Yo.
I like to welcome everybody back to a brand new episode of The Cognitive's The Large
Cognitive's.
I am your host, Quentin Gold.
A French family, they call me QG2 short.
And if you feel like that's what we be coming to, you can call me QG2.
So, today's episode is a little bit different than normal.
Just to give a little insight on my recording process, I typically record on like a Sunday
and I post my podcast on Wednesdays.
But today is actually Christmas and it happened to fall on a Wednesday.
So, it's kind of live, kind of sort of.
I mean, cause you're still here, well shit, you're here today.
But, you know, what's it been Christmas?
The past week has been, you know, just the hustle and bustle, just running around, trying
to make sure I get everybody gifts and, you know, still taking care of like personal shit
in between all of that.
Like going to the mall is, I mean, I guess it always been that way.
Cause like, you know, shopping and all that type of shit, but maybe I was just not paying
attention to it.
But I've never seen the malls as packed as I saw over this past weekend.
Yo, on some shit, look, so I go to Towson Mall, Towson Town Center, what everyone calls
myself.
So, those was not from like Baltimore.
Like Towson is like a northeast Baltimore County.
Like, so it's kind of like, suburb is kind of sort of, but it's such a close proximity
to the city.
Like most people don't even view Towson like the county.
I mean, maybe some of you, but I don't know.
It's like right there on the east side pretty much.
But long story short, I go to Towson.
This was Saturday.
No.
I go Sunday.
It's fucking jammed.
Hey, when I tell you no pocket spots, none.
I kid you not, it took me 30 minutes to find a pocket spot.
And I just, as I'm like turning the corner, I call just having to be pulling off.
Like enough to zip up, you know what I mean?
Parallel park, getting the spot, good money.
Then I actually hit the mall.
And Sanita.
I'm talking that shit like Times Square in the 80s and something like, it's shoulder
to shoulder people bumping each other.
Like, I was like, damn man, like for it to be like inflation and all this other shit,
you know, people complain about as far as like finances, like on media and all that
shit.
I couldn't tell about that mall.
It seemed like everybody who was ever alive in this city was in that fucking mall and
they all had money to spend.
I'm talking lines out the door.
But I was strategic enough to, for the most part, get everybody's gifts that I'm giving
gifts like a few weeks ago.
So this is more or less like less little mini stuff of I wanted to give you something extra
one of the finest stuff for myself.
And I'm talking sneaky store, lines out the door, jewelry stores, lines out the door,
clothing stores, lines out the door.
Like it was crazy.
So I stayed in the mall for probably about an hour.
I got a couple things and shit.
And then I make my way back to the car.
So as I'm coming out, I'm approaching the car.
The lady that's like double parking.
And she got like, when she see me hit the alarm on my car, I looked at her.
She looked at me.
We both acknowledged like the head nod like, all right, this is where I'm going to pull
out.
You can have my spot basically.
So walk over, I get in the car.
So as I'm starting to come up, this car with this like, I couldn't tell what it's ethnicity
was.
And he tried to swerve in between where I was parked and where she was waiting to make
the turn into my parking spot.
And he just stayed there.
So because he was going to try to take the spot.
So the lady, she gets out the car.
She goes over to his car and goes, Hey, man, I'm about to take that spot.
I don't know what the guy says back to her or whatever.
So she gets back in the car and then this thing could try to inch up.
She puts her shit in reverse at this weird ass angle and blocks him up.
But at the same time, she blocks me up.
Like she's completely in front of my car.
I cannot pull up.
So I'm sitting there.
Frustrated the shot.
I say technically I ain't had no way to be.
So, you know, I'm like, all right, I'm going to chill.
Sitting there five minutes, turn to 10, 10 minutes, turn to 15 fucking minutes.
And then she finally gets up the car.
I guess out of frustration, whatever she was drinking.
Fucking slushy or whatever.
She just walks up to his car and just throws the whole shit on his windshield.
