how the hell

00:58:37.719 --> 00:58:40.800
did she get from Peru back to the States? It's

00:58:40.800 --> 00:58:43.000
just like, so at the beginning of this movie,

00:58:43.079 --> 00:58:46.119
her mother is incredibly pregnant and is like

00:58:46.119 --> 00:58:49.880
searching for this spider that would. theoretically

00:58:49.880 --> 00:58:53.780
cure the terminal disease that she has. She finds

00:58:53.780 --> 00:58:57.039
it, is killed for it, has the baby, is killed

00:58:57.039 --> 00:59:00.840
for it. And Dakota Johnson is just an adult in

00:59:00.840 --> 00:59:03.239
New York City. There's no explanation of how

00:59:03.239 --> 00:59:07.679
she got from point A to point B. Los Arañas did

00:59:07.679 --> 00:59:10.019
not get her back to New York City. They did.

00:59:11.860 --> 00:59:17.039
They flew her up to Rio. No, they walked her

00:59:17.039 --> 00:59:20.070
up to Rio. then flew her to New York City, and

00:59:20.070 --> 00:59:22.150
just dropped her off in an orphanage, I guess.

00:59:22.170 --> 00:59:26.130
I don't know. It's ridiculous. The whole thing

00:59:26.130 --> 00:59:32.090
is ridiculous. And isn't she a wanted fugitive

00:59:32.090 --> 00:59:34.230
at one point? For the entire movie, and yet she

00:59:34.230 --> 00:59:37.449
can still travel internationally, yes. Because

00:59:37.449 --> 00:59:41.929
she steals a cab and three children, and they

00:59:41.929 --> 00:59:45.210
still let her in and out of the country. A very

00:59:45.210 --> 00:59:50.239
easily identifiable cab. As well. Yeah. Yeah.

00:59:50.300 --> 00:59:54.539
It's something. It's something. You should check

00:59:54.539 --> 00:59:59.460
it out if you get a chance. One of the most ridiculous

00:59:59.460 --> 01:00:01.840
things, because there's just a whole slew of

01:00:01.840 --> 01:00:03.699
ridiculous things about this movie, is that there

01:00:03.699 --> 01:00:07.900
aren't really superpowers in any of it. No. You

01:00:07.900 --> 01:00:13.500
get one flashback forward, and it's like 20 seconds

01:00:13.500 --> 01:00:18.340
long. So if flash forwards are her only superpower,

01:00:18.659 --> 01:00:22.000
but she's just like flashing forward to the crazy

01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:23.960
things that might happen, that's just anxiety.

01:00:25.219 --> 01:00:28.840
That's not a superpower. She's just thinking

01:00:28.840 --> 01:00:31.440
of the worst case scenario and it happens to

01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:35.059
happen. If your mindset is, you know, I have

01:00:35.059 --> 01:00:37.940
anxiety, I'll make the best of it, then to see

01:00:37.940 --> 01:00:41.659
it as a superpower is, if you think about it,

01:00:41.760 --> 01:00:46.840
it's kind of... It's kind of something. It's

01:00:46.840 --> 01:00:48.619
kind of something, and not something stupid.

01:00:52.380 --> 01:00:57.519
Oh, hot garbage. Hot garbage movie. On the Dakota

01:00:57.519 --> 01:01:00.039
Johnson press tour thing, though, how have there

01:01:00.039 --> 01:01:02.840
been so many weird promo tours? I don't remember

01:01:02.840 --> 01:01:06.739
the last normal one that I saw. Another Simple

01:01:06.739 --> 01:01:09.940
Favor was weird and awkward. Because they hate

01:01:09.940 --> 01:01:11.420
each other. Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick hate

01:01:11.420 --> 01:01:14.630
each other. Why is everyone being so public about

01:01:14.630 --> 01:01:17.289
their feuds with either the movie itself or their

01:01:17.289 --> 01:01:19.230
co -stars? Because Don't Worry Darling was weird

01:01:19.230 --> 01:01:22.510
because Olivia... Nope, not Olivia Rodrigo. Olivia

01:01:22.510 --> 01:01:25.130
Wilde and Florence Pugh hate each other. And

01:01:25.130 --> 01:01:29.090
Harry Styles spit on Chris Pine. I don't know.

