Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
Welcome to the show, people.
Welcome to the show.
Eat my shorts.
So here is to conversation.
And quality based is the Eagle Half Lambit.
Alright, welcome to the Cash Exchange.
Welcome.
How's it going?
Going good, can't complain.
We're in our temporary new studio.
Kind of like this set up better than the one we had for all the other episodes.
We just need to get some bar stools so we're not...
Or walking pads so that we can get our steps in.
I think this is workable for now.
It's definitely a...
It's definitely a change of pace.
This is a lot of...
A lot of space.
More than I thought it'd be.
So...
What do...
Walter Mitty...
Buddy the Elf...
And Eat, Pray, Love have in common?
Walter Mitty, Buddy the Elf, and Eat, Pray, Love.
Yes.
They are...
I was gonna say they're great movies but I've never seen Eat, Pray, Love.
And also I'm not a fan of Julia Roberts.
Um...
What's wrong with Julia Roberts?
She just bothers me.
I don't...
I don't have a specific grievance necessarily.
I don't think she's a great actress.
I did like Erin Brockovich but that's...
That's about it.
Oh.
Okay. I mean that's fair.
You're...
Able to have your opinions.
I'm gonna go with...
Transformative Journey movies.
Good job. Yeah.
Yeah. Especially people that are traveling alone.
For a specific purpose.
And...
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, it was...
He was trying to...
Break the...
Of his life.
After getting fired from Time.
That was a fantastic movie.
It was. It was really strange but it was a really good movie.
Have you seen the original?
I didn't know there was an original.
I didn't either until...
So I had talked it up for a long time and we finally got around to watching it.
And when I went to look it up there was a one from...
It was forever ago.
Is it like Scandinavian?
No. It's American.
Norwegian?
Um...
Because most of it takes place in like Iceland.
Mm-hmm.
The Ben Stiller version.
I want the original. I don't want the Ben Stiller version.
47. It came out in 47.
Oh.
So it's...
It's old.
Okay. So that's the kind of remakes we should get.
We should get movies that are remade.
But no one knows that they're remakes because the original is...
60 years old.
Yeah.
Although we should stop making A Star is Born. We've peaked.
Instead we are getting talks of a Twilight reboot.
I'm sorry, what?
Uh-huh.
That's the thing that's in the works.
Are they gonna do like Midnight Sun where it's the first book but from Edward's perspective?
Because I have that book that I haven't read for six years now.
I don't think so.
I think that it is the first three Twilight books redone.
Huh.
I don't think you can match the chemistry between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.
I think the casting was just an A plus.
What about Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart?
You imprinted on a baby?
What about Kristen Stewart and the cactus?
The sexual tension between Kristen Stewart and the cactus was better than anyone else in that movie.
Can we...
Lightning doesn't strike twice.
They remade Twilight. We talked about it in our previous episode.
Vampires Suck is an A plus movie.
Twilight itself is C minus.
Yeah, I mean if you go back and watch Vampires Suck, I don't think that you would
really think that the development team is much different from the ones that did the Twilight movies.
I do love that the Twilight movies were what launched Robert Pattinson into his like weird theater phase.
And then he spent his entire career hating on it and trying to erase that image.
As he should.
I don't blame him.
He did great in The Batman.
The Lighthouse was one of the weirdest movies that I've seen, but him and Willem did a great job.
Who?
Willem.
DeFoe.
Willem.
What about Buddy the Elf?
Have you seen this film?
This masterpiece?
I watched it every year.
I have a...
There's a Buddy the Elf on my bookshelf, which you might be able to see on my camera.
Oh, there is.
Yeah.
He took a transformative journey.
He did.
He found out that everything he was living was a lie and then confronts the people responsible for the lie.
And then goes on his journey to find out who he truly is.
Confronts is a strong word.
I don't know if there's a lot of confrontation.
He's just...
He passes out and then they say, okay, well, here's the truth.
So I guess, yeah, confrontation isn't the right word for it.
He gingerly approaches.
Yeah, I would go with gingerly approaches.
Approaches the people that have lied to him his entire life and finds his dad, who turns out to be a big old jerk until he's not a big old jerk.
And then everything's fine.
I love that he's a big old jerk that works in children's book publishing.
Well, yeah, because then if you're a jerk and you work in children's book publishing, then that makes you a super jerk.
Sure.
I also watch Peter Dinklage in that movie.
If you're saying that kids are so stupid that there can be complete pages missing out of their books and they're not going to notice that that makes you a jerk.
They did a really good job at convincing you that he was the worst.
I mean, anyone who lives in an apartment like that in Manhattan, it's not not the best person.
I don't think that you get one of those things ethically.
Unless you're a nepo baby, in which case your parents didn't do some some things ethically.
You might be right. You might be right.
I wish we were nepo babies.
Yeah, Karen, John, what happened with that?
Technically, we're nepo babies, but not here.
We're nepo babies that don't don't reap the benefits of being nepo babies.
What's the point of being a nepo baby then?
I mean, it's just title, I guess.
Last one, Eat, Pray, Love.
So you haven't seen Eat, Pray, Love, but you know the concept.
Yes, she gets divorced, right, and then she goes on this self empowerment,
like figuring out who she is, Journey.
And goes on a pasta bender.
Yeah, in Italy.
That feels on brand with my own character development.
I should probably watch Eat, Pray, Love.
You probably should.
I'm going to eat a lot of pasta this year.
There you go.
I expect that scale to be up at least 20 pounds by 2026.
I've actually been getting my steps in.
I've gone to the gym every day that I've been here so far.
Yeah, that's good.
Had a lot of time to myself.
Yeah, I mean, you got to stay active.
You got to stay busy.
That's what they say.
So along those same lines, I don't think that I've ever,
I've never taken an extended trip just because I needed to discover myself
or find out who I really am, but I do know people I have.
Yeah.
And so today I want to talk to you about traveling solo.
OK.
Because I think it's something that you've done more for personal reasons,
for entertainment than I have because my travel is mostly work related.
I travel all over the United States for my work stuff.
And so I feel like going into each of those, you have a completely different
mindset.
I will say that when it comes to traveling solo, that my experience is,
at this point, mostly theoretical.
This is the most traveling solo I've done.
Yeah.
Ever.
OK, well, what's your first big move?
Making it to Austin by myself was a very big move.
My next thing after this is going to be, honestly, I don't know.
I'd love to go camping, but camping by yourself is a definitely a big thing
to adjust to.
So that might have to be after I'm more seasoned in traveling by myself.
But I did get a frontier pass, so I'll be able to go on those super cheap flights
to all of the destinations that Frontier flies to.
So I'll be able to do a lot more traveling by myself this year.
What's your plan for the first trip?
Because the Frontier Pass is pretty much unlimited travel, right?
You just pay a one-time fee for the year?
So you pay a one-time fee for the year, and then you pay a penny and whatever
taxes would apply per flight.
