Yo, I'd like to welcome everybody back to a brand new episode of the Cognitive for Large
podcast.
I am your host, Quentin Golden.
But, friends and family call me QG for short, and if you show like that's what we'll be
coming through these podcasts, you can call me that too.
And this is episode three, man.
I'm surprised I'm being so consistent with the podcast thing because I like to do a
little bit of everything.
So I might do some shit for like a month and be super into it.
Like, I don't know, build a model train or some shit like that.
And then I'll lose interest in that shit and then I'll just start researching something
deeply for like a month.
And then once I feel like I know as much as I want to know about it, or I lose interest
in it, I go, man.
I'm going to some other shit.
The only thing in my life that's been consistent as far as hobbies are concerned is music.
And I guess now that I'm producing beats and engineering, like, I think I'm so intrigued
by that because I don't know everything about it.
So it gives me a chance like to learn something new and, you know, consistently work at it,
see if I can get better at it.
And that intrigue, like that intrigue, it makes me want to keep pushing forward to see
how so I can take it.
So this week has been dope, actually.
Man, the past shit almost a month has just been dope.
I've been spending more time alone.
I wouldn't call it soul searching necessarily, but just, you know, evaluating the things that
I do, the people around me trying to figure out what do I truly enjoy.
And it's been an adventure, man, one that I'm loving, actually, you know.
I've been through, you know, shit in my life where I'll go through, like, peaks and valleys
and the peaks and valleys would be like, you know, a regular type of thing, but lately
I'm on all peaks. And usually when that type of shit happens to me, like, I start to think
about Mercy's Law. And if you don't know what Mercy Law is, it's the law that says anything
that can go bad will go bad.
And for the longest time, like, I moved around with that mindset.
So if something good was happening for me in my head, I would just start preparing for, like,
a downfall. What can be toxic in, like, any type of relationship you have, if that's a
friendship or if it's, like, a person you date, because energy is real.
And when you give off that energy, like, you're expecting something to go bad, people will
feel it, recognize it. Even if they don't recognize it, they'll feel it.
And that could alter how they look at the situation or, you know, how close y'all can get
to it. But it might actually push y'all apart. So I've been trying to avoid that.
I think another reason why I'm in such a good mood lately is that it's finally starting to
feel like fall, which is by far my favorite season. And my birthday is in the summertime.
My birthday is in July, and I fucking hate this. It's too hot. It's too many people.
I don't know. I just pass. I pass in the summer.
The wintertime is cool, but then sometime it's too cold. Spring is okay, but it rains a
lot. And I actually enjoy the rain. It might be my favorite weather, but that's all contingent
on if I have anything scheduled to do. If I'm, like, if I'm just free, it's just all
leisure time. I love the rain. I like how it sounds. I like the way the rain smells.
Like, I enjoy the rain, but when it comes to the fall, perfect weather. Not too hot,
not too cold. Put a little hoodie on, put a jacket on. Football is on. I like to see
the leaves change, like, you know. And my favorite holiday is in the fall, which would be
Halloween. Thanksgiving is cool, but I like Halloween. And the reason being, besides the fact
that I'm into, like, spooky shit and all that type of shit, I feel like Halloween might
be the only holiday that's true to its origins. You know what I mean? Like, think about something
like Easter. And that's supposed to be, you know, a celebration of the return of Jesus Christ
if that's your belief system. And through the years, now it has to do with rabbits and
fucking eggs being decorated. I don't even know the correlation between that. And then
you take it to something like Thanksgiving and it's like, oh, it's a celebration of people
from a far land meeting the indigenous people of here. They're going to share meal as a
family. And they gave them niggas smallpox. And when it comes to Christmas, like, it's
more so to deal with the pagans and, yo, that's a lot with that shit. If you want to take the
time to research it and like ruin your childhood and other shit, do it. I've done it and it
will play. You know what I mean? Like, but Halloween, I love it. I like the creepiness
of it. It's fucking candy and so that's dope. You get to wear masks, dress up, be who you
want to be, even if it's just for a night. And I think if people did that more consistently,
I think they will be overall more happy. But, you know, living in a society where anything
outside of the norm is like zillified or like is demonized, no pun intended. And I mean,
but on Halloween, shit, be what you want to be. Like, you know, if you're a female and
like, you know, you're super reserved and everything is all business, you dress like Hillary Clinton
and shit, yo, you can go be like a fucking slutty nurse and make a zombie slutty nurse
if you want to put some swag on it. Halloween is fire, man. I love it. I mean, oh man, I'm
just in a good fucking mood, man. I'm just in a good mood. Oh, so again, this shit is
so scat-a-brain, so I'm going to do that a lot while I just jump from shit to shit.
