Five, four, three, two, one, zero. Welcome to
the show, people. Welcome to the show. Eat my
shorts. So here is to conversation. Tranquility
base here. Vehicle has landed. Welcome to the
Cash Exchange. What up? Okay, so I have a little
bit non -traditional of a starter for you. What
I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a list
in order. I want you to tell me what this is
a list of. Okay. All right, so it's going to
be The Simpsons, South Park, Arthur, and Family
Guy. Timeless animations. They are timeless animations.
Animation shows. Arthur? Yeah. What do you have
against Arthur? It's creepy drawings and... Just
all together, it's unsettling. Have you ever
seen the episode of Arthur that Lance Armstrong
was on? Was he one of the actual humans? Yes.
Those make me really uncomfy. Yeah, no, I didn't
realize that Arthur was going to crack the third
space in this list. But this list, do you have
any more specific guesses as to what that order
is? The most profitable animated TV series. Again
with Arthur, that one's on PBS, so I don't think
they make a whole lot of money from it. Most
episodes. Longest running. Longest running animated
shows in the U .S. I wouldn't have thought that.
Didn't they cancel Arthur a couple years ago?
Yeah. But now they do like specials. I didn't
know they still did specials. But it ended in
2022. Good riddance is what I say. Well, DW was
an icon. I will not have this slander. So today's
episode is a deep dive. Into number five. Numero
cinco. Numero cinco. Now, before I kick this
off, I do have one question for you. Are you
ready, kids? Aye, aye, Captain. I can't hear
you. Aye, aye, Captain. Okay, so if you haven't
guessed by now, today's episode is about SpongeBob
SquarePants, a show that is as old as me. It
was first... Its first episode aired in May of
99. So this show is going on. But you only got
a beat by four months. This show is going on
its 26th year. And now, what do they do now?
Because I know it's not regularly scheduled now.
Is it just specials now? So they still do episodes,
but I think they've focused a lot less on the
original IP and they've switched it to... All
of the spinoffs and the movies and stuff that
they have in the works. Which have exploded.
It's crazy. Spinoff on spinoff. So the total,
like, run time, essentially, of all of the SpongeBob
stuff, or the collection that they have now,
the show itself is 331 episodes to date. But
that's not, like, full 30 -minute episodes. That's,
like, the half -episode segments. No, I think
it's the whole thing. The whole thing? I think
it's the full, like, 30 -minute episodes. So
they have like 600 and something vignettes? I
think so. Actually, now that you mention that,
I will need to double check that. I think it's
331 actual whole time slotable episodes. Okay.
I might be wrong. We need Jamie for this one.
But it includes not only those 331 episodes,
but also the spinoffs including Camp Coral and
a Twilight Zone parody, which is a super bizarre
choice and just very on brand for what Paramount
Plus I think was going for. It's just throw everything.
They've done the Twilight Zone. They've done
NFL. They've done the weird VH1 Behind the Music
stuff. They've been all over the place. They
are beating the hell out of that IP. Oh, Behind
the Music, the DocuPant series? Yeah. Okay. Yeah,
no, they have... They have gone very hard into
the SpongeBob thing, which, I mean, kind of makes
sense because it is, I would argue, a show that
shaped at least two generations. Yes. Although
our dad is a bigger fan of SpongeBob, I think,
than either of us were. I think so. If there's
a lull, he's usually putting on something like
SpongeBob on his phone or whenever he's with
his grandkids, he'll put SpongeBob. On his phone,
sitting on the couch, or it'll be like some obscure
old -ass episode like Tom and Jerry, Mighty Mouse,
something like that. It's time to put the Might
Mouse in the White House. So on top of all of
the spinoffs and all of the weird things that
Paramount Plus has done with SpongeBob in the
last couple of years, there's also soon to be
a fifth movie. I will say, I tried to do a lot
of research in this, but in the time frame that
I had to kind of study up on SpongeBob, I did
not make the... time and effort to watch the
back three, or the back two. So I've seen Sponge
Out of Water, which I love that it includes Keanu.
That's about it. And then I watched the first
one, which is iconic. No notes. So what was the
second one? So the second one, I forget what
exactly the plot is, but I think someone on the
mainland gets the Krabby Patty secret formula,
and so all of them turn into these bodybuilders,
and it's... really uncomfortable because everyone's
got like eight pack abs um and that's not that's
not even the worst i would argue design for that
movie because uh this the plankton version has
this bodybuilder build but also just has the
plankton head it is awful terrible to look at
it was a whole movie that got greenlit and it
feels like a thirst trap for very sick aquatic
kids show yeah terrible Now, I will say that
I'm a little biased, but our entire family loved
the Sandy Cheeks movie. I need to watch it, but
I really hate that animation style. I don't like
the weird 3D CGI stuff. Yeah. It was good, though.
It had Johnny Knoxville in it. Johnny Knoxville
in it? Yeah, he was one of her brothers. Interesting.
That's good. And then they're making their way
down to an ocean lab in Galveston. Okay. And
just so you know, for all you non -Texans, the
geography in that movie does not make sense,
and it is not accurate. So if you think you're
going to use that as a basis to travel Texas,
I would suggest against it. Okay, but since when
do we believe in SpongeBob's take on Texas? They
have bullied Texas since the first season. I
mean... But in the end, Sandy is able to prove
why she loves Texas so much and how great it
truly is. It's fair, but it doesn't mean that
they didn't spend the whole episode. Oh, man,
I want the little dolphin noise to censor this.
Talking crap about Texas. What is it? There's
a line where SpongeBob says, Hey, Patrick, what
am I? I don't know, stupid. No, I'm Texas. What's
the difference? Hey, hey, did Connecticut get
a shout out on Spongebob? An entire episode?
Is there an episode of Spongebob called Connecticut?