What is a penny for?
To reserve a seat.
So it's not standby.
You have to book your flight the day before it actually takes off.
But you have to have some kind of payment so that they can reserve a seat.
Huh.
So you pay a penny, and I think it's usually like $15 in taxes.
So they fly a lot more out of DFW than they do out of Austin, so my plans on that one
have changed a little bit.
I might honestly just drive up to Dallas and then fly out from DFW.
They have...
I'd like to go to Denver.
I don't want to do the bigger cities, so like Chicago and New York City and stuff by myself.
Those aren't places that I think I would have fun solo.
You could fly up for a lunch resi at Casa Benita.
I do really want to go to Casa Benita.
Have you seen the documentary about it?
I didn't know it was out.
I thought it was just in the whatever film festival it got entered into.
No, it's on Prime, maybe.
But yeah, I think they bought it for south of 10 million, ended up dumping over 30 million
into it.
Yeah.
Okay.
But it's night and day.
Whenever they went in originally and they saw the work that needed to be done, it was
extensive.
But from everything that I've seen, everything I've heard, they did a real good job at building
it back up and making it one of a kind again.
Did you know that they had one in Tulsa that we've been to?
I did.
We talked to...
I think we talked to mom about that.
Yeah.
I don't remember much about it.
I remember that it was in a strip mall, it was right next to a Dollar General, which
this one is too.
And that's something that we were surprised by whenever we saw outside shots of the one
in Denver, is that it's just right there in a strip mall next to a pediatric dentist.
Do you think that dentist gets a lot more business now that it's been put on the map
by the...
What is the documentary called?
Casa Benita, Mia Moore, I think.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's double check.
That sounds right.
We really needed Jamie here.
Yeah.
Jamie, can you pull that up?
Maybe that's the next thing we need on the soundboard.
Jamie, can you pull that up?
Yeah.
Casa Benita, Mia Moore.
I'll definitely have to check that out.
And not only do you find out about everything that they did to bring Casa Benita back to
its glory, but then there's also a love story in there too.
Really?
Okay.
And it's not between Cartman and the divers?
No, it's between the lead construction foreman and the head chef.
Oh.
Yeah.
I don't know if they're still together, but as of the ending of that documentary, they
were.
All right.
I love a good randomly interjected love story.
So what having, because you've never traveled for work, right?
No.
What do you think the big differences are between traveling for work versus traveling
for fun?
So I was actually having a conversation about this the other day with a friend of mine who
is in Austin for work.
And you get to be in a place when you're there for work, you get to be in a place, but you
don't really get to enjoy that place.
Because a lot of times I think that, again, anecdotally, that you're just kind of always
moving because you're there for a purpose.
And so you have to spend all of your time just trying to go from kind of one thing to
the next instead of being able to actually enjoy the area around you and all of the kind
of new things.
You're just bouncing from one activity to another to try to be as productive as possible.
Yeah, I think I get pretty lucky with my schedule because I'm there for an extended period of
time.
I'm there for right now, two weeks at a time.
So I go out with my list of work that needs to be done and I'm able to spread it out over
those full two weeks.
And so that gives me a lot of downtime to do things that I wouldn't otherwise have been
able to do.
There's a lot of historical things, which I love, that I've been able to check out and
gotten a free ride there, free hotel, meals are paid for and all that stuff.
So all I have to do is set aside the time to actually go do this stuff.
There's been a couple of times where I felt a little, I lost my appreciation for it.
If you travel a lot, then it takes all the excitement out of it and it just becomes just
a routine.
And so even if you're somewhere new, like when was the last time this happened?
Probably Philly.
The first time I went, I was excited to go to the Liberty Bell.
Whenever I got there, Independence Hall was already closed, so I wasn't able to go there.
But then the second time, I wanted to make it a point to get to Independence Hall and
see where they sign the Declaration of Independence and all that stuff.
And I put it off.
I just kept putting it off.
And it was like maybe two days before I started, I headed back where I was like, I have to
do this.
And I don't really know why, other than the fact that it's a beating to do, especially
when you're in a big truck that you have to find parking for on the street and all this
other stuff.
And there's a lot of walking and any kind of big tourist area, you're going to run into
a lot of people.
And so I'm glad that I finally motivated myself to go do it at the end because it was great.
It was amazing.
But I feel like that's happening more and more.
And I don't want that to happen, which is why I want to try to start making efforts
to have trips for...
Just for your own kind of personal growth.
Yeah, just for myself and not on the clock.
I mean, it's great being paid to get there and to not have to rent a car, not have to
get a hotel room, not have to worry about food.
But it also, the longer you do it, the more you realize that you were there for a job
and that you have to do all this work.
And then the rest of the stuff just puts on the back burner until all of a sudden it's
time you got to head back.
So I definitely think there's pros and cons to both of them.
I think traveling for work extensively makes you less likely to want to travel other times.
But this year I want to make a concerted effort to do more traveling outside of work.
Do you have any kind of specific destinations in mind?
Not particularly.
I don't really want to fly anywhere.
So anywhere I go, it would probably have to be driving.
Being in the lower central United States, there's plenty of stuff, but a lot of the
stuff is stuff that I've already done.
Like I've been...
Like the Alamo kind of stuff?
Yeah, I've been around a lot of places in Florida, Boston, Philly.
One place I haven't been is Chicago, which I'm not sure that it's worth the hype.
There's a chance that I could be sent there for work.
So I think I might just wait to see if that happens.
I don't think I'm going to make any plans on my own to go to Chicago.
Another thing that comes with this is that when you're there for work, then you aren't
just seeing what they want you to see.
You're seeing everything outside of all the tourist spots.
You're seeing all the nitty-gritty of all these places.
Does that kind of ruin the magic?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
If you are in San Francisco or Oakland, you go to the...
My suggestion for you would be to plan on driving through San Francisco, either be going
up to Sacramento or go down to maybe San Jose.
That's a little nicer of an area or just keep shooting down south the coast or yeah.
Just follow the coast down and you'll start hitting LA and all the super touristy stuff.
I went to LA a couple of years ago and it was fun.
It was cool to do the Walk of Fame and Universal Studios and all that kind of stuff.
I think that was a one and done.
I don't know that I'd necessarily want to go back.
I'd like to see the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
It's real cool.
Honestly, that's one of the few things I'd like to do.
That and the Chinese theater with all the handprints and stuff.
One thing I didn't realize when I went to Hollywood Forever is that you hear about these
huge celebrity cemeteries, but there's so many of them.
If you hear about a famous grave and you hear that it's at one of these big cemeteries,
it could be 45 minutes away.
The Hollywood Forever, I don't remember.
I think there's multiple ones.
The one I went to has a gigantic mausoleum to Judy Garland that I got in there too late
to actually go see.
I was able to see it through the gates.
A bust where Burt Reynolds is buried.
