Yo, we back.
This is Clint Doulton, Fuji for short, and I'm your esteemed host for what is the cognitive
of the large podcast. And this is episode four. Hope everybody had a good week. Hope everything
played out in your favor. It's getting redundant at this point, but I gotta say it, man. Like,
had me a good week again. I've been stacking just good weeks, good days, good moments. And I
think a lot of that comes from, I guess I could say like a new family mindset.
Lately, man, I just, I just been picking intelligence over emotion. And I mean, I've been
more, more cognitive, no pun intended, of how I and the actual people, the things that I say, how
I respond to things, even down to like mannerisms and facial expressions. Because like, sometimes,
as a person say, dude, some shit that I don't necessarily agree with, it's hard for me. Like
the hotter, like my nostrils might slay, I might bunch my eyebrows, I might just give you this blank,
nonshu long look. But I say all that to say, I haven't been experiencing any of that. Probably
well over a month now. And I think my new mindset is probably the reason why I got this podcast
started. Because I've been talking about doing it for a long time, because obviously I'm a fan of
the genre. This podcast in the genre, I mean, I guess so, it has its own, its own category, if
you go into like streaming sites, you can get so I'll call it a genre or a category or whatever.
But I used to always make excuses of why I couldn't start it. And I mean, I would just put it off,
like, I'm too busy, I work too much. I'm doing stuff in the studio too much, I need to be too
much, I write too much, I got family sick on it. I would just always find a reason not to do this
thing. And I love it. I absolutely love it. And with that being said, I believe, I don't know if I
said it already, but again, whoever's listening, I hope you guys had a great weekend. I hope you
have a chance to listen to, or I hope you're a new listener, man, like, we trying to grow over here,
you know, can be a part of this family. So I want to start this podcast with
James Amos recently passed. And if you guys aren't familiar with James Amos, if I'm saying his name
correctly, he was the father from the old sitcom Good Times. It was Florida Avenge and Jimmy Walker,
and I know Florida Avenge isn't her real name, it's the character name, but he recently passed,
and I want to say like a week before that, like James Earl Jones passed. And I can't say that either
one of part of my generation, but growing up, I mean, I would watch reruns of Good Times,
and if I'm being honest, I should be scared of James Earl in Good Times. He just seemed mean as
shit. But like as I watched it, you know, recently, now I'm older, it's like, damn, James is just trying to fucking
best. We're in the projects, three babies, your fucking life got a haircut like a microphone,
and that nigga was making the work. And then I remember when they like, they wrote them off the
show. I forgot it was like some behind the scenes real life shit, I guess they were going in a
direction he didn't agree with. They wouldn't be a part of it. So I remember when the new season
started, but not that I remember, but when I watched like the new season without him, like,
they just said that this nigga took a job in Alaska some shit and died on the job. And that's
where you get the famous down, down, down, this from that episode. And then, like I said, James Earl
Jones recently passed. And that's the voice of Star Wars. He's the father from coming to America.
He's the voice of Mustafa and Lion King. Like he played an integral role into my childhood,
whether I knew it or not. And, you know, he was well into, I want to say, late, late 80s or early 90s,
but he lived a full life. And obviously he was impacted. I'm speaking to him right now. And I
got to think like, you know, because we all have our number that's going to be punched at some point.
It's like what legacy? You know, saying like what impact will I have on the people around me?
Because I'm not even thinking about what level of impact I would have like on a nationwide scale
or worldwide scale. Like if I'm being honest with myself, I don't think I'll ever reach that level
of popularity or significance in the grand scheme of things to where like somebody in a small town
like Iowa would be aware that I passed. But then again, you never know, man. Life is unpredictable.
Which is kind of one of the best parts about life. Like I said, the fact that I'm even doing this
podcast right now is like speaks to the unpredictability of life. Because like I said, I would always
just make excuses not to do it. No, I'm doing that shit. And I'm loving it. And I've been getting
good receptions, man. Like I was checking like my analytics and I didn't got listeners from San
Francisco, from Atlanta, from different parts of Virginia, from New York, from Connecticut, from Texas.