Can you tell me anything about the state of Connecticut
in general? What about New Hampshire? White people,
I can tell you that. Yeah? White lesbians that
love foliage. Is that Connecticut? That feels
very Vermont. It's all the same up there. Wow.
It's all lesbians with their double handling,
two hands on their cup of tea, just watching
the leaves fall. I want to be in a place in my
life where I can two -hand a mug of tea and watch
the leaves fall. Well, you just need a couple
more cats. Hey. You're on your way. She's on
her way. Hey. Anyway. Your name. Did you know
that? Did you know that's what your name means?
I need the cricket sound back. Well, too bad.
Yes, I did know. I'm sure you can do something
with that. I'm doing so well that you could play
my leg because I'm breaking a leg out here. So
whenever you're ready. No. I won't. Okay. Also,
I don't know which button it is. You got to look
at the label. See what I mean? It's a flawed
system. How do I wear the labels? You see where
the pads are? Right there. You see where the
pads are pictured? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's the
one above it, not the one below it. I always
think it's the one below it. How many times do
we have to teach you this lesson, old man? There
we go. There we go. Okay, so this show has had
a stranglehold on millennials and Gen Z. It definitely
had a stranglehold on, like, my household until
recently. Yes. But does it have one on yours?
Like, is your significant other also randomly
quoting SpongeBob? Oh, no. No. No. My kids do.
Yeah? Yeah. Really? I've trained them well. But
as well as the Sig Oath, as I call her. No. For
the record, do not support Sig Oath. Why not?
I feel like you could have used S -O. I feel
like S -O is a better way to shorten that. There's
not enough punch to that one. That's just so
-so. Sig Oath. Sig Oath is better. Did she watch
SpongeBob growing up? I don't think so. We have
very different opinions on what should be on
the television. Okay. I don't think SpongeBob
was really up her alley. Neither was The Simpsons.
South Park was because of her brother. Okay.
But, yeah, I don't think SpongeBob was a heavy
hitter in their household. I will say that I
think that our childhoods were a lot more shaped
by animation than the majority. I don't know
if that's 100 % true. Shout out to Malachkies.
Yeah, I don't know if that's 100 % true, but
I also know that we have watched a probably unhealthy
amount of animated TV. Oh, without a doubt. But
hey, are we better for it? That stands to be
determined. We'll see. Maybe. I do think that
a lot of my humor is shaped by shows like Spongebob.
Oh, I quote it in my daily life all the time.
Yeah? What are your, what quotes? Like, what
do you quote often? Why don't you hit that top
button? Sounds like a lot of... I use that one
a lot. Whenever I'm making a sandwich, is mayonnaise
an instrument? Okay. Goodbye, everyone. I'll
remember you all in therapy. I think of that
one a lot. East, I thought you said weest. You
know, for a person who makes as many wrong turns
as I do, I should really use that one more often.
You don't take that as like an affront? That's
not offensive to you? I'm aware of my limitations.
Or anytime anything starts with a W, I automatically
think of wombo. I wombo, you wombo, he, she,
we. Wumbo? Wumbology? The study of Wumbo? I missed
an opportunity with my major. I could have studied
Wumbology. You could have. It's a shame. You
could be on the cutting edge of Wumbology. Another
one, just whenever I'm frustrated or I just want
to annoy someone, just a little, little, little.
That one, that quote is on the same level to
me as like the annoying goat screaming thing
that your daughter got for Christmas. Son. That
your son got for Christmas. Yeah. Daughter's
the one that abuses it, but it's technically
it. Regardless, that's on the same playing field
as the same level of annoyance. Oh, it is. I
like that one. It is. And it's a tool to keep
in your back pocket. Yeah. For whenever you just
want someone to stop talking. A little, little,
little. When there's certain people in our lives
that want to talk about politics, a little, little,
little. That's genius. Okay, so I might be coming
around on that one. And then one of my better
quotes that can be... used in the constant battle
that is parenting is liar, liar, plants for hire.
I don't know that one. I don't think I know where
that one's from. Patrick says it, and then SpongeBob
says, it's pants for hire, or it's pants on fire.
And then Patrick said, you would know, liar.
My entire childhood just flooding back to me
right now. Yeah. It is genuinely. insane to me
how Spongebob is interwoven into our lives. In
looking into this episode, I don't think I watched
Spongebob on purpose for years. But as soon as
I was watching back over some of the stuff, I
realized just how much I quote it. I don't use
a lot of the ones that you have. My favorite
ones are Are You Ready Kids? Every time I leave
my house. To yourself? If I'm in other people's
company. And I will be disappointed if I don't
get an aye -aye cap. Whenever I went to Massachusetts,
I took a picture of Plymouth Rock, which, for
the record, super disappointing. Plymouth Pebble.
It's just a boulder. Or actually, it's not a
boulder. It's a rock! And the Goofy Goober song.
It plays in my head, rent -free, just way too
often. Which version? Which version? Yeah. Is
it the Weenie Hut Jr.? Or is it the... No, the
wizard Spongebob at the end of the movie. The
Goofy Goober rock. I'm a Goofy Goober rock. I
think about it a lot. See, I think that's where
we differ, because I... I am a goofy goober.
You're a goofy goober, yeah. We're all goofy,
goofy, goofy, goofy, goofy goobers, yeah. And
then I have my kids, especially the youngest.
She'll do something. She's like, I'm being a
real goober right now. And it makes me so proud.
I love it. That is A -plus parenting. So I was
looking at kind of how we ended up with SpongeBob
as this kind of cultural touchdown. Because there
were a lot of other shows and stuff that came
out, I think, in the same time that didn't have
the same staying power. And I was watching a
deep dive on YouTube on its cultural impact,
which is by Luis? I don't know. But there's a
video on YouTube, and it's talking about how,
SpongeBob got so big and stayed so long because
it kind of came of age when the internet did.