A big bust with him with his mustache and his smoking and bandit hat.
Trevor Moore, who was there, I think that was maybe a year and a half to two years after
he died.
He literally just had a little plot that just had a little stake in the ground that said
Trevor Moore.
There was some stuff that people had left, but he didn't have an actual headstone or
anything like that.
Cecil B. DeMille.
I'm honestly pretty surprised that Trevor Moore is in Hollywood Forever.
I don't know that I have a concept of what gets you into a cemetery like that, because
the ones that you always hear about whenever you think of that is the giant mausoleum to
Judy Garland or the Ramones whole statue.
That was at this one too.
Or the Marilyn Monroe one where everyone kisses the grave.
Right next to Helena Hutchins.
Helena Hutchins, the woman that was no longer living due to the actions of Alec Baldwin.
She's right next to Joey Ramone.
And Chris Cornell.
All three of them right there.
But I think one thing that you notice whenever you go to one of these famous cemeteries is
that yeah, they have all these celebrities, these names you're going to recognize, but
there's also just people.
There's also just regular people there.
I don't want to know how much they spent to be there, but there's just families there
and names that you wouldn't recognize, names that you have no clue who they are.
Do you think that they're just non-film industry people or are they just behind the scenes,
not necessarily celebrities, but big producers or directors or whatever?
They might be related to people within the film industry.
It's almost impossible to throw a stone in LA and not hit somebody that has some connection
to film or TV.
But it's honestly not as expensive as I thought it would be.
To get buried in Hollywood forever, the prices range from $18,000 to $240,000.
$240,000?
The $18,000 is not as expensive as I thought it would be.
The $240,000 is very much what I thought it would be.
What's a normal plot in a regular cemetery?
I haven't looked into it because I'm going to do the earth-plodding thing and be cremated.
You're going to get turned into a tree scattered on the haunted mansion ride or pirates?
No.
I'm going to have myself put in an urn and then all three of my children will have to
do a custody agreement and they'll have to trade me off every six months.
They'll have to figure out who gets me for Christmas.
Nice change of pace.
Could they just put you in three separate urns?
No.
Spelt you into thirds in a King Solomon kind of way?
No.
What if one of them just gets wiener?
I have to be all together.
Would you want to be separated?
Yeah.
I'm going to be cremated and thrown off of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.
So they have to shut the whole thing down?
Correct.
Who's going to do that?
Wow.
All right.
I mean, I haven't heard a formal request yet.
So this is all news to me.
This is a contest as to who lives longer, I guess.
I guess so.
Jake Johnson took some of his dad's ashes and dumped them on a Wrigley field on the
pitcher's mound.
I have a love-hate relationship with a lot of the things that they do to memorialize
people when they've been cremated.
I, on one hand, really like the idea of jewelry because you get to keep that person with you
forever, but it's also so creepy that I have a ring that's made of my mom.
Or a locket of hair?
Okay, we'll not do that.
I would like the-
A tooth?
Horrifying.
Should I pick out 32 people that all have to take one of my teeth?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Something sounds more like you're going to haunt a person than they received one of your
teeth upon your death.
Would you want a front tooth, a canine, a molar?
I want a canine.
Okay.
Well, I'll mark you down.
I just have to find 31 more recipients.
Just send them out to random addresses.
I can do that, yeah.
I can make a whole like lore thing behind it.
That seems on brand for you.
You could be one of the great internet mysteries.
This tooth once belonged to me, now it belongs to you.
Take it in good health.
Or do like a flat Stanley.
Just have people take pictures of the places they take my teeth.
God, this is already taking a hell of a turn.
No, I'm calling it Pirates of the Caribbean ride.
I'm going to shut that thing down.
Okay.
All right.
Interesting you go with Pirates of the Caribbean and not Haunted Mansion.
Is that too on the nose?
The reason that people throw their ashes off of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is because
there's water or something, right?
I don't think it's based on the actual ride or anything like that.
Oh.
I don't know.
I think the one that like is known in Disney as the place where people scatter their loved
ones ashes is Pirates of the Caribbean.
Do you ever get splashed in the face by the water at Pirates of the Caribbean?
I don't think so.
Would your great grandma be inadvertently committing assault against somebody?
Because some of her particulate hits someone in the eyeball?
How often do they change the water in a ride like that?
I can't imagine that it's very often.
You know, I wonder, I don't even know how to look this up.
How many cremated people have been spread in Disney World?
Well, I mean, there's no way to look it up.
I'm sure they have like some rough estimate.
Because for every five they caught, there's a hundred they didn't.
Well, then I want to know what they're like confirmed is, because I feel like we could
make an educated guess on how many there actually are.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess so.
So I guess they would have to be caught on camera dumping something into the water.
I don't know.
So I mean, no one's ever died at Disney, hypothetically.
That's a lie.
Oh, absolutely it is.
That's a lie.
But no one's died at Disney, but there are still people that I'm sure very much haunt
Disney World because they've been spread there.
Yeah, yeah, maybe.
Maybe.
Do you think Walt's ghost is there?
No, because I don't think he has a ghost.
He's frozen in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride until they have a.
No, that's a joke that I don't want to make on this.
Until I have a what?
I'm going to make a joke for Judy.
Oh, my Lanta.
That one's getting cut out.
Whoa.
OK.
I guess we won't be getting sponsored by Moana three.
Yeah, that's the sponsor that you want is Moana three.
I don't know.
I mean, what Disney sponsor would you want?
Toy Story 19.
What is Toy Story 19?
Do you think his walker is alive?
Those poor tennis balls.
Maybe.
No, it's just Andy's great grandkids forcing him into a home.
I swear I saw him move.
OK, Grandpa.
OK, you're going to stay here now and we're going to leave.
Where's my Woody?
Grandpa, we had to take those pills away.
OK, you are being irresponsible with them.
From everything that I've heard, that is the entire point of getting put in a home.
Yeah, probably.
Just out of sight, out of mind until you die and we get all your cougarans.
What the hell is a cougaran?
Some fancy coin.
It's worth a lot of money.
I couldn't tell you.
I thought it was just a different word for tchotchke.
No, no, it's an actual thing.
It's pretty valuable.
So if you die, you are going to spread your teeth instead of your ashes.
That's the final verdict.
I'm going to spread my teeth.
I'm going to give a couple lockets of beard hair to those closest to me.
And then the rest of it, I'm going to be traveling the country.
Wherever little heathens decide to take me.
Sounds like a great plan.
I just got to find a lawyer that's willing to take on the custody enforcement.
I don't want to end up in some closet like on TikTok before it was taken away from us.
But that's for the next episode.
The woman who did pork chop, lamb chop.
She was moving out of the country, which she doesn't say why, but we can probably guess.
I think she said she was moving to Spain and she wanted to figure out what she was going
to do with her mom's ashes.
And I don't know if she ever came to a conclusion.