So then he hops out.
And when I'm assuming this is his daughter hops out, so the dude's like, you know,
he's about to get in the face.
So they cussing or whatever.
And like, he started walking towards her like a threatened man and shit.
So I'm not about to sit there and watch like no grown ass, no woman.
And she was black, just a black woman.
I don't know what the fuck he was, but whatever he was, he wasn't going to hit her in front of me.
But before I could even react, a couple of young niggas coming out tomorrow,
I guess they peep the same shit.
They ran over and they told him like, you touch him, bro, we gon fuck you up out here.
You know what I mean?
So the dude said something back.
One of the young niggas like smack him.
So now I'm thinking they about to pat this nigga out.
So then the daughter gets out the passenger seat and I guess she's trying to explain to them what's happening.
And then the lady with you to slush you.
Who was a grown ass woman, by the way?
And this girl probably was maybe 15, 16.
I don't know.
She punched the shit out of the girl.
She rocked her.
So then dad, he just tells the door to get back in the car.
And then he gets in the car and then he backs up all while.
Then he rams the back of the ladies car, who was initially trying to get the parking spot.
And then he backs up again and then he swerves out like crazy.
So then the lady, she jumps in the car and like goes slime behind him.
And then I just pulled out and then some random Chinese guy like pulled into the spot.
They did all that shit and even one of them got the spot.
It was crazy.
Like the holidays really make people act nuts man.
Like, so I just watched that shit like that's interesting.
Know what about my dad?
So staying on thing with you know, Christmas and seeing that today is Christmas.
I'm up early man.
Everybody in the house goes stupid shit.
Like I'm up early doing that shit.
Because I got a stinking sense.
But like, I don't know.
Now that I'm older, I've been watching, I've been going back watching like you know Christmas movies.
And I've been trying to figure out what's my top five Christmas movies of all times.
And you know, the movies don't necessarily have to be Christmas themed.
But maybe like in the background, you can tell that this Christmas like die hard.
Like you know, it's an action thriller about this, you know, John McLean, Bruce Willis Carrington
trying to like stop some international type of criminal terrorist or some shit.
But it just happened to be Christmas time when it's happening.
So I count those as well as being Christmas movies.
Because you know, whatever's happening in the movie is you know, supposedly happening around the holidays type of shit.
So my top five is the first Home Alone.
Which in my opinion is probably the only good Home Alone.
The second one was cool. Anything past the second I don't watch.
So I'm going Home Alone.
I'm going Bad Santa.
I'm going Friday after next.
Yeah, that's the one where the security guards and that's where some of the military crews and cat williams is in there.
It's Money Mate.
And Home Alone, Bad Santa.
Friday after next.
The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Fire.
And then for my last, I probably go with, it's a movie called Jack Frost.
And it's a lot of good ones I'm leaving out, but I'm going to stick with what I got.
So Jack Frost, for those who haven't seen it.
It's about this kid.
Well really it's about the dead.
But I guess the mom and dad got a divorce and the guy had a son.
And he's on his way to go see the son.
And he happens to get into a car crash and he dies.
And then his spirit possesses a fucking snowman.
And then, you know, he's like convinces the son that, hey, it's me, I'm your dad.
So they hanging out and all that shit.
But eventually, snow melts.
You know what I'm saying?
So like, you know, it's this big build up and then, you know, he's melting or whatever.
Because it's starting to get warm this past holiday.
So he tells the kid, I'll come back every year to see you.
And then the movie goes off.
Now that I'm older and I'm like rewatching a lot of this shit.
Yo, he's think, yo, it's a lot of fucking details in this movie that I never paid attention to as a kid.
Like, but the jack for all shit.
This is a grim fucking story.
Like it's about a parent died right before Christmas.
And now the dad is possessing a fucking snowman.
Even a sudden life advice and shit.
It's just like, now let's say they wanted to make that movie in this day and age with global warming and shit.
