So I told you we went to Colorado, and this was
only my second time in Colorado. First time was
during the pandy. Yeah, so I didn't get to do
much. But this was the first time I got to, like,
roam around and saw Floridians. Coloradans. Coloradans.
I think they're Coloradans. One thing I noticed
was I think that everyone in Colorado went to
sleep one night and then grew three inches, but
then never changed their wardrobe. Everybody
was flooding. Either that or they have some weird
kink about ankles. Oh, God. Because it was either
the pants were intentionally short or if they
weren't intentionally short, they were rolled
up. Every single person in Colorado. Uh -huh.
Yeah. You should move to Colorado. My ankles
are hidden, though. Well. I'm not a Victorian
whore. You wouldn't be appreciated in Colorado.
I think that's actually just making a comeback
because the Austin people are the same way. Oh,
so it's just pretentious people. Probably, yeah.
It's not just Colorado -ians. The Austinites
have caught it, too. They're big ankle people.
Also, Colorado has to be the single biggest consumer
of Subarus. Those lesbian mobiles are everywhere.
We pulled into the Casa Bonita parking lot, and
all you had to do was just do a little circle.
You could count at least 20 of them. All the
Subarus? Literally everywhere. And they're all
driven by the exact person you would think would
be driving a Subaru. So when we were talking
about moving to Colorado, the conversation was
almost explicitly that as soon as I moved, got
all my stuff there, I was going to trade cars.
my Camry for a Subaru because they could get
one that was able to fit a kayak and that would
be an all roads kind of car because my car very
much is not. I was going to be a Subaru person.
Yeah. It's tragic. It's not too late. One of
these days I'll get there. I think if you are
a thing, Nate would probably end up pretty disappointed
in your life choices after that. Yeah. A lot
more flannel in your future. I'll shave one of
the halves of my head, you know, let the people
know. Oh, but it was a trip. You ready for this
one? Yeah. Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
Welcome to the show, people. Welcome to the show.
Eat my shorts. So here is to conversation. Tranquility
base here. The Eagle has landed. So what do weddings,
funerals, and a nice bris have in common? Okay,
so before I answer this or make guesses, what
is a bris? You don't know what a bris is either?
I've heard the term, but yeah, no, I have no
idea. I came up with this list when I was riding
with Mom, and she didn't know either. Am I the
only one in this house that knows about Jewish
culture? What is a bris? A bris is a Jewish ceremony
where a male child, is circumcised. Oh, okay.
So you got a wedding, a funeral, a bris. How
do they all connect? What's the through line?
I mean, they're all family events. Yeah. I mean,
I'm not going to pass any judgment on the bris,
but I would think the less people there, the
better. It is a ceremony. It is. And it's a big
thing that people gather for. It's still a family
event then? It is. I didn't say it wasn't. I
just said, I think that it is different. Okay.
So the through line is not that it's a family
event then? No. You threw me off with Briss.
I had to learn what it was on the fly, and now
I have to figure out how it relates to a wedding
and a funeral. Yeah. They are gatherings. I'll
give you that much. Family gatherings where you
lose or gain something pretty important. That
could work, but it doesn't fit with today's topic.
All three of these events are places where there
is a... High implication, expectation for decorum.
You're supposed to act right. You can't get unruly
at the bris? You could. You could if you tapped
into the Manischewitz, I guess. A little early.
The what? Oh, my God. The Manischewitz? I didn't
know what a bris was. What makes you think I
would know what a Manischewitz is? It's Jewish
wine. Oh, just say Jewish wine. That sounds racist.
All right. Okay. You heard it here first. I am
more culturally in tune than my co -host. But,
and this was a topic I came up with, what, maybe
three weeks ago? Okay. When I was flying to Miami.
Yeah, Miami. Plane etiquette. A plane. The airport
in general. Just places that you are expected
to act a certain kind of way. Okay. And not try
to be the main character of the story that you're
living. That's a tough one. I hate main character
energy. I do too. I don't know if that means
that I am by nature an NPC because I hate main
character energy. I'm not ready to have an existential
crisis today. I mean, is there something wrong
with just living your life without having to
thrust yourself on other people at every turn?
I don't think so. I mean, if you want to exist
in the grander scheme of society, you have to
have a tripod on you at all times. Yeah. If we
want to be big podcasters, we're going to have
to be YouTube Shorts people, Amazon Reels people,
or Instagram Reels people. I think it means that
we will have to cave to the algorithm and start
recording ourselves in public like we are the
main characters. You either die a hero or live
long enough to see yourself become the villain.