And you know what?
Now I won't know.
Now I won't know because I can't follow the story because it's not on TikTok anymore,
because TikTok doesn't exist anymore.
And I hate it.
I have reflexively tried to open TikTok three separate times this morning.
And for no reason.
I've been doing things all morning.
I was prepping for an episode today.
I did not need to be on TikTok, but I opened it three separate times and was sad all three
times.
And Xi Jinping is laughing in China right now.
It's just, it's so bizarre that if you open TikTok, the message that pops up talks about
how Trump is going to get it back for us.
What bizarre universe are we in right now?
Hey, Roseanne is rapping.
We're going to get TikTok back because of Trump.
What was the song?
I'm tired of this, Grandpa.
It's called Daddy's Home.
That's too damn bad.
And you know what?
You're not going to hear that sound clip anymore either because TikTok's gone.
If you think I'm going to stop quoting holes, you are sadly mistaken.
That is not a thing that is TikTok dependent.
That was a long walk away from our topic.
Visiting Hollywood.
I don't know that I'd want to go back to Hollywood for reasons other than the cemetery and Grohman's
Chinese theater.
What I would want to see in California is the Redwoods and San Diego.
I want to see the Redwoods.
It's a lot farther from San Francisco than I thought.
Yeah.
Because I had seen the cinematic masterpiece that is The Planet of the Apes with James
Franco.
And from my...
Cancelled.
From my remembrance of that movie, they go across the Golden Gate Bridge and then they're
just in the Redwoods.
And so I thought that's how the geography worked and it does not.
It's like over an hour and a half long drive, maybe two hours.
An hour and a half?
Yeah, to get to the Redwood Forest.
We did the same thing in Parks and Rec in the next to last season.
They take Ben Wyatt into their Redwood Forest and he's getting super excited because that's
where all the Ewoks were or whatever.
That's where they filmed the forests of Endor.
And then they go directly to the Golden Gate Bridge and that's how Leslie decides that
she's going to be a member of the Parks Service.
Exactly.
Media needs to be held accountable for these lies.
This is nonsense.
I will not accept this.
I did not realize that it was an hour and a half away.
It's something like that.
I was appalled.
Appalled.
I mean, 90 minutes is not...
Okay, I was way off.
San Francisco to Redwood National Park.
Five hours and 15 minutes.
Oh my God.
Which is even more egregious.
Five hours and 15 minutes.
Is it like super far north?
Yes.
Yeah, it's almost to...
To Oregon?
It's almost to Oregon, yeah.
Oh, okay.
I would still very much love to go to the Redwoods and see the Golden Gate Bridge in
apparently two separate trips because I'm not doing that drive.
We could start at the Redwoods and then drive down and make sure all the windows are up
and the doors are locked and then go through San Francisco.
And then shoot down to San Jose, go see the Winchester Mystery House.
Oh, I would love to see that too.
Which is, that's another thing that I really wanted to do but I just could not get myself
motivated to get there.
Because San Francisco to San Jose is a pretty short drive.
And yeah, I just...
I don't know what it was.
I really wanted to go.
Maybe I was too scared.
Maybe I didn't want to bring that Juju back with me.
That's fair.
It's like going into a Ouija board.
And then you just follow the coast down and you get to like Santa Barbara, Oxnard, LA,
Anaheim.
Go to Disneyland.
And then not too far from there, San Diego.
I went to the Disney Walk, the thing that's like just outside of the park.
And the people out there were...
Downtown Disney?
Sure.
So we went to the Universal, which might be the City Walk.
And then we did the Disney one, which is...
Did you say that in an Asian accent?
I will not.
Okay.
And then we went to the Disney version and the people out there were just the worst.
Which I think that's most of California.
Oh yeah.
They're just...
Yeah.
And then when I... the first time I went to LA, which I was... it was post-pandemic.
So it was like 20... maybe like mid 2020, 2021.
Somewhere around there.
One of the first interactions I had was...
I had one of those net gators that everyone decided were okay as a mask.
Well, not in California, apparently.
So I come in and I didn't have it on because Texas didn't care.
And I walk into the hotel to check in and, sir, you need a mask.
Okay.
Well, can I just check in real quick?
So I'm just going to go up to my room and then I will have no contact with people.
Sir, you need a mask.
And then I pulled mine up.
No, sir, sir, you need to leave, put on a mask, and then you may enter back in.
Like, oh, this is going to be a fun trip.
This is going to be real fun.
Yeah.
I had to walk out the door, pull it up off, like up from my neck, walk in like I'm a bank
robber from the 1870s.
And then I get my room and go up there.
And of course, I didn't see anyone on the way to my room.
And then I found out that they only give you...
Most hotels you go to, they say you want one or two cards.
They only give you one card per person.
So you use that card to get into your room.
And then there's a little slot next to the door that you have to put that card into in
order to get the electricity to work in the room.
What?
Yes.
So you have to leave that card in there in order to use anything in the room.
And then what you're supposed to do is supposed to take it out that way there's no electricity
being used when you're not in there.
And so what I did, being such a well-versed traveler, I just reached down my backpack,
found another card from a different hotel, stuffed it in there, and then went about my
day.
And then maybe a couple of days later, I ran into another incident at a Mexican restaurant
of a man berating me for not wearing a mask.
And those were tough times.
Tough times.
I would be very curious to know in this day and age, the people that still wear masks,
why?
That's not a judgment or anything.
I'm genuinely curious why people are still wearing masks.
Like what they think they're preventing.
Yes.
Yeah, I get that.
I don't have an answer for that.
Because I don't think it would be for COVID reasons.
It could be.
I mean, I don't know what the thought process is, but I've seen a lot of people still wearing
masks, especially down here.
It's still relatively prevalent.
It was just such a weird time in the world that you could not go into a bank unless your
face was completely covered.
They've come so far.
Crazy time to be alive.
And yet we're still so far away from being in a timeline that makes a shred of sense.
Oh, man.
I'm telling you guys, the Roseanne bar wrap, it broke me.
With Tom McDonald, check it out.
It is.
Full confirmation that we are in the darkest timeline right now.
She's got cornrows.
Oh, to be fair.
And then she also has a mullet.
And then they're in like a green and purple Lambo.
She tries to twerk.
McLaren.
She does.
Did you know that there exists some Maxim-esque photo shoots of Roseanne from her heyday?
No, I did not.
Yeah, I just found that out on Twitter a couple days ago.
So, oh, sorry.
Wow.
I didn't mean the dead name.
Oh, my bad.
And yeah, that's not information that I wanted to know, but I'm so glad that you brought
up Roseanne as soon as I walked in here.
That way I could impart that knowledge onto you.
I hate it.
Thank you.
Well, you're welcome.
It feels on brand with them making Martha Stewart a Sports Illustrated model at like
80.
Something like that, yeah.
Is it empowering?
I don't know.