At least where I live, it really don't snow like that.
So I do you got to possess like decorations now or how to fuck you that word.
But it's a pretty grim movie.
They could print by pretty much immediately as the studs.
Like, and that's getting to some holiday hodging sector this like this.
Or like when you really think about the first home alone.
Which side note the actual house that they filmed home alone in.
Well, some of it because a lot of it was like built off built on like a movie stage type of shit.
So.
But anyway, the actual house to be got like the pictures of the outside from and all that type of shit.
Yeah, the house is on sale in Chicago or the suburbs in Chicago for five point two million dollars.
Currently, but the house is fucking incredible.
Like an entire basement has like a fucking full basketball court movie theater.
Some other shit is like, God damn, like.
That's just crazy.
It's a beautiful house.
If I had the money, I would definitely purchase it.
But now when you go back and you look at the first home alone.
It's like, bro, you got Kevin, his brother, his sister, the mom, the dad, the uncle, the aunt and a bunch of cousins.
And the dad.
You know, Macaulay Culkin's character, Kevin, his father.
Not only could afford that big fucking house, but he paid for everybody's first class tickets to Paris for the holidays.
Bro, that's round trip flights for over 10 people.
First class flights of that.
Then paying for everybody's hotels and then whatever activities they're going to do once they get there.
What the fuck did he do for a living?
What did he do for a living?
Now, granted, it's the early 90s and shit wasn't as expensive as still.
Even though shit wasn't as expensive, people wasn't making as much as they're currently making now.
So like the cost of living and, you know, which salary might have been like more or less like balance yourself out.
You know, generally type shit, but what the fuck did he do for a living?
That's insane.
And now that I'm older and I got a mortgage and all that type of shit, I look at shit from like that, like perspective.
Like, bro, I couldn't pay for fucking five people to go two states away, let alone outside of the country.
And pay for everybody's hotels and fucking flights back and like, are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
I'm packing cigarettes while I live at this fucking $16 $15.
And as much as I love it, like, but this is fantasy is one of the support shit.
It's two hardened criminals whose professionals at breaking in the house, they do it so much that they actually have a fucking nickname.
They have a calling card.
The niggas will flood the house.
Like that's how they they so good at doing it.
They purposely go to pull these clues.
You mean to tell me this fucking eight year old kid or whoever the fuck he was.
I have a old he was outsmarted to fucking professional criminals.
What?
Yo, you know how quick the real home alone would be over with.
Within 30 minutes, they would have broken.
Surely with a piss itself, if he was smart, he would have hid and just let them take shit.
But if he decides, I'm going to take back the house.
They would have just tied them up or worse.
But now there's the new like Christmas type of theme moves and shit.
I feel like they all got like the same heart as the as the old ones.
You know, I mean, like there's an action Christmas movie right now called, I think, Red One.
And it starts like J.K. Rowland's who's like.
Same as voice actor famous actor general, but he's most known as like J. Jonah Jameson and the Spider-Man movies or whatever.
All he does the voice of Omni Man and the new series on Prime called invincible, whatever by Robert Kirkman.
Same guy with me walking it.
Sorry for that. No, but they got that guy. He's playing Santa Claus. It has the rock in it. It has fucking Chris Evans who plays Captain America.
All this other shit. So the study cast.
And it's like it's big as CGI polar bear.
And I think Santa Claus gets kidnapped to some shit.
So the rock and basically Captain America and CGI polar bear.
You got to go find this nigga and bring him back.
Then it's another one called violent nights, which is a play on silent nights where like, you know, Santa's going around giving out gifts, but he gets to this mansion and he's like fucking.
I don't know the Russian celebrity where but they try to like still go that some some person is keeping in that house and shit.
And the person got kids. But when Santa shows up, like they shoot Santa, but he doesn't die.
And then Santa pretty much turns to the hit man for the rest of the movie and he's killing niggas with candy kings and hanging over Christmas lights and shit.