I even seen one from the United Kingdom. And I was like, who the fuck is listening to me in the UK?
Could have been a bot, if I'm just being honest. But I don't know, because I ain't even paying for
no box and no shit like that. My numbers are my numbers. And they're not like some grand numbers
or some shit like that. Not enough to get sponsorship. We need to get started. I'm talking
notifies man. But at the same time, I'm grateful for a nine to five because there's a bunch of people
who don't have it. And if they do have them, it's not one to where they can, you know, probably provide
for themselves, let it on that family. Speaking of the dock workers nationwide recently, like had a
strike. And I think the strike was based on, you know, having like robotic, robotic equipment,
like for the loads and, you know, move around the shipments and all that type of stuff. So they
went on strike. And the way the news made the same, which did have the potential to become this way
but they made it seem like this shit might be the end of the world. I need to run out right now,
get everything off the shelves. Because once it's done, it's gone. And then like, that should last
for about three days for this. And then they came to some level of agreement. I don't know all the
particulars, but I know they was going from making, I think $38 an hour. And now they're about to start
making $63. I'm about to be a dock worker. Fuck that. And I live in Baltimore. So basically the dock
situation in Baltimore is seasoned to a wire. That shit is legit too. It'll be all kinds of shit.
Fucking drugs, human trafficking, I'm not saying this shit like I know to be for sure. But the way
the show painted it is seeing fucking feasible that it could happen, which I hope it isn't happening.
Because all that shit is like, it's just terrible towards like humanity. You want to see motherfuckers
drunk out. You don't want people forcefully put into those type of situations. But I might get
me a fucking job at the dock. And I go down there in a fucking light yellow vest and hard hat and
tell motherfuckers what to sweep up. And they tell me what to sweep up and what to move.
We'll figure it out. $63 an hour and a slot of fucking money. But if I got to be honest, my dream
job is to hit the fucking lottery. Yo, if I hit the lottery, I'm naked. I ain't starting no businesses.
I ain't doing nothing. That shit. If I hit the lottery, if I'm being honest with myself, I'm
going to request like that I can remain anonymous. And if that shit comes with some type of fee, I'll
happily pay it. I want to be off the radar. I just want to just, you know, go out, buy my little
shit, go back to my house, eat the food, travel a little bit, but not so much travel internationally.
And my biggest reason for not traveling internationally on my, because I have a passport.
I've been out the country before and all that type of shit. And I had a good experience when I went
out the country. I was in Costa Rica. Granted, I was staying at a full season's resort in Costa
Rica. So it was probably a little bit different than, you know, dealing with the locals and shit.
So I still enjoy it. But my biggest fear of traveling internationally is the fucking cuisine.
Yo, my best friend, Ty, be showing me these videos on IG and like, I don't know what country
or what countries these videos are from. But I watched one dude take a set of like,
things was like, like a little small, like, like the balls used like a pool game billiard.
Well, I don't know what they call it. But this nigga like, boiled them, broke them down, and then
he made a soup out of it. And then he showed me a girl, this lady, who was cutting up a fucking,
like giraffe. And she took the fucking giraffe face and made like lasagna with it or some shit.
Yo, I can't handle that type of shit. Like, I don't like to see animals hurt. And I get it.
Because I'm not a fucking vegetarian. Like I eat burgers and all that type of shit. But
I'm getting the end result. Once it's cleaned and packaged and all that other shit. I'm not
looking into that motherfucker. I was like, I can still see that. So and then cut that neck, cut the
head off. And then turn them niggas to be through like, I can't handle watching that type of shit.
And I can't watch anything that involves like piss of feasts. Like I just, it grossed me out.
Because I can say I was a thing. So when I see those type of videos and shit, in my mind, I can
smell it. I can't. But the funny thing is, on the foot side of that, I can fucking watch an autopsy
and eat a full course meal and not have any type of reaction to it. And I'm going blaming on my
older brother. So when we were younger, my older brother was about maybe 12 years older than me.