I don't know what to think about anything anymore.
Yeah, nothing matters.
The internet has ruined me.
Nothing matters.
Everything's a joke.
Everything's made up and the points don't matter.
Whose line is it anyway has been telling us for decades now.
Where do you think is the best type of place to travel for fun?
No agenda.
It just, you just want to go there and not have to worry about the real world.
Mountains.
Mountains?
100%.
Okay, is that because you can disconnect fully and not have to worry about Instagram, Facebook,
people calling?
Yes.
Work?
So we talked about this one in the family vacations episode, but my absolute favorite
vacations that I've been on have all been like in remote areas.
So either like camping or sometime in the mountains or just kind of like cabin in the
woods kind of thing.
And it's because I, it's not only that I love being able to disconnect.
I absolutely do.
But it's also the ability to like not have to worry about being all this like go, go,
go.
Like your entire, the entire stress of the trip was you getting there and you getting
back.
So all of the time in between, you can literally just shut your brain off.
You just get to exist for a couple of days and it is the best feeling in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I completely understand that.
I don't know the last time when I was intentionally fully disengaged from everything.
But whenever, even when it happens on accident, you just, you feel this little bit of relief.
Hey, even if something were going on, I wouldn't know about it.
I went to Branson sometime last year and the drive up to Branson, like a giant stretch
of it was just like mountains and trees and it was great.
There was like nothing in Arkansas.
And then when we got to Branson, it was just Trump merch stores on Trump merch stores on
Trump merch stores.
It was insane.
And then we got to our like cabin and it was just this little like bubble, like none of
the rest of the city or whatever mattered.
I didn't have to interact with anyone.
I didn't want to.
Did you have internet?
We did.
Oh yeah.
Wifi or just all phone?
We had Wifi because it was a timeshare resort.
Oh, you fell for one of those?
Yeah, because the person that I went with was not going to get talked into a timeshare.
Yeah.
And he was successful?
It was genuinely a no pressure like sales presentation.
We talked for, they talked for like two hours and then we had to sit in an office and try
to get like directly sold to.
And they were like, how can we make this make sense?
I can't afford a place to actually live.
You think I'm going to afford a weekend Destin every year?
No.
You think that I'm going to take this free trip with the possibility of having to pay
thousands and thousands of dollars per year to a place that I'm going to visit maybe once
a year?
Yeah.
I could see where it makes like theoretical financial sense.
Like the sales pitch was solid.
It was never going to work because for one thing I have seen every TV show ever talk
about the sales pitch.
Even SpongeBob did a timeshare presentation.
But like it was never going to work.
But from a like objective standpoint, I think it was a really good sales pitch.
Okay.
Yeah.
We spent three hours of our three days, I think, in the timeshare presentation and then
we got to do nothing for the rest of our time.
It was great.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't know if I would be as strong willed for a timeshare presentation, but that's just
me.
That's why I'm not going to put myself in that situation.
So I mean, if you can handle it, then more power to you.
So I think the nail in the coffin, one of them, because there was no way we were going
to say yes anyway, but the final nail in the coffin was that they kept throwing math at
us and it was like wrong.
They were like, you'll get this many points and you can translate this many points to
this amount of things.
It's like that doesn't make sense.
That's funny.
For just a car payment every month.
Like, you think I have extra car payment money?
Because in the second seat, third season of White Lotus, that is the first thing that
they talk about is a family of timeshare people that are no, no.
Okay.
I'm getting it all mixed up.
No, this was a Simpsons episode that was parodying the White Lotus and it's all about getting
screwed over with a timeshare.
Check it out.
It's worth the watch.
It's the yellow Lotus in case you guys are curious.
I cannot wait for season three of White Lotus.
Yeah, I couldn't finish the second season.
I don't know.
I maybe watched like an episode and a half and just never went back to it.
The first season was way better than the second one, but I do also love Aubrey Plaza.
Yeah, I think that my preferred setting for a vacation that I'm taking on my own is probably
more beach than mountains.
I just like being able to go in the water and run the risk of being eaten by a shark.
I like that danger.
You're not going to get eaten by a shark in the mountains.
Mauled by a grizzly bear?
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Man versus bear.
But that's the thing.
Real time.
You're going to see the bear coming.
But the bear is going to be approaching you and you are going to know it.
With a shark, boom.
Just all of a sudden the fins there and then.
Okay, sure.
But what if you're just like sleeping in your tent?
Bear.
I guess, yeah, yeah.
Taking a shit in the woods.
Bear.
That's why you bury it.
Your focus is elsewhere.
That's why you bury it.
But also, if you're just out in the mountains, you can't just pee.
If you're in the Gulf of America, if you're in the GOA, as I like to call it, then you
might be eaten by a shark five minutes from now.
But you know what?
Right now, you can just lift the levees and just live your freest life just right there
in the water and you're surrounded by strangers.
People are getting this water in their mouths, in their ears, in their eyes, in their nose
and they're no wiser for it.
Sure, that's freer for you until you think of the fact that other people can also pee
in that water.
That's fine.
What do you mean that's fine?
That's fine.
You know why?
Because that's the human experience.
All of us just coming together.
That's why they call America the melting pot.
Everyone just coming together and everyone getting everyone's pee all over their face.
Which is why I support changing the name to the Gulf of America.
They don't call Mexico the melting pot.
They call it like the queso croc or something like that.
For the record, I do not endorse any part of this conversation.
But you can't live your life worrying about getting other people's pee in your eyes.
You absolutely can.
No, you can't.
If you spend your time worrying about that, then you're spending your time worrying about
all this stuff, all the negative things about life.
Okay, so I'm not actively worrying about getting other people's pee in my eyes.
Instead, I just opt for situations where I don't have to think about other people's
pee getting anywhere near me.
You're not living, man.
Sure, probably not.
That's fine with me.
And also for the record, you can pee in the woods.
Yeah, but you're not wearing clothes specifically designed to dry quickly.
And then you gotta shake it, ladies, you gotta wipe.
Whereas if you're just undulating in the water, you're just...
You just don't ever use that word.
You're just moving with the motion of the ocean.
You just drop it and just let the stream flow.
And do your part to make your mark on this world.
And then go back up to the beach and two seconds later you're dried off and you're ready for
margaritas.
You can't do that.
You can't do that in the...
Where are you gonna plug in the machine?
Where are you gonna plug in the margarita maker?
In the woods, in your tent.
What, you're gonna get a solar powered margarita?
You're being ridiculous right now.
I wasn't a parrot head before this conversation and I won't be one afterwards.
I'm sorry, Jimmy Buffett.
RIP.
Rest in paradise.
No, mountains.
All day, every day.
I'm just letting you know now you are wrong.
So as long as you can take that information, as long as you can handle that and maybe use
it moving forward to make yourself a better person in the future than I've done my job.
You know now that TikTok is temporarily gone, if we were to post this on Instagram, we could
make a poll.