And no time he's on the walk and talk with the kid who still believes in Santa.
And then the big mob guys just like, who was this guy in the red suit? We got to kill this guy. This is like, yeah, I think it's like Santa Claus.
That's pretty much like the movie basically is the Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen mixed with John Wick and you get violent nights.
This shit is crazy.
And for people who's of like a certain, you know, belief, this was be like the birth data like your savior.
And they always, you know, CGI polar bears and candy cane murders and shit.
It's just a money grab shit.
Like, yeah, after after Halloween was over, you go to like Walmart to talk to some shit. Soon as the day after Halloween was over, it's Christmas shit everywhere.
There's a holiday in between those two holidays. F.I.I. totally skip that one.
You know, I'm just like supposed to be, you know, thankful and getting together and, you know, having dinner and being a family and all that shit.
But I think the word got out to too many people that like, you know, the pilgrims gave the native smallpox and pretty much like 20s niggas.
So we go have like a little cookout and then kill all the niggas type of shit.
And Pocahontas was like 14 and John Smith was like fucking 30.
Nobody ever talks about that.
It might sound like the image of how.
Anyways, so since Halloween is done nowadays is Christmas automatically.
So that's the thing.
This is one big commercial for, you know, you got to get into the Christmas spirit.
Yeah. All right.
They go back to the movies and all that shit.
So a little little TMI shit.
So in my basement, I have a big CV is like an 80 inch 75 inch 80 inch some shit like that, but it's on the wall.
I was having a full bathroom in my basement.
So when you turn the TV on, you know, it's a smart TV.
And if you don't, if you don't hit the button right away, it'll like, I guess go into like a sleep mode type of thing.
But then sometimes it'll randomly just start playing like a channel or whatever.
So I'm sitting there in my house by myself, you know, doing my business.
I'm like reading articles on my phone, smoking a cigarette and shit.
No, I'm not here like two people are.
So I go, what the fuck is that?
That's when the door open and the TV had like started like automatically playing on the zone.
And it was like some kind of hallmark movie.
But they were cursing a lot in it.
It was one of the worst moves ever.
So and it was like a tower perry movie and it's called like Christmas wet and some shit like that.
And the main character guy, he's like an author or whatever.
So he's writing this book and he has a best friend who's like a female.
And at first I thought it was like some kind of sexual tension between them type of shit.
But then I don't know where it was the third friend of theirs who I guess was he moved away and he came back.
And then he was giving like super rapey vibes towards the lady.
Like she's like, I think I'm gonna go home because I'm going to walk.
She goes, no, I'm fine.
He goes, I insist.
But how he said it was creepy as shit.
And then the author guy, he had like this fiancee and naturally her and her best friend don't like each other.
Because the best friend thinks she's a gold digger.
And then the fiancee thinks that the best friend got a crush on the nigga or whatever.
So they all live in hanging out.
And I guess they got too late.
The fiancee came out and was like, y'all need to leave.
So the boyfriend niggas like, yeah, I'm getting tired.
So the rapey best friend nigga walks to female best friend to her house like three doors down the way out of the fuck.
And they have this awkward like little thing in the doorway.
And then she kissed him on the cheek.
So I was like, all right, well maybe she's getting this nigga some rhythm.
I don't know.
But his vibe seems like it was rapey as shit.
So then when he comes back, he comes in the bed with the fiancee and she got her back turned.
And he goes, I'm sorry about tonight baby.
I'll make it up to you.
This niggas like half sleep.
So she goes, you know, you can make it up.
How's that some of the worst act of never she goes, I want to have a Christmas wet.
And he goes, yeah, whatever you want to do.
So then he goes to sleep.
And then the camera zooms in on a lady's face.
She's smiling like the Grinch.
It's way to shit.
So then he wakes up the next morning.
And you know, naturally goes, oh man, I don't know what happened last night.
I was so drunk.