And villainy is where the money's at? Mm -hmm.
Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. I didn't think of it that
way. Have you seen how many evil people have
layers? Layers are expensive. Like onions? I
was thinking more parfaits, but sure. Oh, like
Dr. Evil's layer. Mm -hmm. And it's just a group
of onions. What's a group of onions called? A
bushel? Yeah. A murder of onions? A murder of
onions. Okay, so right now, while we're still
nobodies, I expect myself to just float in and
out, just like I was never there. And I want
other people to do that too, but other people
can't do that. Sure. One thing I noticed was
I was waiting at the gate for my plane, and...
There was a gentleman there who was in a Canadian
tuxedo, but, and for those that don't know, a
Canadian tuxedo is denim on denim on denim. That's
what I thought. Okay. I don't know what a bris
is, but I do know a Canadian tuxedo. There was
his jean jacket, which had a Tommy Hilfiger logo
going across the entire front and entire back.
Okay. A shirt had little... Little Tommy Hilfiger
logo on the pocket. Okay. His jeans had rings
with the Tommy Hilfiger logo around each knee.
Ew, what? His shoes, not denim, loafers. Commit
to the bit, man. You got to have those. Tommy
Hilfiger. Those jutes. Tommy Hilfiger matching
loafers. Yeah. And, like, if he saw this on a
mannequin and he just said, I want that, then
that's one thing. Sure. If you have to be completely
matching head to toe and you think that that's
what everyone else appreciates, then fine. That's
great. But. What if you met Tommy Hilfiger? What
if that was? I have no idea. I'm pretty sure
he is. What if that was Tommy Hilfiger? I would
be a little put off. Yeah. If whenever our merch
store gets up and going and for whatever reason
we have a jacket, shirt, pant, loafer combo.
available for purchase i'm sorry we're so not
selling loafers why not each of our faces could
be on on each of them all right fine and someone
walked up to me and said i love your stuff i
would be put off i would not be a fan of this
person say hey thanks keep listening keep ordering
stuff from the merch store but i'm gonna go stay
in your security now thank you have a great day
okay We're rich at a level that we have security
in the situation? No, I'm just talking about
security for whatever facility I'm in. Oh. Yeah.
In like a padded room kind of way? I would call,
I would find someone with weaponry, whether it's
a handgun or mace. Maybe even just some old lady
with pepper spray on her keychain. I don't know.
Someone that is going to have protection to save
both of us because that person is unwell. Sure.
If they're tracking us down, dressed head to
toe in our stuff, I wouldn't be okay with that.
And I would assume that Tommy Hilfiger wouldn't
either. Sure. Not just that, but I don't think
most people could point him out in a crowd. If
he wasn't here for that, why would he make clothes
with his name so big on it? Riddle me that. That's
a great question. I don't know. I don't know.
Should he be episode 200 after we get Jarrett
Reddick for 100? Absolutely. All right, Tommy,
hold on. Hold on, because it's going to take
us a bit, but we'll get you on. But it's not
just his outfit. His outfit was one thing. I
think that said a lot about him. But then he
had like this military backpack. He puts it on
the ground, and it's completely stuffed. I mean,
it's like a foot and a half off of his back.
And he reaches in one of the front pockets and
just starts pulling out loose candy. What do
you mean loose candy? Just a fistful of Skittles?
Individually wrapped. Like a grandmother. Were
there his originals? Like those little candies
that are wrapped in strawberry paper. I don't
know who sells those. I have never seen them
in a store. I don't know. This man was maybe
like mid -40s. Okay. I don't think that Social
Security had sent him his strawberry candies
yet. But he just starts pulling them out of his
backpack. Okay. And then I didn't see him again
until after the flight. And flying into Miami,
you got to take the freaking monorail everywhere.
So I get in, and guess who stands next to me?
Hilfiger man. Tommy Jr. And the amount of cologne
this man had on his person should not have gotten
through TSA. Okay. Because he 100 % was definitely
flammable. And so this was the third piece to
the puzzle of this man that I saw. And I just
could not wrap my head around what he was trying
to convey to the world. Oh, and then he also
had like a watch with like a two -inch face that
was very fake, but trying not to look fake. A
Folex? Yes. Okay. And this isn't the first time.
This is just the most recent one. I run into
people all the time when I'm trying to get on
a plane or get off a plane. I've just... What
are you doing? Yeah. What do you want the world
to know about you? Because this is a little much.