Mountains or beaches.
We can make a poll on X.
No thank you.
Okay.
I mean you can.
We could, we could turn this into a YouTube short.
Oh this is true.
Can you vote on YouTube?
Yeah, you can make polls.
Alright.
Yeah.
I think there's also a lot of polls involved and OnlyFans do if they really wanted to branch
out.
Anyway, what else you got for traveling solo?
What do you look for?
Okay, so say you're in the mountains.
Is there anything specific about the mountains that you're looking for?
Like are you looking for lake access?
Are you looking for good campsites with hookups or anything like that?
Campsites with hookups?
On the same plane as the conversation we were just having.
If I can get it, I will opt for the thing with plumbing.
Okay.
But like, but like facilities, not like you're bringing like a camp or anything.
Yeah, no, I wouldn't, I don't think be an RV person.
Mostly because I don't ever want to drive an RV.
My depth perception sucks.
And so I don't trust myself with enormous vehicles that I think you should need a CDL
to be legally allowed to drive, but they just let like senior citizens drive.
It's the same with U-Hauls.
I think you should need a CDL to drive.
You should need something.
Yeah.
Something more than a wing and a prayer.
And that is why I did not drive my U-Haul here.
So hookups.
So that's that's all the only thing you're looking for.
Yeah.
The last place that we went camping, it had like porta potty kind of facilities, which
is not my favorite, but we were like right on the lake.
It was awesome.
So we got to be like directly on the water.
I think our actual campsite was like 10 feet from the actual like water line.
That was a low tide.
So I'm sure different parts of the year would be like right on the campsite.
Yeah, I think for me, one of the more prominent aspects I look for when I'm looking for somewhere
to vacation or whatever is one just in the vicinity of some sort of water, usually like
a beach, like I don't really like like lakes and stuff like that.
I like the endlessness of the Gulf or the want the call of the void.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
And we've talked about this before.
So you go to a Texas beach and it's garbage.
If you've been to a real beach, it is no fun and you're not going to have any fun there.
You can get in the water and be fine because that's just like being out in the big old
open ocean.
But I would definitely if I were to if I were looking for somewhere to go, it would be somewhere
like Destin or somewhere where they are known for their beaches and you get actual sand
and not just really.
I don't even know.
It's like a it's like a sand type clay that they have in Texas.
Yeah, it's not.
It's not sand.
I will say in the defense of like beaches versus mountains.
I don't know that I've been to I think I've been to like one beach that wasn't in Texas.
So like my my scope of going to the beach is not the most enjoyable thing because I understand
the Texas beaches are not the ones you generally opt to go for, but I've been camping in a
lot of places.
So like I have a lot more experience with the joys of camping.
I've mostly been to like Port Aransas or Galveston or Corpus Christi kind of beaches.
And the best.
Yeah I've been to I think the only California beach that I've been to like out of childhood
is Marina Del Rey.
I was there.
It was real gloomy.
It was cold as hell.
But I just want to say that I went to a California beach more recently.
We've been to the super nice beach and just outside of Tampa.
We went to Destin over the summer and then I mean altogether the like Miami and those
those beaches are worth making the trek out there.
But yeah I mean I would look for nice beaches.
Just a beach isn't going to be enough for me.
Like I will if we have like a three day weekend or something we'll go down to Galveston or
whatever but we're not going to it's not going to be like the big trip for the year just
to go down to Galveston because Galveston gets real old real quick.
Yeah far as Galveston from here.
From here what probably about four hours.
Three and a half.
All right.
I was looking at the the distance from here to Houston the other day because I wanted
to go to the other Meow Wolf.
And that's also it's longer than I thought it was.
I don't know why I thought that Austin and Houston were closer together but it's still
like three hours.
The only two I have left are Vegas and Houston.
But I've been to Santa Fe Denver and Great Line.
The last thing that I look for this one can be either if I'm with the kids or not is like
historical landmarks historical stuff.
So like if we're going to Galveston then we'll stop at the Sam Houston statue.
We'll stop at NASA.
We'll do something like that something educational something that they can actually learn from
and take with them into into their their day to day.
Those are the things I mostly look for.
I think if I'm traveling for work then one of the first things I'm going to do is I'm
going to start looking at maybe like fancier restaurants that I wouldn't go to in my normal
life because I would much rather blow a hundred dollars on a meal I didn't like if I'm not
footing the bill.
And I think that that's helped me really expand my palette and just find stuff that I wouldn't
have known about otherwise because I didn't want to run the risk on trying it.
So I think that that's a pretty substantial difference between traveling for fun and traveling
for work is that you're more.
The money flows a little freer when you're not paying for it.
You're not as concerned with it.
You're able to just not worry about that part and just focus on the stuff that you actually
do want.
Are you a light packer or a heavy packer?
I'm a light packer.
If I can take everything that I need in a backpack I absolutely will.
An overstuffed backpack or a reasonably stuffed backpack?
A reasonably stuffed backpack.
It does kind of depend on whether or not I can do laundry at the place that I'm at.
That makes sense.
So like I think my clothes honestly take up the bulk of whenever I travel because other
than that I really just need like toothbrush and toothpaste and maybe a face wash, shampoo,
conditioner, body wash, stuff like that.
Maybe some kind of entertainment, so a book or my laptop or whatever.
I am a heavy packer.
I'm not as heavy of a packer as the Mrs. because she'll bring like two suitcases for a weekend.
And my stuff will be in like one half of one suitcase but then she gets a suitcase and
a half.
And it's a little excessive but when I'm out of town for work I pack heavy as hell because...
You take like your PlayStation stuff for the hotel, right?
Yes.
I take my PlayStation stuff.
I bring a lot of this podcast equipment so that I can edit it while I'm just sitting
in a hotel room.
And that's another thing that comes with the traveling for fun or traveling for work is
that it's all well and good if you're traveling for work and then after work you're going
out and you're doing stuff.
But doing stuff costs your own money.
And so you can't be doing it every day.
I got the AMC A-list so I paid 20 bucks a month.
I can go see three movies.
But then they tried to upcharge you saying that, oh well it's only available in these
states.
Florida is like the middle tier and then the highest tier is where you get like New Jersey
and New York and all that stuff.
I'm not there very often but...
So I mean that's something that I do have available to me and it's not going to cost
me any extra money that I can spend a night doing.
But for the most part the time that I'm there I'm just in the hotel room.
And so I need this stuff to keep me occupied while I'm there.
And so whenever I travel for work I definitely travel a lot heavier than when I travel for
pleasure, fun.
It also kind of depends on the destination.
So like whenever we've gone camping I'll pack a little bit heavier on the activities.
So like I'll bring a couple of books.
I'll bring like a board game maybe stuff like that so that I don't have to be on my phone
as much.
It's stuff that like would technically take up more space but it's stuff that's going
to like keep me occupied.