So get used to it, that's just what I'm going to do. But I was talking to my best friend
and shit and we sitting there and I don't even know what he was talking about. But then
he kind of brought up this thing that he learned. So he put me on the game about the four H's
and the four H's applies to relationships, more so like intimate relationships. So if
you have a partner and you see the day upset or they might seem a little off from what
their normal day-to-day is, you know, you know your partner. He was like, yo, he said you
got to approach him and there's four H's, four questions that you have to ask. Yo, do you
need help? Do you need to be held? Do you need to be heard? Or do you need to be hunked?
And if those four things can fix your situation, you might need to go to like couple therapy
or some shit. And when he told me that shit, like I said back and I thought about it, I'm
like, yo, that's some real ass shit. It really is. Really take the time to think about it.
If your partner is upset, go to him and go, yo, do you need help with something? Hey,
do you just need a hug? You need to be held right now? Because sometimes that's all you
need. That human connection that touched like, you know what I mean? Because this energy
transfer, so then it's like, all right, maybe you got some shit on your mind and you just
think nobody understands you. So yo, do you need to be heard? Tell me what's on your mind.
Let me hear you out. Or, you know what I mean? You might just need some, some humping.
Humping is funny. I like that. I like saying humping. Like that shit is funny. And I like
saying like wiener. Yeah, I mean, so like, I never referred to like my dick is a dick.
I just like, I got to go piss, man. I wouldn't have had to put out my wiener. You know what
I mean? The wiener is just a good word. I like that shit. Yeah, speaking of, well, not speaking
of wieners, but I thought about this shit the other day. I fucking hate pornos. I don't
like it. I don't like it. I think because I overthink everything. When I, when I've looked
at pornos, especially like in the past years, I find myself feeling bad for the lady that's
in the porno. Hear me out. It's like, I go, yo, what, what led you to this? Why was
this your, your past, your career path? Like why? I mean, did you not have the light up
hanging? Were you so, you know, restricted where you couldn't like, you know, wear certain
things or express yourself, I guess in a sexual way, but not so much sexual. I don't mean
it like that. Like just be expressive and I don't know, whatever, whatever your reasons
may be, like it led to this young camera just getting humped by just land of wieners. And
it's like, damn, that's your life. That sucks, man. Because everybody has a history, obviously,
but I don't want to be able to Google your shit. You know what I mean? And then let's
say, all right, you get out of shape or they find the next version of you or better version
of you and they kick you to the curb. Now it's just like, all right, I got to fucking
figure out life. And then you got to try to go, you know, get a nine to five. Or now you
just start like the only fans of some shit and just hold on to whatever built in fan base
you got. But let's say you do start a nine to five and you want to have a family. Yo,
that's the conversation that you got to have with your partner. Hey, I used to fuck for
money legally. You know what I mean? And then, you know, let's say you do end up getting
married, not even married. You just end up in a relationship where you have you have
a kid and then you got to go to like a PTA meeting and I don't have kids. I'm not really
sure PTA meetings work and I don't really remember the ones my parents came to. But
you sit there asking or they're asking you like, Hey, man, he's, do you know why he's
been acting up as everything going on? Is anything going on at home? And you just sit
there like, no, everything is fine. And in the midst of you like saying that shit, like
the person crossing stuff squinting their eyes kind of like, Oh shit, is that so so from
Brucey butts number seven? And it is. But that's the choice that you made. And that shit is
like lifelong. But at the same time, don't be a senior. You pass man. Shit. If that's what
you was doing, you know, standing stand on it like B. Yeah, that's what was, you know,
said it might still be who you are, but I'm just trying something different. So shout out
to porn stars man. That's it. I'm sorry. Like I said, I know I'm not your motherfucking first person
you ever been with, but I want to be able to dig in my pocket and fucking Google you are
going porn hub or some shit. And your face is on the camera your eyes wide looking like
this shit. Dr. Wayne is like, fuck. I'm about to go make dinner for this late. Fuck that.