And so it just had all of this basis for being
on the forefront of internet culture. And the
people who were raised with the internet, so
millennials and Gen Z, use that to their advantage.
And that's why there is a billion SpongeBob memes.
I have a shirt that has all of them. I didn't
realize how much SpongeBob clothing I own or
how many SpongeBob things. I'm in a SpongeBob
hoodie if you're not watching the video right
now. I had a yellow shirt, just yellow, which
is not a flattering color on a little chubby
fifth grader. I thought this was going to be
present day. You kind of look like a rubber duck.
But it had SpongeBob's face on the front. And
then on the back. It said Spongebob nudie pants.
Oh, that's unfortunate. This is a shirt for children,
which, I mean, technically he wasn't wearing
clothes, but he doesn't have any genitals. So
I don't see what the real issue is besides the
word nudie pants. Yeah. Anyways, I got pulled
aside by my prude of a fifth grade teacher. Hey,
yeah, maybe let's not wear that shirt to school
again. Maybe she was just trying to save you
from wearing the color yellow. It doesn't look
good on anyone. Maybe, maybe. That's possible,
I guess. Miss, I don't know. She was also the
teacher that made us send home permission slips
so we could watch Romeo and Juliet. Is that weird?
Is what weird? That you had to send out a permission
slip for Romeo and Juliet? Oh, I just think it
was weird that fifth graders were seeing some
tea towels on the television. But then we also
read The Giver, which also has some scenes that
are a little much for some fifth grade boys to
handle. I don't think I read that one. I think
that's one of the things that's theoretically
getting banned, so I probably should before it's
gone. You probably should. So another important
aspect of SpongeBob is the music. And we've touched
on some of it already, but do you have a list
of your top songs from SpongeBob? So my number
one, and this is entirely based on the fact that
I learned to play it on the ukulele, is The Grass
Skirt Chase. It is one of the things I'm proudest
of in terms of playing the ukulele. Fun is a
great song. It is. To a point. All of these are
to a point. The Campfire Song is not my favorite.
The Ripped Pants Song, 10 out of 10. The Campfire
Song has the ability to overstay its welcome
after the first play. Yes. But if you are in
the presence of children, you're probably not
going to get away with just one play. You won't.
Ripped Pants, kids think that's the funniest
thing ever. And I agree. It is. I agree. Goofy
Goober Song. Fun song, yeah. I mean, you got
all of them, except for you didn't mention a
song that wasn't original to SpongeBob, but SpongeBob
definitely threw it up into the stratosphere.
Sweet Victory? Sweet Victory. That was one of
the things I also wanted to touch on in this
episode, that Sweet Victory, the halftime show,
incredible episode. It did not scratch my top
five, but that is for... No lack of quality.
But whenever Stephen Hillenburg died, there was
a change .org petition to get Sweet Victory played
at the Super Bowl halftime show. It got 1 .2
million signatures. As it should. As it should,
absolutely. And so whenever we were coming up
on the Super Bowl, Adam Levine, because if this
is any... Frame of reference for the time period,
Maroon 5 was playing the Super Bowl halftime
show. Adam Levine posted a video and Spongebob
was in the background. Was this before or after
he wanted to name his child after his mistress?
This was before the... I was going to quote the
tweets or whatever it was, the DMs, and I can't
remember what they were, thankfully. But the...
Yeah, so he posted about it, and so people lost
their minds. They were like, oh, okay, so we're
going to do this great tribute to Stephen Hillenburg,
and he is going to get the kind of send -off
that he deserves. And then the Super Bowl comes
around. And if you are not familiar with the
episode of SpongeBob, this is probably not the
episode for you, the podcast episode. I don't
know how you could know anything about SpongeBob
and not know about Sweet Victory. If you consider
our current viewership base of members of our
family, it's very possible. No. No? Not mine.
No. One of us adopted? What do you mean not yours?
What do you mean? I mean our listenership right
now is the members of our family who wouldn't
have watched Spongebob. Okay, but they've all
seen it. The little ones would definitely know
what Sweet Victory is. I'm not talking about
the little ones. Okay, well, don't downplay my
family. They're part of my family. They're part
of your family. They are. Do they listen to the
podcast? You jerk. I'm talking about the ones
who actively listen to the podcast. Do your children
listen to the podcast? Yes, and that is not because
of me. No? No, it's because of decisions made
outside of my control. But you know what? Hey,
guys. All three of you. Love you. There we go.
I got their shout out. Yeah. I am not trying
to downplay the legitimacy of the younger members
of our family. I'm just saying if they're choosing
to listen to things. And what about our listener
in Botswana? That always pops up whenever we
post a new episode. You know, whoever's at that
internet cafe. And Guinea -Bissau. Shout out
to them. We're big in Africa. Are we now? Yeah,
apparently. We're trying to be Bono. According
to the analytics, we're big in Africa. That's
going to be our first shirt. It's going to be
us and then AIDS. Anyway, so if you are not familiar,
in the episode, what is it, Band Geeks? Yes.
In the episode Band Geeks, they do this like.
lead up to the actual song. And so it's Squidward
and SpongeBob doing this little introduction
thing. So they do the introduction, and it cuts
to Maroon 5 doing their whole thing, which felt
very much, circling back to present day, like
the Better Man biopic or whatever, where he's
like, for the next two hours, your ass is mine!
And then it just plays the gentlest of pop songs.
Adam Levine looking like a Chipotle bag. Hey,
if you get the opportunity, anyone out there,
look up the Adam Levine skit where he fights
Train. It's an SNL skit where Maroon 5 fights
Train. All right. Well, I know that we're watching
after this. Sure. Wuss rock domination. I've
never heard a more accurate description of Maroon
5 than wuss rock. Anyway, so people were not
happy because they had teased this like... As
they should not be. Absolutely. Because they
teased the Super Bowl performance and it was
like 10 seconds, maybe. Do you think that had
any effect on the Great Flush? The what? Do you
know what the Great Flush is? That's the thing.