01:01:30.369 --> 01:01:33.070
So people are talking about it, I guess. I don't

01:01:33.070 --> 01:01:35.650
know. Wicked was a really weird press tour. It

01:01:35.650 --> 01:01:37.369
was. Not for the same reason as those. No, they

01:01:37.369 --> 01:01:40.469
were just all over each other. And it was uncomfortable

01:01:40.469 --> 01:01:42.809
for everyone involved except for them. Deeply

01:01:42.809 --> 01:01:48.969
bizarre. Also, during a press junket for Don't

01:01:48.969 --> 01:01:52.849
Worry Darling, Olivia Munn was served divorce

01:01:52.849 --> 01:01:56.050
papers. Wild. Wild. Did I say Munn? Mm -hmm.

01:01:56.090 --> 01:02:00.309
Oh, yeah, Wild was served divorce papers. So,

01:02:00.469 --> 01:02:03.309
yeah, I don't know. I think it's just all publicity.

01:02:04.210 --> 01:02:07.309
Yeah. I'll get you talking about stuff you wouldn't

01:02:07.309 --> 01:02:11.079
give to... cares about anyways sure yeah the

01:02:11.079 --> 01:02:15.360
last point that i had for madam webb was how

01:02:15.360 --> 01:02:18.139
absolutely insane it was that she got hit with

01:02:18.139 --> 01:02:21.159
a firework in the face is somehow paralyzed and

01:02:21.159 --> 01:02:23.659
blinded by it and so she turns into professor

01:02:23.659 --> 01:02:26.159
x at the end of the movie it was one of those

01:02:26.159 --> 01:02:30.420
those 180 fireworks goes in your eye turns around

01:02:30.420 --> 01:02:34.719
hit you in the spine it's just it's so strange

01:02:35.289 --> 01:02:37.789
Everything about that movie was as weird as Dakota

01:02:37.789 --> 01:02:40.309
Johnson. Thank God we had that weird scene where

01:02:40.309 --> 01:02:42.570
she was teaching these grown -ass women CPR.

01:02:43.329 --> 01:02:46.789
Otherwise, she wouldn't have made it. How fortunate.

01:02:46.929 --> 01:02:50.230
I got to watch that again. I got to check it

01:02:50.230 --> 01:02:52.530
out. In the pitch meeting, he calls it three

01:02:52.530 --> 01:02:54.369
-shadowing. He was like, don't you mean four

01:02:54.369 --> 01:02:56.590
-shadowing? He was like, no, it's not good enough

01:02:56.590 --> 01:03:00.690
for that. Oh, pitch meeting, Ryan George. Check

01:03:00.690 --> 01:03:04.369
him out. Okay, so that was all I had, but a couple

01:03:04.369 --> 01:03:08.349
of honorable mentions were Morbius, Wonder Woman

01:03:08.349 --> 01:03:13.510
1984, anything with Nick Cage, and all of the

01:03:13.510 --> 01:03:17.730
Fast and Furious movies post -Paul Walker. I

01:03:17.730 --> 01:03:23.429
miss when they were just like robbing trucks

01:03:23.429 --> 01:03:26.929
for TVs with built -in... TV -VCR combos. Yeah.

01:03:28.639 --> 01:03:31.460
It was a simpler time. It was. It was a better

01:03:31.460 --> 01:03:38.920
time. It was. I don't think. I could ask a random

01:03:38.920 --> 01:03:41.400
person off the street, hey, do you remember what

01:03:41.400 --> 01:03:44.900
the plot of Fast 8 was? No one's going to be

01:03:44.900 --> 01:03:48.300
able to tell me. But. They were on ice in that

01:03:48.300 --> 01:03:52.059
one, I believe. Oh, with the submarine that pops

01:03:52.059 --> 01:03:55.019
up through the. Sure. I know there was ice. And

01:03:55.019 --> 01:03:56.739
I think there was Charlize Theron. And where.