So based on everything I described to you, what
do you think this man's about? What do I think
this man is about? He is a TikTok influencer.
He posts every single one of his morning routines.
He wakes up at four in the morning to do an ice
bath with something like Evian. Voss. Voss. He's
contributed massively to the landfills. Wow.
Wow, the disrespect you're putting on my man
right now. No, he has to empty the Aquafina into
the Voss, and then he shows the Voss bottle,
and that's what he puts in the ice bath. No,
it's just tap water. I mean, actually, even that's
better than Aquafina. But yeah, he's... This
is a separate rabbit hole, but I've been watching
a lot of those videos of like morning routines
and stuff from people who are just impossible.
It's my favorite thing now. The ones that are
just like parodies and the actual guys who are
just like sprinting on a closed off road next
to a Lamborghini. It's so fun to watch. It's
so stupid. I love the internet sometimes, but
I think that that's what that man is about. Yeah.
That's possible. Honestly, I couldn't tell you.
Definitely on multiple divorces. Sure. Just moved
to America from whatever country. I don't know.
From where? I'm not speculating as to where this
man came from. I don't know enough details, but
I am saying that that gives off a very big just
got to America and this is what America is energy
in the same way that Kamal Nanjiani. His first
day in America was on Thanksgiving Day in New
York. And so he saw the parade. And he was like,
I thought every day was like this. This was just
America. That's the same energy. A man who is
fully decked out in Tommy Hilfiger. Or like when
Apu was trying to get his... Are we allowed to
name drop Apu anymore? He's our people. It's
fine. Whenever... Are you able to drop Apu? Oh,
I didn't even catch that. Whenever he's trying
to Americanize himself and he's got the cowboy
hat and the... Turns out I am American. I just
plum forgot. Oh, dear partner. Okay, I think
you can still name drop off who, but I don't
think you can. He said it. You can use the accent.
I sure can. Wow. Yeah, I'll link one of our aunts
or uncles. Yeah? Faisal. Looks like Groucho Marx.
Sure, yeah. Yeah, name drop the rest of them.
Firoz. Looks like a mean dad. Like, Lee looks
just like our dad, but mean. He also does look
like a mean dad. Also that, yeah. Okay, so this
man's about? Second divorce. You know what? He
just, he's, maybe we should applaud him. Be applauding
him. He doesn't care about what the outside world
has to say about him. Or. There's something in
that. His name is Tommy. And he just likes to
represent his own name like he's a Pokemon. Maybe.
If you spoke to him, the only word he would say,
Tommy Hilfiger. Tommy, Tommy. Oh, hindsight,
I wish I had talked to this man. I wish I had
said something. Missed opportunity. Just so I
could have a clearer picture. But again, he's
not the only one. He's not going to be the, he
wasn't the first, won't be the last. Just, you
see all these pictures of people that are flying
and it's like first class accommodations the
entire way through. When did we lose that? First
class? Just that. That vibe. What do you mean?
Like the people dressing up nicely to be on a
plane. People not treating it like it's a greyhound
in the sky. Whenever Boeing planes started falling
apart, that's when we stopped treating it like
it was a... Okay, but that was relatively recently.
Fine. I will say, though, that like... There's
a meeting in the middle. I don't like the people
who go onto planes in, like, suits. Like, yeah,
maybe you have, like, a business meeting that
you have to get to immediately out of the airport.
Or maybe you didn't want your suit to wrinkle
in your suitcase. Valid reasons. Don't wear a
suit to the airport. No, there's a whole other
subset of people that are on the opposite end
of that spectrum. And just... Have to look like
I'm important businessman the entire time. Yeah.
Like they'll be sitting in their seat and they're
in coach with the rest of us peasants and they'll
pull out their laptop and just open a spreadsheet.
And that's all they do. I think my biggest pet
peeve of people that get on planes now are the
people who look purposefully disheveled. Like.
So this is another side of the Internet I wish
I wasn't on. But there are girls who will get
to the airport in enough time to do like their
entire like shedding routine. So they'll have
like the mouth tape and their hair and like the
rollers and stuff and like the eye mask. It's
just it's ridiculous. And every one of them will
get on the plane and then they'll start like.
Peeling 75 % of their face off. Like, you have
neighbors. What is wrong with you? Have you ever
been seated close to a nail clipper? An airplane
nail clipper? No. What? I haven't been close.
