1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,680 Hello and welcome to another episode of the CRS podcast. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:08,080 This is a special episode commemorating the birthday of our lead producer Andrew. 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:13,200 In this episode, a man named John changes his phone number which was previously owned by a woman 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:18,400 named Emily who weighs in a family group chat. Instead of clarifying the mistake, John decides 5 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:24,080 to have some fun by stirring up drama, taking sides in family debates and dropping vague bombshells 6 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:28,960 like having a mysterious boyfriend. Anyway, let's jump into the episode. When I decided to change 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:33,920 my phone number, I thought it would be a fresh start. No more spam calls, no random texts from 8 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:38,480 people I didn't know, and definitely no more late night drunken, hey you up, messages from people 9 00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:42,960 I'd rather not hear from. The process was straightforward and within minutes I had a 10 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,520 shiny new number that was uniquely mine or so I thought. The first inkling that something was 11 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:52,640 off came about a day later. I received a barrage of texts from an unknown group chat. At first, 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:58,080 I assumed it was a mistake, but as I scrolled through, I realized this was no random group. 13 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:03,040 It was a full blown family chat. People were sharing pictures of babies, discussing who was 14 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:08,240 hosting Thanksgiving, and even arguing about whose potato salad recipe was superior. I was about to 15 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:13,760 leave the group chat quietly when I noticed the messages were addressed to someone named Emily. 16 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:18,240 That's when it clicked. This phone number wasn't as fresh as I thought. It used to belong to this 17 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:23,040 Emily person, and she clearly hadn't informed her family about the change. Thought about doing 18 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,760 the responsible thing and letting them know they had the wrong number. But where's the fun in that? 19 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:32,720 Instead, I decided to have a little fun. After all, it's not every day you're handed the keys 20 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,760 to someone else's family drama. The first thing I did was pick a side in the ongoing potato salad 21 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:43,280 debate. I texted, let's be real, Aunt Karen's potato salad is basically just mayonnaise soup 22 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:49,040 with chunks of sadness in it. Instant chaos. Aunt Karen fired back with a passive aggressive. Well, 23 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:54,480 excuse me Emily, but I didn't see you offering to make anything at the last family picnic. Uncle Mike 24 00:01:54,480 --> 00:02:00,160 jumped in with a laughing emoji saying she's not wrong Karen. By the end of the day, I had Aunt 25 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:05,760 Karen swearing off family picnics entirely and Uncle Mike laughing his head off. On the third day 26 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,480 of messing with their family, I decided to up the ante. I texted the group, by the way, I might bring 27 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:15,280 someone to Thanksgiving. Hope you're cool with it. This was apparently scandalous news. Within 28 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:20,800 seconds, the chat blew up with questions. Who is he? Does mom know? You never tell us anything 29 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:27,360 anymore. Emily played coy, responding with you'll meet him soon enough. Winky face. Cousin Laura, 30 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,640 clearly the gossip queen, sent a private message asking if this boyfriend was the same guy from 31 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:38,240 that incident last year. I had no idea what she was talking about. But I responded, OMG Laura, 32 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:43,760 please don't bring that up again. She replied with I knew it. On the seventh day, I was a daily fixture 33 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:49,600 in the group chat. Every morning, I drop a bombshell and sit back to watch the fireworks. One day, 34 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:55,120 I casually mentioned that I thought cousin Sarah's new boyfriend was a little sketchy. Cue Sarah, 35 00:02:55,120 --> 00:03:00,560 excuse me. What's that supposed to mean? Me, nothing, just vibes, you know? Uncle Mike, 36 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:07,200 ever the instigator, chimed in with, I mean, he does drive a van with no windows. Sarah went ballistic, 37 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:12,000 accusing the entire family of being judgmental and saying she wouldn't come to Thanksgiving at all. 38 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:17,200 I was on a roll. Few weeks in, I started noticing that some of the names in the chat were oddly 39 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:22,480 familiar. Laura, Sarah, Karen, those weren't exactly uncommon names, but something about them 40 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:27,520 tugged at the back of my mind. Then one night, it hit me like a ton of bricks. These are my cousins, 41 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:32,960 sat there in stunned silence, scrolling back through the chat history. The Thanksgiving plans? 42 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:38,080 That was my family's Thanksgiving. Aunt Karen's potato salad? I'd been avoiding it since I was 10. 43 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:43,360 The number I had inherited wasn't just Emily's old number. It was my cousin Emily's old number. 44 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:48,960 Once the realization set in, I was paralyzed within decision. Do I come clean and admit that I'd been 45 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:55,200 the puppet master behind weeks of family chaos? Or do I quietly bow out and hope no one ever 46 00:03:55,200 --> 00:04:00,000 discovers the truth? Ultimately, I decided on a middle ground. I texted the group, hey guys, 47 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:05,600 this isn't Emily anymore. Sorry for the confusion. Confusion. The chat went silent for a solid five 48 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:11,600 minutes. Then Aunt Karen, ever dramatic, replied, wait, who is this? Left the group chat without 49 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:17,040 another word. Thanksgiving that year was tense. Aunt Karen avoided eye contact. Sarah glared at 50 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:22,640 everyone and Uncle Mike kept snickering into his beer. No one brought up the mysterious text, 51 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:27,440 but I could feel the suspicion in the air. As for me, I've never changed my phone number again. 52 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:43,360 Some lessons you only need to learn once.