I'm not making it up. This is an actual thing.
This is a thing that engineers take into consideration.
Yeah. It is the start of halftime during the
Super Bowl. Everyone goes to the bathroom and
is flushing at the same time, and it puts a huge
strain on our plumbing system. And I'm not kidding.
This is a thing. Look it up. The Super Bowl Great
Flush. I won't, and I do not believe you. It
is. I'll look it up right now. That's fine. So
while you're figuring this thing out, people
were upset about the Super Bowl, and the heroes
of this story are the Dallas Stars. Go home team.
During their... I want to say it was a playoff
game. For their halftime show, they did the whole
performance of Sweet Victory and redeemed the
tribute to Stephen Hillenburg. RIP. Okay, here
we go. Are you ready? What do you got? From Times
Herald Online. This was written by Matthias Gaffney.
It was last updated August 30th, 2018. What kind
of name is Matthias Gaffney? A very reputable
one, actually. Sure. Okay. Yada, yada, yada.
No other man -made event, not the World Series,
an American Idol episode, nor the Olympics causes
such an increase, said Tyrone Jue. Jue? J -U
-E. How would you spell that? Jue. Sounds okay.
I don't know why you're passing judgment on this
man. You don't know. But for the San Francisco
Public Utilities Commission, the Super Bowl is
the one time that happens. Yeah. In the wastewater
industry, that's a known fact that wastewater
goes up in that window. And it is known as the
great flush. Okay. Thank you. All right. Now
that's settled. Back on the topic of Steven Hillenburg.
Actually, do you have any other fun Super Bowl
facts you want to throw at me? Anything you want
to contribute to Sweet Victory? Do you want to
give us a full rendition? Not for free. No, that'll
be on our Patreon. Yeah? Yeah. I'll track down
one of my high school marching band outfits,
uniforms. Do you still own those? Full plume.
Full plume, really. But I could get a very good
-looking knockoff. I went thrift shopping the
other day, and I found someone's whole high school
and middle school career worth of band recordings.
And I'm very curious if that was the person who
had graduated and wanted to distance themselves
reasonably from being in a middle school and
high school band, or if it was a parent that
was just like, eh. You want some advice? What?
If you have even, I don't know, the smallest
amount of riz, you got that riz on you, join
band. Because it is like fish in a barrel. The
dudes in band are freaking nerds. But there's
some hot ladies. How long were you in band? 7th
through 10th grade. I stayed long enough to go
on the Disney World trip. Yeah. And then after
that, I decided that I had other priorities.
Being a jock? No, because I quit football too.
No, my priorities were just, you know, being
an upstanding citizen. outstanding student, taking
care of the less fortunate in my community. And
honestly, just band and football just didn't
jive with that direction that my life was heading.
That's impressive. Thank you. Thank you. It is.
It is. And I need to take time to recognize that.
So I appreciate you giving me that opportunity
for you seeing me. and allowing me to feel this
about myself. Thank you. Mariska Hargitay. Mariska
Hargitay. How long are you going to be eating?
My God. If I had a nickel. No, no, no. I didn't
mean that in any kind of obscene way. I didn't
think you did. Okay, but you looked at me. Maybe
I did. I don't know. Yeah, because how often
has that been said in any context? You know.
I've lived a full life, man. Full life. Yeah,
you were a band nerd and a jock, and then you
were an upstanding citizen. Yep. And now we're
here. Just a couple other minor things sprinkled
in between, but yeah. That's the gist of it,
yeah. Are you fat shaming the cat with the pooch?
I am not fat shaming her. I just need her to
pick a better time to be doing that. So what
are your favorite side characters for SpongeBob?
My favorite side characters? I mean, would you
consider Mr. Krabs as part of the main cast?
He's not on my shirt. So that's the main cast?
I think so. Okay. Crazy that... Plankton and
Gary made it, but not Mr. Krabs. They just didn't
have room. So you got Mr. Krabs, you got Pearl,
Larry the Lobster, Fred the Fish, who's the one
that says, my leg, and then play my other favorite.
Pretty girl. Nope, that's not it. What is your...
Oh, Hoopla? No, this guy stinks. I don't have
that. Huh? I don't have that one. You didn't
put that on there? I did not. We were going to
talk about this in the production meeting after.
Yeah? Are we? Okay. I'm just asking you to be
professional. That's all I'm asking for. We're
recording a podcast episode on Spongebob that
we had to pause for because the cast... Maybe
lower your standards a little. Okay. Yeah, I
guess that's whatever. My favorite side character
is... Kevin is up there. The sea cucumber. Doodle
Bob. Doodle Bob. Very much so. Pearl. Perch Perkins.
I don't really care for Pearl. No, me either.
Mrs. Puff. I'm not a big fan of Mrs. Puff either.
Flats the Flounder. I do like Flats and Bubble
Bass. Bubble Bass. My all -time favorite character.
He's more of a cameo than a secondary character
or a side character. And that is the man known
as Smitty Warburton Yagerman Jensen. Is he your
favorite because he was number one? He was number
one! And I'm never going to let anyone forget
that. I'm going to keep his memory alive of being
number one. Yeah? Yeah. Are you going to get
him immortalized as a tattoo? Oh, one day. One
day. I've got to get my millhouse first. Working
on it. You know, I'm a... Ooh, Squilliam. I'm
a fan of Squilliam Fancy Son. He's a good one.