I've passed a few on the way to the lavatories.
They still let nail clippers on airplanes? The
people, not the device. Yeah. Yeah, they do.
That's horrifying. It is. How do you not have
enough forethought to be like, I should clip
my nails before I get on this flight? I mean,
you have to live the busiest of lives for the
only time that you have any downtime whatsoever
is when you're on a plane. Are we talking fingernails
or are we just like dogs out on the plane? I've
seen both. I've seen both. One time it was just
like, I don't know, maybe they just had something
like in their cuticle that they were just trying
to take out. It wasn't anything egregious. Okay.
But the fact that that is what they decided to
do on a plane surrounded by all these other people
said something about them. I feel like that's
a very different situation from like actively
just like clipping their nails. But no, the toenail
one, that one was appalling. If you clip your
toenails on a plane, I hope that the air marshal
puts you on the no -fly list. You don't deserve
to be on planes. I just don't know the thought
process. And maybe it's just because I'm a lot
more courteous around my fellow travelers than
other people. But I just, it is excessive that
someone has so little disregard for... the people
around them. The, so I haven't flown on anywhere
near as many planes as you have, but the most
annoying thing that happens if I'm on like planes
or if I'm in a space where I'm like with other
people in like relatively close quarters, everyone
decides because I'm small that that means that
they can take up 50 % of my space and it makes
me homicidal. Every time I will be sat next to
a stranger on a plane, inevitably an adult man.
And he will just spread into like he'll take
my armrest. He'll spread his legs into my seat
space. And I'm just like, I don't I don't want
to touch you, but go away. Move to you have a
little start ringing the button. Yes, ma 'am.
Did you need us? Yeah. Homeboy over here wanted
a seat and a half, but he only paid for one.
So can we do something about this? Are you a
are you a middle seat? No, I will be a window
all the time. But a lot of times there are seats
that are booked on either side of me, so I don't
have the choice. So I just have to be squished
into my seat. With your Frontier Pass, do you
get to choose the seat? Because you don't get
to... It's not just free reign on Frontier, is
it? I mean, considering the fact that it is Frontier,
maybe. But you do get to pick your seat. As long
as you, so the Frontier Pass works, or how it
works is that you pay a dollar for your flight
plus the like taxes and fees or whatever. So
long as you book the flight within 24 hours of
it actually leaving. So you get a reserved seat,
but you have to get like last minute seats. Okay,
so you. So if I get an aisle, I get an aisle.
If I get middle, I get middle. I'm always aisle.
It's just whatever's available. Yeah. I'm over
the novelty of being able to see out the window.
Much rather if I needed to get up for any reason
to just get up and not have to shimmy my ass
in front of two strangers. That's fair. And one
of the absolute worst evolutions in mankind is
people that are in row 40 standing up as soon
as the plane lands. Yeah. And putting their hips
and their bits in my face. When it is going to
be a solid 15 minutes before there's enough clearance
for anyone in our area to get off the plane.
Sit your ass down. Are those people worse than
clappers? Or is that Venn diagram a circle? I
can deal with the clapping. Because usually when
the plane lands, I still have my headphones on
anyways. So I can't hear it. Is some of it going
to bleed through? Sure. Am I going to? Am I going
to have a lack of understanding of why these
people are excited that the thing that they expected
to happen happened? Maybe a little bit, but...
I'm just trying to boost the pilot's self -esteem,
man. They need all the self -esteem boost they
can use these days. Keep them upright, not upside
down. Anyways, but they clap, and then it's done.
Yeah. You clap and stand up, straight to hell.
Do not, Pascoe. Do not click 200 times. You got
people. You got people in the window seat standing
up and they got a hunch over. And because then
the person, for whatever reason, is dropping
the thing, the overhead bin. And so all of a
sudden, this person that decided to stand up
like a dumbass in the window seat is getting
slapped in the face by the overhead compartment.
And like, just sit down. You're not gaining anything
by standing up. If you need to stand up and stretch
your legs real quick, fine. But then sit back
down. Yeah. Because you're going to do more damage
to your spine and neck by being hunched over
like that for 20 minutes than you would if you
just waited to stretch your legs until you could
actually deboard the plane. They're just really
excited to be in Miami, man. Yeah? Well, okay.
I don't know. I made my way down to South Beach
one day, and it was gloomy and cold as hell.
And the rest of Miami is garbage. Yeah, it's
in Florida. Okay. Don't you disparage Florida
like that. I mean, what are the merits of Florida?