01:03:57.530 --> 01:04:03.929
The rock punches a missile. He what? There's

01:04:03.929 --> 01:04:08.750
a missile skidding across this frozen lake coming

01:04:08.750 --> 01:04:12.030
right at them. He leans out the side of this

01:04:12.030 --> 01:04:18.789
vehicle and just punches it away. Oh, my God.

01:04:18.829 --> 01:04:26.079
That's awesome. He punches a missile. Oh. So,

01:04:26.079 --> 01:04:28.159
I mean, at least with those movies, they know

01:04:28.159 --> 01:04:29.880
what they're about. They know we're not watching

01:04:29.880 --> 01:04:32.760
it for the missile or for the plot line. We're

01:04:32.760 --> 01:04:35.139
watching it for the missile punching. Sure. Yeah,

01:04:35.199 --> 01:04:39.920
absolutely. Now we are. They went to space in

01:04:39.920 --> 01:04:45.360
like a Subaru. To be fair, if we had lost Tyrese

01:04:45.360 --> 01:04:49.320
up there. I definitely think that movies so bad

01:04:49.320 --> 01:04:52.260
they're good are necessary. So that when good

01:04:52.260 --> 01:04:53.960
movies come out, there's something to compare

01:04:53.960 --> 01:04:56.400
them to. Sure. Because you can't just compare

01:04:56.400 --> 01:05:01.500
an amazing movie to a bad movie. You have to

01:05:01.500 --> 01:05:04.079
have that middle ground. So movies so bad they're

01:05:04.079 --> 01:05:08.059
good. Sure. Really let the great ones shine.

01:05:09.139 --> 01:05:13.699
Yeah. I mean, I would, aside from Battlefield

01:05:13.699 --> 01:05:17.219
Earth, I would rewatch all of these movies. I

01:05:17.219 --> 01:05:18.860
won't make it past 20 minutes of Battlefield

01:05:18.860 --> 01:05:21.719
Earth. Partly because I can't stand John Travolta.

01:05:21.820 --> 01:05:23.659
No. Present day John Travolta. I'll check it

01:05:23.659 --> 01:05:26.650
out. I'll get back to you all about it. I'll

01:05:26.650 --> 01:05:28.690
take one for the team. When is the Dianetics

01:05:28.690 --> 01:05:31.090
movie coming out? I had no clue that that was

01:05:31.090 --> 01:05:33.550
a thing. Oh, I don't think it is, but I'm asking

01:05:33.550 --> 01:05:36.349
when the Dianetics movie is coming out. Oh, do

01:05:36.349 --> 01:05:39.010
I have to be like a tier something in Scientology

01:05:39.010 --> 01:05:42.489
to be able to watch it? Probably. I think Tom

01:05:42.489 --> 01:05:45.269
Cruise is in it with his lifts. Maybe. He'd be

01:05:45.269 --> 01:05:47.170
running through it, running from his gay thoughts.

01:05:47.989 --> 01:05:51.869
All right. Since we've appeared to have made

01:05:51.869 --> 01:05:57.510
it to... The end of this episode. The part you've

01:05:57.510 --> 01:06:01.050
all been on pins and needles for. Let's see.

01:06:02.250 --> 01:06:06.650
Let's get a baseline. I have a biscuit. Stop

01:06:06.650 --> 01:06:12.309
it. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Talk to me like that.

01:06:12.469 --> 01:06:15.190
You should tell me everything. How dare you talk

01:06:15.190 --> 01:06:17.329
to me like that. You should tell me everything.

01:06:18.389 --> 01:06:22.239
I can't talk right now. Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa?

01:06:22.239 --> 01:06:25.940
Please talk to me. Please. For those who don't

01:06:25.940 --> 01:06:31.880
know, this is the scene from The Room. Is this

01:06:31.880 --> 01:06:36.179
the one that you said sounds like King Julian?