I'm saying something to that. Like, or 11 years older than me. Something along those lines. And I
remember he used to like stay in the basement at the house. That's like an older brother like
write a passage or some shit because he could have easily had a bit of a mess, but he chose the
basic texture. That's like a man cave first department type of experience. But long story short,
he had these videos called faces of death. And like, I don't know, he might have been out playing
basketball. I don't remember where the fuck he was. But if I'm being honest, he's had the dirty
magazines done and shit. So I really was on a hunt for some dirty magazines and stumbled across this
fucking GHS. And I was like, face the death. And then I put that shit in. And I saw some shit that
you cannot unsee. But I wasn't afraid of it. And I wasn't necessarily intrigued by it. Because at
first when I watched it, I thought it was fake. And then in a Mr. Me watching, he comes home,
but I'm so enthralled into this fucking video. I'm watching people getting the lecture chair.
I'm saying, fucking lady, get hit by a train, all kinds of all that shit. He can't have sex.
Like, what the fuck are you doing? You start, you know, older brother shit. And I was just like,
Oh, I just like, man, why are you watching that? You too young to watch that shit.
And then he looked inside long, I was watching. I've been watching this like 40 minutes ago.
You not afraid of this? I was like, I don't know. He's like, there ain't no one I got.
He's like, I got like faces of death from value one to value like five.
And I just sat there with that nigga and we watched it. And we kind of had like a bonding moment.
Also, brother brother is like the sole reason I'm into like hip hop. Because you know,
I'm born in the 80s raising the 90s. So, yo, my brother was like, not was he is, but I'm saying
was for the time period I'm speaking of, like the quintessential hip hop here. I'm talking.
This nigga had everything from Wu-Tang clan, the brave diggers, the Trobacall quest,
the leaders of the new school. He had some Ergy rock Kim shit. Like this is back when like,
if you had like Comcast cable or whatever the cable services called and whatever reason you
listen to them. But the Baltimore was like Comcast. I forgot what it was called prior to
Comcast. I don't remember. But like, it was this music channel called the box. And with the box
where you had to call this number and each video had like this like three digit code assigned to the
video. So, you would just watch the channels and I guess people were calling. I don't know if you
had to pay like small fee like 50 cents or a dollar or some shit, but you could request
what video you wanted to watch. So like the channel was like completely like randomized. So it could
go from hard rock to some R&B to some light rock to some super hip hop shit to vanilla ice or
whatever. And it was almost like a game for me and my younger brother. So because you could see
the numbers pop up on the screen as it was being requested. So let's say is biggie. One more chance
was like the number four was like 335 and it would be sitting there looking at like the bottom
of the screen. It'll pop up and it'd be like three three and then there'll be something like 337
some shit and then it'd be like smashing pumpkins and some shit. But because of that that opened
our ears up to like New Jersey. So I'm a kid in like third grade who's like fully aware like
Metallica. I'm fully aware of like Sound Guard. I'm fully aware of Nirvana and all that type of
shit. And I remember kids used to tease me like man you like white boy shit. And I remember I used
to be ashamed of that shit. But then the old I got to realize you know people classify some shit as
black music or white music or well man music is expensive. Except for like reggaeton like that's
like Latin which is obviously but I don't think any genre of music belongs to anybody regardless of
who the creator might be. It's just who makes the best version of it. I'm a rock with that shit.
And I don't believe that there's a bad genre of music. I listen to everything from fucking
hardcore. I don't like EDM. I don't like electric dance music. That's just
I don't know. That's just a thing weird but these are all. But I listen to Bluegrass. I listen to
Franklin. Reggae. I don't really get to the reggaeton type of shit. And I don't like drill music either.
Like it seems I don't like I like the creativity of the sound of it because like the sound really
like originates from like the UK. And they got like a genre called Brown which is basically like
drill. But drill excuse me. Let me rephrase that drill originated in Chicago with you know the
younger guys speaking on what they were actually doing. And they took that with the drum sound
of Brown in the UK and merged it. And once those two merged it pretty much created like
the Brooklyn drill sound. Pop Smoke, Trabio-Farn sound type of you know 20 few G's.