What are the good things about Florida? Alligators.
That's a good thing about Florida? They're cool.
They're modern -day dinosaurs. So are chickens.
They're cool, too, and they taste good. Okay.
All right. It kind of looks like a wiener. Okay.
It's got that going for it, too. And I'm sure
there are other things that plenty of people
could tell us about how great Florida is. To
paraphrase Superbad, they told me I couldn't
go to any of the penis -shaped states. You know
which shapes are penis -shaped? The best ones.
DeSantis in his sexy boots. I'm sorry. He's an
upside to Florida? And his man heels. His man
heels? Yeah, you didn't see that? No. When he
was in the presidential race, he was sitting
on a chair, and he definitely had lips on his
boots. Ooh, the Tom Cruise. All right. But then
there was also a time where he was visiting a
disaster zone, and he was wearing thigh -high
waterproof boots. You see his lips? Yeah. Yeah,
see? This is very funny to me. This man is in
a Louboutin level of high heel. How do you usually
pack for a plane trip? You a light packer, heavy
packer? Super light packer. If I can't fit it
into a backpack, I probably won't bring it. I
think in the times that I've flown, I've checked
a bag once. Checking your bag is a mess. I check
bags everywhere I go because I don't pay for
it. When I do check my bags, I know that it's
probably a 30 % shot I'm not going to get my
bags. It actually did happen to me one time.
I was going to Miami again, and I landed, waited
an hour and a half for my bags. Nothing. So I
went to the desk and talked to them. They made
me fill out a form, and they had to deliver my
bags to me, to my hotel. Okay. And so I... The
next day. So I was there at this hotel with no
luggage, no clothes, no nothing for a full day
until my bags that stands to reason would be
on the same plane that I was on were delivered
to me. That was the most egregious. I mean, there's
been times where you wait like 45 minutes and
then everyone's luggage starts coming out. But,
yeah, if I didn't have to check bags, I would
love to not have to check bags. Oh, also at the,
when you're picking up your luggage, the people
that will lift up every single suitcase like
it's theirs. Yeah. You didn't know that this
green army duffel was not your black, like, hard
case suitcase? What if I did bring it and didn't
remember? Like, what's wrong with you? Stop manhandling
my bags. Person handling. Stop handling my bags.
There we go. So. No matter what seat you're in,
you're always in an armrest dispute? I am always
squished. Every single time that I have a neighbor,
I'm squished. Armrest, foot space, it's ridiculous.
What do you think the armrest solution is? What
do you think the best case scenario for all involved
is? I think everyone gets the armrest to their
right. So the person on the window seat, well,
if you're on the left side of the plane, you
get the one to your right. Okay. So the window
seat gets the one to their right, the middle
seat gets the one to their right, and the aisle
seat gets the one to their right. Everyone gets
an armrest. Counter? Mm -hmm. What if the two
outside people get the outside armrest, and then
the middle person gets both armrests because
they're in the middle, and they don't have an
advantage in their seat? That's fair. That's
how I always take it. I mean, I don't sit in
the middle, but... uh if i were to uh you bet
your ass i'm taking both armrests yeah i so i
uh went on a trip with an ex of mine forever
ago at this point um and i was between him and
his mom and both of them fell asleep and were
snoring on either side of me and i thought you
were in between them small person sits in the
middle oh oh both of them fell asleep and were
snoring rather loudly and were they leaning on
you one of them was The mother? At all times,
no. It switched off. Oh. Well, that was courteous.
I thought so. You always ended up with one free
shoulder. A little bit of drool, no biggie. Yeah,
that was not my favorite way to fly, I will say.
I do have times where people have fallen asleep
on me. What are you going to do? It's a stranger.
I don't want to create a kerfuffle. Luckily,
it's never been people that are offensive to
me, if you know what I mean. I don't know. I'm
going to need you to explain that one. Well,
there was one time there was a mother and her
daughter. Daughter was in the window seat. Mother
was in the middle seat. And, you know, she probably
just had a real rough day. And so I gave her
a shoulder to snooze on. Yeah? Yeah. It didn't
hurt that she was a very attractive woman. But
this was ages ago. Doesn't matter. I can't. Statue
of limitations is up. Sure, yeah. You ever had
babies on your plane? Not like super loud ones.
I've had like occasional like fussy babies, but
not in a way that like disrupts the entire plane.