He's a good one. He really rocks that. You call
it a unibrow or a monobrow? Unibrow. Have you
ever heard the term monobrow? Okay. Because I
have used that term in my life and gotten a lot
of side looks like I'm just crazy because that's
not what it is. But it definitely is. We grow
up. We grew up around enough. Enough what? Enough
people who, if they chose to, could be considered
of Indian descent or Bangladeshi. And so I think
I am able to make the call that it can be either
monobrow or unibrow because I've seen enough
of them in my lifetime. That's disappointing.
There's not actually a difference between them.
Nice. I thought there would be like one of them
is this shape and one of them is this shape.
One of them's like a couple of hairs in the middle
and the other one's just a full brow. But no.
Yeah, no. I think that's all of my favorite of
the side characters. I did not know that the
My Leg guy's name was Fred. Fred the Fish. Ooh,
Dennis. The member of the village people that's
in the SpongeBob movie. Alec Baldwin. What about
the Hoff? I did like the Hoff in that specific
instance, but based on what else I know about
the Hoff, not my favorite. You don't like Cheeseburger
on the Floor, Hoff? Not particularly, no. That's
one of my favorites. Yeah? Yeah. It was chronically
online back in the earlier days of the internet.
What about conspiracies? What Spongebob conspiracies
do you have for me? So there's the one that everyone,
every animated show at least has gotten, which
is one of these people is real and the rest of
them are hallucinations or they're all some kind
of like mental illness. The Patrick's ADHD and
Spongebob is OCD, something like that. The seven
deadly sins. Yes. That kind of thing. A lot of
every. Show gets the seven deadly sins treatment.
How would you place them? As far as seven deadly
sins? Yes. You get Mr. Krabs' greed, obviously.
Patrick is... Was he sloth or gluttony? Plankton
is envy. Squidward is pride. Wrath. Sandy is
pride. Sandy's pride, okay. And Spongebob is
lust just because of how much he obsesses over
everything. Like everything has to take his entire
attention. And then for gluttony, Gary. Yeah,
I don't agree with that lineup, but sure. Well,
this is what I found on the Internet, and everyone
knows everything on the Internet is completely
true. I didn't completely agree with the lust
in SpongeBob. But it's kind of like in Gilligan's
Island, how there's Skipper, Marianne, Ginger.
Ginger, the professor, the billionaire, and his
wife. Yeah, so in a lot of those, about ooh.
Gilligan's Island is about the seven deadly sins.
One of them has, one of them double dips, and
then it's Gilligan that is the devil running
the show, keeping him on the island. I will say
in the terms of that specific kind of theory
where it's the seven deadly sins, I could agree
with the Gilligan's Island and the Willy Wonka
and the Chocolate Factory ones. I think that
those make sense as the seven deadly sins. I
think it's stupid whenever it's... Like Spongebob
or I think Winnie the Pooh is one of them. That
one might have been mental illnesses. I think
Winnie the Pooh is mental illness. It's like
Tigger is ADHD and Eeyore is depression. Yeah,
and our mom's favorite is Eeyore for some strange
reason. She likes an underdog. What about the
fact that they're all mutated freaks because
of all the... nuclear testing that we've done
at the Bikini Atoll. I fully stand behind this
one. Yeah? You think it's true? Yeah. Especially
because Hillenburg was a marine biologist. Yeah.
And so I think if there was going to be some
kind of basis to the conspiracy theories that
there are about SpongeBob, it would be that one.
That there are genuinely, like, mutated things
in the Bikini Atoll because it was our nuclear
testing site. I was actually watching a video
yesterday. Couldn't tell you the creator. Yeah,
I can. Y -Files. It's Y -Files. And they were
talking about all the places that they have done
all these nuclear tests and life is thriving
there. Like fish, coral, all this stuff is. But
then they're also like kind of mutated. Okay.
That's worth looking into. I mean, I think, like,
the forests of Chernobyl are also kind of thriving,
but not with anything I'd want to be around.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. The world's a funny
place, you know? Yeah. What about the theory
that SpongeBob is a tampon, a sponge that lives
in a bikini bottom? Best friend is a starfish.
Also hangs around with sandy cheeks. I have no
comment on this one. I mean... Did you get that
from iFunny? Where is this conspiracy theory
from? I mean, I've known about this one since
forever. I don't know where it originally came
from. But it's all adding up. This lady needs
to be checked out because she also has... Uh
-huh. So you're giving this theory no validity.
I am giving that theory no validity. After everything
that I have laid out before you, you're just
going to tell me no? I will accept seven deadly
sins way before I accept Spongebob is a tampon.
Would you prefer Diva Cup? I don't think he's
made of the right material to be a Diva Cup.
Oh. Oh, man. Okay. You know what? I'm just going
to say it. And I don't care who disagrees with
me, but I just feel like it's something that
needs to be said. Spongebob's a pretty great
show. It is. It really is. I definitely had...
Not so much now. I had... I don't think it's
just a matter of... I was a kid, so I just look
back at it nostalgically. But I do think that
it is... The older stuff is better than the new
stuff. I think they started running out of ideas
and then got a little crazy. Plus, then they
started adding all these silly characters that
I didn't care for. Yeah. Like the... After the
movie when they started adding the mermaids and
Poseidon and all that. Quick circle back. Favorite
side character. I completely skipped my top three.
Flying Dutchman, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy.
Sorry, I needed to interject that. It was going
to bother me. I didn't even think about the Flying
Dutchman. That's a good one, but I'm still going
with Smitty Warburton, Yangerman, Jensen. That's
fair. Yeah, when it comes to, I haven't seen
a lot of the new shows, so I don't know how much
they've actually involved mermaids and all that
kind of stuff. But one of the kind of through
lines that I found in watching it was that it
had the same kind of flanderization that all
of the animated shows eventually get. And everyone
says, hi, diddly -ho. Something like that, yeah.