01:06:37.079 --> 01:07:01.889
You're tearing me apart, Lisa. I had it. I had

01:07:01.889 --> 01:07:07.869
it. You're tearing me apart, Lisa. That was a

01:07:07.869 --> 01:07:10.289
little more Schwarzenegger than thinking Julian

01:07:10.289 --> 01:07:14.710
was. You're tearing me apart, Lisa. You're tearing

01:07:14.710 --> 01:07:21.429
me apart, Lisa. What else I got? That's a solid

01:07:21.429 --> 01:07:26.090
Rainier Wolf castle. You're tearing me apart,

01:07:26.409 --> 01:07:31.269
Lisa. Hold on. Who was that one? You are tearing

01:07:31.269 --> 01:07:35.909
me apart, Lisa. You are tearing me apart, Lisa.

01:07:37.110 --> 01:07:41.670
No, that was real European. I don't know. Go

01:07:41.670 --> 01:07:43.210
back and what episode was that? Do you remember?

01:07:43.449 --> 01:07:46.030
I don't know. Does that sound like King Julian?

01:07:46.610 --> 01:07:49.769
That one didn't sound like King Julian. The last

01:07:49.769 --> 01:07:53.210
one did sound like King Julian. Okay, well. I'll

01:07:53.210 --> 01:07:55.710
find it. Go back and find it. We'll put a poll.

01:07:57.769 --> 01:08:02.949
Yeah, you can finally prove my rude co -host

01:08:02.949 --> 01:08:06.690
wrong. And on that note, do you have any final

01:08:06.690 --> 01:08:11.389
thoughts? Other than we need these movies around

01:08:11.389 --> 01:08:17.689
to make the great movies shine even more, don't

01:08:17.689 --> 01:08:21.449
be afraid to make a bad movie. But if you do

01:08:21.449 --> 01:08:25.069
make a bad movie, just talk nonstop crap about

01:08:25.069 --> 01:08:27.149
it. Make it the butt of the joke. And then people

01:08:27.149 --> 01:08:30.649
might appreciate your movie afterwards. That's

01:08:30.649 --> 01:08:32.569
fair. Maybe you'll have a renaissance like The

01:08:32.569 --> 01:08:38.010
Room. Maybe. What about you? I was trying to

01:08:38.010 --> 01:08:40.829
think of a good movie quote. I don't have one.

01:08:41.430 --> 01:08:44.470
I don't have any final thoughts. You can't think

01:08:44.470 --> 01:08:48.149
of a single movie quote. From one of the movies

01:08:48.149 --> 01:08:51.310
that we were just talking about. Not a single

01:08:51.310 --> 01:08:57.289
cat in the hat quote. No. Not a single... pistachio

01:08:57.289 --> 01:09:00.930
disguise -y quote. No, my mind went completely

01:09:00.930 --> 01:09:04.470
blank. Like when he's talking about wanting a

01:09:04.470 --> 01:09:10.869
woman with a big butt. Uh, no, I don't remember

01:09:10.869 --> 01:09:13.310
the actual quote for that. I don't want to misquote

01:09:13.310 --> 01:09:14.909
it because, you know, I'm apparently already

01:09:14.909 --> 01:09:20.350
racist. Here, I'll find you one. Am I not turtley

01:09:20.350 --> 01:09:26.280
enough for the turtle club? There you go. Your

01:09:26.280 --> 01:09:29.579
words of wisdom could be, hey, no matter what

01:09:29.579 --> 01:09:32.699
they say, you're always turtley enough for the

01:09:32.699 --> 01:09:36.260
turtle club. Okay, I'm stealing that one. That's

01:09:36.260 --> 01:09:40.039
fine. No matter what they say, you're always

01:09:40.039 --> 01:09:44.020
turtley enough for the turtle club. And with

01:09:44.020 --> 01:09:46.880
that, we're out. All right, we'll see you next

01:09:46.880 --> 01:09:47.079
time.