Yeah. One of Nate's friends, they took their
daughter on a flight with them to Germany and
she was really little. And apparently after they
had already done like the, they had aborted,
they had gotten like the seatbelt sign was on
like they were about to take off. And she...
shit herself like it was all all over the dad
in this situation and so they just had to had
to go to germany and but they had no replacement
well they did but they had just turned on like
they were taking off so he had to just like wait
until they were like fully in the air before
he could do anything about it oh which i think
might be my worst nightmare he didn't ask to
ground the plane no he just asked for 1000 of
those little bitty cocktail napkins Did he get
some extra biscotti cookies? I think everyone
on that flight's appetite was probably ruined
after that. Okay. Baby poop. Like, once it's
on you, it's just on you. Sure, yeah. Like...
This is the perspective of a person without children.
I will... You can't freak out when you get a
little poop on you. Sure, yeah. And if you have
to sit there with it, you have to sit there with
it. I will tell... The initial shock is quick
and... But then after that, you're good to go.
So once they turned off the seatbelt sign, then
he was able to go clean everything up? I think
so, yeah. He didn't just ride it out all the
way to Hamburg? Probably not. Do you want to
know something? You had no idea I was going to
bring this up. You just happened to bring up
Germany. Yeah. What do you got? Hamburg International
Airport. Longest functioning international airport
in the world. Oh. Mm -hmm. That's a fun fact.
What's the first airport in the United States?
Actually, I think it might be the first airport
in general. O 'Hare. No. Can I get a hint as
to what coast? What area of the country? North.
JFK? South of that north. Raleigh? Somewhere
in the Carolinas? North of that south. No, it's
in Maryland. College Park Airport. Okay. One
of the Wright brothers trained two pilots there.
Oh, interesting. Mm -hmm. First commercial flight.
I was going to say, was that a question? Where
do you think that took place? Where it took place?
Mm -hmm. I mean, they couldn't have gone far.
If they left for Maryland. It's not in Maryland.
No. It was an 18 -mile flight. Okay. And it took
23 minutes. And Taylor Swift even has nothing
on these numbers. On January 1st, 1914. Oh, okay.
College Park actually opened in 1909. First commercial
flight was a, it was a air, what are they called?
Dirigible? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Anyways,
it went from St. Petersburg, Florida. To Tampa,
Florida. Oh, okay. 18 miles in 23 minutes. There's
a thing that I sent to Nate the other day because
he was flying to Austin. And his plane was delayed
by like two and a half hours. It's a three hour
drive from DFW to Austin. And so I sent him this
thing from John Caparulo. And he's talking about
getting his flight got... delayed by like a couple
hours and it was from like akron to like dayton
ohio and he was like you can just why are we
still waiting on the tarmac you can just put
the plane on 35 and drive it up it's like a 30
minute drive i i wonder what he's up to these
days he's uh he had a podcast i don't know if
he still does uh we saw him in uh in fort worth
yeah Do you think by 2025 we should have a different
form of air conditioning on planes? What did
you have in mind? I don't know. I hate the system.
I don't know. Maybe something that comes from
the seats. The itty bitty fan? Yeah, that little
water bottle spout. That is just either going
to hit you directly on the head or just on your
tray table. You know, I don't think I've ever
thought about the air conditioning on a plane.
No? I'm always cold, so I just dress in layers
every time that I've been on a plane. Well, I'm
always hot, and it sucks. And Mr. Boeing needs
to address that as well as everything else that's
going wrong with their planes. Yeah, but get
on the air conditioning first. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want to build up that goodwill first. Priorities.
Before you start just fixing stuff like windows
busting out of the... Out of the body, mid -flight.
Hey man, you want air conditioning, what better
way to get it? Speaking of windows busting out,
did you know, do you know who Jennifer Royerdan
is? Royerdan? R -I -O -R -D -A -N? Riordan? Riordan?
Riordan? I think it's Riordan, because the author
of the Percy Jackson books is Rick Riordan. Related
to Jennifer Riordan? Quite possibly. I've never
heard that name in any other context. I hope
not. No. Who is Jennifer Riordan? She was a Wells
Fargo executive that lived in Albuquerque. Albuquerque.
And she was flying from New York, I believe,
to our lovely Love Field. Okay. Our local regional
airport. And you don't know this story. No. No?
Oh. Engine exploded over Philadelphia on the
way to Dallas. Blew out her window. She got partially
sucked out the window. Partially? Uh -huh. She
was still buckled. Her lap belt was still on.
She was still in her seat, but she just, you
know, got sucked out the window over Philadelphia.