Because I do spend a lot of time on my phone when I'm just like in my day to day.
But I don't want to be living the exact same way that I am once I'm in a campsite.
Like that's just not fun for me.
Yeah I get that and just trying to live your normal life but somewhere else.
Like I think that's one of the big differences between work and pleasure traveling is that
when you're doing it for yourself you don't want to just live your life somewhere else.
You're trying to escape that life.
So you're less worried about what you're missing at home and what needs to be done at home
or what you need to do to keep your home afloat.
Whereas if you're at work then you got your job and then you got to worry about all this
other stuff for work.
What do you think is the most expensive trip that you've ever taken?
Probably when I went to Denver.
It's been a couple of years since that particular trip but getting out there was fine.
It was I was with a friend of mine who like I'm a big like low budget like quarters kind
of person.
So like I could use a cheap motel so long as I don't get bed bugs and stuff like I really
don't care.
But I also recognize that that's not really a thing that works with most people and so
we did like an Airbnb we had a hotel in Denver and like all the activities and stuff because
we did stuff I think every day that we were there for five days.
That one definitely racked up the biggest bill.
Yeah I think the most expensive trip that I have ever that I've been a part of I don't
think I actually foot the bill.
We have we have I mean when you're traveling with kids everything gets so much more expensive
anyways but then you got we went to Tampa for a wedding a year and a half ago and the
flights we flew Spirit one way frontier the other.
So the flights weren't that big of a deal.
We stayed at a family member's house and then I mean for the most part it was relatively
cheap but I think that overall as far as money spent I was probably one of the more expensive
trips that I've taken recently.
We don't know what the cost was for anything that we took like as a family but I'm sure
those were those were pretty expensive comparatively to if you account for inflation.
I think on on that note there have definitely been trips that were more expensive that I
was on but I just didn't have really a concept of how much it actually cost because I wasn't
paying for a lot of stuff.
Yeah like I mean even if you're shooting down to San Antonio you got five hours of driving
so the gas that goes into that but then you have a hotel for three four nights and then
you got to get everyone into SeaWorld or whatever and then all the food that costs that come
with that and then I mean I'm sure those those are some pretty hefty price tags on those
trips that we took.
Is SeaWorld less expensive now that they've had to rebrand lose all of the oh yeah the
things that drove people to SeaWorld?
You are getting about a tenth of what you would have gotten so the price reflects that.
Okay in that case what is the cheapest vacation you've been on?
Cheapest I don't know if you really consider what do you what is the definition of a vacation
to you?
I would say if you've been away from your home for the purpose of like for the specific
purpose of traveling to somewhere.
Okay oh then definitely we have a casino the world's largest casino gambling for most slot
machines in one casino something like that anyways that I have been known to frequent
and I constantly get mailers and stuff so if we just feel like we really need to get
away then I can call them up and they set me up with a room and a pretty nice hotel
for two nights so all you have to pay for is like you have to put a deposit down and
then you pay taxes and so you end up paying like maybe 50 bucks for this whole thing and
I mean there's plenty of restaurants there there's plenty of stuff to keep you occupied
and it like I said it's a pretty nice hotel and it's two nights so you're not just going
up there sleeping and then coming back so you're going up there and then you're staying
the entire day and then you sleep there that night and then you just come back the day
after that and so I mean if you aren't going down to the casino floor you could bring do
they have I don't think they have fridges or anything you can bring cooler if you really
want to slum it yeah but I mean you could technically get away with this trip for just
50 bucks and you get a hotel and then you get to two nights and sometimes you can get
tickets to a show there they have some pretty big acts come through there yeah I've gone
to a couple of the shows you've gone to a couple of shows out there so I think that
would probably be if I were looking for the cheapest way to have a vacation that would
be the cheapest one that I could think of you prefer flying or driving so I think we
we went into this one on family vacations too I think so yeah it depends on the distance
yeah there is a like cap on the amount of time I'm willing to drive and it also depends
on if I'm splitting that drive so like I think my cap as far as driving is 12 hours so like
whenever whenever I went to Denver it was six and six so we switched off at Amarillo
if I was doing that myself I think my cap would be 10 because the drive that I made
from the drive that I made to Albuquerque was my cap it's after I after I made it to
Albuquerque I did not want to see my car I didn't want to be in the car but then after
you get to Albuquerque you could just take that same amount of time and then you could
be in LA did you think of that yeah but I also don't want to be in LA or now Albuquerque
again so I don't think I'll be making that particular 10-hour drive again yeah Albuquerque
is kind of run its course for me I would like to go to the balloon festival again at some
point yeah take your niece as a nephew that's fine they talk about it all the time are they
really about the balloon festival yeah okay even though it was a dud when we went they
still had a lot of fun okay yeah I think it would be a theoretically fun trip to make
again in all of the right context and that is all I will say on that matter you have
any plans for international travel I would love to make more space for international
travel I don't have any specific places necessarily that I'd love to go I'd love to go to Europe
and go to like Germany Italy Ireland but I don't have any specific plans for that right
now that's probably a further out kind of trip because that's something you have to
plan a lot in advance for and I am very easily stressed out by like the minutiae and so I
would have to like sit myself down and actually like think through all of the stuff for it
and I'm typically a low maintenance traveler and so I like the vacations that don't require
me to think of like currency exchange and the fact that none of my plugins will work
and all of that kind of stuff I would have a lot more interest in international travel
if it were safe to travel internationally to the places I want to go to where is that
well so one of the places that I'd love to go to would be Egypt okay I know not a good
bet right now or just just places like Jerusalem just places that are not safe to be at right
now and I don't think they'll ever be so I think that I'll probably have to just recognize
the fact that the only experiences I'm going to have of any of these places is just going
to be through pictures and videos and there might come a day where I feel like I am brave
enough to to tough that out but as of right now today is not that day I will say if I
was comfortable traveling to Egypt if I would really want to do there is to go to that pizza
hut because it's it's so interesting to me that like we think of the the pyramids as
just this big imposing thing in the middle of just the desert in the middle of absolutely
nowhere and you can see it from the window of a pizza hut and I think it would be so
interesting to see it from that perspective no definitely totally yeah and that's something
that I would like to do but like I said it's not anytime soon yeah one of my big bucket
list like international trips would be Japan Japan is the place that I'd like to go the
most I think what would it take to get you there just the money is that the only obstacle
yes it's just a very expensive trip so this is our call to action make sure you like follow
subscribe just so that she can go to Japan and I can hire enough bodyguards to be able
to safely go to Egypt and maybe Jerusalem that's what I'm manifesting in 2025 there
you go trip to Japan and if you listen to our last episode you'll know what I'm manifesting
yeah but that is true and on that note what else you got oh okay what do you think are
the most dangerous places to travel alone I think that this list that I got was definitely
centered around being a woman traveling alone I was about to say I think our lists are but