And these motherfuckers got talent because like I had made a couple drill beats. I haven't
rapped on it but I had made them to see if I could make them. And it's a particular way to go about
that shit. You know what I'm saying. So like yeah man I applaud all the guys who made that type of
music. I just wish it wasn't so reality based. I mean because like when they talk about smoking on
this person or that person and you just rapping along with that shit. That's somebody child.
That's somebody's father. Somebody's brother. Like that niggas is like two step dancing to like
on niggas graves. You know what I mean. But oh yeah. Like I said like my older brother we had like
a real bonded moment. You know what I mean. As far as like faces of death or all the fucking things.
So now when like like I said my best friend to show me like I guess like koalas and shit
being eaten and whatever the fuck that I can't watch this shit. But if it's like some gruesome
shit to like the human like I can watch it and not feel the way about it. And I think that's
I think that's probably because of my belief. As far as that's concerned like I don't do that.
It's a bad thing. Not even close. Like it's essential. I mean like I mean yeah it's sad.
And you know that comes from like our personal attachment to like people things like that.
But if you take the time to think about it everybody who ever lived was still alive.
This world will be fucking chaotic. It will be fucking unbearable. It's not enough resources.
Another place to live. Just like right now as you listen to this whatever helps you live in
them unless it's like new construction. Even if it's new construction somebody probably lived
that before. Even if these motherfuckers were like in PPs or tents or whatever type of structure it was.
Like you know I mean all this land has been used at some point so like you know.
But again like I said if everybody was still alive like you can't tell George Washington to
fucking move out. Like I've been here for 500 years or 200 years or whatever the fuck.
And I mean so that's essential. So it makes way it makes way for the new.
You know what I mean. Like when you see the trees start to turn from fall to winter and they fall
you don't grieve the leaves because you know they making room for the new shit that's going
hitting the spring. I mean I feel the same way. Now how a person
pairs might change how I view the stuff. But I still understand the importance of it.
And I spoke on this before on here but you know that's the reason why like I'm so
I'm so so focused on time and how I use it. You know what I mean. What I use it on.
Who I use it with what I use it for. You know what I'm saying. Like time is important. So
even with that like that teaches me as far as like
like even with like losing like relationships or whatever it's a friendship or whatever.
You know what I mean. Just like all right. That's the moment in time that we were pooled connected
whatever. But there's going to be a time where like I'm a dog. So until I reach that time I can't
spend my time like laying around or feeling sad or worrying about it. I got to keep it pushing
because time ain't going to stop just because I will. And this is coming from a person where like
in the past I experienced like deep levels of depression like deep levels of depression.
And I see that I can't pinpoint where my depression came from but I absolutely can.
Now is the time to get like I want to indulge in or like get deep on. No.
But I can't even say no. Not right now though because I'm in such a good
heads. But I think it's great. And that's equally great. Like I heard this guy say this before.
He's like you know why all skulls look like they're smiling. And I was like why. He's like
he's like he's a joke. I heard that from a guy was like on the plane one time I was flying from
from California back home to Baltimore. But I think I had like a layover or something like
Phoenix. And then when I like got back on the next plane I sat next to this guy. He was cool man.
And like I said I'm usually not the person who would just like spark a conversation up with like
a random like stranger. You know I'm usually like reserved to myself. But the way me and this guy
got the conversion is like I'm into playing chess. I love playing chess so much so. Like I don't
play like Candy Crush or whatever the fuck people play on that song. I don't know. I do
used to play Angry Birds. But outside of that I only played chess and I played solid straight. And
I played this one game like seeing how many words like it might be like they'll scramble word and
then it's like how many words can get out of this scramble word. I like that shit. I like to make
that I'm sitting there playing chess and I like one against the computer whatever my son. So the
guy goes let me see what you can do when it's not on easy mode which made me laugh when he
laughed and then I showed him I had it on the highest level possible. So then he goes to two
players and I'm like yeah it is. So we just sit down the plane got like a little trace look down.
I got my phone on that and I'm just playing chess against a random stranger and we get talking.
And he told me like from Nebraska and how like he was into like his family business. They own
like some kind of factory that makes like I think like nuts and bolts or some type of shit.