Like anytime. Yeah, no. Passing on this. Oh, yo, I read this article the other day. I actually
read two articles and they kind of like similar but they not. So one article, they were saying
that these researchers, they have like these these cells or what I was from a person that
like passed away and the cells are like still active, but they're not alive. I know that
sounds confusing because I was confused by when I first read it. So they said like these
cells that they have are technically clinically dead. So they're not alive, but they're functional.
And not only are they functional, like they're like playing music for for these cells and
introduce them like different smells or like textures from atmosphere and they send that
the cells are adapting to it. So they said it's not dead. It's not alive. It's in a third
state and they can they can explain what that third state is. So then I started thinking
I'm like, damn, is it like, you know, is it like in a dimension or some shit? Maybe not.
But but I was intrigued by that shit. So I can't delve too deep into it because I don't know
enough about it and I won't be giving out misinformation. But who the fuck is coming to me for
correctness and taking do with that, whatever you want. But the second article that I read
that I found super interesting, I want to say this was in Japan. I want to say Japan, but
it could have been China, but I want to say it was Japan where they have this machine.
It looks similar to like when you get like an MRI or whatever, and you go into that like
circular thing and you slide in there or whatever. But they said that this machine has the ability
to record your dreams while you sleep and then plan back for you when you wake up so you can
analyze the dream. That is some of the craziest shit I've ever heard. But that shit is so
fine. Like I read this book once and they say that everybody has at least like five to ten
dreams a night. And when you wake up and you remember the dream, it might hold some kind
of like personal significance to you or something. But that's why your dreams seem so out of whack
or like just all over the fucking place because you might be remembering bits and pieces from
each dream. So like you might, you know, I was at the amusement park, then I got on the
roller coaster, but as the roller coaster went down, we was at Grandma's house. And then
Grandma told me to go out back. When I opened up the back door, I was in like the Mahavi
house. But then I started digging and then Santa Claus pulled my arm up through the hole
and I was in the North Pole. Like the fuck kind of dream was that? But you know, when you
analyze it, you can feel like your life is going up and down with the roller coaster.
You can miss your grandma and you wish that you still had that home type of feeling. You
know what I mean? And then maybe the Santa Claus park might be you looking for like a
supernatural figure like to pull you through some shit. Damn, I just freestyle that shit.
That shit kind of makes sense. But at the same time, it don't make any sense. I'm not
naked. And it was out there listening right now. Like here's that get off my wing.
I cannot stop saying this fucking word. But yeah, yo, the think how far technology
advanced that, you know, I could record your fucking dream and then play it for like, I
got to look deeper into that because I need to understand like one, who made this like
amazing breakthrough to what equipment are they using? Like are they like taking? I'm
pretty sure they probably like standing your brainwaves, whatever. But the way it was
explained is how I'm saying the verbatim that, you know, going this machine, they record
while you sleep, they film your dreams. When you wake up, they plan back for it. Like I
got to I got to look deep into that. So I need to understand that level of like technology.
That shit is so advanced. Like, like, all right, what's something like deja vu, which
I looked up. Yo, scientists can explain what the fuck it is. But they obviously know that
it's real because who hasn't experienced it? You know, you might find yourself, you know,
in a grocery store, you might be like pulling up to like a party or some shit and go, oh,
fuck that. What makes me think that there may be multiple dimensions, whatever. And it
might just be a moment where you on dimension one might line up with the same version of
yourself, but he's like in dimension 10 or some shit. And y'all just happen to just like
be overnight moment. You go up for at the same time. But then, you know, dimension one,
you might get out, go to the party and meet your wife. And then dimension 13 or 10 or
whatever, you might get out the car and then like fucking getting a fight with like a street
swoop and do some shit. What's crazy? Like, when you think about like the, I don't know,
like, I'm not smart enough to say that having exist or doesn't exist. Like how the fuck
does anybody truly know? But if that gives you like peace of mind or that, then I wish
you the best for that. I empower you to move in that direction. That's what gives you that
chance to comfort. But for me, like I asked too many questions. It's just like most should
be like, well, how do you know? And that's kind of the beauty of life is that like, yo,
there's some questions you just won't ever get the answer to. And when you learn how to
accept that life becomes so much more just it just becomes easier. And I mean, like we
overthink, which is not a bad thing, but it can be. Like you got control of that. And
that's what we shall realize. Like, you know, if you focus too much on the past, like it
will make you feel depressed. If you focus too much on the future, it'll give you anxiety
because you're preparing for shit. Or you're trying to like remedy a problem that hasn't
encouraged you. Like the best thing is to like live in a moment. Be present in the moment.