Flanderization. I'm wearing nothing at all. Nothing
at all? Nothing at all? Man, I love stupid sexy
Flanders. So Flanderization is essentially the
process of dumbing a character down into just
this one caricaturistic trait. So whenever Ned
Flanders was first on The Simpsons, he was this
well -rounded, he was a churchy guy, but he wasn't.
Just religion. He was a whole person who just
happened to very strongly believe in his faith.
He was secretly old as hell and ripped. Yeah.
Stupid, sexy Flanders. But as time went on, when
people started liking certain aspects of him,
they ended up just kind of paring him down into
this widower who was just aggressively religious.
And that was just kind of... A widow or twice
over. Twice over, yeah, well. Do you think that
him and Kerbopple would have lasted had Marshall
Wallace still been around? I think so. I think
that they were a yin and yang. Yeah. But yeah,
so flanderization is a thing that happens to
a lot of shows where you just kind of like lean
into this one characteristic and that just becomes
the whole person. Like Stewie Griffin being gay.
Like that's just all he is now. He's not all
world destruction and all of that. Closeted.
What part of him is closeted? Does he admit it?
There's an episode where they go to Vegas and
he hires an escort as a person named Archibald
Meatpants. That sounds like a Moneybags Big Wiener
type of situation. It is very much a Moneybags
Big Wiener situation. See, this is why I hope
that your kids don't listen to this show. But
yeah, so in a lot of ways, SpongeBob got the
same treatment where a lot of their characters
just became this one trait. SpongeBob became
a goofball. Patrick was the idiot. Mr. Krabs
was just all greed. Plankton was just all indie.
All of that kind of stuff. And it's just gotten
a lot weaker because there's not well -rounded
people anymore. Early on, Spongebob was very
driven. He wanted to be employee of the month.
He wanted to be able to pass his driving test.
He wanted to do all these things, but just his
personality got in the way. But now it's just,
what's the stupidest thing we can come up with
for him to do to kill 30 minutes? Yeah, and so
I don't know. It's kind of a thought process
that I've had with a lot of shows and stuff that
I'll like circle back to eventually that I don't
know if the shows themselves are getting worse
because of that kind of flanderization or if
I'm just stuck in this like nostalgia loop of
like I was raised on first couple seasons of
SpongeBob and so those are the ones that are
near and dear to me. The deviation from that,
the new age SpongeBob just doesn't feel the same
to me. And so I don't have those kind of like
emotional ties. And so I don't know if that's
what's happening or if the quality has actually
just gone down. Although I will say that I'm
not a fan of the current animation style. I don't
like what they've done with the 2D SpongeBob
or any of the spinoffs. What about the 2D that
you don't like? Just like that it's so much brighter?
It feels lazy. So in the same... Circling back
to another animated show, in the same Family
Guy way that Family Guy came out in 97, and then
they've kind of altered their style as time went
on. But after Family Guy got really big, every
animated show you see on Fox that comes out now
looks like Family Guy. Yeah, I remember the first
episode of Family Guy where they decided to go...
computer -generated instead of, I don't know
if it was fully hand -drawn or whatever, but
they were able to do these big pan shots. It's
the Clue ripoff episode. And then there were
fewer, yeah. Yeah, and I just remember, I mean,
this is cool, but this is just not what I was,
what I have been, I don't know. condition to
like. I think my problem with the new age version
of animation in the Seth MacFarlane style or
the Spongebob style or honestly anything that
comes out these days is that it feels soulless.
It feels like a content machine. If you think
back to the 90s cartoons, Ed, Edd n Eddy, Rugrats,
Hey Arnold. All of that kind of stuff. All of
these animation styles were so vastly different,
even though they were probably made with the
same process. But now it feels like it's the
exact same thing done in 15 slightly different
ways. It feels like there's not artistry behind
it anymore. It's just a content machine. It all
comes down to whose voices you like better. Yeah,
I mean, and especially whenever they started
doing all these crossover episodes with The Simpsons
and Family Guy and all this other stuff. I will
say that one, well, not even that, South Park
stood out from the beginning because that was
completely unique compared to anything that was
on TV at the time. But even now, they try to
chase the same style, but it's all digital. And
so it kind of lost that soul. But then they chose
to do that because they wanted to be able to
churn out these episodes fast enough to where
they could stay topical and stay relevant. And
I think that they've done a very good job at
that. Whereas episodes like The Simpsons or Family
Guy, they have to write the episodes here. They
have to give a storyboard, send it over to, I
think it's Taiwan. And then it's all animated
there and then it comes back. And the whole thing
is like a six -month process. And so by the time
it actually gets to air, it's such a dated episode
or it's such a dated topic or the content is
so dated that there's no way you could keep up
with someone like The Simpsons. And that's because
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have stuck to their
guns about this is what this show is about and
this is how it's going to stay. Yeah. I am also
not a fan when it comes to South Park of the
specials. Yeah. That kind of felt like it was
them falling into the same trap that a lot of
the animation did. Yeah. Which I also understand
that when you're beholden to a streaming service,
your freedom is, I'm sure, pretty limited. Yeah,
I think that I've enjoyed most of the South Park
specials. There's one. that I just did not like.
And I think it might have been the COVID one
or the Ozempic one. Yeah. I just didn't think
that it was very good, and it felt like the story
was completely pointless. It just didn't feel
like a South Park property. Yeah. And especially
when you find out that the show gets delayed
because they're under contract for all these
specials that they have to do. And it just...
It kind of gets frustrating when you've been
a fan for so long that their attention is being
taken away from the thing that made them what
they are and everything is diminished in the
process. Yeah, I think that's kind of the problem
that I have with a lot of animation these days
is that everyone has just gone so far about what
made them great to begin with. Yeah. That we've
just been so focused on getting things out. that
it's lost all of its heart. Mm -hmm. But that's
enough about our soapbox. We're not going to
change anything. The world is still going to
turn tomorrow and the day after that and the
day after that and SpongeBob is still going to
be the same. South Park's going to be the same.