So when he came out there, the fiance lady is out there with a wedding planner and the shy assistant who you can tell is actually like a baddie.
But they making a way like a bar in a super thick glasses.
You gotta receive it.
So he goes, what's going on?
So the lady goes like, well, you remember last night you said we gave a Christmas wedding.
Then he looks at the camera go, but Christmas is in two days.
And then the wedding planner is like this heavy set lady and she's like overly acting and shit.
Like, I don't even know if I'm explaining it right.
But it's just like she actually like brags from the Jamie Foxx show is that trying to be real type of like, anyways.
So he just squashes and he's like, OK, well, that's what I said.
You're going to get married.
So then like my daughter just just had no like smoking a cigarette and shit.
But now I'm kind of like enthralled into the story, even though this is some of the worst fucking acting I've ever saw in my life.
So then there's one part where the best friend had like a locker house.
So she comes to your house and use the code to get like her spag key, which happened to be in his top drawer in his bedroom.
But so she is rummaging through the fucking drawer to get the key.
The rapey nigga comes out of the master bedroom's bathroom and just tell you, can I help you find something?
So then she turns around goes, oh, maybe you can.
And then this tail drop now show none.
And that's when like the best friend walks and like, hey, what's going on in here?
And then the fiancee comes in there like, oh, hell no, not up in my house.
And the best friend is like, I was just getting the key.
I'm on my way out.
So she walks out.
So she honestly goes not so fast and follow up behind and shit.
And then they get to arguing.
And then literally two seconds later, the nigga was just completely new to the beer and comes out fully dressed.
And then that's when the best friend accused the fiance of being a gold digger.
And then the wedding planner shows up randomly with the secret pretty girl and shit.
And like, she just walked in the house to my shoe on the notice of two days.
And then the fucking, I guess the author guy, the main curtain, the guy, his agent comes in, he sees the wedding plan.
He goes, damn, this lady look like shit.
But he goes, damn.
And he tells the nigga that like, man, we got a file to Atlanta tomorrow so you can get this $100,000 advance for your book.
And then you go, but the witness tomorrow.
So then the gold digger fiance goes, well, look, if you go in the morning, you can make it back.
Because we having a wedding night, which is a new fucking detail they never mentioned.
So they having a wedding at Christmas Eve at 11 o'clock at night.
So by the time the wedding is done, it's Christmas morning and she's just guess.
So then she starts saying to herself like, yeah, because we got to write this book.
So that's when the best friends like, we, that's when like the fiance goes, hey, look, look, she's my fiance.
You know what I'm saying?
If you're going to be my best friend, y'all got to get along.
And then I don't know what happens after that because I turned it off.
But then like a day later, I was like, damn, I wonder what happened at the end of that movie.
Anyways, I'm not here for a long time.
It's a good time.
So and it's Christmas and I think people starting to wake up and shit.
And I got a bunch of shit to do that.
I got a bunch of riding around to be on that.
But whoever's here in this, I hope you'd be safe, peaceful, productive, positive, whatever girl you chasing.
I hope you get one step closer if not achieving it all, all at once in a happy holidays.
Merry Christmas, Merry Ex-Mess, Merry Pwanza fucking.
I don't know, whatever you, whatever, happy new year, whatever, whatever you into.
I wish you had the best version of that.
So this is probably going to be my rawest episode.
Like I'm not editing none of this shit.
I'm just like, as soon as it's done, I'm going to bounce it down and I'm going to upload it.
So I guess you can kind of say this is like my first live episode.
And it's like the, it's the cognitive collage Christmas extravaganza.
I don't know what to say.
I'm absolutely, I'm being honest.
But anyways, I'm about to go stay and see what the fuck Santa got me.
Probably just some bills, but we'll see.
If you agree with anything I said or disagree, or I didn't really talk about much today, but talk it.
Yo, hit me up on Instagram at QG Music, that's QGMUSIC on Instagram.
And yeah, peace.