They made an emergency landing. The woman next
to her tried to pull her out. It was unsuccessful.
Two men finally were able to get her back in
the plane, and she was no longer with us after
that. Sure. Because she literally got sucked
out of an airplane. Damn. And you know what?
That's not the only notable connection to Love
Field. Did you also know that Love Field has
some significant importance in the history of
this great nation? No. Is this a JFK thing? Oh,
it is. It is a JFK thing. So when JFK came to
Dallas that beautiful day in November of 1963,
he flew into Carswell Air Force Base in Fort
Worth, flew there to Love Field, which is, I
mean, how far would you say that? It's like an
hour? About, yeah. Yeah. So he made that flight.
It's an hour by car. I mean, I'm sure it's like.
20 minutes by plane. Mm -hmm. Meets people in
the tarmac. I think he has, like, a little speech.
He does his thing, and then that's when he gets
in his little motorcade and just makes his way
around Dealey Plaza. The motorcade? The motorcade,
and then pop, pop. Allegedly, Lee Harvey Oswald
did what he did. And after that, he went to Parkland
Hospital, which is right down the street from
there. His body was taken to Love Field on Air
Force One, but that's not the most historical
part about Love Field. Okay. On Love Field property
is the first president that was sworn into office
on an airplane, LBJ. He became the first president
sworn in to the presidency in Texas. and it was
the first time that a female justice swore in
a president. Wow, all kinds of history being
made. All that happened in LBJ, or in Love Field,
in November of 1963. Interesting. On a date that
is very precious to me. Yeah? Yeah, it has nothing
to do with it. For more than one reason. Yeah,
yeah. People around here are very particular
about JFK stuff. Yeah, everyone's got their theories.
Yeah. You think he's a lone gunman? No. Did you
see the files? No. That were just released? They
were like, this is everything. Everything you
could possibly ever want to know about this is
in these files. It wasn't. Yeah, no. It wasn't.
No. It wasn't everything. Because they allegedly
were going to release all the stuff about the
JFK assassination and the Martin Luther King
one. Yep. So far as I know, we've gotten a whole
lot of nothing. Zip. All the things that were
released were like super redacted, weren't they?
There were still a lot of redactions in it, yeah.
What about DFW? You know, the international airport
of our area. Do you know any notable instances
from there? No. None. Whatsoever. Not a single
thing comes to mind. When you think of Dallas
-Fort Worth International Airport. The only,
like, events that I associate with airports are
out of Logan and the Denver Airport. Hmm. Okay.
The only airport that I have any kind of lore
on is the Denver Airport. Yeah. Lucifer. Lucifer.
All right. Do you mind if I jog your memory real
quick? What do you got? Oh. Tiffany Gomez. That
was on an American Airlines flight at DFW Airport
that she was on, lost her damn mind, and then
de -planed or was thrown off the plane. Yeah.
And, yeah, created a nice little post -freakout
career for herself. What did she lose her mind
over? Uh, she just started pointing at someone
and said that MF -er right there, that MF -er
is not real. Yeah. That is not a real person.
What a crazy way to be found out if you were
a skinwalker. Yeah. Just a random lady on an
airplane. And then after that, there was all
sorts of people trying to splice together all
the footage that they had to see who she was
talking about. I think a lot of people like nailed
it down to like, one person and then he was like
uh yeah no i was just on the plane i was just
taking a flight guys likely story and then immediately
it came out that uh carrot top claimed he was
on the plane though it should be noted there's
no footage of carrot top You can't look that
recognizable and be like, actually, guys, I was
there. That's what I was thinking. Like, if you
see Carrot Top, you're going to know that's Carrot
Top. You would not pay attention to any other
person in that video, including Tiffany Gomez,
if Carrot Top was in the aisle. Like, is that
Carrot Top? Hey, what's going on back there?
Anyways, Carrot Top's here. Show us some props.
Show us some props. You think he didn't have
the giant sunglasses in his carry -on? Please,
guys, I'm trying to stay incognito. But the more
recent viral moment that came from DFW Airport
was in Terminal D, the nicest terminal in any
airport ever. Have you been to Terminal D? Maybe.
I don't know. Oh, that's nice. They just redid
it. It's been a while since I've flown out of
DFW. It's like first class, but an entire terminal.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Video comes out of a woman. Talking
about being at one with herself, trying to get
back to nature. Pretty much calling herself Pocahontas
and Ariel from The Little Mermaid Incarnate.