And he was saying like how lucrative it was. And you know if I can get a little personal like I'm
like a mechanical engineer. So like I have a high mechanical attitude for like repairs and
fixes and troubleshoot and all that type of shit. So I use you know nuts bolts screws all that
shit on the regular base time never stop to think. Who the fuck make these. Who owns. I mean obviously
like they come in a package with a name on it. Who the fuck decided yo I'm gonna start a nail.
But they did. And I sat next to the guy who was like if I can add to it.
I was doing the richest shit. You can't even really tell. And trust me I didn't just take that
shit. Like when he first said I took with a grain of salt because when he said that I was like
he pulls all the phone like he's showing me like the warehouses and how he's on his way to DC.
The negotiation type of contract and all that. And he just like showing me shit.
And he should be like this big ass late house on his phone. I was like that's pretty cool.
So I'm just this kid from like West Baltimore. It's this older guy who's probably like
maybe like in his late 50s at the time. And we just on the plane playing chess talking about
fucking schools and shit. I wonder where he is right now. I wonder if he's still alive.
I wonder if he's still in the business. If he's retired. It's probably retired. This is this is
the least at least maybe 10 years. But who knows. And I haven't thought about this motherfucker at all
until this very second. And I don't even know I got to that. I got to that. Oh yeah. About like
time and all that shit. But yeah. Do you ever do that? Do you ever have like those moments where
like you just think of random interaction. It could be with strangers. It could be with somebody
that you know from your past and just stop and go. I wonder what they doing. Man I think about it.
I probably should have fucking invented Instagram but my brain is in wire like that because as a kid
I used to do that shit like I be sitting there and just like playing Super Nintendo with my brother
and some shit. I might just like walk into the corner store and I stopped and think like
I wonder what Steve Herp is doing right now. This is like in the 90s and shit. And now with
Instagram and go. Yeah. I wonder what my cool Jordans doing right now or whatever celebrity
you pick. You open up your phone and then you can see two hours ago they posted themselves eating
spaghetti. You like oh shit. That used to not be a thing. Yo before the internet became such
just normal day to day thing. Yo you go ask your parents questions like your mom was the capital
of and then she was like I don't fucking know. I'm on the phone and you just didn't know.
And then you just wonder about the rest of your fucking day. A simple time man. Damn what
would life be like without the internet right now. Most of these motherfuckers probably had meltdowns
especially because you know nowadays a lot of people revenue is generated directly from social
media specifically. I guess Instagram and Facebook and all that type of shit. I can sell your product
on there. It's a way to send people to like the link like shit on my Instagram page. You got to hit
the link to sign this shit. So I don't know. I wish I would have fucking been in social media
but I would have did though is I would have put a limit on it because I feel like we too consumed
by it. Like I watched a video of this dude get hit by a car because he's just like he's just like
looking down at his phone and that's literally people standing around him going hey sir it's a
red light. It's a red light. Oh it's a green light whatever it was and he never even looks up on the
screen. He gets hit by the car and then the video just stops. But the crazy part is he's walking
past he's walking past you but nobody reached out to grab him. They let him walk in the streets
and he got hit by a car. I don't know if he died on the video pretty much stops at the bad.
But yeah man. Oh also I've been a super creative space lately man. I've been writing and recording
and producing and mixing and engineering and I've been having a fucking ball. I feel like
I just got a new just lease on life. I just knew just like spark of creativity and you know
I have things going on in my life personally that I could be upset about sad about the press about
but man again time is important and I'm getting better at learning how to control my time. I'll
start with the things that I'm forced to do like nine to five and all that type of shit.
I'll start with that shit man. Like I'm controlling my time. I'm taking advantage of it man. So
damn it's almost been 30 minutes already. Well with that being said I ain't gonna hold y'all
much longer man. I'm in and out. So thank y'all for listening. This has been episode 12 of the
Cardin Tick the Large Podcast. If you got any questions or comments you can hit me up on my
Instagram at QGMusic as QGMU as I say. Give me almost a good night's go music and shit.
I hope y'all have a great week. I hope y'all be productive. I hope y'all chase whatever dream
you chase and I hope you get one step closer to it if you don't catch it. Peace.