But you know what? We can still reminisce about
what was. That could have been an opportunity
for a SpongeBob quote. And the next day... And
the next day. And the next day. So speaking of
nostalgia, what are your top five? My top five,
okay. Sleepy Time. Can I get a brief synopsis,
please? So Sleepy Time is where SpongeBob ends
up in everyone's dreams. That one is one of my
favorites, especially because of librarian Gary.
Fry Cook Games. That's a classic. That one's
definitely one of my favorites. Pizza Delivery,
partially because it is one of the originals
and because it is one that I quote, every time
there's a strong breeze. Anytime I have to walk
against the wind, I think of the Pizza Delivery
episode. Do you sing the song to yourself? Not
always to myself, but yes. Texas had to be on
the list. Of course. And Mermaid Man and Barnacle
Boy 3. which is the episode where SpongeBob and
Patrick have to watch over the marmalade and
they get tricked into thawing Man Ray from his
tartar sauce prison. And so they're trying to
teach Man Ray how to be good. And they send him
to the bank and get him. He's like trying to
rob it and he ends up getting checks with little
baby chicks on it. It's the best. My top five.
One crab's trash. He was number one. The episode
of Smitty Warburton -Jägerman -Jensen. So that's
definitely number one for me. Okay. Number two,
Krusty Krab training video. Yeah. Which contains
one of our all -time favorite lines. Sounds like
a lot of... Sounds like a lot of... Hoopla! I
thought it was just the hoopla. Dum -da -da -dum.
The best. Well, the second best. Yeah. Number
three, Texas. I wish these first two didn't exist
so that could be number one, but this is the
world we live in. I don't make the rules. Number
four. Sandy, SpongeBob, and the worm. What kind
of worm? Well, he's big. He's pink. And he's
hairy. The Alaskan bull worm. I forgot about
the Alaskan bull worm episode. And when they're
running from said Alaskan bull worm. Sandy asks
SpongeBob to reach in his pockets to see if he
has anything that can save them. And for whatever
reason, he has a paper clip and some string.
And he says, oh, this is perfect. And he fashions
it into a necklace that has an S. He said, this
will be perfect so they can identify our bodies.
S for Spongebob or S for Sandy. And then Sandy,
being the resourceful problem solver Texan that
she is, takes it, fashions it into a lasso, and
says S for save our skins. And you know what?
Thanks to her Texan ingenuity, they survive.
a run -in with an Alaskan bull worm and live
to fight another day. Okay. And then in the process,
they lead the Alaskan bull worm off a cliff that
happens to be where they moved new Bikini Bottom
to and crushed the entire city. But you know
what? You know what? They survived. That's not
her fault. It's not. It's not. They should have
trusted Sandy and her Texan -ness to get them
out of this situation. But they didn't. So it's
kind of on them. It's kind of their own fault.
And then number five is Idiot Box. Imagination.
A classic. So two honorable mentions that I wanted
to add in here was the Pretty Patty episode.
And I don't remember the actual name of it, but
it's... The Magic Conch Shell episode? That one's
definitely one of my favorites. Yeah, where they
get lost in the woods. Yeah? Yeah. Magic Conch
Shell, can I have something to eat? The conch
has spoken! Oh. If Squidward had just trusted
in the conch, everything would have been fine.
Maybe that was a show with a broader message.
He has no faith. Was that the message? I think
so, yeah. To have faith? Mm -hmm. George Michael
preached it. You gotta have faith. The faith,
the faith. Okay, so do you think that this is,
this has a stronghold on the next generation
too? Or did it die out with Gen Z? I think that
it, I think it died out with Gen Z and I think
that it is a, it's going to be like a, Not cool
thing because your parents liked it. Okay. Like
how I don't think that Wham is very cool. They
have some decent songs. I'm sorry, are you telling
me that Wake Me Up Before You Go -Go is not a
banger? I don't seek it out, I can tell you that
much. Okay. But our mother, at least, loved Wham.
Yeah. Loves lamb. And I just think that it's
one of those things, like, this is so lame. And
I think that's probably more based on the fact
that it was something that our parents liked
and we just want to be contrarians and we want
to have our own identities and we want to be
our own people, which is fine. And that's probably
the reason that SpongeBob isn't in regular production
now because of that turn. But, I mean, did we
really need more 22 -episode seasons of SpongeBob?
Probably not. They went so hard with the first
couple of seasons that I think that's going to
coast for as long as people in our generations
are doing things on the internet. Yeah, because
I'm never going to get tired of watching the
first three or four seasons of SpongeBob. Bubble
stand? Incredible episode. Yeah. And it just,
there's a scene, there's an entire episode dedicated
to SpongeBob bringing home a wild jellyfish and
throwing a rave in his house and kicking him
out. And that was just, it doesn't make any sense.
But it didn't need to. We were little lambs.
This was pre -9 -11. We didn't know. the hardships
that the world could bring to us. Yeah. We just
wanted to see our jellyfish throwing a rave,
having a great time. And you know that if you
were in an actual nightclub and a DJ throws on
the jellyfish rave, people are going to lose
their mind. Yes, still. I mean, the people that
would lose their mind probably aren't going to
clubs as much anymore. Probably not. But, I mean,
you put it on at the grocery store, you're going
to have some broken hips. Yeah. You're going
to have a couple slipped discs. Next time I go
to the grocery store with my AirPods on, I'm
just going to play the jellyfish rave on repeat.
Okay, so if there's not a pull for SpongeBob
in the new generation, what? What do you think
is going to have that kind of cultural significance
and that staying power? Because I don't have
kids regularly in my presence, so I don't have
a concept of what impacts them on the day -to
-day. I would think that it is something that
we have no interest in. It's probably going to
be something that's like a YouTube channel. Okay.