Like when I watch like, let's say I'm watching something on TV. And they'll show like the
like the crowd and everybody in the crowd got that phone up recording the moment. And
I get it. You want to be able to show people that you had that experience. You might even
want to double back yourself when you think about that experience. But it's like, did you
really experience it? You know what I mean? Like you were so focused on let me make sure
I got the right angle and I did you even enjoy what you were seeing in person? Some shit is
just better word of mouth. Like my grandmother used to like tell us stories and all that
shit and she have no in the document that that shit even happened. But I believe that
I have a reason not to. You know what I mean? Like her telling me the first time she heard
like Malcolm X speech. I mean not speech, but she heard him speak and you know, and that
time black people wasn't really allowed to talk like that. So she said like the head
at it gave hope. Even though she was like a desal Christian and she loved she loved
my movie. But I think like Malcolm was like her guilty pleasure. Like, yeah, he was the
bad boy of activism type of shit. At least I feel like that's how my grandma might have
viewed him. And I could be way off base. There's my grandma, a person like 94. I'm fucking
assuming and flu styling with I think she meant but from my recollection, I do recall
her, you know, speaking of Malcolm X almost like he was a rebel type of shit. And I think
that's where my love for Malcolm X came in. So when I was like 10 or 11, I got the
autobiography of Malcolm X by like Alakali, who's the same dude who like wrote roots or
whatever. With like, LeVar Burton, when he played like a cool, some shit, and you got
to cut off and whatever. But I remember reading when I was like 11. And at the time it like
just felt like words. So I remember I got my first apartment and I'm unpacking my shit.
And I find the autobiography of Malcolm X from when I was like 11, which I still have
right now. I still have that exact one. And I remember reading the game when I was like
19 or 20. And it became so much more than words. Like I felt myself and I could see
myself in a lot of those like chapters and like damn, I know that experience. Damn, I
know that film. Yeah, I mean, and like, I love Malcolm X. I think one of the greatest.
But then I found out some shit about the Alex Haley version. So there's a college
historian named Manon Marble and he wrote a version of the two. But his shit is like
the raw uncut behind the scenes. His his autobiography or his version of the Malcolm
autobiography actually starts with Malcolm's father. And I was like from Canada and had
a whole wife and kids up there and then came down to America to follow the teaching the
Muckers Garvey and I banded his like first family. And then it gets into like how you
met the mom and how they had the kids and how you died. Then it gets to Malcolm and
all that. But I found out there might have been somebody from like Malcolm X's family,
maybe one of his daughters. Yo, Alex Haley didn't really care for Malcolm X. He didn't
dislike him, but like he didn't believe in separatism. So when he was doing the
autobiography of Malcolm X, a lot of the stuff where like he was interviewing Malcolm X
directly was in the midst of him, you know, facing out of the nation, the Islam and the
book wasn't completed when Malcolm died. So a lot of that stuff that's in the autobiography
of Malcolm X by Alex Haley, a lot of that is Alex Haley's personal beliefs and shit.
You know, saying like that shit wasn't like authentically Malcolm. I mean, it was up to
a certain point, but then, you know, if the person that I'm trying to follow around and
document dies, but I still got unanswered questions. Now I got an answer based on me
being around them and assuming what I think he would answer. You know what I mean? I think
you should read both versions like they're both great. But I feel like the Alex Haley
version kind of got like an asterisk next to it. Even though that's the version that
kind of put me on the path that I am, that I'm on now is like, yo, think more, think
before you speak, take shit in consideration. You know what I mean? Realizing that, you
know, everything ain't about you. I read this quote once and said, when you stand in
front of the ocean, you're supposed to feel small. Realize that you're just a part of
the world, but you're not the world. I'm just a drop of rain in the ocean. You know what
I'm saying? I'm playing my small part and whatever this matrix is, whatever this universe
is, I'm just making my mark. Oh, playing my part, I should say. Playing my part. That
makes me think, that makes me kind of want to go on the topic like a free will and that
we really had. But I might say that for like a different time. But I remember I used to
pose this question to friends of mine who were like, no, on street. Like I said, I ain't
making it like I was the most street guy ever. But I did my toe out there and I've seen what
I've seen and all of that jazz. But it's kind of like skew my opinions and based on
what I deserve. But anyways, I used to ask my friends like, yo, bro, are you a good person?