Okay. Starts throwing some water bottles, destroys
a TV, starts taking swings, stabs a dude with
a pencil. Oh, what? All this while, completely
butt naked. When was this? This was like... A
month ago? A month and a half ago? What? I have
no idea what you're talking about. This is a
thing, and there is a video of this naked woman
throwing stuff, emptying out water bottles on
people, and eventually stabbing a dude with a
pencil, all while completely naked. She's traveling
with her daughter. Oh. She got arrested for...
This was a week ago. It was a week ago? March
26th. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Mm -hmm. Oh, March
14th. Yeah, that sounds more correct -er. Insane.
So, I guess the moral of the story, you come
to Dallas, if you want to meet crazy women, you
go to DFW. If you need to get your body out of
the state from someone that you allegedly...
Had nothing to do with the assassination of,
you go to Love Field. Noted. Yeah. Do you know
what the busiest airports in the world are? Heathrow.
Is actually number six. JFK? Or LaGuardia? Neither
broke the top ten. O 'Hare? O 'Hare is eight.
Have you ever been to the ATL? I have, yeah.
Yeah, Hartsfield -Jackson is the world's busiest
airport. If you've ever been, it's like a mall.
It's got like three stories of just stores. Okay.
It is an extremely busy airport. TSA is going
to take you a while no matter what time of day
you fly. And I think that it falls into the same
category as Dallas is like one of the busiest
airports just because it's a hub for a lot of
international travel. So, like, if people are
going from the east to the west, they're probably
going to stay and they're probably going to have
a layover in Dallas. Yeah. Or, I guess, also
Atlanta. Dubai is number two. Okay. Which, do
we have flights that go to Dubai? We do, right?
Here? I don't, I wouldn't think so. Not without,
like, a bunch of connections. You have to fly
to, like, I would imagine Heathrow. Because Heathrow
is like the European launching point. What's
the Emirate airline? They have their own. I can't
remember what it's called. But, yeah, I think
they fly out of here. And then DFW is number
three. Followed by Tokyo, Heathrow, Denver with
Lucifer, O 'Hare, Istanbul. Interesting. And
you know what I have noted? With a lot of people
in Istanbul airports. What? Almost like 90 %
of them are just hair transplant guys. You see
a plane leaving Istanbul and it's just a bunch
of bald dudes with their heads wrapped. Maybe
one day I'll be one of those bald dudes. Yeah?
Maybe. Do you want to be one of those bald dudes?
I need to thicken all this up up front. Yeah.
I can't wear hats for the rest of my life. Because
when I eventually go bald, none of this skin
has had direct contact with the sun. And it's
pretty much just immediate. What am I going to
lather up with sunscreen every day? Just on my
head? Yes. And then the line. There's going to
be a line. And I'm going to look like Trump.
Oof. I'm going to have a bronzer line just at
the top of my forehead. and be pasty up top i
dated a guy for a while who uh shaved his head
at one point and he actually he did look surprisingly
good bald because i'm not really a not really
my vibe but um he had a landscaping job and so
he was outside for one day and his head got so
sunburned that it swelled he looks like toad
from mario I felt so bad. It was so funny. Yeah,
that's not the comparison you want. It was not.
I bet it was not a fun thing to deal with. I've
never been sunburned on my scalp. No? It's probably
for the best. Yeah. You ever been sunburned at
all? I have, yeah. A severe one? Yes. Like, Peel
City? Yeah, so I went floating the river, I think
it was like two years ago. And we were outside
for so, so long because the current wasn't really
moving. And so we were just like barely crawling
down the river. And by the time we got done,
I ended up almost like throwing up from like
sun exposure by the time we got like to flat
land. And we were just like we peeled for I think
an entire week. I had a tan line for a whole
year where my water shoes were. Like lobsters.
It was not. It was not fun. I was very brown
for the rest of that summer. So, you know, it
sort of worked out. But that was not pleasant.
Yeah. Well, I think that's about all I got for
this one. Okay. Any words of wisdom? Flying is
just falling with style. That's, yeah. That's
true. And if you ever are. In a situation where
you find yourself needing to fly on a plane,
be considerate of everyone around you. Don't
be a douche. Also, the space that you have in
your airplane seat is vertical from your armrests.
Please do not go outside of it. And also, to
airplane manufacturers, fix your air conditioning
systems. It's stupid. And, yeah. So we'll see
you next time. Peace out, Girl Scouts. All right.