Bluey. Bluey has some staying power, and Bluey
has the same kind of grab to the kids as well
as the adults that SpongeBob had, but it doesn't
have the... I won't say it doesn't have, but
it has much, much less innuendo and jokes that
are strictly meant for the adults. Yeah. So I
think that that is... Probably closest, but I
mean, as far as SpongeBob goes, SpongeBob had
the appeal of a much broader range than Bluey.
Yeah. Bluey's a great show, but at the end of
the day, it's meant for kindergarten, first grade,
that demographic. Yeah, you mentioned whenever,
I think it was like all the kids and us hanging
out that... that you would watch it sometimes
even without the kids. I do. I don't think I
could get into a place where I want to watch
Bluey by myself. Like if I were with kids, I'm
sure I would enjoy it, but I've very much watched
Spongebob as an adult just for funsies. I pass
by videos on Bluey TikTok on their page. You're
on Bluey TikTok? Uh -huh, I sure am. And there's
a segment of an episode where... The girls are
playing ping pong, but Bandit is the ball. So
they're running back and forth with their paddle,
and he's running between them. And it's just
good, wholesome fun. And as a father, I would
make that maybe like make the back and forth
like three times, and I'd be winded, and then
they would probably have to call somebody. So
Bandit is the father that I aspire to be. And
maybe that's why I watch it. That's a good aspiration.
Yeah. I like Bandit from the episodes I've seen.
Yeah. I mean, you should definitely check it
out, Sans Kids, because then you can really dig
into it. You can get to the meat of the message,
you know? Really take in all the milieu. I guess.
All right. So the last thing that I kind of wanted
to touch on was back on the topic of Stephen
Hillenburg. Okay. So I fell into a, I think a
pretty decent -sized group of people that did
not watch SpongeBob after Stephen Hillenburg
died. And granted, some of that was the fact
that I was kind of older or too old for regular
watching, but I stopped watching it because after
Stephen Hillenburg died, it came out that he
was against the idea of a spinoff. and Nickelodeon
essentially put out, I want to say it was at
least Camp Coral, but maybe a different spinoff
too, right after he died. The timing looked super,
super suspicious that all of the sudden the guy
who said, I don't want this is dead, and so they
immediately do it. But what I didn't know until
researching for this episode was that Stephen
Hillenburg, That whole thing was taken out of
context. It was a thing that he said back, I
want to say it was like the early, early, early
aughts, where he originally wanted the show to
end after the SpongeBob movie, the one with Hasselhoff.
And the reason that he wanted it to end there
was because he had, he didn't want it to get
watered down. He didn't want to dilute the story
and turn it into this just like mindless cartoon.
To which there is still merit to it having stopped
there just because it has turned into a mindless
cartoon. Definitely, yeah. But his thing was
not, it was just like he couldn't see a spinoff.
Not that he was against the idea, it was just
not a thing that he had thought of because in
his head it ended after the first movie. And
so I... I was against the show and against Nick
and everything after he died because that felt
just really gross. You got QAnoned. Sure, I got
QAnoned. But now I know better. And knowing is
half the battle. Well, there you go. See? So,
silver lining. Yeah. The viewership took a, from
what I saw, a pretty heavy hit after... And I
think a lot of that was that same conversation
that he didn't want this to happen. And so a
lot of people that were in the more social justice
-y age were just upset and didn't want to contribute
to something that felt skeezy. Well, I mean,
in the entire time that he was alive, he was
pretty hands -on, right? Yeah. Yeah, so it's
not like a Seth MacFarlane situation where...
He started doing other stuff, and so he just
gave the keys to someone else. Yeah, so that
makes sense. But yeah, I mean, all the spinoffs
and stuff definitely reek of corporate greed
and just trying to wring out as much as you can
from it. But I don't know. I mean, every now
and then you'll... You'll get a genuinely good
episode that has memorable things happen, but
I don't know a single person that has that kind
of effect on newer stuff. If I can talk about
SpongeBob to someone, it's going to be the old
stuff. It's going to be somewhere around the
original. It's definitely not past season five.
I would argue that the kind of final nail in
the coffin was the second movie. because I think
that was such a heavy departure from what they
had done before. And this is my own personal
bias because, again, I absolutely hate the way
that they did it. But I think that that was their
kind of turning point for the worse. What if
they had done the movie in the way of the time
or the episode where they go above water and
it's just a sponge on a stick and a toy plastic
crab? I would love that. They could have done
the marionettes like they did with Potty the
Parrot. Oh, man. It would have been creepy as
hell, but it would have worked. So what is something
that you can take away in your life from SpongeBob?
Something that you were able to gain from all
your many hours of consumption that have made
you a better person. that have made me a better
person. Better is relative. If it's better to
you, if you think it's cool just kicking puppies
when you pass by them, then I guess that's your
prerogative. I'm not here to judge. I'm just
here to extract the information. The good thing
that I've gotten from SpongeBob is that because
of the social environment that I was raised in,
I think that the quotes, being able to quote
something so regularly for just... mundane things
that happen in my everyday life. When there's
a stiff breeze, I think of the Krusty Krab pizza
song. I think that it adds a little bit of fun
to just nothing situations in your life. And
I think that's the best thing about that show.
And I think it kind of gives us a secret language.
Yeah. It's a great connector. Yeah. I think taking
away something... from it for me would be it
was it was a bridge between me and our dad yeah
because we didn't really have that much when
growing up but spongebob was always a connector
that we did have so anytime it was on tv we could
sit down and watch it and just uh have that time
all right you got any final thoughts my uh my
final thing for today Be the goofiest goober
you can be. That is fantastic. And I don't think
that can be topped. So, we'll see you next time.
See y 'all later.