different link but I don't think I think that I would agree that it is probably also not
the best idea for a man to travel to these places alone are we speaking domestically
or just like worldwide worldwide none of these are I have a I have another list of worst
cities in the US but this is just countries and the US is not one of them
okay least safe I feel like there's a couple of contenders in South America mm-hmm like
I don't think Brazil's a necessarily good place to be no Brazil Argentina what do you
think is the number one worst for American citizens number one worst for American citizens
I would want to say Egypt or somewhere like Egypt adjacent I'll give you a hint it's a
lot closer to home Colombia no no no Mexico I mean Mexico
yeah everything I've heard about being on the I almost had reservations that's definitely
wrong being it like resorts and that you can't step outside of that resort at all it's probably
not a not a great place to travel yeah most most of the danger is cited because of cartel
violence obviously and human trafficking which again probably more female centered right
but I mean I would assume that there's a market for for male traffic victims I don't know
and I'm sure there is is it it's not trafficking if you're like just held for ransom is it
why is that trafficking well I think in that situation it would be like mules mm-hmm yeah
I even think about that aspect of it I think you get a 50-50 of what you're useful for
in that situation yeah I mean yeah second one that I found most prominently was South
Africa really yeah yeah the home to home of Elon Musk I think because there's still a
lot of a lot of residual hate between the citizens and like for a couple years you've
heard about all these like South African farmers that are just being murdered by upset people
in their community so I definitely think that that is a probably another one you want to
steer clear of I didn't have any intention to visit South Africa but noted Turkey also
popped up a lot and really just anywhere in the Middle East as an American citizen I think
you should probably just steer clear unless you definitely know what you're doing there
was a so the school that I went to had a lot of like Turkish influence and so they would
do a trip every year for the like sophomores to the seniors to Turkey and the reason that
that trip worked and that that would have been I think the only reason I would ever
visit Turkey was because that trip was led by people that were from Turkey yeah so it
was a you were never gonna run the risk of being like in any danger because they could
navigate in a lot better of a way than just like straight American would yeah and I think
that would have to take a lot of a lot of trust for me to meet somebody like say I meet
someone from Egypt for them to me to feel comfortable enough to have them guide me through
their country I'd love to see it but it's there's just so much unknown and all that
that it's honestly just not worth it right now yeah what do you think the safest places
for Americans to travel is I feel like man that's tough Canada Greece maybe Greece yeah
that made the list I think Greece would be up there because they're because of their
their kind of economic situation I think they're a lot kinder to Americans because they're
desperate for it yes yeah I know a lot of Europeans are not fond of the Americans but
not necessarily in like an unsafe way just the same way that like Texans don't like Californians
yes yes that is very true Spagna was actually top of the top of multiple lists I believe
that on on places that were safest for Americans to travel to there's also Australia which
makes a lot of sense the danger of Australia is not the Australian people it's animals
that are actively trying to kill you I saw the size of a kangaroo the other day like
up close and personal wasn't one of the jacked ones yeah it was like yeah it was like a deer
on steroids it's terrifying yeah and there's there's dude there's videos of dudes fist
fighting these guys fist fighting kangaroos which is just the most deeply Australian thing
I can think of you turn a fist fight a kangaroo especially because one kick and your whole
chest is caving in and then last one that popped up pretty frequently which I kind of
have a problem with because you're not going to run into many people so unless you have
like a beef with sheep then you're probably not going to be in too much danger yeah but
the home of Lord of the Rings I was going to say New Zealand New Zealand Australia nope
popped up on every list that I looked at as the safest for Americans to travel to and
I think that that's because there's a lot of Lord of the Rings tourism that goes on
there so they they really have to be very kind to the hand that is feeding them yeah
and to finish this all off worst cities in the US Chicago Boston New York City you said
Boston or Austin considering I just moved to one of those I'm gonna hope it's Boston
actually none of those crack the top five Detroit yes mm-hmm I'm so surprised that Chicago
is not on that I am too I think I think this is like I think it's a PR move I think Illinois
is paying all these people to say hey maybe don't yeah tell everyone how terrible Chicago
is okay so if it's not Chicago Boston and New York City DC okay think think of San Francisco
San Francisco yep and slash Oakland because they're pretty much the same area and I was
going back to my San Francisco trip I was just so shocked by the amount of broken down
RVs that are just parked on the side of every single street throughout Oakland and most
of most of San Francisco like you're not gonna see it downtown but once you start getting
to the outskirts it's just they're everywhere I wonder how much it cost actually like live
in an RV if it has like you know power and these don't have power well yeah but I mean
generally most of them don't even have wheels so they're technically mobile homes technically
trailers I guess but with no power running water just on the side of the street okay
so yeah I don't know how much that would cost but I'm I'm pretty sure that it's a lot more
expensive than you think being in San Francisco sure yeah okay what if I told you Bourbon
Street oh yeah New Orleans makes sense New Orleans came up top of the list on a lot of
them as far as just places that were not somewhere that you wanted to be I could not tell you
how far down the list that would be for places I would be willing to travel by myself oh
I wouldn't want to go I would not ever do that trip not in a group of people no next
one Philly oh I totally forgot about Philly that makes sense Philly is a very and again
it's like you stay around the touristy places then you're going to be fine you're going
to have all the securities that you need but once you start getting outside of Philly Kensington
and all these other places is that Boston whatever they have all these neighborhoods
that everyone's supposed to know but anyways Philly and you'll just they have these row
houses so it's just houses that are really long like from front to back but they're just
very narrow and they're just one two three four five six seven nine like they're all
in a row that's why they call row houses and you'll just see people just strung out on
porches actively shooting up which I'm not saying you're not going to find that in other
cities but I am saying that this is the first time that I've experienced that firsthand
and just seeing people so brazenly just shooting heroin up on the street yeah and last one
on this list that cracked the top five good old El Paso do people travel to El Paso on
purpose is that a destination for anyone I don't think so there are a lot of nice things
about El Paso I mean you're in the desert so you have that kind of climate you're close
ish to mountains you can see Mexico not a part of Mexico that you want to be in but
you can see it yeah I don't know I mean but again that ties into all the the violence
with Mexico and cartels and and trafficking and all that stuff I think that's why that
was one of the more prominently ones listed but as far as this episode goes I think that's
all I got for you all right do you have any words of wisdom to impart on the audience
don't wait until it's too late to travel don't put it off if you want to do it do it okay
like the wise words of Shia LaBeouf do it just do it and my my final thought is if your
vacation involves you ever considering how much pee you're going to get in your general
orifices maybe maybe take a sec orify I believe is the proper sure plural if any part of your
vacation involves you getting pee in your orify maybe maybe sit down maybe maybe think
about your all the things that led you here and hey if that doesn't bother you at the
end of your little your thinking session more power to you man just just give it a sec and
you are entitled to your opinion and with that we'll see you next time