And they would go, yeah, I'm a good person. I go, what makes you a good person? And they
go, because I am. Which really isn't the answer. But I guess it's the answer. So then I'll
double up with the second question like, all right, if tomorrow they said it was completely
legal to rob a bank, there's no consequences. What would stop you from doing it? They was
like, well, I wouldn't get in trouble for robbing the bank. I'm like, no, I was like,
if you don't see a less dollar, but now robbing banks are completely legal. What'd you do?
They go, hell yeah. Bro, you're not a good person. He's like, what you mean? I'm trying
to survive. I was like, that's not what's the question. If something you know is wrong
at this core, you're taking money from other people. You might potentially have to hurt
somebody in the process of getting that money. But then because you know there is no consequences
attached to this, you're going to do it freely. So I go, yo, are you a good person because
you're a good person? Or are you a good person because you feel like you have to be? And
that kind of play into like, when I hear like, you know, really religious people, it's like,
all right, it's just really guiding you to be a good person. Or are you hoping for some
grand reward in the end, heaven? Or are you afraid of some grand level of like consequence?
Like hell. I mean, because if we go by like, if you, if you, of the Christian faith, because
I don't want to speak to all the religions, like they the same mountain to y'all. But
if there is a God, I believe that like God is a tree and every religion that exists is
a branch off that tree, which leads back to God. If that's like, what's the, but you know,
like I said, I'm using this like Christian based type of shit because it's the most common
common religion, at least like in the country, city, state that I live in. This is like, well,
the 10 commandments, nobody fucking abide by none of that shit. Maybe the major one like
dowson, not killed, but other than that, nigga's lie, nigga's cheat, nigga's still, you know,
I mean, they fucking, and then they'll double back and go, well, God knows my heart. What's
kind of go back to the free will shit that I don't really want to get into right now,
but I was just touching on a little bit. They say like everything that we do is written in
a book and it's predetermined type of shit, but God gives you the free will to do what
you want. So is your life written or are you writing it? And if God had the power like
to, you know, stop you from doing some bad shit, why would he let you do it? If it's
even to him, but I don't want to get me at some, not trying to send a bite. I usually
avoid religion and politics because people are too emotional when it comes to those like
topics and shit. So unless I'm really, really close with you, then we can have the back
and forth and all that. And in the midst of me having the back and forth, the back and
forth isn't for me to prove that I'm right about some shit. Cause that's not what I'm
trying to do. I'm just trying to get your perspective and share mine. And we may have
some points that are lying and then we may have some points that like just like, you
know, like polar opposite. And I think it's, I think both sides are dope because like for
me, it's more about the dialogue. That shit is important. You know what I'm saying? So
people don't talk to each other enough. That's why so many misconceptions. That's why
so many misunderstandings like real cease-mise from a different culture and just assumed
some shit because like we don't have that dialogue. We don't have that level of understanding
stuff. You know, and I think that drives the wedge between us globally, fit locally,
nationally, like whatever level, but yeah, just random scatterbrained shit. Hopefully
y'all are used to it by now. And with that being said, I want to thank everybody who
tuned in to listen. Even if you played this for like five minutes. And if you did, you
not even hear this part, but if you made it to this part, I want to thank you for listening.
I want to thank you for taking the time to listen to me because who the fuck am I? I'm
just a regular ass dude. But taking time out of your day, you know, anyways, if you want
to reach out to me, have any questions, concerns, want to challenge anything that I said, you
can follow me on Instagram at QG Music. That's Q G M U S I C Music. Or QG Music. I just said
it. You'll find it. Like you'll find it. I hope everybody is safe. I hope everybody
is productive. I hope I hope whatever goal that you're chasing, you get one step closer
if not achieving it completely. Talk to you next time. Peace.